Bob’s Burger Spec "GOOD IDEAS"

Donovan Feuring

[email protected] 647.453.6154

TEASER INT. BOB’S BURGERS. RESTAURANT-- DAY Bob yawns, lazily wiping a dish-rag across the burger bar counter. BOB Jeez, where is everybody. WIDER ANGLE The restaurant is completely empty. No customers, no family. BACK TO BOB Bob sits down on a bar stools. It squeaks, sounding very loud in the vacant restaurant. The silence is broken by a faint buzz. Bob perks up. FOLLOW a fly as it skirts around the restaurant, eventually landing next to Bob. LOOKING UP FROM THE FLY’S PERSPECTIVE BOB That’s more like it... BACK TO BOB He grins at the fly. BOB (CONTINUED) ...a challenge. Queue wild west showdown music. Bob squeezes his dish-rag, spins it around, and holsters it into his apron. He stares, unblinking, at the fly. CLOSE ON BOB’S EYES. He stares, unblinking, at the fly. BOB (talking tough) Your move, tough-fly. CLOSE ON THE FLY Fearless, it buzzes its wings. BACK TO BOB

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His fingers hover next to the dish-rag, ready to draw. CLOSE ON THE FLY Its wings vibrate fast, its about to make his move. CLOSE ON BOB’S EYES He squints, zeroing in on the kill. BACK TO THE FLY The fly suddenly twitches, coughs, and slowly keels over dead. BACK TO BOB BOB (angry) Oh, come on! He tosses his dish-rag onto the counter. BOB (CONTINUED) I was really looking forward to swatting you. Bob slumps back onto the squeaky stool. Squeak. BOB (to the stool) Shut up. WIDER ANGLE Bob swivels around, depressed, as he surveys the completely empty restaurant. Angrily, he climbs to his feet. BOB This is ridiculous where are you, customers. It’s 12:30-- on a Saturday! Bob walks over and looks out the window. BOB Somebody really important better have died in a really tragic way. And everybody better be at home crying about it. He opens the front door and steps outside.

3. EXT. STREET-- DAY ANGLE ON BOB BOB (CONTINUED) (unpleasantly surprised) So, not that. ANGLE OF THE STREET The sun is shining and the street is bustling with happy, smiling people. PUSH IN all the way across the street to JIMMY PESTO’S RESTAURANT and a huge line-up of people. OPENING CREDITS BOB HAS STEPPED ONTO THE STREET. BOB A line-up?! Are you kidding me? (to the people lined-up across the street) Hey, we’re open over here! You could, like, immediately have food! ANGLE ON THE LINE-UP-- FAVORING AN AVERAGE LOOKING GUY AVERAGE GUY No thanks, we’ll wait. The rest of the crowd turns away, not engaging Bob. INT. BOB’S BURGER’S. RESTAURANT-- DAY Bob slams the door closed. Louise is trying to squeeze past him to get outside. BOB Oh no, where do you think you’re going, Louise? LOUISE Have you been out there, it’s magical. BOB Yes, I saw the magic, but why isn’t it...in here. FAVORING LOUISE Louise inches towards the door.

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LOUISE (laughs) Yeah right, good one...This is where magic comes to die. WIDER TO INCLUDE BOB BOB That’s ridiculous. LOUISE (points to the dead fly) You see that dead fly over there. BOB I do, but if you’re going to imply that fly is somehow-LOUISE Magic, yup. Your hands are covered in dead magic fly blood. You’re a monster. BOB Louise, it was a fly, and I’m not a monster. It died on its own. I didn’t even get to kill it. LOUISE Sure. Sure. Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night, bub. FAVORING LOUISE She tugs on the door. The doorbell jingles. BOB You’re not going anywhere. WIDER TO INCLUDE BOB Bob pushes the door closed. The doorbell jingles again. LOUISE (angry) Why not! BOB (yelling) Because I have a very important announcement to make.

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END TEASER ACT ONE INT. FAMILY KITCHEN--DAY Bob marches around the kitchen table with a purpose. Linda, Louise, Gene and Tina are seated. BOB People, we have a very big problem. TINA Is it about becoming a woman. Because that’s where most of my attention is right now. BOB No, Tina, it has nothing to do with you... (uncomfortable) ...becoming a woman. It’s about there being no customers downstairs. GENE What are you talking about that place is packed! BOB No, Gene, it’s completely empty! GENE Here? I thought you said Sea-world. Gene pulls out his keyboard and hits a key that plays a dolphin laugh. LINDA Don’t worry, Bob. Things’ll pick up, they always do. BOB Not good enough. If we’re going to pay the rent on a regular basis we need the place to be packed or at least not ghost-town empty. LINDA So what’s the announcement, Bob?

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LOUISE Yeah, get to it, we’ve all got places to be-TINA I was going to stare at the fry cook at the McDonald’s. The way he handles the salt shaker-- it’s hypnotic. BOB Tina, weird. My announcement is that you are all responsible for bringing in customers. Selling burgers is what pays for your-(points to Louise) bunny hats, and-(points to Gene) fart pianos. Gene hits the fart key on his keyboard. BOB Exactly. Which means-TINA What about me? BOB What about you? TINA What do burgers buy for me? BOB Oh...uh. You know, whatever it is... that you like...like puberty. The burgers buy you puberty. TINA (upset) I hate puberty. You don’t know anything about me. BOB I know you are not bringing customers into this restaurant. Now, I’m ordering all of you to come up with one good idea--a gimmick--anything that’s going to sell some burgers.

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LINDA Oooh, a challenge! BOB Yes. A challenge and whoever brings in the most customers wins. When we meet back here for supper, I want to hear your best idea. GENE What do we win! Is it a cash prize or a new car? BOB Uh... FAVORING BOB He thinks, trying to come up with a prize. BOB (CONTINUED) (lying) ...it’s a surprise. WIDER ANGLE Bob stares at the family, hoping they fall for it. They do. GENE A surprise! That could be anything! FAVORING GENE & LOUISE Louise stands up and pushes on Gene’s face. LOUISE Don’t even think about it. It’s mine. Mine! FAVORING TINA TINA It could even be a brand new dartmoor. WIDER TO INCLUDE BOB BOB That’s not some some sort of puberty thing is it?

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TINA It’s my favorite breed of pony. Bob leans over to Tina. BOB Okay, Tina, I’ll give you a hint-the surprise--It could be a horse... but don’t get your hopes up because it’s definitely not a horse. WIDER TO INCLUDE THE ENTIRE FAMILY GENE It could be ten horses! TINA (hopefully) Could it! BOB No, Gene, it couldn’t. GENE 1000 horses! BOB Gene! Cut it out. It is no quantity of horses. Now get out of here, and stop thinking about the prize and start thinking about how to get more people in here. INT. BOB’S BURGER’S. RESTAURANT-- DAY Bob serves Mort the mortician a burger. Mort takes a big bite out of the burger. MORT I’ve got just the idea for you, Bob. A groupon! BOB A groupon, that sounds like a made up word that couldn’t possibly help me...and kinda makes me want to punch you in the face. MORT It’s the newest rave. You sell people your product at a big (MORE)

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MORT (cont’d) discount online. It draws people into your restaurant. You get great exposure and can up-sell the extras. BOB They buy the burger without actually coming in here? MORT Yup, they pay online. I put one up a few days ago. 50% off a Cremation. Sold 200! BOB Really? MORT Yup, and the cremation market is very competitive. BOB That’s genius. Thank you so much, Mort. This is the best idea ever. And now I don’t have to come up with a stupid mystery prize. This is gonna bring tons of people in. MORT Glad I could help. Just make sure you fill the coupon out right. If your deal is too good, it could bankrupt you. BOB Of course, what do you take me for, an idiot? Mort shrugs his shoulders and takes a bite of his burger. INT. GENE’S ROOM--DAY Louise paces back and forth. Gene sits on his bed with his keyboard in his lap. LOUISE Its gotta be something good. Something we all want. Something we need.

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GENE I have to think it’s gold or possibly gold encrusted. Gene hits a button on the keyboard making a whale blow-hole sound. GENE (CONTINUED) Or, maybe it’s freedom. LOUISE Freedom! Freedom from the grill? Freedom to roam the streets whenever I please. Freedom... to be free? GENE Could be... or maybe it is a 1000 horses. Louise grabs Gene by the collar of his shirt. she’s a little worked up. FAVORING LOUISE LOUISE Stop jerking me around! If it’s freedom I’m free. If it’s a horse I ride it to freedom, but either way I’m getting out. WIDER TO INCLUDE GENE GENE Then shouldn’t you come up with an idea... if you want to win. LOUISE Don’t be silly. I’ll just attach myself to the best idea. FAVORING GENE GENE Great, my idea is a farting doorbell. Every time someone comes into the restaurant-Gene raises his eyebrow as he presses a keyboard button --making a fart noise.

11. LOUISE I really hope Tina comes up with something better. INT. MCDONALD’S-- DAY SLOW MOTION PAN UP from the burger as it is flipped. The fry cook’s uniform is too snug, his nipple are poking through. His badge glistens in the greasy florescent lights. Acne and grease are caked across his freckled face. He grabs the salt shaker and scatters salt across the fries. Hypnotic. ANGLE ON TINA She stares peering through the window. Her breath is fogging the glass. EXT. MCDONALD’S-- DAY Tina steps back from the window. TINA Eureka! INT. GENE’S BEDROOM--DAY Louise & Gene on the bed. LOUISE Or, Mom, I’m sure she’ll come up with something great. INT. BASEMENT-- DAY Linda is digging through a box in the dimly lit basement. She laughs maniacally, pulling something from the box. We only see the silhouette of the item. INT. FAMILY KITCHEN--EVENING Linda holds roller skates above her head triumphantly. LINDA Huh? Huh? WIDER TO INCLUDE THE FAMILY Bob sits closest to Linda who clockwise sits next to Gene, Louis, Tina. They all stare, confused.

12. LINDA (excited) Carhop! The family doesn’t react. LINDA Come on, everybody. Carhop! I roller skate burgers to people at their cars. GENE Am I the only one confused. I hope I didn’t catch Tina’s autism. TINA No, I’ve still got it, although we did share licks of the same creamsicle. FAVORING BOB & LINDA BOB Kids. No. Do not share licks of anything-- that’s wrong. And Linda, no offense, but that’s a really terrible idea. LINDA Bob, it’s a great idea. Everyone loves a carhop. BOB Yeah, maybe in 1950’s hot rod movies, but nobody does that anymore. It’s stupid, and our restaurant is on, like, a street-there’s no parking. LINDA (slightly offended) I’m doing it, whether you like it or not. BOB Fine, whatever, James Dean. Kids what did you come up with? But, I should just mention that I have come up with an unbeatable idea, and you’ve already lost. WIDER TO INCLUDE BOB & THE KIDS Louise jumps out of her chair and rushes over to Bob.

13. LOUISE We sure did, go team! BOB Nice try, Louise, but you’re not on my team. Tina, Gene, what do you got? TINA IGene interrupts with his keyboard and a cacophony of sea-world noises. BOB I’ve been meaning to ask you, Gene, when do you go to sea world? GENE School field trip. BOB Oh, cool. GENE It was cool. BOB Great, I want to hear all about it after you tell me your awful ideas. GENE Fart doorbell! BOB Expected. (turns to Tina) Tina? TINA I don’t have an idea, but rather a question? Louise sees an opportunity to get in on her idea. LOUISE Yes, indeed we do. Go ahead, team mate, ask him our idea. TINA Thank you. (to Bob) Why don’t we have uniforms?

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BOB Your idea is uniforms? LOUISE That’s right our idea is uniforms. Suck on that. BOB We don’t have uniforms because that’s the reason I opened this place. We’re family run, not some heartless corporation, you know? Uniforms are for losers. TINA I like uniforms. They’re sensual and constricting and all the real restaurants have them. BOB Real? We’re real. We’re not getting uniforms. GENE UNIFORMS!!! LINDA Bob, uniforms are a great idea, they’d go great with carhop. BOB No. No. No. No Way! GENE (starting a chant) Uniforms!! Uniforms!!! LINDA (starting a different chant) Carhop! Carhop! BOB Cut it out! LOUISE Yeah, cut it out. BOB Thank you. LOUISE I was talking to you mustache. I’ll grab the sewing kit and we can get (MORE)

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LOUISE (cont’d) cracking on the new uniforms. Definitely gonna bring in the most customers. Can’t wait for that secret prize. BOB You all have terrible ideas. And, I’ve pretty much already won the secret prize. LINDA We didn’t even hear your idea. BOB It’s great. It’s an online coupon. People buy our burgers for cheap, and they come in and eat, and then they like our food, so they come back and eat at full-price. The family stares at Bob unimpressed. Gene plays his dolphin-laugh sound clip again. TINA I thought uniforms was a really good idea. LINDA It is sweaty, but Carhop is definitely the best of these ideas. BOB No. Nope. I’m gonna be the winner. LOUISE These uniforms are going to blow people’s mind-- Kapow--right out of their heads. TINA They will be spectacular. GENE Yeah! Gene plays the fart clip again. BOB Alright then! Starting tomorrow, it’s on!

16. END ACT ONE ACT TWO INT. BOB’S BURGER’S. RESTAURANT-- MORNING Bob, smiling, sets down a burger in front of Teddy. In the background we can see the"Burger of the Day" sign reads WWW.BURGER.COM/KETCHUP. Teddy hands Bob a coupon. BOB Thank you, sir. Enjoy the burger and we hope to see you again. Bob stuffs the coupon into his apron. TEDDY (smiles) ’course you will, Bobby. I bought fifteen of these babies. I’ll be here all day. BOB Hmm, I guess I probably should have limited it to one per customer. Probably explains why we sold 700 of them. Oh well. TEDDY You sold 700, that’s great! BOB I know, right, it’s awesome. And You don’t have to use them all today, they don’t expire. TEDDY Sure they do, you made the expiry date tomorrow morning. BOB I did what now? TEDDY Take a look at the coupon. Bob pulls the coupon back out. BOB Uh-oh. That’s today’s date. WIDER ANGLE

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Gene exits the kitchen to join Bob & Teddy. GENE Can I go now, I want to help with the costume. BOB I think it’s a uniform, not a costume, and no, I need you on the grill. GENE I think they changed it to costume. TEDDY (to Gene) Busy day ahead of you, little buddy. You said you sold 700 coupons, Bobby? Bob has a freaked out look on his face. GENE Are we going to make 700 burgers today? I’ve only made one and I’m pretty tuckered out from that. ANGLE ON THE RESTAURANT ENTRANCE The restaurant door opens and Linda clumsily roller skates in. She’s sweaty and breaths heavily. LINDA Teddy! You could have stayed in your van. I’d have brought your food out. CROSSCUT ANGLE ON BAR WITH BOB, TEDDY & GENE TEDDY That’s okay I like talking to Bob, and I had to park like three blocks away. LINDA So did this nice elderly couple. They’re very excited for carhop. By the way, Bob, two specials and two drinks.

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BOB Get on that Gene. GENE Okay, but I’d like to further discuss my fart doorbell. BOB Focus on the burgers, Gene. Your idea was by far the worst. Gene retreats back into the kitchen. We hear the sound of the grill sizzling. FOLLOW Linda as she joins Bob & Teddy at the bar. BOB Uh, Linda, I might have messed up my coupon. LINDA Bob, what did you do? TEDDY He sold 700 burgers. LINDA (excited) Oh? That’s really good. FAVORING BOB & LINDA BOB It’s good, but we-- theoretically-have to make them all in the next, like, 24 hours. LINDA Bobby, I don’t think we have enough meat for 700 burgers! BOB You should probably take the skates off and start grinding everything in the freezer. GENE (O.S.) Order! LINDA ’kay Bob. Let me carhop those specials out and then I’ll get grinding.

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WIDER ANGLE TO INCLUDE TEDDY TEDDY Hey, Bobby, can I cash a couple more of these guys in? BOB Sure thing, Teddy. BOB Two more burgers, Gene! Bob hands Linda a tray with the two burgers & drinks. LINDA back in a jiffy FOLLOW Linda as she skates with the food over to the door. She has trouble opening the door, looses her balance, and her feet zip from under her. She painfully crashes to the floor. The food is splattered across the roof. Bob rushes over. BOB Linda, holy crap, are you alright? LINDA I’m--ow! Linda tries to stand up, but can’t put weight on her foot. Teddy makes his way over, chomping on a burger. TEDDY Looks like a sprained ankle to me. Linda rubs her wrist. LINDA And a sprained wrist too. Bob helps Linda up. She hobbles on one foot, leaning all her weight on Bob. The door jingles ANGLE ON THE DOOR A small crowd enters the restaurant. CROWD (Walla) BACK TO BOB & LINDA

20. They force smiles. BOB Welcome...I assume you all have coupons. (turns to kitchen) Gene, BURGERS! INT. BEDROOM- DAY Bob stands next to a bed-ridden Linda. Her foot and wrist are wrapped in ice packs. BOB You’re sure you can wait to go to the hospital? LINDA It’s just a twisted wrist and ankle, I’ll be fine. Go make burgers. BOB Thanks, Linda. FOLLOW Bob as he rushes out of the bedroom, he stops at Tina’s room. INT. TINA’S BEDROOM-- DAY Tina is wearing a skin tight, flesh colored unitard, and a pantyhose on her head with the face cut out and two black eyes sewed on the top. LOUISE It needs to be smoother, and tighter. TINA I agree with everything you’re saying. ANGLE ON BOB BOB I thought you were making a fast-food uniform. LOUISE We were, but then we decided every fast-food dive has a uniform--we need a mascot.

21. WIDER ANGLE ON EVERYONE BOB We have a mascot-- it’s a burger-Gene wears it everyday. LOUISE Way too on the nose. BOB So, what’s this? TINA This is my third favorite animal. BOB Are you that dunce more horse or something? TINA Dad, it was a dartmoor pony, this is heterocephalus glaber-BOB Tina, I don’t have time for-TINA (upset) It’s the naked mole-rat. You don’t know anything about me. Tina throws herself on the bed and thrashes. FAVORING LOUISE & BOB LOUISE (sarcastic) Jeez, Dad, I can’t believe you didn’t know that. Oh well, we’ll head down and help you with all the orders. BOB Oh no, I forbid that costume from coming anywhere near anything. It’ll scare AND CONFUSE the customers. WIDER ANGLE TINA (very upset) Dad!

22. BOB Get out of it and get downstairs. We’re already way behind on orders. TINA But, if I get out of the uniform I’ll be completely naked. BOB You’re naked under that? Bob and Louise slowly back away from Tina. ANGLE ON TINA Tina buries her head under a pillow. ANGLE UNDER THE PILLOW TINA (pleasantly surprised) Hey, it’s not bad under here. INT. BOB’S BURGER’S. RESTAURANT-- EVENING The restaurant is now completely filled. Bob serves burgers to a large line-up of customers, handing them each a plate with a burger on it in exchange for their coupons. BOB You’re doing great, Gene. Keep it up! INT. KITCHEN-- EVENING FOLLOW a bead of sweat as it rolls off of Gene and sizzles on the grill. WIDER ANGLE ON GENE He’s wearing only his underwear, is very, very sweaty, and looks exhausted. He presses the spatula onto a burger, making it sizzle. He scoops it up onto a bun. GENE (exhausted) Order. Gene dings the order bell. He reaches into the freezer for another beef patty-CLOSE ON an empty freezer.

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GENE Uh-oh. DAAAAD! Gene grabs his megaphone. GENE (CONTINUED) (megaphone voice) We are out of cow! I repeat, out of cow. END ACT TWO ACT THREE INT. BOB’S BURGER’S. RESTAURANT-- EVENING ANGLE ON THE FRONT DOOR More people enter. FOLLOW Bob as he passes the entrance carrying a large stack of plates. He passes the counter where Louise is ringing orders into the cash register and taking more coupons. She looks agitated. Bob drops the dishes off behind the the bar. Teddy is still sitting there. We hear a cow MOO from Gene’s keyboard. TEDDY Out of cow? How are you gonna make burgers without cow. BOB We are not out of cow. ANGLE ON BOB He wipes the sweat away from his face with his apron. BOB (CONTINUED) We’re just out of patties. We need to grind more meat. ANGLE ON TEDDY TEDDY Oh...so how long before I get a couple more of these. Teddy pulls out two more coupons.

24. WIDER ANGLE BOB Jesus Christ, Teddy. You are a fat pig. TEDDY I know, I’m glad to help. BOB How is that helping?! Bob shakes his head and turns to Louise. FAVORING BOB & LOUISE Louise looks exhausted and agitated. BOB Louise, keep things under control. I have to run-LOUISE (yelling) Cheapskates! They’re not adding a drink. They’re not adding a side. They’re sucking us dry! BOB Louise, calm down. It’s okay. LOUISE Okay? It’s okay to be sucked dry by leaches?! BOB I think you need to go to bed it is getting late. LOUISE (yelling at the customers) Leaches! FAVORING BOB He makes an announcement to the crowd. BOB (to customers) There will be more burgers in a few minutes. I apologize for the delay... and for her calling you leaches....although you could spend a few extra bucks.

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WIDER ANGLE ON RESTAURANT Bob leads Louise upstairs. The crowd, including Teddy, boo. INT. STAIRWELL-- EVENING Louise stops walking and looks to Bob. LOUISE (whispering) The prize...was it freedom? Bob lifts Louise up, and carries her up the remaining stairs. BOB Uh...no. The prize was getting to go to bed and not making 400 more burgers. LOUISE So...I won? BOB Sure, Louise. You won. Louise is satisfied and falls asleep. INT. BEDROOM- NIGHT Linda is snoring loudly in bed. Her foot and hand are still elevated and wrapped in melted ice packs. Drool drips from her mouth. Bob drops the meat grinder and a bag of meat on the bed, waking her up. ANGLE ON BOB & LINDA LINDA Oh, hi, Bob. Did you close up yet? BOB No, Linda, it looks like I’m pulling an all-nighter. I need you to grind burgers, like 400 of them. LINDA But, my wrist is sprained. (looks to the meat) And, there’s no way we could get 400 burgers out of this.

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BOB Improvise or something, I don’t know, just make it work. Have you seen Tina? I need someone to run the counter. LINDA She’s in her room and still very mad at you. She’s been making odd noises all night. BOB Fine, I’ll go see what I can do about that, you start grinding. FAVORING LINDA Linda, using only one hand & her teeth rip open the bag of meat. She starts to load the grinder. INT. TINA’S BEDROOM--DAY Bob enters the room. BOB Tina, I need you to--what the hell? Bobs stops in his tracks. ANGLE ON TINA’S BED The bed is covered with a large pile of pillows and blankets. The top half of Tina’s head peaks out from under the mound. She’s still wearing her costume. BOB You’re still wearing that? And what’s with the bedding? Where did you get all these pillow? TINA (muffled) It’s my mole-rat burrow. BOB What? Tina pushes her entire head out of the mound. TINA It’s my mole-rat burrow!

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Bob realizing he’s got to deal with this situation, sits down on the edge of the burrow. BOB Your three favorite animals are horses, cows, and mole-rats. Why mole-rats? TINA Mole-rats feel no pain. BOB Like emotional pain or physical pain? TINA Physical. BOB Really, that’s...actually pretty cool. Tina gets excited that Bob is interested in this. She squeezes a bit more out of the mound. TINA I know. There were test done where acid was poured onto mole-rats, and they didn’t even notice. BOB Acid, wow. Did the mole-rats die, or-LINDA (O.S.) Bob! Meat! BOB Look, Tina, I’m sorry I thought your idea was stupid. And I would like to hear more about the mole-rat...later. But, right now I could really use your help down there. What do you say? TINA Can I wear my uniform? Bob is conflicted. Tina smiles, desperate for approval. Bob has no choice.

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BOB It’s really more of a costume, but, fine, just this once. TINA Thanks, Dad. Tina wiggles all the way out of her burrow. Bob sniffs the air. BOB Wow, you’re really smelly. How long where you under there? TINA Since you yelled at me. BOB Are you serious? That was like six hours ago. TINA I really like being a mole-rat. Bob puts his hand on Tina’s shoulder. They exit the bedroom. INT. BEDROOM-- NIGHT Bob stares shocked. BOB Linda, you look like a murder victim. ANGLE ON LINDA Linda and the bed are completely covered in blood and bits of ground chuck. She loads a pillow into the grinder with her face. Feathers from the pillow flutter about the room. LINDA (spitting feathers) The goose-down should make great burger filler. How are things with Tina? WIDER ANGLE BOB We worked things out, I sent her down to help Gene on the grill.

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Linda grinds the last bit of pillow & cow into the bag. BOB (laughing) These burgers are going to taste terrible. WIDER ANGLE ON BOB & LINDA LINDA Don’t be a baby. BOB These are seriously going to be the worst burgers we’ve ever served. LINDA they’ll be fine. Just add some extra spices. Oregano! Bob picks up the heaping bag of ground meat. BOB Thanks, Linda. ANGLE ON Linda covered in blood. LINDA Love ya. INT. KITCHEN-- NIGHT Bob rushes into the kitchen. BOB Gene?! ANGLE ON GENE He is passed out, asleep, on a few sacks of potatoes. Drool drips from his mouth. BOB (O.S.) Oh...you’re asleep. WIDER ANGLE Gene rolls onto his side, he won’t be waking up anytime soon. Bob realizes Tina is with the customers.

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BOB (worried) Tina?! Get away from the customers I need you-INT. BOB’S BURGER’S. RESTAURANT-- NIGHT Tina is at the cash register taking orders. A middle aged couple is talking with her. Bob watches from within the kitchen. MIDDLE AGED MAN Did you know the naked mole-rat has a very high-resistance to cancer? TINA I did, it’s totally cool. That’s why it’s my third favorite animal. MIDDLE AGED WOMAN It’s definitely in my top 3. TINA Did you know-Bob smiles and returns to the kitchen. INT. KITCHEN-- NIGHT Bob gets intense, approaches the grill & the terrible meat. PUSH IN as he cracks his fingers, dive-bombs them into the ground-beef, and skillfully forms burger patties. He lays them across the grill. ANGLE ON THE GRILL The burgers as they sizzle. Bob flips them with a spatula. FOLLOW the burgers onto buns, on plates. Ketchup drizzles across the steamy meat. The tops of the buns are flipped on. WIDER ANGLE Bob stands out of breath, but proud. He dings the order bell. BOB Order!

31. INT. RESTAURANT-- LATE NIGHT Tina grabs the first plate. Bob leans through the connecting area between the kitchen & restaurant. BOB (whispers) Give this to Teddy in case the meat is disgusting. Tina nods and serves the burger to Teddy. ANGLE ON BOB He watches with dreadful anticipation. ANGLE ON TEDDY He grabs the burger and takes a big bite. He chews, mulling over the taste. ANGLE ON TINA She watches nervously. BACK TO TEDDY He swallows and smiles. TEDDY Hey, Bobby, this is the best one yet! Two more! WIDER ANGLE Bob & Tina breath a sigh of relief. Teddy hands Tina two more coupons. Bob smiles at Tina BOB Great work, Tina! INT. BOB’S BURGER’S. RESTAURANT-- LATE NIGHT ANGLE ON THE RESTAURANT TIME LAPSE The busy crowd in the restaurant bit by bit dissipates until there is only Teddy left at the bar. ANGLE ON THE WINDOW The sun has started to rise.

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INT. KITCHEN-- MORNING Bob grills the final burger. He plates it and we FOLLOW Bob as he walks it around to Teddy. INT. BOB’S BURGER’S. RESTAURANT-- MORNING ANGLE ON TINA She has fallen asleep on the floor, and twitches like a sleeping mole-rat. Bob steps over her. ANGLE ON BOB & TEDDY Tired, but smiling, Bob, hands Teddy the burger. TEDDY My last one. I had a great time eating all night. Teddy gives Bob his last coupon. BOB I am exhausted. I’ve never made so many burgers in my life. TEDDY Didn’t get why Tina was dressed like a mole-rat, but people seemed to like it. BOB She saved my butt, that’s for sure. TEDDY You make a lot of money off this Bobby? BOB If by a lot you mean broke even...then no. But, I’m sure some of them will be back. TEDDY Yeah, that’s definitely a possibility. Hey, do you hear something? BOB Yeah, my bed. It’s calling my name.

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TEDDY Oh, I thought it sounded more like honking. EXT. STREET - MORNING A car sits alone on street honking. INT. CAR - SAME An elderly couple sits in the car. OLD WOMAN I don’t think she’s coming back. OLD MAN It’s carhop, dammit, is!

of course she

The old man slams on his horn again. END