9 Attempts at Getting a Life: Virtual Performance of a Physical World
A Mystory by: Samuel Scott Sloan
Dr. Ruth Larion Bowman CMST 3810 Louisiana State University A&M Baton Rouge, LA Fall 2006
Sloan - 2 Modest Beginnings Congratulations! You’ve decide that you’ve had enough of your old look and that it’s time for a new fresh style! Upon deciding to upgrade your looks, you’ll create a whole new identity for yourself. But there’s one important first lesson, NEVER LOOK BACK! Note: Keep a record of your progress. Purchase a journal or note book to keep you inspired with accomplishments and remind you of your goal. TAKE A PICTURE!1
FIGURE 1 All goal achievement begins with these three principles: - Evaluate where you are. - Determine your goal. - Decide the steps you need to take to succeed. Step 1: Where Are You Now. What am I starting with. Take a personal inventory of your current lifestyle and habits.
FIGURE 2
Sloan - 3 Step 2: Where Do You Want To Go. Where am I going? Now that you have decided which areas of your life are working and which need improvement decide your destination.
FIGURE 3 Step 3: Set a workable plan. How am I going to get there? Once you know where you want to go, you are more than on your way to getting there.
FIGURE 4 So, I’ll bite... I was beginning to grow impatient with the slow pace of progress my physical life is taking so it’s “time my fingers did the talkin.” After much suggestion and huzzah by my friends, I joined a place billed as “a 3D digital world imagined, created and owned by its Residents,” and with “over 1,565,715” residents, I am told that I will
Sloan - 4 not be starved for attention.2 So, without hesitation, and a mere ten dollar deposit, I explored the depths and heights of this virtual universe for two years. I learned how to build, how to make my avatar, my body in the world, more and less like myself, how to role play, how to fly, how to love, and how to live in a world fully constructed by myself, and hundreds of thousands of Others. I witness animals dressed as people and people as animals. There are casinos and sex shops and skydiving and scale recreations of ancient monuments, virtual call girls and the men controlling them. There is land to buy and apartments to rent; there were public spaces and private art shows. I witnessed the currency used in the game, the Linden, get tied to the US dollar; I saw live audio and live video introduced into the world with a boom of DJing and dance parties. There are bodies within and without which perform acts that their creators, in their real lives, would be too afraid or too unskilled or too tied to their own physical reality to execute. There were a hundred million signs of life and not a single drop of blood, except that which might be scripted to drop from a player during a session of sword fighting. These residents were being things and doing things which were impossible or improbable or wholly UNrealistic; because within this toy box of technological fantasy lay art, creation, and representation. Above all, there were people doing what they normally do: constructing themselves through clothing, through the art they create, through the vehicles they drive, the land they own, their attempts at being famous by looking like a supermodel or attracting attention with an outrageous character, all the while putting their art and themselves on display. This made me wonder... What is that character I create in the virtual world? What is that one I make in the real world? Is it a Freudian reflection of my subconscious desires? An outgrowth of who I am in reality? Or is it something else, perhaps more undefined and multiple?
Sloan - 5 In an environment where four years can equal a lifetime in terms of computer technology, I was shocked to find that the work of Sherry Turkle, the noted “cyberanalyst” and digerati3, which is based on her experiences with text-based virtual worlds, still applies to the world of Second Life ten years later. Turkle’s text-based worlds, often referred to as MUDs or multi user dungeons, are essentially any virtual space or virtually created world shared by multiple users, and Turkle describes involvement in MUDs as “collaboratively written literature,” and that “participating in a MUD has much in common with script writing, performance art, street theater, improvisational theater-or even commedia dell’arte.”4 Through observing these and other worlds, I have come to define the “user” as a sort of artist, the corporeal body behind the keyboard who is participating in an act of creation or deconstruction with the user’s virtual created self (or selves) defined as an “avatar(s).” Originally, these MUDs, were mostly text based; however, more recently, there have been several fairly complex and immersive three-dimensional worlds. Once Upon an Avatar5 Once there was a little avatar. This little avatar had a big dream. He wanted to be the best shoemaker in the land, so every night he stayed awake to the wee hours of the morning, powered by energy drinks and leftover bread. He learned how to make all kinds of shoes, how to edit the prim, the basic unit of all objects in the world, in order to make the most stylish shoes that ever existed…
He made up the shoes, and worked on his back. He made them in yellow, and he made them in black. He put the pieces together, and that was a fact! He made the shoes
Sloan - 6 in green, the pair matched with a sheen. In all different colors and even in white, the shoes fit the people, and were NEVER too tight! Well, the little avatar, he made himself a shop. He opened the window and cleaned with a mop. “Shoes for five Linden,” he said with a stop, and the people came in and they ate them all up.6 But a business next door moved in with a rush, and it came with a man who came with a brush. His own shoes he made in a style so much the same, the first guy was angry, he said, “This is lame!” For the new guy it seems entered the sim with his very own dreams.7 He put down his two-hundred and said with a gruff, “My own business I’m opening, I’m sorry, life’s tough!” The little one frowned and stomped his feet loud, he shouted from the rooftop, above all the crowd, “This man is a charlatan,” he said as he screamed,” “he stole all my business, he ruined my dream.” But the new guy just laughed and said with a smirk, “That guy is crazy, I think he’s a jerk.” All the people in the crowd, they seemed to agree, and left the first man and started to flee. They fled to the new shop with shoes all the same, “half price at Benjie’s, ‘cause the little guy’s just lame.” The first man came down and went into his store, he deleted his objects - he wanted no more. He sold all his land and left in a hurry – to a place far away, away from this worry. The moral of this story, I have one, it’s true. No matter what you’re selling, even a shoe, they’ll will steal your dream, but to your sole, you’ll be true. Just heed my warning and don’t be a jerk, don’t shout from the rooftops about your great work. For the community seeks the humble, it’s true. And what must be remembered, if your dream is a shoe, then “half price at Benjie’s” will always beat you.
Sloan - 7 A game? Do you honestly think this is A G A M E? Radio Man:
And we’re back, it’s 10 after the hour, live on KOW FM, the COW! Talking to James and Jamie, the campus tech gurus about virt-ual worlds, virtual? What is this, this Se-cant Life? And what was that who’s a what you were talkin’ about?
James:
Well, we were talking about different virtual worlds. You know, there’s a big difference between the levels of user involvement in these different virtual worlds. While most virtual worlds have a social element to them with a sort of inherent identity creation, some, like Second Life, are entirely user-created, with every detail of every building and every avatar, that’s the person created in the world, created by some user behind the visual display of the character on the screen.
Jamie:
That’s right James, but there are many other worlds, such as World of Warcraft, with over four million participants, where users are able to change a few elements such as their avatar’s race (you know, things like elves, dwarfs, and humans), skin color, their gender and their class, but the environment of these worlds remains largely pre-created or “pre-rendered” so the world has existing locales, specific ways to battle, and intricate character development that are all pre-made by the game’s creators.8
Radio Man:
So all these guys playing this game, they are in an identity crisis?
Jamie:
Well no, I mean, I use Second Life. The people are usually pretty level headed – it’s just a place to meet people, and even make some money selling things you can make in the world, but you know, that is interesting
Sloan - 8 what you said because most people in the world are.. guys. I heard as many as sixty-percent are male.2 Radio Man: Jamie: Radio Man: Jamie: Radio Man:
So, are there any women in these places? Well IREAL women? *AHEM* Well, I am a woman. I see that…. So tell me James, is there anything else to this- what’s the point of all this?
James:
Well, while you can argue that in any world of this nature, just as in “real life,” social behavior, thought, and talk by the users defines the world’s purpose, Jamie is right: Worlds such as World of Warcraft are often viewed more as “games,” with some idea of a purpose or of “leveling up” along a predetermined path, whereas a world like Second Life might be viewed as a “real life” simulator in that, you know, class distinctions, jobs, and looks are not given to you on any sort of tidy list, and the user must create them based off of imagination, personal desire, and a continuing view of other people and how they function in the world.
Jamie:
Right! It might sound boring, but it’s really fun if you get into it.
Radio Man:
Well I’m not sure… I think I’ll stick to my TV for now. Survivor is enough simulation of real life for me. HA! Well, that’s James and Jamie, folks, the campus com-put-ter goo-roos, check out their column in the University Times!
Jamie:
Yeah, every Wednesday and Friday…
Radio Man:
Well, that’s it for the Radio Man, stay tuned for Shika’s Social Hour, followed by smooth jazz on through the night. I’ve got light rock coming
Sloan - 9 up for your evening commute or your dorm room stereo, It’s university radio, KOW FM, the Cow! WOW, What the Heck Are You Doing?
FIGURE 5 In my various travels into virtual worlds, both text-based and in three-dimensions, I found the expression of self to be performed most visibly in worlds: which are fully customizable, where identity is enciphered through exploration of character, and where the rules of the game are created, expanded, and broken by a collection or community of users. In these worlds I find that it is possible to most fully simulate and escape my real body. Here I could see a “culture of simulation,” as Turkle asserts, “When we step through the screen into virtual communities, we reconstruct our identities on the other side of the looking glass,” and that the resultant “reconstruction is our cultural work in progress.”9 So to me, Second Life appears as a playground, a sandbox where elements of identity and culture can be written, performed, amended, and destroyed with both metaphor and simulacrum, addressing my concern for and discontent with everyday life. Things to Do: -Make a new Second Life account. -Edit my avatar. -Meet some people in Second Life -Ask these people what they are doing in Second Life.
Sloan - 10 -Eat some sushi. -Sleep… -Talk to more people.
“How should I make my body?” and “Why does that question even make sense?”
FIGURE 6 In the act of creating a character for the purpose of questioning others, I found my own self to be questioned. Should I represent myself or some Other? Last names in Second Life are chosen from a list of predetermined names, so without the possibility of complete reduplication of real life and with privacy issues, I chose a similarly alliterative name to my own, Seneca Sontse. Since previous years’ attempts at avatar creation had been completed to produce a form unlike myself, I decided that for the purpose of my inquiry, my own body should be reduplicated, and it was done with some great precision as the appearance editor is quite robust.
Sloan - 11
FIGURE 7 However, at first, I could not decide on my clothing. As Kaja Silverman, in her “Fragments of a Fashionable Discourse,” attests about Lacanian theory, I felt as though I were a child in the “mirror stage,” beholding my created self for the first time and setting my image in accordance against or with the appearances of Others, who, in my case, are the Other residents of Second Life. Moreover, this realization made me very self aware of the constructiveness of my appearance, with Silverman continuing to state that with this “function performed by the gaze of the Other,” as with my meta-awareness in this case, “the subject [myself] sees itself being seen.” Continuing on in “Fragments,” Silverman discusses: …I would feel impelled to stress as strongly as possible that clothing is a necessary condition of subjectivity-that in articulating the body, it simultaneously articulates the psyche. As Freud tells us, the ego is “a
Sloan - 12 mental projection of the surface of the body,” and that surface is largely defined through dress.10 Suddenly, I flash back to The Matrix.11 Neo : Right now, we're inside a computer program? Morpheus : Is it really so hard to believe? Your clothes are different, the plugs in your arms and head are gone, your hair has changed. (Neo touches his head, finding his body to be altered) Morpheus : Your appearance now is what we call residual self image. It is the mental projection, of your digital self. Neo : This… This isn't real? Morpheus : What is real? How do you define real? If you're talking about what you can feel, what you can smell, what you can taste and see, then real is simply electrical signals interpreted by your brain. In Silverman’s case, she references Freud’s conception of the ego, the mind’s ultimate projection what it desires the body to be, to show how a conscious mind, through “mental projection” constructs its clothing choices; in Morpheus’s case, that same “mental projection” is an outline or memory of the body within the matrix, a computergenerated virtual world. With the former applied, Silverman is addressing quite literally my issue of not knowing what to wear when, as Freud might assert, my superego, a collection of inherited mores and social codes, fights with my id, the part of my mind which possesses the selfish interests of my personal preferences in clothing. The result is the ego expression, which unfortunately leaves me with ongoing unresolved conflict, the
Sloan - 13 root of my indecision in choosing a suitable garment to purchase or to make in the world and, subsequently, to display.12
FIGURE 8 However, in Morpheus’s latter paradigm, the “mental projection” serves as a nexus for body memory and may be visualized and likened onto a dream, whereby one finds oneself in a new environment, disconnected from the corporeal self with only a faint memory of the old body as a guide. As new and exciting situations and possibilities are found and perused in the dream, the identity of the self begins to change, chasing phantasms and the sometimes visualizing the apparent inconsistencies of unconscious desire, but however Freudian my discourse of dreaming may sound, Morpheus’s view of “mental projection” is quite different from Silverman’s in that the concept of self is no longer constructed, rather remembered. Moreover, This falls into the category of David Hume’s conception of impressions, wherein the experiences of the body, its sensations and experiences, are first perceived directly as “ideas,” and then, once stored in memory, those senses are subject to a “dying sensation” or “impression” which is no longer a direct experience but, rather, a recollection or memory.13 With this understanding, the conception of the body itself
Sloan - 14 begins to change or stay the same, depending on the strength and endurance of these impressions of body memory, and thus my clothing selection, since I am trying to duplicate my real body, is also shaded by the memory of my “real life” experiences with perceived taste and apparel.
FIGURE 9 Thus, as I examined several outfitters for suitable vestments, multiple discourses were simultaneously at work, and just as Neo’s clothing changes and evolves throughout The Matrix, from a basic reduplication of self in modern casual wear to his accepted charge and appearance as an urban revolutionary fitted with combat boots and weapons, my tastes too changed in a stream-of-consciousness while viewing different shops and Other residents, from modest casual wear to formal wear and, eventually, to dress of the ancient world, reflecting perhaps on a desire to seek wisdom whilst forgetting or transmogrifying any initial “impressions” of what “I” should look like. Prof. Higgenbottom: “Fursermore,” as Freud might say, zese choices of clothsing are often guided by fleeting avareness of affirmation or denial of ze ego identity, within vhich ze superego asserts to appear professional in order to give an interview and ze id combats with, taking note of impressions from ze real world which assert to ‘dress comfortably’ or to ask, ‘Vhy should you dress at all?’ ” The
Sloan - 15 overall effect on each person’s choice is maddening to intellectualize, with more diverse layers of discourse than could possibly be surmised and great disparity in choice of “costumes” to play out each identity in the world, though, at the time of choice, it often simply appears to be a decision of “vhat feels right.”12
Outside Myself14 As I sit there, mouse in hand editing my character to appear Roman – I look outside myself to see what kind of person I appear My Physical Body sits quiet patient staring ahead obedient, as if to some higher power
fixèd eyes staring into sinking skies flaccid
An occasional chuckle “lol” flashes A corporeally zombiefied corpse bound with invisible thread to it’s chair A dynamic anachronistic Classical walking Myth flies away.
Prof. Higgenbottom: From the side, he could be watching television, except that we can see his mind is engaged. Marx might think him a lamb - Ghandi would think him a lazy fool. His toil is for naught. This young man epitomizes Nietzsche’s nihilism to ze vorst extent. Notice the fixed eyes, the labor, the hours spent in front of the machine and
Sloan - 16 all for naught! He could be out vorking, perusing the boul-levard, but he sits, night after night, wasting his life away.
Sherry Turkle15 computer-mediated self fluid, in machine is transformed sexual an signifiers; follows and than [as find] in world MUDs [Second one, very] I who in relationship own
And so, I begin my quest…. Attempt #1: Looking Prof. Higgenbottom: Ah, yes, ze pan-opt-i-con. Jeremy Bentham, that’s B-E-N-T-H-AM, it’s Jeremy Bentham’s model of the prison, he felt that “power should be visible and unverifiable.” Michel Foucault discusses this in his “Discipline and Punish” where he asserts that due to the circular nature of the prison with a central watch tower, the prisoner is always seen and therefore, he acts just as he is always being watched even though a guard cannot be stationed at all times. In this way, Foucault lets us see society as the guard and all of us as the prisoners, so we always watch ourselves and what we do.16
Sloan - 17 James:
Wait a minute, Professor H.
Prof. Higgenbottom: Yes, James. James:
What about online? That doesn’t work… If someone is pretending to be someone else, there’s no accountability.
Prof. Higgenbottom: What are you talking about? James:
I’ve talked to several women in virtual worlds and they complain a lot about being hit on.17 They get these really inappropriate advances, and they also, and heck I also, see a lot of people doing things that they wouldn’t do in person.
Prof. Higgenbottom: Hm. James:
Well okay, well, so I talked to this one guy, right? He has a cheetah character on the Internet.
Class:
*snickers*
James:
SO ANYWAY, he also talks about annoying people who come in and make a lot of noise, “grievers,” he calls them, and that they come back again and again because there’s little stopping them, and when they get kicked out, they just try to open a new account as a different person. And well, he also talks about how he can be himself on line, cause you know, he says he’s gay in real life but only online can he dress and act that way, and well, only in the virtual world can he be a cheetah too - his online character represents his idea of his self better than his real self.18
Prof. Higgenbottom: Okay… So what does this have to do with Foucault? James:
Well I was thinking, if you’re not using your real body, you can’t be held accountable for your actions, so while people can still be
Sloan - 18 looking at you, they can’t really exercise any great power over you – you’re free from that panoptic thing. Prof. Higgenbottom: Hummph. James:
It’s like.. You’re finally free from being watched, you know, so your “self” on the computer can do what is most pleasing rather than what society thinks is most correct.
Prof. Higgenbottom: Yes, but the panoptic gaze still functions because I’ll bet that in the world you are talking about, there isn’t absolute chaos. James:
Um, yes. It’s pretty tame most of the time.
Prof. Higgenbottom: Well, you see, people still think they are being looked at, therefore, they act like they are, and even if the world were to plunge into chaos, as was in the West during the Early Middle Ages, if any social structure survived or was re-instated after a period of chaos, it would likely exist with underlings under the watch of the rich and powerful. James:
Okay, but I can still do anything I want online, and the worst they can do is delete my character. Then, I can just make a new one.
Prof. Higgenbottom: Yes well.. Anyway… Bentham was later embalmed and put on display so that he could attend lectures at University College in London, even in death.19
Attempt #2 Making Music The Empty Body Blues20 Can’t seem to get it goin, Your hometown scene’s a drag,
Sloan - 19 So you log up into to Another place21 And sell your old time rag, You dressin’ like froggy baby,22 You dressin’ like froggy baby, And you’ll neva live it down I say I found a lady 23 She’s settin them up with gigs, For thirty bucks a performance baby,24 I bet you’ll take a hit. You dressin’ like froggy baby, You dressin’ like froggy baby, And you’ll neva live it down.. From the first com-mercial artist,25 To the very last new-bie with gall, We set you up now with a stage, and the rest can have a ball.. They dancing like crazy, baby. They dancing like crazy, baby. But for Real, they can’t dance at all...26 I know what I envision I can see all the music in space. From Japan on down to New Orleans, We playing all over the place, and They dancing like crazy, baby. They dancing like crazy, baby. But for Real, they can’t dance at all... When we all can get together, In a space without space that we’ve got. We can dance a dance without bodies And play in a place that’s hot, ‘Cause I know you all been waiting, But that thing you been wishing is here. So tip your waitress one more time And she’ll bring you a virtual beer.
Sloan - 20 You dressin’ like crazy, baby. You dancin’ like froggy, baby. and if I could make a livin’ at this, I would cry. Oh yeah… Attempt #3 Dating Shika:
(Jazzy Intro) And it’s fifteen past the hour, time for Shika’s “Social Hour.” I’m here to talk about your issues, your wife left you.. your husband is cheating.. on your sister, whatever it is, I’m here to listen. And I’m sorry to say I’m not a licensed therapist, so if I tell you to jump off a bridge, you know, I’m kidding… Maybe. Remember the number is 555-1313, and it looks like we have our first caller, Susan, is that you on the line?
Susan:
*sighs* Hey Shika, I’ve got a problem. I think my boyfriend is cheating on me…27
Shika:
I’m sorry to hear that Susan - how long have you two been going out?
Susan:
For about three months, and it’s getting pretty serious now, I never get to talk to him anymore and he’s never online.
Shika:
Have you tried just going to see to him in person?
Susan:
Yeah, and he’s always so distant, I think he’s having cyber sex with other people on the Internet.
Shika:
How do you feel-
Susan:
GUYS.
Shika:
Oh…
Susan:
And I feel stupid. Am I not good enough for him, is he gay?
Sloan - 21 Shika:
Well, you know, that’s a very good question: Are you entitled to a having sex with people online-
Susan:
GUYS.
Shika:
..of the same sex, while still having a real live partner?
Susan:
I really don’t like it, but what I don’t like most is that he just never talks to me anymore. I mean I’m someone too.. Just because I don’t have a penis..
Shika:
Well, you know, the postmodernists might just see his identity as “fragmented and in flux,” but what I can suggest is to go to his house, meet him and person, sit down and talk about it.28 Just don’t avoid the conflict, or you’ll never be able to let go of the relationship. Well, does any one else out there have relationship experiences online, maybe some ideas about this? Shoot me a line at 555-1313. Looks like we got another caller, Josh, hello?
Josh:
Hi Shika, I just heard that woman talking about online relationships? Well, you know, I never really went looking for someone, but I found girlfriend online, and we dated for three years.29
Shika:
Uhoh, then what happened?
Josh:
Well, it didn’t work out, the distance, you know. She didn’t take much interest meeting me in real life, and when we did, we never got to spend any quality time. We’d also argue over little things.
Shika:
I’ve wondered, how long does it take to get to know somebody like that online, to be able to meet them?
Josh:
Well, it depends on the person, you know. You’re more limited, but it’s just as good as offline and more convenient too.
Sloan - 22 Shika:
Well, that’s interesting; I guess the psychological impact of having your significant other wholly absent from yourself causes you no mental distress or moral quandary. It’s simply a matter of convenience! Well, I know what Freud might say, but personally, I think you might just need to be grounded. Try a real one next time, honey. Alright, 555-1313, we’re talking online dating, cheating, distance, Jamie, what’s your story?
Jamie:
Sheeeka! You know, I go on virtual worlds all the time, but I’m married though.30
Shika:
And your husband is okay with that?
Jamie:
Sure! That’s not why I go on. I just like interacting with folks… I can just interact with folks from all over the planet, without ever having to go visit. I hear some people bitching about this and that, but I say, “Just enjoy it,” or “go somewhere else,” it’s just a game…
Shika:
Have you seen anything interesting go on in there?
Jamie:
Sometimes it’s wild! There’s too much sex stuff here, though – I guess that’s a repressed society for you. I mean, some folks are here only for that. I don’t really get it, but to each his own – I think it’s a lot of kids doing that. There’s also a lot of dudes being girls here…
Attempt #4 Moneymaking The Profiteer31 Sometimes you think of her as a “doll.” Plugged in, and Just Barely Runnin Ivory soap to wash away the shame - Because Wheat bread would be too fancy for you Addicted to the serotonin high that is your Sex
Sloan - 23 but You control Her. Real dining, Red Meat Man An opulent feast for yourself, but none for your girl. A lioness, hungry, bringing food to her mate You make money off the woman, is it prostitution? Swiss cheese, full of holes, like your empty pocketbook Stylish dresses - Lavish Trappings An Enterprising Spirit – Just trying to get it Started Dancing for money to start a business. The Pantheon of a Rainbow hurricane A sight of a multiplicity Three pronged billows of White, yellow and brown When you pleasure yourself to the woman, is it rape? You Don’t have Sex with Others, just with yourself. Mea Anima, A Rational Soul?
Attempt #5 Puppeteering
FIGURE 10
Sloan - 24 Puppets32 So, does it feel like controlling a puppet? Yeah, actually because I’m making a graphical representation of a created character talk and act a certain way through my manipulations, and these manipulations are seen by the audience (anyone that can see my character in the game). Is it like controlling a puppet or is it different? No, it is an extension of myself, without a doubt.
Is it a puppet or yourself talking to me? That’s a good question. I guess it’s both… but more like me… but that’s only because I’m used to typing my words and thoughts b/c I was on the computer since I was a kid. When you play as a woman, do you feel as if you are controlling a puppet, or does it feel like interacting as yourself, is it any different from when you play as a man? And during sexual encounters? I have often discussed this with friends in SL [Second Life]. It seems to me that my perception shifts from that of controlling a ‘doll’ to that of being yourself, so it all depends on the situation. When I am focusing on my female character for example, whether during a sexual stimulation, or perhaps, when I am using her as a model for the shoes I make, and preparing to take photographs, then it seems to me that she is a doll. Sometimes it feels like you are controlling a doll, other times you can be focusing on other things, and forget really about the avatar, and it just seems like you are in the world. This is the same for me with either a male or a female avatar. It is a mixture of being yourself, and roleplaying someone else.
Sloan - 25 Attempt #6 Acting…. or Roleplaying? Let’s play “Six Characters in Search of a Script.”33 1:
Acting gives you the chance to realize a fantasy, something that you’ll never be able to do in life. Acting is an opportunity to influence and change events that you are powerless to change in real life.34
2:
Well, roleplaying to me is acting, because I'm writing a character that is usually different from me that I act for in a different setting than my own. A virtual community, however, is not acting to me, mostly because I am not very different from my real self there.
3:
It is not like acting in a play or a film, no. But it does involve acting at times, but so does the real world, we often 'act up' if we are trying to be funny for example. Being able to 'be' someone else however, probably is encouraged more in Second Life..
6:
There are people who make alternate selves.. I tend to stray away from such roleplay, because I find it destructive and shallow.. I'm more into personal interaction while using roleplaying to mimic actions I may do if I was there.
4:
The big similarity I find, though, is that emotions and delving into a character are just as real online or off. I have really gotten into some characters online and I loved playing them. I got actively involved in histories and behaviours and got really creative with it, and when something emotional happened with them I found myself actually feeling these emotions.
1:
Truth in acting can only be achieved by exploring a character’s inner spirit, which must be fused with the actor’s own emotions.35
Sloan - 26 4:
And that is always, to me, the thrill of acting, creating real emotions from imaginary situations. After all, that is why people enjoy theater, to receive emotional response from a fictional production. That is often the barometer of a good performance, how much the audience is moved, and feeling those emotions as the actor can mean one step closer to really taking on that characters personality for the sake of the performance.
1:
You must live the part every moment you are playing it.36
5:
I say that those of us who develop and use these tools in the still-early days have the responsibility to make sure our work isn’t co-opted into some huge technopacifier.37
4:
At the risk of sounding creepy or insane, playing my personal character, well... It’s something I would gladly transform more into in real life because of the nature of it. Whereas, playing a different character that I am 'acting' as is just like, well... acting. At the end of the day when I am no longer that character, I step away from the history and emotion of that character and go back to being myself.
1:
Similarly, it seems that sympathetic patients in mental wards will sometimes feign bizarre symptoms so that student nurses will not be subjected to a disappointingly sane performance.38
5:
For some others, the online environment seems to promote them in a certain kind of functional schizophrenia as if logging in was like Clark Kent stepping into the phone booth. Having an alternate persona is part of the game and much of what if fun for them.39
1:
It will be convenient to label as “front” that part of the individual’s performance which regularly functions in a general and fixed fashion to define the situation for those who observe the performance.40
Sloan - 27 5:
Online systems attract independent-minded people.41
3:
I'd say roleplaying is more like interactive storytelling and acting is more like realizing a story, interactive/cooperative storytelling.
6:
For the people that try to roleplay stories, it usually doesn't work because they're only focused on their character and ignore everyone else. Their main responsibly is to themselves and not towards a story.
3:
I believe that roleplaying in SL would be a lot more fun than working on a film set. However, I do believe there are more experimental forms of acting which are not so limited by a text. I guess the scale is one of the freedoms of action of the actor but, I would think that the freer one is to act, the more fun it is.
6:
For me, it SL is different from acting because I am pretty much the same in both worlds. Acting: saying someone else’s words, SL: my words. It doesn't seem like there are that many steps to it, think and type.
2:
It’s different, at least, for me. Acting is playing a set role, but the virtual community is playing yourself... or how you wish you were, how you would be if you could.
5:
Unlike network TV or mass market magazines or even parts of other large online services, the information doesn’t flow in a top-down manner, but rather horizontally among the peer groups of the participants. I like to call it a People’s Think Tank… It appeals to people with active minds.42
Sloan - 28 Attempt #7 Pedagogy __________________________TECH NEWS__________________________ Universities Gearing up for Online Classes43 With James Kennan and Jamie Cartwright Something interesting I’ve found is that several universities are offering online classes and programs. What’s so special about that, you say? Well, these are conducted in a virtual world called Second Life. I’m not talking about sending your homework in over e-mail, this is an immersive, three-dimensional world where you can build anything and make real money too! Before you write it off as “lame,” just check out www.secondlife.com. Currently, schools are offering everything from classes in cyber culture to new media, game design, philosophy, theater, and even health care. Really interesting stuff! -JK-
I had the opportunity to talk with several educators about their initiatives this past weekend. These folks seem to be very enthusiastic about the interactive possibilities and the use of Second Life to study things like economics, since Second Life dollars also carry a real money value. There are several groups for teachers, and even middle schools are starting to use the program’s “teen grid” for teaching purposes. Since the program is very system intensive, classes often consist of projects done on the student’s own time, such as constructing a model of a Classical building for an architecture class, but lecture classes are also held with the students often times having to do no more than to wake up and log into their computers in the morning to attend class. More important and exciting possibilities may involve folks networking and organizing projects between
Sloan - 29 different countries and providing tutoring or advising to people in more remote locations. The synergy is incredible to think about, and the virtual world provides both streaming audio and video, allowing professors to lecture, perhaps for the whole world to attend. -JC-
Attempt #8 Writing A Simple Conversation44 Tic-tack UhhhHH. *Blip!* Det dadada-dum Bip. Bap Det dadadada-da. Dack. Fessssu Swwwima Fessssu Swis Kik. Kik. Kik.
Barrraarartarrr Marrtimtimi Barmidad Metu a Festu Balaa Banaaa Mirwas nawiastemme…. Kikky.
Fessssu Rooomlutututu Wessuwessafesssssa Pickitoo-kka! TickaTickaTickaTicka Bap Befesstu-Dada! TickaTackaticka… Swis Bem Uh. dack.
Bam Rikitikka ticka TACKATAKCY, TACKA TACKA BAM! mmmnn. Des ticky ticky tickky tic a tack… a DELETE DELETE DELETE
Sloan - 30 TICKY TACKATACKA BAM. Mn. Demafo caaka, demasa. *Grrrinkle ba Bip ippp ippp!* Denaka naka naka Tacka tacka tickyticky Bep. Tacka Tic. DELETE DELETE TackaTackaTICKYTICKY, BEM! Swis Tacka tacka, tuckatuckatucka, Bep. TickytackaTicky DELETE DELETE TackyTickyTACKA…. Bep. Swweear, Karchink! Tacka Tacka TickyTicky Bem. –ppupung! Dadatata Euh.
Picikitoo-kka! Bem bem Tackaticky DELETE DELETE BAM! Squank-a ta ticka ticka ticka becky becky bam. Uhh. DELETE BAM!
Attempt #9 Breaking Out Grounded45 (A woman is sleeping in a bed, center stage right, and beside her is a manual wheelchair. Just right of center stage is a desk which has an open laptop. Running from this laptop’s display is a video screen or projection which the audience can clearly see.) As the woman begins to wake up, it is visibly obvious that she cannot move her legs. She takes off all the covers, folding them over neatly, then eyes the wheelchair which is about three feet from the bed, facing her.
Sloan - 31 The woman places her legs over the edge of the bed, positioning herself to jump over to it, and tries, pushing off with her arms. However, she falls flat on the ground, hitting the chair which then rolls along the ground, smacking into the desk which is slightly right of center stage. The woman then, by means of her arms and with the greatest effort, pulls herself across the floor to the wheelchair, and then she tries her best to get into the chair. Once she is seated, she is breathing rather heavily after the ordeal but lets out a little chuckle. She then flips out the foot rests, each with an audible metal report, and she places her feet in each one with her hands. Then, she turns the wheelchair around, and logs onto Second Life on the computer while the display power for the screen is activated. The audience can only see her body and the laptop from the side, but they can easily see what she is doing on the computer via the screen. When she is finally on, her character is seen, sitting down in a chair. She then sees a man who waves to her. The woman’s virtual character stands and walks over to him, crossing stage right to left in order to preserve continuity of space. They embrace then kiss, and she has a smile on her face because this is her boyfriend. The two walk over or teleport to an empty beach, and she sets the lighting within the program to appear as a sunset. The lights on the physical stage then go out sequentially, first by the bed, then over the woman, then over the screen. After this, together, the man and woman fly, first just hovering over the ground, then off into infinity, and all we are left with is the real body of the woman, smiling, lit by the glow of her laptop, and the large screen which also fades out.
Sloan - 32
FIGURE 11 Conclusions As I unpack my travels, I have seen artists, people able to connect in ways not before possible with a live performance that bears all the immediacy of traditional theater and the corporeal vicissitudes of life. This feat is achieved by having their virtual bodies close in proximity to each other whilst mediating the contents of their minds via their corporeal bodies which are interacting with a machine, a computer which allows for those fantastic representations of self along with a tight entanglement of personal identity and Others. What do I see? There may be a rock concert where someone, corporeally unable to walk, steps up out of their chair to dance, to perform with Others to live music of a favorite band. Then, the character flies around them, entangling the dream world of mind with a representation, albeit virtual, which would not be achieved otherwise. I also see people, afraid to stand in front of a crowd, who loose all fear when they are mediated so that the process of an explicit performance (e.g. acting, dancing, or making speeches and music) is democratized whereby the shy or the anxious are able to perform with these tools of mediation, of presentation, of representation, and of realization of a vision.46
Sloan - 33 However, much is lost in that mediation: subtleties of language, though they can be approximated; other senses (corporeal tangibility, smell, and taste), though there are ways they could integrated; accountability, though it can be simulated; and immediacy, or realness, which can be feigned. Unfortunately, there is a factor of realness which will likely always be lost due to the virtual nature of the world, it’s fundamental purpose as simulation, and even though whole lives can be conducted in the virtual world, they will always be confined to a mental realm as dreams or phantasms which, though they may be confused with the real world or alter perceptions of what is real, they will always be mediated reality. Over time, I found that some people believe that the process is simply too much work, too time consuming to re-learn how to communicate, how to make things, how to make oneself. I also find that I often, in the end, am left with a mere digital shell of myself, which is sometimes a puppet to control and sometimes an important extension of my body, an instrument. For instance, in the real world, if I were to imitate or to act as a classical Roman or as an animal, I would be feigning a persona to my audience who would be at all times conscious of the fact that I am not those things. However, in this mediated world, the audience’s very consideration of the mediation, the fact that I am already re-presenting myself as something more or less like reality, becomes the imitation, and donning a toga or an animal outfit within the world becomes “true” to the virtual world. Thus, in Second Life, I find that performance and the performance of the self is an invited and inherent feature which, though fundamentally different, often affirms and underscores the multiple methods and sites of performance in the physical world.
In Infinitatem47
Sloan - 34 Not reality Mental Recapitulated Hands Re-encoded Collective Unconscious Jungian48 Fantasy Dream Programmers49 Type, “Hello World.”
FIGURE 12
Sloan - 35
Notes: 1
Text, spell corrected, from: “Getting Started - 3 Steps To Your Personal
Makeover.” Create Myself. BARA Infosystems. 2005. . Used to highlight formal sources of identity creation in the “real world.” Fig.1
Self portrait. Personal photograph by author. Dec. 2002.
Fig.2
Self portrait. Personal photograph by author. Aug. 2006.
Fig.3
Altered graduation photograph. Personal photograph by Robert Sloan, doctored
by author, Einstein source unknown. May 2003. Fig.4
2
Hand portrait. Personal photograph by author. April 2006.
“Frequently Asked Questions.” What is Second Life? Linden Research, Inc. 22
Nov. 2006. . 3
Digerati, a member of the technological elite, discussed in:
Brockman, John.
Digerati: Encounters With the Cyber Elite. San Fransisco: Hardwired, 1996. 4
Turkle, Sherry. Life on the Screen. New York: Simon and Schuster Paperbacks,
1995. p.11-12. 5
A fairytale/poem adapted from a personal anecdote. Through buying and selling
items like clothing in virtual worlds, I’ve had firsthand experience in the power and problems of participating as an entrepreneur in a free market economy. Experiences poetically summed up in: Sloan, Samuel. “Once upon an Avatar.” 25 Nov. 2006. 6
Linden is the unit of money in Second Life, tied to the USD. Many Members of
the Second Life Community have been able to make or supplement income from this virtual and real economic crossover, discussed here: “Economy.” What is Second Life? Linden Research, Inc. 28 Nov. 2006. .
Sloan - 36 7
Sim is a unit of land in Second Life, equal to 256m x 256m or about sixteen acres:
"Inside Second Life: What's a ‘sim’?” The Second Opinion. Linden Research, Inc. 28 Nov. 2006. . 8
Population Statistics taken from: “Warcraft Census.” Warcraft Realms. 25 Nov.
2006. . Character information taken from: “Characters FAQ.” FAQ. Blizzard Entertainment. 25 Nov. 2006. . Fig.5
Fitzpatrick, Brad and Kit Pirillo. “Wife of Second Life.” Cartoon. 8 Aug. 2006.
bLaugh.com 25 Nov. 2006. . 9
Direct quote from: Turkle. 177.
Fig.6
“Vitruvian Sam.” Composite photograph by Linda Sloan, doctored by author.
Nov. 2006. Fig.7
10
Self portrait. Taken in Second Life by author. Nov. 2006.
Paraphrase and direct quote from: Silverman, Kaja. “Fragments of a Fashionable
Discourse.” Studies in Entertainment: Critical Approaches to Mass Culture. ed. Tania Modleski. Indianapolis: Indiana University Press, 1986. 142-151. 11
Wachowski, Andy and Larry, Dir. The Matrix. DVD. Warner Bros., 1999.
12
These concepts are best summed up throughout: Freud, Sigmund. The Ego and
the Id. Ed. James Strachey. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 1962. Fig.8
13
Self portrait. Taken in Second Life by author. Nov. 2006.
Hume, David. “Of the Origin of Ideas.” An Enquiry Concerning Human
Understanding. Ed. Tom L. Beauchamp. New York: Oxford University Press, 1999. 96100. Fig.9
14
Progression of Neo’s Clothing from: Wachowski et al. The Matrix.
Poem based on a reflection: Sloan, Samuel. “Outside Myself.” 24 Nov. 2006.
Sloan - 37 15
“Sherry Turkle.” Found poem by author, with the first two words of each three
eliminated (with hyphenated words counting as one), from a quote I wished to use from: Turkle, Sherry. Life on the Screen. New York: Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 1995. 15. 16
Included to show evidence and present a problematic discussion of the presence
or absence of the panoptic gaze within the confines of a virtual world. Bentham Qtd. and Foucault paraphrase, respectively:
Foucault, Michel. “Panopticism.” Discipline and
Punish: The Birth of the Prison. trans. Alan Sheridan. New York: Vintage Books, 1995. 195-228. 17
Responses from two participants summarized. Subsequent references will be
made to this study the author conducted, giving an in-depth interview to nine members of the virtual world Second Life inside that world where, while the participants were identified via phone to find any differences in real versus online identity, the study was ultimately conducted anonymously. Thus, no specific names were recorded and none will be given here, with the study being referenced as: Anonymous. Virtual Interview. 2-18 Nov. 2006. 18
Referring to a subject from: Anonymous.
19
Sweet, William. “Bentham.” The Internet Encyclopedia of Philosophy. 28 Nov.
2006. . 20
A Blues poem based off experiences with music in Second Life: Sloan, Samuel.
“The Empty Body Blues.” 28 Nov 2006. 21
Second Life
22
A reference to the Internet musician, Frogg Marlowe. He is one of the many
entertainers attempting to generate a following and seek venues within virtual worlds, particularly when local venues are not available for use: “Frogg Marlowe Creator Seeks
Sloan - 38 Virtual Fame.” 15 Nov 2006. Online Video. You Hear it First. MTV Networks. 28 Nov. 2006. . 23
Referring to a person who organizes large events, such as musical ones, in Second
Life, interviewed in: Anonymous. 24
The amount Frogg Marlowe is reportedly paid per gig, from: “Frogg Marlowe
Creator Seeks Virtual Fame.” 25
The first commercial musician to perform in Second Life is reported to be Susan
Vega. Many question and speculate about the possibilities of commercial entertainment enterprises function in virtual worlds and what their limits should be. Furthermore, it is also questionable whether or not signed solo artists should be able to make such appearances as described in: Wright, Rob. An Audience with Susan Vega. 3 Aug. 2006. Blip.tv Video Blog. 28 Nov. 2006. . 26
Reports from several interviewees show that there is often great disparity in
dancing ability online and off. Yet, as many people are uncomfortable with the latter using their real bodies, dance parties which use pre-scripted dance moves and virtual bodies are extremely popular in Second Life: Anonymous. 27
A relationship re-written from the woman’s point of view, from: Anonymous.
28
Tracy, Karen. “Talk and Identity.” Everyday Talk. New York: The Guilford
Press, 2002. 17. 29
Paraphrased and Qtd from: Anonymous.
30
Same as above.
31
Sloan, Samuel. “The Profiteer.” 28 Nov. 2006. A smoke poem re-composed with
questions, based on someone from the anonymous interviews. This was included in order
Sloan - 39 to delicately show the existence of virtual prostitution and question the gender politics involved when real men can prostitute themselves and others as virtual women. Fig.10
32
Self portrait. Taken in Second Life by author. Nov. 2006.
A series of questions, in interview form, Qtd. and reformatted with ideas which
question “virtual” and “real” identity emphasized by underlining them, from: Anonymous. 33
Obviously a reference to Six Characters in Search of an Author by Luigi
Pirandello, I had a small cache of quotes about acting and roleplaying I wanted to use, so I gave characters to those quotes and had them talk to each other. The quotes are all direct from their sources, except the ones from the interview, which were adapted to fit regular sentence form and spell-checked for coherence. Also, if a quote is not otherwise listed in this section, it came from the interview: Anonymous. 34
Formal acting techniques presented in order to compare and contrast them to
implicit and explicit performances of identity, with techniques from: Chubbuck, Ivana. The Power of the Actor. New York: Gotham Books, 2004. 266. 35
Stanislavski summarized in: Giannetti, Louis. “Acting.” Understanding Movies.
New Jersey: Pearson Education Inc., 2005. 293. 36
Stanislavski Qtd. in: Giannetti. 293.
37
A critique regarding the use of virtual environments as toys instead of genuine
learning modalities, from: Coate, John. “Cyberspace Innkeeping: Building Online Community. Reinventing Technology, Rediscovering Community: Critical Explorations of Computing as a Social Practice. ed. Philip E. Agre. and Douglas Schuler. London: Ablex Publishing Corporation, 1997. 187.
Sloan - 40 38
Presented as a contrast, looking at everyday performances of self with all of the
lies and deceptions that are inherent therein, from: Goffman, Irving. “Performances.” The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life. New York: Anchor Books, 1959. 18. 39
Coate. 175.
40
Goffman. 22.
41
Coate. 166.
42
Coate. 167-168.
43
Sloan, Samuel. “Universities Gearing up for Online Classes.” 30 Aug. 2006. This
writing is in the form of a newspaper column and is based on both my personal experiences with educators in Second Life and from comments in: Anonymous. Many universities are making use of virtual worlds for things like architecture classes which are aided by the program’s simple 3-D modeling tools, but educators remain skeptical if resource intensive programs like Second Life are viable when the entire student body may not have access to powerful computing devices. Furthermore, I used information from: Lester, John. a.k.a. Pathfinder Linden. “Campus: Second Life and Education – Spring 2006 Update.” Online posting. 15 Feb. 2006. Linden Forums. 30 Nov. 2006. . 44
Sloan, Samuel. “A Simple Conversation.” 30 Nov. 2006. Firstly, this piece is
based on a sound poem I wrote in Aug. 2006, entitled, “The Library’s Computer Room.” It is a commentary on the presence and absence of communication and noise. In a library or computer area full of activity, some of the most important communications are made often entirely without verbal sounds. Furthermore, I received inspiration from an article which discussed online writing, and led me to want to produce a soundscape of the physical world one hears when writing on the Internet: Lindemann, Kurt. “Live(s) Online: Narrative Performance, Presence, and Community in Livejournal.com.” Text and
Sloan - 41 Performance Quarterly. ed. Michael Bowman. 25 (2005): 354-372. Furthermore, in my questionnaire, several respondents felt that one of the most important functions of communicating themselves through text was the use of the delete key. With this tool, many felt that they were able to better project their identities and give a less impulsive performance of self than they would physically be able to do in their real life bodies. I found this inhibition intriguing as it allowed a person to more accurately gauge and censor a conversation, to better “perform” a desired role, through a mediated form. 45
A visual-physical poem based on a real person discussed in: Anonymous.
Poem by: Sloan, Samuel. 30 Nov. 2006. Fig.11
Visual Physical Poem Illustration. Drawn by author. 30 Nov. 2006.
Embedded with: Beach. Personal photograph by author. Nov. 2006. 46
All persons interviewed, including ones that have acting experience, stated that
they did experience a form of “stage fright” in real life when dealing with crowds or acting in public but did not or hardly ever experienced similar feelings when using a virtually mediated persona, from: Anonymous. 47
“Into Infinity” The last paragraph was composed and then re-written, using the
delete key to take out all “unimportant information.” 48
Participating in a virtual world can be a very dreamlike experience when the
world is constructed to be both a reduplication of and an altered form of reality. Often, one can look at such constructions as a collective interaction of the efforts of individual artists and people seeing interpersonal and interpersonal needs through the virtual mediation of the body. Carl Jung and his theories on the “Collective Unconscious” can be found in: Jung, Carl. Psychological Types. trans. H. Godwyn Baynes, 1923, Classics in the History of Psychology, ed. Christopher D. Green, 30 Nov. 2006. .
Sloan - 42 49
One of the first things a student learns to do in almost any computer programming
language is how to print to the screen or display the text, “Hello World.” Fig.12
Self Portrait. Personal Photograph by author. Nov. 2006.
