THE MISSION OF JESUS: WOUNDED HEALER John 20:19-31 April 27, 2014 Trinity Presbyterian Church, Arlington, VA Rev. Judith Fulp-Eickstaedt

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week…,” today’s gospel text begins. When it was evening on that day, the day that had begun so strangely, the day Mary, torn with grief, had come to them in the earliest hours of daylight to report that the body of Jesus was missing. It was hard to believe it was still the same day that John and Peter had taken off running to see for themselves what was going on and had discovered the empty tomb and Jesus’ abandoned graveclothes. So many hours had passed since they had come back and confirmed Mary’s story: the body was missing. And it seemed like days had passed since Mary had shown up again, breathless, to tell them another story, to proclaim, “I have seen the Lord!”

The disciples might have been celebrating but they are not. They have seen no evidence that what Mary claimed is true. If they started out believing or wanting to believe her, if they started out waiting expectantly for the Lord to appear to them, the hours have worn them down.

They are afraid now, afraid of what might happen to them. Afraid they will be thrown out of the synagogue for being a follower of someone who was crucified, the most shameful of deaths. Afraid their families and their communities will reject them from now own. Afraid that what Mary said might make them even more vulnerable to facing the same fate as Jesus. So all of them, except for Thomas, are huddled in the safety of a locked room.

I wonder about Thomas, what he was doing on that evening, the first day of the week, the evening of the resurrection of the Lord? Had Thomas gone to find food for the disciples? Had he decided that he would be safer on his own, away from the group? Or had he gone out to see if he could make sense of everything that had happened, everything that had been said? Was he off searching for evidence that what Mary said was true? Or still looking to solve the mystery of the missing body?

Whatever Thomas was doing that evening he was not in the locked room with the other 10 disciples to witness what happened when Jesus came among them for the first time since his resurrection. The scene in which the gospel of John describes this mysterious encounter unfolds in four distinct events.

First, Jesus appears in the midst of the disciples with the words, “Peace be with you.” He shows them his hands and side. The disciples believe it is Jesus and rejoice that what was earlier reported to them is true.

Second, Jesus commissions the disciples to carry on his work, continue his ministry.

Third, Jesus breathes on his disciples, bestowing the gift of the Holy Spirit.

Fourth, Jesus authorizes the disciples to forgive sins.

When I was growing up I heard this story a lot, and mostly it was focused on the second part of the story, the part where Thomas didn’t believe what his fellow disciples told him. This story was told in Sunday School as a warning. Don’t be like Thomas! Don’t be a doubter. It’s not surprising that this story stands out in my mind because it is the story for the Sunday after Easter in all three years of the lectionary. Doesn’t matter if you are going to the Emmaus Road, like we are this year in the lectionary, or whether you are going to end up on the beach eating cooked fish and being told to “feed my sheep.” You are going to get there by way of Thomas, who is called the doubter.

But before we get to Thomas I want to back up and look more closely at the first scene, when Jesus appeared to the ten disciples, for it is here that we see most clearly the mission of Jesus. We have been exploring the mission of Jesus over the past seven weeks and with one more week to go we are now looking at the post-resurrection appearances of Jesus and what they reveal about his mission and how we are to carry on that mission in the world.

One of the first revelations about Jesus in this story is that Jesus will not be stopped by locked doors. That is good news because like the disciples we are apt to be found behind the locked doors of confusion, shame, and fear. A while back the automobile industry figured out a way to make cars safer by installing automatic locking systems. When the car is engaged you have not gone far before you hear the familiar click of the doors automatically locking. By and large it’s a good thing. Kids can’t accidentally open a door and fall out. When you are stopped at a light your vehicle is secure. No one can get in unless you unlock the doors.

I think about those automatic locking systems though and there is something that resonates with me emotionally, the automatic way we shut down in self-protection when emotions are overwhelming, when we feel vulnerable, and especially when we feel shame. I almost hear the familiar click just reading that list. Overwhelmed. Click. Vulnerable. Click. Ashamed. Click. I imagine the disciples were feeling all of those things that night, especially shame, shame that they had fled in the face of trouble, shame that they had abandoned Jesus. Jesus found them that night behind locked doors, both physically and emotionally.

But Jesus will not be stopped by locked doors. This detail gives us some clues to the nature of his resurrection body, as one commentator put it, a highlycharged energetic body, able to go beyond the limitations of normal human bodies. But it is nonetheless his body, flesh and blood. Jesus shows the disciples his wounds so there is no mistaking his identity. This is Jesus, who they loved, who they abandoned, who was crucified.

But Jesus does not come to confront his disciples with their failures. Instead he greets them with a traditional Jewish greeting, “Peace be with you.” Jesus is not just saying, “I hope you have a conflict free life.” Rather, he is invoking shalom for his disciples, a deep sense of well-being, a sense that all is well and that all manner of things will be well. This is, as Jesus told them in John chapter 14, the kind of peace the world cannot give. Implicit in this greeting is Jesus’ forgiveness and his deep love for his disciples.

What follows is a commissioning. The first words of this commissioning are familiar words in the gospel of John. Jesus says that he has been sent by the Father. Forty-one times in the gospel of John Jesus makes this affirmation that he has been sent by the Father. What this means is that Jesus comes from God in order to reveal God to the world and to do that through teaching, healing, and gathering disciples, who will carry on his work.

“As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” Jesus says. This kind of blatant mission statement is a familiar feature, especially in the gospel of John. “Love one another as I have loved you.” “If I, your Lord and Master have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.” Follow my example, Jesus says. What I am called to do, I empower you also to do.

Jesus stands before his disciples in this story displaying his wounds and bestowing forgiveness. And he says to them, “As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” I send you wounded and vulnerable. I send you to love, to grant forgiveness.

The mission Jesus gives to his disciples then and also to us who would be his disciples in this generation is to break through locked doors with words of healing, words that come from our own intimate experience of pain and shame, words that do not come easily because they come from our places of deepest vulnerability. Parker Palmer spoke of this mission when he said, "the mission of the church is not to enlarge its membership, not to bring outsiders to accept its terms, but simply to love the world in every possible way – to love the world as God did and does" (In the Company of Strangers).

The third movement in the text has been called the “Johannine Pentecost.” This happens in the gospel of John on the evening of resurrection day. We are so used to the Luke-Acts version of the Pentecost event that we are likely to miss this moment in the gospel of John. It is in the gospel of John that Jesus promised to send another Advocate, the Holy Spirit. And there is no waiting in this gospel. The first time Jesus appears to his disciples after the resurrection he breathes into his them the gift of the Holy Spirit. This infusion of God’s Spirit will empower them as they go forward to carry out the mission of Jesus.

In the final piece of this first scene Jesus says to his disciples, “if you forgive the sins of any they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any they are retained.” Taken out of context, this statement has been interpreted in some questionable ways, as if Jesus is giving the authority to decide what constitutes sin and what does not to the disciples and by extension to the church. Taken out of context this seems to say that the disciples and by extension the church have the power to hand out God’s forgiveness or more importantly to withhold God’s forgiveness for corporate or individual sins. Whether or not the passage is interpreted in this way, the church has in many instances assumed that role anyway, deciding what can be called sin, which sins are forgivable and which are not, sometimes heaping shame on people and using scripture to justify their right to do it.

But we have to take this remark in context, in the context of what Jesus said only moments before, “As God has sent me, so I send you.” God has sent me, wounded and vulnerable, to pronounce forgiveness and to release people from the prison of shame. And I start that right now by releasing all of you who are hiding behind the locked door of fear and shame. I could retain your sins but I release them. Let your spirits be at peace, and not some superficial peace that puts a band-aid on a gaping wound. No, I’m offering you real peace, a peace the world cannot give you. This is the peace that says, “I am wounded. I have known fear and pain and doubt, I have known shame and I also know that through it all I have been deeply loved by God. That is what I offer you.

In the context of encountering the wounded healer how do you think the disciples interpreted Jesus’ words, “if you forgive the sins of any they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any they are retained?” My guess is that Eugene Peterson was closer to right when he rephrased that to say, “"If you forgive someone's sins, they're gone for good. If you don't forgive sins, what are you going to do with them?"

What are you going to do with them? That’s a great question. Are you going to use someone else’s shortcomings to boost your own sense of self-worth? “I’m not so bad…just look at what he did, what she said” Are you going to use someone else’s sin to gain an advantage over them in a relationship? “No matter what you do, it will never make up for the time when you did this to me.” Are you going to use someone else’s failings to justify your own behavior? “the only reason I cheated on that test is because everyone else is cheating so it’s only fair, right?” Are you going to use someone else’s sin to cover your own shame? “I’m not so sure God or anyone else would love me if they knew who I am deep down, but instead of dealing with those feelings, I’m going to make someone else feel ashamed of who they are.

The truth about all of us is that we are wounded. We have known pain and doubt, shame and despair. We have failed spectacularly and in small ways that only we have noticed. We have known pain because of the frailty of human bodies and because we have been hurt by people who claim to love us, people who do love us. We have been hurt by the world, by systems we live in and participate in. We have been hurt by our own attempts to hide pain and shame, because nothing makes those things grow more than keeping them a secret. We want to keep up the façade, though, so at great cost to our souls we continue to pretend that we have it all together or that we are the persona we present to the world. We do anything we can to hide our woundedness.

What we learn from Jesus about pain is that it does not make us lesser disciples. It actually enables us to be more compassionate, more empathetic with others who are in pain. I know that I became much more responsive as a pastor after I spent some time in the hospital myself, after I went through complications from surgery. I know that experiences I have had in my life have made me especially attuned to the needs of youth who stand on the outside of the in crowd, youth who are on the verge of getting into trouble, or who are struggling with their own identity.

I have seen organizations like Compassionate Friends show exactly what Jesus meant when he called us to follow him as wounded healer. In that organization people who have been through the loss of a child help others who are newly dealing with that pain. The wounds we carry are not a detriment to our ministry, but enable us to minister in the name of the One who appeared in a locked room and showed his own wounds, his hands and his side.

Of course, Thomas was not there when all of this happened. Thomas was God knows where and came back to hear a story he could not believe unless he saw it with his own eyes, unless he encountered the risen Christ himself. We like to call him the doubter because it lessens out own shame at having doubts. Doubts and uncertainly frighten us, make us feel unworthy, ashamed. But this story shows us the heart of God, which has been defined by parables like the lost sheep. Jesus comes back for Thomas because of amazing grace that will not abide the loss of one of God’s own.

That is the story of Thomas, not the story of a doubter, but the story of all of us who are lost and found, and who are sought out and loved by God, whose heart we see in Jesus, the wounded healer.

A century ago, during the first world war, Poets attempted to put into words the death and suffering they witnessed. Their writings often revealed a longing to believe in God and their struggles with belief in the face of the horrors they were seeing. A Christian poet named Edward Shillito found in the concept of the wounded healer the only answer that make sense to him, and wrote about that with these words:

“He showed them His hands and His side.” If we have never sought, we seek Thee now; Thine eyes burn through the dark, our only stars; We must have sight of thorn-pricks on Thy brow, We must have Thee, O Jesus of the Scars. The heavens frighten us; they are too calm; In all the universe we have no place. Our wounds are hurting us; where is the balm? Lord Jesus, by Thy Scars, we claim Thy grace. If when the doors are shut, Thou drawest near, Only reveal those hands, that side of Thine; We know to-day what wounds are, have no fear, Show us Thy Scars, we know the countersign. The other gods were strong; but Thou wast weak;

They rode, but Thou didst stumble to a throne; But to our wounds only God’s wounds can speak, And not a god has wounds, but Thou alone.

Today we remember the upper room, and locked doors, and a Christ who came in anyway with gracious words born of his own pain. Today we give thanks for this Jesus of the Scars, the resurrected Christ who has breathed new life into us. Amen.

BENEDICTION The most important work we can do in Jesus’ name is to release people from the prisons of shame and fear. WE ARE COMMISSIONED TO LIVE IN A SHAME FILLED WORLD AND TO RELEASE PEOPLE OF SHAME. THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GUILT AND SHAME. NOT “I DID SOMETHING BAD, BUT I AM BAD.” Sometimes we are called to forgive people who have caused us pain. When the hurts are great, it is hard to forgive. We wonder, "How can I ever get to the place of giving up such overwhelming hurt?" But we are not on our own for this. Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit before he called us to forgive. The work of the Spirit is to bind us into the work of Jesus Christ. What this means is that we disciples, thank God, are not called to produce forgiveness. We’re called to pronounce that which has already been produced on the cross. We’re called to open the locks and throw open the door, and proclaim the good news that God in Christ will not abide the loss of even one of his own. What we find is that as we forgive others, we ourselves are freed. As you go to live and love in the world after Christ’s example, MAY THE GRACE, MERCY AND PEACE OF GOD…