EMOTIONAL FIRST AID: How to be a good 'band-aid' for children From: TRAUMA THROUGH A CHILD'S EYES BY PETER LEVINE & MAGGIE KLINE

1. CHECK YOUR OWN BODY'S RESPONSE FIRST Children are very sensitive to the emotional states of adults, especially their caregivers. Take the time to check your own level of fear or concern. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Repeat until you can establish a sense of calm.

3. AS THE SHOCK WEARS OFF, GUIDE YOUR CHILD'S ATTENTION TO HER SENSATIONS

2. ASSESS THE  SITUATION If a child shows signs of shock (glazed eyes, rapid or shallow pulse or breathing, disorientation, overly emotional or overly tranquil or acting like nothing has happened), ask the child to sit with you until the shock wears off.

Softly ask your child how she feels in her body - "How do you feel in your tummy (head, arm, leg, etc.)?" Guide your child  to stay with the present moment.  "How does the "owie" (sting, lump, etc.) feel now?" If the child is too Startled to speak, ask her to point to where it hurts. 

4. SLOW DOWN AND FOLLOW YOUR CHILD'S PACE BY CAREFUL OBSERVATIONS OF CHANGE Allow a minute or two of silence between questions. Your calm presence and patience will help the child to release her extra energy.  Be alert for cues that the shock is wearing off, such as a deep, relaxed, spontaneous breath, cessation of crying or trembling, a stretch, a yawn, a smile or making/breaking eye contact. Wait to see if another cycle beings.

5. KEEP VALIDATING YOUR CHILD'S PHYSICAL RESPONSES

6. TRUST IN YOUR CHILD'S INNATE ABILITY TO HEAL

Resist the impulse to stop your child's tears or trembling. 

Stay with the child. Be a safe container for her emotions.

remind her that whatever happened is over and she can let the scary stuff shake right out of Her. 

To avoid disrupting the process, don't shift the child's position, distract her attention or hold her too tightly. 

This part of the cycle usually takes a couple of minutes. 

Notice when your child begins to re-orient to the environment. It's a sign of completion. 

7. ENCOURAGE YOUR CHILD TO REST Deep charges generally continue during rest and sleep. Do not stir up discussions about the mishap by asking questions now. Later the child may want to tell the story, draw a picture or play it through.  If a lot of energy was mobilized, the release will continue. The next cycle may be too subtle for you to notice as the body gently vibrates, giving off heat, goes through the skin color changes, etc.

8. THE FINAL STEP IS TO ATTEND TO YOUR CHILD'S EMOTIONAL RESPONSES Later when your child is rested and calm even the next day - set aside some time for your child to share what happened.  Children often experience anger, fear, sadness, worry or embarrassment. Help your child to know that those feelings are normal and that you understand.  Support your child  by letting your child direct the play.

H AUM A T R T   : n o at i NE   i n fo r m M A G G I E K L I e r o m Fo r R L EV IN E & B Y P E TE

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