January / February 2016

www.asexuality.org

A newsletter for the community, by the community

Issue # 26

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Table of Contents 3 4-7 8 9-10 11-12

“Bringing Back the Past” ……. A letter from our editor in chief, by CosineTheCat

“Nostalgia” ……. A look at the history of AVEN, by Amcan

“#teamwhippersnapper” ……. What it’s like to be an asexual teenager, by SkyWorld

AVENues logo contest ……. An interview with the many members who submitted logos for our newsletter, by SkyWorld

Member Highlight: Skycaptain ……. An interview with a member of AVEN, by CosineTheCat

Open Mic

13-15 16 17 18

---- “Asexual: A Poem” by Allison Harmon, page 13 ---- “Deck of Cards” by Julianna Drachman, page 14 ---- “Inside the mind of a bookworm” by Amanda Fry, page 15 ---- Drawing by ratherdrinktea, page 15

Ace Moments ……. How awkward is it to be an ace? Read some of these stories and find out!

Asexy Puzzles – New vs. Old Word Search! Classifieds ……. Find out about other great ace networks!

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Bringing Back the Past AVENues is many things, but this edition of AVENues has a theme, Old vs. New. Asexuality, like many concepts, has evolved over time, and AVEN itself has grown. When AVENues was first published (September 27th, 2006), it contained a grand total of 5 pages. Major news in that issue was that the AVEN wiki was heavily under construction, and that the German AVEN was being contacted for television appearances. It also featured David Jay as the AVENite of the month, and he talked about why he started AVEN. A lot of things have changed since AVEN first started, and things have changed with AVENues as well. Although AVENues has never really been put out regularly (for a while it was put out on a monthly, to a bimonthly basis, then skipping for a couple months), it has always contained a lot of information and love from AVENites. Some of our longest running members on AVEN have been featured or have submitted articles at points in AVENues history, because of that, many of the authors in this edition are past contributors. I’d like to thank everyone who worked on this issue, AVENues would never have happened without all the help from the volunteers, editors, and content creators. AVENues is created by members, for members. If you’re interested in becoming part of the AVENues team contact one of the editors, or submit your piece to [email protected]. ~ CosineTheCat, Editor in Chief

Editing team Editor in Chief: CosineTheCat Layout: scarletlatitude Co-editor: Aqua-Ace Co-editor: Nai Co-editor: YinYangPandaMonster Creative team Nai SkyWorld kelico

Contributing Writers/Artists Amcan Julianna Drachman Allison Harmon Amanda Fry ratherdrinktea Special Thanks To: Interview: SkyCaptain Logo contest entries: Anonymous, Chemic, Serault, kelico

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Nostalgia By Amcan Hello Denizens of AVEN and readers of AVEN related publications. My name is Amcan and I am one of the site Admins (I mostly support lurkers in e-mail). I'm also one of the longest serving members of the Admod Team and I have seen much over the ten plus years I have been on the site. I've been asked to share a few stories so sit back and be amused by the thought of a penguin in a rocking chair going about 'back in my day'. I will warn you I get a bit philosophical toward the end, like an old person who remembers a time before man ever thought about stepping foot on the moon. My day started on 3 March 2005 when through a random few links via Wikipedia I ended up on AVEN. I was member number 3051 and indeed the euphoria over getting over 3000 members had not died down when I joined.

It's really hard to make it clear now but the sheer joy at 4000 members was incredible. There were screen shots, cake, and amazement that AVEN had grown so big so quickly. Remember, I was member 3051 in March of 2005. By late May 2005 we had virtually another 1000 members. Such growth had never been seen before on AVEN and it marked the start of AVEN's rapid rise to the massive site it is today. And note also how the most users online was about 38. Now there's 10 times that. That number would have exploded our heads back in the day. But not literally of course.

rd

AVEN was a very different place then. It was a different shade of purple and the forum was phpBB rather than the Invision IPB version we have now. If you want to see what AVEN looked like around the very time I joined check it out here: https://web.archive.org/web/20050306024526/http ://www.asexuality.org/discussion/ (5 March 2005) th

And here it is not long after I became a mod: https://web.archive.org/web/20050526032020/http ://www.asexuality.org/discussion/ (look Ma my name in lights, or at least internet archive terms – May 2005) This is also an iconic capture as it shows the moment we had 4001 members. That was the greatest milestone (until we had 5000, 10,000, 20,000, 30,000 and by that point we pretty much gave up celebrating member number milestones which is sad. Party at 100,000 anyone?).

AVEN was a different place back then. You could post in every active thread in every forum in less than an hour (depending on how much you were posting). You'd know pretty much every regular user and the majority on some kind of personal level. It was like being in a village. Or possibly the bar in Cheers. So when we went goofy, we went really goofy. Like the infamous Borg invasion which utilised my mad MS Paint skills and other members' better Photoshop skills. Then there were the purple bananas. Left on the corners of JFF they spawned a secret purple banana army (no, seriously, there were OMS shared and everything). And also a flag. And then there was the time the Admod team swapped avs for April fools (well a few of us did. And no-one really noticed. As pranks go it wasn’t the best). There was a community spirit on that old AVEN that's not possible these days. And that is a shame in some ways. And nothing helped that spirit more than the TOSsing. It seems odd to look back now on the infamous day that AVEN got TOSed (4 November 2006). We don't even mention it in hushed whispers th

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January / February 2016 which is a shame since what doesn't kill your asexuality related website makes it stronger and that was certainly the case when AVEN's host decided to...not host us anymore. Because the name of the website was aSEXuality.org (*gasp*) and you know we talked about sex, (though not in a pornographic way) and won’t someone think of the children?!? Our host changed their terms of service to make that not something (that being sex discussion) that could be done on their hosted websites any more. In these days of SQL errors it was hard to state the sheer god awful panic of “OMG AVEN HAS GONE OMG”, because it had literally disappeared off the face of the Internets. We got TOSed without any warning, like your landlord changing all the locks and spray painting your house whilst burning your furniture and making your cat run away. Luckily we had a temporary board. Not the temp board we have now but one called AVENites Unite! And unite we did under the banner of free speech and cake. We lit beacons and sent men on horseback across the plains to seek out our brethren and tell of them of the new port. Well, in reality it got linked in the asexuality Wikipedia page, we had a temporary page with a link to the temp board up and we MSNed and AIMed everyone we knew and because AVEN was such a close community back then it was literally 6 degrees of instant messenger. AVEN returned with a new host less likely to change their terms of service. There was a great feeling of community and determination forged in those dark days. There was a desire to make AVEN even better than it had been before. As a community everyone came together to keep the AVEN spirit alive and it was marvelous.

www.asexuality.org Hopefully some of that spirit still survives in the recesses of AVEN. Perhaps in the musty corners where in jokes long since lost to collective memory are side by side with arguments about what a non-libidoist is (with bonus discussion of unicorns). Of course in any community there is going to be issues and suffice to say the admod team has had many of them. There's been a lot of drama behind the scenes. There's been resignations, and infighting, and political bitterness. There's been implosions and explosions and stories that if dramatised would make a very weird lifetime movie. I don’t want to go into details here because there's a lot of history and context I cannot hope to fully illustrate, but suffice to say one thing remains constant and that is – we're here for AVEN. Also in 2006 (2006 was, like, the year for AVEN) the PT or Project Team was founded to give them their full title. I remember that debates about where the line between mods and PT was, what the differences were, and what fell under which banner. Many of the founding PT group of 2006 were also Admods which did not help on the confusion issue, and probably led in part to the abandonment of the PT some months later. However you can’t keep a good idea down on AVEN and after a few more misfires over the next couple of years (not to say there weren't successes, there were but there were also questions and confusion over Admod and PT differences) in 2010 the PT as we know it today (well with several staff member changes) appeared and serves AVEN to this very day. And it continues to evolve, as we all do (like some sort of theory). By 2008 we had switched to IPS and I dare say for most members today this is how they remember AVEN has always been. It was bigger, better, stronger, faster, well it was something.

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January / February 2016 There were certainly more buttons and features though I do miss the old purple which admittedly was more of a pink. IPS also created the phenomena of chat. You may have noticed that I don't tend to go in chat. The reason being that back when I joined AVEN if you wanted to chat your best bet was a) MSN b) AIM or c) one of the unofficial chats that appeared on IRC channels (dear me hasn't the Internet aged in the last decade?). We did end up with an affiliated though off site chat although there were questions regarding this. Luckily IPS gave the option of an integrated chat and, well, it’s been there ever since. It has provided instant connection for AVENites and several Admods began their AVEN journey there. To me it's a strange place where I don't speak the language, and it has been since its inception. But then I could never get emoticons to work on AIM so it might just be me.

www.asexuality.org the tiny village I arrived AVEN is now a vast sprawling metropolis. And yes I learnt my lesson after Oldies and realised that new forums weren't bad things because they served the community, a community that is ever growing, AVEN also began to give rise to spinoff forums. Former AVENites created other avenues as it were for asexuals. From other board based communities to a dating website and blogs. Some still live, others died, but all contributed to the presence of asexuality on the Internet and it’s kinda cool that AVEN was the spark for so many. Things seemed to accelerate after that. The first few years I was here on AVEN seemed to last an age, and then suddenly the last seven have propelled us onward with great speed. It's like those early years were prehistory and since then we've had the renaissance, the industrial revolution and the space race all in one.

Not only did we have chat but we also increased the number of forums. I will state now that I am 33 that I can well see the irony in my being against the Oldies forum when it was proposed. In my defense back then Older Asexual was generally understood to mean 40 or 50 plus and there weren't many asexuals of that age. But we did things the right way, we got the feedback from the community and the idea was put into action. I have never been gladder to be wrong about something (except that time when I thought the sky was falling down).

Suddenly media coverage took off. We would always brace ourselves whenever AVEN or asexuality got exposure (reading cake and answers in equal measure). I can only applaud the AVENites who appeared on the venerable media stage and did AVEN proud. We often forget that AVEN stands for Asexuality Visibility and Education Network. Well unless we look at the banner at the top of the forums which is probably often but, you know.

Since then we have added many more forums to the collection. The forums now cover everything from information to elections to tea and sympathy and celebrations, from romantic questions to intersectionality. If AVEN were a house its market value would surely have gone up with all these new extensions. I am still awed by the fact I have to scroll to see all the forums we now have. From

It's really hard to describe how exciting it was to see David Jay on The View via the power of YouTube (mostly because we'd only had YouTube as a platform for less than a year). Then there was the brilliant 20/20 segment starring David Jay, Cate Perfect, Live R Perfect, GBRD143, KBRD143 and winter. That TV segment brought in so many new members looking for answers and really propelled the idea if asexuality forward. You could barely move in the Welcome forum for new

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January / February 2016 introductions. I still think this was the peak of media exposure for AVEN because it was the first time asexuality got a platform (do check these segments out on YouTube if you can they are worth doing so). Also people I knew were on the telly. Asexuality may be more visible across all of the Internets, Tumblr, Reddit, wherever else it is the cool kids hang out these days, but AVEN is still the first port of call being as it is the flagship (can it be a port and a ship? I think so). Education can be tricky. No two asexuals are the same (unless they are indeed literal amoebas) and we all have different lives and experiences. One can argue that over the years with all the changes and additions AVEN has got away from the core of what it used to be – Asexuality Visibility and Education. I know there are valid criticisms of AVEN across the Internet regarding

www.asexuality.org its core purpose, how it teats asexuality, the way that discourse goes on. Indeed I do often get nostalgic for a simpler time when AVEN was still that village I arrived in. But despite the fact AVEN will never be perfect, that perhaps it will never again be what it was ten years ago, I can say with all honesty that AVEN will evolve, will expand and change, and will continue to be a place where people come for their answers. The future of the community lies within us all. So join me for a metaphorical toast to the last decade and the decade to come, AVEN is what you make it and whilst for a while I helped make it a place of purple bananas, Borg invasions, and somewhere a Minotaur would serve you cake, AVEN has always been so much more than that. Hopefully it is for you too. May the cake be with you. Always.

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#teamwhippersnapper “You’re too young.” “You’ll grow out of it.” “It’s just a phase.” I wish people would be more creative with their dismissive tone with asexuality. It’s usually always the first phrase people would say when someone would bring up asexuality. The odd thing is, it seems that no matter how old you are, people would still come up with some excuse that you cannot identify as asexual. Yet if someone would say that they’re heterosexual, there would be no questions asked. Most people figure out their sexuality during puberty, though it’s perfectly fine to be questioning and there’s actually a lot of people who are questioning. I’ll freely admit that yes, as an asexual teen, a lot of teenagers are out there trying to figure themselves out. They may be experimenting and trying new things to see what feels right to them. Though, I must ask myself, is the journey to self-discovery a never-ending story? People change consistently in various ways throughout their lives and always taking those small steps to figuring everything out about themselves. Yes, it’s possible that in the future I might no longer identify as asexual for whatever reason; however, right here and right now, I know for sure about myself that I have yet to feel sexual attraction or desire for partnered sex. Unlike most asexuals before they come to terms with their identify, I never actually felt like I was broken. I thought that I was already strange enough as is, but my sexuality (or lack thereof) had nothing to do with it. I thought that everyone was like myself and that society and peer pressure would “demand” for them to have sex. I still think that’s somewhat true. In high school, you wouldn’t be cool if you were still a virgin. I never understood why that is… Why does someone have to have sex to be “complete” or “accepted”? It shouldn’t matter what I do and don’t do with my life. Although, from my perspective as an asexual teenager, the biggest issue for me is my social life. Most of which all kids my age talk about is sex… all the time. It can be frustrating when there doesn’t seem to be a conversation about anything else, and when there is, it always seems to go right back to the topic of sex. It can be pretty lonely because I do not relate to anything that they feel or experience and I feel so isolated. After being introduced to asexuality from a friend and research in my own time, it was awesome for me to eventually come across and meet the asexual community on AVEN. There are many people who understands what it feels like and it’s amazing to no longer feel alone. ~ SkyWorld 18

Drawings by SkyWorld

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Logo Contest Inspirations Article by SkyWorld AVENues has returned to the community, and the first step for its comeback is a new logo that matches the freshness of this newsletter's resurrection. In October of 2015, there was a logo contest hosted where members would submit their logo designs to be voted on by the community. The winner’s design would then be the new logo for AVENues! It was a tough vote. All the entries were marvelous in their own unique way. We have asked the members who have submitted their designs what inspired them to create such fantastic logos. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Anonymous: “My confession is that I'm not actually an AVENite. I was browsing the forum reading some great articles when I saw the call for a logo design. I like designing logos, so I thought I'd play around with some ideas and offer them to the community. I wanted to incorporate the meaning of "Avenues," as in streets. Avenues are where we're societally directed to move, often by street signs, often in one direction. But embracing alternative sexuality – at least to me – is much more about chaos, confusion, and finding alternative paths. Conventional street signs don't help; we're going off the path; we have to make our own rules, and forming an alternative community is about making a new order out of that chaos. So I wanted to depict alternative street signs, and these signs spoke to me: one is branching off into many directions, one is looping back on itself, one is tied up in knots, another is so radical it breaks out of its sign (and points to the letter "u," which to me suggests personal involvement and finding one's own identity). The overall theme I was going for is "there are many avenues / directions you can take." I think the colors of the asexuality flag are incredibly strong and beautiful; I like how shades of gray are depicted, and a variation on purple. I experimented with putting the colors into the words, but the white stripe made it hard to read. I tried several typefaces ("Avenir" would have been cute) before settling on Syntax – it's friendly, bold, a modern sans-serif with slanted edges. Anyway, I don't think my idea resonated with the community, so that's important feedback. But I had a lot of fun making it, and thanks so much for considering it.”

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Chemic: “I wanted to create something that portrayed a lot of information while, at the same time, didn't try to overload the person looking at it. In the end, I settled for the concept of having various words in the background that are used throughout AVEN to describe the community.”

Serault: “I wanted to create a design that was easy to read while maintaining some character and had all the information necessary for a newsletter. I chose a serif typeface to make it feel more like a newspaper and integrated ace/aro colors to be a bit more inclusive in the design. I got my idea from looking at newspaper pages mostly, trying to emulate that for a digital newsletter.”

And last but not least, we have our contest winner, kelico, telling us their inspiration! kelico: “As boring as it sounds, I came up with the idea after reading the contest submission rules! The AVEN triangle and/or ace pride colors needed to be incorporated, and I immediately saw the AVEN triangle as the 'V' in AVENues. I wanted to stick with AVEN's color palette for the text and flag, even though the purple on most ace flags is a different hue. I felt it would bring it all together and really brand it for AVEN. I had so much fun designing the logo. It was wonderful to be able to contribute the skills I have to a community I love so much!”

Everyone has done such a fantastic job! Hopefully they will consider submitting more of their artwork and designs for future AVENues issues to share with the community.

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Member Highlight: Skycaptain Interview by CosineTheCat Cosine: Hello Skycaptain and welcome to everyone reading this article. Today’s guest is Skycaptain. Skycaptain is an active participant on AVEN as many of us know; you’ll often see them floating around AVEN in JFF or the Arcade. They’ll almost always have a kind word to say, and is our first Member of the Month for AVENues! Skycaptain: Hiya, Cosine, thank you and all the rest of the crew for choosing me to be the first participant in the AVENues review. Cosine: How did you find out about asexuality? Sky: So, here we go. How did I find out about asexuality? Quite by chance, as it happens. January 2014 was a month that I wish on nobody. It combined insomnia, panic attacks, weight loss, irrational behaviour, and a massive period of searching in the wrong direction for answers. Ultimately I ended up on the floor of my doctor's surgery, crying my eyes out and saying that "I need help, I just cannot carry on like this". The end result was that I was referred for psychiatric assessment and ultimately counselling. Somewhere during this process, (I cannot remember exactly when but I was realistically Non Compos Mentis at the time) asexuality was mentioned. I thought this through, talked through everything with my counsellor, including my intact V-card, and asexuality ergo AVEN was mentioned. Cosine: How long have you been a member of AVEN? What’s your fondest memory of AVEN? Sky: I joined AVEN on 17.07.14. I won't say what is my fondest memory, because that belittles the community. More positive is what AVEN has given to me, and how I hope to reciprocate. To be informed that asexual is a genuine orientation,

and that I am not alone. Hooray, suddenly nearly 30 years of lying to everyone, including myself can be atoned for. All the years that I pretended to be cis-hetero male, no matter how much physical, emotional, and psychological harm it had caused, here was a release to say that I was miscast. AVEN has, through meet-ups, given me a totally new social life. This may sound odd, or it may, hopefully connect with many fellow members, but prior to meets, how many times in my adult life met with people for a drink, for a picnic, to see a museum, to have a meal? Exactly none. Now I meet people most weeks, and really look forward to doing so. Not to do with the interview directly, but this explains exactly why, despite being demoded, correctly, for disciplinary reasons I want to go back, and hold nothing against the Admod team. Not to put too fine a point on it, without AVEN I genuinely doubt whether I would still be here, and I owe this community, your good selves, a debt of honour that there is no way I can ever repay. Cosine: If you could have any type of pet, what would you have? Sky: Over the years I have had Terrapins, Giant African Hissing Cockroaches, Guinea Pigs and Rabbits. I want Cats next and hope to acquire a couple in the new year. Cosine: What do you wish people knew about asexuality? (Or what is a misconception about asexuality?) Sky: I wish that people understand that it is an orientation. We really need for people to differentiate between sexual dysfunction, sexual desire, and sexual attraction. We all know the "You've never met the right person", or "Honey, I've a tool that can fix anything" clichés, but we have only found ourselves here having discounted all differential diagnoses. Ultimately what we see

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in our fellow human beings is not a sexual opportunity, but the opportunity for friendship, companionship and empathy.

we don't know". As a 43 year old who has never been in a sexual relationship they had worked it out before I had even heard of asexual.

Cosine: In real life (off of the internet), what do you do for fun? Sky: I read and collect medical textbooks. I play cribbage and golf. I have a veg patch in the garden. I have a classic car, BabyBenz , a 1984 Mercedes 190e.

Cosine: What do you think is a good reference for people who want to know more about asexuality but are not comfortable with online forums? Sky: Julie Sondra Decker's book, and Anthony Bogaert's book. To be fair I have not encountered asexuality anywhere else.

Cosine: If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why? Sky: The Alps because they are the best childhood holidays. A cheap one here, but any AVEN meet anywhere, anywhere north of the Arctic Circle because I love snow and Ice, but hate hot weather. Cosine: If you have come out to friends and family, how was it taken? Sky: I have come out to everyone I know. The universal response has been "tell us something

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Are you interested in being interviewed for AVENues? Do you want someone to be interviewed for AVENues? Drop us a line and tell us who should be next up! ([email protected])

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Open Mic Coming Out as Asexual By Allison Harmon This weekend I came out As asexual. My best friend said "That makes sense I never saw you Having sex anyway, You're just too awkward." My mother said "Oh you're just Too young. When You meet the right guy Your feelings will change." My ex-boyfriend said "But how can you Not want to fuck someone? That's impossible. You have hormones, You're going to Want to fuck somebody Eventually." What they don't understand Is that I didn't choose this. I'm not happy that Most people will run from me. I'll probably end up alone. I didn't choose that. I didn't wake up one day Deciding to make my life Miserable.

Is that I'm still capable of love. Just because I don't want some Sweaty body pressed against me Or some foreign bodily fluid Inside my own clean body Does not mean I don't still want to be loved. I still want love. I still want romance. People don't understand That asexual Is not atypical. Love is not defined By sex. My worth isn't validated By my promiscuity Or my sex life. What's wrong with wanting love In the innocent way? What's wrong with wanting Cuddles and hugs and Lifelong love? Just because my body is still mine Doesn't mean it can't be loved by another. Just because I don't yearn for sex Doesn't mean I don't deserve to be loved. Asexual Is not synonymous with Atypical Nor is it synonymous with Abnormal or Abomination or Anything but "loveable". I am asexual And I wouldn't have it Any other way.

What they don't understand

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Deck of Cards In a deck of playing cards, an ace is the lowest number – a solitary figure representing the number one. The symbol stands alone, just as I do. I am a solitary ace, the only figure in my life with this identity. I am an ace of hearts, full of love to give, and filled with the memories of the love I have given away. I stand tall with this symbol identifying me, calling other aces to come pair with me, to make a match. Even just one would be enough to Go Fish and win this game. But I stand alone. I have other cards supporting me, holding up this card house so it doesn’t collapse. But their faces are different than mine. I have a beautiful King leaning against me, our flimsy bodies equaling out to hold each other up. I have a couple of Jokers in the middle, keeping me sane with their light-hearted presence. I seek them out in times of sadness. At the base are my number cards, in order, the highest values doing the most work to help me stay on top, to not fall down and be crushed by the weight of it all. But among all those cards, each with their purpose in my life, the only ace is me. I feel so alone – I just want to look out and see a familiar pattern before me, but it’s not so easy. Because in a deck of cards, an ace will come up 4 in 52. But in the real world, they are only 1%. So I’m forced to remind myself that an ace can mean something else – it may be the lowest number, a solitary figure, but in the game of War, an ace has all the power. In the game of War, the ace wins. The player hopes for an ace, because it’s the only thing that can defeat all other cards. I may be alone, but I have power. I am unique, and I can win this game. One day I will be found in the middle of this deck, and I will mean something important. I will take this special trait I have and use it. And if I’m lucky, I can find those other solitary figures swimming in the Go Fish pile and we can make a pair, or we could even make our own pile. A pile of aces swimming together, so we can find our way. ~ Written by: Julianna Drachman

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Inside the mind of a bookworm People are like books Some are damaged beyond recognition Yet carry a richer story Many look perfect But tell a dull tale Many fit under a category Some continue a series While others are just themselves Whilst others create their own Many are judged by their covers Without a bother of a second glance But the more chapters spent on the cover The less of a story it will become The beginning may not start well By the middle it may feel like the end But the earlier you end the story The more exciting chapters you will miss out on And no matter how you’ve started it The ending can still be spectacular

~ Drawing by: ratherdrinktea

~ Written by: Amanda Fry

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Ace Moments Being an ace can be incredibly… awkward. Here are some real life situations that AVEN members have been through.

'I remember once watching a film with my mum where there was a 'morning after' scene, and the lovey-dovey couple not-so-slyly insinuated that they hadn't had much sleep the night before. I turned to my mum and asked, "Wait... So what were they doing all night?" I don't think I've ever seen her look so awkward.' ~ Miala

'I have big hands- it's all proportional, but in the game of "Whose Hand Is Bigger?", I beat every girl I know. While hanging out with some friends, I remarked on the small size of a friend's hands. She retorted that the smaller your hands are, the better sex you have. "Well, hot damn!" I said, looking down at my hands. "No wonder I'm asexual!' ~ eralkfang

'Phone conversation between me and a friend. Him: You know the guy Deep Throat who outed Nixon? He got the name from a popular porno at the time. Me: What? I thought it was because he had a gravelly voice. Him: No, it was the name of a blow-job porno. But you wouldn't know that, you're "[my given name] No Gag Reflex [my surname]." Me: Actually, I think I have a gag reflex, it's just very insensitive. Him: Oh, so you've been experimenting. Me: Yeah, see, a few nights ago I ate way too much for dinner and...*it hits me*...oh, fuck you.' ~ you*hear*but*do*you*listen

'I was in a panel for a podcast recording and one of the panelists referred to his "better half". Now, I do get it that it was a reference to his girlfriend and I'm aware of the saying, but I strongly reject the idea that either gender would be some way "better" than the other. But I think cats are pretty great, so I decided to interpret it wrong to demonstrate my different way of thinking about things by saying: "I didn't know you had a cat."' ~ henrik

'Me (causal): I don't want to have kids until I've been married a few years, so I don't think I'll have sex until then. Dad (bluntly): Well, no, you'll have it on your wedding night. Me (appalled, worried): What? Do I have to? Dad (reassuring and trying not to laugh): No, of course not. But you'll want to by then.' ~ TheLocalCrazyCatLady, age 12

'I don't have that many ace moments (I actually have one of the dirtiest minds of all my friends, go figure) but recently I was taking one of those silly Facebook surveys, and one of the questions was, "Do you think guys are hot when they sweat?" Slightly confused, I typed as my answer, "Likely hot, though stress or anxiety could also make one sweat." After posting the survey, it suddenly clicked what that question had actually meant. ' ~ inmysilence

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January / February 2016

www.asexuality.org

Classifieds Ace Gamers Network is an asexual and aromantic friendly gaming community. Based on the original Asexual Gamers Network which didn't last long, we offer a safe community for asexuals and our allies to discuss games, find new gaming buddies and organise matches. We also offer MineCraft and Team Fortress 2 game servers for our members and have plans for more, so there are plenty of ways to engage with others. Unlike most forums, we don't have a spam-bot problem and so far our uptime and server performance has been excellent. AGN can be found at http://www.acegamersnetwork.com

Do you have an advertisement you would like to add to future issues of AVENues? Send us the info at [email protected]! *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Our theme for the next issue will be "the Cultural Significance". If you're willing to contribute, please submit a piece that's 500-1000 words long about how your culture has affected your views on asexuality. You're still allowed to submit anything you'd like to AVENues, such as original written works, artwork, or other creative pieces; it does not have to be related to the theme or be in paragraphs of words. You can submit to [email protected] or submit a response through the Google form. (To see the form, scan the QR code or go here: https://goo.gl/IseSTx)

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