DEAD BEAT DADS

Written by Sean Jaskiewicz, Mike Kintz, & Sean Taylor

Based on, "Dead Beat Dads," A short story by Sean Jaskiewicz

ii. 1950 W Warner Ave. Apt 1 Chicago, Illinois 60613 6309020151

INT. JAMES’ HOUSE - DAY. A new age alarm goes off until James smacks it quiet. He wakes up next to his wife. They kiss as his 5 year old daughter, Leah, bursts through their bedroom door. LEAH It’s my birthday! Mommy Daddy, wake up! Leah jumps on them in their bed. JAMES There’s my little monkey! Leah makes monkey noises. James laughs and picks her up and kisses her on the cheek and then plops back onto his pillow. LEAH Wake up, wake up! Wake up! KAREN Leah go shower, when you’re done I’ll have breakfast ready. Pancakes!

LEAH

KAREN Okay birthday girl, pancakes. Leah runs out of the bedroom and down to her room. Karen speaks to James without looking at him, while getting herself ready for the day. KAREN (CONT’D) Are you really going to miss another birthday James? JAMES Karen, I really don’t need this right now. KAREN Right, so Leah doesn’t have a father for her birthday then? JAMES Karen, I provide for the family so you don’t have to work. I’ve got a moonbounce coming for her and her friends and a clown. If I don’t work we can’t afford these things. (MORE)

2. JAMES (CONT'D) So can you just get off my back about this? KAREN Wow, James. JAMES Karen. I love you. And I love her. James looks at the clock. JAMES (CONT’D) Which is why I’ve gotta go. James kisses Karen on the forehead and walks to the bathroom to take a shower. Karen shoots him a look of disapproval. CUT TO: ADAM COMING OUT OF A SHOWER. INT. ADAM’S APARTMENT DAY. Adam walks out of the shower to Fortunate Son By Creedence Clearwater Revival playing in the background. He wipes himself off and checks his phone. “8 missed calls from ‘Dickhead Dave.’” Adam throws his phone onto his bed and turns up the music, while he starts to get ready for the day. Adam looks at his calendar, days are crossed off until a circled day. It reads, “Tommy’s First Game.” Adam throws on some work clothes and answers a phone call from “Linda Dat Baby Mama” as he walks out of his apartment. Adam answers his phone. ADAM Sup, boo boo? CUT TO: LINDA AND ADAM ARE ON THE PHONE WITH EACH OTHER, SIDE BY SIDE CAMERA SHOT. LINDA Nope, you can’t boo boo me anymore “Ex Boy Toy.” Linda is hipster 30 something year old. She has a nose ring and colors in her hair. She is calling to check up on her ex Adam. Adam walks around his apartment in a towel.

3. LINDA (CONT’D) Yo so look Adam, just checking in. Making sure you’re coming today. Game starts at 7. ADAM Yeah, yeah, yeah! Totally Linda, you know I’m down. LINDA Yeah… you’re always down, but sometimes you kinda fuck up dude. So, just ya know… Adam laughs as she’s silent. ADAM Yeah… I know. Look, I said I’ll be there. Okay, just don’t worry about it. I’m a man of my word! Linda has a look of worriment on her face. LINDA Yeah, Adam except you’re not. ADAM That’s… fair. Adam and Linda both sigh at about the same time. ADAM (CONT’D) Look, Lin, I love Tommy. I’ll be there. I will… I will, I will, I will! Linda laughs. LINDA You better, or I’ll slash your tires. Adam looks at his car from the window in his apartment, which is on cinderblocks. He speaks under his breath ADAM Good luck with that one. LINDA What was that? ADAM Nothing. I’ll be there.

4. LINDA Alright, good. You’re not always a fuck up Adam. Just for the record. Adam looks off in the distance with a smirk, not sure what to say. ADAM Yeah, cool. Linda smiles, almost as if she were responding. LINDA Cool. Well, I guess I’ll see you at work. Dave is kinda having a bitch fit about you. You don’t answer your phone anymore? ADAM Lin, I was so fucking high last night… I’m pretty surprised that I woke up.

Right.

LINDA

Adam and Linda share a moment of silence. Linda has a look of worriment on her face. ADAM Do you remember why we broke up? LINDA Shut up asshole, get to work. Linda hangs up on her end. Adam hangs up his phone and puts it down on the counter. CUT TO: JAMES’ BATHROOM. INT. BATHROOM - DAY. James picks up his ringing phone off the counter and answers it while adjusting his tie in the bathroom mirror. JAMES Mark, I need you to send those numbers over to me before lift-off. We talked about this. Leah, fully dressed in her school uniform, hops up on the counter of the bathroom next to her father.

5. She begins playing with some of his grooming tools. She grabs an electric shaver and while looking up at him she begins to fake the idea that she is shaving. James while trying to hold composure on his phone call begins to slightly chuckle to himself. Leah also begins to laugh. JAMES (CONT’D) No Mark that’ll be it. I’ll see you when I get there. Get a good rental too, something nice like an Explorer or an Infinity: Something or whatever. We’re in Nebraska, but we don’t have to drive like we’re from there. James hangs up his phone. Leah climbs onto the counter to look herself in the mirror and laugh at dad. JAMES (CONT’D) What does this little monkey thinks she’s doing? You know mom hates it when you climb on the counters. LEAH That’s what monkeys do dad, we climb things. JAMES Oh, is that so? LEAH Yeah dad, haven’t you read a book? JAMES One or two in my lifetime. James starts to fix his hair. Dad?

LEAH

JAMES Yes sweetie? LEAH Do they have monkeys in Nebraska? JAMES Well, if you count daddy’s friend Mark. They are about to. Leah starts to blush and gingerly dances around asking her dad a question.

6. LEAH I read that they have White Handed Gibbon monkeys at the Lincoln Childrens Zoo in Nebraska. So, I was thinkingJAMES -Oh, you were. LEAH What if I went with you, since it’s my birthday. We could go see the monkeys! I bet I could climb higher than all the monkeys in the Zoo. JAMES I bet you could! James grabs Leah and picks her up in the air and sets her down on his bed. LEAH Please dad?! Please, please, please, please, please?! JAMES Sweetie, I wish I could. You don’t wanna go to Nebraska. Nebraska is boring, we have a much better zoo here. I’m gonna be doing boring adult stuff. You’d have to sit around all day while I do boring adult stuff. You’d miss out on your party and all the fun stuff we have planned. So how about this? If you’re really really good while I’m gone and you listen to your mother, keep your room clean, I will take you to the zoo the moment I get back. How does that sound? James pinches her cheek. LEAH You promise? I promise.

JAMES

LEAH Can Muffins come to?

7. Leah is holding onto a stuffed monkey that she has had for many years. You can tell by the wear and tear. JAMES Does Muffins have to come?

Leah speaks with an almost creepy deep voice that she plays off as Muffins’ voice. LEAH Muffins just wants to be with his friends. James gives a weird look to Leah. Karen can be heard yelling from down stairs KAREN Leah sweetie, come and eat breakfast! It’s almost time to go to school. JAMES Fine, Muffins can can come too? James lifts Leah off the bed and onto the floor. She runs out of the room and downstairs. JAMES (CONT’D) But he’s paying for his own bananas this time! James puts mouthwash in his mouth, gargles and then tilts his head forward and spits. CUT TO: GARDEN APARTMENT. INT. GARDEN APARTMENT - DAY Adam tilts his backwards and blows a huge cloud of smoke out of his nostrils. We see he is smoking a giant bong. Which he then passes to a man sitting on his right. Adam begins coughing uncontrollably. ADAM Holy shit. What am I smoking right now? That is life changing. I feel like you have changed my life, my friend. Like that is some Absolem meets Michael Phelps style. Goddamn, Do you have some muffins? (MORE)

8. ADAM (CONT'D) I could totes go for some muffins right now. PABLO Don’t worry, let Senor Pablo take care of all your needs. You like that blend. I like to call it Kushy and the Blowfish. The guy who sold it to me had Darius Rucker's eyebrows. So how's that fox Linda of yours doing? Ex-fox.

ADAM

PABLO Oh yeah, you’re stupid. Adam laughs at Pablo’s burn. ADAM She’s great, I mean she’s smart and funny. God that girl gets me she is just so, uhAdam and Pablo say how they feel about her at the same time. PABLO -fucking hot bro. ADAM -Good at being a mom. PABLO Woah man, I’m over here talking about her body and shit and you’re over here saying she’s a great mom? Ain't no one trying to hear that shit! ADAM What? Like yeah man she’s cool, and she’s super hot ya know? Great taste in music. PABLO Terrible taste in men, because she dated you. ADAM What? I’m not terrible, I’m just doing my thing Adam takes another massive hit from the bong.

9. PABLO How’s your little bastard by the way? ADAM He’s not a bastard, I am his father. PABLO You act like a father about as much as Ned Stark acts like a father in Season 2 my brother. After he gets decapitated by that pre-pubescent Draco Malfoy lookin’ motherfucker? Pablo stands up and starts playing with a toy lightsaber. Doing a downward swinging motion as if to decapitate Adam who is back to hitting the bong. PABLO (CONT’D) Don’t worry my sweet Lin, with the death of his father I, Pablo first of my name, smoker of bowls, owner of a 1998 Toyota Privia. shall step forth and raise thine young Timmy as thine own. ADAM Tommy. His name is Tommy. He has his first Baseball game. You should come. PABLO I don’t think it’s... like... customary to invite your drug dealer to your kid’s baseball games. Like you wouldn't invite a hitman to thanksgiving dinner. ADAM Hey man, if you’re going to be taking the mantle of my exgirlfriend’s future lover, and raising my child you gotta go to baseball games dude. Pablo thinks about it and then takes a bow. PABLO I accept this most gracious honor. Adam looks at him weirdly.

10. ADAM You watch too much of that show man. Pablo brushes the comment aside. PABLO Hey you wanna get some brunch man it’s almost 11. I know this place that makes some bomb-ass Mimosas, but when I order them I call them Man-mosas that way I still feel like I have a pair when I drink them. ADAM Wait, what time is it? I gotta go I’m gonna be late for work. Adam quickly gathers his stuff and begins to leave. PABLO Hey aren’t you gonna pay me for the weed? ADAM I’ll get it to you, you know I’m good for it. PABLO Uhm asshole... no you’re not. Adam puts on his jacket as he opens the door. ADAM Well, I live upstairs so just come by and get it when you want. Adam closes the door behind him. Pablo walks to his kitchen which is in earshot of the front door. He opens the fridge and grabs a beer. Adam then re-opens the front door and shouts at Pablo. ADAM (CONT’D) Oh and I’m taking your sister’s bike to work, bye! Adam slams the front door shut. Asshole!

PABLO

Pablo closes the door of his fridge.

11.

CUT TO: JAMES’ KITCHEN INT. KITCHEN DAY. James closes his fridge door and is holding the creamer for his coffee. Leah is at the table eating and Karen is walking around making sure that both her husband and daughter are prepped for the day. She is rustling through Leah’s backpack as James sits at the kitchen table to eat with Leah. KAREN Leah, where is your math homework? You put it in the Pokemon folder right? Also, make sure you pass out those invites for the party to the your class, okay? But don’t invite that Sydney girl. The one with the over-sized forehead. LEAH I won’t, she’s mean to me anyway. Karen speaks under her breath about Sydney. KAREN Little bitchKaren speaks up so Leah can hear her. KAREN (CONT’D) She always rubbed me the wrong way. Karen rustles around Leah’s backpack. KAREN (CONT’D) Hey, why are these in here? Karen pull out 3 bananas from Leah’s backpack. LEAH Those are for Muffins. Karen sighs and lovingly looks into Leah’s eyes. KAREN We’ve talked about this. Muffins isn’t real. Muffin is a toy, toys do not go to school and toys do not eat.

12. LEAH Muffins is a monkey! KAREN Well then, monkeys do not go to school. James chimes in and winks at Leah. JAMES Our little monkey does. KAREN James, you know what studies say about imaginary friends. Who’s side are you on? James speaks with his mouth full. JAMES Can I pick Muffins’ side? Leah begins to laugh at her dad. Karen breathes deeply and turns away from the kitchen table. She leaves the bananas and backpack on the table while she walks to the bathroom. James takes the bananas from the table, puts them in Leah’s backpack, and zips up the backpack. James gives Leah a thumbs up. KAREN James, if we choose to acknowledge this behavior we could cause loads of deeper psychological problems down the road. I mean stuffed monkeys that are toys should not be acknowledged as real people, when they are just things. I mean we wouldn’t want our little girl known as “the girl who can’t go anywhere without taking her pet monkey everywhere,” all through elementary school. Karen walks out of the bathroom and back into the kitchen. KAREN (CONT’D) That’s how kids get bullied. Not to mention the slut shaming. James scoffs at the statement, wipes his mouth and gets up to get ready to leave.

13. JAMES Karen, it’s just one day and she’s 8. If someone’s calling her a slut then there’s something really crazy going on in school these days. LEAH What’s a slut? JAMES A bad word to say sweetheart. KAREN Great and now she’s going to be the one with the potty mouth in 3rd grade. James grabs Karen’s face and looks at her in the eyes. Karen…

JAMES

Karen looks at him as if to say “I know.” She then turns to Leah as James gets back to getting his things together for work. LEAH Mom, Muffins wants to come to my party! An uptight Karen sighs and accepts Leah’s request.

KAREN Of course! And Muffins can come with you to school, but just today. LEAH Thanks mommy. I have the best mommy and daddy in the whole world! James stands near the front door holding his luggage and keys JAMES Yes you do, grab your stuff. If you hurry I’ll drop you off on my way. Kay monkey. Leah gets excited and runs to get Muffins’ in another room. LEAH I’ll go grab Muffins. He likes your car the best!

14. Karen interjects. KAREN Sweetie, we have to pick up Mckenzie and Candice today. JAMES That’s today? KAREN It’s her birthday, I offered. That way I can buy them doughnuts... or whatever overpriced, sugar-coated, crumb-bombs I can get them before school. JAMES Is it weird that I find it sexy when you say the words “CrumbBombs?” A flirty James is accepted by Karen. KAREN Incredibly. James leans in and kisses his wife goodbye. JAMES Okay, bye babe. I’ll call you when I land. Bye Leah, I love you. Leah comes running to the front door for James. LEAH Say goodbye to Muffins! JAMES Bye Muffins. Leah speaks in the creepy Muffins voice. LEAH Bye bye, daddy! James laughs awkwardly and does a bit with his wife to get her to work on that voice. He leaves through the front door. EXT. DRIVEWAY - DAY James walks his things to his car. His neighbor Craig is watering his plants.

15. CRAIG Hey buddy? Where to this time? JAMES Nebraska! Just for the weekend. CRAIG Oh cool, go CornHuskers. Amiright? James feigns excitement for the phrase. JAMES Right, college football. James throws his luggage in the trunk and walks to the front door of his car. He looks at all he has made for his family: the house, the car. All of it. He breathes in deeply and opens the door. He looks to Craig. JAMES (CONT’D) Alright, keep an eye on everyone while I’m gone Craig? CRAIG You got it buster. James smirks and gets into his car. Alright.

JAMES

He pulls out of his driveway and into the street. Driving away from his home. EXT. BAR -

DAY

Adam is driving a bike with some raybans on, he rides it to the entrance of his bar. Adam hops off the bike really slickas-hell-like and lets the bike crash into the bar as he lights a cigarette and starts to walk inside. INT. BAR - DAY Adam enters the restaurant he says hi to Linda and keeps walking toward the bar. Dave, his assistant manager stops him. Dave is high strung and has a Charlie Day sort of voice. DAVE What the hell Adam? Sup Dave?

ADAM

16. DAVE You know our policy man. Cigarettes outside, man. Outside, come on man. ADAM Oh shit, sorry dude. Adam throws his cigarette on the ground and puts it out with his foot. Dave physically vocalizes his disapproval for this action. DAVE Adam, you are just out of line mister! Adam secures his apron for work. DAVE (CONT’D) You know what, no man this is it. Where were you? 8 calls man. I called you 8 times. I needed you here this last night! ADAM I was on call last night right? DAVE Yeah, yes sir you were on call?! ADAM Yeah, but you know… I was on call. DAVE What does that mean? ADAM Dave… Dave… I was on call. DAVE Oh, son of bitch! Look Adam, Sharon quit last week you knew we needed help. You knew you were working her shifts and you just like don’t care. I, I don’t know man. I don’t know what you want me… Adam starts to light up another cigarette. DAVE (CONT’D) ...Are you goddamn kidding me? Adam looks at Dave inquisitively smokes his cigarette and blows it into Dave’s face.

17.

What?

ADAM

Dave slaps the cigarette out of his mouth. Dude!

ADAM (CONT’D)

DAVE That’s it man! That’s it! You’re done! You’re a good guy Adam but sometimes you just fuck up and this is one too many fuck-ups for my book, man. I mean….man… Dave changes his tone to a very serious and somber one DAVE (CONT) (CONT’D) Gimme your apron. ADAM Are you firing me? DAVE Yes! Apron! Adam looks at Linda and finally realizes this is the end of the line for him. ADAM Wait… You are really firing me? DAVE Look, you’re just not reliable man! Adam starts to get defensive. ADAM So I am being fired! Linda pleads with Adam, expecting him to dig himself a deeper whole. LINDA Adam, just leave dude. Before you make it worse for yourself. ADAM Okay! I see! Cool! Well if I’m fired then I guess it doesn’t matter if I have a drink on work premises then huh?

18. Adam storms behind the bar. DAVE Hey! Hey! What are you doing? Adam turns the tap on for a beer, gets a mouthful and sprays it out on the bar. He then slaps all the taps on. Adam grabs two bottles of Malort, opens a register, grabs keys in the register and storms out of the bar. DAVE (CONT’D) That’s spillage man! Unbelievable. EXT. BAR - DAY Adam chugs the bottle and walks toward a crappy honda civic with the license plate “Ass Mngr.” Adam finishes the bottle and then smashes it on the ground. Adam then enters the car. Linda runs outside for Adam as he skids off in the car. Adam!

LINDA

INT. CAR - DAY. Adam takes a pull off the second bottle of Malort. ADAM Stupid fucking Dave. Keeps his keys in the register. A moment of silence passes in the car. ADAM (CONT’D) And I’m the fuck up! Adam riffs on Dave and the bar and Linda until he takes a final drink of his Malort bottle and smashes into an SUV. Everything goes white. A ringing sound comes with the white. EXT. COMMERCIAL STREET - DAY James wakes up to a fuzzy smokey car crash that he has been a part of. He shakes it off and walks out of the car to see the full crash in all of it’s glory. A voice with a Morgan Freeman gusto/authority combo starts to speak to him. James!

VOICE (V.O.)

JAMES What? What is that?

19. James looks toward the sky. VOICE (V.O.) Sh… Don’t interrupt me James. Interrupt?

JAMES

VOICE (V.O.) James is a father of a girl named Leah, whose birthday is today. How old is your lovely girl this year? James fumbles with his words. JAMES It’s uh, Uhm… she’s turning Five. VOICE (V.O.) Oh, how wonderful James. James keeps his eyes on the sky as he walks around the crash. JAMES I’m sorry, what’s happening? I was just driving a minute ago on 53rd. I’m just a little… VOICE (V.O.) Confused James? You see there once was a man named Adam. Adam falls out of the front door of his car. He is very audible about how he feels due to the crash.

VOICE (V.O.) Adam was a very loving father. He had a child young, but he was loving on the weekends. Adam would teach his son, Tommy, to play baseball on the weekends and then buy him slurpees at the local 7-11. JAMES What the fuck is happening? Look at my car! The Voice clears its throat to get James to quiet. James listens as Adam gets closer to James and listens with him.

20. VOICE (V.O.) This is important backstory! This was all in anticipation of Tommy’s first little league baseball game. Which is today. Unfortunately for poor Adam, his boss was fed up with Adam and his overall absence. This led to his untimely firing. In response to this news and dealing with still having feelings for his ex wife Linda… Adam lights a cigarette as he agrees with what the Voice is saying. ADAM That’s true. She’s pretty dope. VOICE (V.O.) James shouts at me from being ignored. JAMES What is going on?! Who the hell is Adam?! VOICE (V.O.) Adam is standing next to you James. Adam extends his hand out to James to shake. James does not shake it. VOICE (V.O.) Now shush, I’m getting to the good part. Adam kept shooting his bottles of Malort after he had just smoked the dankest of shit, so needless to say, his reaction time wasn’t what it could be. He was driving way over the speed limit and crashed into this fellow… James. This is the story of Adam and James, they are dead. James laughs and then speaks. JAMES Wait, what? Seriously? The voice does not respond and has seemed to dissipate. James looks back at his car which has a whole in the windshield that seems to be covered in blood.

21. JAMES (CONT’D) Wait, what do you mean dead? Hey! Adam speaks to James as he turns to the crash. ADAM Holy shit, did you see this wreck? Adam smokes from his cigarette. A frantic James grabs Adam. JAMES Are you Adam? ADAM Totally, and you are? JAMES Oh me? I’m nobody, just the guy you fucking murdered! Adam gives James a weird look and then smiles. ADAM You’re a funny guy. Alright pal, I’m sorry but I haven’t had shrooms in a long time. So party on, but you know. I’m cool. The Voice comes back to narrate this part of the conversation. VOICE (V.O.) Adam was under the impression that James was on some kind of narcotic. JAMES Oh and now you’re back! Perfect! Adam shields himself from James’ anger. ADAM You really yell a lot man! James mocks the way Adam speaks. JAMES We’re dead… Man! And you’re the fuckwad who killed us! Adam does everything the voice says. He is basically narrating their experience.

22. VOICE (V.O.) Adam started to think about everything that had happened to him today. He thought about his drive. At first he laughed off this idea. “How could he be dead?” he thought. ADAM How could I be dead? JAMES Oh, Jesus fucking Christ! VOICE (V.O.) Adam thought, I’m conscious. I’m thinking. Then Adam saw what looked like a mangled version of the shirt he was currently wearing. Adam was beginning to seeJames interrupts the Voice. JAMES -That he’s dead? That he fucking killed us?! James gets no response.

No?!

JAMES (CONT’D)

ADAM Wait, I just came from the bar and… and then I was here. Oh my god. James yells at Adam. Yeah!

JAMES

ADAM Oh my god! I’m dead! JAMES Yeah we’re dead and you killed us! ADAM Is that your car?! JAMES What’s left of it.

23. ADAM Is that your body? Adam points to a spot a few feet away from the whole in James’s windshield where James’ body is lying decapitated. ADAM (CONT’D) Oh shit, where’s your head?! VOICE (V.O.) James had been decapitated during the accident. James looks off into the sky. Really?

JAMES

VOICE (V.O.) You see Adam’s car had hit James in such a way that James’ head just went and popped off. James speaks to the Voice, trying to make it stop. JAMES Can you not? Adam starts to freak out on James. He shows how much of a dunce he is. ADAM Wait, if we’re dead, we gotta watch out. You never know when you’re gonna get snatched up by a black misty demon. Adam is getting visibly concerned ADAM (CONT’D) Oh shit! Oh shit, man. Are you like a good person? I don’t want to get dragged down to hell by some misty weird black cloud demon or some shit. JAMES What are you talking about? Is… Is that ghost? ADAM Patrick Swayze, yes!

24. JAMES Oh my god! I don’t care, because, in case you don’t remember or care, I am dead. Thanks again asshole! James starts to angrily walk away from the crash. Adam follows him. ADAM Hey man, if that guy is telling the truth we’re both dead. We’re in this together. James stops Adam and rethinks the situation and starts to make excuses for what is happening. JAMES No, no we’re not! Because you are in my subconscious and I’m sleeping or I hit my head. You’re not real! Adam looks at his hands. ADAM I don’t know man, I feel pretty real. James starts to search his car the crash. JAMES Where’s my phone?! Adam stands behind James as he feverishly looks for his phone. ADAM I don’t think dead people can use phones. JAMES No. Adam. If you are really here, then know that we’re not dead and maybe help me find my phone so I can call my job and tell them that I can’t make it to the airport, because some jamoke smashed into me on the way! Adam looks around the car crash and trains his eyes on where James’ body is. Adam walks over to the corpse and searches the body. He finds a new iPhone and walks it back over to James.

25. ADAM Is this it? James looks back at Adam who is holding his phone. JAMES Thank you, Adam. Now see, this is what being helpful looks like. Where was it? ADAM It was on that dude with no head… James looks over at the corpse. He jogs over to it. Adam stands back by the car and looks on. James grabs the shoes on the corpse, then the arm and compares it to himself. JAMES Great, yeah… Yeah that’s me. James sighs JAMES (CONT’D) Fuck...Fuck. Fuck. James points at Adam. Fuck you!

JAMES (CONT’D)

James starts to walk toward Adam angrily. JAMES (CONT’D) I am going to kill you. Adam starts to run around the car as James chases him. ADAM James! You can’t kill what is already dead! Just accept it. JAMES Accept it?! I can accept that my new Iphone 7 doesn’t have a headphone jack! I can accept that I 13 miles to the gallon in my SUV!Adam speaks over James’ voice. ADAM -That just seems wasteful, you should get a hybrid if you’re traveling that much.

26. JAMES I like the way it makes me look! I can accept that Angie at Starbucks takes a few extra moments on my lattes, because I refuse to shell out that 75 cent tip every morning! Adam stands on one side of the car dodging left and right. They are at a stalemate. ADAM Wait, you don’t tip? You’re definitely going to hell. JAMES Yeah! And you fucking murdered me, and now I am stuck here with you! So yes. This is hell! ADAM Jesus christ, James you gonna throw that in my face this whole adventure. JAMES Adven- No. Nope, I’m not doing this with you. I’m done, I’m leaving. James stops trying to fight Adam and starts to walk away from the crash. JAMES (CONT’D) I’m done with you! Adam follows James. ADAM James stop! Don’t you get it? We’re still here for a reason. Have you ever seen It’s a Wonderful Life? James stops walking and turns to Adam. JAMES Okay, that’s not even a ghost movie! Point is, obviously before we afterlife

ADAM we’re still here. There’s something we have to do can move on to the or whatever. Be at peace.

James rolls his eyes at Adam.

27. JAMES Great Adam! Why don’t you go find out what that is buddy? James starts walking again, Adam follows. James stops. Adam stops. James turns around. JAMES (CONT’D) Adam… pal. Can you go find out why you’re still here elsewhere? Away from me? ADAM I can’t just go away James. We are bonded together now. We are partners. Brothers even… James shakes his head. JAMES No! No we’re not! Not even a little bit! James shouts emitting a burst of energy around the crash. CUT TO: OUTSIDE SCHOOL EXT. SCHOOL - DAY After James shouts at Adam, he finds himself right outside of the school that Leah goes to. The voice comes back to narrate. VOICE (V.O.) James, in a state of being overwhelmed, has his thoughts travel him to his daughter’s school. He stands outside the classroom she is in. James closes his eyesCUT TO: CLASSROOM INT. CLASSROOM - DAY. The Voice continues to narrate what is happening VOICE (V.O.) -and then appears in a chair right next to his daughter. Little boys and girls come up to Leah’s desk. (MORE)

28. VOICE (V.O.) (CONT'D) They give her birthday cards and small gifts like pencils and Pokemon cards. Her stuffed monkey Muffins sticks out of her back pack. A young girl walks by her. YOUNG GIRL I like your monkey. Leah turns to her. LEAH Thanks, my dad got it for me. James smiles a bit and then has a realization. JAMES She doesn’t even know. James face is white with disappointment and fear. VOICE (V.O.) James is heartbroken. Adam is revealed to be in a seat behind James. He appears to be tearing up. ADAM This is so sad. JAMES How long have you been sitting there? ADAM I’ve literally been here the whole time you have. James turns himself around to face Adam. JAMES So you’re following me around still, great? Haven’t you done enough. VOICE (V.O.) James gets up from his chair. A masculine and powerful voice inside his head reminds him of all that he has built in his life. (MORE)

29. VOICE (V.O.) (CONT'D) From his home in which he afforded with hard work and a never-say-noat-the-workplace attitude to all the luxuries his family has. Even this school his daughter goes to. James shouts back at the voice. JAMES Yeah we get it okay, I was never around, but guess what. We wouldn’t have had the goddamn house without all my hard work! ADAM I don’t think shouting is going to make this situation any better James. James lunges at Adam. He grabs him and pushes him onto a bookshelf in the classroom. JAMES Adam, I’m going to be very blunt here. I hate you. I don’t even know you, but I hate you. You have just taken a child’s father away from her! Perfect birthday for a 5 year old! Can you even imagine that thought! She’s just a fucking kid! And now, her dad is gone! Forever! Do you even understand what I am saying?! No! You can’t! Who even are you?! Some addict?! Some holier than thou, peaked in highschool, wanna be rockstar or something! What were you thinking?! No, seriously! What the fuck were you thinking?! James’ last sentence emits a small amount of audible energy that spooks the classroom. All of the student and even the teacher is looking their way. A book falls down from behind Adam. The teacher brushes it off. TEACHER Okay, someone close the windows. And Leah pick up that book please. Leah walks over and picks up the book. She places it onto the shelf next to her father. James lets go of Adam and then tries to grab her, but he is unable to get a hold of her.

30. VOICE (V.O.) James cannot interact with the living. No matter what he tries. Adam puts his hand on James’ shoulder. ADAM I’m so sorry James, but I can’t change anything okay. James accepts what Adam says to him. JAMES Yeah! Yeah… Just give me a minute. Adam takes a moment as James watches his daughter sit down in her seat and then look back at the area the guys are standing in. Completely unaware of their presence. Adam breaks the tension. Adam You know, my son just turned 7. James comes back to his angry personality and snaps at Adam JAMES (CONT’D) Don’t try to relate to me you son of a bitch! VOICE (V.O.) Adam’s first attempt at establishing a friendship was unsuccessful, but little did James know this was the beginning of a beautiful ghost friendship. James speaks to the Voice without patience. JAMES Ghost friendship?! No, I am not his friend. James walks through the wall to the outside of the school. EXT. SCHOOL - DAY. James is walking away from the situation. Adam follows him. ADAM Look James, you might not know by looking at me, but I wasn’t a good father either. James turns around and snaps at him.

31. JAMES Either?! What the fuck are you talking about?! ADAM James this sucks that we’re dead okay, but let’s do something with the time that we have here. I don’t know what’s going to happen next. Let’s figure out what we’re supposed to do you know? We’re here! VOICE (V.O.) James sighs. He is uncomfortable with this proposition, but he feels there is something left for them to do. Why else would they be trapped here on Earth? James does what the voice says and then notices Adam is floating off the ground. JAMES Are you floating right now? An Adam that doesn’t know what to make of what’s happening responds to James. ADAM Yeah, I just sort of like thought about it and then it happened. VOICE (V.O.) James concentrates his efforts and then begins to float above the ground. The two friends begin to laugh about the funny occurrence. James still unsure about Adam stops his laughter quickly. Cool huh?

ADAM

VOICE (V.O.) James lets out a sigh of defeat, he’s not going to fight with Adam as much now. JAMES Yeah, it’s not bad.

32. ADAM Alright, so I say we find some kind of Whoopi Goldberg clairvoyant type dealJames interrupts Adam. JAMES Don’t start. You just lock that shit up right now. I am dead serious. Adam gives him a winky-jokey face. ADAM Sure are dead! No!

JAMES

James floats off camera and is no longer visible as he shames Adam. JAMES (CONT’D) Much too soon for that. Adam floats there for a moment and speaks to himself. ADAM I mean, “too late” really. Adam follows James off camera. EXT. JAMES’ HOUSE DAY. Adam and James float onto James’ lawn when they reach the grass they descend to touch the ground. VOICE The ghost buds notice a police vehicle in the driveway. James knows what this means. JAMES Oh god, Karen. A police officer exits the car, his partner a female police officer exits out the other side. They talk until they get to the front door. FEMALE POLICE OFFICER Jesus christ Jim, that was brutal.

33. MALE POLICE OFFICER Head clear off. I don’t think we found it yet. FEMALE POLICE OFFICER How does that even happen? MALE POLICE OFFICER Pfft. Fuckin science… I don’t know. Some Bill Nye shit or whatever. Wow.

FEMALE POLICE OFFICER

The cops ring the doorbell. FEMALE POLICE OFFICER (CONT’D) Hey this might be like sick to say you know, but honestly, that’s fucking awesome right? MALE POLICE OFFICER I know right?! I thought I was the only one thinkin’ that! Literally, I don’t think this has ever happened before in this town! The two police officers laugh at the expense of James’ injury. James shoots them a dirty look. Adam starts to laugh a little bit and tries to play it off as a cough. James shoots him a look. You okay?

JAMES

Adam continues to feign his cough. ADAM Yeah. Just. You know… The bugs. James mocks him as the door opens to his place. His wife stands there with a sexy nightgown on. Officers?

KAREN

ADAM Holy shit, look at you big hoss. Momma keeps it tight! James speaks to Adam as if to say, “That’s innapropriate.” Adam.

JAMES

34. Adam points at James wife. ADAM Come on, I mean she just wears that around the house? During the day. Gimme a break man! James speaks for angrily. Adam!

JAMES

Adam responds with the same octave. ADAM Sorry! I’m dead not blind! MALE POLICE OFFICER Ma’am can we come in? Karen looks around the house and gestures them inside. The cops and Adam and James walk into the house. INT. JAMES’ HOUSE - DAY Karen gestures for the cops to sit down on the couch. She sits opposite them. James and Adam sit next to the cops. KAREN This is quite irregular. FEMALE POLICE OFFICER This will just take a moment. MALE POLICE OFFICER Ma’am, we have to give you some terrible news. Karen looks at them concerned What?

KAREN

FEMALE POLICE OFFICER Your husband was involved in a car accident. KAREN Oh my god. Is he okay? Where is he? MALE POLICE OFFICER Ma’am he was pronounced dead on the scene.

35. KAREN What do you mean? Did anyone try and help him? Were there EMT’s? A paramedic? FEMALE POLICE OFFICER Those are actually the same thing soKaren snaps at the cop. KAREN -Excuse me, I am grieving for my dead husband! I just don’t understand. He was here this morning and now you’re telling me he’s gone. James looks at his wife with sadness in his eyes. His wife starts to break down. She stands up and waves her hands toward her eyes. The male cop stands up to console her. He holds her head to his chest. This motion makes her nightgown bunch up in a way that Adam can clearly see her butt from the angle he is sitting. Adam says nothing to James who doesn’t notice. He mouths “Oh my god.” She pushes the officer back and yells at him. As she yells her breasts jiggle in their bra. Adam cannot help but stare. KAREN (CONT’D) How could this happen? I need someone to tell me, because I just don’t understand. Adam’s eyes are trained on Karen’s breasts. VOICE (V.O.) The veracity and fervor at which James’ wife’s bosom’s shook started to give Adam a very ghostly erection. Adam puts his hands up in the air. ADAM Hey! Come… come on, man. VOICE (V.O.) Adam looks at James who is staring at Adam with anger. ADAM Pfft! This guy. What’s he talking about? Right?

36. James grabs a lamp and throws it across the couch to where Adam is sitting. Adam dodges the lamp. The lamp smashes on the ground. The cops simultaneously turn around and start shooting at the couch. Adam jumps behind the couch as James sits there. They empty their entire clips into the couch, screaming while they do it. When they finish they look and see the broken lamp. Awe shit!

FEMALE POLICE OFFICER

MALE POLICE OFFICER Sorry ma’am false alarm. Karen stands there speechless. MALE POLICE OFFICER (CONT’D) Better safe than sorry right? Karen speaks under her breath. What? No?

KAREN

MALE POLICE OFFICER Coulda been something though right? Karen continues to speak to herself. KAREN Shooting guns, wildly into my couch is the exact opposite of safe. The officers look at each other and holster their weapons, then they fake a radio call. MALE POLICE OFFICER What’s that? We got a 46 uh, 2-B-L ummm M-8-3 midnight city. The cop looks at Karen to speak to her now. MALE POLICE OFFICER (CONT’D) That’s... that’s code. So, well… again our condolences. The cops leave the house, the female cop quickly speaks to Karen as she walks by. FEMALE POLICE OFFICER Sorry for your loss. She quickly exits. The Male Police Officer walks over to Karen and softly speaks.

37. MALE POLICE OFFICER I know things can be rough, without a man in the house. If you ever need anything. And I do mean anything. If you need something moved, or a shoulder to cry onAdam shouts from behind the couch. ADAM Damn, is he mackin’ on your widow. It’s been like what an hour? MALE POLICE OFFICER -Or maybe someone to just watch a movie a with. Talk to, perhaps cook you a nice meal while we listen to a little bit of my main man JGrobes. Do not hesitate to call. Just dial 9-1-1. The cop laughs to himself MALE POLICE OFFICER (CONT’D) Don’t actually do that. Yeah, that’s against the law and I’d have to bust ya! You can reach me at the station my extension is on this card. You should probably take down my cell. I also have a pager, so if you would, ya know, like that as well. You can get a hold of me. Literally at anytime. I mean ya know always within reach. At a moment's notice. Whenever you need me. I mean, I am the law… pretty big deal… or whatever. Keep it casual. Ya dig? Karen takes his card and rips it up in front of his face. KAREN Get out of my house. The cops walk by James on the couch and out the front door. Adam emerges from behind the couch. ADAM That was a close one. Adam notices that James didn’t move.

38. ADAM (CONT’D) Hey, what are youAdam thinks for a second to himself. ADAM (CONT’D) Right… Dead. Stupid. James gets up from the couch and walks over to his wife he starts to speak to her and tries to hold her. He can’t touch her. JAMES Karen, baby can you hear me? Please hear me. VOICE (V.O.) She cannot hear James’ voice. James angrily mocks The Voice. JAMES Oh, this is bullshit. So you’re saying I can move things. I can touch things as long as they’re not alive, but I can’t talk to anyone?! James waits for an answer. A small moment passes. The voice speaks very bluntly. Yes.

VOICE (V.O.)

JAMES Oh perfect. Cool. Great. Grand! James looks back at his wife and continues to speak to her. JAMES (CONT’D) Karen, I am right here. I am so sorry. I am sorry I was never there when it mattered. VOICE James continues to ignore the fact that he cannot communicate with the living. Even though, he was explained the matter merely moments ago. James gestures to the voice.

39.

Fuck you.

JAMES

VOICE No thank you. Adam stops the interaction. ADAM Guys stop okay. James, I know this is stressful, but we’ll get through this together. James turns to Adam. JAMES Oh and here comes Adam! Started freaking out at first, but is now somehow 100% okay with the fact that we ’re dead and headless! ADAM I’m pretty sure you were the only one without a head. James flips out. JAMES Oh fuck off Adam! What now? Come on big shot. What now? What do you wanna do now? Go watch the principal tell my daughter I’m deadJames starts to freak out on Adam again. Behind him Craig emerges from the bathroom shirtless and his pants unbuckled. Adam notices, James has not. Adam tries to get James’ attention during his rant. JAMES (CONT’D) -You want to watch my wife… sorry! My widow tell my fatherless child that not only is daddy not coming to her birthday party, but he is never coming to any birthday parties ever again. How’s that sound! James! What?

ADAM JAMES

40. ADAM Do you and your wife have an open relationship? What?

JAMES

ADAM Who’s this guy? James turns to see Craig and Karen making out. James having not realized what he is seeing annoyingly turns to Adam to retort. JAMES That’s Craig. Adam looks James in his eyes with confusion. James’ face turns to realization. He turns back to where Craig was, James face bellows with rage. Craig!

JAMES (CONT’D)

James follows Craig and Karen to the bedroom. Adam walks behind James to see what’s happening. INT. BEDROOM - DAY James and Adam fully enter the bedroom and stand at the foot of the bed. JAMES Karen! What is this?! VOICE (V.O.) I can not reiterate enoughJames pleads with the voice. Stop!

JAMES

The voice subsides as Craig and Karen make out in James and Karen’s bedroom. CRAIG When are you going to leave your husband? I want to take care of you... and Leah. Karen this is right. You know it! Craig looks downward toward his penis.

41. CRAIG (CONT’D) You feel it! Adam looks grossed out by that last sentence. Gross.

ADAM

KAREN You don’t have to worry about him anymore Craig. His life insurance plan was unbelievable and after the birthday party, we’ll take a trip to paradise and start our life. Karen laughs as Craig kisses her chest. KAREN (CONT’D) Till death do us part baby. I cut his breaks this morning before he drove to the airport. JAMES What the fuck?! Adam points at James in excitement. ADAM So, I didn’t kill you! Craig looks at Karen with a slight amount of concern. CRAIG Uhm sweetie that’s a bit morbid. I want to be Leah’s dad butKaren flips Craig over and starts to give him oral sex off frame. Ohh… Ohh.

CRAIG (CONT’D)

JAMES You fucking bitch. On our bed?! Adam talks to James, Adam is off in his own world. ADAM I’m telling you, this is just a weight lifted off my shoulders, I’m feeling like ten out of ten. I’m not a murderer, I just committed accidental suicide… Alright, now I’m back at a zero.

42. James tries to attack Karen and Craig but only manages to get in the middle of their love making. James sees Craig and his body coming for him one second, the next Karen is in his face shouting at him. KAREN Do me from behind! CRAIG Here I cum. James screams and falls off the bed. He grabs a pillow on the floor and throws it at them on the bed. They hardly notice. Adam is in the background. He appears to be moving things around. Adam walks out of the room. ADAM James, it’s no use bud. James yells at Karen. JAMES You killed me, you whore! ADAM We’re ghosts James, that’s enough. JAMES On our daughter’s 5th birthday. James settles himself down then walks out of the room. INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY James starts to notice Adam’s shenanigans. JAMES What are you doing? Adam looks at James, but does all of the things that he’s saying to him. ADAM Oh you’re gonna love this. I’m movin’ shit around. Keys used to be on the wall, now, they’re under the fuckin’ sink. Oh you need a knife? Good luck cuz they’re all turned around. So if you’re not payin’ attention. Boom! Fingers are bleedin’ bitch! James stops Adam.

43.

Adam! What?!

JAMES ADAM

JAMES Just stop, please. I’m freaking out here okay? I just left my daughter with an apparent psychopath and there’s nothing I can do. ADAM Oh yeah, that kid’s gonna have it rough. James shoots Adam a nasty look. ADAM (CONT’D) Right, not helping okay… Look, I’ve got an idea. We go back in there with some pottery equipment. We position ourselves in such a wayJAMES Oh my God! Why do you keep referencing Ghost? Adam takes a moment to think about the question but thinks it’s kind of a dumb one. ADAM Uh it’s like the only ghost movie ever made, kind of all I have to go by. JAMES There’s like a thousand other ghost movies! Name one-

ADAM

James interrupts him. JAMES -Ghostbusters! Adam thinks. ADAM No, but it was… Okay name two. James freaks out.

44. JAMES Oh my god! Casper, The Friendly Ghost! The titular character is a fucking ghost! Adam realizes his error and speaks to himself. ADAM That’s right Devon Sawa, “Can I keep you?” Duh. JAMES Adam... I am sorry. You didn’t technically kill me and you’re probably a great guy, but I don’t know what I’m going to do here. ADAM Don’t worry. We’ll figure something out. JAMES No Adam, I don’t think I can do this. I just want to be left alone. James sits on his couch. Adam looks at him. ADAM Hey! Did Swayze leave Demi Moore in Ghost? James speaks with exhaustion. Adam-

JAMES

ADAM Did he leave her?! James defeated speaks up. No…

JAMES

ADAM No he didn’t, he couldn’t leave until he fulfilled his purpose by boning her. JAMES You’re gonna bone me?

45. ADAM No I’m gonna help you. JAMES Then reference The 6th Sense or something. ADAM I don’t know what that is James, but I’m all in for ya man. We’re gonna get these pig fuckers back. One way or another. James listens to the sex noises in the background. He gets enraged with a sick look in his eyes. JAMES What do you have in mind? ADAM Rock and roll. Adam holds up keys to a car. EXT. PABLO’S GARDEN APARTMENT - DAY Adam and James walk up to Pablo’s apartment. James, questions Adam’s plan. JAMES So please, explain to me how visiting your drug dealer is going to help me get justice from my wife and Craig? It’s not like we can get high right now? Adam knocks on the door to Pablo’s apartment and then turns to James showing irritation for the first time of his own. ADAM Okay, hold on, how about we take a moment here. Where is the “Thank you Adam, thank you for being here all day for me. Thank you for being supportive, thank you for not being creepy Craig and receiving blow jobs from your incredibly busty wife. Thank you for taking the brunt of your very obvious anger issues. Oh, also, I am so sorry Adam that I hit you with my car that didn't have any brakes; (MORE)

46. ADAM (CONT'D) because my psycho bitch, lowlife, underachieving in her lover selection now widowed wife. Somehow finds that thin moustached beetle driving amber alert guy attractive.” James gives a weird look to Adam. JAMES Okay, that was oddly about my wife’s attractiveness. Adam snaps at James. ADAM Seriously, how does that guy nail that! I'm so lost. Adam knocks on Pablos door again ADAM (CONT’D) Where is he?! JAMES Maybe he's at work or something? ADAM James, he's a drug dealer, this is his work. Okay Men’s Wearhouse? James looks at his clothes. JAMES It’s JCPenney. Adam snaps again. ADAM Is that better to you?! JAMES Oh, whatever! Why are we knocking?! Adam responds as if that was a stupid question. ADAM Oh I don't know, common courtesy? JAMES We’re fucking ghosts. We can just go through the wall. Besides it’s not like he’s just going to-

47. Pablo opens the door, and just stares right at Adam. Adam and James wait for Pablo to do something. PABLO ...Adam I like you, you know that I like you. I view you like one of my cousin, but you know better than to disturb me during my stories. This may be my place of business, but it’s also my temple. Alright, it’s my sanctuary and you are seriously fucking up my vibes right now. Adam responds with remorse. ADAM Oh man, is Golden Girls on? You know I get the times wrong sometimes. PABLO Yeah man, and Blanche is being as saucy as ever. James stands there in shock. JAMES Holy shit can he fucking see us! They ignore James’ statement. PABLO And Adam, what did I tell you about bringing strangers here man. I don’t know this guy. This is very unprofessional. You could fuck up my whole shit. What if he's a fed? Look at him, look at the way he's dressed. You know what Adam? You know what? You’re looking like a real asshole right now man. Adam starts to plead with Pablo. ADAM Look I’m sorry, but you know I wouldn't bother you if this weren't important. James loses his composure. JAMES Adam, He fucking sees us!

48. James is ignored again. PABLO And where’s my sister’s Bike? You know how much she loved that bike. It’s not cheap. Do you know how much white people sell bikes for at garage sales? ADAM I don't know like 40 dollars? I’ve never bought one. James you probably sold a bike at block party or somethingPablo interrupts the thought. PABLO Twenty-nine fifty. I know, I saw that bike for Eighty dollars at walmart. He didn't even drop it down to a fourth of the price man. On a used bike, puto. Adam, I am not pleased with you right now. You are lucky I view you as a brother and that I am very baked right now. James stops the interaction. JAMES Adam, seriously, he fucking sees us right now! How is this happening? PABLO Chingate, yes I can see you pendejo! Adam what is going on? ADAM Pablo, I don't know how to explain this to you and don’t freak out. We’re dead. Pablo stops his train of thought PABLO Like dead? Like you died? Yeah.

ADAM

Pablo looks the guys up and down. There is an awkwardly long silence. Adam and James wait for Pablo to freak out.

49. PABLO Yeah, that makes sense. Sounds like you, always doing stupid shit man. I guess like... come in or whatever. Adam follows Pablo inside. James stands there stunned for a second. INT. PABLO’S GARDEN APARTMENT - DAY. Pablo and Adam sit on the couch as James paces back and forth within the apartment. PABLO So, you stole Dave’s car after we smoked Kushy and the Blowfish? You should not be driving on that stuff nor should you be operating any sort of heavy Machinery or like a breast pump. Those are all mistakes! So what now? You guys just spend your time like floating place to place? Moving random people’s shit? Going into ladies bathrooms? Do they really keep couches in there? I heard they did man. Real crazy you’re dead and stuff. James gestures to Adam. JAMES Well this is fascinating. Can we not gloss over the fact that he can see us? PABLO Man, shut up. You’re not special. I see Ghost’s all the time. How?

JAMES

Pablo’s energy takes a shift. PABLO I don’t want to talk about it. JAMES Well that’s great! ADAM What is your problem?

50. JAMES My problem? I have what I can assume to be eternity, literally all the time in the in the world and you found the one person who can waste it better than you can. Adam is oddly offended by the thought. ADAM Well, that’s debatable. PABLO Adam, I don’t know who this guy is, but I don’t like being disrespected. I mean I invite you into my home. During my special timeJames interrupts Pablo. JAMES During your special time? You’re getting stoned, eating flaming hot cheetos, and watching fucking golden girls! ADAM James can you calm down, please? JAMES Adam, my kid is going to be raised by a homicidal lunatic. I just need to make sure Leah is safe. As a father you need to understand that. ADAM That’s why I’m here James. To help, it’s why I have been here the whole time. JAMES Thank you, but then help me. Pablo lets out a loud crunching noise as he bites into a Cheeto and begins chewing very loudly. James points at Pablo. JAMES (CONT’D) And here, I don’t see how this will help.

51. PABLO Like seriously, fuck Golden Girls this is going to be a fucking cool day. I thought I’d see my homie Reynaldo, but fuck that dude he’s always stealing from me anyway. VOICE (V.O.) Pablo was getting ahead of himself for Reynaldo would make a surprise appearance in the near futurePablo freaks out and throws his bag of chips in the air out of shock. He reaches under his coffee table, pulls out a pair of sai and begins looking around the room as if he is going to hit someone with it. PABLO What the fuck was that! Who said that? JAMES He does that. The voice continues to speak after being interrupted. VOICE (V.O.) - Ahem. Pablo was correct, for his friend Reynaldo had died earlier that day in an unrelated incident. Pablo gets really sad and sits back down. PABLO Awe really man? Fuck, you know, I talk shit, but I’m gonna miss that pinche puta. VOICE (V.O.) Pablo was overcome with sadness, fortunately a beautiful moment was waiting in the wind between himself and Reynaldo. He would see him again. Adam speaks to Pablo. ADAM Wait. Pablo how can you see dead people? James bites.

52. JAMES Yeah, all day you’ve been the living only person who’s been able to interact with us. Pablo solemnly exclaims.

Awe shit? What? Am I dead?

PABLO ADAM PABLO

Pablo has a brief freak out. Adam tries to comfort him. Before Pablo starts laughing. PABLO (CONT’D) I’m kidding, I know I’m not dead Pablo takes a minute and looks around his apartment and then speaks to himself trying to reassure himself. PABLO (CONT’D) Yeah, I’m not dead Pablo takes a huge bong rip, and comes up exhaling a huge cloud of smoke. PABLO (CONT’D) My grandmother used to smoke this very bongPablo points to a bag of really, seedy nasty looking weed PABLO (CONT’D) -Using that weed right there and she would talk about how she could speak to the dead. James mocks Pablo. JAMES Right, of course. PABLO She would say how she could see them when she smoked this shit. Like just around, it made her like… Clairvoyant. Like that ghost movie. What’s it called?

53. Adam looks at James excitedly. James speaks up in annoyance.

Ghost?

JAMES

PABLO No not that one. Adam correct James. ADAM He’s talking about the other one with Patrick Swayze. PABLO Yeah that one! JAMES Yes I know! Demi Moore, Patrick Swayze, it’s got a 7.0 on IMDB: Ghost! You know what! What am I doing! I don’t care about this! ADAM James, shh! CUT TO: SMALL VILLIAGE EXT. SMALL VILLIAGE - DAY Pablo’s story takes them back to his grandma’s village in Mexico. We see people interacting with each other as the guys speak off screen. PABLO (V.O.) My grandmother grew up in a small village. Actually, no… JAMES (V.O) No? What do you mean no? CUT TO: PUERTO VALLARTA INT. SEEDY PUERTO VALLARTA APARTMENT - DAY Pablo corrects his story and on screen we see it happening real time.

54. PABLO (V.O.) I mean, it wasn’t a village it was Puerto Vallarta and she lived by herself selling weed to all the Americans who came there to vacation in the 60’s. She would get into crazy shit man. She would do all kinds of drugs and have some hardcore sex parties with the gringos on spring break. She was a hardcore motherfucker man. One time, her provider came to her and told her that he had this new weed called “The Afterlife.” She asked him why was it called that? And the guy told her it’s because it’ll make you see fucking dead people man. CUT TO: PABLO’S GARDEN APARTMENT JAMES This is ridiculous! PABLO Is it? Is it as ridiculous as you guys talking to me right now? You know what Adam, I don’t like this guy. He comes into my house. He keeps his shoes on. He is rude to me and he keeps interrupting my story. ADAM James apologize. JAMES I’m not going to apologize! We are running out of time, my kid’s birthday is in an hour! PABLO Then I’m not going to help you. Pablo crosses his arms and looks away from James. JAMES God damn it seriously?

55. PABLO I do not appreciate that language when I am telling a story about my abuelita. JAMES Fuck! Fine Pablo, I am sorry for interrupting. Please continue. Pablo sits there still not looking at him. What?!

JAMES (CONT’D)

Adam softly speaks under his breath to James. ADAM The language, James apologize about the language. James looks at both of them with anger, but he’s holding it inside himself. JAMES I apologize about my language. Will you please continue? Pablo turns back to James. PABLO Thank you James, it means a lot that you would apologize to me. It takes a brave man to admit his mistakes. CUT TO: SEEDY APARTMENT PABLO (V.O) (CONT’D) Anyway, when I got older I was visiting her. My sister and I see her talking to people. We thought she was going crazy and then she let us get high with her. We we’re like 12 and it was my first time. We got so high off that shit that we started seeing dead people. It was the shit man. I wasn’t scared. Pssh, Fuck that man. CUT TO: PABLO’S APARTMENT.

56. PABLO (CONT’D) She found out where it was grown and how to keep making it. She passed it on to me when she died. Never even sold it to anyone. She made me swear not to let anyone smoke it but our family. Why?

JAMES

PABLO I don’t know man, she was my grandma alright. She had rules you know! JAMES Wow! Really glad you went through that whole thing with us Pablo. James walks away from them as Adam shushes James’ tantrum. ADAM Pablo, does Linda still buy weed from you? PABLO Hey, you know I don’t discuss my other clients matters publicly. I perform a service here, and I promise them that I will be discreet in my dealings. Pablo gestures to James. Adam and Pablo tuck into a corner of the couch in a huddle. James looks on in annoyance. Adam and Pablo speak to each other quietly. It’s supposed to be in secrecy but James can hear. ADAM So does she? PABLO Oh yeah she totally does. Is he looking? ADAM I don’t know, but can we use that weed once? PABLO I don’t know man, my grandma was super specific not to do that.

57. ADAM It’s just this once man, I promise it won’t be an issue. PABLO Fuck… alright! You know I can’t say no to you. Pablo and Adam break from their huddle. James agitated, speaks to the guys. JAMES You done? Look, I don’t think this is a good plan. What do you want to do? Get my five year old high at her birthday party so I can tell her about her mom. You think that won’t damage a kid?! ADAM No James I wasn’t thinking that. I was thinking we could talk to Linda and tell her what happened. We could tell her the situation and try to get her help your kid maybe after we went with her to my kid’s baseball game. James is livid. JAMES Your kid’s baseball game! Are you fucking kidding me?! ADAM It’s important! JAMES No it’s not, it’s fucking little league! ADAM Look, I get that you think that I’m a fuck up okay. I’m sorry I don’t live in some gated neighborhoodAdam points to pablo. ADAM (CONT’D) - and this is someone I can count on to try and help us. And that you don’t like that!

58. JAMES That’s not what this is about, we’re wasting time! ADAM And sure I like to baked because it helps me not think about all of the things I have fucked up, but we have something in common. James mocks Adam. JAMES What, that we are both dead? ADAM No, We’re both fathers. You don’t think I’m worried about my kid? You don’t think I’ve been thinking about what he’s going to think? How he’s not going to have me around? I care about that James. JAMES Okay Adam, I get that, but I think my situation is a little more dire and we need to take care of mine now. My wife, she’s just about ready to send my daughter down a really dark path considering she’s a psycho. All for my life insurance policy. Oh and she’s the one who fucking murdered me! Adam stands up and matches James’ anger. ADAM Yeah and in turn she murdered me too! You owe me! JAMES I don’t owe you anything, Adam! ADAM James all goddamn day, we’ve seen what Leah was up to. We’ve talked about her. How she’s is doing. How I left her fatherless. Did you ever stop to ask me how Tommy is doing? James crosses his arms.

59. ADAM (CONT’D) -Or how Linda is doing? Even stop to consider asking me if I would like to go check on my kid? Yes he’s having his first game today and I’d like to see it. He’s a good kid and he doesn’t deserve this to happen. A silence befalls on the room. Adam looks into the ground. ADAM (CONT’D) He’s a smart kid. Smarter than I ever was and Linda I mean what am I going to do. I’ll never get to be her with her again. Adam turns to James. ADAM (CONT’D) You aren't the only one having a bad day... Good friends help each other. They don’t take advantage of each other. James gets in Adam’s face. JAMES We are not friends! We’re not even acquaintances and you know what? I don’t care anymore! I don’t need your help. You do whatever you have to do okay. You go tell your burnout ex-girlfriend that her drugged up burnout ex-boyfriend died after getting fired and throwing a fucking tantrum like my 5 year old would. Adam punches James in the face. He falls to the ground. JAMES (CONT’D) Fuck! Why did that hurt?! James gets up and starts to leave. JAMES (CONT’D) You know what Adam, fuck you. I’m done. I’m going home! Adam starts to walk after James, but Pablo stops him. James leaves the apartment in anger.

60. PABLO Come on man forget about him, let’s go see Linda. They start to walk off to Craig’s car. PABLO (CONT’D) You gotta drive though man, I’m super fuckin’ high. INT. CAR - DAY Sad Coldplay-ish music plays over the sequence of shots as first Pablo is in the passenger seat with Adam. Both are quiet. Adam is driving with an upset look on his face. CUT TO: JAMES WALKING HOME EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - DAY James is walking down his street to his old home. He has a similar upset look on his face as he walks by families on the sidewalk and in their houses. James stuffs his hands into his pockets and sulks. CUT TO: CAR Adam stops at a red light. He turns to see a soccer game being played in a park. Adam stays sad at this sight, thinking of his son. He gets honked at as the light turns green. Adam drives off. CUT TO: JAMES HOME. James stands in his backyard as a moonbounce is being assembled. He looks over to see Craig paying a vary sadistic looking clown. The clown has facepaint, wacky hair, and a red nose. He’s wearing an ed hardy t shirt and baggy bootcut jeans. James has this “what the” face on him due to the way the clown looks. CUT TO: CAR Adam looks at a couple in a car. They are fighting. He smiles a bit as they argue. He looks away and holds back tears. He looks back at him. They seem to be pointing in and talking about his general direction. He looks around himself. Their conversation becomes specifically about his area. He waves at them. They make the gesture to roll down your window. Adam looks around again and then does it.

61. BOYFRIEND How are you doing that? Adam doesn’t know what to think. I’m sorry? Hey, guy!

ADAM GIRLFRIEND

We see their perspective. They see a car driving itself with Pablo in the passenger seat. Pablo finally turns to them. PABLO Oh, me? What’s up? GIRLFRIEND What is this? How are you driving? Pablo looks at Adam and then around the car. He responds after a moment. We see it from their perspective. PABLO Oh shit man, self driving car. You know like Teslas. The couple accept this information. As they roll up the window they argue some more. GIRLFRIEND See I told you. I don’t know why you think I’m so stupid. BOYFRIEND Maybe it’s because you are. GIRLFRIEND Yeah? Well you have a tinyThe window closes. Adam and Pablo keep driving. CUT TO: JAMES’ HOUSE INT. LEAH’S BEDROOM - DAY James sits in his daughter’s bedroom. He strokes her hair as she sits on her bed with her monkey. She can’t feel him there. JAMES Hey little monkey.

62. She sits there silent. JAMES (CONT’D) Daddy loves you so much. James becomes emotional. JAMES (CONT’D) I’m so sorry I can’t be here for you. That I never learned how to correctly put your hair into a ponytail. That I never showed you how a man was really supposed to treat a woman. I’m sorry that I won’t get the chance to kiss your forehead when you go sleep at night. That I can’t share a movie night with you. That I can’t spoil you anymore. That there won’t be any daddy-daughter dances for us. That I’m going to miss the part where you start to hate me and think I’m weird. And then the part where you need me again. The part where you want me to drive you and your friends to the movies or to high school practices. I won’t be able to scare boyfriends away. I won’t be able to not approve of your weird boyfriends in high school. I won’t be able to get to know the love of your life or walk you down the aisle when you get older. I’m sorry I can’t give you advice on how to parent your kids or remind you that you were a kid once and to just be patient. I’m so sorry that I can’t take you to the zoo this weekend. James laughs as he cries. JAMES (CONT’D) No, you’re gonna be okay. You are. You’re gonna be fine. Karen walks into the room. KAREN Honey your friends are going to be here any moment. James looks at her with anger mixed with sadness.

63.

Okay.

LEAH

Craig come into the room. James sadness turns to full rage as he comes nearer. CRAIG Now, I know you’re sad about your daddy, but you’ve got Craig today. Craig caresses Leah’s head to comfort her. James stands up and snaps. JAMES Don’t you fucking touch her! Craig is oblivious as he sits in James spot and holds Leah. CRAIG I’m sorry about what happened to your daddy Leah, but I’ll take care of you now. Kay sweetheart? He kisses the top of her head. James closes his eyes and turns his head away. KAREN Put on your dress honey. A dress that doesn’t fit Leah’s personality is hanging from her closet door. She looks at it. LEAH Can I have a minute with Muffins? Karen implodes. KAREN Okay that’s enough of that! She walks over and grabs muffins from Leah and throws him in the garbage. KAREN (CONT’D) No more muffins! He isn’t real! He never was real! And it’s about time you learn that! Leah has tears in her eyes. KAREN (CONT’D) Get dressed now, or I’m sending everyone home and there will be no birthday!

64. James lowers his head. He can’t believe what he is seeing. Leah starts to cry harder. LEAH But I’m sad about dad. KAREN Oh boohoo. Stop crying, people leave you Leah! People will leave you forever! You should already know this! You’re father wasn’t around, he didn’t take care when you were hurt. He couldn’t be bothered Leah! Because he didn’t love you! Understand?! James starts to cry at this thought. Shaking his head as if to disagree with Karen. KAREN (CONT’D) Leah, Craig and I are here. You don’t need anything else. No monkeys! And no more talking about dad. He’s gone. Get it?! Leah shakes her head like she understands. She grabs her dress and runs to the bathroom crying. Craig and Karen leave the room. James is left in the room by himself. He sits on the bed with a solemn look. EXT BAR - DAY Adam and Pablo pull up to the bar in Craig’s car. They sit in the car for a moment. ADAM So is she coming? PABLO Yeah she’ll come. She usually doesn’t miss her afternoon bomber. Adam turns the car off. ADAM Alright, good. PABLO Hey man, if you wanna like bolt or something? ADAM No man, where am I gonna go?

65. PABLO I hear you. ADAM Just… I have to talk to her one more time. A moment passes. Pablo speaks to Adam. PABLO Look, if you’re just my brain getting fried or whatever that’s cool. I wasn’t going to be doing much today anyway. ADAM I’m really here Pablo. PABLO -Or maybe you’re just a part of my conscience. I don’t know. Adam looks at Pablo in his eyes. PABLO (CONT’D) I don’t know man! I’m fuckin’- I’m… I’m fuckin’ so high right now. The back door to Adam’s bar opens. Linda comes walking out fast in a zip up hoodie shouting at someone inside. LINDA I know, I know. I’ll be fucking five minutes… Fuck. The door slams behind her. She sits next to the building. She puts her hands on her head and starts to cry. LINDA (CONT’D) You fucking idiot. You fucking asshole. Why did you leave me? What am I supposed to do? Adam is overwhelmed with sadness and fights back tears of his own. PABLO You still want to do this man? Adam shakes his head “yes.” Pablo takes a deep breath and gets out of the car. He walks over to Linda PABLO (CONT’D) Hey, uh, hey Lin.

66. Linda wipes her eyes dry. Hey.

LINDA

PABLO You still want your weed right? Linda stands up and dusts herself off. LINDA Yeah for sure, sorry about that. PABLO No problem. It’s cool. Pablo looks back at Adam who gestures him to keep going. LINDA You alright. PABLO Who me? Oh you know I’m good baby. Linda laughs for a couple seconds and then starts to tear up. Pablo hugs her. LINDA This day just sucks. She cries for a couple seconds and then she backs away. LINDA (CONT’D) You probably heard about Adam then? PABLO Yeah, I’m sorry. LINDA It’s okay. What do you have? Pablo fidgets with his pockets. He pulls out his bag of weed. “The Afterlife” bag. LINDA (CONT’D) That’s what you have? PABLO It’s good shit Lin. Linda rolls her eyes. She needs some form of suppressant. Okay.

LINDA

67. Pablo rolls her a blunt as Adam walks to the side of Pablo. Pablo finishes the blunt and gives it to Linda. She smokes it and then coughs violently. LINDA (CONT’D) Oh my god that’s terrible. It takes like cat piss. What is that? I feel like I’m going to throw up. Linda opens her eyes after coughing. Adam appears first in focus and then out of focus and then back in focus. Linda squints to see Adam. Adam waves at her. LINDA (CONT’D) Wow, Pablo. This is good shit. Linda passes out. After a moment of blackness she wakes up to see Pablo and Adam standing over her. Holy shit!

LINDA (CONT’D)

Linda starts to freak out. ADAM Wait. Wait. LINDA Pablo what the fuck is this shit? Pablo smiles PABLO It’s fucking good right. LINDA Why am I seeing Adam? PABLO Oh, he’s a ghost. Linda jokes about being on board with this idea. Oh cool.

LINDA

Adam pleads with Linda. ADAM Linda it’s true you have to believe me. I just wanted to talk to you. Linda is unsure what to make of this.

68. LINDA Okay! Well, if you’re really Adam tell me something only Adam would know. ADAM Okay, uhm on your first birthday we spent together I took you to the Fair because you told me on one of our first dates that you really liked carnie games. You said, “I love the games at carnivals, but I can’t stand the people that work the games. They give me the creeps.” Linda looks Adam in the eyes. ADAM (CONT’D) And then, you threw up on the swings ride. Linda starts to think about it and then stops herself. LINDA Okay, okay wait. That’s something I remember. So maybe, I’m just so high that I’m hallucinating you. PABLO That’s a possibility yo. ADAM Linda it’s me, I swear! Linda comes up with an idea. LINDA Okay, uhm how about you tell me something that involves us but only you would know… What?

ADAM

Adam’s eyes go wide. LINDA Do you have something to tell me? Adam hesitates and then speaks.

69. ADAM Uhm… uh okay. Uhm. So, you remember that whole situation when you thought I had slept with your sister. Linda is ready for him to admit it. Mhm.

LINDA

ADAM The whole, like, main reason why we broke up. Linda quickly retorts. LINDA Yeah I remember. Well uh…

ADAM

Pablo looks at a watch that isn’t there. PABLO Oh shit man, look at the time. I gotta… I gotta go… back to the car. Adam clears his throat as Pablo leaves and walks back to the car. I…

ADAM

Adam takes a deep breath. ADAM (CONT’D) I slept with her. I did. I’m sorry. I was so drunk and so high. I couldn’t feel anything. It was like fucking mashed potatoes with a boiled carrot. It was the worst thing that could have ever happened. I hate every day having to think about that. Linda sighs. LINDA Yeah, it’s you. Just then Dave comes outside shouting.

70. DAVE Hey! What are you doing out here? Are you smoking weed? LINDA Fuck. Yeah Dave, I am. Dave walks up to her and then changes his tune. DAVE It’s all good, you just gotta let me know first, you know. Dave takes the blunt and inhales a huge amount. DAVE (CONT’D) You see Linda, I’m cool. What’s not cool is Adam stealing my car. Dave starts to cough. DAVE (CONT’D) Now I know you guys have history but we have to talkDave starts to see Adam DAVE (CONT’D) Oh hey Adam. Dave takes a second and then freaks out. DAVE (CONT’D) Woah! What the fuck?! Adam gets fed up with the freak outs. ADAM Alright Dave calm down. DAVE What do you mean? Calm… Calm down? What… what are you alive? Did you fake this? Where’s my car? ADAM No I’m super dead Dave and I… I’m really not sure about your car. Dave turns to Linda. DAVE Are you seeing this shit?

71. Dave takes a second and then reaches out and touches Adam. He can actually feel him. He freaks out. Ahh!

DAVE (CONT’D)

Adam controls Dave. ADAM Dave! Calm down, you’re hallucinating. I am?!

DAVE

ADAM Yeah, I’m dead. It’s impossible for me to really be here. Alright!

DAVE

ADAM Can you go inside for a minute? Dave looks at Linda and then back at Adam. DAVE Yeah… Yeah, I’ve got a bar to run. Yeah. I’m okay. Dave walks into the bar. We follow him into the bar. DAVE (CONT’D) I’m fine. I’m fine. INT. BAR - DAY Dave sees tons of ghosts as he walks through the kitchen and to the bar. He stands behind the bar as ghosts sit looking at him. He tries to hold it together. Also sitting there is the male cop from earlier, he is off duty and is dressed like it. He speaks to dave. MALE POLICE OFFICER As I was Saying, this widow is like a 9.7 out of 10 right and she’s totally digging my game okay. She hasn’t called but… but she will. They always do. The officer drinks his beer. Dave laughs very loudly and awkwardly as he looks at his ghost infested bar.

72. He turns his head quickly as a ghost pours beer from behind the bar from a tap the ghost sniffs the beer and drinks it. The ghost looks him in the eyes. GHOST Hey, I think your beer lines are dirty. The cop notices that the tap appeared to have pulled open by itself. MALE POLICE OFFICER You gotta fix your taps man. Dave turns to the cop. Dave is wearing a very concerned look on his face. CUT TO: OUTSIDE THE BAR. EXT. BAR - DAY Adam and Linda sit together watching the sunset. Linda is in Adam’s arms. LINDA How long can you stay? ADAM I don’t know. Probably not a good idea if I stay too long. I guess... you guys should get a chance to move on, you know? Linda grabs his hand and kisses it. LINDA This sucks you do know that? ADAM Yeah, yeah I know. LINDA I really don’t know what I’m going to say to Tommy. Adam thinks for a minute. ADAM Tell him I love him. It’s the truth. Linda gets emotional.

73.

Yeah…

LINDA

Adam starts to get honest with Linda ADAM I wish, I had cleaned things up sooner. Between us. Linda looks at him. ADAM (CONT’D) I just… I feel really bad about the way I treated you. I should have been there more. I shouldn’t have fucked around with other people. I should have stuck by you when we had Tommy and not been wishy washy for fuck 9 years now. It just sucks that I can’t make it up to you. Linda holds him by the cheek. LINDA Most people never get the chance to say or do what you’re saying and doing. Linda kisses Adam passionately. A spark of energy shoots from their mouths and causes some car alarms to go off. Wow.

LINDA (CONT’D)

ADAM I wish I could stay forever. Linda laughs. LINDA Yeah, but you can’t. They look at each other for a moment. I-

ADAM

LINDA Don’t say you’re sorry again. It’s okay. We’re gonna be okay.

74. ADAM I love you. From the day I met you, I always loved you. I’ll never stop loving you. Adam nods his head. Linda smiles. After a brief moment she speaks. LINDA What are you still doing here? Adam is confused. LINDA (CONT’D) You’re here for a reason right? I mean you have to be, but it can’t be to tell me that you love me. I know that. Tommy knows that. What are you still doing here? ADAM Maybe I want to see Tommy’s first home run. Linda laughs. LINDA Well, you know when the game is. Adam smiles. LINDA (CONT’D) You might not think it, but you were a good dad. Not a good example, but a good dad. Adam laughs and then turns somber. ADAM No, I’m a dead-beat, but I know what a good dad looks like. Linda looks at him confused. Adam smiles at her. ADAM (CONT’D) Can we just sit here? Linda ...Of course. Linda nuzzles into Adam

75. EXT. PARTY - EVENING James walks around Leah’s birthday party. He is in front Craig trolling him by slapping plates out of his hands and flipping things over. Craig exclaims introspectively. CRAIG Jeepers, windier than I thought! JAMES Oh is it Craig! Craig walks to where all the kids are. CRAIG Ladies, who’s ready for cake! All the girls cheer for cake except for Leah. She runs back into the house and to her room. Craig sees this and looks to Karen who is on the phone with an insurance agent. KAREN I just don’t see why it would take 2 weeks to get a life insurance check! What do you mean there has to be an investigation?! He crashed his car! Craig looks back at Leah’s room with concern. INT. LEAH’S ROOM - EVENING Leah bursts into her room she closes and locks the door. She steps back a couple of steps to reveal James behind her. His face is still very sad as she grabs Muffins from the trash and sits on her bed. She starts to cry into her monkey. VOICE (V.O.) James tries to console his daughter, but to avail. His fingers are too cold from death’s grip. James ignores the voice this time and continues to console his daughter as he begins to cry. Hey.

ADAM (V.O)

Adam appears in the room with James. JAMES What are you doing here?

76. ADAM I wanted to see how you were doing? James gestures to his daughter crying. JAMES It’s her birthday. Yeah.

ADAM

James holds back tears. JAMES How’s uh... Linda and Tommy? Adam shrugs. ADAM They’re going to be okay. James is doing a bad job at keeping his sadness to himself. JAMES Good. Good. A moment of silence passes between James and Adam. ADAM I care about Tommy a lot. I would do anything for him. I’d give anything to talk to him. One last time. Tell him that I love him. It sucks, our situation. James looks at Adam. JAMES Yeah it does. James takes a deep breath, stands up, and walks toward Adam. James speaks to Adam. JAMES (CONT’D) Should we go then? Where?

ADAM

JAMES Fuck, Adam. Anywhere. Leah speaks just as James is about to leave the room.

77.

Dad?

LEAH

James turns to look at Leah. She continues to cry. LEAH (CONT’D) Dad, if you’re out there, if you can hear me; I know you love me. I’m just really sad. I just miss you. I don’t want a new dad, but I don’t know what to do. James and Adam start to tear up. LEAH (CONT’D) I just want you to know I’m not mad at you and I’ll never forget you. James starts to cry. It’s a full blown tears flowing which is a first. A weird noise happens in the background. James looks on as Muffins has come to life. Wooooah!

MUFFINS/ADAM

James looks around, but cannot see Adam anymore. Adam has possessed Muffins. Muffins gestures to James to be quiet. Muffins?!

LEAH

Adam portrays Muffins’ voice to be very high and sweet. MUFFINS/ADAM Uhh, Hi Leah! LEAH Muffins, why are you talking like that? James speaks to Muffins/Adam. JAMES More creepy, lower. Muffins speaks to James. MUFFINS/ADAM Really? Weird kid. Leah looks in the direction Muffins is talking. Muffins covers up his mistake and starts speaking in his familiar voice.

78. MUFFINS/ADAM (CONT’D) I’m sorry little girl. Muffins has a monkey cold! Leah laughs. LEAH It’s okay Muffins, I knew you were real! MUFFINS/ADAM Of course I am! Now listen carefully Leah, because I have something very important to tell you! Leah listens on intently. MUFFINS/ADAM (CONT’D) Your father loves you very much. He loves you more than you can imagine. LEAH Can you talk to him? Muffins looks in James’ direction.

I can!

MUFFINS/ADAM

Leah looks that way too. LEAH What’s he saying Muffins?! James looks on and fumbles with his words. JAMES I’m… I’m sayingJames and Muffins/Adam say the same words at the same time. JAMES & MUFFINS/ADAM I love you little monkey. Don’t ever change. Don’t ever be who you’re not. Love with all your heart and give to the world passionately. Do everything you want to do. Don’t be scared. I’ll always be here for you. I will always always be here for you.

79. James, Muffins/Adam, and Leah say these last words together. JAMES, MUFFINS/ADAM, & LEAH Until the end of forevers. Leah hugs Muffins/Adam. He is shocked by the hug but eventually smiles and hugs her back. They break from the hug and we see Craig in the doorway with his hand on the doorknob, he has heard everything. James turns and notices him too. Muffins/Adam sees this last. Craig lets out a loud, very high scream. Ahhhhh!

CRAIG

Muffins/Adam looks at Craig but speaks to Leah MUFFINS/ADAM Leah go into the bathroom and shut the door. Leah runs into the bathroom and closes the door. Muffins/Adam turns to Craig MUFFINS/ADAM (CONT’D) Listen here motherfucker, you’ve got maybe 5 minutes of freedom before the cops show up, so I have a couple words for you. First off, I don’t have any clue how you nail a woman like Karen. CRAIG Huh, cops?! Muffins/Adam grabs Craig by the collar. MUFFINS/ADAM That isn’t important! How did you get a woman like that to sleep with you! James yells to Muffins/Adam Adam?!

Huh!

JAMES

MUFFINS/ADAM

James puts his arms into the air as if to say “what are you doing?”

80. MUFFINS/ADAM (CONT’D) Ah shit, right. Look Craig! The cops are on their way. They know about the brakes that were cut and if I were you I would be fucking scared as shit because you’re an accessory to murder! Craig is on the verge of tears. CRAIG I didn’t know she was going to kill him Muffins. I swear! MUFFINS/ADAM That’s too bad Craig! Craig freaks out. James looks on. MUFFINS/ADAM (CONT’D) Now here’s what you’re gonna do Craig. You’re going to confess. As soon as the cops get here you are going to confess to the murders of Adam Thompson and James… Muffins/Adam gestures to James to get his last name. JAMES Manatobe. (Pronounced Man-i-toby) Muffins/Adam speaks to James directly MUFFINS/ADAM Manatobe?! Really? Ugh! Craig looks scared but confused. What?

CRAIG

Muffins/Adam snaps. MUFFINS/ADAM Shut up, Craig! Craig freaks out MUFFINS/ADASM You will confess to the murders of Adam Thompson and James Manatobe! Craig musters up courage.

81. CRAIG You can’t tell me what to do, you’re a monkey. Muffins/Adam throws craig into the wall of the bedroom. The impact makes a big dent in the wall as Craig falls to the floor. Muffins/Adam comes over and picks him up. MUFFINS/ADAM What did you say? CRAIG Okay! Okay, I’ll confess!As Craig pleads James looks at Muffins/Adam. Muffins/Adam looks back at him they both let out a small smile it goes on for a couple moments as James nods as if to say thank you. EXT. JAMES’ HOUSE - EVENING The female cop has handcuffed Karen outside and is taking her away. KAREN What is happening?! FEMALE POLICE OFFICER Shut up! We know what you did. Me?!

KAREN

FEMALE POLICE OFFICER Yeah we got an anonymous tip saying that we should check the brake lines of your husbands car. We found them cut and CSI led us here where we matched a knife to that matched the cut markings which had your fingerprints on it. Karen pleads with the cop. KAREN It’s a knife in my house of course it has my fingerprints. That doesn’t mean anything. Craig comes out of the house crying he is handcuffed by the Male cop. CRAIG I’m sorry sweetheart! I confessed!

82. Karen tries to get Craig to shut up. KAREN What the fuck are you talking about Craig?! CRAIG The jig is up we’re finished! The male cop pushes Craig out of frame. He shouts off screen. CRAIG (V.O) (CONT’D) The monkey made me do it! He made me! Karen hears that and looks around and then up to the window in Leah’s room. She sees Muffins telling her to “Suck It” DX style. She looks on in shock and amazement as she’s dragged off. The cops put craig in the car and then the male cop stops the female cop. He gestures his partner to get the car started. He looks Karen in the eyes. KAREN Officer please, this is a big misunderstanding. The cop looks her up and down and then responds. MALE POLICE OFFICER Lose my number. He puts her in the cop car and then drives off. CUT TO: LEAH’S BEDROOM Muffins/Adam waves goodbye sarcastically to Craig and Karen. The door opens to Leah’s bathroom. Leah comes out. She runs and hugs Muffins/Adam. He hugs her back. LEAH I love you. MUFFINS/ADAM I love you too Leah. Muffins/Adam looks at James. He closes his eyes tight. Adam appears outside Muffins and gestures at James to “do it.” James closes his eyes tightly and possesses Muffins. James doesn’t mask his voice. Leah?

MUFFINS/JAMES

83.

Yeah?

LEAH

Muffins/James looks at Adam and then back at Leah. MUFFINS Don’t ever forget. Daddy loves you! LEAH I won’t Daddy. Muffins/James hugs Leah very tightly. Cops enter the room to come get Leah. Adam and James appear standing together as they watch the cops console Leah. She leaves the room in the arms of a cop with Muffins in her hand. EXT. BASEBALL GAME - NIGHT James and Adam sit together next to Pablo and Linda. They are still high so they can still interact with James and Adam. ADAM So what’s going to happen to Leah? JAMES I don’t know. I think she’ll stay with her grandmother. Whatever happens I’ll keep an eye on it. ADAM I hear ya. Can’t interfere too much though you know? James genuinely responds with laughter. JAMES Oh yeah, of course. ANNOUNCER And now up to bat, Tommy Thompson! The small crowd cheers. JAMES You named your kid Tom Thompson Adam starts to clap and half ignores James. ADAM Don’t start this. Come on Tommy! VOICE (V.O.) Tommy looks into the bleacher seats. He cannot see his father. (MORE)

84. VOICE (V.O.) (CONT'D) An overwhelming sadness comes over the boy. Adam looks upward and then speaks to the voice. ADAM What, seriously? You’re doing this to me now? Adam turns to James ADAM (CONT’D) This guy man. A first pitch comes. Tommy doesn’t swing. VOICE (V.O.) The first pitch comes in as a hitable strike. Tommy doesn’t even swing. Adam speaks to James. ADAM How did you deal with this guy? A second pitch comes Tommy half swings but is too sad to hit. VOICE (V.O.) Strike two, says the umpire. James sees Adam and Linda cheering on their son. James is moved and transports next to Tommy. Adam sees him do this. Adam stands in the crowd. Inspiring sports music plays in the background. Tommy gets a strong feeling of courage. He points past the outfield. The other kids laugh at him. The pitcher winds up and throws the fastest ball ever thrown by a 7 year old. Tommy closes his eyes as he swings as hard as he can. Tommy makes a connection with the ball which exudes an immense amount of power. Adam, Linda, and even Pablo who has a blunt in his mouth look on to see that the ball is flying toward the outfield. It is going so fast and so far. Just as fast, an outfielder is galloping toward the ball en route to steal the home run from Tommy. The outfielder reaches in the air, the ball almost in his glove. Right then, from out of nowhere, James slaps the glove away from the ball. Adam smiles as Tommy hits a homerun to win his team the game. The team carries Tommy off the field as he touches home plate. Linda and even Pablo, blunt in his mouth, are there in the crowd of people cheering for Tommy. Linda looks at the bleachers to see no one there.

85. EXT. CAR - NIGHT Adam and James are still driving Craig’s car. The voice speaks VOICE (V.O.) The two friends drive Craig’s car on the open road, which at this point is considered ghost-stolen. The guys laugh to each other softly. Adam speaks from his heart. ADAM Thanks back there. That was really cool. JAMES Of course man. What are friends for? The Voice speaks again VOICE (V.O.) Ghostly friends. Adam and James speak simultaneously. Shut up!

ADAM & JAMES

A moment of quiet passes. A crane shot happens, watching the car pass in the distance on down the long road. Adam speaks up. ADAM (V.O.) You know I couldn’t help but think about how much that was just like that Ghost 2: Phantom Baseball. JAMES (V.O.) Adam please, don’t do this. ADAM (V.O.) Come on, it’s when P-Sway, and a bunch of other ghosts play baseball and help this really bad team play better. JAMES (V.O.) I think you’re talking about Angels in the Outfield but I can’t be sure.

86. ADAM (V.O.) Oh dude! We should see what Swayze is up to! A moment of quiet passes. JAMES (V.O.) Meh! Why not? THE END.