YOUNG & FAMOUS

DRAFT 1 10/10/17

Written by Becca Bennett & Laura Bess Draper

The Maidstone Studios University for the Creative Arts

1

INT. HALLWAY, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY

1

The SPACIOUS, AGED entryway is NATURALLY lit, with a VARIETY of photos on the wall - some in OLD, RUSTIC frames and others in CANVAS style- and ODDS AND ENDS on a sideboard by the stairs. DEAN DAVIS - 67, grey haired, old but with a SPRING IN HIS STEP - is PACING, IMPATIENTLY, back and forth, wearing dress pants, a belt, a sweater vest with a shirt underneath, and brightly coloured socks. He PEERS at the door every so often, as he passes by, and MUTTERS to himself. ANNIE (O.S.) (TO DEAN) If you keep going on like that, you’re going to pull something. Dean ROLLS HIS EYES, and SHAKES his head as he GLANCES at the watch on his arm. DEAN (more to himself) It should be here by now, why isn’t it here yet? 2

INT. LIVING ROOM, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY

2

The usually COSY and TIDY, living room is now CLUTTERED with sofa’s and a coffee table in ODD places. In the middle of the room is ANNIE DAVIS - 65, dyed blonde hair/brown hair, tries very hard to be young - wearing brightly coloured yoga pants, a workout top and trainers. A yoga mat is SPREAD across the floor, in front of the TV, and Annie is OCCUPIED following the yoga moves seen on the TV screen. ANNIE Patience is a virtue. I suppose there is a bright side to this? INTERCUT BETWEEN DEAN and ANNIE DEAN And that is? ANNIE You’re getting your steps up. Getting that smart watch was a good idea of mine wouldn’t you say dear? 3

INT. HALLWAY, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY Dean, looking at his watch, again, SHAKES his head. DEAN Ummm, yeah, sur--

3

2. The DOORBELL GOES OFF, Dean JUMPS up EXCITEDLY, barely containing his EXCITEMENT. My letter!

DEAN (CONT’D)

He RUSHES to the door, FLINGS it open, and his face FALLS. The delivery man is stood OPPOSITE, holding out a package. DELIVERY MAN Delievery for Annie Dav-4

INT. LIVING ROOM, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY

4

Annie STOPS what she is doing, and LEAPS from her mat. ANNIE My package! Annie JOGS out of the door. 5

INT. HALLWAY, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY

5

As Annie JOGS towards the door and retrieves her package, Dean is stood, HOLDING the door open, SULKING. ANNIE Thanks very much. Dean FLINGS the door SHUT, ANNOYANCE written all over his face, as Annie EXCITEDLY looks at her package. DEAN (Annoyed) Oh, grow up. Annie RUSHES to the kitchen, and at the same time, the DOORBELL GOES OFF again. Dean IMMEDIATELY copies Annie’s EXCITED reaction. Finally!

DEAN (CONT’D)

He RUSHES to get the door open, and his face FALLS once more, as the same Delivery Man GREETS him again. DELIVERY MAN Sorry, I forgot to get you to sign this. He hands out a clipboard in one hand, and a pen in the other. Dean RELUCTANTLY signs the paper and GRUMPILY shuts the door.

3. 6

INT. KITCHEN, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY

6

Dean SULKS into the CLEAN, BRIGHT kitchen. There are OAK cupboards around all of the walls, and a few utensils LAYING on the counter top. Annie is stood by the counter, with the CARDBOARD from her package SPREAD across the counter. Dean gets a mug out of the cupboard and FLICKS the kettle on. ANNIE It’s working! As Dean POURS hot water into his mug, Annie LIFTS the iPad in her hand as she GRINS and JIGS in excitement. Dean CARRIES his mug and STIRS the contents with a spoon as he WANDERS towards Annie. DEAN It’s just a tablet. ANNIE It’s not just a tablet, it’s an iPad. Dean TURNS his nose at the iPad. ANNIE (CONT’D) Now stop being a grouch and come take a selfie with me. Pardon?

DEAN

ANNIE A selfie, I need a Profile Picture for Instagram. Annie WAVES her hands at DEAN in a beckoning motion, Dean ROLLS HIS EYES and begrudgingly LEANS down before Annie PRESSES buttons on her iPad. As Annie and Dean STARE at the screen, GRINNING, they JUMP as they see BETTY-JO KING - 82, white bob, short, old but still lively - behind them. Betty is wearing a colorful dress with a bright cardigan and old flat shoes, with string glasses on, and she’s looking into the camera with a CREEPY face. Betty!

ANNIE & DEAN

Annie puts her iPad down, as they both turn towards Betty. BETTY-JO Well, hello you too.

4. ANNIE Hi! What brings you here? BETTY-JO I just came to congratulate Dean on his application for THE LAST DISH. Betty gives Dean a FLIRTY look. DEAN Oh, thankyou Betty, but I haven’t found out if I’ve been accepted yet. BETTY-JO You have nothing to worry about, trust me. Betty WINKS at Dean. DEAN Hang on... How did you get in the house? BETTY-JO That doesn’t matter. Oh, I almost forgot, I got you a gift. Annie, SLYLY, gives Dean a FUNNY look as Betty WHIPS out a wooden spoon. BETTY-JO (CONT’D) Its a wooden spoon, you can use it on the show! Dean tries to look GRATEFUL as he retrieves the spoon SUSPICIOUSLY. DEAN Betty, you shouldn’t have. His face goes from GRATEFULLY SUSPICIOUS to SHOCKED as he notices Betty’s face on one side of the spoon. Both him and Annie try their hardest to HIDE the HUMOUR on their face. DEAN (CONT’D) You really shouldn’t have. BETTY-JO Oh it’s no problem. You can think of me when you’re spanking your bread.

5. Betty WINKS at Dean, coming a little TOO CLOSE to Dean. Dean RAPIDLY looks at his watch. DEAN (Faking disappointment)Oh man, is that the time already? Dean starts to HERD Betty out of the kitchen. DEAN (CONT’D) Thanks for the gift Betty-7

INT. HALLWAY, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY

7

Dean continues to GENTLY PUSH Betty towards the front door. DEAN --but we have things to do, and-BETTY-JO Oh, don’t worry dear. I should be going, I’ve got some shopping to do. As they reach the door Betty TURNS around to face Dean with a FLIRTY SMILE on her face. BETTY-JO (CONT’D) Speaking of-Betty LIFTS up a ROBOTIC FURRY cat - ARNOLD - and SHOVES it into Dean’s arms. BETTY-JO (CONT’D) --can you take care of Arnold while I’m out? You know he doesn’t like to be alone. Dean is very CONFUSED as he looks down at the cat, but QUICKLY nods his head. DEAN Yes, sure, of course. He SWINGS the door open, HERDING Betty out of the door. Bye Betty!

BETTY-JO

BETTY-JO (CONT’D) Bye Arnold be good! (Flirtatiously) Bye Dean.

6. Dean QUICKLY shuts the door, IMMEDIATELY picking up the ‘BETTY BOX’ and DROPPING both the spoon and the cat in it. He puts the box back and HEADS back towards the kitchen. UNEXPECTEDLY, the DOORBELL RINGS again. DEAN Could this be my letter? He turns around, opens the door and is SURPRISED to see Betty STOOD outside, STARING at Dean in a very CREEPY way. He IMMEDIATELY shuts the door, and leans against it, with a SHOCKED expression on his face. DEAN (CONT’D) Definitely not my letter. Transition to cutaway of exterior. 8

INT. KITCHEN, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY

8

Dean is baking his show stopper cookies in his apron that Annie bought for him, it has a muscly man’s chest printed onto it. He has a concoction of ingredients that really should not belong in chocolate chip cookies. On the side next to him is a hand written recipe for DEAN’S SWEET AND SAVORY COOKIES. He has a large mixing bowl full of flower sugar, chocolate chips and eggs that he is mixing away at. Then Dean begins to add strange ingredients such as pickles, cheese, and orange peel mixing away happily. Annie enters with her iPad in hand shoving it in the way of Dean’s view of the cookie mixture. Dean is disinterested in anything but making the ‘perfect bake’. ANNIE Dean look at this recipe I’ve found. I think you could make a good crack at the title for the show with this. DEAN Not now Annie, I’m about to put the best cookies you’ll ever taste into the oven. Dean is separating the mixture into a baking tin. The mixture is sloppy and has pickle and orange peel sticking out of the individual balls of dough. Annie looks disgusted but trying to be supportive she turns back to her iPad to tell him about the recipe.

7. ANNIE It’s called Spaghetti Bolognese by Jamie Oliver and it looks delicious. DEAN Ahh, Spaghetti Bolognese, of course! Now that’s a meal I’ll always love. Dean puts on some oven mitts and carry’s the tray of cookies over to the oven. He delicately slide’s them in and closes the door slowly trying to keep sight of the cookies as he does. Like a child trying to see the light go off when closing a fridge door. ANNIE Yes you see, you’re interested now aren’t you. DEAN Well I wouldn’t say I’m bowled over with excitement but thats because my cookies are making me hungry. Don’t they look fabulous Annie? ANNIE (Looking unimpressed) yes dear, of course they do but I really think that maybe you should have left the pickles out? DEAN Oh no Annie, if I take the pickles out then it really won’t be a sweet and savoury cookie will it. ANNIE I think the cheese would have done that on its own Dean. DEAN Annie, you’ll never go far with an attitude like that in a competition all about experiments! They pause to stare at each other, feeling frustration at the lack of agreement. ANNIE Anyway... This Spaghetti Bolognese looks like a real winner.

8. DEAN Yeah, give it here and I’ll have a go. Annie passes him the iPad, never quite letting go of it. DEAN (CONT’D) Why this is nothing but an ordinary Bolognese! Oh gosh that’ll never get me anywhere in the competition. I dunno, I’m sure I’ll be able to change up some of the ingredients to make it more exciting. Annie nods slowly, fearing she’s losing all hope she remembers something that might salvage this doomed Bolognese. ANNIE Dean, do you remember the first time we had Spaghetti Bolognese? Dean looks away from the iPad and at Annie. DEAN Of course I do, it was our first proper date, all those years ago. You wanted to eat it Lady and the Tramp style. ANNIE Mmm yes I did, you remember how simple the Bolognese was and how much we enjoyed it? DEAN Yes it was delicious but I can’t really remember the flavours. I know I’ll make it inspired by that date! Do you think I could find a dog to put some of their hair in it? Make it inspired by Lady and the Tramp. Genius! Annie, Genius! Just as Annie is about to argue what a truly terrible idea that is the clock on the mantle piece begins its usual off beat chime that takes a good shaking to stop. DEAN (CONT’D) Oh no not again. I really wish you’d let me buy a new blasted clock!

9. ANNIE No! You know how much it means to me! They walk into the dining room where the clock is brokenly chiming. Dean picks it up and begins shaking it vigorously. ANNIE (CONT’D) Dean stop you’re going to break it! Dean hands the still chiming clock to Annie who is now trying to fiddle with the knobs on the back of the clock, and walks into the hallway towards the Betty Box. DEAN (Under his breath) Now wouldn’t that be a fine thing. Dean rummages around in the box and finds the wooden spoon that Betty gave him earlier that day. He picks the spoon out and then hears a MEOW behind him. Betty’s cat Arnold stands behind him, watching him. Dean stops and stares at the cat and a moment of unsure nervousness passes through him. DEAN (CONT’D) (Reassuring himself) It’s not real, it’s not real. He marches off with the spoon in hand leaving the cat Meowing behind. He returns to Annie who is still delicately fiddling with the clock. DEAN (CONT’D) Give it here. He forcefully takes the clock back and begins bashing it with Betty’s spoon. ANNIE NO! Dean what are you dong! That’s my Grandmother’s clock! DEAN It’s alright Annie it’ll be over in a second. The chiming begins to die down and return to normal.

10. DEAN (CONT’D) There, who’d have thought Betty’s junk would have come in useful. Seeing an opportunity to wind Dean up, ANNIE It’s not junk, they’re tokens of lurve. Dean raises the spoon with Betty’s face on it and shakes it at her. A crash is then heard in the garden that startles them both. ANNIE (CONT’D) My pansies! They both rush towards the back door where the neighbour CLAIRE is sat in the mud and grass. She is wearing blue jeans and a flannel top. Claire begins to crawl across the grass panickedly towards Annie and Dean at the back door. Claire?

ANNIE & DEAN

CLAIRE Shhhh! She’ll hear you! She pushes past them at the back door and goes into the house. DEAN Come in why don’t you. Annie nudges him in the ribs and puts on her best hostess smile. CLAIRE I’m sorry to intrude on you like this Annie but I really had to get out of there! SHE’S DRIVING ME INSANE! DEAN Oh and that’s my cookies calling, feel free to make yourself at home Claire, I’m sure Annie will love to hear all about what’s happened now. Dean smiles smugly at Annie who scowls. Dean disappears off into the kitchen and Annie takes Claire through to the living room.

11. 9

INT. LIVING ROOM, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY

9

ANNIE Come on Claire, what’s happened now? They are sat on the sofa, Annie passes Claire a tissue and keeps the box on her lap at the ready. CLAIRE Oh it’s Ashley! She’s doing it again she’s taking over the whole wedding! It might as well be HER MARRYING BEN! Annie passes another tissue. ANNIE Oh come now, I’m sure she doesn’t want to marry your Ben. CLAIRE I know she doesn’t. Why do you think she does? Oh GOD WHY?! ANNIE You just said... Never mind. Annie passes another tissue. CLAIRE It’s the Napkins! She wants baby pink but I want baby blue! Ashley’s made a 10 slide presentation about WHY we should have PINK! PINK! OF ALL COLOURS! Claire takes several tissues from the box spraying them dramatically over her. 10

INT. KITCHEN, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY Dean is leaning in close to the oven where his cookies are baking. The timer goes off and he opens the oven door and takes out the tray of cookies wearing oven mitts. DEAN You beauties!

10

12. 11

INT. LIVING ROOM, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY Claire is still crying on the sofa. all of her tissues.

11 Annie has used up nearly

ANNIE You know Claire you could always just say you don’t want pink napkins, it is your wedding after all? Claire pauses in her sniffling to consider this. CLAIRE Well... I suppose baby pink isn’t so bad. It’ll match the table runners and the centre pieces. Dean enters proudly presenting his disgusting looking cookies. ANNIE What are those? DEAN What do you mean what are those? They’re my cookies for THE LAST DISH! Sweet and Savoury, try one Claire? Claire looks at the cookies Dean is holding under her nose and tries not to gag. CLAIRE I’m sorry but I don’t feel well all of a sudden... I’ve got to go home. Claire hastily gets out of her seat and pushes past Dean and his cookies. The doorbell goes just as Claire is leaving. CLAIRE (CONT’D) Oh God it might be her, I’m going out the back. Bye Annie! The door bell goes again. ANNIE Dean get that for me love, I’ll see Claire out over the fence. Dean grunts but gets the door, cookies still in hand.

13. 12

INT. FRONT DOOR, DAVIS HOUSE - DAY

12

At the door is HEAD JUDGE JORDAN HAMSEY of the cooking show Dean has applied for. He is wearing a chefs outfit and holds a golden envelope in his hands. He greets Dean with a big smile. JORDAN HAMSEY Dean Davis? Yes?

DEAN

JORDAN HAMSEY Hi, Jordan Hamsey here from THE LAST DISH. I’m pleased to tell you your application has been successful! See you at the live shows! Dean gasps! DEAN Annie! Annie come here! It’s Jordan Hamsey! QUICK! Annie rushes in with her iPad and records the moment between Dean and Jordan. Dean offers Jordan a cookie and puts his free arm over Jordan’s shoulder to pose excited like a child for the camera. Jordan takes a biscuit and bites into it. He begins to chew quickly but his chewing soon becomes slower before he turns to vomit in the flower pot next to the front door. ANNIE My Pansies! Annie is still recording the encounter. Dean looks distraught at Jordan’s reaction to his baking. Jordan Hamsey stands up steadily and takes back the golden envelope from Dean. JORDAN HAMSEY Disgraceful. Don’t ever bake these for anyone. Jordan staggers off down the driveway.

14. Dean turns round to face Annie, heartbroken. DEAN I thought he’d like them. Oh Dean. END.

ANNIE