Fanfiction based on Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight Series Rated M for Mature.

Holding Out For You By ObsessingOverEdward

Summary: After her divorce Bella starts a new life in Carmel with her son. She soon meets a handsome doctor, who is dealing with his own loss and is struggling to raise his two kids. It’s a story of finding strength during adversity and learning to love again.

~*~ http://www.freewebs.com/obsessingoveredward/ Once you’ve enjoyed this story, show the author some love, and review here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4666438/1/Holding_Out_For_You

Chapter 1 Leaving La Push Bella Swan-Black “Seth, get in here and finish packing your Legos,” I hollered, as my son sneakily ducked back into my room. “Where have you been?” He had that look on his face that told me he had been up to something. “Don‟t be mad mom, please.” I sighed, knowing that whenever his sentence started with „Don‟t be mad‟, it wasn‟t going to be good. I folded my arms in front of me and waited patiently for him to get the courage to tell me whatever mischief he‟d been up to now. “I kind of broke your dolphins.” I groaned inwardly. The dolphins were a graduation present from my father when I graduated from Cal State University Monterey Bay. They were twelve inch high blown glass of dolphins jumping over the waves. I closed my eyes, not knowing if I wanted the answer to my next question.

“How did you break them?” I whispered as I opened my eyes and looked at my repentant seven year old. He lowered his gaze to his shoes while he shoved his hands into the pocket of his jeans. “Well…Conner got away and so I saw him jumping towards the back door.” He took a big breath before he continued to weave his tale. “So, I wanted to catch him before he got away. Then Buddy saw him and started chasing me and Conner. If I didn‟t dive for him, Buddy would‟ve eaten him up.” I rolled my eyes. Buddy was a smart Golden Retriever except when it came to frogs. He‟d gobble them in one bite and then within ten minutes they would come right back up. I waved my hand for him to continue. “I hit the table leg and it fell off. I‟m sorry, mom. I know you liked them dolphins.” His eyes began to tear up and any anger I had felt melted instantly. This poor child has been through the wringer over the last two years. “It‟s okay, Seth. Go finish packing your Legos and take the box out to Grandpa Charlie to put in the truck.” He walked over and hugged me around the waist. “I‟m really sorry, momma.” He sobbed into my shirt. I ran my fingers through his spiky jet black hair and held him close. “It‟s okay honey.” I pulled him away from me and gave him a „you‟re forgiven‟ smile. “Now hurry up. We have to leave in a few minutes.” He pulled away from me and ran to his room. I sighed, knowing there was a mess waiting for me in the dining room. “Hey Bells, do you want the dining set or not?” I looked at my ex-husband and was struck with a sense of nostalgia. “No, you can keep it. I picked up a smaller one last week.” He nodded at me, but had a look like he wanted to have that discussion again. I held up my hands, stopping him before he started. “Don‟t go there right now. Seth is in the other room. We can talk about it on the drive down.” He nodded his head curtly then turned quickly and left me standing in what was once our bedroom. The only thing that remained of mine was the king sized bed that we bought when we were first married. I didn‟t want the reminder of what we did on that mattress or worse yet what he is currently doing with her on it. Jake and I separated after five years of marriage because of his controlling and manipulative personality. That was almost two years ago. I thought that with Seth and I living with my father, he would finally see that I meant business when I told him I couldn‟t live with his “rules”. I still remember the day that I lost all hope of reconciliation. I had stopped by the house unannounced to talk to him about the latest round of mischief Seth had gotten into. I used my key and let myself in when he didn‟t answer the door. I immediately heard why he was preoccupied when a dull thumping came from the bedroom. I stood shocked in the kitchen. He wouldn‟t. My feet had a mind of their own as they quickly led me to the bedroom door. I placed my hand on the knob and opened the door slowly. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw the naked back of my husband pounding passionately into a dark haired beauty. I sucked in my breath and stood there unmoving. Jake‟s head spun around until he met my gaze, halting the motion he was currently engaged in. I turned and fled back out the door, stumbling to my car to escape the disgust of what I had witnessed. I slammed my key in the ignition of my truck and peeled out of the driveway. I looked in my rear view mirror to see Jake fly out of the

house, the sheet from our bed wrapped around his lower half. I sighed deeply at the memory. A few months ago the thought of Jake‟s betrayal would have been a painful reminder of love lost. Now it just evoked sadness that my son didn‟t have both parents living in the same home. Seth had suffered the most during all of our drama. He had always been a curious child and that usually landed him in trouble, but after the separation, his antics grew more into attention getting schemes. I hated taking him away from his father. Even though Jake wasn‟t the best husband, he loved and adored Seth. But what choice did I have? I can‟t change anything now. Our lives were set on a path that would lead us to California. An old professor had recommended me for a job at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. It would be great to finally put my Master‟s in Marine Biology to good use. I took one more look around the small bedroom and then went in to clean up the mess my dear child made. As I looked at the shattered dolphins, I couldn‟t help but reflect on the life that I had lived up until this point. Everything had seemed shattered, just like the dolphins and here I was, picking up the pieces and moving on. Jake and I started dating when we were Juniors in High School. He took a job as a mechanic right out of school so he could stay home and take care of his father while I made my way to the University of Washington in Seattle. I would come home every weekend to spend time with my father and continue my romance with Jake. It was a sad day when Jake‟s father passed away, three weeks before my graduation. The decision for us to move to Monterey so I could finish my degree was something that we both wanted. Jake needed to get away from the constant badgering by the tribal counsel to take his father‟s place as chief. He said he didn‟t want the responsibility at the time. Life in Monterey was amazing. We spent our days working or studying and then the evenings would be spent walking on the beach or occasionally eating out at some of the finest restaurants on the Peninsula. I was so in love with Jake during our time there, when we found out I was pregnant we were both excited to start the next phase in our lives. I was six months pregnant with Seth when I crossed the stage to receive my diploma. I was so happy then. Jake and I packed up that week and drove back to La Push to start our new lives together. We rushed a very simple wedding a month before Seth arrived and then settled into our lives as a new happy family. Jake soon went back to the garage that he managed before we left for Monterey. I didn‟t have to work because his income was enough for us to get by and we both wanted Seth to have a parent at home. Jake eventually took over as Chief after the constant persistence from the counsel. That seemed to be when he started to change. Jake took his responsibility to watch out for the tribe and his family to the extremes. He started to control every aspect of our lives. He took over paying the bills and gave me a monthly allowance, which I was never allowed to deviate from. It finally got to a point where I had no idea where we were financially. Then, he would do little things like check the mileage on my car before and after work and ask me where I went. Once, he even asked the neighbors to keep an eye on me and let him know if I had anyone over. It was like he didn‟t trust me. It took me a while before I realized these kinds of things were happening in every aspect of our relationship. He was slowly trying to make me completely dependent on him. I refused to be bullied and manipulated into servitude by his insecurities. So, I left. My dad was furious at Jake and always made sure that he was present whenever Jake would come over.

At first, our separation was a God-send. He was attentive and sweet, like when we first started dating. He would pick me up for dinner and then charm me with his fun loving nature. Many times during that separation, I would fall back into his bed with the hope that things would change, only to be rudely awakened when he reverted to his demanding and selfish ways. Then she came into the picture. I never told anyone why I filed for divorce the day after finding them together. Living in a small town, I didn‟t want Seth to hear the sordid details of our relationship. Jake was grateful that I didn‟t fuel the gossip mongers, and I was thankful that he kept her away from Seth. It had only been a month since the divorce became final, so we both decided that he would keep his private life private for a while longer. After the initial shock of the events that brought us to divorce, Jake and I agreed to be friendly for the sake of our son. I found that we were much better off as friends than we had ever been in the late stages as husband and wife. Our only argument as of late was about me moving over a thousand miles away. I needed a clean break. Everything just fell into place when I got a phone call from an old professor I had kept in touch with. We had taken scuba lessons together while I was in college and hit it off as friends. She called me and let me know that the Monterey Bay Aquarium was in need of a Marine Biologist to add to their new White Shark Project. It was really an opportunity of a lifetime to be involved in the research of such a fascinating creature. I also desperately needed work. My father and Jake took care of us financially, but now that the divorce was final, I needed a job. Jake and my father were driving us down to Carmel where I had rented a small cottage on the outskirts of town. It was unbelievably affordable for being a Carmel rental. There was a large backyard and a very nice elderly couple that lived in a larger house on the property so we wouldn‟t feel so isolated. “Ready Bella?” Charlie asked as he came through the front door. I looked around at what used to be my home and nodded my head. “As ready as I‟ll ever be.” “I‟ll take Seth and Buddy in your car while you ride with Jake. He said he had some things he wanted to discuss with you.” He gave me a look asking me if that arrangement was going to be okay with me. I shrugged my shoulders. “I‟ll ride with him for a few hours and then we‟ll switch so he can spend time with Seth before you guys have to fly back.” I ran back through the house, double checking that I had packed everything I wanted to take. When I was satisfied that all was in order, I climbed in the cab of the U-haul with Jake. We were silent for an hour before he spoke. “Bells, it‟s not too late to change your mind.” I sighed, knowing that there was no way around having this discussion yet again. Hopefully it would be the last. “No Jake, I need to take care of myself and Seth. This is the only way.” I looked out the window at the racing scenery. “That‟s bullshit Bella, and you know it.” I winced at the hint of anger laced in his voice. “You could have gotten a job closer. You're taking my son away from me.” I seethed at his remarks and then decided to let him have it. “I‟m not the one that caused all of this! I‟m doing what I have to do to survive. You stepped out of Seth‟s life the moment you brought her into your bed!”

“Her name is Leah,” he stated, like it mattered to me what her name is. I rolled my eyes at him and turned to stare back out the window. “You know I could take you back to court to keep you here,” he threatened. “You wouldn‟t dare. I would shred you in court. I have enough proof of your infidelity and people would back me up that you were unbearable to live with and abusive.” He winced at my words. “I think I‟m being fair with the visitation arrangement that we agreed to. I could have made things a lot worse for you, but if you want to play Russian roulette with the courts, then be my guest. It‟ll cost you in the end.” Jake nodded his head, knowing that my words were not idle threats. “I‟m sorry, Bells. I don‟t want to fight with you anymore. I want you to be happy. I‟m just going to miss Seth.” I was always too forgiving, but I couldn‟t help but be affected by the sincerity in his words. “Me too, Jake. I‟m sorry that we‟re moving away.” I looked at his face as the sun was setting against the mountains. He was such a handsome man and I would miss those nights of passion that we once shared. Even though we didn‟t get along now, there was no denying the way he made my body sing. “I think you should pull over so Seth can spend some time with his daddy.” He nodded and then took the exit to a rest stop. I switched places with my son and drove the rest of the way in comfortable silence with Charlie. We drove straight through the night and arrived at our new home around noon. The cottage was just as I remembered it. When I had accepted the job offer from the Aquarium, I immediately went in search of a house. I spent several days going through house after house. Unfortunately, most of them were out of my price range. I lucked out when my old Professor told me about a friend of hers that had a place opening up. The home had been built in 1918, but had been recently remodeled. It was only about a thousand square feet but it was big enough for me and Seth. Buddy was excited to be out of the cramped confines of the car and was running all over the yard in an ADHD doggy moment. Jake snarled at him whenever he ran close to him. For some reason, Jake hated Buddy, and I think the feeling was mutual. Seth and I got him as a puppy right after we moved in with my father. Seth loved him and Buddy eased some of the guilt I felt at taking Seth away from his father. We spent the afternoon unloading boxes while Jake put together the bed frames so we would have somewhere to sleep that night. I was putting away dishes when I heard a loud scream from the yard. “Stupid fucking mutt!” Jake was yelling as he walked in holding his bleeding hand. “What happened?” I said franticly, trying to find the towels to help stop the bleeding. The scent of blood hit my nose and I had to sit down. Jake walked over to the sink and stuck his hand under the running water. “He bit me,” Jake growled at me. “Why did you ever get that damn dog in the first place? I would never have allowed you to get one.” My queasiness was forgotten and the hair on the back of my neck stood up when he uttered those words.

“You still don‟t get it!” I yelled. He turned around, slightly shocked at my outburst. “That‟s why I left you in the first place!” “What?” “I wouldn‟t allow you to get one,” I said nastily as I threw his words back in his face. “You had to control every aspect of our lives. Your damn rules were ridiculous and were a way to manipulate me!” “Mom? Dad?” We both turned quickly to see Seth standing in the doorway. “Please don‟t fight.” I saw a tear squeeze out of the corner of his eye. I went to him quickly and wrapped him in my arms. “It‟s okay, baby. We‟re fine.” I shot a look at Jake that told him he better behave. “Yeah, squirt. Things are cool,” Jake muttered, still running his hand under the faucet. Seth pulled away from me and looked in my eyes, trying to make sure that I was telling the truth. I smiled at him and nodded. “Bella, why don‟t you take Buddy and go have a walk on the beach.” I smiled at my father, who was trying to defuse the situation; he knew I needed to cool down. The anger at my idiot ex was still bubbling under the surface and I didn‟t want to upset Seth anymore than we already had. “Seth, can you please find a towel for your dad. I think there are some in the box on the counter. I‟ll be back in a little while.” I grabbed Buddy‟s leash and went out to the car, whistling for him to follow. He generally liked car rides, so he happily bounced across the yard and into the car. I scratched behind his ears. “Did you get a good bite out of him? That‟s my good puppy. Next time aim for his ass.” I smirked as Buddy licked my hand happily. I drove through downtown Carmel and marveled yet again at the quaint village like feel. It feels like I just walked into a Thomas Kinkade painting. At the end of Ocean Avenue there was a small parking area where the beach started. I pulled over and let Buddy out of the car. He tore down the beach at break neck speed. I was a little worried that he was suppose to be on a leash, but decided that he‟d be fine since there weren‟t very many people out. The sun was sinking lower behind the horizon, turning the sky a brilliant shade of orange and pink. I walked in the direction that Buddy had run and saw him running around a man. I whistled to him and he started back. When he reached about half way, he turned back around and ran back to the man. What is that stupid dog doing? I whistled again only to have his ears perk up in my direction and then completely ignore me. It‟s obedience school for you again, mister. The man picked up a small piece of driftwood and threw it towards me, trying to persuade my stupid dog to come back to me. Buddy ran after it until he was about twenty yards away from me. “Come here, Buddy,” I stood in his spot until I was within reaching distance and then bolted back to the stranger. Ugh! As I drew near the stranger, I caught the bronze highlights in his hair glistening off the sun. It was in a messy disarray, probably from the light ocean breeze. I could tell, even with the distance, that this man was stunning. He leaned down and scratched Buddy behind the ears before looking up in my direction. “Is he your dog?” His voice was like velvet. “Yes, I‟m sorry if he was being a pest.” I walked over to Buddy and hooked his leash on his harness. “No, no. He was fine. A bit friendly, but fine.” He looked up into my eyes and I was struck again by his features.

He had a strong jaw line and perfectly sculpted cheek bones. His eyes were the purest emerald green that I had ever seen, but they were slightly red, almost looking like he was tired. I looked down at Buddy, hoping that this God didn‟t catch me ogling him. “So Buddy, did you make a new friend?” I asked him as I patted his head. The stranger laughed lightly and I looked up to him questioningly. “Buddy? That‟s original.” It was my turn to laugh at his slightly sarcastic comment. “My son loves Air Bud,” I explained as he nodded his head. “My kids like that movie too.” He‟s got kids. My eyes flashed down to his left hand and there on his ring finger was a gold band. Damn. “Well, I should get going. The sun is almost gone,” I muttered under my breath as I turned and headed back towards my car. “Have a nice evening.” I looked over my shoulder and smiled. “You, too,” I called as I let Buddy pull me back to the car. Mmm Mmmm. I think this was the first time I felt any interest in getting back into the dating game since I filed for divorce. The thought of dating again made me want to crawl in a hole and never come out. I skipped over all the awkward conversations and fear of rejection when I started dating Jake. He was my best friend and it only felt natural to take the next step. I never had to go through the anxiety of what to wear or say on a first date. The thought made me shudder. I opened the door for Buddy and he jumped in the front seat. I climbed in my car and drove back home, to my new life. However screwed up it was, it was mine, and I was proud of it.

~*~

Chapter 2 Anniversaries Edward Cullen My pager went off for the hundredth time today. I pulled it off my belt and saw that they needed me in Emergency. I put down the chart of my eight year old patient and smiled at him. “Well Laurent, all of your labs came back clean, so that means you don‟t have any infections. You‟ll be able to get out of here in a couple of hours.” I looked over at his mother. “Mrs. Crowley, do you have any questions about the care of his stitches?” She shook her head slightly at me and gave me a smile that I had seen way too many times. She stood up and walked closer to me, brushing her breasts against my arm. I internally rolled my eyes at the blatant invitation. She was just like every other lonely trophy wife I had come across in this town.

I stepped back, putting some distance between her and I. I cringed slightly in disgust at her advance, especially since it was done in front of her son. “How do I know if something is wrong with him?” she asked, her collagen enhanced lips pouting slightly. “He would have a fever,” I stated, pulling further away from her. “In that case, we would have to start a fresh round of antibiotics. So, if it's over 100 then bring him in. A small fever is just fighting off any existing bugs he may still have from the ruptured appendix.” I inched closer to the door wanting desperately to get out of this room and away from the Pamela Anderson look alike. “If there‟s nothing further, I have another appointment.” Her pout grew and I didn‟t give her time to answer as I slipped out the door. I threw Laurent‟s chart on the nurse‟s station as I passed. “Can you take care of this for me, Shawna?” I asked, not waiting for an answer. The older head nurse was my only ally in this place. She kept the young nurses at bay so I could get my job done. Ever since Tanya died, it spread like wild fire that Dr. Cullen was now single. I found myself in too many awkward situations with overly flirtatious nurses. “Sure thing, Dr. Sexy,” she said cattily. I rolled my eyes and turned around to look at her as I kept my pace walking backwards. She had a huge grin on her face as she winked at me. “You‟re a big tease, Shawna,” I said as I turned around quickly, high tailing it to the emergency room. The nickname Dr. Sexy was something that the nurses had started calling me when I wasn‟t around. Once Shawna caught wind of it, she promptly shut them down and told them all that if she heard it again they would be written up. However, it didn‟t stop her from teasing me mercilessly. I arrived in the emergency room to the sounds of the arriving ambulance. “Dr. Cullen,” The head emergency nurse greeted me as he jumped into what we had coming in. “We have a twenty-five year old female that suffered extensive injuries to her upper body and head in an automobile accident. Lacerations to her neck are the main concern at this point. The EMT is trying to stop the flow but it‟s not looking good.” I nodded my understanding at the seriousness of the injuries as the ambulance pulled into the dock. This is what I lived for. Everyone jumped into action, each having their own job to fulfill to try and save the life of this one individual. My blood was pumping and the adrenaline rush was a high unto itself. Every reflex and every sense was heightened. They pulled the woman out and quickly wheeled her into a surgical room, where I was barking out orders to each person available. I looked down at the woman on the table. Her eyes were large as she gurgled and gasped for breath. The EMT still had his hand pressed tightly to her neck in an effort to stem the blood flow. I needed to see the extent of the damage so I quickly pulled his hand away and then probed the wound with my gloved fingers. The damage was extensive. I clamped down on the artery hoping to slow things down. “She‟s lost a lot of blood,” the EMT said quietly. I had heard that tone of voice too many times and I quickly looked up at him and smiled. “Thank you…,” I looked at his name badge. “Sean, you‟ve done all you can.” I held onto the artery while the nurses and another colleague prepped her for surgery. I looked down into her eyes and was struck with a hint of urgency. Her eyes were losing that brightness of life, slowly dimming to a dull brown.

“We‟re losing her!” I yelled over the frantic preparations that were being done. “Hold on, sweetheart. Stay with me,” I coaxed, trying to talk her awake. I heard the flat line sound of the heart monitor and knew there was nothing more we could do. She had been too far gone and we hadn‟t been quick enough. She had lost too much blood. Damn. “Call it,” I mumbled to Dr. Lee as I released her artery. “Time of death 12:17,” he said quietly. Every person in the room took a moment of silence before they turned and left the room. Dr. Lee patted me on the back as he left, not saying a word. I saw this almost every day, but it never got any easier. I looked down at the woman that we could not save and I said a silent prayer for her and her family. Twenty five years old, and just starting her life when it was abruptly ended. I looked down at her hand and there was a simple gold band around her ring finger. She was someone‟s wife. I wondered for a moment if she had children. She had beautiful strawberry blonde hair. Like Tanya‟s. My heart stuttered for a moment at the remembrance of what today was. Three years ago, this day, I had lost my beautiful wife to a drunk driver. I looked down again at the woman lying on the table and knew how her husband was going to feel in a few minutes when I had to go out and tell him that she didn‟t make it. I yanked off the gloves and threw them away as I felt the hot tears brim in my eyes. I ran my fingers roughly through my hair, dreading the moment that would change a family‟s life forever. “Dr Cullen?” A nurse popped her head in the room. How long had I been standing here? “Mr. Allen is waiting in the Family Conference Room.” I nodded my head dismissively, trying to mentally prepare myself for the task at hand. One thing I learned a long time ago was that no matter how you gave the facts, it was still going to be painful. The only thing I could do was be compassionate and keep my own emotions in check. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO I looked at my watch before I climbed in my car; 4:15. I flipped my phone open and dialed Alice. “Hello?” “Alice, it‟s me. I‟m just now leaving the hospital. Have you started dinner?” “No, we just got back from flying kites on the beach, so I haven‟t even thought about dinner.” “Don‟t worry about it. I‟ll pick up Chinese food and a pizza for the kids.” “Sounds good. See ya in a few.” I heard Anthony giggle in the background as she hung up. I smiled to myself at the sound of my sweet seven year old. He was so much like his mother; kind hearted and thoughtful with an ambitious spirit, yet still shy. However, he was the spitting image of me. His bronze hair was slightly redder than mine, but his green eyes were the exact same shade of emerald. Tanya used to call him her little heart-breaker. I smiled at the memory of Tanya sitting on the porch swing of our home, cuddling in a blanket with Anthony, reading him a book. I felt a solitary tear slide down my cheek and I wiped it away quickly. Now was not the time to get emotional. I

needed the peace and quite only the ocean could provide to sort out the feelings that welled up inside me on this fateful day. Later, I told myself. After I have played my role as a father, then I could give in to the despair of the day. I pulled into the driveway of my home. It was a beautiful house, set on the small cliff edge overlooking Carmel Beach. Surrounded by Monterey Cypress trees, it blended in well with the environment. On the outside, it looked like a small charming cottage, however, looks can be deceiving. The square footage was more around three thousand square feet. Definitely not a cottage, but the way it was situated on the cliff made it feel much smaller from the outside. Tanya loved this house. She had put so much time and effort into making it a home. Every detail screamed Carmel. The deck was teak with surrounding raised flower beds made from Carmel Stone. The inside was decorated with local artist‟s paintings and sculptures, giving it a slightly modern feel. I opened the French doors off the back patio and came in with dinner, setting it on the counter. Anthony and Elizabeth came running in from the living room. “Daddy‟s home!” screamed Anthony as he launched himself into my arms. “Hey there kiddo. How was your day?” “We went with Aunt Alice to fly kites out on the beach and mine flew the highest,” he said as he peeked over at his sister standing in the doorway. I looked at Elizabeth, waiting for the outburst that was sure to follow at her brother‟s teasing. However, it never came. Instead, she rolled her eyes and walked back towards Alice‟s room. Every small infraction usually sent her into some kind of tantrum. She had been six years old when her mother was so brutally taken away from us. She had the hardest time coping with the loss. However, lately I had seen some small improvements in her attitude towards me and Anthony. Before, she was hateful and mean, placing the blame of her mother‟s death at my feet, since I was the one who had been driving when we were hit. Maybe, finally, she was ready to move past the unfortunate events that had haunted our home for the last three years. “So, did you save any lives today, Dad?” Anthony asked with excitement in his voice. I cringed internally at the question. I vowed a long time ago to keep my work at work. I smiled and nodded my head. “Sure did, Slugger.” “Totally cool!” He squirmed out of my arms and opened the pizza box, grabbing two slices and heading for the kitchen table. Shortly after, Elizabeth and Alice came in for dinner. “Mmmmm, smells good,” Alice commented as she started opening up the small take out boxes and helping herself. “So, what‟s the plan for the evening?” She looked at me hesitantly as she picked up the chopsticks and delved into her food. She and Emmett had been calling to check up on me all day, under the guise of filling me in on the day‟s events or the children‟s schedules, but I saw it for what it was. This day was the hardest, not just because of Tanya‟s death, but because it was also our anniversary. For the first two years after the accident, I would lock myself away and have my family care for the kids while I wallowed in self misery. This year, I changed my plans. I went to work and tried to get on with my life. For the most part, it worked, but I knew once I was home, the loneliness would set in when the house died down from the evening‟s rituals. “Um…I thought maybe Anthony and I could go out and get in some pitching practice before next week's tryouts.”

Anthony bounced up and down in his seat at hearing the plan. “Yes!” he said as he pumped his arms in victory. The kid baffled me sometimes. He had an amazing pitching arm for a seven year old and had the drive and willpower to be the best in the league. He couldn‟t get enough of practice and I had to put my foot down to get him to stop before he injured himself. “Dad,” Elizabeth whined. “You promised that you would be home today. Or, did you forget that today was the day that mom died?” She stated with venom in her voice. Anthony lost all of his excitement at the prospect of one-on-one time with me when Elizabeth uttered her words. “Of course I remembered what today is,” I stated, still shocked at her accusation. “Well then, if you really loved her, you wouldn‟t go play baseball. You‟d stay at home and think about her all day, like I did.” “Except for when we went out and flew kites with Aunt Alice,” Anthony corrected her. She shot him a glare that could make a grown man cringe but Anthony just looked at her innocently. “Shut up!” she spit out. “Elizabeth Ann, that kind of disrespect is not allowed in this home. You need to apologize, right now.” She glared at me with tears burning in her eyes before she stood up quickly and bolted for her room. “I hate you! I wish it was you and not mom that died!” she screamed as she ran down the hall to her room. Her bedroom door slammed with a loud thud that rattled all of the windows in the house. I let out a deep sigh and shook my head. So much for thinking that she was moving on. Alice stood up and went after her. “I‟ll talk to her,” she said as she made her way down the hallway. “Dad? We don‟t have to go to the ballpark today. We can do it tomorrow.” I reached over and ruffled his hair. “You don‟t mind?” I asked him. “Nope.” He smiled at me, but then his face turned into a frown. “What‟s up, kiddo?” I asked cautiously. He let out a long breath before he looked up at me. “I don‟t remember her. I know her hair was blond and she had blue eyes like Lizzy, but I can‟t remember what her face looked like or what her voice sounded like. It just makes me sad,” he said as a single tear dripped down his cheek. I pulled him into my lap and stroked his back. “I know, Anthony. Sometimes I forget too, but we‟ve got lots of pictures and even some videos that you can watch anytime that you want.” He sniffed and nodded his head against my chest. “Do you think mom is watching us, cuz Travis told me that his grandma was watching over him, and it would be nice to know that mom could see how much we miss her.” I fought back the tears at the sound of the pure longing in my little boy‟s words. I squeezed him tighter to me and rested my chin on the top of his head. “Nanna Esme told me once that we never lose the ones we love. They are up in heaven preparing a place for us, so we can be together again. I would guess that it wouldn‟t really be heaven if they couldn‟t see the ones they love

until we are reunited with them.” His little body relaxed into me at my words and I hugged him tighter to me. “I love you dad,” he whispered quietly. “I love you too, Anthony.” Alice came in a few minutes later. “Can we talk?” “Sure. Anthony, why don‟t you go watch some TV?” “Or read a book,” Alice suggested, giving me a stern look. I just shrugged my shoulders as Anthony climbed down and ran for the family room. “She will probably be in her room for the rest of the evening. She knows she shouldn‟t have said what she did, she‟s just too prideful to admit that she was wrong.” I nodded slowly as I digested Alice‟s words. She was like me. A sweet voice filtered through the house from the family room. I closed my eyes and listened more intently as her words of love washed over me. “I‟ll go make him turn it off,” Alice said quickly as she turned to walk into the family room. “No Alice, leave it. He needs to hear her voice.” I stood up from the table and walked into the family room. There on the flat screen TV was Tanya. She was stunning in her long white wedding dress, smiling beautifully at me as she spoke the vows that would bind us together for as long as we lived. I felt a warmth rush throughout my body as she spoke of her everlasting love and that her sole purpose for living was to make me happy. Alice came up beside me and took my hand, squeezing it gently. I felt the wetness on my cheek and decided it wasn‟t a good idea to have Anthony see me like this, so I backed slowly out of the room. “Edward?” Alice asked with confusion when I pulled my hand from hers. “I need to take a walk. I‟ll be back in a little bit.” She walked up to me and pulled me in for a hug and I let her take some of the pain I was feeling at that moment. “It‟ll be okay, Edward. Things are going to get better,” she said as she pulled away from me. “Thanks.” I kissed her cheek softly and then went for the back door that led down to the beach. Alice had been amazing over the last few years. She had closed her party planning business and moved in to help me with Liz and Tony after Tanya had died. Just last year, she took a part time job at the Aquarium as their events coordinator, helping plan weddings and corporate events that were held there after hours to pay for her shopping addiction. Her schedule was flexible enough that she could pick up the kids from school and run them to their various activities. Besides the basic needs of helping take care of my family, she was the emotional support that I needed through that first difficult year. I took a leave of absence from the hospital after the accident to help my children through the loss of their mother, but in reality it was Alice that helped us all. I walked down the stone steps to the beach. It was a beautiful evening, the sun was low on the horizon and barely anyone was about. I walked quietly, enjoying the sound of the waves crashing across the sand.

Tanya? Can you really hear me? I felt slightly foolish but Tony‟s words pierced my soul. Maybe she could hear me. Maybe she could help me find the right thing to do. What do I do? You were the one that always knew what to do. I feel like I‟m failing at everything. Lizzy hates me…but no more than I hate myself. I have run through the accident in my mind over and over again trying to find out why this happened. Why you were taken from us so suddenly? If there is a God, why would he let something so horrible happen? I felt the wetness on my cheek and brushed it away absently. Anthony misses you terribly. Hell, we all miss you terribly. Elizabeth wishes it was me and not you that had been lost in the accident. I have to agree with her. I felt the sting of that thought. Why couldn‟t it have been me? You wouldn‟t have these problems. You were always the stronger one out of the two of us. Damn it! Why? I looked out over the ocean and breathed deeply, trying to regain some semblance of control. I‟m so fucking lonely without you. If I didn‟t have Tony and Liz, I would have joined you a long time ago. I grasped the wedding band that I wore as a constant reminder of my love. I turned it around and around my finger. I‟ve wore this ring for eleven years. Alice tells me it‟s time to let go. That I need to move on with my life. I don‟t know if I can. Help me, baby. Help me know what I need to do, if it‟s the right thing to do. I sank down into the sand and buried my face in my hands. All the stress of the day was released as the sobs broke forth from my lips. I don‟t know how long I sat there but the sun was slowly sinking into the horizon when I finally looked up again. I brushed away the tears and smiled as a beautiful Golden Retriever ran up excitedly and licked my hand. “Hey there, boy,” I said as I scratched him behind the ears, grateful for the distraction that he brought. I stood up and brushed the sand off of my pants while the dog ran around me. I laughed out loud at his burst of energy. I heard a faint whistle in the distance and the dog tore off up the beach. Quite a ways off, I saw a small woman with deep brown hair. The dog abruptly stopped in between us and then turned around and ran full force back to me, barking and circling me like he was playing a game. She whistled again, but the dog‟s ears just perked up as he pranced over to me and nudged my hand to pet him. I chuckled at his disobedience. Lying a few yards in front of me was a large piece of driftwood, so I picked it up and shook it in front of the dog to get his attention. He crouched down and barked his approval, his tail wagging quickly back and forth. I pulled back and let the wood fly towards the woman, hoping that her dog would get half way there and then decide to go the rest of the way. I heard her voice float over the breeze as she continued to try and coax her dog to her. When she got close enough that I thought she would catch him, I turned around and started to head back to my house. Next thing I knew the Golden was racing around me again. I pulled my hands through my hair brushing it away from my eyes “What are you doing, big fella? Somebody wants you to come,” I said as I scratched the now calm dog at my side. I looked up and watched as the petite brunette walked closer to me. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and the ocean breeze caught her hair and swirled it all around her. “Is he your dog?” I asked politely, once she was close enough to hear me without shouting. “Yes, I‟m sorry if he was being a pest.” She walked over to the dog and hooked his leash on his harness. “No, no. He was fine. A bit friendly, but fine.” I looked up into her eyes and caught her staring. She quickly looked down at her dog and I watched as a slight blush overcame her features. “So Buddy, did you make a new friend?” she asked her dog as she patted his head.

I laughed lightly at the name of her dog. She looked at me questioningly. “Buddy? That‟s original.” She laughed at my slightly sarcastic comment. “My son loves Air Bud,” she explained as I nodded. That explains the name. “My kids like that movie too,” I commented. “Well, I should get going, the sun is almost gone.” I thought I heard a bit of reluctance from her voice. “Have a nice evening,” I called as she walked way. Slowly, she turned her head over her shoulder. “You, too,” she called back over the wind as her dog pulled her down the beach. I chuckled at the sight. I bet that dog weighed almost as much as she did. I felt lighter as I made my way back to the house. My mind went back to the encounter with the unnamed woman and her dog moments ago. Maybe I need to get a dog.

~*~

Chapter 3 Crazy Neighbors and Best Friends Bella Swan-Black I came back from the beach slightly refreshed from the clean salty air, and my encounter with the bronze haired God put me in a better mood than when I left. The sun was completely gone by the time I reached my turnoff into the driveway. As I pulled in, I smiled at the cute little red cottage that we now lived in. This was home. I pulled into the carport and was startled when there was a small tap on the driver‟s side window. On the other side of the window stood an older eccentric looking lady. She had red hair which looked like it had recently been dyed and an interesting looking blue hat that sat askew on her head. A small blue net veil hung from the crooked hat over one eye. The hat itself was fine, it was the bright yellow bird perched on the top that had me almost burst out into a fit of giggles. I smiled at the woman as I got out of the car. “Hello dear, you must be Isabella,” she said in a thick English accent. I nodded my head, still trying to suppress the giggles that threatened to erupt. “I am, but please call me Bella.” The darling old lady smiled widely and that‟s when I noticed the bright red lipstick that was painted haphazardly across her mouth. I also noted that more lipstick was stuck to her teeth than her lips. Her bright blue eye shadow and false eyelashes that were barely hanging on to her lids were the final straw. A giggle escaped my mouth and I quickly stifled it. She held out her hand for a formal handshake. “It‟s so nice to finally meet you. My name is Jan. How are you liking the cottage?” I smiled happily as I turned around to look at my small home. “Seth and I love it, Jan. It‟s perfect.” She beamed at me and then launched into the history behind the home.

“That house was built in 1918 and the original owners lived in it up until we bought the property, where we lived in it for several years while the big house was being built. I have to warn you, dear. When you sit on the toilet, you‟ll feel a slight breeze.” I giggled at her confession. We had known that there were some things that we would have to live with, but the price was well worth any discomfort we would feel. Plus, my son was going to be in one of the best schools in the state. Jan went on, “It‟s not insulated very well, but when we added on the living area, my son made sure that there was a nice wood burning kettle which heats the house up nice and toasty.” “I‟m sure it will be fine,” I said as she nodded. “If you need anything dear, please come on over. I think you‟ve met my husband Dave, he‟s pretty handy. I just won‟t let him get on the roof anymore. The old bird is eighty- two and I don‟t trust him not to fall off.” I laughed at the image of the little old Japanese man that I met weeks earlier climbing up on the roof. He had spunk, so it didn‟t surprise me that his wife had to put her foot down to get him to comply. “I‟ve been seeing this big burly guy walking around the property, is he with you?” “That would be Jake. He‟s my ex-husband and will be leaving to go back to Washington tomorrow morning.” She nodded carefully. “Good thing I didn‟t shoot him then.” A loud snort came out of my lips at the thought of this eccentric English lady packing heat. “I‟m sorry, did you mean really shoot him? Like with a gun,” I asked and she nodded seriously. “Yes, sir. I have a forty five revolver just waiting for someone to come in my house unannounced.” I made a mental note to remember to talk to Seth about the crazy old lady next door that has a gun. “Almost shot Dave three months ago when he came in unannounced.” I was trying hard not to laugh at the silliness of the situation. If any other person would have said that they planned on shooting any intruders, I would have taken it seriously, and I probably should with this woman too, but she seemed so harmless. Besides, this is Carmel. The crime rate consisted of the occasional vandalism from bored teenagers or someone eating ice cream on the sidewalk of downtown. I still can‟t believe that there was an ordinance that ice cream could not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. However, my all time favorite was that it was unlawful for a lady to take a bath in a business office. Who thinks of these things? I could tell that Jan was slightly lonely and made a mental note to visit her whenever I had extra time. “I don‟t want to keep you. I just wanted to introduce myself,” Jan said as she turned to head back home. “It was nice to meet you Jan.” I walked into the house to find Jake sprawled out on the floor with a game controller in his hand, Seth lying right next to him fully engulfed in Katamari Damacy. I never did understand the fascination with video games but it was something that Seth and Jake bonded over. Charlie came out of the kitchen and smiled. “How was your walk?” he asked me. My mind went back to the bronze haired Adonis and I sighed. Why are all the good ones taken? “Refreshing,” I said honestly, as I proceeded to put away the dishes that I had been unpacking earlier. After a few

hours of the monotony of unpacking, I called it a night. I was completely expecting to have to put the beds together, but I was pleasantly surprised when I walked into my room. My bed was put together and had fresh sheets and a comforter on it. I walked into Seth‟s room and the same had been done for him. Tears started to well up in my eyes. I walked into the living room and gave Charlie a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks dad, for making up the beds.” “It wasn‟t me Bells, that was Jake.” I was slightly shocked that my ex husband made the beds. My anger at him from earlier on completely dissolved as I sat down next to him on the floor and kissed his cheek softly. He hit the pause button and looked questioningly at me. “Thanks for taking care of me,” I whispered. His expression changed dramatically and his eyes were smoldering. I recognized the look from our long history. Desire. My mind twisted around the idea that we could have one last night together. Who knew how long it would be before I would have that need taken care of. The thought vanished as instantly as it appeared. There was no use prolonging the torture. “Bella?” His voice quivered slightly and I looked in his eyes. His need was obvious. Jake was a very virile man and I understood his unquenched thirst for all things sexual. I closed my eyes fighting off the desire to throw all of my restraint away and give in to the carnal side that was begging for release. I shook my head reluctantly and then looked into his eyes. I saw the disappointment clearly. Charlie and Seth had completely missed our little exchange. Seth poked Jake in the ribs. “Da-d?” he whined “Come on, I just rolled you up.” Jake‟s eyes left mine and went back to the TV as he immersed himself back into the game with his son. I stood up quickly, needing to put some space between myself and Jake. By the time I reached my room, I was angry at myself for even considering jumping into bed with him again. I stripped down and threw on a pair of sweats and tank top and climbed under the covers. Stupid hormones. Stupid ex. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Seth and I took Jake and Charlie to the airport early the next morning. I felt a slight pang when Jake was saying goodbye to his son. I understood the loss he must be feeling. I could never handle that kind of separation from my son and was surprised that Jake handled it so well. I kissed Charlie goodbye and then turned to Jake. He pulled me into his arms and kissed my forehead softly. “Anytime you want to come home Bells, I„ll be there.” I nodded my understanding and felt that it was best to keep my comment about it not happening to myself. He pulled away and looked into my eyes. I felt a sad feeling at the way things had ended so terribly between us. He leaned down and kissed my lips softly. I stood perfectly still, not feeling like it was an intrusion but at the same time not wanting him to come to any conclusions. “I love you, Bells. I always will.” He turned quickly away, grabbed his small duffel bag and then disappeared through the airport doors with Charlie. I turned to look at Seth and he had tears streaked over his cheeks as he watched his father leave. I pulled him to my side and kissed his forehead. “It‟ll be okay, Seth. You‟ll get to spend a month with him in the summer.” Seth nodded his head against my chest

and sniffed back his tears. My guilt returned full force, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Monday morning came a little too early. My muscles were aching from all of the unpacking that Seth and I had accomplished the day before. I stretched lazily, trying to get enough energy to drag my butt up, when my sweet boy came running in and launched himself onto my bed. “Get up, mom! I get to start a new school today!” He was so much more outgoing than I was. I dreaded those first days at a new school. He bounced excitedly, pulling on my arm. “Up, up, up!” I pulled myself up and swatted Seth on the butt as he climbed off the bed. “Go get breakfast and don‟t forget to feed Buddy.” He darted out of the room and I heard the rustle of the cereal box in the other room. I threw my hair into a messy ponytail and slid on some jeans and a sweater. I glanced at myself in the mirror and thought about the man from the beach again. I wonder if his kids go to Seth‟s school. What if I run into him again? I thought for a moment about getting in the shower and wearing something a little nicer. Cut it out Bella. Married, remember? I chastised myself for even thinking twice about him, but they just don‟t breed them like that in Washington, well, at least not in Forks. We pulled into the school and headed for the office to check Seth in and find out which class he was going to be placed in. After the office lady had all the paperwork taken care of, she pointed me in the direction that we needed to go. I opened the office door and it abruptly stopped. Good job, klutz. I peeked around the corner to see who I had just slammed the door into and was instantly stunned. “I-I‟m so sorry,” I gushed as the gravely voice of one of my favorite actors came back at me. “It‟s okay, no harm.” He smiled at me and I fell back slightly against the door frame as he pulled his daughter along with him. I stood there awhile, Seth looking at me oddly, until I heard the receptionist clear her voice. I turned around and looked at her with awe. “That was…?” I couldn‟t finish my sentence. She smiled wider at me. “Don‟t worry dear, he does that to all of us. And yes, that was Clint Eastwood.” My mouth hung open slightly and all of a sudden, I didn‟t really feel like we belonged here. “Why is he here?” “His daughter goes to school here.” My mind reeled at that bit of information. I‟m sure he could afford to put her in any school and he chose a public school? Plus, isn‟t he in his seventies? He has a daughter that young? I shook my head slightly. I‟m in a totally different world. I walked Seth to his class and couldn‟t help but be slightly star struck when I passed him again in the hall. Seth was clueless to my fan girl moment and instead pulled me along quicker. We arrived at the door and Seth flung it open in his haste. I smiled at his genuine enthusiasm. His new teacher, Mrs. Morris, came over to greet us and then directed Seth to a table with three other children. I stood in the back for a few minutes, watching Seth interact with the kids he was sitting with. A little boy with brown hair and bright copper highlights stuck out his hand in a formal hand shake to Seth and I couldn‟t help but giggle at the bemused look on Seth‟s face. However, he tentatively reached out and took his hand, a wide smile forming on his lips.

“That‟s Anthony Cullen.” I turned quickly to face the woman who was standing next to me. I gave her a questioning look. “The little boy that just shook your son‟s hand is Anthony Cullen. His father is a dream. He‟s hot, sexy and a doctor. What I wouldn‟t give to…” she trailed off as her eyes rolled slightly back into her head, falling into her little fantasy world. I noticed the huge shiny rock on her finger and couldn‟t help thinking that she probably shouldn‟t divulge her little fantasies to someone she doesn‟t know. I gave her the once over while she was lost in her thoughts; designer clothes, platinum blond hair, spray tan, overly pouty lips and her chest was so huge she looked like she would topple over at any moment. My gads, was there anywhere on this woman‟s body that wasn‟t touched by a knife? She opened her eyes and smiled at me. “You‟ll do good to have your son be friends with him.” She smiled at me as if she‟d just done me some huge favor. I really didn‟t care for this woman. It was obvious that her whole life revolved around her social status. I turned to leave, having had enough of this Barbie wannabe. I walked over to Seth and kissed him lightly on the cheek. He made a grossed out face and then wiped at his cheek. “Yuck, mom!” I smiled and then looked over at Anthony who had an almost wistful look on his face as he watched us. I winked at him in a conspiratorial way. He smiled widely at me and then winked back. “Have fun today, Seth,” I said as I tried to go in for the kiss again, but he was faster than me, holding up his hands in defense. “Okay mom, you can go now.” I straightened up and headed for the door, chuckling lightly to myself. The day went by slowly as I continued to unpack box after box. When I went back to school to pick Seth up, he happily ran up to me and hugged me tight. I guess affection was okay as long as he initiated it. I smirked down at him as I ruffled his hair. “How was your first day at school?” “It was so great! I have a new best friend and he plays baseball and mom I want to play too and he has a sister but she‟s not very nice to him but he‟s really nice and he shared a peanut butter cookie with me and I liked it and why don‟t we ever have peanut butter cookies?” His little brain was going so fast that all of his sentences were running together and I had to laugh at the randomness of his thoughts. “We didn‟t have peanut butter cookies because your father was allergic to them,” I answered the last question I had heard from his rambling. “So, who‟s this new friend?” I asked. “His name is Tony.” I nodded my head; it looks like the little copper haired kid made an impression on Seth. I just hope he‟s not a mischief maker too, that could be a disaster waiting to happen. Seth definitely doesn‟t need encouragement. “So mom? Tony told me all about baseball and I want to play. He said that tryouts are this Saturday and I really want to go, please, please, please?” He looked up at me with the puppy dog eyes that he inherited from his father and I couldn‟t refuse even if I wanted to. My only worry was that I started work soon and being a single parent and not knowing anyone in the area may cause some difficulties at getting him to practices.

“Sure. If that‟s what you want we‟ll make it work.” Seth was so excited that he talked non stop on the way home. He was spitting out baseball rules and filling me in on strategy. I was a bit shocked at the depth of knowledge he had of the game… We never were much into sports in our home so I had no idea where he got all of his information. “Where did you learn all of that?” I asked, after he told me in detail how to throw a curve ball. He just shrugged lightly. “Tony. He‟s a pitcher and I want to pitch too,” he said ambitiously. I didn‟t have the heart to tell him that to be a pitcher, you needed someone to work with you outside of practice, and let‟s face it, I‟m not athletic. It was times like these that I wished Jake lived closer. Seth needed a good male role model to take him out and do boy stuff with.

~*~

Chapter 4 Cartoons, Proposals & Baseball Edward Cullen Sunday morning I was abruptly woke up by my over anxious son. He had climbed up on the bed and was straddling my waist. He took my shoulders in both of his hands and shook. “Dad. It‟s time to get up.” I pretended to be still asleep, silently hoping he would give up and let me go back to sleep for a few more hours. I was sadly mistaken. “Da-d. You promised.” I heard the disappointment in his whine so I cracked one eye open carefully and was startled to see his face inches from mine. “I knew you were awake!” He exclaimed as his tiny fingers pried my other eye open. I grabbed him by the waist and hoisted him above my head as he screamed out in surprise, giggling the whole time. I tossed him up and caught him bringing him back down on my chest where I attacked his sides. “Do you know what happens when little boys wake up their grumpy dads?” I said in my rough „I‟m going to get you‟ voice. He laughed harder as my tickling increased. “S-stop, Da-ddy.” I abruptly stopped but his giggling didn‟t. He glanced up at me from under his lashes, a sly smile on his face. I watched him closely wondering what was going on in his little brain. Then he attacked. His little fingers dug into my side trying to get the same reaction that I had gotten out of him moments ago. I had learned long ago to contain the urge to react when being tickled, thanks to growing up with Alice. But I couldn‟t disappoint my son so I laughed a deep chuckling laugh and pretended to shove his hands away. His laughter, along with my own, filled the room. I finally grabbed his hands and pinned them down to the bed as his giggles turned into full-out snorts. “You are too funny, Anthony.” I laughed and shook my head at the sounds that were coming out of him. He beamed at me and I felt the love radiate off of him. He was my strength and kept me going on the days when I

wanted to give up. He climbed under the covers and reached for the remote control on the nightstand and then handed to me. “It‟s your pick today.” He said and then fluffed the pillows under his head. Sunday mornings were our father- son bonding time over cartoons. We had this ritual since Tanya died. In the beginning, Liz would join us but lately she had pulled away from our tradition. I flipped the television on and scanned through the options until I ran across Tony‟s favorite, Spongebob. “Aye, Aye Captain!” Tony sang as the intro came on the screen. I rolled my eyes at the brainless antics of Spongebob and Patrick. What ever happened to the classics? Tom and Jerry? Scooby Doo? The Road Runner? My bedroom door squeaked open slowly and Elizabeth‟s head poked in. She smiled sheepishly at me so I motioned her to come in. She walked in slowly and stopped midway to the bed. I hated to see her hesitation. “Come here, sweetheart.” I held my arms out for her and she quickly scurried over to my side of the bed and climbed up, laying her head on my shoulder. “I‟m sorry about last night.” She whispered softly. I ran my fingers through her strawberry blond hair and then kissed her forehead. “I know baby. But don‟t ever think that I don‟t miss your mother.” She nodded her head and a small sob came from her lips. I wrapped both arms around her and let her cry. In the beginning I didn‟t know what to do when she broke down in tears, but I learned over the years that she just needed me to be there for her, to let her cry and not try to fix everything. We spent most of the morning in bed watching cartoons and just being together. By mid-afternoon Tony, Liz and I packed up the baseball gear and headed to the ballpark. This was the third year that I would be coaching for the Carmel Youth Baseball League. Emmett had been my Assistant Coach since the beginning. He was living vicariously through Anthony since he had three girls that were more interested in make up and fashion than sports. He tried to convince them that they should play ball, but as each one grew a little older, he abandoned the hope that one of them would miraculously change their mind. Elizabeth didn‟t mind being out on the field with us. Most of the time she brought a book and curled up in one of the camping chairs and read. Occasionally, she would pull out her mitt and help with drills, but she‟s being influenced more and more by my sister. Alice loves baseball, but she likes to do the girly stuff with Liz so baseball has taken a back seat to fashion. Honestly, if Alice wasn‟t working today, Liz would have probably spent the day in the mall. “Okay Tony, I want some inside heat!” I hollered at him and then crouched back down waiting for him to throw down. He nailed it just inside the strike zone and my hand slightly stung from the force. “Nice! Do it again.” He threw it perfectly only inches from where the first ball had landed. “Good. Now you‟ve got the batter a little scared. Slow it down a bit. He‟ll be expecting another fast ball. Surprise me.” Anthony nodded and then trained his focus on my mitt. His concentration was pretty amazing. He winded up and threw but with a slight hesitation. Making the ball fly far outside the zone.

“Do you know what you did?” He nodded and raised his mitt for me to throw the ball back. “I hesitated. I didn‟t make a decision before I wound up.” I nodded. We went like this for an hour before I told him it was time to go. “Come on, dad. Please, just a little while longer.” I shook my head. “No way, Anthony. If you keep this up, you will wear out your arm. Youth baseball isn‟t worth not being able to play when you‟re older.” We have had this argument too many times. He was so determined to be the best that he didn‟t take into account the consequences of over working his shoulder. Even when I reminded him of the rules, he still wanted to push it to the limit. His tenacity was commendable and I was proud that he had goals and wanted to reach them, but not at the expense of his health. When we got home, Alice had dinner started and was fluttering around the kitchen. I had sent Anthony in to take a shower and Liz went to get things ready for school the next day. I came into the kitchen and kissed Alice on top of the head. “Smells good, whatcha cookin‟?” I asked as I lifted up the lid on the pot on the stove. “Spaghetti. Jasper‟s recipe. He‟ll be here any minute” She said as she swatted my hands away from the pot and stirred it slowly. Anything coming out of Jasper‟s kitchen was always superb. “What do ya need me to do?” I asked, looking around for something to help with. She handed me the Romaine and pointed to the cutting board. I pulled the knife out the rack and placed it on the counter. Alice looked at me like I had grown two heads. “You never cut leafy vegetables with a knife.” She walked over to the cutting board and tore the leaves off one at a time. “You tear it. That way it won‟t turn brown.” I rolled my eyes and gently pushed her aside. “I think I can manage making a salad, Alice.” I picked up the knife anyway and got to work. She huffed slightly in annoyance and then turned to drain the noodles in a pot. We worked comfortably together until we heard Jasper at the door. Alice danced quickly out of the kitchen and I heard a small squeal from her and a deep chuckle from her fiancé. I poked my head out of the kitchen and saw Alice fully attached to Jasper, her legs wrapped around his waist as she peppered him with kisses. He had a handled paper bag in one hand and a half a dozen roses in the other. He chuckled lightly at his reception. “Hold on there, Darlin‟.” He laughed as Alice continued her assault. I smiled and shook my head. “I hope you know what you‟re getting into, Jasper.” I teased. “Hey Edward! Do you mind taking these?” He held out the items he was holding as I walked over and pulled them from his hands. Then his arms wrapped around my sister and kissed her fiercely. I turned quickly back to the kitchen not wanting to intrude on their moment. “Remember the kids, please.” I called over my shoulder as I placed the flowers in a vase for Alice. A few minutes later they both came into the kitchen hand in hand. I had been happy for Alice when she found Jasper. He was a great guy. He was easy going and gave Alice whatever she wanted. Financially, he was well off from owning several successful restaurants in the area.

Really, I would call him a saint because he has taken a back seat to the responsibilities I have saddled Alice with. Whenever Alice has given me the „It‟s time to move on‟ speech I have thrown it right back at her. They have been engaged for almost four years but the wedding plans were halted when Tanya died. Alice said that her niece and nephew needed her and that Jasper was going to be around forever and he didn‟t mind waiting. I minded. I always felt like I was the wedge between their relationship. There wasn‟t a whole lot I could do but throw her out and even then I don‟t think it would stop her from taking care of my kids. She‟s been self sacrificing for us for too long. “So, when‟s the wedding?” I asked them as we were seated around the dining room table. I posed this question every time we all sat down together for dinner. It was expected. What wasn‟t expected was their answer. “We‟re getting married on Labor Day weekend.” Alice said with a big grin on her face. It took me a minute to process that they had said something different besides „we haven‟t set a date yet‟. “Really?” They both nodded. “That‟s fantastic.” I stood up and pulled my sister out of her chair, giving her a hug and then reaching to shake Jasper‟s hand. “Does that mean Jasper‟s moving in too?” Tony‟s eyes were wide with excitement. Liz punched him in the arm. “No, dummy. It means that Aunt Ally is moving out.” She had tears brimming her eyes and I didn‟t have the heart to reprimand her for her comment. This was going to be hardest on her. She had grown attached to Alice since I was emotionally absent for the first few months after her mother‟s death. I still berated myself for checking out when my kids needed me the most. “I‟ll still be around. Jasper doesn‟t live that far away and I‟ll still pick you up from school and hang out with you when your dad‟s working.” She smiled at Liz and Tony and I saw some of the guilt she had in her eyes. She took on too much responsibility. An uncomfortable silence filled the room. “Mmmmm, this is really good pssgetti Aunt Ally.” Tony commented as he shoveled another mouthful in and then sucked up the noodles as they slapped his face around his mouth. We all nodded in agreement and then the silence set in again. “So Jasper, how‟s the new restaurant coming along?” I asked as Jasper grinned widely. “Our grand opening is next weekend. I finally found a chef that I think will bring an interesting array of items to the menu. I‟ve been open for lunch to test the waters, and so far things have gone pretty well.” He told me about how the previous chef had retired when he bought the small restaurant on Cannery Row, which sent him on a nationwide search looking for only the best. He spoke with a sense of pride and confidence that he was known for. Every restaurant that he touched turned to gold. He had good reason to be confident. We spent the remainder of the evening chatting about the wedding plans and the new restaurant until Alice and Jasper left for the evening. “I‟ll be back in the morning to get the kids to school.” Alice whispered as she grabbed her coat out of the closet. “Please Alice. I can manage to get my kids to school on time. I don‟t have to go in until nine.” She smiled and then kissed my cheek before she bounced to the car with Jasper. I went in and kissed Anthony good night and then went in to do the same with Elizabeth. She was sitting on her bed with her face in her hands. Soft sobs racking her small body. She looked up when I knelt by her bed, brushing

the tears angrily away. “Aunt Ally is leaving us too.” She sobbed. I sat on her bed and pulled her into my arms rocking her gently. “She‟s not leaving us. She‟s just going to be living with Jasper. You‟ll still see her almost as much as you do now.” Her sobs turned into hiccups as she clutched at the front of my shirt. “You still have seven months to have her all to your self but then we need to let her be happy with Jasper. I‟m sure she‟ll let you help her plan the wedding, would you like that?” I asked hoping to distract her a bit from the sad part of this event. She smiled widely and nodded her head. I ruffled her hair and pulled back the covers, laying her gently in between and then pulling them up to her chin. “I love you, pumpkin.” I said as I kissed her forehead. “I love you too, dad.” She whispered before rolling over onto her side. After closing her door softly I walked back down stairs to the small open room next to the family room that housed my piano. I hadn‟t played much over the last three years. It wasn‟t until a few months ago that Liz showed an interest in learning to play. She had said that it made her mom so happy to hear me play that she wanted to learn for herself. Up until that time, I hadn‟t even given a second thought about playing. It was too painful of a reminder. When Liz let me know that she wanted me to teach her, I swallowed all of the hurtful reminders and delved back in. However, there was one song that I could never bring myself to play. I sat down and fingered the keys reverently. I was surprised at how easily playing came back to me when I opened up to the idea. The passion that I felt while playing was intense and at times was too much to handle. I sighed as I quietly began to play the lullaby that I had composed after Liz had been born. It was a soft melody that had a light feel to it, invoking happy thoughts as it grew to the intense love I felt for my daughter. If only I could express that love to her as well as I could play it. I finished the melody and then leaned my forehead against the top of the grand piano. I let the memories of Elizabeth‟s birth was over me. She was so tiny and looked so much like her mother even as an infant. I stood up quickly, almost knocking over the piano bench in my haste and walked to the French doors, pulling them open and walking out onto the deck that overlooked the Pacific. It was dark but the moon cast a glow across the crashing waves. The stiff breeze sent a small shiver through me but I ignored it. “Tanya.” I spoke her name out loud before continuing my internal conversation within my heart. Oh baby, this week has been so hard. Alice is finally moving on and getting married. Liz didn‟t take it very well. She‟s so afraid that she‟s going to lose someone else. I looked up at the stars and sighed. I can‟t help but feel like I need to follow in Alice‟s footsteps. But moving on feels like such a betrayal to the love we have…had, for the love we had. You‟re last words to me were “Be Happy” but how can I ever truly be happy again? I love you so much that it hurts. The tears were freely flowing down my face and I didn‟t have the energy to brush them away. So many times I have prayed that I would wake up from the nightmare that has take over my life. I have finally resolved that that will never happen. That you‟re gone, forever. I sank down onto the lounge chair and raked my fingers through my hair my silent sobs racking my body. Would it always be like this? Would I have to live with this grief for the rest of my life? OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Alice showed up bright and early even though I had told her I could handle it. Of course this was the day that we couldn‟t find Anthony‟s missing Tennis shoe. I was frantically searching the laundry room when Alice came prancing in.

“What are you doing? You should have left five minutes ago.” “We can‟t find Anthony‟s damn shoe.” I growled. “Where was the one you found?” “In the family room.” “Then that‟s where the other one is.” She bounced into the family room and I heard her moving things around while I dug through the pile of laundry I had brought downstairs. “Ah ha!” I heard Alice sing. “I found it!” I walked back in the family room barking at Liz and Tony to get in the car. “Where did you find it?” I asked, puzzled because I searched this room completely. “Under the couch.” Alice said simply. “I looked under the couch.” I was baffled at how I could have missed it. “Yes, but you were looking with your man eyes.” She smirked and shoved me out of the door. I drove a little too quickly to the school and pulled into the driveway in front of the office. Liz leaned over and kissed my cheek before she got out of the car. “Aunt Ally will be here to pick you up after school.” I hollered out the window at them as they ran off to their classes. As I was rolling back up the window I caught a glance at the woman I had met on the beach talking with the receptionist inside the office. I smiled at the remembrance of her dog and wondered briefly if he had taken her for a walk instead. A honk came from the car behind me, pulling me out of the memory. I waved my apology and then pulled out of the driveway deciding to start a little early at the hospital. The day went by extremely quickly, nothing major occurring except for sick children that had panicked parents and a few broke bones. I rolled into the driveway a little after eight o‟clock, just in time to participate in the evening ritual. Tony was already curled up in his bed reading a book when I walked in. He smiled widely at me and patted his bed, inviting me to hang out. I loved these moments with my kids. They seemed to open up more when things had quieted down. “How was your day, slugger?” “Great, dad! I made a new friend.” “Really? Tell me about it.” “He‟s really cool. His name is Seth, but he didn‟t know anything about baseball, but I filled him in. He seems to be really excited about try-outs Saturday, so can you pretty please try to get him on our team?” He gave me the puppy dog eyes that made my heart melt. “I can‟t promise anything but I‟ll see what I can do.”

“YAY!” He squealed, sounding almost like Alice. “He moved here from Washington and has a dog and it‟s just him and his mom. I can tell he misses his dad. I shared my Peanut Butter cookie with him and he said he had never had a peanut butter cookie before, can you believe that?” The doctor side of me thought about all the problems that could have arose from Tony sharing his cookie with his new friend. Peanuts were deadly to someone who was allergic, that‟s why so many schools had banned it from their menus. “Well it sounds like you had fun today.” I was always a bit worried about Tony socially. He was a bit shy when it came to making friends and Liz had said that she would always see him wandering around the playground alone. He didn‟t seem to mind his self imposed isolation but I always hoped that he‟d find a friend that would help him out of his shell. “I did, dad. Can I take two Peanut Butter cookies in my lunch tomorrow?” I chuckled as I held his covers back for him to climb under. “Sure thing, Sport.” I kissed his forehead and he wrapped his hands around my neck, pulling me in for a hug. “Thanks, dad.” He snuggled in under his covers as I shut off his light and closed the door, leaving it cracked open slightly. Alice was sitting on Liz‟s bed showing her pictures she had clipped out of magazines. I didn‟t want to interrupt their bonding time so I quickly said good night to my daughter and gave her a quick hug. I heard Alice talking about flower girl dresses as I walked out. Everything went back to normal after Alice‟s announcement at dinner the other night. The rest of the week flew by with the same routine. I would take the kids to school and then be home in time to tuck them into bed. Every night Anthony would tell me all about the things that he and Seth had been up to. They had planned out how they were going to take the championships this year and I couldn‟t help but be proud of the way Tony had taken to being Seth‟s mentor and teaching him all things about baseball. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Alice, Liz, Tony and I arrived at the ballpark early so I could get my assignment for the day. All coaches were assessing the skills of each boy so that we had an idea of who they wanted to draft first. I was concerned that for me to guarantee Seth on our team I was going to have to give up one of the better players. The good thing was that Anthony was guaranteed to be on our team and he was the most coveted kid in the league. I walked up to the assignment desk where Coach Bell was checking off names and signing children in. “Hey there, Cullen! When are you going to stop coaching and let us have a crack at Tony?” He laughed lightly at his jibe. “Not going to happen, Coach.” I smirked and then flagged Tony over so they could give him a number to safety pin on his shirt. “I‟d like to be over at the pitching area.” I told him as he nodded. “That‟ll be fine, where do you want Emmett?” He asked as he marked us both down on his clipboard. “He‟d love to be in the batting area.” I said as I pulled Anthony back over to Alice. “Alice, I‟ve got to be here for the rest of the day so after Anthony‟s done you can take the kids home if you want.”

“Sure, whatever you need.” She said as I jogged over to the diamond where the pitching would take place. I grabbed my mitt and headed over to a few of the parents that were waiting with their children. “How many kids pitched for a team last year?” I asked the crowd as I looked over the selections. Most of the ones that raised their hands were other Coach‟s kids so they were off limits, but I grabbed the ones that weren‟t and went to evaluating their skill. The day slowly dragged on and I was sufficiently impressed with several of the newcomers. “Hey, dad.” I looked over to see my son walking over with a dark haired boy. This must be Seth. He was a lean boy but not lanky. With slightly longer hair and his complexion and bone structure told me he was Native American. He was dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt where most of the other boys were wearing their old baseball gear, a sure sign of a newbie. “Hey Slugger, who‟s your friend?” I asked as he approached. “This is Seth, I told you about him before.” I smiled at Seth. “Nice to meet you Seth, I‟m Coach Cullen. Have you played baseball before?” He shook his head sheepishly. “That‟s okay, do you have a mitt?” He shook his head no again. “Tony, why don‟t you let him borrow your mitt and we‟ll test you when he‟s done.” Anthony smiled widely and handed it over. Seth slipped it on and I could see a hint of apprehension in his stance. “It‟s okay Seth, we‟re just going to throw a few baseballs. It‟s not like a test at school, we just want to see what you need to work on.” “Kay Coach, I‟m ready.” He seemed to gain confidence after the first few throws. “Alright Seth, let me see you throw it as hard and straight as you can.” He nodded and I watched him naturally focus on my mitt without breaking his concentration, then he pulled back and let it fly. His aim was slightly high and outside but he packed a sting in his force. I saw some natural potential in his determination and skill. “Great throw, kid!” I threw the ball back at him and he caught it easily, again, not bad for being a beginner. “Let‟s see you do it again.” He nodded and I saw the same resolve come upon him as he threw it again, amazingly landing in the same place as the last throw. I‟ll have to watch his accuracy as we progress. “That was fantastic Seth, are you sure you haven‟t played before?” He beamed at my praise. “No Coach, I‟ve just been listening to everything Tony‟s been telling me and I really want to be a pitcher.” I ruffled his hair and pointed him over to Anthony. “I think we can make that happen. Go give Anthony his glove and we‟ll get him tested.” I vaguely remember Anthony telling me that his mother was a single parent. I wonder if she has someone to work with him? I made a mental note to talk to her about giving him some one on one coaching when I called all of the parents. Anthony didn‟t surprise me. He threw about ten pitches and all but one was a strike. When he was finished I watched him walk back to an awe- struck Seth. He gave him a high five when he got closer and I saw my son‟s confidence grow from the praise of his best friend.

When we were wrapping things up, Emmett came over and nudged me with his elbow. “How did things go? Did you zero in on any fresh meat?” I laughed at Emmett‟s competitive nature. I usually had to remind him that it was just a game a few times during the season. He had played college ball and was the real driving force behind Anthony. Emmett was his biggest cheerleader. “Actually, yeah. I think I have a sleeper in Anthony‟s friend Seth. He‟s got some natural talent that might not have been picked up on by the other coaches.” Emmett rubbed his hands together loving the strategy that went behind picking the perfect team then he nodded his head in agreement. “Yep, he did pretty well at hitting for never picking up a bat. We get him practicing with a Thunderstick for a few practices and he‟ll be hitting like a pro.” “He‟s a feisty little thing. I watched him put a kid in his place when he started teasing Tony.” I instantly liked the kid even more. I slapped Emmett on the back and grabbed my bag. “You‟re going to be at the draft Monday night, right?” I asked Emmett as we headed for his car. “I wouldn‟t miss it.” He smiled wider at the prospect of battling it out with the other coaches. One thing I‟ve learned over the years is that no matter who we get on our team, the boys always live up to the demands that we put on them, they learn to unify and work together for the benefit of the team. The thing I dreaded the most were the parents. The kids were great, but there was always at least one parent that would get out of line and only think about their child‟s needs instead of the needs of the team. I sure hope we don‟t have the same problems this year.

~*~ A Thunderstick is a bat that is only about two inches thick but the same weight as a normal bat. You pitch little plastic balls (almost like a lightweight plastic golf ball) and it improves their hand eye coordination.

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Chapter 5 Reptile Rules & New Friends Bella Swan-Black I really don‟t want to get out. I thought as I shut off the warm stream of water in the shower. I had woke up this morning and saw my breath in the frosty air. I jumped out of bed and cranked on the heater, hoping that by the time I got out of the shower, it would be warmer. I instantly felt the cool air when I moved the shower curtain. Shivering, I grabbed the over sized towel and wrapped it around me then grabbed a smaller one for my hair. “Sandy! Where are you?” I heard Seth calling outside the bathroom door. What on earth could he be doing? “Sandy.” He called again. “I have to find you before Buddy does, you stupid head.” I snorted at his obvious frustration. Sandy must be his new frog. Since living on the outskirts of Carmel, we are in a more rural area like when we lived in La Push. There were plenty of critters for Seth to entertain himself with.

I pulled the towel off and hung it on the rack, grabbing my underwear and slipping them on. After latching my bra I turned to grab my shirt and that‟s when I saw it. I froze and stared at the large gap under the bathroom door. All of the doors were as old as the house and the bathroom door had an almost two inch gap from the floor. Slithering slightly under the door was a small snake. “SETH!” I screamed as I jumped on top of the toilet. The green snake was completely in the bathroom now and I started to squeak as I freaked out. I hate snakes. It crept closer to my sanctuary and I started dancing on the toilet, willing it to turn around. “SEEEEETH!” I screamed again. “I‟m looking for Sandy, mom.” I heard Seth holler from the kitchen. “SANDY IS IN HERE!” I screamed again hoping that my seven year old heard me and would move his little fanny quickly. My pajama clad son burst through the door just as „Sandy‟ reached the edge of the toilet. I looked at my shocked child and pointed at the offending reptile. “GET HIM OUT OF HERE!” I shrieked at him. Seth ran over and scooped up the snake and then was gone. I sank down and sat upon the closed toilet lid. I internally growled at my child. What was he thinking, bringing a snake in the house? He knows how much I hate them. I shivered slightly while the adrenaline high I had been on started to ebb. I quickly finished getting dressed and then poked my head out of the door, making sure that there weren‟t any more surprises waiting for me. I slowly walked towards the kitchen and saw Seth out the window, still holding the snake. He had it only a few inches from his face as he carried on a conversation with it. I shuddered again and wondered how in the heck he was able to stand being that close to it. I tapped on the window, getting his attention and then pointed for him to leave the snake and come in the house. I watched him put down the snake and walk quickly to the French doors. I sighed slightly in relief when he walked in the door empty handed. I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to look as menacing as possible. When Seth saw my stance he immediately lowered his eyes and walked closer to me. “Why on the earth would you bring a snake in the house?” I asked in a growl. He flinched slightly and then looked up at me, trying to use his charms to get out of the trouble he was in. It‟s not going to work this time, Mister. “It was just a garter snake, mom. Dad said they weren‟t poisonous.” “I don‟t care if they were poisonous or not. Well...yes I do, but why did you bring it in the house?” I asked, with a slight whine to my voice. He shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his feet. “I dunno. He was just really interesting.” I sighed as the innocence of his words sank in. He‟s too curious for his own good sometimes. I didn‟t want him to think he could do this again so I pulled his chin up so he was looking in my eyes. “No more snakes in the house.” I clarified and he nodded solemnly. “Good, now go get dressed for tryouts.” He scurried back into his room while I started breakfast. When I was setting his plate on the table he ran around the corner slipping across the linoleum floor in his socks. One minute he was upright and the next her was sprawled across the floor, missing the corner of the kitchen table by mere centimeters. I ran over and knelt down beside him. “Are you okay?” His dazed eyes met mine and he nodded.

“Yep. I‟m fine.” He mumbled as he quickly stood up. This poor child had inherited my clumsy genes. We had spent more time in the hospital since he started walking than I would like to count. I‟m sure that if my father wasn‟t the police chief I would have been reported for child abuse. I‟m pretty sure that he had a cast on, in one form or another, during his entire first year of school. Everyone in La Push knew of his klutzy ways. They even gave him a tribal name that went along with his bad luck, “Oste Sumanitu Taka”, which means clumsy wolf. “Yum, pancakes and bacon.” Seth smiled up at me as he dug in. “Thanks mom.” I smiled and sat down next to him while he shoveled his breakfast into his mouth. The kid could eat non stop. I‟m going to have to take a second job by the time he is a teenager to feed him. “So are you excited about tryouts?” I asked him and his face lit up. “Yep! I can‟t wait to be on a team. Tony said that his dad was going to try to get us on the same team. His dad is a coach and Tony says that they won All-Stars last year.” He stopped abruptly and his face scrunched up as he remembered something. He looked at me with a horrified expression and I started to feel slightly panicky. “What?” “I need a baseball mitt.” He said quietly. I don‟t know why I didn‟t think about getting him a mitt before today. I may not know a lot about baseball but I do know that you need a mitt to play. I glanced at the clock and noticed that we didn‟t have time before tryouts to stop at the sporting goods store. “We‟ll have to get it after tryouts. Maybe you could borrow Tony‟s.” A relieved sigh escaped his small body and he nodded his head. “Yeah, Tony will share.” He said thinking to himself. “We‟re going to need some balls and a thunderstick.” “What‟s a thunderstick?” I asked. Seth shrugged his shoulders. “I dunno. Tony said it helps you bat.” I nodded, still not sure what it was. “Let‟s just get a mitt and some balls today until we talk to your coach, okay?” He nodded and grinned widely. I loved seeing him get excited about something, anything. Since the divorce the only thing he was interested in was getting into mischief. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO We arrived at the baseball park and I was overwhelmed with the chaos I saw. Seth jumped out of the car and tore off towards Tony who was standing with two other children. As I neared the group I realized that the small dark haired girl was no child. She was less than five feet tall with jet black hair that was a spiky disarray, making her look like something that just walked out of a C.S. Lewis novel. Her pale skin was flawless and I could tell by her designer clothes that she had money. “Hi, I‟m Seth‟s mom, Bella.” I said as I approached. She beamed up at me. “It‟s so nice to meet you, Bella. I‟m Alice,” She said shaking my hand. “Tony has not stopped talking about Seth since Monday.” I laughed lightly; totally understanding her somewhat exasperated tone. “The same goes for Seth. It‟s a tie between Tony and baseball, actually. It seems your son has brainwashed my

child.” I teased. She laughed again and shook her head. “Tony‟s my nephew. Edward, his dad, is helping evaluate the boys‟ skills so I‟m hangin‟ out until Tony‟s done.” I nodded and then looked over at the two boys. They were huddled together talking in conspiratorial whispers, not usually a good sign. “I‟m not sure what we need to do. This is Seth‟s first time playing baseball.” I looked around and Alice pointed at a small table. “That‟s where you register Seth. Come on, I‟ll walk with you.” I called Seth over and Tony followed as we walked to the registration table. Once Seth was set up with his number the boys took off to the stations. “How long is this going to take, Aunt Ally?” A beautiful little girl next to Alice asked. “It‟ll be at least an hour.” Alice said and then looked back at me. “This is Elizabeth, Anthony‟s sister.” She looked completely different than Tony. She had straight strawberry blond hair that reached her mid back and the most piercing blue eyes I had ever seen. The only similarities that she had with her brother was her fair skin. “It‟s nice to meet you, Elizabeth.” I said politely. She smiled up at me and I noticed that she looked more like her brother when she didn‟t have the small scowl on her face. “It‟s nice to meet you too.” She turned to her aunt with pleading eyes. “Can I go hang out with Shannon and Terri?” Alice looked around until she located the girls. “Yes, that‟s fine. Just stay out of the boys‟ way, okay?” She nodded her head and then took off towards the bleachers. “So Bella, Tony said that you moved to Carmel recently.” “Just last Saturday actually. We moved from a small town o the Olympic Peninsula which was about four hours from Seattle.” “Mhm. It‟s cold up there.” She shivered at the thought. I laughed at her discomfort. Most Californians don‟t know the word cold. “And rainy.” I added. “Yes, the weather is the extreme compared to what you have here.” “Actually, my brothers and I are from Alaska. So we were raised in the cold, but I came down to visit Edward when he was in school and I fell in love with California.” “How many siblings do you have?” “Just Edward and…” “Me!” A large booming voice startled me and I spun around to face a giant of a man. “Emmett.” He said as he reached out to shake my hand. He had a warm dimpled smile and pale blue eyes. His brown hair had severe blond highlights from prolonged sun exposure. He was huge standing well over six feet. “Bella.” I stuttered stunned at his striking features. I glanced at his left hand and saw a large platinum band on his ring finger. Figures. He looked over at Alice and smiled, opening his arms wide and walking towards her. She

slowly backed up. “Don‟t even think about it, Em.” He made a grab for her and she ducked under his arms and quickly darted around me. “Come on, sis. I just want a hug.” He said as he walked towards her with his arms open. Alice jumped directly behind me trying to peek over my shoulder. He continued to stalk towards me and I laughed heartily before I jumped out of his way. He got his arms around Alice and picked her up like a rag doll, her arms pinned under his massive limbs. I heard a loud “Mwah” as he planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek. “Ew. Gross Emmett.” He set her back on the ground and she furiously wiped at her cheek. “Now I need bacterial wipes.” She whined as he jogged over to the coach‟s table. “I‟ll get you back, Emmett Cullen!” She screamed at his retreating form. She turned to me and even though she flaunted her irritation, I could tell that underneath she loved it. “That‟s my oldest brother Emmett. He owns a classic car dealership down in Monterey by the wharf.” She looked around for a minute but then gave up. “Edward is around here somewhere. He‟s a doctor at Community Hospital.” I remember the parent from the school mentioning that he was a doctor and nodded my head. “So what do you do, Alice?” “I‟m the events coordinator at the Aquarium.” I smiled widely at the coincidence. “I start working at the Aquarium in a week.” Alice lit up and began to bounce in her place, a small squeal came from her lips. She has some major energy. “How awesome! What are you going to be doing?” She asked excitedly. “I‟m a Research Biologist, I‟ll be working mainly with the white shark project.” “Wow. Where did you go to school?” “I got my bachelors at the University of Washington but came to Monterey to finish my Masters.” “So you‟ve lived here before.” She stated simply. “Well then you must know about all of the fun things to do in the area.” I shook my head slowly. “Not really. I was a starving college student so my ex husband and I didn‟t get out much. Occasionally we‟d go out to one of the nice restaurants in the area but that and the beach were our form of entertainment.” “Oh, so do you surf?” I laughed at the thought of me trying to balance on a small board while being pushed by the waves. “Nope. I tried boogie boarding once but it was a disaster.” I laughed. “Hmmm. Do you golf or play racquetball?” I shook my head again.

“Nope sorry. I‟m a born klutz so I avoid any kind of sport that I can. Poor Seth has inherited my genes so I‟m a bit worried at how he‟ll do at baseball.” “He‟ll be fine, don‟t worry. It‟s a no contact sport so there‟s not much chance for him to get hurt.” Let‟s hope. But I knew that if there was ever an opportunity to get hurt, Seth would find it. “That‟s too bad that you don‟t play racquetball. Jasper and I play but he‟s opening a restaurant on Cannery Row so he hasn‟t had time to play lately.” “Who‟s Jasper?” Her face softened and her bouncing stopped. She had a wistful look on her face before she answered. “Jasper‟s my fiancé. We‟re getting married over Labor Day weekend.” “Well congratulations.” “Thank you. So are you familiar with the festivities in the area?” she asked. “No, not really.” She led me over to the bleachers and we watched as Emmett threw soft pitches to the children that were batting. “Well there‟s the Feast of Lanterns in Pacific Grove in the summer and they also have this thing called The Good Old Days next month. It‟s a street fair and they have a parade and a police motorcycle competition. We should go together.” She began bouncing again and I wondered how much caffeine this girl had in her system. “It sounds like fun.” “Let‟s see, then there is the Jazz festival and we have fireworks over the bay for the fourth and then there‟s a fantastic night life on the Row or downtown Monterey.” “It sounds like there‟s a lot to do around here, but I‟m afraid that between work and Seth, I won‟t have a lot of time. I‟m worried about how I‟m going to get Seth to baseball practice during the week.” “I wouldn‟t mind picking him up.” She offered. I nodded, grateful. “He could come home with Tony and Liz after school and we could get him to practice on those days.” I hated feeling like I was imposing on her, but I didn‟t have a lot of options since I didn‟t have family close by. “That would be a huge help Alice, thank you.” “Now we just need to make sure that Seth is on Edward‟s team. I‟ll talk to him tonight.” “I know that would make Seth happy. I think him and Tony are permanently attached at the hip.” I nodded towards the two boys who were talking with two larger boys. We continued to get to know each other until we were interrupted by an annoyed woman. “Is this your son?” She asked as she had Seth by the arm dragging him over to me. I immediately went into Mamma Bear mode and glared at her. “Yes, now let go of him.” I commanded. Who the hell did she think she was, manhandling my son. She huffed but released him. Her frizzy brown hair was flying around her face and her cheeks were slightly red because of the

anger coursing through her. “Your little heathen pushed my son in the mud.” She waved her hand towards her son. I glanced over her shoulder and saw one of the boys that Seth had been talking to earlier covered from head to toe in mud. There wasn‟t a single inch on his body that wasn‟t filthy. I looked down at Seth and he had a defiant glint in his eye. “He was being mean to Tony and I couldn‟t let him say those kinds of things about his mom.” He crossed his arms and stood his ground. I looked over and Tony was standing next to Alice whispering in her ear. She rubbed his back soothingly and shot a nasty glare at the woman standing before us when she started to speak again. “James would never say anything bad about anyone‟s mother. I taught him respect, unlike you.” She accused. I hadn‟t wanted to hit anyone more than I did at that moment. Seth was a trouble maker but he also had a strong sense of fairness and honesty. “Jessica, I think you need to teach your son about compassion.” Alice snipped at her with a fierceness that frightened me slightly. Compassion? How about some good old fashioned manners. “Tony just confirmed Seth‟s story.” “Of course he would lie for his friend.” In an instant Alice was in front of her, standing on her tip toes to get eye level with her. Her pixie like features turned hard and I watched Jessica cower slightly at the confrontation. “I suggest you turn around and take your worthless offspring and leave before I hurt your ass.” I was floored at the fierceness behind Alice‟s words. Jessica hesitantly looked at me and then back at Alice before she turned on her heal and stalked off. “Wow, remind me never to get on your bad side.” I chuckled as Alice turned back to me with a sly smile on her face. “I‟ve wanted to do that for so long. Her son wasn‟t on our team last season but she would always find her way to our field when her son was playing on the other one. She‟s a shameless flirt and has propositioned Edward, Emmett and Jasper one too many times. Rosalie almost took her head off at All-Stars last year.” “Who‟s Rosalie?” “She‟s Emmett‟s wife. They have three girls so Emmett is getting his testosterone fix by coaching.” I looked over and Seth had walked up to Tony and put his arm around his shoulder. They were talking quietly together and I couldn‟t help but worry about whatever plans Seth had in mind. “Seth.” He looked up and his smile vanished as he sulked over to me. “We‟ve had this talk before about not physically hurting someone.” He nodded his head and looked at the ground. “I know mom. He just said some really mean stuff that made Tony cry and I told him to stop but he wouldn‟t listen.” He looked up at me with a sparkle in his eye. “He didn‟t say anything else after he was spitting out mud.” I tried to force down the giggle that was bubbling up in my chest. I couldn‟t be mad at him, because I felt that same desire to push Jessica down moments earlier. Alice let out a snort beside me at Seth‟s words and I looked over at her as she turned around quickly trying to hide the silent laughing she was doing. The shaking shoulders gave her away. Tony had a huge grin on his face. “Well...just don‟t do it again.” Seth grinned with his over sized front teeth.

“Don‟t worry mom, I promise not to push him in the mud again.” I knew there was something else going on in his little mind but knew that there was no use in pushing this any further so I nodded, closing the subject. “Are you guys all done?” Alice asked the boys. “Yep, and Seth did awesome at pitching and batting and catching.” Anthony praised. He was such a sweet boy. I only hoped that some of that polite quietness would rub off on Seth. “Oh my gosh, mom!” Seth said excitedly. “Tony can throw the ball so hard, I couldn‟t even see it.” He said in awe. “I want to throw it that fast too.” I smiled at his determination. “It takes lots of practice.” I said encouraging him but I got the opposite reaction. His shoulders hunched forward a little and he sighed. “I wish dad was here. He could help me like Coach Cullen helps Tony.” My heart ripped at the longing in his voice. I pulled him close to me and for a moment I thought he would let me comfort him but he pushed me away and glared. “Please mom. Not in front of my friends.” He whispered and I laughed at his mortification of having any contact with his mother in public. “Well it was nice to meet you, Alice. We should probably exchange numbers.” I handed her my phone and she handed me hers to input our phone numbers and then waved and went our separate ways. We stopped at the small sporting good store on the way home and bought some baseballs and two gloves, one for Seth and one for me. I was probably going to be useless at teaching him anything about the game but I needed to play both parental rolls since I took him away from his father. Every chance Seth got to drag me outside to play catch he did. Buddy loved our practice time because every time I missed the ball he would scoop it up in his mouth and run all around the yard playing keep away. Occasionally Dave, our eighty year old neighbor, would come over and give Seth pointers on how to catch and throw. Seth was always extremely thoughtful about everything he was taught. I saw a purpose in him that I had never seen before and I silently thanked Anthony for giving him something to look forward to. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Tuesday evening, while I was making dinner, the phone rang. “Hello. Is this Ms. Black?” The velvety voice at the other end of the line asked. I felt a small pang of familiarity but couldn‟t place it. “Yes, this is she.” “Hi, this is Coach Cullen. I‟m Anthony‟s dad.” I smiled and thought for a moment about what the other mom had said at school that first day. If his voice was any where near an indication to what he looked like I‟m sure she wasn‟t exaggerating. “Hi Coach, please call me Bella.” He chuckled softly. “I‟m calling to let you know that Seth is on our team. I don‟t think I could have faced my son if he wasn‟t.” He laughed again and I found that I was smiling with him.

“Seth will be excited to hear this.” “Well, practices will be on Tuesdays and Thursdays from four o‟clock until six, starting this Thursday at the same field we were at on Saturday. Alice said that she‟d be happy to bring Seth home from school on those days and I‟ll bring him to the park with Anthony. You can pick him up at the park when you get off work. Is that okay?” “That would be great. This Thursday I can bring him because I don‟t start my new job until Monday.” I said off handedly. “I also wanted to talk to you about Seth‟s talent.” I rolled my eyes. If he‟s anything like me the poor kid won‟t have any. “He has some natural ability.” Shock came over me as I registered his words. “Um….are we talking about the same kid? Little Native American boy that‟s best friends with your son?” His chuckle turned into a full out laugh at my jibe. “Why do you act so surprised?” He asked between laughs. “Because he‟s my son and unfortunately, has been cursed with the klutzy gene. I should warn you that he‟s accident prone.” “It‟s a good thing I‟m a doctor then.” I laughed lightly at his quip. The easy way in which we bantered back and forth was refreshing. “So...as I was saying, he‟s got one hell of an arm. I really think if he‟s focused and redirected some of that power into accuracy he‟d be a great pitcher.” “Wow. I don‟t know what to say. What would he have to do to be a pitcher?” “He‟d have to practice a few more times a week. Do you have someone that could help him?” I snorted and then covered my nose with my hand, embarrassed at the un-lady like response, he chuckled at the other end. “Not unless my eighty year old neighbor counts. Honestly, it takes all I have just to play catch with him.” “Alright, well I‟m already working with Anthony so one more kid won‟t hurt. We usually practice on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays so how about he comes home with us until the seasons over?” I breathed a small sigh of relief. I was looking at several after school programs but most of them were too expensive and I hadn‟t gotten a chance to look into the school day care program. So this will give me some extra time to find something. “That sounds great. You really don‟t mind?” “No, not at all. When he‟s in the major leagues, I want some credit though.” He said seriously and I chuckled. “Well it was great meeting you.” “Yeah, you too.”

“Oh…wait, I forgot….Does Seth have a baseball glove? He borrowed Tony‟s at try-outs.” “Yep. We went and picked one up after try-outs. Your son was so sweet to share his with Seth.” “Tony‟s a great kid, he‟s really taken to Seth. Have your son bring his glove on Thursday.” He paused for a minute and I had wondered if we had been disconnected before he spoke again. “Um…..would you mind being the team mom?” He asked sounding kind of apprehensive. “What does it entail?” I asked. “We need a practice, game and snack schedule typed up and a team roster. Then usually the team mom is in charge of the end of season party. However, my sister has been doing it in the past so it‟s up to you on how you want to handle it. There are some other little tasks but mainly that‟s it.” “Sure. Sounds like fun.” I agreed whole heartedly. “Great. I‟ll get the information to you on Thursday. Thanks again‟ Bella.” “No problem, Coach.” “Please, it‟s Edward.” He said in a friendly tone. “Edward, then. I‟ll see you Thursday.” We hung up the phone and for the first time since moving I felt excited about something. This whole move had me second guessing everything that I did but now I feel like I am really making a life for us and what better way than to immerse myself in my son‟s activities and make some new friends in the process. “Seth?” I called from the living room. He ran in with his frog in his hand. At least it wasn‟t a snake. “Coach Cullen called and you are on the same team as Tony.” He squealed and jumped up and down, his poor frog‟s eyes bulged out even more at the quick movements. “Yay! This is going to be so fun! Thank you mom.” He ran towards me and I held out my hand to stop him. “Put all reptiles and amphibians away and wash your hands before you touch me.” He smiled and ran back to his room. Now if I could only convince him to make our home critter free my world would be perfect.

~*~

Chapter 6 First Practice Edward Cullen The draft was grueling. I was hoping that the other coaches didn‟t realize the potential in Seth. I shouldn‟t have underestimated them. When I arrived I overheard Coach Bell talking with his assistant about Seth and turning him in to the next “Slugger Cullen”. He was on their top five to draft so I knew I couldn‟t wait to snag him.

Unfortunately by doing so, I would be giving up an established pitcher. I prayed silently that I wasn‟t mistaken in my assessment. After three hours of hashing out the teams we finally came to an agreement. Emmett was a bulldog when it came to draft picks. We had the advantage of being the All-Star champs from the previous season but according to some of the coaches, we shouldn‟t have. After Emmett got in the face of one of the more vocal coaches I sent him home before he ended up in jail. It always surprised me the lengths that some people would go over a game. I‟m just as competitive as the next guy, but I draw the line at bad sportsmanship. I‟ve seen coaches and parents kicked out of games for foul language, harassing the umpire and fighting. The adults were ten times worse than the kids. However, depending on the coach and their underhanded teachings, the kids could get just as bad. Politics. Must there even be politics in little league baseball? I was happy, overall with our picks. I recognized immediately two families on our list that had reputations for causing problems. It was bound to happen. At least I had dealt with the Newtons and Crowleys before so I knew what to expect. I groaned internally at the thought of having to swat Jessica Newton away at every game and practice. I got in late that night and Anthony was already asleep so I didn‟t bother waking him up to tell him about Seth. I had to go back in to the hospital early in the morning so I wouldn‟t be able to talk to him until the following evening. I hate to think what he‟ll put Alice through tomorrow. I chuckled to myself at the thought. Tuesday evening I walked into the house and found my son sitting on the kitchen counter and Alice hovering over a scraped up knee. “Dad!” Anthony shouted when he saw me. Alice turned around with a relieved sigh. “Thank goodness the doctor‟s home. Come deal with this, I have a wedding and need to get to work.” She tossed a washrag at me and kissed Anthony on the forehead. “Thanks, Aunt Ally.” Tony said as she ran out of the house. I walked over to Anthony and squatted down to take a better look at his knee. “So sport, looks like you connected with the asphalt.” Tony nodded his head but stayed brave as I gently wiped the dirt and grime away from his wound. “I fell off my bike.” I looked up at him when he spoke. “Were you wearing your helmet?” He rolled his eyes and nodded. “Yes, dad.” I gave him a small smile and then continued to clean his knee. He winced slightly. “Sorry Sport. Road rash is not fun.” I finished cleaning it out and then smeared it with antibiotic cream and placed a large Band-Aid over it. It‟s amazing how a Band-Aid can fix any injury for a child. “All done.” He smiled at me and then I saw the excitement come over him and knew that I wouldn‟t get any rest until he had squeezed every drop of information out of me about the draft. “Who‟d we get? Did we get Seth? Did we get anyone from last year?” The questions were fired at me in quick succession. I held up my hand for him to stop and went into my study and grabbed the draft picks off of my desk

and handed it to him. He excitedly tore it open and read the names on the list. “You picked Seth first?” He asked in awe. I nodded my head at the big smile that came across his face. “Thanks, Dad!” He threw his arms around my waist and gave me a huge seven year old hug. “No problem Sport, but because I picked Seth we lost out on Jeff Dirk so we don‟t have another strong pitcher so you‟re going to have to help me teach Seth to pitch.” Tony started bouncing up and down in excitement. “Oh my gosh! This is so cool! He‟s going to be so excited!” His enthusiasm was contagious. He looked back at the list and read off a few members from our team last year but then I watched his brow furrow and a sad look came into his eyes. “What‟s up?” I nudged his shoulder gently with mine. He scowled at the paper and then looked up at me. “You picked James Newton and Laurent Crowley.” He accused and then tossed the paper back on my desk and stormed out of the room. What the hell? He had plopped down on the couch and was looking out the window. “Anthony, what‟s wrong?” I asked as I came in and sat down next to him. He blew out a long breath. “James was saying some bad things about mom at try-outs.” I bristled at the reminder. Alice had told me what had happened on the field when I got home that evening but I didn‟t realize that it was James that Seth retaliated against. Fucking great! I ran my fingers through my hair and tugged lightly trying to figure out a way to fix this. The draft was set in stone. There was no way to change it now. “I can‟t change the draft, Tony.” I looked at him, pleading that he would understand. “We‟re going to have to learn to work together.” Anthony nodded his head but continued to stare out the window. He turned and looked me in the eye with determination. “It‟ll be fine, but if he says anything bad about mom again I‟m going to hurt him.” I was taken aback by the snarl that came from his small body. Maybe Seth was going to add some fire in my son. He was always so reserved and I constantly worried that the death of his mother affected him more than he let on. However, I didn‟t want him to think that violence was the way to solve a problem. “Fighting isn‟t the answer, Tony.” He shrugged his shoulders and looked back out the window. “Tony.” I chided. “He said that she died because she was a bad mother and hated having me for a son.” I pulled him onto my lap and he buried his face in my chest. I tried to contain the growl that bubbled in my chest at the hateful things that stupid Newton kid said. “Tony, you know that your mother loved you.” He nodded against my chest and I heard a sniffle that was muffled by my shirt. “You can‟t let anyone make you doubt that.” I stroked his bronze curls until he calmed down. “You alright?” I whispered quietly. “Yep. Can we call Seth now and let him know about the team?” It amazed me at how quickly he could bounce back. Maybe it was because of Seth. I smiled and lifted him high above my head as he giggled. I leaned forward and quickly moved as I dropped him behind my back onto the sofa. I spent the next hour calling parents on the list but I couldn‟t get the nagging feeling that I had heard Seth‟s mother's voice before. I tried racking my brain and just couldn‟t place the face.

“What do you know about Seth‟s mom?” I asked Alice when she came in late that evening. She sat down on the lounge chair next to me on the balcony. It was a beautiful night with a full moon dancing off the water. “She starts work at the Aquarium next week. Why?” She looked curiously at me. “Her voice reminds me of someone, I just can‟t place it.” She smirked at me and then launched into everything she knew. “She‟s a Marine Biologist and is going to work with the shark project. She just moved here a couple of weeks ago from Washington State and she‟s single.” She gave me a sly smile and I ignored the obvious connotation behind her smile. I shook my head slowly. If she just moved here, then I probably haven‟t met her yet. I shrugged my shoulders dismissively. “Did I mention she‟s pretty?” Alice said slowly, watching my reaction carefully. “Alice. Please.” I said in an irritated tone. “What? She is.” Alice defended. “I‟ve never seen such beautiful mahogany hair and she has very expressive eyes.” Her smile grew wider as she described her features. I rolled my eyes and stood up. “Good night Alice.” I wanted to escape before we got into another „You need to move on‟ discussion. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Thursday afternoon came quickly. Alice picked up the kids from school and had Anthony ready for practice when I got home. She shoved a sandwich in my hand when I walked in the door and had all of the gear packed in the back of the Volvo before I could change out of my scrubs and into a pair of jeans and Baseball shirt. “You need to hurry up or you‟re going to be late!” She called from the kitchen. I shoved the last of the sandwich in my mouth and banged on Tony‟s bedroom door as I passed. “Let‟s go, Slugger!” I got to the door and turned around, noticing that he didn‟t come out of his room. I walked back and flung open his door to find his room empty. “Where‟s Anthony?” I asked Alice as I came back in the kitchen. She giggled and pointed outside. “He‟s been sitting in the car since you got home. Do ya think he‟s a little anxious?” She laughed a little harder and smacked me on the shoulder lightly. I grinned and jogged out to the car, not wanting to stress him out anymore. I climbed in the car to a perturbed child. “What took you so long?” He asked in an exasperated voice. “Chill out. We‟ll be there on time.” I laughed. “You worry more than your Nanna Esme.” He shook his head and I chuckled at his obvious denial at my accusation. “No one worries more than Nanna.” He said but then relaxed when we were only a few minutes from the park.

We arrived before anyone else and I quirked my brow at my son. “See, we still got here before everyone else. Grab the gear and I‟ll get the ice chest.” He ran around the back of the car and lifted the over sized bag out of the car. It looked almost as big as him but he handled it like a pro. Just as I pulled the ice chest out Emmett drove up and hopped out of his jeep. “What do you need help with?” He asked as he came up to my car. “Grab the bucket of balls and here are the keys to the equipment shed. Get the bases out and set them up.” Emmett nodded as he took the keys and balls, and then jogged over to the shed. Anthony had pulled out all of the bats and had them lined up on the fence, perfectly spaced apart. I made a mental note to have him checked for OCD. “Let‟s get in a few pitches while we‟re waiting for everyone to get here.” I said as I ruffled Tony‟s hair. He smiled widely and grabbed his glove. As Tony was warming up several boys trickled over with their parents. I pulled my son off the mound and walked over to the crowd. Emmett was sounding off names and checking them off on his clipboard. I looked around looking for Seth but didn‟t see him. I heard a loud voice yelling for Anthony and looked over my shoulder to see Seth running from the parking lot and making a bee line straight for him. I smiled as they gave each other a knock of their fists in greeting. I waved them over to the group just as Emmett was finished with roll. Emmett went on to explain our team rules and then turned to introduce me. “Now, there are only two of us coaching so we‟d appreciate any help from the parents during practices.” A few heads nodded in agreement and I heard a couple vocally support my request. “Our team mom is Bella Black and she‟ll be handling the schedules and end of season party.” I looked over at Seth and he pointed over my other shoulder. I turned and momentarily forgot what I was saying when I spotted the woman I had met on the beach last week. She looked slightly stunned as well. I turned back to Seth quickly. “Is that your mom?” He nodded and I had to smile at the coincidence. One of the parents had asked about positions so Emmett took over the conversation. “Every child will get to play each position sometime throughout the season. As their skill improves they‟ll be switched to infield and if they show drive and determination they‟ll get a chance to pitch.” Emmett answered a few more questions while I grinned like a fool. Occasionally I would glance over at Bella and she would quickly look away. She‟s probably feeling as awkward as I do right now. For some reason, that made me smile wider. “Let‟s get this practice started. Boys huddle up.” Emmett bellowed as all the boys scurried over to him. I reached in beside him and he gave the cheer before all the boys shouted in unison. “One, Two, Three, GO GIANTS!” Emmett separated the boys into three groups, one for batting, one for pop flies and the last for grounders. He asked Mike Newton to work with the boys on grounders, I took the fly balls and Emmett took the batting groups and we quickly split up. I wonder what she‟s thinking right now? I chuckled to myself as I went to work hitting balls into the air. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Bella Swan-Black Seth had been driving me crazy for the past two days with his constant chatter about baseball. However, I smiled and acted interested every time he would bring it up. I was so glad that Coach Cullen was going to take on the role of baseball mentor. We were running a little late when we pulled into the parking lot at the baseball field. As soon as I had the car in park, Seth was out the door and flying across the field. I climbed out of the car and walked towards the gathering parents. Emmett was talking about team rules and I hoped to blend in and not be noticed because we were late but then I heard that smooth voice from the phone a few days earlier. “Now, there are only two of us coaching so we‟d appreciate any help from the parents during practices.” My head snapped to the bronze haired man standing a few feet from Emmett and my mouth dropped open. “Our team mom is Bella Black and she‟ll be handling the schedules and end of season party.” I felt a familiar blush reach my cheeks at the sound of my name and then he turned and looked at me. His features turned from curiosity to recognition in a flash and then he turned back to Seth. “Is that your mom?” He asked Seth and my cheeks flamed hotter than before. Seth nodded and then he turned back to me, a crooked grin was upon his lips. Emmett continued the discussion, answering questions from the other parents. I found myself staring at Edward and it wasn‟t until his eyes met mine that I snapped out of my daze and looked away. He‟s married! I kept telling myself over and over again but my eyes still continued to wander back in his direction. I pulled myself together and went to sit on the bleachers as the coaches took the boys out on the field. My eyes rarely strayed from the bronze haired god on the field. He was so good with the boys, giving them encouragement and stopping occasionally to show them the proper way to catch the ball. I watched Seth as he took in everything that Edward was teaching him with a sense of hero worship. “Hey, Mrs. Black?” I looked at the blond haired man that was throwing ground balls to the boys. His fingers were threaded through the fencing of the back stop and he had a large smile on his face. “It‟s just Bella.” I responded and his smile grew larger. “Married?” He asked and I felt wary at the question. Usually men weren‟t quite as obvious about their attention. “Um….divorced.” I said and then looked away quickly; trying to avoid the interest he was paying to my marital status and hoping he would turn his attention back to the boys. “Bella!” A sing song voice sounded from behind me and I turned grateful for the interruption. Alice climbed up on the bleachers next to me and glared at the ogling pest before turning her full attention to me. “How have you been this week?” She asked, completely ignoring the nuisance on the other side of the fence. I heard a small huff and then saw out of the corner of my eye he turn and walk back to the boys. As soon as he was out of earshot I whispered to her. “Who was that?” “That is the infamous Michael Newton of Newton Construction.” She wrinkled up her nose and then continued. “He and his wife don‟t have the best reputation around here. He tends to be somewhat of a bully and you‟ve

already met his lovely wife.” “Jessica?” She nodded at my acknowledgment. Great! The wicked witch of the west was going to be a thorn in my side for the rest of the season. “The one and only. I already filled you in on her…..um……finer qualities.” She shook her head in disgust. “I just feel sorry for Edward, he‟s going to be dodging her advances for the next three months.” I looked out on the field and saw those piercing green eyes fixed on me. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks as I quickly looked away. “Did you finally meet Edward?” Alice asked as she had followed my gaze out to the field. “Informally.” I said quietly. “However, we met on the beach the first night I moved here.” Alice was slightly taken aback at my statement so I quickly tried to explain, not wanting her to get the wrong idea. “I was running my dog out on the beach and he wouldn‟t leave Edward alone.” I shrugged my shoulders showing that it wasn‟t a big deal but by the look in Alice‟s eyes I wasn‟t sure she felt the same way. “When was this?” “A week from last Saturday.” Alice sucked in a large breath and stared at me wide eyed. “The eighth?” She asked in wonder. I quirked an eyebrow at her with a questioning look. “Yeah, why?” She just slowly shook her head. “It‟s just a huge coincidence.” She continued to puzzle me with her cryptic answers. “What‟s a coincidence?” I thought about the coincidence of meeting on the beach and then our children becoming friends but that didn‟t explain her strong reaction to hearing the date. Alice seemed to snap out of her haze. “Nothing. How‟s Seth doing with practice?” I was a little put out at her sudden change of subject but then I felt a little silly for not being able to answer the question due to the fact that I was ogling her brother earlier. “Um…he seems to be doing fine.” I looked across the field and found him with Emmett in a low squat with a bat in his hands. Emmett was standing behind him, helping to put him in the proper position for batting, then he handed him the bat. Seth pulled the bat back and rested it on his shoulder. Emmett gently pulled the bat off of his shoulder and showed him how to hold it. There was a sweetness in the way Emmett talked to the boys. In the short amount of time that I knew him I could tell that he loved the game and wanted to share that enthusiasm with his nephew. “Emmett‟s really good with the boys.” She smiled and nodded her head. “Yeah, I feel bad for him. All that baseball knowledge and no boys to share it with. Anthony is completely spoiled between Edward and Emmett and their passion for the game, they‟ve turned him into a walking statistics machine.” I laughed out loud at her assessment. “Apparently, it has rubbed off on my son. Seth, who has never watched baseball on TV to my knowledge came in and spouted off Sammy Sosa‟s batting averages” She smiled widely. “You know that Edward is really excited about teaching Seth how to pitch. Tony hasn‟t stopped talking about it since Tuesday.”

“I‟m just grateful that he‟s taking him under his wing. I know nothing about baseball.” “It‟s fairly simple.” A deep voice answered from behind us. I looked up, surprised that someone was ease dropping on our conversation. “Tyler Crowley. San Francisco 49er.” He introduced himself with a pompous smirk. Who does that? I would never dream of saying „Isabella Swan, Marine biologist.‟ It was obvious that he thought a lot about himself. Self importance dripped from every rippling muscle. I looked over at Alice and she had the same annoyed look that I‟m sure was written across my face. “I thought you were a retired 49er.” She sang as a sly smile spread across her lips. “Weren‟t you kicked off the team last year for steroid use?” I snorted and then covered my mouth quickly and looked away trying to hide the humor of her words. However, I couldn‟t hold in the shaking of my shoulders as I silently laughed. “Those charges were never proven.” He said defiantly. Alice shrugged her shoulders daintily and then looked back at me and winked, sending me into an uncontrollable fit of giggles. “Whatever.” Tyler stood up and stalked towards the parking lot. “He‟ll go brood in his car for awhile. He‟s not the one you need to watch out for. His wife, Lauren, is a bitch. Trust me. You‟ll know her when you see her. Imagine Barbie but blown up wherever a surgeon could blow her up.” Her hands went to her chest as she emphasized where that would be, then she laughed. “Her son is a pest too. He‟s best friends with James, the boy that picked on Anthony at the try-outs.” I nodded letting her know that I knew who she was talking about. “Those two boys have been cruel to Anthony since he started school. I think that with Seth around things might get better.” I smiled apologetically. “I need to apologize in advance for anything Seth may do in the future. He doesn‟t always think before he acts.” Alice waved her hand dismissively. “Don‟t worry about it. Tony needs a little adventure in his life. He‟s much too reserved.” “Do you have plans for after practice tonight?” Alice asked. “No, just going to head home and make dinner.” “Why don‟t you come and have pizza with us?” I smiled at her invitation. “That sounds fantastic.” I also had a masochistic side of me that wanted to find out a little more about Edward. I tried to convince myself that it was only because Seth would be spending so much time with him. It was only right that I learned more about the man that would have my child three days a week. “Who‟s going to be there?” I asked trying to feel around for more information about Edward‟s wife. “Just Edward, Tony, Liz and me and of course, you and Seth.” I nodded my head, not getting the real answer to my question. “Is Edward‟s wife working?” A pained expression came across Alice‟s face and I considered apologizing for

prying when she answered my question. “Tanya, Edward‟s wife, died three years ago.” My heart dropped into my toes at the pain I heard in her voice. She obviously was very close to Edward‟s wife. I mumbled an apology but she just smiled softly at me. My thoughts drifted to Tony and Elizabeth and I held back tears thinking about the grief that these kids had gone through. The loss must be devastating. At that moment I was grateful that Seth still had Jake, even if he lived in another State.

~*~

Chapter 7 Pizza Edward Cullen Seth and Anthony were helping me gather the balls and gear after practice was over. My gaze occasionally went to my sister as she talked animatedly with Seth‟s mother. I shook my head at the coincidence that had brought our two families together. As I threw the assortment of bats into the bag I peaked at her casually and had to admit that Alice‟s assessment of her was dead on. She was pretty and her hair was thick and rich, I had a sudden urge to run my fingers through her hair. Cut it out Cullen. It‟s just hair. I watched as she threw her head back and laughed at something that Alice had said and I caught myself smiling too. “Dad! Dad! Seth and his mom are gonna come and have pizza with us.” He said excitedly as I zipped up the bag and handed it to him. He hefted the bag over his shoulder and smiled widely as he and Seth ran towards the car. I suddenly felt nervous as I walked closer to Alice and Bella. As I approached, Alice‟s smile got bigger and I couldn‟t help but be slightly afraid at what she may have planned. She had tried setting me up with her friends in the past, which I halted before she could make any concrete plans. However, the look in her eyes now told me that she wasn‟t going to stop this time. She met my eyes as I came up behind Bella and I quickly gave my head a shake, warning her to behave. “Bella. This is my brother Edward.” She sang as I stopped beside her. I looked into Bella‟s face and a warm smile radiated back at me. I was momentarily stunned at the genuine way she took my hand in a firm hand shake. There was no ulterior motives in her actions and for once it was refreshing not to feel uncomfortable around the opposite sex. “It‟s nice to put a name with the face.” I laughed casually at her teasing tone. “Likewise. I simply thought of you as Buddy‟s owner.” Oh no, did I just admit to thinking about her before? Alice started bouncing in her seat and I had my answer. I mentally screamed at myself for the blunder. Now it‟s going to be impossible to keep Alice from playing the matchmaker. She had a tendency to overreact if I showed any interest in anything. Have I really gotten that reclusive? “I need to go pick up Liz at her friend‟s house and then we‟ll meet you at the pizza place.” Alice said as she grabbed her designer bag and headed towards her car. We watched her bounce across the field and I heard Bella chuckle beside me.

“She has way too much energy.” I laughed at her evaluation. “If only you knew.” Bella smiled up at me and for the first time since before Tanya died I wanted to get to know someone. “So….Alice helps out with your kids?” She asked, in almost a whisper. “Uh… yeah.” I wondered at how much Alice has told her about our family situation. My hand went immediately to my ring and I twirled it between my fingers carefully. If Bella noticed my actions, she didn‟t say anything. Thanks to my articulate answer, we walked quietly back to the parking lot together. Seth and Tony were running around my car in a ball of energy. My usually reserved child was laughing and screaming at the top of his lungs. I grinned widely at his energy and wondered for a moment if this was who he really was. I rarely saw this playful side to him. “Dad! Can Seth ride with us?” He bounced on the balls of his feet and I caught a glimpse of Alice in his excitement. How was I supposed to deny him? “It‟s fine with me, but it‟s up to his mom.” I jutted a finger over at Bella and she smiled at me. “That‟s fine.” She said as I nodded to the boys, jumping into the backseat and fastening their seat belts. “Do you know where Allegro‟s Pizza is?” She shook her head quickly. “It‟s just a couple of blocks up, you can follow me.” Grinning I climbed into my car. I watched as she quickly got in her car and pulled out. I pulled into the parking lot and Bella pulled in the space next to me. I jumped out and ran around her car, opening the door for her. She looked up at me in shock and I felt a little silly for being so formal. I held my hand out to her to help her out of the car and she started cracking up. I heard an occasional snort come out of her and I was slightly put out by her response. That was not the reaction I expected. I frowned down at her and eventually she looked back up at me tears cascading down her cheeks. “I‟m sorry. I wasn‟t expecting the gallant knight to come and help me out of my car.” Her eyes danced as she smirked up at me and I realized that she was just teasing. I guess it was kind of silly but I was always taught by my mother to be courteous and gentlemanly. I smiled down at her but held my hand out anyway. She shrugged nonchalantly and took my hand as I helped her out. When I released her hand, I could still feel her imprint on it as I flexed my fingers trying to erase the sensation and the mysterious nag of guilt. Seth and Tony were quietly watching the complete exchange so I turned to both of them. “Always open the door and offer your hand to a lady.” I instructed as both boys looked on and nodded their heads in understanding. I turned back to Bella and she rolled her eyes, giving me a lopsided grin. The boys shot to the restaurant and were inside heading for the video games before we made it to the front door. I opened the door and motioned for her to go in ahead of me. I heard a small sigh escape her lips before she turned and faced me. “Honestly, the chivalry can take a break. I can manage to open the door on my own.” I took her elbow and led her into the restaurant. “I‟m sure you can, but that‟s not the point.” “Well then what exactly is the point?”

“Do you let anyone do anything for you?” She thought about that question for a moment and then sighed thoughtfully. “No, I‟m not used to someone being so….so, attentive.” I gave her my crooked grin and bent down to whisper in her ear. “You shouldn‟t settle for anything less.” I pulled away and walked over to the bar ordering a couple of pizzas and pitcher of Root Beer. She was hovering over my shoulder and trying to push a twenty dollar bill in my hand but I refused to accept it. “My treat.” I said but she stuffed the money in the inside of my shirt and walked away. I chuckled at her determination and pulled the bill out of my shirt. I grabbed the pitcher and glasses and followed her to a table. The boys ran up just as we were sitting down. “Dad, can we have some quarters for the game?” I grinned at Bella and pulled the twenty out that she had given me, my smile widened as I handed it to Seth. “Your mom said you guys could have ten dollars in quarters just make sure you give the change to your mom.” The boys grabbed the money and headed to the counter as she glared at me from across the table. “What?” I asked innocently. Bella shook her head and gave me a brilliant smile. “You tend to get what you want don‟t you?” I chuckled at her evaluation. “Most of the time, yes.” “So, what is it you do, Edward?” She stirred her straw around in her drink and looked up at me. “I‟m one of the resident surgeons at Community Hospital. I‟ve been there for about five years.” She nodded thoughtfully before taking a sip of her drink. “And you? What brought you to Monterey?” “My old professor called and let me know that there was an opening at the Aquarium.” Her eyes lit up as she spoke. “I‟ll be working with the white shark while she‟s here. It‟s pretty amazing that they‟ve had her for so long.” We sat and talked for awhile about her previous time in Monterey and my schooling at Stanford. I marveled at the ease in which our conversation flowed. She was interesting and I found that the more she talked, the more I had to know about her. We were so engrossed in our conversation that neither of us noticed Alice had come in with Liz. Liz sat down next to me and wrapped her arm around me. She rarely showed any form of affection so I treasured it while it lasted by wrapping my arm around her and pulled her against my side. “Liz, you remember Bella?” Alice asked as she poured a glass of soda. Liz nodded her head and looked over at Bella. “Are you married?” Elizabeth asked Bella. I wasn‟t sure where she was heading with her question and I wasn‟t completely sure I wanted to find out. Lately, she was a ticking time bomb and rarely did she deactivate herself. I squeezed her closer to me in a warning not to be rude.

“Divorced.” Bella said quietly and I could feel the slight embarrassment coming from her. “Why?” Liz asked and I immediately cut in not liking where this was going. “I‟m sorry Bella; please don‟t feel obligated to answer that question. It was rude.” I said as I gave my daughter a gentle squeeze letting her know to end her inquiry. She turned her head into my chest, embarrassed at my reprimand. “Liz, I bet you can‟t beat me at Ms. Pac Man this time.” Alice challenged. Looking for any reason to flee Liz shot up and quickly made her way over to the game room. Alice gave me a conspiratorial wink and excused herself from the table. “Again, I apologize for her rude line of questioning.” I said once they were out of ear shot. Bella waved her hand dismissively at me. “Please…if I had a quarter for every time Seth said something he shouldn‟t, I‟d be a very rich woman.” We chuckled together at the awkwardness of the situation. Bella‟s eyes flitted from her drink to my hands and I realized that I was twirling my wedding ring again. I pulled my hands off of the table and set them in my lap. “So…how are you liking the school?” I asked trying to restart the conversation that we were sharing before Liz had made things uncomfortable. “While I was checking in Seth that first day I had a shock. I practically mowed over Clint Eastwood in one of my more graceful moments.” She confessed with a laugh. “I was so star struck that I barely got out the apology.” “I saw you in the office that day.” I admitted and immediately wished I would have kept my mouth shut. She looked down at her drink and I saw a dark blush cover her skin. Lovely. “I saw you through the office window when I dropped the kids off. I recognized you from the beach.” I tried to explain without sounding like a stalker. She gave me a shy smile and I mentally kicked myself again for having a motor mouth, neither one of us really knew what to say after that. I didn‟t fully understand how we could have such an easy conversation and then have it turn so terribly awkward. The pizza arrived and the kids came running in with Alice following close behind. The boys dominated most of the conversation at the table and I caught Elizabeth staring at Bella a few times during dinner but Bella seemed to be unaware of the scrutinizing way Elizabeth was looking her over. “We should be going. Thank you for dinner.” Bella said to me as she got up with Seth. “Awwww mom. Can‟t we stay for a little while longer? I still have two quarters left.” Seth whined before holding out his last two quarters. Bella gave him the look and then shook her head at him. He instantly quieted down. I had to hand it to her she had mastered the look. That was something that Tanya and Esme had down pat too. Maybe it was a mother thing because every time I tried to give it to my kids they would just whine more. She smiled at me and I didn‟t want her to leave yet either. “The team information.” I remembered as I jumped out of my seat a little too eagerly. I heard a small snicker come from Alice and shot her a death glare before heading out with Bella to the parking lot. Seth climbed in her car and closed the door, leaving us alone once again.

I fumbled with my keys and then grabbed the information off of the front seat. “Here‟s all the team information that we talked about on the phone. Uh…..if you have any questions my home and cell phone numbers are in there.” I fumble through the file for a moment before handing it over. I heard a small giggle out of her and looked up to see the twinkle in her eye. She captivated me with her warm brown eyes. “If you wanted to give me your number there are better ways to go about it.” She teased. My smile widened and I reached up and brushed a lock of her hair off of her shoulder. It was so natural that I didn‟t think about what I was doing until after I had already done it. “If you wanted it, all you had to do was ask.” She ducked her head in a shy gesture and turned for her car. I felt a moment of panic that I had said the wrong thing but then she turned when she reached her car door. “Aren‟t you going to open the door for me?” I gave her a crooked grin and quickly made my way to her door. I made a small bow and then a grand sweep of my arm as I overly exaggerated the chivalrous act. “Your highness, your carriage awaits.” She snorted at my dramatic theatrics and I chuckled at her unladylike laugh. “Thank you, valiant knight.” She went into a curtsy and then plopped down in her seat. I closed the door tightly and stood by the car until she pulled out. As I walked back into the restaurant I chuckled to myself. I can‟t believe I flirted with her. How long has it been since I had done that? It all seemed so natural but now I wondered if maybe I was too forward. I didn‟t want to make things more awkward between us, but she started it so maybe she was okay with it. I growled at myself for the self doubt that plagued me. I was confident in every aspect of my life except for this. It had been so long since I had been in this kind of situation. “I want to ride with Aunt Ally in the Porsche. You‟ve already gotten to ride in it today.” Tony crossed his arms over his chest and glared at his sister. “Liz, why don‟t you ride with me? We haven‟t had a chance to talk today.” I tried to diffuse the situation before we had an all out war in the middle of the restaurant. She gave Anthony a harsh look and then stomped out to my car. Alice shrugged her shoulder, then took a victorious Anthony by the hand and led him out to her car. “Why was Seth‟s mom at pizza?” Elizabeth demanded when I got settled into the car. I could hear the hint of jealousy in her voice. “Well….Aunt Alice invited her. I‟m also going to be working with Seth as much as I do with Tony at pitching so I‟m sure she‟d like to get to know who her son was spending time with.” “Do you like her?” “She seems nice enough.” I said vaguely, hoping to deter her from her interrogation. “No dad, that‟s not what I meant. Do you like her, like her?” “Elizabeth, I just met the woman for Pete‟s sake. Calm down. We‟ll probably be spending time together because of baseball. Can‟t your dad have a female friend?” I asked her emphasizing the friend part. She folded her arms over her chest and looked out the window. After a long silence she relented.

“Yes. You need more friends, dad. You don‟t ever do anything unless it‟s with us.” I reached over and patted her knee. “Thank you sweetheart, but I like spending time with you and your brother so I‟m not sacrificing anything.” We pulled into the driveway and Liz had unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed quickly on my lap. “I love you daddy.” She whispered into my shirt and for a moment I saw my little girl again. The one that loved to cuddle and make daisy chains, the little girl that she was before she grew up too fast from the tragedy in her life. I kissed the top of her head and climbed out of the car, throwing her onto my back I ran up the steps to the front door. She squealed in delight as I ran into the living room and tossed her on the couch. “You‟ve got ten minutes and then piano lessons.” She nodded quickly and ran for her room. “So big brother. You seemed a little cozy with Bella when we came in.” Alice gave me a knowing smile. Was that what it really looked like? “Alice, please. No matchmaking.” She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. “Come on, Edward. It‟s been three years. It‟s time to move on.” Here we go again. The infamous moving on speech. “Do you honestly think that Tanya would want you to be alone forever? I loved her too, Edward. I miss her too. She was my best friend and I know that she would want you to find someone that can make you happy. I‟m not saying that Bella is the one to do that but you need to get out there…..date……hell, go get laid. I don‟t care just do something!” I chuckled at her speech. That was the first time she told me to go out and get some. Hell, this was the first time I‟ve found her remarks to be humorous. Usually we end up arguing for hours. “Maybe.” I conceded. She squealed loudly and clapped her hands together. “Calm down, Alice. If the right situation comes up, I‟ll consider it.” “What about Bella? She‟s attractive and smart. I‟m sure she‟d do you.” “Alice.” I warned over my bark of laughter. “I can‟t believe we came from the same set of parents. Didn‟t Esme teach you anything about being a lady?” She smirked at me and then shook her head a sly smile playing at her lips. I instantly recognized her obtrusive demeanor. “Don‟t get your meddling pixie self into the middle of this. If it happens, it happens. I don‟t need any help from you.” I scolded her, knowing that if I didn‟t put a stop to it I would find myself neck deep in one of her schemes. “Don‟t worry brother dear. I won‟t do anything to come between you and a sweet piece of…..” “Dad? Are you ready for piano lessons?” Liz said as she walked into the room in her flannel pajamas and bunny slippers. I gave Alice a pointed look not to finish the sentence she was rudely going to say. She winked at me and then turned toward her room. I spent the next half an hour showing Elizabeth how to play The Entertainer. Her skills were quickly improving and I was amazed at how well she could play by ear. When we finished she leaned against me. “Play mom‟s song, Daddy.” It was the first time she had asked to hear it since Tanya‟s death. I shook my head

lightly. “I‟m sorry, baby. It‟s been too long. I don‟t think I could do it justice.” A small tear came to her eye and she nodded. “It‟s okay.” She sniffed back her tears and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her into my lap. “Maybe you could practice and show me next week. I really want to learn how to play it.” I nodded and then gave her a kiss on the top of her head. “I‟ll see what I can do.” I couldn‟t bring myself to promise that I would be able to give her what she wanted. The phone rang as Alice came out of her room. She quickly danced over to it and a huge smile lit up her features as she scanned the caller ID. “Go get in bed and I‟ll be in there in a minute.” I whispered. Elizabeth sat up and kissed my cheek before running into her room. “Edward, the phone is for you.” She sang from the kitchen. I got up from the piano and walked into the kitchen. Alice‟s smile was even bigger than it was a second ago and I concluded that it could only be one person. Bella “Hello?” “Edward, hi it‟s Bella.” She sounded a bit nervous. I smiled, liking that I wasn‟t the only one. I shooed Alice away because she would be hanging on every word I would say otherwise. With a pout she left me alone. “Hi, what can I do to you?” I heard a small gasp from the living room and immediately realized my slip up. “Excuse me?” Bella asked a small laugh in her voice. “I mean, for you. What can I do for you?” Nice one stupid. I buried my face in my hands, totally mortified at what I just said. I heard Alice‟s tinkling laugh from the other room. She‟s never going to let me live that one down. “Um….” She laughed nervously. “I was wondering about pitching practice for Seth tomorrow. You mentioned Monday, Wednesday and Friday.” “I have to work late tomorrow so we can start on Monday.” I suggested, trying desperately not to let the embarrassment show in my voice. “That‟ll be great. I start work Monday so I‟ll swing by the field around five thirty.” “Sure, see ya then.” I said quietly and then hung up the phone after our goodbyes. I turned around and Alice was leaning against the door frame. “You got it bad.” She smirked. “Shut it.” I growled and then raked my fingers through my hair. Annoying stupid pixie.

~*~

Chapter 8 Monterey Bay Aquarium Bella Swan Black “Seth! Feed your dog!” I hollered for the third time from the bathroom trying to keep from poking my eye out with the mascara wand. “I will, I will. Gosh mom, you don‟t have to yell.” He stomped out of his room and out the door. I grumbled under my breath. Why is it on the first day that I have to be at work he‟s got to be difficult? I threw the mascara back into my make-up bag and scrunched my hair, trying to get the curl to come out more. I opened the cabinet under the sink, reaching for the hair spritzer only to have a green object hurl itself out at me. A blood curdling scream ripped through my lips as a huge, slimy, green frog landed on my socked foot. I squealed again, flipping the offending critter off my foot before jumping out of the bathroom and slamming the door behind me. I let out a shudder before the heat rose in my cheeks. Count to ten Isabella. He‟s just a curious boy that loves reptiles. He doesn‟t mean to scare the hell out of you. I walked into the kitchen just as Seth came back into the house. “What happened mom? I heard you scream.” He innocently looked up at me and any anger that I was feeling before had melted away. “There is an extremely large frog in the bathroom.” He looked at me excitedly and then realized that my finding his new friend probably wasn‟t a good thing. “I‟m sorry mom. I don‟t know how he got out.” I sighed heavily and shook my head. “We need to go. Are you ready? Did you brush your teeth?” I inquired as he ran into the bathroom and scooped his pet up, then deposited it in the makeshift cage that he had made out of several shoe boxes. Note to self, pick up a reptile cage at the pet store. Why again do I encourage this? He ran back into the bathroom and brushed his teeth while I finished getting ready. Ten minutes later we were finally in the car and on our way to his school. I pulled into the drop off lane and scanned the area hoping to catch a glimpse of Edward just like I did Friday morning. “Don‟t forget, you‟re going home with Anthony today. I‟ll pick you up at the field when I get off work.” “Bye mom.” Seth waved as he closed the door. I pulled out onto the street and felt a pang of disappointment at not seeing Edward. As I drove to the Aquarium my mind went over, for the millionth time, the night of the first practice. I had never met anyone like Edward. His polite demeanor was something I was not used to. All of Jake‟s friends were my friends and they all acted like a pack of ravenous wolves. You were lucky if you got a slice of pizza. I swear their parents starved them when they were children. I don‟t remember Jake ever opening a door for me. It didn‟t bother me at the time because that‟s just who he is, but now that I‟ve gotten a taste of common courtesy, will I ever want to go back to the clueless Bella who was happy with what she got? I then remembered all the times over the last few days that Seth took Edward‟s instructions to heart and opened my door. Every single door I came to, I groaned inwardly.

Even though Edward was a widower, I knew that he wasn‟t available. He still wore his wedding ring after three years. That kind of devotion shows that they had a love that I would never be able to live up to, nor did I want that kind of pressure, I told myself. But no matter how many times I said that it wouldn‟t work, my mind kept turning back to the possibility. He did respond to my apparent flirting and his little slip up on the phone had me hoping that he was thinking about me in a non platonic way. I smiled when I remembered our awkward phone conversation. He seemed so nervous and I found it very endearing. I arrived at the Aquarium with a few minutes to spare so I hurried in through the back entrance and looked around, not really sure which way to go. “Hi, are you Isabella Black?” A brunette around my size asked. “I am, but it‟s just Bella.” I smiled and held out my hand in introduction. She grasped it firmly in hers. “Great! I‟m Angela Weber and I‟m the environmental specialist for the Shark Project. We‟ll be working closely together to make sure the white shark is getting what she needs.” I nodded my understanding as she led me down a long hallway that led to the Outer Bay tank. She rattled off all of the things that I would be doing and reassured me that she would be attached to my hip until I felt comfortable on my own. We climbed a long stairway that ended at a huge metal door that led to an observation room. I gazed into the tank watching for a glimpse of the beautiful creature I would be responsible for. I still couldn‟t believe that I was here. “This is where we spend most of our time. She‟s on a daily feeding schedule but we have to time everything perfectly or she won‟t eat. She‟s a bit picky over where, when, and how she‟s fed.” I was so excited at the idea of watching her feed that I could barely contain myself. This really was a once in a lifetime opportunity. A great white shark had never lasted in captivity more than a few days. Aquariums had to let them go after they refused to eat. Not so with this amazing fish. It had taken her a few days to accustom herself to her surroundings but then by a mighty miracle she fed. I remember reading the miraculous event in the newspaper and then followed her progress online until I received the phone call to come and be a part of the project. I spotted her and sucked in an enthusiastic breath as she swam directly in front of the window. I stood in awe at the sheer force and gracefulness of her movements. She was around seven feet long and I could see clear battle wounds across her fin, probably when she got stuck in the fisherman‟s netting. “Amazing, isn‟t she?” I heard Angela whisper behind me. I nodded, unable to form the words through the excitement I had at being here. She chuckled at my stunned silence. We spent the remainder of the morning filling out paperwork and catching me up on how to operate the recording equipment and the data sheets that needed to be filled out hourly. We spent time checking the water levels and chemical values of the tank before she told me I should go to lunch. I exited the hallway into the main lobby and immediately spotted Alice. She waved me over as I made my way to her. “Hey Bella. How‟s your first day at work?” “It‟s been amazing. I‟m just headed to lunch.” I said with a wistful smile on my face. “Oh good. Me too. Do you want to have lunch together?” Alice asked slightly bouncing on the balls of her feet. “Yeah, that sounds great where were you going?”

“My fiancé, Jasper, owns a restaurant down Cannery Row about a block.” She said with a small clap and then linked her arm in mine. “Sounds great.” We walked out of the lobby and onto the streets of Cannery Row. The sun was shining and I smiled to myself, thankful for the opportunity I had to live in an area that only saw rain a few weeks out of the year. It was such a huge difference from La Push and I vowed to treasure every moment of it. “What‟s got you so happy?” Alice asked as we walked briskly towards the heart of Cannery Row. “The weather.” I smiled wider at her. “Washington was wet, wet and more wet, especially in the early spring. This weather feels like the few days of summer we get up there and I love it.” Alice bounced happily next to me. “Why would you live somewhere you hated? Life‟s too short to settle for mediocrity.” She looked up at me expectantly and I just shrugged my shoulders. “My ex husband has family and responsibilities there, plus my dad still lives there.” She nodded slowly as she pushed the door open into the Paradiso restaurant. An incredibly gorgeous blond was talking quietly to the hostess when Alice bound in and launched herself into his arms. A chuckle was heard over her loud kisses across his face. I laughed at the stunned look on the hostess's face. “Calm down, Darlin‟. You‟re going to scare my new hostess.” Alice peeled herself away and whispered her apologies. “Jasper, I want you to meet Bella.” She said as she took his arm and led him over to me. He smirked at me and then shook my hand. “So this is the woman I had heard about non stop about from my beautiful fiancé” He joked as he pulled Alice into his side. She wrapped her arms around his waist, squeezing she smiled at me. “I hope it was all good.” I inquired. “Of course, but you need to watch out for her match…..” He let out a loud “Umph” as Alice stopped his sentence with an elbow to the gut. I looked curiously at the both of them while Jasper rubbed his now sore stomach. “We‟re here to have lunch. Can you join us?” She asked, completely overlooking the brutal way that she had just attacked. “I‟m sorry, Love. I have to drive out to Talbott‟s Vineyard in the Valley and pick up some wine for a party tonight.” Alice‟s bottom lip jutted out in a perfect pout. I‟m sure that if I tried to do that I would just look silly, however, on her it worked. Jaspers eyes filled with regret as he pulled her close and kissed her forehead. “I promise we‟ll spend time together this evening.” He kissed her lips gently and I looked away, not wanting to intrude on the tenderness of the moment. “Samantha, please make sure that my fiancé and her friend are taken care of.” He said as he bent down and whispered in Alice‟s ear before walking towards the door. “It was nice to meet you Bella.” He called over his shoulder. “You, too.” I waved as he exited through the front doors. Alice linked her arm through mine and turned towards

the hostess. “We‟d like a table by the window please.” Alice told the hostess as she led us to a small table overlooking the bay. The sun played off of the waves and kelp beds that were directly below us and I spotted a mother and baby otter floating in the kelp. I pointed it out to Alice as she glanced down to see what I pointed at and then back at her menu. I hope I never get to the point where the wonder of the ocean stops captivating me. “They‟re cute, aren‟t they?” She said absently as she folded up her menu and set it on the table. “It‟s amazing being able to watch them in their own habitat. Do you see the baby?” I asked as she glanced back down and nodded her head with a small smile. “He‟s probably about eight to ten weeks old. Watch closely. She‟s teaching him to dive. Usually their first attempts have little nutritional value. They tend to go for the bright objects like starfish and small pebbles.” Alice giggled and cooed as the mother otter pulled her pup onto her stomach and proceeded to groom it carefully. “It‟s a lot more interesting watching them when I have someone telling me what they are doing.” She admitted as our waiter came to take our orders and then walked away to get our drinks. “So, what‟d you think of my brother?” I almost choked on the ice cube I sucked in at her question. “He seems like a nice guy.” I answered as Alice rolled her eyes at me and smiled. “That‟s not what I meant and you know it. Would you ever consider going out on a date with him?” She got to the point pretty quickly and I had to admire the way she didn‟t beat around the bush. “Um…..I don‟t know.” She gave me a look that told me she wouldn‟t let up until I had answered her question. I sighed and fidgeted with my dinner roll. “He‟s a good looking man, he has a permanent job and he‟s great with kids. What woman wouldn‟t want to go out with him?” I admitted before stuffing a piece of bread in my mouth. Alice smiled widely but left the subject alone. “So what are you doing tonight?” “I need to pick up Seth at pitching practice, but that‟s about it” “How about we go out to dinner, just us adults? There‟s a great restaurant on Fisherman‟s Wharf that has the best clam chowder. Then there‟s this little place on Alvarado that will make you die and go to heaven when you see the desserts.” “I don‟t know, Alice. I…” She cut me off mid sentence. “Seth can come over and stay at our house and I‟ll get the babysitter. Do you mind if I invite Edward and Emmett?” My mind started racing with the idea that I would see Edward. I bit my lip in contemplation. “Alright, but I can‟t stay out late. I still have work in the morning.” Alice‟s excitement level went to ten on the Richter scale as she bounced happily through the rest of our lunch. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The rest of the work day flew by and I found myself getting slightly nervous as I pulled into the parking lot to the baseball field. I sat there for a few minutes and watched as Edward stood over Seth, showing him something

before Seth pulled his arm back and launched a ball that flew too high over Tony‟s head for him to catch. Anthony jumped up from his squatting position to chase the ball. I got slowly out of my car and headed in their direction, Seth was nodding his head at whatever Edward was telling him as I walked up unnoticed by either of them. “Hey, how did practice go?” I asked as I startled Edward and he jumped, turning around to face me. “Sorry.” I muttered as his surprised eyes caught mine. He shook his hair and ran his fingers through it. “No, no. That‟s okay.” He smiled at me and then looked over at Seth. “What do you think Seth? How did it go?” Seth bowed his head and I saw a bit of defeat in his eyes before he looked at the ground. “I suck.” He said quietly. I wanted to hug him to me and tell him how sorry I was that he was cursed with my coordination. I stepped forward but Edward held up a hand to stop me. “That‟s not true Seth. You‟ve got amazing power behind your pitches, we just need to get you to slow down a bit and focus on accuracy.” Seth‟s eyes traveled up Edward and I saw a glint of a tear at the corner. My heart broke and my first reaction was to yank him out of baseball so he wouldn‟t have to be subjected to the disappointment. “But I‟ll never be as good as Tony.” Seth‟s bottom lip quivered and I looked quickly at Edward to see if I needed to step in. He raised a hand and gently laid it on Seth‟s small shoulder. “Anthony has been playing for three years and has been practicing to be a pitcher for two so you can‟t compare yourself to him. You are doing great and I have no doubt that you‟ll be an amazing pitcher.” I watched Edward closely as he reassured my son and at that moment I felt what Seth was missing. If it was up to me I would shelter him from every hurt and lock him in a bubble to keep him safe, that‟s just my natural mommy instinct. However, he needed a strong male role model to guide him through his self doubt and reassure his efforts. “Do you really think I can be as good as Tony some day?” Seth asked with a shred of hope. Edward nodded slowly. “Yep. You have to remember that this is the first day. It‟s going to take time but you‟ll get it soon.” Seth smiled widely as he beamed at the praise that Edward gave him. “Now, hurry up and go help Anthony pick up the balls.” He said as he gave Seth a slight push towards where Tony was picking up balls and throwing them in a bucket. I watched him run away and then turned back to Edward. He was grinning at me and I all of a sudden felt self conscious, like I had a piece of spinach stuck in my teeth. “I don‟t think you know what you‟re getting yourself into.” He said with a smirk. What? I gave him an inquisitive look. “It‟s extremely stressful to watch your child on the mound pitching. You can‟t run to his defense and there‟ll be times that he‟ll have to stick it out even when he‟s having a bad run. Let me teach him and don‟t get all mother bear on me.” He laughed at the shocked look on my face. “I saw the way you wanted to coddle him when he was upset. Sometimes they need to buck up and get over it.” He gave me a lopsided grin and my heart beat a little harder in my chest. “I just don‟t like to see him so upset.” I said sheepishly as I turned to watch the boys picking up balls. I tried to avoid his gaze.

“He has to get used to the pressure and so do you. Are you ready for it?” I shook my head and he chuckled causing me to smile. “No. I don‟t think I‟ll ever be ready for it but I promise not to go all „mother bear‟ on you.” I said as I made air quotes and smiled at him. I heard a squeal out on the field and turned to find Seth and Anthony rolling around in the grass. Edward barked out a laugh and called them over. “Time to go boys!” “Awww dad! I want to hang out with Seth some more.” Anthony whined. “Well, that‟s a good thing because he‟s coming over in about an hour.” Edward said as Anthony and Seth looked at me to confirm this news. When I nodded they started jumping up and down in their excitement. Seth grabbed my hand and started dragging me to the car. “See ya in a little bit.” Seth yelled over his shoulder as he continued to pull me along. I turned just enough to catch a glimpse of Edward laughing at my son's enthusiasm. We hurried home and I cringed as I pulled my shirt over my head and realized that I smelled like squid. I jumped in the shower and scrubbed three times trying to drown the smell with freesia body wash. I stood in front of my closet in a towel and pulled item after item out and then threw it on my bed. Why don‟t I have anything nice? I finally settled for a pair of black slacks and a deep blue sweater and black boots. I quickly got dressed and started fixing my hair and redid my make-up. Seth kept coming in to the bathroom to check if I was finished. I chuckled at his impatience. I walked into the living room where my impatient child was sitting on the couch waiting for me. “It‟s about time.” He said as he ran to the door and held it open for me. Seth and I pulled up to the address Alice had given me and I sat in the car with my mouth agape. His home was beautiful and the proximity to the beach was incredible. I had a moment where I felt like I didn‟t belong here and then Seth‟s voice broke me out of my revere. “Let‟s go mom.” He said as he slammed the door and ran up the stairs. I reached the door just as Tony threw it open and waved Seth in. They both took off around the corner and I walked in the entryway. Directly in front of the door was a Kinkade painting of one of the Carmel cottages. I moved closer to get a better look and realized that it wasn‟t a print but an actual painting. The price of that painting would probably wipe out my entire salary for a year. I shook my head and realized I had left the door open. I closed it softly and when I turned back around Edward was leaning against the wall with the Kinkade. “Hi……um…..Tony answered the door but then took off.” He smiled reassuringly at me. “I know, I caught a flash of dark hair as they ran to his room. Alice should be back with the babysitter in a minute and then we can go. Do you want something to drink?” “Yeah, that would be nice.” He motioned for me to follow him into the kitchen and I had to pick my jaw up off of the floor again. The crisp white kitchen was beautiful and I felt a pang of jealousy when I thought of my small kitchen. The things I could cook in here. I thought as I ran my hand over the granite counter top. “This is an amazing kitchen.” I told him as he handed me a glass of chardonnay.

“Tanya” he paused and I pulled my eyes away from the appliances to just catch a glimpse of pain before his features were neutral. “My wife, liked to cook.” I nodded my head, unsure if I should change the subject or not. “Do you like to cook?” He asked me as he drained the glass he had been holding. “I do. I considered becoming a chef before I found my love of the ocean.” He smiled gently at me and I couldn‟t help but feel the note of sadness in his voice when he spoke. “It hasn‟t been used much over the last few years. Alice occasionally gets some new recipe from Jasper that she has to try out but I‟m not much of a cook.” He admitted and I nodded at his confession. “My ex husband wasn‟t much of a cook either. I think that happens when men are so well taken care of by their wives.” Edward smiled at me and I noticed that it reached his eyes. I heard the front door open and Alice danced in the kitchen with a small blond girl about sixteen years old following closely behind her. “Bella, this is Tiffany. She‟s our usual babysitter and is great with kids.” I nodded my greeting and then Tiffany‟s full attention turned to Edward. Alice ran out muttering something about finishing getting ready. “Hello Dr. Cullen.” Tiffany whispered in a shy but inviting voice. I brought my glass up to my lips to hide the smile that threatened to burst forth. “Good evening Tiffany. The boys may get rambunctious tonight but please keep them in line. Liz is thrilled that you were coming over. She said something about a make over.” Tiffany lowered her lashes and looked up at him with pure admiration. I turned around quickly to hide my now prominent smile and walked to the sink, setting my glass down on the counter. “I love your children, Dr. Cullen.” I turned from the sink in time to see Edward shift in his spot. He was very aware of her flirting. “Uh……well…..Liz is waiting for you in her room.” He finally said trying to steer her in a different direction. She pouted slightly but then turned and went down the hall. I stood there smiling, enjoying watching him squirm. His eyes met mine and he looked embarrassed, there was a slight pink tint to his cheeks and he quickly ran his hand through his already messy hair. “So, Dr. Cullen.” I said in a seductive voice as I walked closer to him. The surprise in his eyes was ten times greater than it was a moment ago when he was assaulted by teenage lust. “What exactly was that?” I asked as I stifled a giggle at his bemused expression. He looked at me and then I saw the light bulb go on in his head. “You are honestly going to tease me about that?” He asked a sly grin upon his handsome face. “Yep.” “Well Ms. Black….” He stalked towards me closing the gap between us. When he was inches away from me he touched my face and brought it up so he was looking deeply into my eyes. I held my breath as I felt the warm moist air from his lips blow across my cheek. “Don‟t be surprised when I tease back.” He released my face and stepped back quickly. He chuckled softly and I had to shake my head to clear the dazzling haze that fogged up my brain. Edward jumped back another step when Alice came into the kitchen. “Are we ready to go?” She asked with a brow quirked in question at her brother. He looked like a boy that got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He raked his fingers through his hair and then nodded. Alice looked from

him to me and then back again before a wide smile arranged itself across her face. “Jazz and I are going in the Porsche so why don‟t you guys ride together. We‟ll meet you at the restaurant after I pick him up.” Edward nodded but wouldn‟t look directly at me. I wondered if maybe he thought we had gone too far in our flirting. “I want to say goodbye to Seth before we go.” I muttered as I walked past Alice and Edward. I felt Edward walking closely behind me when I realized I didn‟t know what direction to go. I stopped in the middle of the hall waiting for him to tell me where the boys were. “Third door on the right.” He whispered and I felt a small chill run down my spine at his close proximity. I knocked lightly before opening the door. Anthony‟s room was decked out with baseball memorabilia. Large framed pictures of old baseball players and a vintage picture of Yankee stadium hung on his wall along with a shelf full of trophies and encased baseballs. “Mom.” Seth said in awe. “Isn‟t his room cool? I want a baseball room too.” “We‟ll talk about it later. We‟re leaving and I wanted to say goodbye.” “Bye” Seth said, dismissing me like he could care less I was leaving. “Don‟t I get a hug, or something?” He looked at me and I put on my best hurt face. I could see the battle raging inside of him on whether or not to give me what I wanted even though it went against his yuck factor. “I still hug my mother.” Edward said in an off handed way. “There‟s nothing more gentlemanly than giving your mother the respect and love that she deserves.” I could almost see the wheels turning in Seth‟s mind as he slowly made his way over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I hugged him close and leaned down placing a kiss on the top of his head. “We‟ll be back in a couple of hours, okay?” “Sure, sure. Take your time.” Seth said as he turned and ran back to the game that he and Anthony were playing before we came in. “Bye kiddo.” Edward directed at Tony as we slipped out the door and walked back down the hall. As we passed a door on the opposite wall Edward flipped it open and said his goodbyes to Liz and Tiffany. “Ready?” He asked as he opened the door for me and we walked down a dark stairway to the garage. “Yep.” He motioned me towards a silver car and as I reached for the door handle his hand quickly shot out and pulled the door open. I frowned and growled slightly, turning to glare at him, he had a smug smile on his face. “I have a bone to pick with you.” I said slightly irritated at what he put me through over the last few days. He looked slightly confused. “Because of your little courtly lesson with my son the other night he hasn‟t let me open one door since then. In an off chance that I get to the door before he does he makes me close it so he can reopen it for me.” Edward barked out a laugh and then helped me into the car. “Good. The boy learns fast.” He chuckled as he climbed into the car. I growled at him again which only fueled his

laughter. “Maybe next time I should show him how to lay his coat across a puddle so your dainty feet don‟t get wet.” I knew he was teasing but Seth wouldn‟t. “Don‟t you dare,” I said and we both laughed as he pulled out of the driveway.

~*~ Paradiso is a restaurant owned and operated by a Celebrity Chef John Pisto.

~*~

Chapter 9 Fisherman’s Wharf and Rosine’s Edward Cullen We drove to the wharf in a comfortable silence. My mind racing back to the events that had happened in the short time we had been together today. I can‟t believe I was so forward with her at the house. Tiffany has been a big flirt for the last year but she was harmless. Besides, she was great with the kids and Elizabeth adored her. I usually just ignored her batting eyelashes and occasional comments but tonight I suddenly felt like I should have taken care of this problem sooner. I was more worried at what Bella would think than what Tiffany actually said. I turned and caught Bella looking my way and then she quickly turned and looked out the window. I stared at her profile for a moment and was struck with her original beauty. She wasn‟t like the fake women that I see all the time running around Carmel. She was real and had that girl next door charm. Innocent…..yet not. I‟m sure that she‟s seen more heartache than the average woman her age with her divorce and raising a son by herself. Seth. I had only been around him a few times but I could tell that he was a great kid. He brought out the adventurer in Tony and for that I think I would probably like him if he was a snot. However he wasn‟t, he had a kind heart and a sense of justice that made him into a little vigilante. I was going to have to watch him around the Newton kid. I couldn‟t be angry at him for sticking up for Tony, he was being a friend and I think it was probably the first time that anyone has done that for my son. It amazed me at how quickly they had become friends. “What are you thinking about?” I heard Bella whisper, her eyes fixed on my face. I glanced over at her and smiled. “Our boys.” I said simply as she sighed deeply. “Seth has a pretty bad case of hero worship.” Bella stated with a giggle. I smiled, knowing that she was referring to me. He was so eager to please and take in anything I had to say. If only my own kids were so eager. I chuckled. “He really is a great kid.” Bella rolled her eyes. “Sure, he‟d be higher on my scale of perfectness if he‟d stop bringing reptiles in the house.” She said with a little shudder. “This morning I was assaulted by the biggest frog I had ever seen.” We laughed together as I pulled into the parking area to the wharf. I jumped out of the car and ran around to get her door before she had it completely open. I offered her my hand and she took it with a small smile.

“I‟m still not letting you off the hook for the chivalry lesson.” She said with a teasing smile. I smiled back at her, noticing her perfectly dazzling smile. Her warm hand in mine felt nice as I pulled her up and out of the passenger seat. I released her hand when she was fully upright and felt that tingling feeling in my fingertips at the loss of contact. I rubbed my palm with my thumb and brushed against my wedding ring. A stab of guilt shot through my heart. What am I doing? The question hung over my head as we walked in silence to the wharf. We came to the first building and Bella walked over to look into the display window. I heard her suck in a breath and point to a large glass blown set of dolphins. “I had those exact dolphins given to me by my father for my graduation.” “Had?” “Another critter experience.” She laughed lightly, but I could hear a slight sadness in her voice as she spoke. “When we were packing to move down here, Seth‟s frog got out and in the process of trying to catch him he knocked them over and they broke into a million pieces.” Bella shrugged it off causally, but I could tell that it bothered her. We walked down the wharf and chatted a bit about her first day at work. Her excitement level rose as she spoke reverently about the white shark they had acquired from San Diego. When we reached the Old Fisherman‟s Grotto, there was a teenager handing out samples of clam chowder. Bella took hers with a thank you and tasted it tentatively. I was enthralled with the little pink tongue that darted out of her mouth to lick her lips. I shook my head, trying to get the image out of my mind. “Wow. That has to be the best chowder I‟ve ever tasted.” I nodded my head, still trying not to focus on her mouth again. “I guess I know what you‟ll be ordering for a starter.” I teased as I looked down onto her radiant face. “We‟re eating here?” I nodded my head as I opened the door for her to enter. When we came in I immediately spotted Emmett sitting at the bar with Rose. “Emmett‟s over here.” I said as I tugged her along. “Hey Em. Rose.” I said getting there attention as I leaned down and placed a kiss on Rose‟s cheek. Emmett turned around with a big dimpled grin that widened even more when he spotted Bella. “Bella!” He bellowed, making me wince at his loud greeting. Emmett never was one to control the volume. “I didn‟t know that you‟d be here.” He grinned widely and looked at me, giving me a wink. I rolled my eyes knowing exactly what was going on in his head. “Bella, this is Rosalie, Emmett‟s wife.” Rose had the same big smile on her face that Emmett had as she took Bella‟s hand. “It‟s lovely to meet you Bella.” She smiled and I hoped that she and Emmett would behave. “Our table should be ready in a few minutes.” Emmett offered and then turned his attention to Bella. “So Bella, what made you agree to go out on a date with this schmuck?” Emmett asked with the signature Cullen grin. I felt a little uneasy at his line of questioning. Did she think this was a date? Was it? I groaned inwardly, not sure if I should correct him, but not wanting to embarrass her. I hate this indecision.

“Actually, Alice invited me, but she had to go pick up Jasper so I rode with Edward.” Rose reached over and smacked Emmett upside the head earning a laugh out of Bella and me which eased some of the tension in the air. “Cullen table for six” A petite redhead called into the bar. “That‟s us.” Emmett said as he downed the rest of his drink and offered his arm to Rose. She smiled up at him as she wrapped her arm around his. I had never seen Emmett so content as when he was with Rose. They had a complicated relationship that I didn‟t fully understand but there constant bickering was expected and it never went further than the surface. He adored her and no matter what airs she put on in front of everyone, the feeling was mutual. Alice and Jasper showed up just as we arrived at our table. Jasper, Emmett and I all held out the chairs for our dates. Was that what this is? I‟d have to talk to Alice later and find out exactly what she said to Bella to get her to come along. When we were all seated and looking over our menus I noticed that Bella hadn‟t picked up her menu. I leaned over and whispered in her ear. “Do you need help picking something to eat?” I asked, trying to be helpful. “No. I fell in love with the clam chowder and noticed that they had the Sourdough bread bowls and chowder so that‟s what I‟m going to have.” “Would you like some Calamari? It‟s fantastic.” She wrinkled up her nose and shook her head almost violently. “No, you go ahead. I‟ve had enough of squid for one day.” I gave her a quizzical look. “I had to feed the penguins today and ended up with more on myself than in the tank.” She shuddered and I chuckled lightly. I looked up and found four pairs of eyes watching us closely. I shook my head at Emmett when he looked like he was going to say whatever was on his mind. He clamped his mouth shut and looked back at his menu. “Bella?” She looked up at my sister-in-law. “Alice said you just moved here. What brought you to the Peninsula?” I was thankful that Rose seemed to have taken a liking to Bella. It was always hit and miss with her, especially if she viewed this as a date. Rose had been the one to introduce Tanya to me just after her and Emmett got married. Tanya‟s death had affected everyone in my family but no one more so than Rose. She never blamed me for the accident but I immediately felt her pull away from me and the kids. She was always friendly but there was something that was different between us. Almost as if Tanya was the glue that held us all together. I listened half heartedly as Bella talked about her move and her new job. “So, you have a little boy Anthony‟s age?” Rose asked with a glimmer in her eye. I knew that Rose had always wanted to give Emmett a boy but it just wasn‟t in the cards. “Yes. He‟s a ball of energy.” Bella smiled at something she was remembering, probably the critter incident from this morning. I found myself smiling with her. “But, he‟s a great kid.” I added, reaching for my water glass. I felt Bella turn towards me and I knew that she was smiling. I brought the water glass to my lips and chanced a glance at her. She quickly looked away a slight blush

tinting her cheeks. Rose let out a large sigh. “We have girls. Don‟t get me wrong. I love my girls. It‟s just that we wanted a boy too.” She smiled at Emmett and he shrugged his shoulders lightly. “Girls, boys, it don‟t matter to me. I‟ve got my nephew when I need some boy bonding time.” Emmett said as he squeezed his wife‟s hand. “Emmett can only shoot little pink girl bullets.” Alice told Bella with a giggle. We all chuckled at her reference to the male being the one to determine the sex of a child. Dinner came and we enjoyed the meal and conversation. Bella hit it off with Rose and the girls were currently discussing the Good Old Days coming up in a few weeks in Pacific Grove. Emmett leaned towards me and looked over to make sure that Bella was preoccupied. He nodded his head for me to come closer. “She‟s hot, bro. What are you waiting for?” I reached over and smacked Emmett upside the head before sitting back in my seat. He chuckled but then motioned me back. I glared at him warning him to behave before I checked to see if the girls had noticed our exchange. Alice‟s smile looked a little wider than it did a moment ago but they were still engrossed in their conversation. “Seriously, she‟s a nice girl.” I nodded my head in agreement. “Ask her out.” He pushed and I shrugged my shoulders hoping to end any further encouragement. “What do you think, Edward?” My head snapped to Rose and I gave her a confused stare. “I‟m sorry I didn‟t catch what you were talking about.” I asked as Alice sat bouncing in her seat. “The Good Old Days. We were talking about going. Do you know if there is a game that day?” “Yeah, it‟s a Saturday so we have a game but I think it‟s in the morning. We‟d miss the parade but there‟s still a lot to do.” Alice squealed so Jasper wrapped his arm around her giving me an apologetic look. We spent the remainder of dinner talking together about anything and everything. I couldn‟t help but notice how easily Bella fit in our little group. She laughed easily with Rose and teased Emmett just as much as he did her. She didn‟t seem to mind Alice‟s raging energy and she even found something in common with Jasper, who had a harder time getting to know people. Then there was me. I liked her. She was different from Tanya but I could also see the similarities. She had a passion for things that she cared about and she was charming and genuine. “Would anyone like dessert?” The waiter asked as he cleared off our finished plates. Emmett reached for the desert menu when Alice chimed up and answered for everyone. “No, just the checks please.” Emmett looked at her like he was going to tear her apart. Jasper instinctively pulled Alice closer to him. “What the hell, Ally!” Emmett whined. “They have the best cheesecake on the Peninsula.” Alice shook her head at him like he was a small child that needed correcting. “Because, we‟re going to Rosine‟s.” Emmett snapped the dessert menu shut and a big grin lit up his face. “Well why didn‟t you say so?” He said as he rubbed his hands together like he had just won the lottery.

“Who‟s Rosine?” I heard Bella ask Alice and I smiled at the opportunity that we would have to introduce Bella to Dessert Heaven, as Alice liked to call it. I braced myself and just as I predicted Alice squealed causing Emmet and Jasper to stick there finger in their ear and itched at the high pitched noise that rattled their eardrum. “It‟s only the best place to get dessert ever!” She started bouncing in her seat and Bella looked at me with a raised eyebrow for me to explain. “Rosine‟s has a wide array of deserts but they are known for their portion size.” She nodded as the waiter came by with the checks. He handed one to Jasper, Emmett and then myself. Bella looked over my shoulder as she grabbed her purse. I slipped my credit card in the holder and quickly handed it to the waiter before he could leave. “My treat.” I said to her as she reached for her wallet. I saw a flash anger cross her eyes and wondered if it might be better to let her have her feminist moment. She pulled out some cash and set it in front of me. I pushed it back in front of her and I watched her jaw clench in agitation. She was a fiery little thing and I wondered how far I could push her before she erupted. The money sat on the table between us and I wondered if she was going to give in and let me win or what her next move would be. Alice was droning on about her favorite desert and how it was always too much for her to finish, completely oblivious to the power struggle going on across from her. I looked over at Bella and she had a small smile on her face. Could it have been that easy? Our waiter returned with the checks and we all stood up to leave. I watched as Bella picked up the cash off the table and I felt a small sense of victory as I turned to head for the door. My family was already outside waiting for us when I felt Bella‟s hand on my arm. I turned to see what she needed and noticed a wicked grin on her face. I looked at her questioningly as I felt her hand on my hip. A small jolt of electricity raced through my groin and I froze at the stir of emotion I hadn‟t felt in a long time. I looked down at her hand as it moved from my hip to slip into the pocket of my pants. I gulped down the lump that had formed in my throat as she pushed her hand deeper in and then quickly pulled it out and patted the pocket. I looked at her and I‟m sure she saw the stunned look in my eyes. “This isn‟t a date so I‟m paying for my dinner. If you want to pay, you‟ll need to ask me out again.” I stared dumbfounded as she walked out the door, giving me a small smirk as she looked over her shoulder. I shook my head trying to clear the slight buzz that sounded in my head from the moment she touched me. I reached in to my pocket and pulled at the money for her dinner. Score one for Bella. I thought with a chuckle as I shoved the cash back into my pocket. “We‟re going to go see the sea lions.” Alice bounced happily and then took off down the wharf with Jasper‟s hand securely in her own. As we walked Bella would occasionally look over at me with a smug smile on her face. “Bella, come see!” Alice squealed from the end of the pier. Bella and I looked over the railing to the docks below and there were about twenty huge sea lions piled on top of each other. The combined weight of the obese animals was sinking the dock. As we watched the slumbering sea lions there was a splash just to the right where we were watching. I heard Bella suck in a breath and I looked towards the splash. A few seconds later a graceful bottlenose dolphin leaped out of the water. “They don‟t normally come in this close. It‟s dangerous for them to be in the harbor.” Bella whispered to herself but I caught every word. “Will they be okay?” I asked, wondering if we needed to do something. Bella nodded her head.

“They‟re extremely smart. Some think that their intelligence rivals our own.” Alice let out another squeal when it jumped out of the water again. It was almost like it was giving us our own little show. Moments later another dolphin made its appearance known. “Did you know that dolphins have been reported to have saved humans from shark attacks?” Bella asked as I nodded my head remembering the story of a local surfer that was friends with one of our X-ray technicians at the hospital. “Todd Endris.” I said quietly. Bella looked at me slightly confused by my comment. “Todd Endris is a surfer here on the Peninsula that was attacked by a seventeen foot Great White. He said that a pod of dolphins protected him from the shark returning. He‟s friends with someone I know at the hospital.” Bella looked slightly shocked. “Really?” She said with awe in her voice, I nodded my head at her disbelief. “I knew that there were reports of them protecting humans but I didn‟t know that they literally saved someone who was actually being attacked.” A small shudder ripped through her tiny frame as I‟m sure she was envisioning the brutality of the scene. We stayed and watched the dolphins playing in the moonlight until they moved on to deeper waters. Bella and I were in deep conversation over dolphin safe tuna and how the Aquarium was helping in the effort to educated consumers when Emmett interrupted. “Hate to rain on your environmentalist party but I‟m dying for a piece of Peanut Butter Cream Cake.” Rose slipped her hand in his and they briskly walked back to the parking lot. “What‟s Peanut Butter Cream Cake?” Bella asked in a whisper as if she were afraid to be overheard by Emmett. She learned fast, Em would probably rake her over the coals for not knowing what his favorite cake was. “It‟s chocolate cake, with chocolate and peanut butter frosting with halved peanut butter cups on top.” “Ooooooo. That sounds good.” She said as I shrugged my shoulders. “I prefer the pie.” I said casually as we walked quickly back to the car. It only took us a few minutes to arrive at the restaurant. I was surprised when Bella didn‟t rush to open her door and actually let me open it for her. I held out my hand to help her out and she smiled radiantly at me. “So, you‟ve decided to let me treat you like a lady?” I asked in a teasing tone. “Actually, I‟ve decided to give in and embrace the chivalry since you gave in earlier.” The reminder of her hand in my pocket flashed through my mind and I stuffed it down in the far depths of my memory, not wanting to turn into a bumbling idiot again. We walked into Rosine‟s and Bella stood at the desert display with a slack jaw. I chuckled and let her gaze over the heavenly display and then nudged her towards the table that currently held our party. “So Bella. Did you see anything you liked?” Alice asked. Bella nodded and the waitress came by to get our order. Emmett ordered his favorite, which he would share with Rose while Jasper and Alice ordered a slice of cheesecake to share. The waitress came to Bella and nodded for her to order. “I‟d like the Apple pie à la mode.” Alice and Rose stopped chatting and stared at Bella while I shook my head at

another coincidence. “What?” Bella asked when everyone was looking at her. I leaned down and whispered quietly in her ear. “That‟s what I usually order.” I said quietly. She smiled widely and then gave me a wink. “Great minds think alike.” She said with a smirk. “Bella, you might want to share that with Edward. It‟s huge.” Rose suggested as I looked over at her for her reaction. “Sure, that‟ll be great. I‟m still stuffed from all that Sourdough.” I grinned as a thought came to my mind. “Fine by me, but I‟m paying.” I said with more force than I had meant. Thankfully, she giggled and smiled up at me. “I‟ll let you get this one.” She conceded. What could have been another awkward moment was actually quite pleasant as we shared the pie and ice cream. She seemed to not care for the crust and left it for me which was my favorite part, so it worked out perfectly. We said goodbye to my siblings and their significant others and headed back to my home where Bella could pick up Seth. I all of a sudden felt nervous and started second guessing the decision that I had made earlier when Emmett pulled me aside at dinner. My hands began to sweat as I gripped the steering wheel tightly. “That was a lot of fun tonight.” Bella broke the silence and I nodded, afraid that if I spoke I would give away how anxious I was feeling. “Thank you for dessert. I think that was the best apple pie I‟ve ever had.” “I‟d have to agree with you on that.” I said as some of my anxiety eased when she started speaking. The silence set in again and I knew that if I didn‟t ask now I would chicken out. “Um……Bella?” “Yes?” “I really did have a great time with you tonight.” I said somewhat shyly. “Me too.” She said quietly. I caught her smiling before she turned towards the window. “Uh……?” I said in a rush, feeling like a nerdy sixteen year old asking the head cheerleader to the prom. “Excuse me, can you repeat that?” “Would you like to go out with me again sometime?” She paused for a long time and I considered letting her off the hook and retracting my invitation when she finally spoke. “That would be nice.” She whispered and I heard a hint of embarrassment in her voice. I wondered if she was tinged with the lovely blush I had seen earlier. “How about Friday?” I asked knowing that if I left it there I probably wouldn‟t get to the point of actually securing a date.

“Yeah,” She said shyly. “That sounds fine.” Bella amazed me at how she could go from confident, strong, professional woman to timid and uncertain girl in a matter of moments. I fought the urge to grin like a fool but unfortunately the grin won.

~*~

Chapter 10 First Official Date Bella Swan-Black Edward carried a sleeping Seth out to my car when we arrived back at his house. He asked if I wouldn‟t mind taking Tiffany home and I couldn‟t resist the urge to tease him one last time. “Are you slightly afraid of the babysitter?” I asked quirking my brow and trying not to crack a grin. He rolled his eyes but I saw the small smile threatening to reveal itself. “She‟d eat me alive and spit out the bones.” He said as his smile broke through. I laughed lightly and told him I wouldn‟t mind driving her home. I felt a small pang of loss when we said our goodbyes, not wanting the evening to end even though at times it was awkward. I hid my smile when Tiffany gushed over how much she enjoyed babysitting for him as he held the door open for her. Always the gentleman. When he closed the door, Tiffany let out a loud contented sigh. She looked over at me in embarrassment at her obvious crushing moment and I let out a little chuckle. “I know. He does it to me too.” I said to her as we had a good chuckle at his dazzling effect. I dropped Tiffany off in front of her home and waited until she was safely inside before pulling away. For the rest of the drive home I thought about the events of the evening and everything that had transpired. I surprised myself with being a bit more forward than I had ever been before. Maybe that comes with age. It was hard to gauge what Edward was thinking because he was always such a gentleman. So when he asked me on a date, to say I was surprised would have been an understatement. The thought of being alone with him and getting to know him more intimately sent my heart into a flutter. Calm down Bella, it‟s just a date. A date. I hadn‟t been on a date in…well…never. Jake had just kind of happened; we never had the formality of a date. I got home and pulled my sleeping child out of the backseat and stumbled into the house. After I got him into bed I sat down on the floor in front of him and wondered how this would affect him. Would he be okay with me seeing his best friend‟s father? Would he be jealous? I buried my face in my hands. Maybe I need to cancel. I went back and forth on my decision for awhile, while I sat and watched my sweet boy sleeping. If I was being honest with myself, I knew that I wanted to see Edward again and without anymore distractions. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The next day flew by and before I knew it I was pulling in the parking lot to pick up Seth from baseball practice. I

had butterflies in my stomach when I climbed out of the car and scanned the field, spotting his bronze hair ruffle in the breeze as he spoke to one of the parents. As I came closer I saw that he was talking to Mike, and he was not happy. “I don‟t care, Cullen! James has been in the league as long as your son and he deserves to be starting pitcher!” Edward shook his head and lowered his voice, trying to reason with him. I decided it was probably best to stay as far away from that conversation as possible so I took a seat on the bleachers and waited for practice to be over. “Nepotism! That‟s what this is. I‟m going to take this up with the League.” Mike accused, his face turning red with his anger. Emmett, who had slowly been making his way over to the argument made himself known. “You go right ahead. They‟ll tell you the same thing. Anthony is the best pitcher in the Mustang division. Hell, he‟s the best pitcher in the Bronco division too!” Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and laid a hand on Emmett‟s arm, trying to get him to lower his voice and also keeping him from launching himself at Mike. Mike was obviously intimidated by Emmett‟s stature so he clamped his mouth shut for a moment, letting the tension ease somewhat before he spoke again. “I‟m just saying he better get a chance.” Mike stammered. “Of course he‟ll get a chance to pitch. Right now he‟s second up, but he needs to work on his accuracy before he‟s ready for the first game in a week, he‟s well ahead of Seth, so he‟s up to pitch on the first game.” Edward said trying to diffuse the situation. Mike nodded thoughtfully as Edward clapped Emmett on the back and sent him back out to the boys. I shifted my eyes back to the field and noticed that most of the boys had stopped to watch the show. Emmett barked out orders as the kids scurried back into their previous positions. I searched for Seth and saw him in left field in full catchers gear catching balls for Tony. I felt a small sense of relief that none of the boys were close enough to hear that last observation. I looked back over at Edward and Mike and they still weren‟t finished with their argument because Edward pointed a finger at Mike‟s chest emphasizing what he wanted to say. I strained my ears and caught the tail end of their conversation. “I‟ll bench him if I see that kind of display again. It‟s just bad sportsmanship.” Edward said with authority and I wondered what had happened today. Mike looked like he wanted to rip Edward apart, but instead he gave a curt nod and walked away. Edward sighed and then turned around. He noticed me staring at him and a crooked grin crossed his face. I smiled back in greeting as he came over to me. “Hi.” He said as he ran his fingers through his hair making it stick up in an odd angle. I smiled wider. “Hey. Tough day?” I asked as I glanced over at Mike sulking on the other end of the bleachers. He looked over his shoulder and had a frown on his face when he turned back to me. “Yeah, you can say that.” He said quietly with a nervous edge to his voice. “Can you stay after practice for a minute?” He asked quietly. “I need to talk to you about this Saturday‟s Opening Day and……um…..something that happened earlier.” I groaned internally. I should have known that Seth had something to do with whatever was going on with Mike. I nodded and he must have noticed my dread because he gave me a reassuring smile. “Great.” He smiled. “I have to get back out to the kids.” He turned and jogged back onto the field leaving me to

fear the worst. After the team huddled up for their final instructions and pep talk from both Edward and Emmett they had a team cheer and then the kids grabbed their gear and dispersed. Edward pointed to the bats and balls and put Seth and Tony to work before coming over to sit by me on the bleachers. Edward sat there trying to collect his thought but I couldn‟t handle the suspense any longer. “Just spit it out. I‟m sure it‟s not any worse than what I‟ve dealt with before.” Edward looked confused for a moment before what I said sunk in. “You think Seth did something wrong?” He asked incredulously. “Didn‟t he?” Edward laughed, which eased some of my fears. “Amazingly, no.” He shook his head. “I‟ve seen kids freak out for smaller offenses. No, he handled himself perfectly.” I‟m sure I still had a confused look because he delved right in to the incident. “From what I gathered from Tony and a couple of other boys after the incident there was an argument with James and Seth at the beginning of practice.” He let out a long sigh before he continued. “I put the boys up to bat and had James pitching to give him more practice. Well, he was bragging earlier to a few of the boys that he was going to make him hit the dirt.” I gave him a quizzical look. “Hit the dirt means that he was going to throw a wild pitch and at the least it would scare Seth and at the worst hit him with the ball.” I gasped and looked at Seth picking up balls, looking for any damage. Even though these kids were young they still threw hard. When I didn‟t see any outward damage I turned back to Edward. “I would have pulled him if I would have known.” He looked apologetic and I smiled weakly for him to continue. “Anyway, he hit him with a fast ball.” I felt the anger grow deep inside my chest. I looked around and Mike and James had already left which was probably a good thing because I would have ripped them apart. “Where‟d he get hit?” I practically growled. “He‟s going to have a nasty bruise in the ribs for a few days. I don‟t think anything is broken but if he complains about having trouble breathing bring him to the hospital as soon as possible.” I nodded my head in understanding. “Seth was a champ. That hit would have brought a grown man to his knees but he sucked it up and didn‟t shed one tear.” That didn‟t make me feel better. “After I checked to make sure he was okay I pulled James aside and had a talk with him. I don‟t think we‟ll be seeing that kind of unsportsmanlike conduct again from him.” I wish I could be as confident, but I had seen the parents and their refusal to see that their child was instigating fights. When you coddle a child that is doing wrong it only fuels the desire to continue bullying. “Even after Seth found out it was intentional he didn‟t say a word. Most boys wouldn‟t have handled it with calm composure like he did.” Yeah, the calm before the storm. I know my child and there is no way that he‟s going to let this go unpunished. I‟m afraid James may have just started a war. I debated on whether or not to say anything but finally chose to have my own talk with Seth when we got home. “Bella?”

“I‟m sorry. I was just digesting what you said.” I said quietly and then smiled. “Are you okay?” He asked with a worried crease in his brow. I let out a long breath before answering. “Yeah. But, I can‟t guarantee I won‟t give the Newton‟s a piece of my mind.” He laughed and I gathered that he was slightly relieved that I didn‟t flip out. “Good. Now, this Saturday is Opening Day Ceremonies and we are in charge of the hot dogs for the carnival.” I nodded my understanding. “Alice is going to pick up all the supplies and Emmett and I are going to barbecue but I was wondering if you could help Alice set up and man the booth.” Another opportunity to be around him. I smiled and felt a little bit of my anger slip away. “Sure. I‟ll call her and see what she needs help with?” His smile widened as he hopped up from the bleachers. “Great. Um...” He looked a little nervous but then a wave of confidence over took him and he said what he was thinking. “I also wanted to tell you to wear something warm Friday night.” I glanced back up at him after I had stepped off of the bleachers and his cheeks were tinted pink. Could he get any more adorable? “Why?” I asked curious to what he had planned. “We‟re going to go to dinner but that‟s all I‟m going to tell you. Just wear something warm.” He had a sly smile and all I could do was nod my head since all thought left me the minute his dazzling smile was directed at me. “Mom! Look!” Seth said excitedly as he ran up and pulled up his shirt. On the left side of his chest there was a dark bruise starting to form under his skin. A small gasp escaped my lips and I knelt down, reaching out to touch him. My fingers feather light grazed over the bruise and he jerked away at my touch. Seth, sensing my rage immediately, tried to put my mind at ease. “It‟s okay, mom. I got a nickname now.” He said, extremely proud of himself. I pulled myself from the murderous thoughts I was having and tried to smile. “What‟s that, honey?” “Storm.” He said in awe as Emmett came up and ruffled his hair. “Why Storm?” I asked Emmett as he laughed heartily at Seth‟s enthusiasm. “Storm, as in Storm Trooper. He took that hit like a trooper.” Emmett said as he, Seth and Tony looked at me like it was some badge of honor to be sucker punched by a baseball. Boys! I shook my head in disbelief. I just don‟t get them sometimes. When Seth and I finally got home after stopping by the sports shop to get the rest of his uniform I decided I had better have a talk with him about what happened at practice. “Seth?” “Yeah mom?” “I know Coach talked to you about what happened but I need you to understand that I won‟t stand for you to get

back at James.” He looked sheepishly at the floor, a sure sign that he had plans. “I mean it. What James did was not right but I expect you not to stoop to his level. Okay?” He stared at the floor contemplating what I had said and I started rolling it over in my mind again making sure that I didn‟t leave any loop holes in my expectations. “Seth? Okay?” I prodded again when he didn‟t answer me. He begrudgingly answered me. “Fine.” He muttered before stomping off into his room. I hoped that was all I would hear of that but knowing him he‟ll find another way to accomplish his goals. The little turkey was too smart for his own good. He got his stubbornness from me. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The rest of the week flew by with no more incidents at practice and as the Friday work day came to a close I felt my anticipation build. Alice had already agreed to keep Seth overnight since she said that we wouldn‟t be back until late. She wouldn‟t give me the smallest hint as to what we‟d be doing this evening. However, she seemed to not have such a tight lip when it came to telling Angela because she reminded me to wear something warm as I left work too. “Come on Angela. Just a little clue?” I whined as she shook her head and then zipped her lip with her fingers. I huffed and stormed out the back door, Angela‟s tinkling laugh echoing through the empty hallway. I went straight home and jumped in the shower, mentally going through my closet as I washed my hair and scrubbed down with some freesia body wash that Seth had given to me for Christmas. I checked the clock and saw that I had a half an hour before Edward would arrive. I quickly pulled on my thickest pair of black pants and then stood staring into my closet once again. Why is this so nerve racking? Maybe I need to ask Alice for some fashion expertise. She always looked so nice. I looked at the clock and realized I only had twenty minutes left so I quickly put on a black turtleneck and gray sweater. I slipped on my black boots and glanced in the mirror, making sure nothing was hanging out in the wrong places. I had just finished blow drying my hair straight when I heard a knock at the front door. I glanced at my watch and wasn‟t surprised to see that he was exactly on time. I hurried to the door and had to grit my teeth to hold my mouth closed or I would have been picking my jaw up off the ground. He was stunning. I have this reaction every time I see him but for some reason tonight, he looked even more irresistible. “Hey.” He greeted casually and then smiled. “You look great.” I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. “Thanks, so do you.” I said and then invited him in. “I‟ll be ready in just a minute.” I said as I turned to head back into the bathroom. I felt a strong force hit me below the knees sending me spiraling towards the floor. One minute I was standing and the next minute I was flat on my back on the living room floor. Damn dog! I closed my eyes in embarrassment before I sat up, mortified at my clumsiness. What I didn‟t expect to see was Buddy happily licking Edward‟s face who happened to also be lying on the floor. He was laughing hysterically as he tried to shove him away. “Buddy, no.” I commanded in my alpha voice, which was something I learned from Jake. Buddy immediately pulled away and sat, wagging his tail happily. Edward was still chuckling as he propped himself on his elbows and looked over at me. When our eyes met we both started laughing uncontrollably.

“I tried…” He gasped for breath. “to catch you but he knocked me off balance.” He chuckled some more as he pointed at Buddy and then sucked in another large breath. I laughed so hard my side was starting to hurt. Buddy just sat there wagging his tail like he didn‟t have a care in the world. Edward got control of himself first and hopped up, offering his hand to me. His laugh was burned into my memory, it was masculine and warm. I wiped the tears away from my eyes and then let him pull me up. I turned carefully and went to grab my purse and jacket. When I returned, he was petting Buddy between the ears and was still chuckling occasionally. “I don‟t think I‟ve laughed that hard in years.” He said with a smile, but I felt a small ounce of sadness at hearing that confession. Seth had me in stitches on a daily basis. I can‟t imagine the sadness he and his children had experienced over the last few years. He held out his arm to me. “Are you ready?” I nodded as I slipped my arm through his. After we were on the road I decided to see if he would finally tell me where we were going. “So, are you going to fill me in on the plans for the evening?” Edward bit his bottom lip, thinking about my request. He finally shook his head. “Nope. I think I‟ll keep it a surprise.” “I hate surprises.” I grumbled and he looked at me with disappointment in his eyes. I immediately felt bad. “I‟m sorry, I didn‟t know.” He said softly. “If you really want to know, I‟ll tell you.” I realized at that moment I was being childish and needed to just accept that he wanted to make this night memorable so I needed to shut up, sit back and enjoy the ride. “No, no. I think I can handle it.” I said hoping that I fixed whatever screw up I just made. He looked over at me to see if I was telling the truth so I gave him my most brilliant smile, which he returned. “I hope you like Italiano.” “I do, very much.” I said as he let out a relieved breath. “I have to warn you that Nino is a big flirt and will probably try to get you to go with him in the back room.” He said with a laugh. “Well, I hope you‟d defend my honor.” I smirked at him as he smiled back at me with a sparkle in his eye. “I can tell that the chivalry is rubbing off on you.” He teased. “Maybe a little.” I admitted, as we drove the rest of the way into downtown Pacific Grove. He did most of the talking, telling me about pitching practice and how excited the boys were to have a sleep over. I hoped that Alice could keep their excitement under control, and when I expressed my concern he gave me an odd look and then laughed. “I think it‟s the boys that‟ll need to keep Alice under control. She had the whole night planned out. I put my foot down when she pulled the art easels and paints into the piano room.” “You have a piano? Do you play?” He nodded casually.

“Yep, since I was three.” Is there anything this man didn‟t do? That‟s just one more thing to make me feel inadequate in his presence. We arrived at a quaint little restaurant in the heart of Pacific Grove. Edward opened the door for me as we entered a softly lit dining area with only about eight tables and an oyster bar in the back towards the kitchen. We stood at the door and a gentleman in his mid thirties, dark hair and a goatee held up his hand to let us know that he‟ll be with us in a minute. I felt Edward‟s hand at the small of my back and his warm breath at my ear as he leaned in to fill me in on the establishment. “That‟s John, the owner‟s son.” He whispered in my ear and I fought the shiver of having him so close. After a few moments the waiter came over and greeted us. “Dr. Cullen.” He said as he shook Edward‟s hand and then turned towards me. “And, who is this lovely lady?” He asked in a smooth voice as he took my hand. “John, I‟d like you to meet Bella.” Edward introduced us and then John motioned us towards a table. “I‟ll let Nino know that you‟re here.” He said as he walked away to get our drinks. A few minutes later a short, middle aged man with a white apron came out from the kitchen. “Edward!” He said as he raised his hands in the air. Edward smiled and stood, immediately embracing his friend. I heard a loud “mwah” as Nino landed a kiss on the side of Edward‟s cheek and slapped the other side in greeting. I smiled widely as Edward grinned and patted him on the back. It was obvious that they had history. “How are the kids and that sweet little sister of yours? Is she married yet? I keep telling her that John is available.” He said as he pointed at his son who was serving another guest their dinner. I giggled as I caught him roll his eyes at his father‟s comment. “Kids are great and Alice is finally getting married.” Nino frowned and then hollered something at John in Italian earning himself a stare from his son. As if I magically appeared Nino focused his attention on me and I smiled, liking him immediately. He pulled out the chair next to me and sat down, Edward followed with a chuckle. “Nino, this is Bella.” Edward introduced. Nino whispered something in Italian and took my hand in his. I heard the word beautiful muttered under his breath before he brought my hand to his lips, kissing it gently. I smiled graciously, as he kept my hand in his and turned to talk to Edward. "E' bellissima Edward. Era ora che trovassi una cara ragazza. E'meglio che stai attento prima che te la porti via." Nino said as Edward let out a chuckle. "Mi preoccuperò quando saprai reggere il confronto con me, vecchio sporcaccione." Edward replied at what I figured was flawless Italian. Nino chuckled and then turned back to me. “So beautiful Bella, are you ready to give up this loser and let a real man show you the meaning of amore?” I smiled, liking that he felt comfortable enough with me to tease. Edward cleared his throat to get Nino‟s attention. “Do I need to go get Marie and tell her that you‟re out here flirting while she‟s back there slaving in the kitchen?” Edward asked playfully. Nino sobered up and released my hand, grumbling under his breath about spoiling his fun. He stood up and kissed my cheek gently.

“It‟s was a pleasure meeting you beautiful Bella. Don‟t forget, my offer still stands.” He said with a wink then turned back towards Edward with a smile. “Come say goodbye before you leave.” Edward nodded and I watched as he made his way back into the kitchen. “He‟s sweet.” I commented as John brought a bottle of wine and two glasses. “Sweet like a toothache.” John mumbled under his breath, earning a chuckle from both of us before he went to help another guest. “I‟m impressed, you know Italian. Is there any other language you know?” Edward shrugged his shoulders and answered nonchalantly. “Spanish and a little bit of French.” Why did this not surprise me? “So, what did he say to you?” I asked watching as Edward squirmed a little bit in his seat. “Uh…..He said you were beautiful and that he had plans to steal you.” He said with a slight chuckle. “And, what did you say?” I inquired trying to hide the blush. “I called him a dirty old man.” He said simply, however I had a strange suspicion that wasn‟t the complete translation. We had a lovely dinner and I couldn‟t believe how easy Edward was to talk to. There was no awkwardness between us like we had the other evening and he seemed much more comfortable. I found out that we had similar interests in music, movies and books as well. Dinner flew by so quickly I was surprised when Edward looked at his watch and told me that we needed to get going. After Edward had taken care of the bill, John brought out a chilled bottle of wine and a plastic bag with two Styrofoam containers inside. Nino came out as we were leaving and said his goodbyes, telling me to come back when I lost the stiff. I grinned as he pulled me into a hug ad kissed my cheek one last time. Edward hooked his arm around my waist and pulled me against his side. “The Italian act can only go so far before it‟s considered dirty old man territory.” Edward teased as he shook Nino‟s hand and led me to the car. We were back in Carmel in fifteen minutes and racing through the side streets. I lost all sense of direction and was hopelessly lost when he parked at a fence made of grape stakes. He helped me out of the car and then went to his trunk where he pulled out a picnic basket. He slipped the bottle of wine and food containers into the basket, then grabbed two blankets, throwing them over the arm that was holding the basket. When he had everything situated he closed the trunk and then offered me his other arm. “Where are we?” I asked apprehensively. He smiled widely and led me to the corner of the street where we turned into what looked like a parking lot. “Lesson on chivalry.” He said smiling wider. I saw a small booth as we crossed the lot and then behind a few Cypress trees was a sign that said Forest Theater. I looked somewhat confused. “We‟re seeing a movie?” He shook his head softly. “You‟ll see.” He pulled me along as he handed our tickets to the ticket taker. When we stepped on the other side

of the fence I was in wonder at the scene laid before me. It was an outdoor theater. Set under the stars and surrounded by trees. He pulled me along as I tried to take in everything around me. The stage was set with a medieval castle and on each side of the stage there were two wood burning fire pits. There were row upon rows of benches that sloped upward making every seat a good one. We found a bench in the middle front that was unoccupied and he set the picnic basket down smiling the whole time. “So, what do you think?” He finally asked. I shook my head still amazed that a place like this existed. “I think….I‟m not in Washington anymore.” He barked out a laugh as he wrapped a blanket around me and pointed for me to sit on the bench, then sat next to me with the other blanket on his lap. “It rains too much where I‟m from. A theater like this would never be open.” I said as he reached down and pulled out the wine from the basket. He nodded as he expertly uncorked it and poured us each a glass, setting the bottle back in the basket. Then he pulled out the containers that John had given him and handed one to me. I set my glass down on the bench and opened the container. I knew that it was a dessert because there was cocoa powder sprinkled on the top but I wasn‟t sure what it was. I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “It‟s Tiramisu. Have you never had Tiramisu?” He asked, shocked that I could have missed something so delectable. I shook my head. “No. What‟s in it? I asked hesitantly. He picked up his fork and dipped it into my dessert, then held it up to my mouth. It seemed so natural yet very intimate. “Lady fingers, soaked in espresso or sometimes a coffee flavored liqueur, however I think Marie uses espresso. Sugar, mascarpone cheese, whip cream and cocoa.” I tentatively opened my mouth as he slipped the fork between my lips. I closed my mouth around the cool dessert as he slowly pulled the fork out. His eyes were locked on my lips and I felt a blush rise to my cheeks. His tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip and I remembered that I had something in my mouth. It felt like it was melting so I tasted it for a moment and then swallowed. Edward‟s eyes moved from my lips to my eyes and then he quickly looked away. “It‟s very good.” I whispered. He nodded but fiddled with his blanket before picking up his wine and draining the glass in one swallow. We sat in silence as we ate our dessert and waited for the show to start. I wondered if I had done something to cause him to clam up when he turned back to me and smiled. “You haven‟t asked what we‟ll be seeing tonight.” He said and I felt my head spinning at how quickly he could go from complete introvert to completely charming. “What will we be seeing?” I asked enthusiastically. “Camelot.” He said with a wink. “Where true chivalry was invented.” I rolled my eyes in mock irritation. “Only you would find this interesting.” I teased. He clutched at his heart as if in pain. “You wound me with your words.” He teased as I bumped his shoulder letting him know that I really was enjoying our bantering. He refilled my glass of wine but I noticed that he pulled out a bottle of water for himself.

The play started and I was sucked in from the beginning. The actors were not confined to the stage but actually interacted with the audience as well, making the whole experience completely magical. The tale of King Arthur and the star crossed lovers Guinevere and Lancelot was heartbreaking while there was enough comic relief to make the production perfect. I clapped eagerly as the actors came back on stage for their final curtain call. Edward gathered the picnic basket and blankets up and we walked back to the car side by side. “So, what did you think?” He asked in a quiet voice after I was settled in his car and he slid into the driver‟s seat. “I loved it.” I said honestly. “I can definitely see the benefits of chivalry.” He smiled at me and then looked back at the road. We drove in comfortable silence back to my house. I started to feel nervous when he pulled into my driveway. Do I ask him in? Will he think I‟m being forward? I almost started to panic when he opened my door and held out his hand for me. When my hand slid into his all of my nerves left and I realized I would love nothing more than for him to come in and stay for awhile, or even all night. He walked me to my door and I unlocked it, turning to look back at him. His green eyes seemed brighter as we stood under the porch light. “Um…would you like to come in for a little while?” I couldn‟t believe I asked without a squeak in my voice. He looked deeply in my eyes and I watched as different emotions flitted across his expression. Finally he let out a long sigh. “It‟s getting late and I have to be at the field early, so I should probably get home.” He said apologetically. “Sure. No…that‟s fine. Um…well then I‟ll see you tomorrow morning?” I mentally kicked myself at how I stuttered through our goodbye. He smiled and nodded and then his hands were on my upper arms as he pulled me closer. I stood as still as I could, knowing that this kiss would be amazing. He ducked his head towards mine and I closed my eyes, waiting for the moment his lips would touch mine. The anticipation was almost too much to bear and then I felt his warm lips on my cheek for a brief moment. He pulled away too quickly and my eyes snapped open to see him standing a few feet away from me. “Goodnight Isabella.” He whispered before he turned and walked back to his car. “Goodnight.” I said but he had already closed the door to his car and started the engine. I watched until he pulled out of the driveway and then I went inside and plopped myself down on the couch. The evening was perfect up until his hasty retreat. I sat on the couch going over in my mind what had led him to running away but I couldn‟t come up with a good explanation. I didn‟t think that I had done anything wrong so he must have been uncomfortable with the thought of kissing me. For some reason I didn‟t feel like it was personal. He has something deeper that he has to deal with and at that moment it dawned on me how difficult it probably was for him to take me on a date. I wondered if he had been on one since his wife died. My heart broke a little bit for him. If my theory was correct he was feeling guilty.

~*~ Translation: Nino-“She is beautiful Edward. It's about time you found a nice girl. You better watch it before I steal her

away.” Edward- “I'll worry when you can keep up with me, dirty old man.” -Favaloro’s is, in my opinion, the best Italian restaurant on the Peninsula. If you’re Sicilian does that mean the food is still considered Italian because Nino was adamant that he be called a Sicilian. LOL

~*~

Chapter 11 Opening Day Edward Cullen What in the hell is wrong with me? I berated myself for the hundredth time this evening. I reflected on the evenings events as I drove through the thick fog that had settled in downtown Carmel, casting an eerie silence over the now empty streets. I had wanted to kiss her since the moment I was knocked on the floor by her overly excited pup and when the opportunity finally presented itself I clammed up and ran. I swept my fingers through my hair in agitation, tugging on the ends in a futile attempt to pull myself out of the irritation I was currently feeling. My emotions were all over the place tonight and I didn‟t know what to make of them. Our conversation to the restaurant had been easy and I found myself having fun, which I can‟t say has happened with the opposite sex since Tanya. Bella was smart and had a quick teasing wit that made me what to know more about her. She sucked me in with her every word. When we arrived at the restaurant, I felt a twinge of jealousy when John took her hand and flirted with her. I haven‟t felt that caveman tendency for a long time either. It was so irrational, because I knew that John was just being himself and would never intentionally come on to her but I still wanted to pull her closer to me and claim my territory. I shook my head in disgust at myself but then I felt a little better that I didn‟t make a complete fool of myself and follow through with that thought. At the theater, I was enraptured by her delight at the surprise. I watched her carefully as she took in the wonders of the theater under the stars. That was when I had the second urge to kiss her that night. We had been so close, and her pink little tongue reaching out to take in the bite of dessert that I offered her was almost too much, but then I froze as thoughts of Tanya swarmed in my mind and I remembered her sitting in that same theater, laughing with friends. I knew that my guilt was unfounded but that didn‟t stop me from feeling it anyway. I tried to reason with myself but it only got worse as I watched Bella‟s eyes shine brightly as the play went on. I couldn‟t deny the attraction and sparks that happened as I touched her hand. I had every intention of kissing her and saying goodnight but when she asked if I wanted to come in my mind was filled with all of the things that we could be doing in the privacy of her home with no kids around and I ran again. I knew that if I kissed her I would have never left. Why must I always feel like I am betraying my wife? I pulled into the driveway and ran in the back door, closing it gently so as to not wake anyone up. I walked to the liquor cabinet and pulled out the bottle of twenty-three year old scotch, dusting off the bottle since it had been years since I touched it. I poured a glass and quickly downed it in one shot and then poured another one to the brim before tightening the lid back on the bottle. I walked in the dimly lit living room and looked out the huge bay

window towards the ocean, contemplating if I wanted to brave the cold, foggy air to the solace of my sanctuary. The living room light flicked on making me jump and turn to a grinning Alice. She walked in and plopped herself on the leather sofa, pulling her pajama clad legs up under her. She had that look in her eye that meant she wanted the details of tonight‟s date. I walked over and sat next to her as she reached for my glass. I handed it to her and she brought it to her mouth taking a sip. “So you brought out the Macallan.” She said casually as she handed the glass back to me. “That means you are either celebrating your date or trying to drown it out. Which is it?” Alice asked with a slight smirk on her face. I shrugged my shoulders and took another drink. “Probably a little of both.” I finally relented after she stared me down. “What happened? Did she like the theater? Did she like the restaurant?” I nodded my head as she peppered me with questions. “Favaloro‟s was perfect as usual. Well…except for Nino‟s shameless flirting with Bella.” Alice giggled, knowing all too well what I was talking about. “Oh yeah, I wouldn‟t go back in there until you and Jasper are married. Nino said something about John needing to get on the ball and asked if he needed help with a kidnapping plan.” I laughed as I remembered the banter Nino was throwing at his son from across the restaurant at the news of Alice‟s wedding. Alice laughed and shook her head. “Thanks for the warning. Now, what about the theater?” “It was fine. We had Marie‟s Tiramisu and the fog didn‟t come in until after we left.” I swirled the contents of my glass and thought about the end of our date again. A scowl came across my face and I realized immediately that I had made a mistake when Alice gave me a concerned stare. “And?” Alice prodded. Why must she always be so annoying? “And, what?” I snapped, hoping that she would sense my mood and drop it. However, I should have known my sister better than that. She‟s like a pit bull, she grabs on and doesn‟t let go until she wants to. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me, not saying another word. I couldn‟t stand that uncomfortable stare and she knew it. It was the same one Esme would give us as kids to make us comply. I let out a long sigh and stared back into my glass. “Alice.” I began and then swallowed the lump that was forming in my throat. “I don‟t know if I can do this.” I whispered. She sat up on her knees on the sofa and scooted closer to me, wrapping her small, little arms around me and placed her cheek on my shoulder. I found myself wanting to tell her what happened so I opened my mouth and explained my fears, my guilt and my desire for the pretty brunette that had turned my world up side down. Alice sat there the whole time that I poured out my heart and listened, not interrupting once but held me close, giving some comfort to the range of emotions I was feeling. When I was done I felt the wetness on my cheek that I didn‟t know had appeared, embarrassed I quickly stood up and walked to the window, quietly wiping at my cheeks. “So, you wanted to kiss her but you didn‟t.” Alice restated what I had told her a few moments ago. I gave a curt nod as I continued to stare out the window. I heard the leather squeak and looked at her reflection in the glass. She was trying to hold in excitement by fidgeting in her seat. I rolled my eyes knowing that she was going to give me her advice whether I wanted it or not.

“I know that you are feeling guilty but you have to know that it‟s okay to move on, right?” She knew the answer to that question too since I had just told her that I knew rationally that Tanya would want me to move on. I turned and looked at her when I spoke. “Of course, I know that. Tanya told me…” My voice broke and I felt the tears starting to well up again. I pushed them down and waited a moment before I new I could speak without my voice cracking. “She told me she just wanted me to be happy.” I whispered looking down at my shoes. “But I can‟t just forget what she meant to me.” “Edward, just because you move on doesn‟t mean you stop loving her. It‟s okay to find love again. Tanya will always hold a piece of your heart, she‟s the mother of your children but that doesn‟t mean that you can‟t learn to love again.” I gave up on holding the tears back as Alice came across the room and pulled me into a hug. After a few minutes she pulled back and gave me a brilliant smile. “You know, I think Tanya would have loved Bella.” Alice said with a tear in her eye as well. I nodded my agreement before she pulled me down and kissed my cheek. She started back towards her room before turning back. “Edward?” I turned around and caught her eye. “Liz wasn‟t very happy about your date this evening. She was pretty mean to Seth but I think that might be due to the fact that he and Anthony were caught reading her diary.” I chuckled, knowing that they probably got the full wrath of Liz with that prank. “I‟ll talk to her tomorrow.” I said as she nodded and then was gone, leaving me to ponder the words she had left me with. I grabbed my jacket and went out the back door, following the stairs down to the beach. The crisp air had a sting to it as the breeze whipped at my hair. I bundled my coat closer to me and walked down to the waters edge. The fog was low and danced across the waves causing a magical current in the air. I stood there for a long time, my nose and ears feeling the effects of the cold. I couldn‟t bring myself to talk to Tanya like I had in the past. This time was different, I had made up my mind and it was too hard to think about her while I did the one thing I hadn‟t done in over eleven years. I pulled off my wedding ring and held it in my hand for a few minutes before slipping it in my pocket. “I love you.” I whispered before turning back to the house. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The morning was pure chaos as Anthony and Seth terrorized Elizabeth until she was screaming and throwing things to get them out of her room. I intervened and put both boys to work helping Alice get all of the supplies together for the Opening Day carnival, then I slipped inside Liz‟s room and found her going through one of the scrapbooks that Tanya had made for her. “Honey, are you okay?” I said as I sat on her bed and pushed back the hair off of her shoulder. She looked up at me and there were tears in her eyes. “I miss mom.” She whispered, wiping the tear that had leaked out of the corner of her eye. “I know sweetheart. I do, too.” I said as a strong look of defiance flashed across her delicate features. “Then why did you go out with Seth‟s mom last night?” I could hear the anger in her voice but underneath was

the hint of hurt and betrayal. Exactly how I had felt last night. I didn‟t really know what to say to her. I didn‟t know if there was anything between Bella and I yet and I didn‟t want to say something that would cause her to hurt even more. Not being the most patient child, she didn‟t wait for my answer anyway. “You should have told me. Instead I heard it from that little bratty boy.” She huffed before slamming the scrapbook closed and tossing it on the floor. Maybe she was more hurt that I hadn‟t told her of my plans then she was of me actually going out on a date. “I‟m sorry, I should have said something.” I began before she cut me off with her own take on the situation. “No, you shouldn‟t have gone at all. Don‟t you love mommy anymore?” Her question ripped at my heart and for a stunned moment I didn‟t know what to say. Then the anger that I usually held in when she was having one of her tantrums erupted. “I told you not to ever question my love for your mother.” I seethed quietly. “I have struggled for the last three years to deal with her death and all I have ever done is love her, but you continue to give me this...this attitude” I waved my hand at her indicating that I was fed up with her blaming me. “It wasn‟t my fault that she died. Some idiot drove a car after he had too much to drink! I did everything I could to save her life!” My voice was rising with each sentence. “There was nothing I could have done to prevent it. You need to come to terms with the truth otherwise you are going to be a miserable little girl.” I felt a hand on my arm and I jerked away quickly, turning to see Alice with wide eyes. I realized at that moment that I had royally screwed up. I turned to Liz and she had tears streaming down her face. What have I done? “I‟m so sorry, Liz.” I said as I reached for her but she pulled away from me. I looked up at Alice and she nodded her head towards the door so I stood up and left, leaving my baby yet again when she was in the most desperate need of me. The boys were outside throwing a baseball back and forth so I sank down on the couch and buried my head in my hands. I sat there and thought about the best way to make things better with Elizabeth. Even though she needed to understand what I told her I should have never raised my voice and dismissed her fears so easily. She lost her mother and she was soon going to lose Alice to Jasper so it‟s natural for her to worry that I might be the next to leave since my attention was distracted at the moment. I wondered if I should just end what was going on with Bella before it can get any more serious but the thought of that left me too empty to follow through with the idea. No, I need this. Whatever it is with Bella, I needed to move on and Bella was the first person I had ever felt even remotely attracted to. The boys came crashing through the kitchen and I knew that I needed to get them under control before they destroyed the house. “Are you guys ready to go?” I called into the kitchen. Seth popped his head around the kitchen doorway with a huge smile on his face. I immediately saw Bella in his smile. “Yep!” They both shouted as I pulled myself off of the couch and walked in the kitchen to find Anthony standing on the counter. “What are you doing?” I said as he looked sheepishly down at me.

“Getting a peanut butter cookie.” He whispered, waiting for the reprimand. I laughed and walked over to him, taking him off the counter. “Next time ask, Aunt Ally would have a heart attack if she caught you up on the counter like that.” I said as I grabbed the cookie jar and opened it, offering one to each of the boys. “My mom‟s like that too.” Seth said cheerfully as he shoved half the cookie in his mouth, crumbs falling out of the corners. “She told me that if she caught me on the counter again she was going to take a switch to me.” He sat there thoughtfully as I chuckled. “What‟s a switch?” I barked out a laugh and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Let‟s hope you never find out.” I said as I ruffled his hair. Alice came in with a somber look on her face, letting me know with her eyes that we would talk later. A second after Liz was standing in the doorway. When she saw Seth she scowled at him and then looked sheepishly at me before bowing her head. “It‟s time to go.” Anthony said excitedly. “Can we take your car? Jasper‟s going to pick me up after the carnival is over. I nodded my head and we all piled into my crammed Volvo. Liz, Seth and Anthony were all buckled in the backseat when I pulled out of the driveway. “Stop touching me.” Liz whined as I drove around the corner a little too quickly. “I‟m sorry.” I heard Seth whisper to her quietly. A few minutes later her voice was raised in irritation. “I said stop touching me.” I glanced in the rear view mirror and Seth innocently looked up at me and shrugged his shoulders. “I can‟t help it, we‟re all touching.” He said, trying to explain the problem. I felt bad for the poor kid, he wasn‟t used to her nasty streak. Alice must have felt the same way because her head snapped back and she glared at Elizabeth. “Elizabeth, can you please stop whining?” Alice said with a stern voice. “Seth isn‟t trying to irritate you, it‟s just cramped.” I glanced back to see Liz huff and fold her arms over her chest. Seth, however, had a look on his face like he just fell in love with Alice. Poor kid‟s got it bad. I chuckled and Seth caught me looking at him when a bright blush that rivaled his mother‟s lit up his face. I winked at him in the mirror and he smiled widely at me. We got to the ballpark in a flurry of action. Emmett was already backing up the huge industrial sized barbecue that he had borrowed from Jasper‟s catering service. I called all of the kids to me as soon as they got out of the car. “You guys need to stay out of the way for the next half an hour until the carnival starts. Got it?” They all nodded and I waved them off. Seth and Tony took off in one direction and Liz ran over to one of the coach‟s daughters that she knew from school. I sighed and looked over at Alice. “How bad is it?” I asked as she looked a little apprehensive but I knew that she would tell me everything that had happened. “She doesn‟t like the idea of Bella and you dating but I think she‟ll come around, but you need to keep it together. Your little outburst didn‟t help.” She said and I realized her irritation didn‟t just lie with Liz.

“I know. Thanks Ally.” I whispered to her as I pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around me and gave me a squeeze before giggling into my shirt. “Look who‟s here.” Alice sang before pulling away and turning towards Isabella. My smile widened at seeing her. She could make a pair of jeans and t-shirt look amazing, I thought as my eyes roamed over her body. Bella smiled over Alice‟s shoulder as Alice bounced in front of her. “Yay! You‟re here. We have so much to do.” Alice said as she grabbed Bella‟s hand and dragged her over to the table that Emmett had just set up. Bella looked over her shoulder and whispered „hi‟ to me as she was pulled behind Alice. I smiled wider letting her know that I had heard her. “Edward!” Emmett‟s booming voice brought me out of my transfixed stare. I turned to him with a goofy grin on my face that he instantly recognized. “Stop ogling the hottie and get over here... I need help securing this before we get it lit.” He said waving at the barbecue. I quickly glanced over at Bella and realized that she had heard the whole exchange her cheeks were bright red and I felt the heat rising in my own. Leave it to Emmett to make things awkward. I ran over to Emmett and while his hands were full I punched him in the arm hard, earning a growl and a promise for payback later. I smirked as I helped him get the barbecue set up and after a few minutes we had it roaring. “Em, you need to turn it down or we‟re going to have crispy hot dogs.” “Awww, what‟s the matter Eddie? You afraid of your wiener getting fried.” I heard the double connotation in his words and gave him a frown. “Very mature, Emmett.” I said with a haughty tone. He shrugged his shoulders playfully and turned down the heat. “How did your date go last night?” All playfulness was gone and I knew that Emmett was as worried as Alice was. “It was nice.” I said hoping that he would be satisfied with my short answer. I should have known better. “Did you stay at her place last night?” It figures that Emmett would assume that I had already slept with her. I rolled my eyes and ignored his question. “I take that as a no.” He grumbled, knowing that he wouldn‟t get any more details out of me. After a few minutes Bella and Alice carried the table closer to the barbecue. “We want to be able to get the hot dogs as they come off the grill.” Alice explained, but I wasn‟t complaining having Bella closer to us. I was determined to make things better from last night. I looked over at her as she bit her lip trying to figure out how to set up the canopy. Alice had drifted over to the next booth, talking animatedly with one of the moms from last year so I went to offer a hand to Bella. “Here, let me help with that.” I said as I took one end and showed her how to pull it apart until it was fully erect. We lifted it up and put it over the table and then stood apart from one another with knowing grins on our faces. Alice and Emmett were preoccupied so I thought it was a good time to apologize. “I‟m sorry about last night.” She looked a little surprised at my admission and then recovered beautifully.

“Sorry about what?” She said with a wicked smile upon her face. I realized that she was preparing to tease me once more and I wondered how I kept walking in to it every time. “Sorry about leaving so abruptly because I really just wanted to kiss you senseless.” Any teasing that she had planned just flew by as she ducked her head in embarrassment. Gotcha! “Edward!” I groaned at Alice‟s perfect timing. “Yes Ally?” I said letting the irritation drip from my words. “Can you and Bella go get the rest of the paper plates and cups out of the car?” She said sweetly. A little too sweetly. I gave her a questioning look and she just winked at me. Meddling pixie. “Sure thing.” I said as I turned towards Bella and motioned towards my car. We walked quietly side by side behind each of the booths and bounce houses, when she abruptly stopped. “You can‟t just say something like that to me and not follow through.” Bella said as I slowly turned back to her. Without thinking I swooped her into my arms and had her pressed up against the bounce house delivery van. She looked slightly shocked at my quick actions as I stared down into her huge chocolate eyes. “I have every intention of following through.” I whispered as my gaze traveled to her lips. That perfect pink tongue that tempted me last night darted out to wet her lips. I looked back up into her eyes to see her almost pleading with me to finish what I had started last night. I slowly leaned closer, tasting her sweet breath on my lips. I hadn‟t felt her hands wrap into my hair until she tugged me closer. I kept my eyes locked with hers until our lips connected in the softest of touches. Then I gave in to the warmth and sensual feeling of her mouth on mine. My eyes rolled to the back as I groaned into her mouth and deepened the kiss. She pressed her body into mine and I instantly forgot where I was as my arms wrapped fully around her small waist, pulling her closer. Her head slanted to the other side and I followed her lead, breaking contact only long enough to keep from bumping noses in the switch. I hesitantly opened my mouth and felt her warm, wet tongue run delicately across my bottom lip. I held in the shiver that ran up my spine as my tongue slowly came in contact with hers. There was no awkwardness in this kiss, it was as if we knew exactly what the other wanted, she sank deeper into me and I pulled her closer. Our tongues started off soft and hesitant but turned into fire and need in a matter of seconds. I faintly heard a whistle and clapping, and then Bella quickly broke free of our locked lips. Dazed, I looked down at her as she buried her face in my chest. I pulled her closer and glanced up to see Coach Bell and Emmett giving us a round of applause. “WooHoo! Edward made it to first base!” Emmett chuckled and slapped Coach Bell on the back. I was in too much of a Bella haze to be embarrassed or irritated with the interruption. Instead I smiled stupidly at our audience until I saw a little strawberry blond head poke out from around Emmett. My smile instantly vanished as I realized what Elizabeth was witnessing at that moment. Bella in my arms. She turned quickly and darted around the bounce house and I let out a frustrated groan. Bella looked up at me as I released her. “What?” She asked, grabbing on to my arms, trying to prevent me from bolting again. “Liz.” I said as she nodded and let me go. I handed her my keys and then took off after my daughter. I saw her long hair flying behind her as she ducked behind a carnival game. I passed quickly by a few of the

coaches who tried to flag me down but I brushed them off and slowed as I rounded the game. Liz was sitting on the ground, her knees pulled up under her chin as tears slid down her cheeks. I walked over and sat down next to her and she quickly climbed into my lap, her wet cheeks buried into my shirt. I couldn‟t say anything so I just held her, rubbing her back until she wiped her face on my shirt and looked up at me. I didn‟t see any of the anger that I expected in her eyes. All that was there was her hurt. I kissed her forehead and pulled up her chin so she was looking me directly in the eye. “Are you okay?” I asked quietly. After a moment of hesitation she nodded. “You really like her, don‟t you?” There was no malice in her voice only sadness. I sighed and knew that it was probably better to get this out in the open now. “Yeah, I do.” She nodded her understanding but then sank back down into my chest, her little fingers gripping into my sides. I planned on sitting here as long as she needed me but Anthony and Seth came around the corner, Anthony‟s face full of concern. “What happened to Liz?” He asked as he pet the back of her hair, in a loving gesture. I smiled up at him and Seth. “She‟s okay, aren‟t you pumpkin?” I asked pulling her back a little. She nodded her head, sniffed once more and then climbed off of my lap. “Did that mean Laurent pull your hair again?” Anthony asked and I watched as both he and Seth clenched their fists. She shook her head and then looked up at me. I smiled my encouragement and then she turned back to the boys. “No, I just saw dad kissing your mom.” She said pointing an accusing finger at Seth. Neither one of the boys heard the sharpness in her voice as both of their heads snapped to me. Fucking great! I ran my fingers through my hair not wanting to deal with three irate kids. What I didn‟t expect was Anthony and Seth‟s shocked stares to turn into wide grins, then they looked at each other and bunted fists in triumph. Liz rolled her eyes and turned to leave. I caught her arm before she could escape and pulled her back to me. “Are you okay?” I asked once more, hoping that if she wasn‟t I would see it in her eyes. She looked down at the ground and then back up at me. “Yeah.” She whispered. “I‟m okay.” I nodded and watched her run off towards her friends. Both boys were huddled together and I didn‟t want to endure any more uncomfortable conversations so I slipped away. I caught up to Bella after she had everything set up and was talking with Alice. When she spotted me she quickly came over with concern in her eyes. “How‟s Liz?” I couldn‟t help but feel drawn even more to her when I heard the concern she had for my child. “She‟s okay. I think we just surprised her.” I saw the boys run out from behind the game booth. “Uh…she told Seth and Anthony what happened.” I worried about how she would take that piece of information, but she surprised me again and laughed. “And, did you get the spiel about how we need to get married so that they can be brothers?” She had a sparkle in

her eye and I smiled, shaking my head. “Well it‟s coming, because he hit me with that when I told him about our date.” I barked out a laugh and brought her closer to me. She looked up and smiled as I bent down and kissed her lips chastely. “Thanks for the warning.”

~*~

Chapter 12 Propositions, Attacks and Pranks Bella Swan Black I floated to Edward‟s car, reliving every single second of what was the single best kiss in my life. The way he had pinned me up against the van made me think that he might have an animalistic side to him, hidden under the cool exterior. The thought made me shiver just a little at the images running through my mind. I unlocked the trunk to his Volvo and pulled out the huge bag of paper plates and cups, balancing them on my knee as I closed the trunk, letting my mind wander back to his lips on mine. I was so preoccupied with my own naughty little daydream that I didn‟t hear Mike come up behind me. “Here, let me help you with those.” He said as he took the paper plates out of my hands. “Uh…thanks.” I stammered, immediately feeling uncomfortable with the way his eyes roamed up and down my body after he had taken the shield of paper plates away. “No problem.” He smiled down at me and I didn‟t really know what else to say so I kept walking, hoping to get back to the booth as quickly as possible. “So…I was thinking that maybe we could go out and get a drink.” It took me a minute to register that he had just asked me out on a date and then I stopped dead in my tracks, feeling the anger starting to boil under my skin. Isn‟t he married? I hate men like him. I seethed, as memories of Jake and Leah flooded my mind. At least Jake had the decency to wait until after we were separated before he went and had an affair. Not that that was much better but this…this was wrong. “Aren‟t you married?” I asked with venom in my voice. He didn‟t seem to notice my defensive stance because he just smiled at me like I had asked how the weather is. “Jess and I have a very open relationship.” What was once anger, quickly turned to disgust as I ripped the paper plates out of his hand and stomped away. “Hey, wait. I said I can help you with those.” He grabbed for them again and I pulled them out of his grasp. “Thanks, but no thanks.” I said between clenched teeth. “Well…what about the drink?” He asked and I couldn‟t believe that one person could be this stupid. He basically just asked me to go screw around with him like some common skank and I‟m supposed to just fall into his arms? I

wanted to throw up on his shoes. “I was referring to both.” I huffed as I quickly picked up my pace, leaving him to stare after me. I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized that he was no longer following me. I can‟t believe the gall of that man. I couldn‟t feel even remotely sorry for Jessica because I had seen first hand the bitch that she could be. That conversation summed up the reasons why Jessica was so vigilant in her pursuit of Edward, Emmett, and Jasper. I saw red when I thought of her coming within ten feet of Edward. That would not be happening. “What‟s with the scowl?” Alice asked when I set the plates and cups on the table. “Mike Newton.” I answered, feeling the tension in my jaw from my clenched teeth. “What did he do?” She asked with a frown. “Asked me out to get a drink” “And a roll in the hay.” She added with a giggle. “What did you say?” “Thanks, but no thanks.” “Wow, you were awfully polite.” “I couldn‟t very well have punched him in the nose in the middle of the baseball field.” A smile finally playing at my mouth with the thought of doing just that. “No, I suppose you couldn‟t, but I would have loved to see it.” We both started giggling as we finished setting up the food booth. “So, how was your date last night?” Alice asked nonchalantly as she grabbed a chair and gracefully sat down behind the booth. I felt the smile twist at my mouth as I pulled up a chair and plunked down beside her. “It was great.” Sensing that Alice wanted to hear more, I went for the safest answer. “Favaloro‟s was amazing and the Forest Theater is so beautiful.” I smiled wistfully as I remembered how perfect the night had been. “What about Edward?” Alice asked with a sly smile on her face. What about him?” I asked innocently, she rolled her eyes and then gave me a pointed look. “You know what I mean. How did it go?” She prodded more and I knew that there was no getting around her when she wanted an answer. “Well…” I said, trying to stall. She just gave me a stare that said she would wait all day if she had to so I let out a long sigh. He was perfect.” I said with a sigh. “I don‟t think I have ever met anyone with impeccable manners like him. He was very attentive and sweet.” By the time I had finished, she was silently bouncing in her seat. “So, are you guys going out again?” Alice asked excitedly. Before I could answer, Emmett had come back from his errand and cut me off.

“She better, after the lip lock I just witnessed.” He said with a booming chuckle. I ducked my head when Alice‟s eyes went wide in shock. I felt the heat run up my neck and settle firmly on my cheeks. “Details.” Alice commanded and all I could do was shake my head in embarrassment. Since she wasn‟t going to get them from me she turned to Emmett. “What exactly did you see?” She asked Emmett, excitement evident in her voice. “Our reclusive brother in a pretty heated make out session with our new friend here.” He said pointing at me. “It took them awhile to hear the applause that coach Bell and I were giving them.” Emmett said with a chuckle. Alice turned back to me with a wide grin and thankfully changed the subject. “So, next weekend is the Good Old Days that we discussed at dinner, and I was thinking that after the game we can all meet down there and hang out.” I nodded my head in agreement. “That sounds great.” I said as I spotted Edward coming towards us. I instantly worried about how Elizabeth had taken catching her father kissing me. I excused myself from Alice and quickly made my way over to him. He looked a little apprehensive when I reached him. “How‟s Liz?” I asked with concern in my eyes. “She‟s okay. I think we just surprised her.” He said with a sheepish smile. I nodded feeling a bit more relieved that it wasn‟t worse. “Uh…she told Seth and Anthony what happened.” He said with a worried crease in his brow. I immediately laughed, wondering if Seth gave Edward the speech about all the reasons that we should get married, like he had with me earlier this week. “And, did you get the spiel about how we need to get married so that they can be brothers?” I said with a sly smile. He smiled back and then shook his head. “Well, it‟s coming, because he hit me with that when I told him about our date.” He barked out a laugh and reached for me bringing me closer to him. I looked up and smiled as he bent down and kissed my lips chastely. “Thanks for the warning.” He whispered when he pulled away. I felt my insides turn to jelly again at his touch and felt a small thrill that since he had kissed me again, even if it was innocently, then he had plans to continue kissing me. That little bit of knowledge made me smile wider. He took my hand in his and walked back to the barbecue. Alice seemed to have watched the whole reunion because she seemed a bit more excited than she was a moment ago. “Get your hands off of your girlfriend and get your ass over here, little brother. I can only keep so many wieners rotating before I burn them.” Edward brought my hand up to his lips and kissed my knuckles gently before releasing my hand and jogging over to his brother. I stood watching him for a moment, slightly stunned by Emmett‟s words but even more by Edward‟s acceptance of them. I snapped out of my blissful daydream to see Alice struggling with a line of boys in uniform. I quickly went to help her. A few hours later, after the lunch rush died down, Edward and Emmett needed to go have a team picture taken, leaving me to man the barbecue. I loved to cook but when it came to barbecuing it scared the hell out of me. I always overcooked hamburgers and steak when I grilled so I took the tongs from Edward with a skeptical frown on my face. He chuckled lightly.

“Just keep them rotating until they‟re done.” I nodded my head and then felt his warm breath on my neck as he leaned down and kissed the soft spot of my neck, directly under my ear. I leaned back into him and sighed. “If you keep doing that I‟ll burn every one of them.” My voice cracked as I spoke. He chuckled and then squeezed my shoulders before he took off to round up the team. I drifted off into my own little fantasy while I mindlessly moved the hot dogs around the grill after about twenty minutes I was pulled away when Elizabeth came up to me. “Hello Elizabeth, are you having fun at the carnival?” I asked, wanting to get to know her a little better. “Not really.” She said with a gloomy voice. I stopped rotating the hot dogs and looked at her, contemplating how to cheer her up. “Oh, I‟m sorry. Did you go check out the games?” “No.” She said shortly as I brushed off the feeling of unease I suddenly felt. “Uh…what about the bounce houses or maybe the slide, they look like fun?” “No, I don‟t feel like playing.” I wondered briefly if maybe she was coming down with a cold. “Are you feeling okay? Would you like to sit down for awhile and rest?” “Why do you care?” She snapped at me and I took a step back at the hostility that could not be mistaken. “I‟m sorry?” I asked, thinking that maybe I misunderstood. “I said what do you care? You‟re not my mother.” She pointed out and glared at me. “I know that,” I stammered, totally taken aback by the blatant hatred in her voice. “I just wanted to help.” “Then go away.” She snapped before turning quickly and stomped off in the other direction leaving me stunned and speechless. “I‟m so sorry.” Alice whispered, as I shook my head and sat heavily in the chair next to me, the hot dogs forgotten. “She‟s usually only that way towards Edward and Tony.” I looked up into Alice‟s pleading eyes. “Is she like this all the time?” “No, just when she‟s scared.” Alice tried to explain but it only confused me more. “Scared? I don‟t think I did anything to scare her.” I said, thinking back on our conversation and not being able to see how I could have frightened her. “No, scared that she‟s going to lose someone else in her life. She‟s feeling a bit threatened with you and Edward dating. Give her time, she‟ll come around.” Realization finally dawned on me. I was so used to Seth always hinting that he liked Edward and he was thrilled that we had a date that I didn‟t think that maybe his kids would feel differently. “What about Anthony?” I asked having to know where I stood with him too.

“Anthony loves you. He‟s a good boy. He‟s selfless and only wants what will make his dad happy.” Alice said as she knelt down and patted my knee. “Don‟t worry, Bella. Liz‟s bark is worse than her bite. She‟ll push the boundaries but she usually realizes when she‟s wrong and will come around.” I nodded my head slowly, wondering how this will effect whatever is going on between Edward and me. I remembered the hot dogs and jumped up pushing them around and realizing that I had burned the batch to a crisp. I sighed heavily and pulled them off onto a platter and threw fresh ones on, determined not to burn these. My thoughts were immersed in the drama from a few minutes ago when I felt Edward press up against my back. “Miss me?” He whispered, sending my heart into a flutter. I smiled despite the grief I was feeling and leaned back against him. “Yep.” I said as he kissed my shoulder and slid the tongs out of my hands. “What did you do? You killed the dogs!” Emmett whined as he came up to the barbecue, spotting the burned hot dogs. He picked up one of them and shoved it into his mouth. “They‟re still good. Serve em‟ up!” Emmett bellowed as he pointed to Alice and then at the hot dogs. Alice wrinkled up her nose and shook her head. “They may be edible for you but I refuse to serve those to anyone else.” Alice said, as Edward chuckled behind me. “What happened? Was my grilling lesson not adequate enough?” He teased and I shrugged not wanting to be the one to tell him what had happened with Elizabeth. I figured Alice would let him know later and I didn‟t want to make things worse with her. We spent the next couple of hours working the booth and occasionally stopping to give the boys more tickets for the games and bounce houses. Elizabeth didn‟t come back to the booth and I found myself worrying about how I could get her to warm up to me. Alice seemed convinced that she would come around but I couldn‟t help but feel that it was going to be a long, hard road. “Dr. Cullen! Dr. Cullen!” A coach from another one of the teams ran up in a panic. Edward stopped what he was doing and I could see his demeanor change from light hearted to all business in a matter of seconds. “Yeah, Tom what happened?” He asked, putting down the tongs and motioning for Emmett to take over. “The Newton kid fell off the bleachers. Took a pretty bad spill, he was unconscious when they told me to come find you.” Both Alice and I gasped, even though I didn‟t care for the little boy, I didn‟t want to see him hurt. Edward nodded and threw me his car keys. “Please go get my medical bag out of the trunk and bring it over.” He said over his shoulder as he jogged away. I ran towards the car and got his bag and was back to him in record time. By the time I handed him the bag, James was awake but flat on his back. Edward pulled out a light and checked his eyes before his hands felt around the back of his head, causing him to wince in pain as he found the tender spot. Edward asked him a few questions and I took a moment to look around. I spotted Tony and Seth standing in the back watching carefully. Seth had that guilty look on his face and I knew immediately that this was no accident.

Edward eased James up into a sitting position and asked him a few more questions about how he was feeling. I glanced up and Tony and Seth were huddled together whispering furiously. What in the hell happened? Edward stood up and offered a hand to James, helping him to his feet. When James tried to take a step he fell into Edward‟s arms. My first thought was that he was dizzy from the fall but then I looked down and noticed that his shoelaces were tied together. SETH! James knelt down to untie his shoes and I watched Edward‟s lips turn down in a frown. He turned to Jessica and gave her the diagnosis. “He hit his head pretty hard. He has a mild concussion. I would have him take it easy for the next few days and don‟t let him go to bed until this evening.” She nodded her head in understanding and then looked worriedly at her son. “He‟ll probably have a headache so it‟s okay to give him Tylenol but if he starts throwing up take him to the hospital immediately.” “Thank you Dr. Cullen.” She cooed batting her eyelashes at him. He gave her a curt smile, picked up his bag and then turned towards me. “Where are the boys?” He asked. I nodded towards the other side of the bleachers, he turned and scanned the crowd until his gaze landed on Seth and Tony then without a word he quickly strode up to them, I followed closely behind. “Boys, follow me.” His voice was filled with authority and Anthony ducked his head in shame, confirming my earlier suspicions. I figured that Edward had the same suspicions as I took up the rear making sure Seth didn‟t decide to bolt. We walked back behind the barbecue, out of the general public‟s eye when he turned around and crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Which one of you tied James‟ shoelaces together?” He asked in a cool voice. The cool calm was more intimidating than Jake‟s loud outbursts and I glanced at Seth who looked terrified. Both boys looked at each other and then at the ground, not willing to admit what they had done but not denying it either. “I‟m waiting for an answer.” There was no mistaken that Edward was angry, but I had to say that I was impressed with the way he kept his calm. Seth and Anthony looked up and I watched a determined face cross Seth‟s before he opened his mouth. “It was me, coach.” Seth said in a quiet whisper. “No, Seth! Don‟t take the blame for me.” Anthony cried and then turned to his dad with a tear in his eye. “It was me, dad. Seth didn‟t have anything to do with it.” I watched Seth and his eyes got as big as saucers and he shook his head vehemently. “Tony, don‟t.” Seth said as he looked back at Edward. “It was my idea and Tony‟s just covering for me because mom will be really mad, because she told me not to get back at James.” Edward‟s gaze went back and forth between the boys before he ran his hand through his hair and then pinched the bridge of his nose. We all stood there and waited for him to figure out how he wanted to handle this. He looked at me for permission and I nodded my head letting him know that I would stand by whatever he said. “What you boys did could‟ve had dangerous consequences.” He said with a sigh. “James should be all right but what you boys did was wrong.” Both of them lowered their heads in shame. “I expect that you both will apologize and not be the cause of anymore drama with James.” They both nodded their head in unison. “After you apologize to James, you will apologize to his parents. Do you understand?” Anthony and Seth looked somberly at one

another and then nodded their heads in understanding. “Anthony, there will be a punishment when we get home.” I watched as Tony looked up at Edward with tears in his eyes and I couldn‟t help but feel sorry for him, especially since I‟m sure the instigator was my son. “Yes, dad.” Anthony whispered. “That goes for you too, Seth.” I growled behind the boys. Seth didn‟t bother to look at me but nodded his head in understanding. “Since both of you can‟t be left to your own devices, I want you to go help Alice clean up.” Seth looked a little too happy at the idea of helping clean up as they both walked over and asked Alice what they needed to do. “I‟m sorry,” Edward said, closing the gap between us. “I hope I didn‟t step on any toes by taking care of that.” I shook my head and waved my hand dismissing his concern. “It needed to be done and don‟t worry, if Seth needs correcting and I‟m not around I hope that you would deal with it.” “I know, but you were around and I was just worried that you might be angry that I reprimanded him.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and pulled him closer to me. “Does it look like I‟m mad?” He chuckled as his hands rubbed up and down my back, sending small shock waves over my body. “No, but I don‟t want to piss you off. You might take a switch to me.” I let out a giggle and then looked at him questioningly. “A switch? Where did that come from?” I asked as he smiled down on me. “This morning, Seth said you‟d take a switch to him if he got on the counters.” My giggle turned into a full out laugh. “Like he has ever experienced a spanking, let alone a switch.” I said between giggles. “Just making sure, you looked like you were considering it a moment ago.” He teased. “No, not a switch but he‟ll be missing his Playstation for a couple of weeks.” I said with a chuckle. I looked up at him and his eyes were smoldering. He leaned down, ever so slowly and brushed his lips to mine. I sighed deeply as he pulled back and smiled. “I think I like that sound.” He whispered huskily pulling me closer to him as I laid my head against his chest. “I think I like what caused it.” I whispered back, I didn‟t have to look up to know that he was smiling. I could feel it in the way he held me. “Let‟s go love birds! I ain‟t got all day!” Emmett huffed as he started cleaning off the grill. Edward let out a long breath and then released me. “I have to work tonight but I‟d like to see you tomorrow. Are you free for breakfast?” I nodded.

“Yeah, I‟m free.” “Great, how about you bring Seth over around nine?” I smiled and nodded. “Sure, are you cooking?” He looked at me like I had grown two heads and I laughed at his expression. “Not unless you want to end up in the hospital.” He chuckled. “There‟s a great restaurant downtown.” I smiled as I helped Alice break down the canopy. “That‟ll be great.” I said as we wrapped everything up. Alice pretended not to listen to our exchange but it was evident in the small smile that played at her lips that she caught every word. Edward walked me to my car and helped me in, leaning on the door he looked down at me. “Until tomorrow.” He said and gave me a peck on the lips before closing the door. As I pulled out of the driveway, Seth decided to voice his opinion. “So are you going to make me and Tony brothers now?” I had to smile at his childlike determination. “That‟s a little fast there buddy.” I commented. “I know but I really want a brother. I guess I‟ll put up with a sister if I can have a brother.” I couldn‟t contain the laughter that bubbled up inside of me. If only it were as easy as he made it sound.

~*~

Chapter 13 Breakfast and the Beach Edward Cullen My phone blared in my ear, waking me too early from a fitful sleep. I groaned and reached over to the bedside table, groping for the offending object. When I couldn‟t find it I slowly opened one eye and groaned again when the clock said 6:32. Who the hell would be calling this early? I snagged the phone from behind the clock and flipped it open. “What?” I grumbled, sinking back into the soft down pillow. “Edward, I need to talk to you before Bella comes over.” Alice‟s to perky voice flitted through the phone. “And you couldn‟t wait until a decent hour to do that. Come on Ally,” I whined, rolling over onto my back. “I didn‟t get home from work until almost three and then I had to take the babysitter home.” “I‟m sorry Edward, I should have stayed with the kids last night, it‟s just…” “No Alice, I‟m sorry, I‟m just tired. What did you need to talk about?” I interrupted before she could berate herself for having a normal life.

“Liz.” “What about her?” I asked, pulling myself up to keep from going back to sleep. I was starting to get worried from the tone in her voice. “Did Bella mention what happened yesterday with Liz?” My worry increased as her question held a hint of apprehension. “No, what happened?” “She probably didn‟t want to cause any more problems with Liz...” “Alice, what happened?” I said cutting her off, my patience starting to slip with each word that she uttered. “Don‟t be mad at Bella, for not telling you. Liz wasn‟t very nice to her and she probably didn‟t want you to get mad at her.” “Alice.” I growled, wanting her to get to the point. “She snapped at Bella yesterday.” Alice said quietly. “What do you mean she snapped at Bella?” I already knew the answer to that question but I needed to know how bad it was. “Bella asked her how she was enjoying the carnival and Liz said that she wasn‟t so Bella was making suggestions to cheer her up but Liz accused her of trying to replace Tanya and then Liz told Bella to go away.” Alice said in a rush. I groaned and ran my hand over my face, trying to clear the sleep and calm my frustration. “How did she take it?” I asked, dreading the answer. “Bella was stunned but she handled it fine. The hot dogs however, didn‟t make it.” Alice said with a small giggle, trying to divert my mood. I thought back to after we had taken the team pictures and how I noticed that there was something off in the way that Bella looked when we returned. She never said anything so I assumed it was her frustration with grilling, but the real reason is being laid out before me now. “Thanks for letting me know Ally.” I said still somewhat dazed by this new turn of events. “Did you say anything to Elizabeth?” “No, she kind of dropped her nasty bomb and then took off. Honestly, I was more worried about how Bella would handle one of Liz‟s outbursts than I was of Liz. I don‟t know that talking to Liz about this will help anything. If you‟re going to be seeing Bella, Liz is going to have to come to terms with it on her own. If you confront her she‟s going to take a defensive stance and then she won‟t hear a word that you say.” Stubborn child. „I don‟t know, Alice.” I said with a long sigh. “If I talk to Elizabeth about what she did she‟ll want to know what‟s going on with Bella and I just don‟t know what to say to her yet. I like Bella, but this is all new.” I ran my fingers through my hair and then let my head flop back onto the headboard. “A nine year old couldn‟t possibly grasp the complications of beginning a relationship, and I want to keep the kids out of this until I know what‟s going on myself.”

“So you‟re not going to say anything to Liz?” “No…Yes. Damn.” I swore at the dilemma I was facing. “What do I do? Just let her say whatever hateful thing pops into her head. I won‟t let her treat anyone like that, especially not Bella, but then again, if I say something it brings up all kinds of questions I‟m not ready to answer.” “If you bring it up it might even make her angrier at Bella.” Alice added, opening my eyes to another problem that could come about if I talked to her. “I think she‟ll come around but it‟s going to take some time and it‟ll probably get worse before it gets better.” The last thing I wanted was for Elizabeth to resent Bella. I groaned out loud, wanting to bury my head under the pillow and pretend this phone call had not happened. “Are you okay, Edward? What are you going to do?” “I don‟t know yet. Thanks for giving me a heads up but I gotta go, you‟ve given me a lot to think about.” “I‟m sorry, Edward.” Alice whispered before we said our goodbyes. I snapped the phone closed and sank further into the pillows. Is this worth the heartache that dating Bella is inevitably going to cause Elizabeth? I thought back to my date with Bella and the kiss at the carnival. I wasn‟t ready to give Bella up yet. I want to see where this can go. I felt selfish for even thinking of my own needs before my daughters but Elizabeth‟s animosity towards Bella was irrational. I just need to find a way to make her see that Bella is a good person and that there is room for her in our lives. I laid there for about an hour, going over every scenario in my mind. I finally came to the conclusion that the best way to deal with Elizabeth is to not push her to submit to my demands. I had seen first hand her stubborn side on many occasions and in every instance if I forced her to do something she didn‟t want to do it got worse. I can‟t make her like Bella, but I can give her opportunities to get to know her better and when she does she‟ll see what I see. I was so deep in thought that I didn‟t hear Anthony come into my room. “Hey Slugger.” I greeted as I pulled back the covers for him to climb in bed with me. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and curled up next to me, laying his head on my shoulder. He lay so still that I thought he had fallen back asleep until he spoke. “It‟s toon time.” He said as he pointed to the remote control sitting on the nightstand. I chuckled and reached over for the remote. “We only have an hour before Bella and Seth come over.” I said, pushing the wild curls away from his face. He looked up at me and smiled his excitement. “What‟re we doing?” “Well, I thought we could go get some breakfast and then go down to the beach.” “Are you going to teach me how to surf now? I bet Seth will want to learn. Do you think his mom will want to learn too?” I chuckled at his enthusiasm. “No we aren‟t going surfing today and Seth‟s mom doesn‟t strike me as the surfing type.” Tony frowned as I squashed his plans to get back out in the waves. Unfortunately, with my work schedule we had only gone out once since he got his board for Christmas and to be honest, I missed it. “Don‟t worry, we‟ll go soon.” I promised. That seemed to placate him for the moment so he turned his attention to the television. “Tony?”

“Hmm?” “Are you okay with me taking Seth‟s mom out on dates?” “Uh….yes!” He said excitedly. “I like her a lot. She‟s really nice and if you married her then Seth could share my room.” I chuckled at his one track mind, wondering if he would be as eager to marry me off if Bella didn‟t have a son that was his best friend. A few minutes later Elizabeth came shuffling in wearing her oversized bunny slippers. She kicked them off beside the bed and climbed in on the other side of me. “Hey sweetheart.” I said as she leaned over and placed a kiss on my cheek. “Hi Daddy.” She said as she snuggled into the pillows and turned to watch whatever silliness Tony had changed the TV to. “We need to get ready to go to breakfast.” I said as I tickled Tony, earning a loud laugh. He quickly jumped out of bed and was out of site in a flash. “Where are we going?” Liz asked as she helped me make my bed. I knew that the best way to let her know that we were going to have breakfast with Bella and Seth was to do it quickly, kind of like ripping off a Band-Aid. “Bella and Seth will be here pretty soon and I thought we could all go to Katy‟s place.” I watched her carefully, looking for any sign of the rage that was always bubbling under the surface. She stopped and looked at me with sad eyes before she went back to fluffing the pillow and laying it on the bed. I had been ready for her attack but it didn‟t come. Instead she acted like I didn‟t say a word. “Liz?” She looked at me expectantly. “Are you okay with going out to breakfast with Bella and Seth?” She looked down at the floor for a moment before she spoke. “Yeah Daddy, I‟m okay with it.” I could tell that there was something going on in her brain but she wasn‟t letting me in. As long as she can be civil I guess that‟s all I could hope for. I walked around the bed and sat on the edge, taking her gently in my arms. “Bella is a good friend, sweetheart.” I said as I smoothed out her hair down her back. I felt her nod against my chest. I left it at that, not wanting to push her any further. I sent Liz on her way to get dressed and then hopped in the shower. The warm water running across my body was relaxing and I let my mind drift to the beautiful brunette that occupied my mind as of late. Remembering her soft body pressed up to mine and even though it was not a private moment thanks to Emmett, it was still perfect in that she was mine for those few seconds. She had fully given herself over to me and I to her. It felt strange thinking of someone as mine, but I definitely wanted that again. Her soft lips seemed to fit perfectly with mine and when her fingers tangled into my hair, I forgot about where we were and got lost in her touch. I pulled myself out of my little daydream and glanced down at myself, shaking my head. The mere thought of her sent my body into teenager mode. I had half a mind to do something about the erection I was now sporting but instead turned around into the water and turned it as cold as I could stand. It immediately did the trick. I climbed out of the shower and quickly got dressed in a pair of jeans and a blue button down shirt, rolling the sleeves up to my elbows.

“They're here! They're here!” Anthony ran into my room doing a complete circle around the open space and then was out the door. I chuckled at his enthusiasm and felt a pang of it myself as I descended the stairs. Anthony and Seth raced passed me an up to his room. “We‟re leaving in ten minutes so don‟t make a mess.” I yelled up the stairs as they hit the landing. “Don‟t worry dad! I‟m just showing Seth my baseball card collection.” He said excitedly as I heard the door close behind them. I could hear Liz in her room, her stereo playing Hannah Montana as she sung along and I suddenly felt very nervous. I knew that Bella was alone downstairs and in a moment we would be alone. I took a deep breath and quickly made it down the rest of the stairs. I looked into the kitchen as I walked by and she wasn‟t in there so I concluded that she must be in the Living Room. I walked into the room and she was standing in front of the fireplace, she had picked up a frame and was studying one of the pictures that were on the mantle. I propped myself up against the door frame and watched as she closely studied the picture and then placed it carefully back on the mantle, and then reached for another one. She reverently skimmed her fingers across the photo and then placed it back where she had found it. “Good morning beautiful.” She jumped at the sound of my voice and whipped around quickly, shock written all over her face. “I‟m so sorry, I was just…” She started but then noticed my smile and stopped her apology. I pushed myself off of the door frame and walked over beside her to see which pictures had captured her attention. The last picture she had picked up was a picture of me and the kids. I smiled and reached for it. “This one was taken about a year ago. Alice had been determined to get recent pictures taken to put in a scrapbook for my parents for Christmas. Anthony was being a pill that day and didn‟t want to have his picture taken which ended with Alice throwing the biggest tantrum I have ever seen.” I said with a chuckle. I set the frame back down and looked down at her smiling face. “I can‟t imagine.” Bella said with a smile. “Oh, you‟d be surprised what Alice would go through to get her way.” “No, I didn‟t mean Alice. I can picture her doing whatever necessary to make sure she got her way. I meant Anthony being a pill.” “He‟s no angel. He‟s got a little bit of his mother in him.” “Is this her?” Bella asked softly as she picked up the other picture that she was holding when I came in. I looked at the photo and smiled. “Yeah, that‟s Tanya. We had that picture taken for our fifth anniversary.” I said, feeling a little awkward at the topic of our conversation. “She‟s very pretty.” Bella whispered softly. “Liz looks a lot like her.” “Yes, it‟s hard not to look at Elizabeth and not remember her mother.” I said honestly, wondering how she would take it. She smiled at up at me and I didn‟t know what to do. How could I go from talking about Tanya to wanting to take this woman into my arms?

“What happened?” Bella whispered quietly. I watched as she set the picture back on the mantle as I tried to form the words that I had only said out loud a few times. Seeing my hesitation, Bella laid her hand on my arm. “It‟s okay Edward. If you don‟t want to talk about it, I understand.” She said quickly, trying to ease the tension that fell in the room. “No, it‟s okay.” I said quietly, hearing the crack in my voice. I cleared my throat before speaking. “It was a car accident. A drunk driver hit the passenger side of our car, severing her seatbelt.” Bella covered her mouth, trying to catch the gasp that had escaped. “I am so sorry.” She said when she pulled her hand away. I gave her a faint smile and took her hand. She squeezed it softly and I looked into her eyes and saw nothing but compassion. “It must have been so hard on you and your children to have her so suddenly taken from you. Death of someone you love is never easy but that…” She trailed off and I watched as a single tear escaped her eye. Before I could think about what I was doing, I cupped her face with my hand and wiped her tear away with my thumb. She stared up at me with her beautiful doe eyes and I didn‟t feel the hurt that usually follows a conversation about Tanya. All I felt was a pull, to be closer to her. I dipped my head down, never breaking contact with her eyes as my lips brushed up against hers. Our lips parted and I felt her shudder under my touch. I wanted nothing more than to make her do it again. My hand that was on her cheek moved into her hair as I pulled her closer, letting my eyes slide closed as her eyelashes fluttered upon her cheek. I kissed her deeply, opening my mouth and letting her warm, wet tongue explore mine. The hand that was holding hers slid around her arm until it was wrapped around the small of her back pressing her tightly to me. In the back of my mind I heard the pitter patter of small feet on the wooden floor and then a small giggle, but I was so caught up with the woman I had pressed up against me that I didn‟t acknowledge the presence of someone else until there was a distinct sound of someone clearing their throat. I pulled away and opened my eyes. Bella‟s eyes were still closed and she looked as if she was still reaching towards me. I smiled at the fact that she was so into our kiss that she hadn‟t heard the intrusion either. Her eyes popped open at the sound of another body clearing their throat, a small blush rising to her cheeks. We both looked over to the doorway where Anthony and Seth had their hands covering their mouth, trying to hold in the giggles, while they held each other up from their hysterics. I smiled wider at their reaction and then pointed up the stairs. “Go get your sister, we need to go. I‟m starving.” I told Anthony quickly. “I could tell by the way you were eating off my mom‟s face.” Seth said with a slightly disgusted look. Bella and I started laughing at his observation and then he was flying up the stairs after Anthony. “That was awkward.” Bella mumbled when they were out of site. I turned and smiled down at her placing a chaste kiss on her lips. “Yeah, a little. However, they need to get used to it because I don‟t think I can keep my hands off of you.” I was entranced as her pale skin turned to a deep red at my remark. Then she poked me hard in the chest, causing me to rub the spot tenderly. “You better try.” She said with a sly glint in her eye. “I‟m not ready to have the birds and the bees talk with my son yet.” She said playfully as she walked back into the entryway to wait for the kids, leaving me standing stunned by the fireplace. I think I know where Seth got his quick wit from.

The kids came barreling down the stairs and Seth missed the last stair sending him spiraling hard to the hardwood floor. Bella quickly was at his side as Seth sat up and shook his head. I knelt down next to him and started to go into doctor mode when Bella started asking him questions. “Are you hurt?” She said slightly alarmed. He stared at her for a moment blinking before he shook his head. “Did you hit your head?” He shook his head again. “What hurts?” Bella asked and I could feel her anxiety rising. I laid my hand on her shoulder to calm her down as Seth shook his head again. “I think I‟m okay.” Seth finally answered in a somewhat stunned voice. I reached over and poked around his ankle making sure that he didn‟t twist anything on the way down. When he didn‟t wince I held out my hand and helped him up. Bella was finally convinced that he was alright when he took a few steps, she let out a slow breath and smiled at him. “Alright Oste Sumanitu Taka, let‟s go” Bella said teasingly. Seth glared at her before walking out the garage door and towards my car. Liz, looked at Bella with curiosity and I could tell that she wanted to ask her what that meant but instead she hurried down the stairs after Anthony and Seth. “What does that mean?” I whispered in her ear as she passed me. She let out a small chuckle and then stopped to tell me, not wanting to embarrass her son anymore than she already had. “Seth‟s father is Quileute, which is a Native American tribe on the Olympic Peninsula so he and several of the council nicknamed him clumsy wolf because he get‟s his grace from me.” She smiled wider. “Usually he doesn‟t mind his nickname but from the look I just got I think that he might have changed his mind.” “Don‟t worry.” I said as I zipped my lip. “Your secret is safe with me.” The drive to the restaurant was loud and boisterous as Tony replayed every inning of the last World Series. “I think I need to get him into another hobby before his mind bursts with Baseball Stats.” I leaned over and whispered to Bella when I opened her door. She laughed lightly as I took her hand and helped her out of the car. When she was out, I opened Liz‟s door and held my hand out to her. She smiled sweetly up at me as she took my hand and I had a moment of hope that things were going to be alright. “There‟s my princess.” I whispered in her ear when she was completely out of the car, earning a small giggle. I took her by the hand and we all walked up the small walkway and into the quaint little restaurant. It was like walking into someone‟s home, but more open. We were greeted and then sat outside on the patio since it was a beautiful spring day. Tony and Seth were still chatting about baseball but it had turned to our team and the hopes that they had of winning All Stars again this season. “Bella?” My little girl squeaked and then looked up with innocent eyes. I couldn‟t help but tense, and wonder what she was going to say next. “I‟m sorry about yesterday.” Liz quietly said as her eyes went to her lap. I blew out the breath that I didn‟t know that I had been holding as I stared at my daughter. “It‟s okay Liz.” Bella said with a kind smile. I reached under the table and squeezed her hand before deciding to

play dumb. “What happened yesterday?” I asked looking at Elizabeth and then at Bella. Liz looked up slightly shocked that I didn‟t know what was going on as I continued to hold her gaze. “Just a misunderstanding.” Bella said off handedly saving Elizabeth from having to answer. I squeezed her hand again as I watched Liz look over at Bella and smile. Maybe things were going to be okay. “So what‟s good on the menu?” Bella asked as she scanned over the breakfast items. “The Berry Waffles are me and Tony‟s favorite.” Liz said helpfully. Bella nodded her head and continued to roam the menu. “There are sixteen different types of Eggs Benedict or there are their blintzes that are pretty amazing.” I said as I sat down my menu. Bella chuckled softly. “What?” I asked as her giggles kept coming. “Is there anywhere on the Peninsula you haven‟t eaten?” She asked with a smirk. “Probably not. I‟m not a very good cook.” I sheepishly said. “He‟s not joking. He once had the…” “Alright that‟s enough little man.” I growled at Tony before he got into the details of the many disasters I had created in the kitchen. By this time Bella was laughing hard. “I guess I‟ll have to come over and give you cooking lessons.” She teased as her and Elizabeth laughed together. “Or…you could just come over and cook every night.” I suggested before I thought about the way that would sound. She smiled wider at me and nodded her head. “Or there is always that.” She smiled at me over the rim of her glass. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Breakfast flew by and it felt nice to have the witty banter of a female companion besides my sister. Bella was engaging and always included the children in her conversation, always talking to them and not at them like I had seen some mothers do. I watched as she chatted with Liz about Alice‟s wedding preparations and her friends from school, always seeming accepting of her ideas. But what really struck me was that she really listened to her and was interested in what she was saying. We all piled back into the car and headed back towards my home. “What‟s the plan now?” Bella asked and I felt a small thrill knowing that she wanted to spend more time with me and the kids. “Well, I thought we could go down to the beach, maybe let the kids play in the ocean.” I suggested. “Please mom! Can we go?” I glanced at Seth in the rear view mirror and he had big puppy dog eyes trained on his mother and a pout that gave Alice a run for her money.

“Yeah, but we should run home and get your wetsuit, that water is freezing. Maybe you should take us back to your house and I can grab my car.” “Seth can use one of Tony‟s.” I said with a frown, not wanting to be away from her. “I was thinking about grabbing Buddy, he loves the beach and he needs to get out and run.” She countered. I nodded my head. “Sure. I‟ll get the kids ready while you get Buddy.” I reiterated the plan, still not liking her leaving. We arrived at the house and Alice‟s car was in the driveway. The kids bolted up the stairs and scurried to get ready for a day at the beach. Bella and I walked in behind them to see Alice perched up against the counter sipping a cup of coffee. She gave us a bright smile in greeting. “So how was Katy‟s?” She asked, turning her attention back to her mug. “Mmmmm, it was fantastic. Their blintzes are amazing.” Bella purred and I felt a twinge race through my body. “How did you know we were at Katy‟s” I asked, knowing that I didn‟t tell her where we were going. She rolled her eyes and then pointed at me. “Creature of habit.” She said and then smirked at Bella. “He finds what he likes and he doesn‟t waver from it.” Bella turned and smiled widely at me and I found myself grinning like a fool at the attention she was giving me. “I hope so.” Bella said tartly, earning a laugh from my sister. “I should go get Buddy.” Bella said reluctantly and I turned quickly to Alice. “Are you going to be here for a little while?” She nodded her head. “Yeah, I don‟t need to be at work for another couple of hours. Why?” “Do you mind watching the kids for a few minutes while Bella and I go get her dog?” Alice smiled wider and shook her head. “Not at all, take your time.” She said with a wink and I hoped that Bella didn‟t catch it. “Thanks Ally.” I said as I took Bella‟s arm and led her out to my car. “We should take my car. You don‟t want my hairy dog on your leather seats.” “It‟s not a problem Bella, I have a blanket in the back.” I assured her as we slipped into my car and headed towards her house. “I wanted to say thank you.” Bella whispered and I gave her a side ways glance to let her know that I didn‟t know what she was talking about. “About what?” “Well, I figured Alice told you about what happened yesterday with Liz.” I nodded my head.

“She did.” I affirmed. “But you let me be the good guy and not snitch her out. I didn‟t say anything to you yesterday because I didn‟t want you to talk to her about it and possibly make things worse between her and I.” She twisted her hands in her lap, nervous over how I would take her keeping the fight from me. “I really want her to like me but I know that it‟s going to be hard. She misses her mother terribly.” I nodded my head in agreement and suddenly felt a stronger pull towards her for caring about Elizabeth‟s feelings. I reached over and took her hand. “I thought about that when Alice told me what happened. I don‟t want her talking to you the way she did again.” I glanced over at her and she was watching my face intently. “Please let me know if it happens again, we can decide the best way to handle it but I don‟t want you to ever think that it‟s okay for her to say those things.” I said as I squeezed her hand gently in mine. “She may be hurt over her mother but that doesn‟t give her the right to treat anyone the way she treated you.” I watched out of the corner of my eye as she nodded her head. “I think things went rather well today.” She said in a cheerful voice. I nodded my agreement as we pulled into her driveway. She jumped out of the car before I could turn off the engine and was running quickly into her house. I got out and pulled the blanket I kept for emergencies out of the trunk and laid it in the backseat. Buddy barreled out of the house and jumped happily in the backseat when I opened the door. A few minutes later Bella came out of the house and walked over to me as I held the door open for her. She snaked her arm around my waist and stood up on her tip toes, kissing a line across my jaw. I pulled her closer, liking the familiarity that we seemed to have developed over the last 24 hours. She pulled away and smiled up at me. “Are you ready to go?” I groaned loudly and let go of her. “I‟d rather stay here at let Alice take the kids to the beach.” I said hopeful that she would go with my idea. She laughed and shook her head. “Not going to happen and you know it.” She said as she slid into her seat. I let out another frustrated groan and closed her door. As I walked around the car an interesting looking older lady was walking towards us, waving her hand in the air to get our attention. I opened my door and looked over at Bella and she smiled widely at me. “That‟s Jan. Show her how charming you can be.” She said with a wink. I turned around to greet the woman coming towards me. “Hello.” She said in a thick English accent. “And who might you be, handsome?” I smiled at her and offered my hand in greeting. She reached out with her palm down so I took her hand and brought it to my lips. “Dr. Cullen ma‟am.” I said with a drawl like Jasper always did when he was playing up the gentleman. She stood wide eyed and then fanned herself with her hand. “Oh my... I‟m Jan.” She introduced and then leaned down to look at Bella in the car. “You sure know how to pick them, my dear.” I stifled a chuckle as she spoke as if I wasn‟t there to here their exchange.

“I know.” Bella played along. “He‟s pretty handsome, isn‟t he?” “Dear, if I was thirty years younger you‟d have a fight on your hands.” Jan quipped and then turned to me. “Do you know your way around a Winchester?” “A what?” “A Winchester, you know… a rifle?” “Uh…yes.” I said cautiously not knowing what she meant. “I‟m from Alaska and we went hunting every fall.” Jan placed the back of her hand against her forehead and acted like she was going to swoon. I reached my hands out, hoping to catch her before she went down. A broken hip on a woman of her age could kill her. Instead, she reached over and grabbed me by both of my cheeks pulling me down to her level and planted a big sloppy kiss on my forehead, letting me go as she waved goodbye to us. I stood there for a moment stunned by what had just happened. Bella‟s giggle brought me out of my dazed encounter. “What was that?” I asked as Bella continued her hysterical laugh. “Foreplay.” She giggled out before throwing her head back and laughed until she snorted, earning a chuckle from me when she covered her mouth and tried to calm down. I shook my head and pulled out of the driveway. We reached my home with three anxious children waiting for us to arrive so we could go down to the beach. Buddy tore through the house and chased Alice around the table before Bella called him to sit. “He‟s almost as big as I am, but he‟s so sweet.” She told Bella when she realized that Buddy wouldn‟t hurt her. She cautiously came up and scratched him behind the ears. “I‟m more of a lap dog kind of gal.” She said as she waved us out the door. The kids sprinted down to the ocean as Bella and I shouted out the reminders of playing safely in the water. We watched Seth, Tony and Liz as they played in the surf and then came out shivering only to run back in a few minutes later. Eventually they ended up on the beach making forts and sandcastles out of the sand. Bella and I sat further up the beach on the dry sand talking about anything that popped into our mind. I found that the more astute her answers were the more I wanted to take her in my arms. I fought the urge for most of the afternoon until the sun slowly dipped in the horizon. We had been quietly watching the sun descend and Bella let out a long sigh. I turned to face her with a questioning glance. “What?” I asked as a small smile played at her lips. “It was this time of day when I met you the first time.” She looked over her shoulder and pointed a ways down the beach. “Right over there.” “What were you thinking when we met?” She asked quietly. “You looked almost sad.” I shook my head and then looked at her. “What were you thinking?” I countered and watched as a slight blush came over her face. “I was getting away from my ex-husband. We got in an argument because Buddy bit him so my dad sent me to take Buddy for a run until I cooled down.”

“So I‟ll have to give Buddy a big bone.” I said teasingly. Bella looked up at me, smiling sweetly and I had been so patient all day that I couldn‟t wait a second longer. I leaned towards her and kissed her mouth softly. She pulled away after a moment and looked down at the sand. “I also was bummed that you were married.” She looked over at my hand and then up into my eyes. “You took off your wedding ring.” She whispered to my questioning gaze. I nodded my head. “I did.” “Why?” She asked softly. “It was time.” I answered looking down at my bare ring finger. We sat there in comfortable silence as we took in the last of the sinking sun. “What were you thinking when you met me?” Bella asked curiously. I chuckled and thought that it was probably best to keep some of those thoughts to myself. “Well…” I began, trying to stall for some time to get my thought in order. “I thought that I needed to get a dog.” I said honestly. She smacked my shoulder and I chuckled, knowing that that was not what she wanted to hear. “What? It was.” I defended. “I didn‟t recognize that it was you that made me smile. I thought it was just Buddy.” “But you now recognize that it was me all along, right?” She said, giving me an out for the foot in mouth remark. “Of course, I said kissing her lightly on the nose.” She smiled and then became shy again. I could never read how she would react from one moment to the next, she always had me guessing. “What were you doing, by yourself?” She asked and I found that I wanted to tell her why I was on the beach that evening. “It was Tanya and my anniversary and the anniversary of her death.” I said quietly, hoping that that was enough explanation for my dismal appearance that evening. She took in a long breath and let it out slowly. “That must have been a hard day.” She said as I nodded. “Yeah, it was pretty hard. Liz and I got in an argument and Tony wanted to watch the video from our wedding. I just had to get out of the house for a little bit.” I admitted. After a few moments I felt her warm body press up against my side as her arm went around my waist and her head rested on my shoulder. We didn‟t say anything else as we watched the children play and then the sun set in the horizon. I held her hand loosely as I walked her down to her car. Seth was already buckled into when she turned back towards me. “Thank you for a beautiful day.” She said softly. “I enjoyed getting to know you and your kids a little more.” “Me too.” I said as I opened her door. She started to get in but then paused and turned back around. “Edward, I want you to know that I understand if this is moving too fast for you. I know that you have been through a lot over the last few years and I…” I pressed my lips to hers, cutting her off. I pulled back enough to whisper against her mouth.

“Bella, I don‟t regret what is happening between us. Please don‟t feel like you need to give me an out. I‟m exactly where I want to be.” She urgently pressed her lips against mine and I responded, wanting her to understand in that kiss how much I wanted to be with her. She quickly pulled away and slid into her seat. “I‟ll see you tomorrow.” She said before I closed her door. I stood in my driveway and watched as she drove away, wondering how I was going to make it through the day tomorrow until I saw her again.

~*~

Chapter 14 Accidents Happen Bella Swan-Black I was rushing from work to make it to the first game of the season. Edward had been helping Seth pitch, but yesterday had let me know that he wasn‟t quite ready yet. I was almost relieved because I didn‟t know how I would handle watching the pressure being put on him. Seth, on the other hand, was quite disappointed. I found a parking place and jumped out of the car and rushed to the bleachers just as the first pitch was thrown by the other team. I spotted Alice and Elizabeth sitting on the far side, close to the dugout so went to join them. “How was work?” Alice asked as she handed me a diet Coke out of a small cooler. “It was work. I love my job, but I hate smelling like fish all the time.” Alice leaned closer to me and wrinkled her nose as she sniffed. “You‟re fine.” She reassured as we watched one of our boys hit a fly ball into left field. The outfielder caught it easy as the umpire called an out. I looked over at Liz and smiled. She returned it with a small wave. “How was school, Elizabeth?” She rolled her eyes and then launched into a tale of a three way friend fight that had none of them speaking at lunch but then everything was fine by the end of the day. While I listened to her, I found myself being thankful that I had a boy. If they had a problem that a sock in the nose wouldn‟t solve it was rare. The drama and hatefulness that some girls could stir up was baffling. “Anthony‟s up next.” Alice clapped and we all cheered him on. He got in such a low squat that I couldn‟t understand how he could whip the bat around so fast. I leaned over to Alice, hoping that she had a little more baseball knowledge than I did. “Why is he squatting like that? Some of the other boys barely bend their knees.” I asked quietly. “It makes the strike zone smaller. The pitcher has to concentrate more on getting the ball in between his knees and shoulders.” I nodded my understanding. It was obvious by watching Tony that he really got into the game and a little surprising that there was so much strategy that went behind it. I just thought it was go up, hit the ball, run around the bases. Apparently, I had a lot to learn. There was a loud crack as Tony connected the bat to the ball, sending it flying over the heads of the outfielders. I watched as his little legs tore around first base, then second base. As he came towards third I saw Edward

standing by the third base line shouting for Tony to get down. Anthony went down into a slide and his foot hit the base just before the baseman had caught the ball. “Safe!” The umpire yelled, making a clearing motion with both hands. Anthony and Edward grinned widely as Tony stood up and brushed the dirt from pants, giving his father a high five. “That‟s called a triple. When the hitter makes it to first it‟s a single and second would be a double.” I nodded as she rattled of the terminology to me. As I looked back at Edward his gaze was trained on me and I couldn‟t help but smile at the intensity I felt between us. He winked at me and gave me a small wave before turning his attention back to Anthony. I heard a small giggle beside me and turned to see Alice bouncing happily in her seat. She leaned over, not wanting Liz to hear what she had to say. “You guys are too cute.” She whispered and then went back to bouncing. Next up to bat was James. I growled internally and then scolded myself for having ill feelings towards a child. He got up to bat and swung at the first pitch, missing it by a mile. “What‟s wrong with you?! It was over your head! Watch the damn ball, James!” I couldn‟t believe that an adult could be so rude. I turned around to see who was speaking only to find his own father berating him. I missed watching the next pitch but knew that he missed it again when I heard Mike groan and then go off on another tirade. I shook my head and turned back around, catching Alice‟s disgusted expression. James hit the next pitch, a low grounder to the short stop, but the player didn‟t throw the ball to first, he just stood there looking back and forth from James to Tony. “Why didn‟t he throw the ball?” I asked Alice, confused by the standoff. “He did the right thing. If he would have thrown it to first base, Tony would have run home.” My head was spinning at all of the tactics that were involved in the game. It definitely wasn‟t what I expected. The next player struck out, leaving two outs with Tony on third and James on first. Seth was up to bat and I held my breath. It seemed like so much pressure to put on a little boy. “Come on Seth! Bring me home!” Anthony called out from third base. Seth took a deep breath and let it out before getting into position. I couldn‟t believe that it was my child standing in front of me with a bat in his hand. His stance mirrored Tony‟s and he looked confident. I had missed all of the practices because of work and hadn‟t realized how much he had learned over the last few weeks. The pitch was thrown and he swung only to tip the ball and send it flying behind the umpire. “Foul Ball!” The ump called. “It‟s okay Seth! You got a piece of it!” Emmett called out from the first base line. Then I heard the boys in the dugout start cheering, encouraging him on. Seth squared his shoulders and then dropped back into his stance. I vaguely heard Edward‟s encouragement when the next pitch was thrown and he connected solidly with the ball, sending it flying to out field. I couldn‟t help myself as I stood up and cheered loudly as he passed first base and slid into second, sending not only Tony but James home, too. The rest of the game wasn‟t half as exciting as watching Seth have a victory in the first inning. He beamed the rest of the game, not even letting the fact that he wasn‟t pitching effect his mood. I couldn‟t help compare the way Edward was with the boys to the way the other coaches were. I wondered if it

was only because we were winning but after a while I realized that the boys just loved him, they wanted to do well just to make him proud. They had won the game by a landslide and Edward and Emmett pulled the boys together to have their after game rally. I came up as close as I could to listen, without intruding. “There was a lot of good baseball out there today.” Edward began as the boys all nodded their heads in agreement. “We had some nice plays and James and Tony did a great job at pitching.” “Now every game we give out a game ball to the most valuable player.” Emmett cut in, holding up a baseball. “I think it‟s only fitting that the first ball of the season goes to a new player. Never played baseball before stepping foot on this field.” Emmett looked around to each boy before continuing. “He started off our game right and we played on the momentum that he built with his double, bringing in two runs.” I smiled to myself, as I looked over at Seth who just figured out that it was him. His eyes were huge and a small smile played at his lips. “Seth! Good job.” Emmett said as he tossed the ball to my son. His face lit up with a huge grin. They broke up the team and Seth ran over to me holding his new prized possession. “Look mom! I got the game ball!” I felt Edward‟s warm breath on my neck as he snaked his arms around my waist and propped his chin on my shoulder. “He earned it.” Edward said and I felt him grin. He placed a kiss on my cheek and pulled away. “I‟ve got to work tomorrow afternoon so we‟re going to skip pitching practice, but Alice said she‟d still keep the kids until you get off work.” I smiled and took his hand in mine, swinging it slightly. “Are you busy tonight?” I asked, hoping that we could spend some more time together. “Unfortunately, yes. I work tonight and with the exception of tomorrow I work double shifts for the rest of the week.” I saw regret clearly in his eyes. “That‟s okay.” I whispered, disappointed myself. “Coach Cullen? Can I speak to you?” I turned to see the blond Barbie from Seth‟s class purr at Edward. I felt my back stiffen as she smiled at me innocently. I suddenly had the urge to rip her hair out as I remembered her comments about him when I met her. I looked back at Edward and his brow was creased, he looked at me and I saw dread in his eyes which made me feel a little better. “Yes, Mrs. Crowley. Give me a moment, please.” “Edward, I‟ve told you before, please call me Lauren.” He gave her a curt nod and then turned back to me. “I‟m sorry. I‟ll call you later.” He said with a small smile and I pulled on his jersey, ready to mark my territory. He grinned at me and bent down, giving me a slow kiss, not heated like we‟ve shared in the past but one that let anyone know who was watching that we were an item. He pulled away and smiled down at me, placing another single chaste kiss on my lips before turning towards Lauren. She gave me a snide look and then smiled brilliantly at Edward as she threaded her arm in his and started talking animatedly about the game. “Seth, let‟s go.” I called as I headed towards the car. We were headed home when I started asking Seth how his

day went. “Coach made Tony and me go apologize to James and his parents for the other day.” He said with a small pout. I looked back at him and his arms were crossed over his chest. “And, how did that go?” I asked, thankful that Edward took care of that situation. I don‟t know that I could have done it and kept my temper in check. “She was pretty mad. Saying stuff about being a little criminal. She wasn‟t half as mean to Tony. Which is okay with me but still.” I‟m sure she wasn‟t, I thought sarcastically. Can‟t sleep with the coach if you‟re a bitch to his son. I let out a long sigh. “Next time you‟ll think twice about pulling pranks on people.” I said, not wanting to rant about Jessica in front of Seth or he might think it was okay to do something like this again. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO I was distracted all day the next day. My mind continued to stray to Edward and I found that I was forgetting to do the basic things for my job. It wasn‟t until Angela pointed out my mistakes that I realized I needed to snap out of it. “What‟s up, Bella?” Angela said, hands on her hips, but a smile played on her lips. “You‟re distracted and it‟s showing in the write ups.” She handed me the paperwork that I had turned in earlier and I immediately saw the mistakes that I had made. I shook my head and set it on my desk. “I‟m sorry, Angela. I‟ve just had a lot on my mind lately.” I said apologetically. “I‟ll get these back to you in an hour.” She waved her hand at me dismissing my apology. “It‟s not a big deal, I was just concerned. Is there something wrong?” I looked up at her and saw the concern in her eyes. I smiled and shook my head, denying anything was wrong. What do I tell her? I spend every waking second daydreaming about a certain bronze hair, green eyed man? “No, nothing is wrong. I‟m just…distracted lately.” I felt a blush tinge my cheeks at my confession. It didn‟t go unnoticed. “This wouldn‟t have anything to do with Alice‟s brother, would it?” She asked as my blush deepened. I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. “Probably.” I admitted. Her grin grew as she pulled up a chair. “Alice mentioned that you were dating her brother. I‟ve met him once, he‟s extremely good looking.” I nodded my head. “Yeah, he is.” I sighed and then looked up at her as we both giggled. “Someday, I hope to meet someone that makes me forget my name like he does to you.” She laughed as she stood up and looked at her watch. “Have you fed the White Shark yet?” I glanced at the clock and cursed internally. “Crap. No. I‟ll get to it.” I stood up and headed for the Outer Bay.

“Just don‟t be so distracted that you fall in. Alice is so happy I don‟t want to be the one to tell her you got eaten.” She said with a laugh. I rolled my eyes and headed for the door. When I got up to the top of the tank I prepared the salmon and mackerel. I laughed at the thought, like I was feeding a gold fish. I sliced into the salmon and set the knife on the edge of the table. I turned to put the contents into a bucket when I lost my footing and started to slip. I grabbed at the table and that‟s when I felt the knife slice deep into the palm of my hand. I hit the floor hard, grabbing my hand instead of catching my fall. I laid there for a moment before I felt the wetness run down my hand. I didn‟t want to look because I knew it was bad. I slowly sat up, checking the rest of my body for injuries. I was going to be sore tomorrow but my hand was the more pressing issue at the time. I yanked my sweatshirt off, thankful for a t-shirt underneath, and wrapped it around my hand, still not looking at the damage. If I did I would have passed out and probably bled to death before anyone found me. I stood up and felt my head spin for a moment. When I felt like I wasn‟t going to fall down I headed for the door. I walked quickly down the steps, and into Angela‟s office. She turned around and looked at me, shock registering across her face. “Oh my! What happened?” She said as she walked quickly over to me. “I cut my hand.” I said dumbly as she quickly unwound the sweatshirt from my hand. She gasped when she saw the damage, wrapping it quickly back up. She ran over to her phone and dialed quickly. “Alice, get your car and meet me out front. You need to run Bella to the ER. She cut her hand pretty bad.” I felt a small sense of relief that they were taking care of it. I started to feel dizzy again when I noticed that the blood from my hand had soaked through the fabric of my sweatshirt. I took long steady breaths through my mouth, fighting down the urge to throw up. “Are you okay, Bella?” Angela whispered. “Do you think you can walk upstairs?” “Yeah, let‟s go. I don‟t know how long I‟ll last before I pass out.” She hurriedly pulled me up, wrapping her arm around my waist just in case I went down. She pushed open the door to the service entrance and Alice was waiting in her bright yellow Porsche. “What happened?” Alice asked frantically as she flung open the passenger door. They both got me situated in the car before I filled her in on my klutzy move. “I‟ve already called Edward. He‟ll be waiting for us at the Emergency entrance.” She looked over at me with concern in her eyes. I nodded, laying my head back on the seat and trying not to focus on the blood soaked sweatshirt. We pulled into the hospital and Alice drove right up to the Emergency doors where Edward was pacing back and forth. Before she had the car in park, Edward opened the door, scooping me out of the car and up into his arms. I was too dizzy to argue so I just laid my head against his chest as he walked quickly into the back. He laid me gently on a bed and unwound the sweatshirt. I closed my eyes tightly as he went into doctor mode working over my hand and asking me quick questions to ascertain the damage. Alice hovered in the corner, and I looked over at her and smiled, letting her know that I was okay. When Edward finally got all of the blood cleaned up he probed the area and sighed. “You‟re going to need stitches and a tetanus shot.” He said softly, looking closely at my hand. “I don‟t think you

will have any nerve damage. It looks like Seth will be doing the dishes for a few days.” He smiled up at me causing me to roll my eyes. “Yeah, that‟ll happen.” I said sarcastically making him chuckle. “I‟m going to go pick up the kids. Edward, can you bring her to the house?” Alice said as she gathered up her things and headed for the exit. “Yeah, I‟m off in a little while and we‟ve been slow so I can probably slip out early.” She nodded and then was gone. Edward numbed my hand and went to work cleaning and stitching me up. “You know…” A crooked smile spread across his face as he worked and I found myself smiling before I knew what he had to say. “If you wanted to see me today all you had to do was call. You didn‟t need to resort to such drastic measures.” He looked up at me with a twinkle in his eye and I chuckled at his remark. “So, does that mean you‟re free tonight?” I asked in my flirty voice, looking at him from under my lashes. He stared at me quietly and I had a moment of panic that maybe I had pushed to far until he smiled widely at me. “I‟m not letting your accident prone self out of my sight this evening.” He teased and I felt my heart speed up a little at the suggestion in his words. He worked quickly and before I knew it he was finished. “Eight stitches later and you‟re as good as new.” He said as he held up my hand for me to inspect his stitches. I looked down on the dark thread protruding from my hand and felt queasy. I held it back out to him. “Aren‟t you going to bandage it up?” I asked not wanting to look at it any longer. He chuckled lightly. “Yes, I just thought you‟d like to see my fine needlework.” He said with a smile, gently taking my hand in his, before wrapping it up securely. “So, what were you doing to have such a bad cut?” Edward asked as he turned around and grabbed the tetanus shot off the tray. I gulped at the size of the needle and then quickly looked away. “I was cutting up the white sharks meal when I slipped.” I said quietly, as he tied the band around my arm. “I was curious…how and what do you feed the white shark?” I looked at him, excited to share all of the new information we had obtained from being able to study her. “She has eaten salmon, mackerel, and sardines. She‟s a bit picky with what she‟ll eat so we have to supplement her diet with vitamins.” I said, forgetting completely that he was about to pierce my skin with a huge needle. “What‟s been really interesting is that with the other sharks we can put the food on a pole, kind of shish kabob style, and they will gently pluck off the food from the pole, but not with her. She gets about two feet from it and then lunges at it as though she were attacking prey.” I took a breath to continue and that‟s when I felt the gentle pinch on my arm. I looked in Edward‟s eyes not wanting to look at the needle. His green eyes looked compassionately at me before returning his gaze to what he was doing. “That sounds a little dangerous for the person holding the pole.” He commented as he pulled out the needle and replaced it with a piece of gauze and a Band Aid. I sighed in relief that it was over. “We had to create a special pole so that it wouldn‟t break off and hurt her along with adding some safety devices to keep the feeder safe.” I said with a small shrug.

“She hasn‟t taken a bite out of her other roommates?” Edward asked with a crooked smile. “Fortunately, no. The sea turtles are oblivious to her but it‟s obvious that the other animals in the exhibit are very aware of her presence.” I felt a small sense of pride in the work that I did and was thrilled that Edward was taking an interest in what I do. He stood up and took my bandaged hand in his, opening my palm and bringing it up to his mouth, he kissed over the spot that I had injured tenderly. “Please, be careful.” He whispered softly, stepping closer to me. My mind went directly to the gutter with him standing in front of me, desire in his eyes, in his white lab coat, khakis, and blue oxford shirt. I wonder if he‟d play doctor with me later. My little fantasy was stirred even more when his lips met mine. They were firm and persistent on mine and I let out a breathy sigh when his lips parted mine. “Ahem,” Edward quickly pulled away and turned towards the person who had interrupted us. I felt my cheeks grow hot, thankful that neither of them knew where my mind had gone. “Well, Dr. Sexy. It seems that you are finally living up to your nickname.” A stout older nurse with slightly graying hair said from the doorway. I looked over at Edward to see his cheeks flushed pink as if he had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. When it appeared that Edward wasn‟t going to say anything she turned to me and smiled kindly. “Hello dear, I‟m Shawna.” She said, cocking her head slightly towards Edward. “I‟m the head nurse in pediatrics but my title also includes fly swatter when it comes to Dr. Sexy here.” She said pointing a small chubby finger towards Edward. “Bella.” I introduced with a small wave of my bandaged hand. “What do you mean by fly swatter?” I inquired. “I swat all of the overly flirtatious nurses and occasionally patients away from our resident Dr. McDreamy.” She said with a chuckle and nod towards Edward. I looked over at Edward and he turned away, busying himself with the instruments on the tray but not before I saw that his cheeks had turned even redder than a moment ago. “What did you need, Shawna?” Edward mumbled out and I grinned at his obvious discomfort. “I need you to sign a chart.” Shawna said simply. “And, it couldn‟t wait until later?” Edward asked with a huff. “Nope. I also was curious about what had you tear out of pediatrics so quickly a little while ago, now I see.” She said with a smile and wink towards me. I couldn‟t help but like this spunky woman. He took the chart from Shawna and quickly scanned over it before signing it and handing it back to her. “Nice to meet you, Bella.” She said as she smirked at Edward and walked away. Edward raked his hands through his hair and sheepishly turned back to me. I grinned wider as all of the teasing remarks popped into my head. “Dr. Sexy, huh?” He rolled his eyes at my jibe and then held out his hand to me. “Let‟s go, we need to stop off at the pharmacy for some pain killers and I‟m not letting you drive until the stitches come out.” I started to argue with him but he gave me a plausible explanation.

“The cut is in the palm of your hand. If you have to grab the steering wheel you‟re going to rip them out.” End of argument. After we picked up the prescription he handed me two pills and a bottle of water and then we headed back to his house. I sat patiently as he walked around the car to open my door for me, offering his hand I stepped out. He grasped me around the waist as I wobbled from the sudden motion. “You‟re a lightweight.” He said with a chuckle and then swooped me up into his arms. The sudden movement sent my head spinning. “Maybe you should have only taken one of those pills.” His laugh rang in my ears as I felt the universe revolve around me in a blur of lights. I pressed my face into the crook of his neck, hoping that I kept the contents of my stomach where they belonged. He kissed the top of my head before quickly rushing me in and laying me gently on the sofa. I didn‟t let go of his neck so he knelt down beside me, running his fingers through my hair. “I‟m sorry, love. I should have asked if you had adverse reactions to pain meds.” I nodded my head against his chest as he gently pried my hands away. “I‟m sorry, I‟m so sleepy all of a sudden.” I whispered my apology. “It‟s alright. Rest here for a minute while I go let Alice know that we‟re here and then I‟ll see what I can do about dinner.” I nodded my head but didn‟t remember anything after that until I felt myself being moved. It was dark outside and all of the lights were off. I struggled to remember what had happened, but I couldn‟t seem to remember past the fog. “Edward?” I whispered sounding like a frog was stuck in my throat. “Shhhh, go back to sleep.” His breathy whisper blew across my neck. I felt the silky softness of expensive sheets and a few tugs at articles of clothing before my mind drifted back to the abyss.

~*~ Clarification on ages: Edward 33, Bella 31, Elizabeth 9, Anthony 7, Seth 7, Alice 31, Jasper 35, Emmett 35, Rose 33, ExR kids ?(haven’t gotten that far), Carlisle and Esme (they won’t tell)

~*~

Chapter 15 Interruptions & Panic Attacks Edward Cullen “Mmmmm. Dr. Cullen.” I heard a soft purr in my ear, waking me from a deep sleep. My eyes fluttered open and I looked down to see mahogany hair splayed across my arm. Bella was curled up against my side, sound asleep, her head lying on my shoulder with her small hand resting on my chest. I moved the pillow back carefully as I glanced at the clock on the night stand. It was still early, but I could hear the stirrings in the house as Alice made breakfast for the kids. I pondered on

whether I should get up and help her. However, having Bella in my arms, warm and comfortable, didn‟t do anything to persuade me to get up. I pushed the hair that had fallen across her forehead away so I could get a better look at her. Her compassion spoke volumes about her character. I don‟t think I have ever met anyone like her. The way that she handled Liz at breakfast the other day was enough to tell me that she was worth keeping around. She would never do anything to hurt my kids. They were my first priority and I could see Bella and Seth fitting in perfectly. “Naughty.” Bella sighed breathily into my ear. I smiled, wondering what she could be dreaming about. A small moan came from her parted lips and I thought that maybe her pain medicine was wearing off. Her hand was probably going to be hurting pretty badly when she woke up, since it was underneath her. “I didn‟t fall. The floor came up and bit me.” Bella whispered softly, cuddling closer to me and making me chuckle quietly at her silliness. I smiled, remembering her reaction to the medicine I had given her. Bella didn‟t last fifteen minutes before passing out. She slept through dinner, a rubber band war between Tony and Seth, and piano lessons. I considered letting her sleep on the couch, but leather isn‟t the most comfortable fabric to sleep on. Alice pestered me to take her to my room, but I didn‟t want to make that decision for her. It wasn‟t until Alice said she‟d pick her up herself that I relented and carried her to my room. Once Bella was laid carefully on the bed, Alice started pulling off her shoes. I turned around, making any excuse I could think of to get out of the room while Alice stripped her of her clothing. It‟s not that I didn‟t want to stay in the room, I did. It‟s that I didn‟t want Bella to feel like I took advantage of the situation. Alice came out when she had Bella changed into a pair of her pajamas so I felt it was safe to go back in. I agonized over the decision to climb in with her. I sat on the end of the bed arguing with myself over whether or not she would mind. There were so many factors to consider. What about the kids? What would they think? What would Bella think? It wasn‟t until Alice was going to bed that she poked her head in, telling me to stop over analyzing the situation and just get in bed. She knew me so well. I trusted Alice more than myself so I took her advice and slid in next to Bella, being careful not to wake her up. However, I doubt anything less than an eight point earthquake would have stirred her. “Stirrups and stethoscopes.” Bella muttered. She is having the strangest dream. I felt her start to move and I looked down, waiting to catch a glimpse of her warm brown eyes when she woke up. Her fingers twitched on my chest and then slid down to my stomach, stopping just above my naval. I rubbed her shoulders gently, hoping that she would start to wake up. She giggled as her hand dipped lower. I sucked in a breath as her hand trailed over the waist band of my flannel pants and stopped. I let out the breath that I was holding, looking down at her face, her eyes were closed and she had a small smile playing at her lips. She surprised me when her hand slipped down further and she rubbed up and down my length. I groaned a little too loudly and her eye fluttered open. Her hand twitched and I could feel myself growing at her touch. Bella let out a long sigh and then shifted so her chin was resting on my chest as she looked up at me. “Good morning.” I whispered, hoping that she would take the revelation of us being in bed together and where her hand currently was well. She smiled up at me, leaning forward until our lips touched softly. I trailed my hand from her arm and threaded it in her hair, deepening the kiss by tracing my tongue across her lower lip. She hungrily opened her mouth to me, attacking my lips with a fierceness that stunned me momentarily. When I regained my wits, I pulled her closer, feeling a shudder ripple through her body as I responded as enthusiastically as she had.

I had a short thought flicker through my mind that I needed to stop before this went to far when I felt her hand grab hold of the fabric that was under her hand. I groaned at the feeling of my pants rubbing across my now very hard erection. Bella released the fabric as she pulled away from my lips, resting her chin back on my chest. Her eyes were locked with mine, gauging my reaction, as she ran her hand down over the straining member in my pants again, this time she was wide awake. I gasped at the sensation, my eyes closing briefly, before staring back into her beautiful eyes. A look between apprehension and longing crossed her features as she slowly rubbed her hand over my length through the thin material. My hips bucked slightly into her hand, encouraging her to continue as a small smile played at her lips. The hand that I had wrapped in her hair tugged her closer until her lips were on mine again. Our mouths greedily devoured one another as I trailed my free hand down her side, grazing her breast and then stopping at her hip. I rolled us onto our sides as our mouths moved in perfect sync, tongues clashing again and again. Her hand trailed up to the waist band of my pajama pants and she slid one finger under the elastic. When I didn‟t stop her, she slowly pushed the pants and my boxers down over my hips. I groaned loudly into her mouth, forgetting all thoughts of pulling away, as my stiff erection was freed from the confines of clothes. She pushed them down until she would have had to break our kiss and then I kicked them off the rest of the way to the bottom of the covers. Her hand slowly traced up the outside of my leg and I stopped it with mine when it reached my hip. I broke our kiss and looked down on her. Her hair was a wild disarray from my hands, her lips were swollen, and she had a flushed look to her cheeks. She is beautiful. I removed my hand from hers as she gave me a questioning look. I had a strong need to feel her silky thighs against mine, so I hooked my fingers in the waist band of her pants and asked permission with my eyes. She answered by lifting her hips and I slowly slid them down her legs, bringing down her underwear as I went. She pushed her clothes down to the end of the bed where mine were already residing and then squeezed my hip, encouragingly. My hand trailed up the inside of her thighs and I felt her hand grasp my hip tighter in anticipation when I neared her heated core. Leaning in, I kissed her gently as my fingers came in contact with her moist lips. She arched her back, pulling me closer and causing me to moan at the skin to skin contact that I had been craving. I continued to worship her mouth as I slipped my fingers between her warm, wet, folds. I broke the kiss and moved to her neck laying open mouthed kisses along her jaw and pulse point. Little sighs of satisfaction escaped her lips and I couldn‟t help but smile at the pleasure I was giving to her. I hadn‟t felt her hand move until her hot little fingers wrapped around my engorged member. “Shit.” I whispered, burying my head in the crook of her neck. She let out a giggle then slid her hand all the way to the base of my cock and then dragged it slowly back up to the tip. I was lost in the sensation until I felt her hips push into my hand, reminding me that I had another goal. I concentrated on giving her pleasure, trying to block out the feelings she was stirring up in me as I slid my fingers in her crease until I came to her opening. I slipped a finger inside, earning a gasp from her. Slowly I pulled out and circled her opening again before plunging two fingers back into her. Her hips pressed tightly against my hand. I rubbed the palm of my hand against her clit as my fingers slid in and out of her. Our breathing picked up and the closer she got to release the harder it was for me to ignore her hand traveling up and down my length. I felt her inner walls start to clamp down around my fingers and I pulled my head back, wanting to watch her reach her release. Her eyes snapped open and her gaze locked with mine as I pushed her the rest of the way over the edge. Her hand squeezed tighter around me as her eyes glazed over and a soft moan came from her parted lips. I kissed her hard, capturing the erotic sound in my mouth as I felt the waves of pleasure course through her writhing body. I kept my fingers pressed tightly in her until the last tremble left her body and then I slowly pulled them out. I trailed my

hand up under her shirt and over her stomach, then ran it underneath her breast, feeling every curve. Bella continued her ministration, stroking softly and then applying a firmer hand as I moved my hips to her rhythm. I buried my face in her neck with a long sigh as my hand curved over her breast. Suddenly, she let go and pushed me away from her with a small squeal. I jumped at the sudden action and looked up just in time to see Anthony jump right in the middle of my bed between us, Seth following closely behind him. “What the hell!” I hollered as Anthony crawled quickly in between us. “Come on, dad! Aunt Ally made pancakes.” Anthony said with a tentative smile, probably not sure why I yelled at him. I smiled, trying to lessen the outburst only to have him grab the covers and start to pull them down. My arms clamped down on the comforter, not wanting to have to explain why Bella and I didn‟t have pants on. “Go!” I commanded. “Bella and I‟ll be up in a minute.” “But dad, they‟re getting cold.” Tony said as he continued to tug on the comforter. “Anthony, go!” I said shortly, regretting it immediately but knowing that it was the only way to get them out of the room quickly. Anthony quietly crawled off of the bed and walked towards the door with Seth. “My dad‟s not usually such a grouch when he wakes up in the morning.” I heard Anthony say to Seth when he opened the door. “My mom is.” Seth said with a shrug and I chuckled lightly as they closed the door. I looked over at Bella and she was flat on her back staring up at the ceiling. I rolled over towards her, wrapped my arm around her waist and tugged on her hip until she was facing me. “Are you okay?” I asked, watching as her cheeks turned a deep shade of pink. “I‟m fine.” She said with a half smile. I kissed her mouth softly and felt her hand trail back down towards my painfully hard erection. I grasped her hand in mine, stopping her descent. “Later, love.” I whispered against her lips. “Go have breakfast. I‟ll be down after I take a shower.” She started to protest but I kissed her quickly and climbed out of bed. I heard her intake of breath as I pulled off my t-shirt, throwing it in the laundry basket. I looked over my shoulder to see that her eyes were as wide as saucers and she was staring at my ass. I smirked at her when her eyes finally came up and met mine. “Nice ass.” She said tartly so I winked at her and closed the door behind me. I turned on the shower and climbed in under the warm water thinking about what had happened this morning. Bella looked so amazing in the throes of her orgasm. I felt my hand glide over my erection on its own accord. I hadn‟t had a need to release any pent up sexual frustration in a long time. I sighed as I took a hold of my extremely hard shaft, stroking lightly. Why is it that I stopped Bella again? I‟d much rather have her doing this... I imagined her naked, underneath me, with that same look she had only minutes ago. My hand found a quick rhythm and the small bit of disgust I felt for the act I was engaged in melted away as I imagined her throwing her head back in ecstasy as I pounded in to her. A few more quick jerks was all I needed to feel the powerful burst of liquid that shot out of me. A muffled moan escaped my lips and I stood trembling as I caught my breath, leaning heavily against the tile wall.

I quickly finished up in my shower and wrapped a towel around my waist. I poked my head in my room to find it empty so I walked over to the dresser and pulled out a clean pair of boxers and slid them on. I turned toward the closet and noticed that Bella had made the bed before she went downstairs. I growled, thinking about her doing that with her hurt hand. I ran my fingers through my damp hair and pulled a pair of khakis out of the closet and a green button down shirt. Once I was dressed I padded down the stairs and listened for a moment at the foot of the stairs to Bella laughing at something Alice had said. I walked in nonchalantly and felt Bella‟s eyes locked on me. I smiled to myself as I walked over and poured a cup of coffee. “Dad?” Tony asked carefully. “Yeah, Slugger.” I replied before taking a sip of my coffee. He looked apprehensive as he pushed around the pancakes on his plate. “I‟m sorry for…” He paused, and I knew that he was trying to figure out what he did wrong to cause me to yell at him earlier. “Tony, you didn‟t do anything to apologize for.” “But, you were mad when I tried to get you and Bella out of your bed.” He said looking confused. I heard a snort come from Alice and I glared at her before returning my gaze back to my little boy. “Bella slept in your bed?” Liz asked quietly. Anthony nodded his head and then turned back to me, but before he could say anything more Liz melted down. “In mom‟s bed?” She questioned again and I could see the eruption coming but knew there was nothing that I could say to soothe the situation. I glanced at Bella and she was staring intently at her plate. The awkward silence that followed was better than the outburst I was expecting. Liz stood up and walked out of the kitchen, leaving her half eaten plate of food on the table. I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. Just when I thought things were going better between Liz and Bella this had to happen. Tony, not really understanding what had happened with Liz, turned to Bella. “So, are you going to have another sleepover soon?” Bella chuckled as Seth and Anthony bounced in their chairs hoping that the answer would be yes. “I don‟t think so.” She said as she looked over at me. “I have to work double shifts this week so maybe next week.” I winked at Bella over my mug and she smiled shyly at me. Both boys let out a simultaneous groan but then went back to shoveling the pancakes into their mouths. “I figured that I can drop the kids off at school,” Alice said as she handed me a plate of pancakes. “and then you can drive me to work and I‟ll bring Bella‟s car home tonight.” “I need to go to work.” Bella said quickly. Alice shook her head. “No, you don‟t.” Alice said with her arms folded over her chest. “Doctor‟s orders.” Bella looked quickly at me and I smiled and shrugged as I sat down next to her.

“Besides, I‟ve already talked to Angela and she said to take today off.” Alice concluded and then left the room to get the kids ready. Bella muttered under her breath and I smiled. There really is no point in arguing with Alice, she always gets her way. I swallowed down the pancakes quickly as Bella sat silently next to me, occasionally rubbing her uninjured hand through my hair or over my back. “May I see how your hand is doing?” I asked Bella, holding out my hand for hers. She gently placed her bandaged hand in mine. Carefully I unwrapped the dressing and peered closely at the stitches. “It looks fine, but we‟re going to have to put your hand in plastic so you can take a shower. I don‟t want it to get wet.” I said as I wrapped the bandage back around her hand. “Does it hurt?‟ “A little bit but I don‟t want to take anymore of those pills you gave me.” I chuckled and went to the cupboard that held the medicines. I pulled out two Tylenol and held it out to her with a glass of water. “This should be enough for you, light weight.” I joked as she took the pills out of my hand and swallowed them down. I grabbed a Zip-lock bag and the medical tape and sat back down next to her. I slipped her hand in the bag and proceeded to tape it up tightly so that no water could get inside. “Do you think you can manage taking a shower by yourself? I could always wash your hair or maybe your back.” I teased as her cheeks flushed pink before she got a sexy smirk on her face. “Or, you could just take one with me.” She purred. I felt my dick twitch at her suggestion and it took everything I had not to throw her over my shoulder and carry her back to my bed. “I need your car.” Alice said as she came back into the kitchen. I pulled my keys out of my pocket and threw them to her. “I‟ll be back in twenty minutes and then we have to go or I‟ll be late for an appointment with one of my brides. I left some clothes in your bathroom for Bella” I nodded as I pulled Bella out of her chair and we quickly walked up the stairs to my bathroom. I grabbed a towel out of the cabinet and then started the shower for her. “If you need anything I‟ll be in my room.” I said in a rush as I went for the door. “Edward?” Bella stopped me when my hand touched the doorknob. I looked at her over my shoulder in question. “Thank you.” She whispered and I nodded at her before walking out and closing the door. I hung out in my room until I heard the shower shut off, after asking if she needed anything I went back downstairs to gather up my laptop and briefcase. “So…what were you two doing when Anthony came in your room this morning?” Alice asked when she walked back in the door. I ignored her hoping that the teasing would stop before it started. “Hmmm.” She thought out loud. “I‟ve never heard you yell at Tony for coming in your room before, Edward. You either didn‟t want to be interrupted or you were in a compromising position.” She mused, making my ears heat up with agitation and embarrassment. “Drop it, Alice.” I growled as I heard Bella‟s footsteps on the stairs. Alice smirked at me and I gave her a „keep your mouth shut‟ look. Her grin widened and I glared at her one last time before turning to the stairs. “Ready?” I asked Bella as she came off the last stair. She nodded at me as I took her gently in my arms, Alice and her teasing, completely forgotten. I brushed my lips against hers softly and felt her relax completely in my hold. “Get a room!” Alice said as she poked me in the side. “Let‟s go, I‟m going to be late.”

I felt a huge sense of disappointment when I dropped Bella off at home. She gave me a quick kiss on the cheek and then slipped inside her home. I sighed heavily as I sat back down in the car. “I really like her, Edward.” Alice said sincerely as we pulled out of Bella‟s driveway. “Yeah,” I said quietly. “I do, too.” Alice chattered away about her upcoming wedding and the success of Jasper‟s restaurant all the way to work. I tuned out most of what she said and inserted “Mmhmm‟s” and nods whenever she paused. My mind was fully fixed on the memory of Bella in my bed. “Then Jasper put on a purple skirt with some matching heels and did the Macarana.” “Mmhmm, that‟s nice.” “Edward!” Alice snapped at me causing me to turn and look at her questioningly. “You didn‟t hear a word I said, did you?” I looked sheepishly back at her and then shook my head. “Sorry, Ally.” She huffed, folding her arms across her chest. After a few minutes she smiled at me, with her angelic smile. I immediately knew I was in trouble. “What plans do you have with Bella?” Alice asked innocently and I couldn‟t tell if she was just inquiring or had some kind of dastardly plan to put into motion. “Um…we‟re going to take the kids to the Good Old Days on Saturday.” I answered, not knowing what she was getting at. “No. I mean, just the two of you?” “We haven‟t talked about it.” I admitted as I pulled into the turnabout in front of the Aquarium. “Okay, my stupid brother. I think you‟ve forgotten how to date.” She said snidely, rolling her eyes. “It‟s only been eleven years, Alice.” I said sarcastically back. “You need to think about doing some things without the kids.” I agreed with Alice on that account. I wanted to have Bella alone, to explore the feelings that she was stirring up in me. “The following weekend, I‟ll take all of the kids.” Alice said as she climbed out of my car. “You think of something special to do with your sweetheart.” She gave me a small wink then dashed across the street and disappeared into the Aquarium. I sighed as I pulled back onto Cannery Row thinking about her proposal. Flashes of Bella, lying in my bed with her cheek on my pillow, her hair fanned out behind her, would flicker through my mind. The way her lips parted as breathy moans slipped between her lips. Her hips moving rhythmically against my hand as I brought her to her release. Suddenly pictures of Elizabeth danced across my mind. Her disappointment, her anger, and her tears over the last three years. Then her words struck me hard. “In mom‟s bed?” In Tanya‟s bed. The bed she picked out. I felt my chest tighten as I thought again of Bella wrapped in my arms in my bed. No, it wasn‟t my bed; it was mine and Tanya‟s. What have I done?

I felt like I betrayed every memory that Tanya and I had shared in that bed. I felt my chest squeezing, cutting off my breath as I recounted the times we had made love and the times that we laid there and cuddled while we talked about our children‟s futures. My breath came in quick gasps as I pulled over. I was having a panic attack. I hadn‟t had one since the night Tanya died, but I recognized it for what it was. My mind kept telling me that I was being ridiculous. But my emotions were screaming at me that I had been unfaithful, sending waves of guilt washing over me. I managed to get a grip on the fact that I was not being unfaithful when another fresh wave of guilt would assault me as I thought about Bella and why I couldn‟t seem to let go of my wife. I reached for my phone and dialed Bella‟s number quickly. “Miss me so soon?” She answered teasingly after the first ring. I felt myself relax at the sound of her voice. “Yeah, I just needed to hear your sweet voice again.” I whispered quietly, hoping that she wouldn‟t hear the lingering panic attack that was starting to subside. “Edward, are you okay?” Bella asked with a hint of concern in her voice. I ran my hand over my face, trying to clear the remaining feelings that had assaulted my body. “Edward?” She asked again sounding a bit more panicked. “I‟m fine.” I whispered, resting my head on the steering wheel. “Are you sure? You don‟t sound like yourself.” “I‟m much better now.” I said and I felt the last pieces of the attack fading away. “I wanted to find out if you have plans a week from Saturday?” “No. Just baseball. Why?” “Alice offered to take the kids so we could do something, just the two of us.” “Like what?” Just then an idea started to form in my mind and I smiled into the phone. “It‟ll be a surprise.” I heard her groan on the other end, causing me to chuckle. “I think you‟ll love it.” I heard her muttering into the phone, but couldn‟t make out what she said. “I‟d love to Edward.” Bella said in a voice that told me she was fighting with herself to accept my surprise. I laughed softly at the small victory and then we said our goodbyes. I sat in my car, thinking about the onslaught of emotions and anguish I had just experienced and resolved that there was only one way to solve this problem. I needed to buy a new bed.

~*~

Chapter 16 Mama Bear

Bella Swan-Black The week passed by blindingly fast. After my sleepover with Edward, I worried that maybe we had progressed a little too quickly in our newfound relationship. However, I didn‟t have to worry, he called me everyday. He was working the night shift which left no time for us to see each other but he called me as often as he could, mainly, in between patients, on his breaks and when he woke up in the afternoons after his long shift. Our conversations were always filled with new information. I learned a lot about who he was and what drove him to take on a profession that was filled with heartache and stress. It was Thursday evening that he called me and I could tell that something was weighing on his mind. I asked if he was all right but I got a vague answer. I resolved that if he wasn‟t comfortable in talking with me about whatever was bothering him, then I would be patient and not bug him about it. As we were about to hang up, he stopped me and all of his day came out in one long gust of information. He had spent the afternoon triple checking the results of a drowning victim. Then he had to explain to the parents of the small boy that their son would never wake up from his comatose state. He had been in the ocean too long but was resuscitated and put on machines, there was no brain activity. Just the shell of the boy that they loved was present. He cried on the phone as he recounted the story and I wanted so badly to be with him, holding him close and taking some of the pain away that he took upon himself. Afterwards, he apologized for burdening me with the information but I assured him that my concern was only for him. Even though it was a horrible thing to have to witness, there was a small part of me that was glad that he shared a part of himself with me. Practices for baseball were still held, only Emmett was in charge. He loved the boys and it showed in his coaching. Emmett didn‟t command that same level of respect that Edward did. The boys listened to Emmett but they didn‟t appear to have the same driving force that Edward seemed to elicit in them. I did learn that a pickle isn‟t just something you eat. The boys had a lot of fun running drills over and over about stealing bases and then getting stuck in the middle of two players. Emmett pounded the drill into them until all of the boys had at least one successful run at being in „a pickle‟. I had to dodge Mike‟s advances a little more frequently without Edward around. I still couldn‟t believe the man couldn‟t take a hint. Hell, I gave him more than a hint but he still seemed to be clueless. Maybe his method of operation was „Wear them down until you get some‟. His wife was no better. Every time she saw me she would make some snide remark to whoever was present. Her main cohort seemed to be Mrs. Crowley. It didn‟t bother me; I knew that they both were just jealous of my relationship with Edward. Saturday morning came quicker than I anticipated and I felt myself anxiously getting things ready for our day. Seth came bounding into the kitchen after feeding Buddy and his creatures. Since I got him the reptile tank a few days ago, his pets seemed to have doubled. I tried to ignore the fact that I had a slimy snake in my house; as long as it didn‟t escape I was good. “Mom, do you know what today is?” Seth asked excitedly. Yep, it‟s the day I get to see Edward after missing him for three days. Instead of saying what I thought I shook my head wondering what Seth was excited about. “Today is the Good Old Days.” He said with a huge smile as he poured a bowl of cereal. “Tony told me all about the parade and the motorcycle cop competition and the cotton candy and corn dogs!” He said the last part about the food reverently. I groaned inwardly at the thought of feeding this child when he‟s a teenager. “Edward said we‟d probably miss the parade because of your game.” I told him, not wanting him to be disappointed when he realized we missed it. Seth shrugged his shoulders and then shoveled in a large spoonful of Captain Crunch. He went to say something and I held my hand out to stop him.

“I love you, but I don‟t want to see your food.” I warned and he snapped his mouth closed and finished chewing what he had in his mouth. “It‟s okay, if we miss the parade. Tony said the motorcycle competition is really cool and one of the police guys stands on his motorcycle and rides down the street with no hands.” Seth said in awe as he took another huge bite of cereal. I chuckled at his enthusiasm, he‟s such a typical boy and if I hadn‟t been around Jake and the La Push pack I might have been worried about his constant curiosity over all things dangerous. I rushed Seth through his third bowl of cereal, letting him know that his coaches wouldn‟t be happy if he was late and that he might wind up on the bench. That did it. He was ready in no time and pushing me out the door. Seth‟s excitement was starting to get out of control and I finally had to ask him to play the quiet game with me to the ball park. The winner? Me, because it earned me five minutes of peace and quiet. “We‟re here.” I said quietly, feigning surprise when he looked victoriously at me. I couldn‟t let him lose. If I did he might not want to play next time, when I needed quiet more than I did at the moment. I smiled inwardly at my stash of mommy tricks. “You talked, mom!” Seth pointed out as his grin grew. “So I get a super-sized Cotton Candy when we get there.” I smiled and nodded my head. “You sure do, Storm.” I said, using his nickname and earning a bigger grin. We climbed out of the car and I noticed that we were the first ones to arrive beside the coaches. I scanned the field quickly looking for Edward, he was talking with Emmett behind the backstop while Tony threw pitches into a net. Seth darted quickly away and ran towards Tony, while I quickly made my way towards Edward. Emmett and Edward had there heads together and didn‟t notice me coming closer. I climbed up on the bleachers not wanting to disturb what they were doing and took in Edward‟s appearance. He was clad in a pair of jeans that hung loosely off of his hips and extremely white tennis shoes. His jersey was different from the boys‟ black shirt with orange writing. His was a creamy white with black and orange writing. His ball cap was the same black with orange writing that the boys had, his bronze curls curled up under the back of the hat. I sighed inwardly as I watched his fingers trail over the list in Emmett‟s hand. His fingers. A small shudder rippled through my body at the remembrance of exactly what those fingers did to me a few days ago. I thought for a moment that now wasn‟t the time to relive that little daydream but I couldn‟t help myself. The dream I was having when I woke up in his arms was something that I had thought about too many times since then. It was probably induced by the loopy drugs he had put me on for the pain in my hand, because whatever it was I couldn‟t seem to replicate it in my dreams. Only at times like these when my mind wondered did I remember exactly what started the chain reaction that led to those wonderful fingers dancing across my flesh. I played with the idea of actually fulfilling my ever growing fantasy of him, in doctor‟s scrubs, playing doctor with me in a brightly lit room. Stirrups never looked so appealing. “Bella.” I shook my head and blushed as I tried to pull myself out of the fantasy world I created and back to the real world, which never looked so good. “Where were you?” Edward chuckled as he sat down next to me and brought my hand into his lap. “You were a million miles away.” I smiled, trying to ignore the blush that was making my face flush. “Just thinking about seeing a doctor.” He gave me a quizzical look and I held out my hand. “I need to get my

stitches out soon.” “I can take those out in a couple of days. There‟s no need in you going in when I can do it at home.” He took my injured hand in his and brought it up to his lips. “How‟s it feeling?” “Itches, but other than that it‟s fine.” I couldn‟t help but feel a pang in my heart at the tender way he cared for me. He was always so attentive and thoughtful, making sure that my every need was taken care of. He leaned in and kissed me lightly on the mouth while his hand rubbed circles over my knuckles. Leaning back, he looked at me with that crooked grin that made my knees weak. “Are you ready to harness your inner momma bear?” He asked making me groan and put my head in my hands. “No.” I said honestly as he chuckled. I poked him in the ribs and he grabbed my finger and brought it up to his lips. “He‟s pitching the first inning. I need you to cheer him on but leave the coaching to me.” I rolled my eyes. “Like I would give my child any good advice at pitching.” I said sarcastically to him, he leaned close to me as if he was going to kiss me again but stopped, mere inches away from my lips. “Good. Because I don‟t want to have to come over here and put you in your place.” He pecked my lips and then pulled away quickly, leaving me wanting more. He was still laughing when he walked over to Seth. I let out a long sigh and watched as Edward warmed up Seth‟s arm with some practice pitches. “Took my advice, did you?” Mrs. Crowley‟s sickly sweet voice chimed next to me and I held back the cringe that went through me. “I‟m sorry?” I asked, knowing perfectly well that she was referring to the first day we met and she dished the dirt on the local hot doc. “I see you‟ve made cozy with the most eligible bachelor in Carmel. I‟m dying to know what you did to capture his attention.” She said with a slight sneer as her eyes raked over my body like she was trying to figure out what he saw in me. I shrugged lightly. “I guess he just likes women who aren‟t fake.” I said off handedly playing on the fact that she was fake in both personality and appearance. She huffed slightly and I saw her flag down Jessica out of the corner of my eye. Why me? At least it was Jessica and not Mike today. They didn‟t seem to be together very often. I ignored the two prima donnas sitting next to me and focused on the boys in the field. I wondered if Alice was going to be here today, she would alleviate some of the monotony of listening to the brainless duo. Just as the umpire called the game to start I saw the two small forms of Alice and Elizabeth darting through the parking lot and headed towards the bleachers. My eyes focused back on my son who was standing in the middle of the field on a small dirt mound. He had a look of pure concentration on his face as he threw several practice pitches to Tony who was currently buried under a pile of gear. Every time he hit his mark I could hear Anthony‟s excited encouragement. I think I fell in love with that boy just a little more for being such a great kid. “Batter up!” The umpire called, halting Seth‟s pitches. He kicked at the dirt and I could tell that he was anxious. I bit my lip nervously and looked over at Edward. He was staring at me with a huge grin on his face and then I watched as he shook his head quickly, reminding me to keep myself in check. I stuck my tongue out at him and focused my attention back on Seth. Edward‟s loud chuckle echoed back at me from across the field, making me

smile. “Hello Bella.” Alice said as she sat down next to me. I gave her my greeting but then looked back at Seth. “Oh.” She said as Seth threw his first ball. It was out of the strike zone. I heard Anthony encouraging him as he threw the ball back to Seth. Seth slowly nodded his head and threw the ball perfectly into Tony‟s awaiting mitt. “St-eee-rike!” The umpire yelled with a pump of his fist. The crowd around us erupted in applause and cheers. “That‟s it Seth, just like that! Put some heat on it!” I heard Emmett from somewhere beside the dugout. Seth‟s grin spread like he was the cat that had just eaten the canary. I glanced quickly at Edward and he was making some weird signs with his arms as Seth looked at him and nodded. Seth wound up and threw a ball so fast that I barely saw it. Anthony caught it perfectly and threw it back to Seth, before he pulled his hand out of his mitt and shook it, letting everyone know that Seth‟s pitch was so fast it stung. “St-eee-rike Two!” The umpire yelled again Seth‟s smile was contagious and I found myself relaxing a bit when I realized how much Edward had worked with him. I looked back over at Edward and he had a lazy smile on his face as his eyes connected with me. He nodded his head in approval and then refocused on the game. It was a quick inning with Seth taking out the first three batters before they could even get on base. “So, you made it through your first inning of watching Seth pitch.” Alice chimed next to me with a knowing smile on her face. “Yeah, it wasn‟t as bad as I expected.” I admitted quietly and then smiled at her. “You should have seen Edward the first time that Tony pitched.” She had my full attention. I couldn‟t wait to hear what he was like after all of his teasing. “Really?” I said, encouraging her to go on. “Oh yeah. It was during the All Star game. Edward had to go stand behind the dugout and let Emmett coach. He was so nervous for him that every time Tony didn‟t hit his mark Emmett would have to hold Edward back from pulling him off the mound.” I laughed heartily at the image she was planting in my mind. “It took awhile for Edward to let it go, but if you watch closely you‟ll see him holding himself back when Tony‟s not throwing well.” I giggled and stored that piece of information away for later. Liz peeked around Alice and I wasn‟t sure what to say to her. The last time I had seen her was when she was storming to her room after she found out I had stayed the night with her dad. I figured I needed to be the grown up and show her that I really wanted to be her friend. “Good morning, Liz.” I said trying to make my voice sound warm and friendly. She looked at me from behind Alice‟s shoulder and I saw a flicker of defiance before she greeted me. “Hello Ms. Black.” I was a bit taken aback with the formal greeting. “Please Liz, call me Bella.” I said with a smile, hoping to break down some of the barriers that had been set back up since our last encounter. She looked back at me for a minute before turning to the game, not acknowledging my invitation. I sighed heavily and looked back out at the field.

“Aunt Ally, can I go hang out with Shannon?” Elizabeth asked as she pointed to the adjoining field. Alice looked over at the other field and nodded her head. “Yes, but make sure you pay attention to when the game ends. I don‟t want to have to go looking for you, and stay with Shannon, I don‟t want you wandering around by yourself” I smiled as Alice gave her the list of instructions. For not being a parent yet Alice had had plenty of practice. We watched the game as it progressed slowly. After Seth‟s perfect inning at pitching Edward pulled him out and had him catch for Tony. After Tony‟s three innings were up he switched Seth to first base so he didn‟t have to catch for James. I was starting to think that Edward was pretty good at diplomatically arranging the boys‟ positions so that there was less contention and more team unity. James was having a bad run and I actually found myself feeling sorry for him as he walked player after player around the bases. Eventually Edward called a time out and walked out to talk with James. He got down on his level and I felt sorry for the boy when he nodded his head and walked off the field under Edward‟s arm. The crowd gave him a round of applause for his effort but when I looked over at his mother she was busy talking on her cell phone, oblivious to the drama out on the field. I thought that Edward would pull Tony to pitch but instead he waved over Seth and my stomach turned over. “Why isn‟t he playing Tony?” I asked Alice, almost in a panic. “League rules say that a boy can only pitch six innings a week. Tony already pitched three on Tuesday.” I groaned outwardly, earning a giggle from Alice. “Don‟t worry, he‟ll do fine.” She said reassuringly, however it didn‟t help. Seth took the time allotted to him to warm up and I could almost feel his nervousness from where I was sitting. Why couldn‟t Edward let him end on a positive note? What if things went bad like they did for James? I groaned again and buried my face in my hands. I think I might have to kill him later for making me a wreck. Our team was only up by one run, thanks to James walking so many runners and now it was Seth‟s responsibility to carry the rest of the game. I looked over at Edward and his normal smile was gone. A look of pure determination was etched across his face. This isn‟t good. I watched intently as Seth walked the first runner. My stomach was doing flips as Tony ran out to talk to Seth on the mound. After a few seconds, Tony patted him hard on the back and ran back to the catcher‟s position, flipping his mask back over his face. Seth‟s next pitch was hit by the batter sending it flying up in the air, way over the heads of the infielders. Laurent, out in right field caught it easily and threw it to first base getting not only the batter out but the runner on first. We all stood up and cheered at the awesome play. I looked over at Seth and he looked like he was going to faint. I walked down the bleachers and stood in front of the backstop, threading my fingers into chain link fence. I watched Seth intently as he kicked at the dirt and then looked over at me. “Come on, Storm! You can do it!” I yelled as he smiled at me but then rolled his eyes as if he was embarrassed. I felt like I was walking on pins and needles as he threw another pitch. It was too far outside and I glanced over at Edward who was shaking his head. Seth‟s next pitch was identical to the first. “Make a decision Seth! Don‟t throw it until you‟ve pictured it.” I bristled slightly at Edward‟s tone and glanced at Seth. He nodded his head in concentration and I forgave Edward immediately when I realized that this was something they had been working on. Seth wound up and threw a perfect strike.

“That‟s what I‟m talkin‟ about!” Edward clapped as he smiled wider at Seth. My little boy stood a little taller as he threw another perfect strike. Emmett was whooping in the background and I vaguely heard the other parents encouraging him. Come on baby, one more. Seth wound up and pitched but this one didn‟t end with a soft thud, landing into Tony‟s mitt. This one was followed by a loud crack as the batter connected with the ball. I gasped as I watched Seth hit the dirt backwards on his back and a loud cheer from the crowd erupted from behind me. What the hell is there problem? My son could be hurt. Seth was lying on the ground and wasn‟t moving. I started to panic as I ran for the gate that led to the field. Just as I rounded the corner, Seth sat up with a huge grin on his face. I halted and watched as he held up his gloved hand and Anthony came running full force at him, jumping on top of him, followed by the rest of our team. What the hell is going on? I looked at Edward who was standing next to me with a confused look on my face. “Seth caught the ball. It was a hard drive right at him, almost impossible to catch but his reflexes are quick.” Edward said with a proud look on his face. I stared dumbfounded at the mass of boys congratulating Seth. Edward leaned in close to my ear. I felt his warm breath along my neck. “Calm down mama bear, your cub is just fine.” I swatted at him with my good hand as he grabbed my hand and pulled me in for a long kiss. He released me quickly and I wobbled slightly at the quick change of my equilibrium. He chuckled quietly and then ran over to congratulate the boys. I slowly walked over to Alice and she gave me a knowing smirk. “I‟m going to give you a piece of advice.” She said as we gathered up our things. “Don‟t run out onto the field if Seth gets hurt. The embarrassment will be worse than the injury.” I smiled and nodded my head. Thankful that this time he wasn‟t hurt. “I know but it‟s hard.” I said before I felt the hair rise on the back of my neck as if someone where standing over me. I turned around to be face to face with a sneering Jessica . “Well, aren‟t you working the field quickly. First you try to get my husband into bed and now you‟ve got Coach Cullen panting after you.” She hissed at me and I felt my blood boil. I had taken her snide remarks for the last couple of weeks and tried to be the better person but I was finished trying to play nice. The gloves were coming off. “You have your facts a little mixed up, Jessica. First off your husband is a pig that hasn‟t left me alone since I met him, even after I forcefully had to tell him to take a hike. As for Edward, it‟s none of your damn business.” I said vehemently, my face inches from hers. “Maybe if you spent more time working on fixing your own relationship you wouldn‟t be so jealous of someone else‟s.” I stared back at her challenging her to contradict what I said but she knew I wasn‟t lying about her husband. Her mouth opened and then snapped shut as her retort died in the back of her throat. I felt the strong hands of Edward grip my arms and I realized why she kept her trap shut. I wished that Edward would have waited a few more minutes before coming over because I desperately wanted to slap this woman. “Is everything okay?” He whispered next to my ear. I looked at Jessica and could see the green eyed monster sitting on her shoulder, whispering in her. I looked pointedly at her and she shook her head at Edward, gracing him with her best smile. I wanted to pull out her hair. “Yes, Coach Cullen. I was just congratulating Bella on her son‟s pitching.” She smiled innocently at him and I rolled my eyes. I heard Alice snort behind me and had to hold back the giggle that threatened to slip out. Jessica

turned on her heel and quickly walked away. I sagged back into Edward and let him wrap his arms around me. “How come I don‟t believe her?” He whispered in my ear and then placed a kiss under it on the soft flesh of my neck. I forgot instantly what we were talking about until he jumped slightly as Alice poked him in the ribs. “Give me a break.” She teased us both. “You‟re getting as bad as Emmett and Rose.” Edward shook his head at her. “No one is as bad as those two.” He chuckled and grabbed my hand pulling me towards the parking lot. Seth and Anthony were close behind, bouncing in their excitement to get to the Good Old Days. “What about Liz?” I asked as he helped me into my car. “She‟s going to go with Alice and meet us there. I‟ll follow you home so you can drop off your car.” He said as he closed the door and quickly climbed into his car with both boys. I smiled all the way home anticipating the time that I would get to spend with Edward. Nothing was going to ruin this day. Nothing.

~*~ In this stage of little league they only play six innings.

~*~

Chapter 17 Good Old Days Bella Swan-Black I tried to stem my excitement at spending the rest of the day with Edward, but it just kept bubbling up into small giggles. I pulled into my driveway and hopped out just as Edward pulled in with his shiny silver Volvo. “I just need to feed Buddy and then we can go.” “Can we bring him with us? Please mom?” Seth looked up at me with his big puppy dog eyes and I sighed heavily, looking over at Edward. “It‟s fine. All of the activities are outside and everyone brings their dogs.” Edward said to me. I gave him an apologetic look that he simply waved off, then I gathered up the dog's harness and leash. Buddy, in his excitement over having company was doing laps in the backyard while Seth and Tony tried to grab him. I could hear Edward‟s booming laugh and felt myself smiling as I came back out the door. There, on the ground, was Seth and Tony lying completely on top of Buddy. Buddy was panting underneath them, his tongue lolling out of his mouth, his tail wagging furiously. I whistled to him, rattling his leash as I stepped out onto the patio. Buddy‟s ears perked up and in one swift motion, stood up and shook off the two offending children and then trotted over to me. The boys laid on the ground giggling furiously as Edward watched on with a small smirk playing at his lips. I sighed internally with how much I liked having him close by. I snapped Buddy into his harness, wound up the leash and put it in my purse before turning back to the men in my life.

“Ready?” I asked as I slipped my hand into Edward‟s. He smiled down at me and then called the boys to the car. He pulled out the blanket from his trunk and set it in the backseat for Buddy to sit on and then loaded two giggling boys, a dog, and myself into his car. Edward climbed in and grinned at me before pulling out of the driveway and onto the highway Edward reached over and took my hand out of my lap and brought it to his lips before settling it on his leg. The gesture was small but it held the promise of him not letting go of me today and that was something I was very much looking forward to. My thumb caressed his hand softly as we drove through the Skyline Forest of Highway 68 into Pacific Grove. I had been through the upper part of Pacific Grove many times because it was the fastest way to get to the Aquarium but the only time that I had been into downtown was on our first date when he had taken me to dinner. As we came down the hill, drawing closer to downtown, there was a spectacular view of the Monterey Bay. I loved all of the Victorian homes that were lined up and down the streets as we neared the ocean. A lot of the streets were blocked off and Edward took several back roads winding us down to Oceanview Boulevard. I sucked in a breath at the beauty laid before me. It was a clear, beautiful afternoon and the Bay was a brilliant blue that was almost glassy smooth. “Dad!‟ Anthony squealed from the behind me. “It‟s a perfect day for sailing!” I looked quickly over at Edward to find him shaking his head. “It‟s a pretty day but there‟s no wind.” Edward corrected and I heard a small huff come from the backseat. Edward chuckled quietly as he pulled the car into a parking space. “We‟ll have to walk a couple of blocks up but I thought the walk would be nice.” He smiled over at me as he squeezed my hand gently. He hopped out and walked around to my side where he opened my door and offered his hand. I smiled at the difference in how much I seemed to like his chivalry since that first day where I had laughed at him. I handed Seth the leash and the boys clipped it on Buddy and then they all scampered out of the car. We leisurely walked along the bike trail that ran alongside the ocean, hand in hand. Edward explained that it went all the way to Marina and stopped on the other side of Pacific Grove. As we reached Lover‟s Point he pointed out a huge yellow Victorian bed and breakfast. “I‟ve seen that place before on TV!” Seth said as he jumped up and down excitedly. I smiled widely and admired the beauty of the old home. Edward chuckled and ushered us up the road, towards downtown. “Did you know that John Steinbeck lived in Pacific Grove?” Edward asked as he recounted some of the history of this beautiful city. I nodded my head in awe. Seth and Anthony were taking turns holding on to Buddy‟s leash as he pulled them up the hill. The closer we got to the bustling fair, the more the three of them got excited. “Seth, make sure you don‟t let go of his leash. He‟s too friendly for his own good.” I reminded the boys as we entered the fair. Lighthouse Avenue was completely closed down for several blocks and on both sides of the street there were vendors of every kind. Edward squeezed my hand and quickly dragged me towards the food booths. “We need to get something to eat and then get up to the Motorcycle Competition, it starts in twenty minutes.” He

stopped in the middle of the cluster of food booths and looked down at me with a small smile. Edward pulled me around so that I was facing him. “I‟m buying lunch so don‟t even think about pulling out your wallet.” He growled after I reached for my purse. A small smirk graced my face because I couldn‟t help but tease him. “I think you just want me to stick my hands in your pocket again.” I whispered seductively as I slipped my uninjured hand into the pocket of his jeans. He pulled me tightly against him, stopping my hand from going deeper and preventing anyone else from seeing what I was doing. With a small growl he kissed my nose as his hand traveled down my arm until he was grasping my wrist. “However much I would like for that hand to stay exactly where it is,” He said with a small groan. “I don‟t think that I have that much resistance to stop you if you go any farther.” He gently pulled my hand out and brought it up to his lips. The sparkle in his green eyes as they bore into me was almost my undoing. “Mom! Super-sized Cotton Candy!” Seth interrupted, completely oblivious to the intimate moment that we were sharing. Edward coughed lightly and pulled away from me, keeping my hand wrapped firmly in his. “Yep, I owe you one.” I said as Edward looked at me quizzically. “The quiet game. He won.” Edward had a slightly surprised look in his eye. “You play the quiet game?” He asked curiously as he pulled me through the line at the corn dog stand. “Yeah. I think it‟s one of the best mommy tricks up our sleeves.” I whispered with a conspiratorial wink. He chuckled softly. “Tanya used to do that a lot when I had to study for my Licensing Exam.” He said quietly, pulling me up against his chest and wrapping his arms around my waist. I thought I caught a bit of sadness in his eyes but it disappeared as quickly as it appeared. Buddy brushed up against my leg and I took the leash from Seth while he and Tony helped Edward carry all of our food over to a small table that was set up under a canopy. I sat down and watched as Edward, Seth, and Tony consumed seven corn dogs before I even had half of mine eaten. Boys! When we were finished eating, well in there case it was more like devouring, our lunch we headed towards the Police station. The street was completely blocked off and there were small cones placed in strategic places. The crowds were already lining the streets so we moved down a few blocks and propped ourselves on a stone wall to watch the show. As soon as we were situated Edward‟s phone rang in his pocket. “Alice?” He answered. “No, we‟re about three blocks from the police station. Keep coming.” He was scanning the crowd for his sister. “I see Jasper. We‟re about a half a block down, on the wall.” He said with a smile and quickly snapped his phone closed. I glanced around until I found Jasper. Alice was too small to see in the thick crowd. My eyes wandered over to Seth and Tony that were playing with Buddy on a grass knoll in front of the elementary school. “Bella. It‟s nice to see you again.” Jasper greeted as he, Alice, and Liz walked up and stood next to us on the wall. Alice was bouncing in anticipation and I couldn‟t help but smile at her enthusiasm.

“This is so much fun. I love all the motorcycles.” She squealed as she hopped up on the wall and sat down, trying to get a little higher over the crowd. “I love the roar of an American made motorcycle.” She said dreamily. I looked over at Jasper to see him smirk at her and then give her a sexy wink before leaning against the wall between her legs. She ran her fingers through his hair as she bounced happily. “Jasper has a Harley.” Edward whispered in my ear, enlightening me on the strange bit of foreplay going on in front of us. I nodded my understanding as the competition started. Motorcycle police from all over California lined the street. The competition was kicked off by several Motorcycle drill teams that consisted of thirty to forty police officers that rode in a beautifully choreographed dance. It was thrilling to watch as the bikes zipped in and out of each other, coming dangerously close to colliding. There was an announcer that talked a little about the history of the event but he was drowned out by the roar of thirty motorcycles rumbling in unison. The competition started and I watched totally enthralled with the synchronized competition. Two motorcycle police weaved in and out of small cones that were placed all the way up the street. Occasionally you could hear the scraping of their feet pegs as they dipped their bikes low to make it around the cones. I looked down when Buddy put his front paws on my knees. His leash trailing down behind him. My head shot over to the grassy knoll, wondering why the boys weren‟t holding on to him. They weren‟t there. I grabbed Buddy's leash before he could run away. “Edward, where are the boys?” I asked as a lump started forming in my throat. He looked back over at where they were a few minutes ago. Then his eyes scanned the crowd on the sidewalk. His hand raked quickly through his hair and I could see the alarm in his eyes. “Alice, the boys?” I asked, panic clearly evident in my voice. She looked around quickly as Edward and I hopped down from the wall. There was a loud cheer and I wanted to scream at how these people could be happy while Seth and Tony were missing. I ran over to the area that they had been playing and looked around. “Edward?” I cried as the tears were starting to prickle behind my lids. I felt the bile rise up in my throat and I swallowed it down. No, no, no, this can‟t be happening. “Jasper. Alice. You take the other side of the street. Bella, take Liz and look down the there.” Edward pointed towards the end of the barriers. “If they‟re not there, check the school. I‟m going to go to the police station and see if they went inside.” He pulled me into his arms and kissed my temple. “It‟ll be okay, Bella.” He whispered as a tear fell down my cheek. I nodded my head and shoved him away from me. “Go.” I said as I turned to Liz. “Come on Liz, we need to find the boys.” She had a worried frown on her face as I took her hand and with Buddy we walked down the street, looking frantically through the crowd. When we didn‟t find them on the sidewalk I turned back to the school and wandered onto the playground. I thought that maybe they got distracted and were on the jungle gym but when we got close enough to see the children that were there, none of them were mine. Elizabeth wrenched her hand from my grasp violently and I looked down at her with stunned surprise. She looked up at me and I didn‟t see the beautiful child that she was because her face was distorted into an angry scowl. “Liz. What‟s…” I began but was stopped by the look on her face. “You lost my brother!” She screamed at me causing a few of the children on the playground to stop and stare at

us. “And, you want to be my mom!? You can‟t even keep track of two little boys.” She stomped her foot hard as I watched her face turn a bright red from yelling. I snapped out of my daze, trying to comprehend her words and realizing that her temper tantrum wasn‟t helping the situation, “Liz, please. Let‟s just find Tony and Seth and then we can talk about this.” I said reaching for her hand again. She jerked away and glared at me. “You will never be my mom!” She hissed at me and stalked towards the street. My patience had come to its limits. My son was somewhere. I couldn‟t find him and she wanted to pick this time to argue with me? “Dammit, get back here!” I walked in front of her to block her escape. “Look! I know you're mad and I know that you don't like me right now, but this is not the time to do this.” She looked a little stunned that I had spoken so harshly but it was imperative that we worked together to find the boys. “We need to find your brother and Seth before something happens to them. So, you can either help look, or we can go find your father. The choice is yours, but I'm not going to stand around and let you yell at me.” She looked somewhat remorseful when I reminded her of the reason that we were together before she gave me a curt nod. We walked quickly back up the crowded sidewalks, I spotted Jasper over the heads of the crowd across the street headed towards the police station. I grabbed Liz‟s hand, despite her protest and pulled her quickly up the street. She didn‟t fight with me but I could tell that she wasn‟t happy with having to touch me. I didn‟t really care at that moment. We reached the end of the barricade that was set up in front of the police station and then darted across the street. As soon as we were across I let go of Elizabeth‟s hand and waved a hand at Jasper, Alice trailing closely behind him. “Did you find the boys?” I asked, trying to keep the panic to a minimum. Jasper shook his head quickly and looked back at Alice. She looked as distraught as I felt. She pushed past all of us and ran up the stairs to the police department. “I‟ll stay out here, just in case they are wandering around.” Jasper said quickly as I turned and followed Alice, not caring if I was bringing Buddy into a public place. As soon as the doors were swung open I could see Tony and Seth sitting along the wall in plastic chairs. I let out a relieved breath as I ran over to them and sank to the floor in front of Seth. I let go of Buddy's leash and pulled Seth into my arms, burying my face in his hair. I could hear Alice and Edward talking softly by the front desk. “Where were you? We looked everywhere.” I said with a sob as the tears began to flow down my cheek. “I was so worried about you.” I felt his little arm curl up into my hair as he pet me softly like he would Buddy. “I‟m sorry mom, Buddy ran off and we went to look for him.” Seth whispered. I continued to cry softly into his hair until I felt a strong pair of arms wrap around the both of us. “It‟s okay, Bella.” Edward whispered in my ear. “They‟re okay.” I pulled back from Seth and let my head fall to Edward‟s chest as I looked down on my son. He looked up at me through his thick black eyelashes and I couldn‟t help but think the worst. What would I ever do if something happened to him? I shuddered lightly at the thought and Edward pulled me closer to him. I quickly wiped the tears on my sleeve and helped stand Seth up before letting Edward drag me up as well. As soon as my heart realized that they were unhurt and alright I felt my anger start to boil at the carelessness of their actions. Seth knew better than to take off without talking to me first. Edward must have felt my change of mood because he took my hand rubbed small soothing circles across my knuckles. Count to ten, Bella. I scolded

myself before I said something that I would later regret. “Please explain exactly what happened.” I said smoothly, proud that my words didn‟t come out at a louder volume. “Well, see, Buddy ran off through the school so Tony and I went to find him.” He said looking down, he knew I was angry and he was probably a bit worried at what would happen to him now. “He ended up disappearing when we made it around the building so we kept calling him but he never came. We came back but all of you were gone.” He whispered the last sentence quietly and when he looked back up at me there were tears glistening in his eyes. “I was so scared, momma.” My heart softened at his admission and I wanted to pull him back into my arms. “But, dad always told me that if we get lost to find someone in uniform and tell them. There were lots of police around so we just went up to one of them and they brought us here.” Anthony finished for Seth when he saw that his friend was upset. I couldn‟t help but chuckle softly at the irony. “Well, I suppose if you were going to get lost then this would be the best place.” I said trying to lighten the mood. Edward and Alice chuckled beside me and I took another steadying breath and smiled. “There are probably five hundred police officers out there in uniform.” Edward chuckled as he held out his hand for me to take. “Let‟s go try to enjoy the rest of the competition.” Seth grabbed Buddy's leash and I grabbed onto Seth‟s hand, not wanting to let him out of my site. Alice took Tony‟s hand as we walked out of the station, I‟m sure the same thought were running through her mind. As we walked out the door Jasper‟s head perked up and a wide grin stole across his face when he saw Anthony and Seth. Elizabeth also looked relieved before she launched herself into Edward‟s arms. He let go of my hand and hugged her to him. “It‟s okay Liz, Tony‟s fine.” He pulled away from her and brought her face up so that she was looking in his eyes. “What have I told you to do if you get lost?” He tested her, wanting to be reassured that she knew where to go. “Find someone in uniform, if it‟s a store find someone who works there. If it‟s a place like this then find a policeman or fireman.” She recited perfectly before he pulled her back into another hug. “Good. I just wanted to make sure. That‟s exactly what Tony and Seth did and look.” He pulled her away. “They are just fine.” She nodded and looked over at me giving me a small smile. I wasn‟t sure if that was her way of apologizing or if she was smiling at the way she had successfully broke our contact. I really didn‟t want to think of her as doing something so vindictive but I had just witnessed a side of Elizabeth that I did not want to see again. Edward tucked her under his arm and then took my hand, leading us back into the crowd to watch the show. Tony and Seth had a blast watching all of the near misses as the drill team performed for a final time. At the end the boys were jumping up and down in pure delight as one of the officers stood on the seat of his bike and rode the full length of the blocked off street with no hands. “Oh my!” I whispered to Edward in stunned disbelief. “How the heck did he do that?” He chuckled lightly. “He has a throttle button in his hand.” Edward whispered.

“How do you know that?” I asked as I strained my eyes to see what he was talking about. “I treated his injuries when he was practicing earlier in the year.” He said off handedly as I shuddered with the images he had planted in my head. He chuckled lightly and rubbed my arms as he stood behind me. Elizabeth kept her distance from me as the competition ended and we moved through the vendor fair. I wanted to try and mend things between us but there never was a chance. I debated on whether I should say anything to Edward and remembered the last time. He didn‟t want me to keep things from him, especially when it concerned Elizabeth, but I was afraid that it would drive more of a wedge between her and me if I talked to him. “Mom! Mom! Look at these!” Seth said excitedly as he grabbed my hand and dragged me over to a booth that was selling wooden rubber band guns. Edward chuckled lightly but didn‟t follow. “Can I get one, please?” The little con was turning on the charm. I had half a mind to say no for the scare he gave me earlier but then Tony looked up at me too, his green eyes sparkling. “Please Bella.” He begged, along with my son. “I already have one and then if Seth gets one we can have a really good rubber band war.” I immediately started calculating the damage that could be done with said rubber band gun. They aren‟t hard so windows should be safe, unless of course they throw it. But, I‟ll inevitably get hit by rubber bands. Maybe I can limit them to outside only? I sighed in defeat and nodded my head. “YES!” Seth said as he grabbed one and handed it to the guy behind the table. I pulled out my wallet as he put the gun in a brown paper bag and handed it back to Seth. “Now, there are just a few rules with these guns. Gun safety first, boys.” The kind old gentleman said to both boys. They looked raptly at him as if his knowledge was crucial to their survival. “Rule number one. Don‟t ever shoot the dog.” He said as he pointed to Buddy. I stifled a giggle, knowing that even though Seth was always nice to Buddy the thought would probably cross his mind. “Rule number two. Don‟t shoot your mom.” The grin that I had when he told them rule number one turned into a chuckle at rule number two. Both boys nodded their head, completely serious with their new regulations. “Rule number three. Have fun.” He said with a smile. Both boys grinned eagerly as they thanked him. I caught a small wink before we turned away and a small tinge of sadness crossed my mind when I thought about Charlie and how much the man reminded me of him. “Have you looked around enough?” Edward asked as he walked up behind us, startling me. He placed his hand on my hip and kissed my cheek softly. “Sorry, love.” He said as he laced his fingers with mine and kissed my hand softly. “Didn‟t mean to scare you.” We caught up with Alice, Jasper, and Liz watching the Fire Department Bucket Brigade as they did a little show in front of the post office. “Dr. Cullen!” Edward looked over at one of the fireman walking towards him and smiled. “Hello Steven. How are you?” Edward said as he grasped his hand in a strong greeting. “Great, Listen we need another body, you up for it?” Steven asked with a wide grin. Edward looked a bit taken aback until I nudged his shoulder with mine.

“That is unless of course your cushy job has you not up to men‟s work.” Steven taunted, causing Edward to smile wide. “No, I‟m man enough.” He said as he let go of my hand. Alice started jumping up and down clapping wildly, watching her brother get pulled out into the street. Steven walked over to the announcer and took the microphone. “Okay, ladies! We have a special treat.” Steven yelled into the microphone. I watched Edward turn three shades of red as Steven continued his introduction. “We have Dr. Cullen from CHOMP who‟s going to be joining us for this last relay.” The whoops in the crowd were mainly from the women in the audience, which made me smile as I joined in on the whistling. Edward gave me a crooked smile and I swear my knees went weak. “What I didn‟t tell poor Dr. Cullen is that this last drill is to give you ladies a taste of what‟s in our fireman‟s calendar.” Edward blanched at this turn of events but then smiled and shook his head in surrender. “Gentlemen!” Steven yelled into the microphone as he pointed to the other firemen and one by one they peeled off their t-shirts and then snapped their suspenders back in place. The ladies went nuts at all the wonderfully tone flesh that was now on display. My eyes were fixed on Edward, knowing what was coming. “Now don‟t be shy, Dr. Cullen!” Steven taunted and I heard Alice next to me let out a cat call that had Edward chuckling as he started to unbutton his shirt. Steven being the all time tease started singing the stripper song into the microphone, earning more cat calls and a few whistles. I couldn‟t stop laughing. The boys and Elizabeth seemed to be oblivious to the embarrassment that their father was currently going through. They were just thrilled that he was going to be participating in the fun. What shocked me more was when Edward walked slowly towards me, unbuttoning each button slowly. He stopped every few feet and swiveled his hips earning an even louder approval from the crowd. I‟m sure my mouth was hanging open slightly, his eyes fixed on mine as he undid the last button and slid his shirt off of his shoulders. I couldn‟t help it. My eyes traveled down his body and I sucked in a breath at perfection. He had well defined muscles that rippled down his chest and across his stomach. His pants were slung low on his hips and I could distinctly see the V dipping into his jeans. I heard him chuckle, bringing my eyes back up to his and then he threw his shirt at me like a stripper would do. I caught it before it slid down my chest and he turned and walked back over to the other half dressed men. When he reached them he turned and looked over his shoulder at me. I realized that my gaze was fixed on his ass and he totally caught me staring. I blushed hard as he winked at me and then looked down at his rear, letting me know that he caught me. Alice was in a fit of giggles, her camera going off as fast as it would allow. The announcer had gotten the microphone back from Steven and started explaining the next drill as the fireman set up. They rolled out a large scaffold with a ladder attached. At the top were two large 55 gallon barrels, down on the ground and about twenty feet away was a large silver tank filled to the brim with water. The fireman took their places with one of them at the top and three others on the ladder, Edward being half way up. Then there were three others that were going to run the buckets back and forth. The announcer sounded the whistle and they were off. I was completely mesmerized by the scene that played out in front of me. The three „runners‟ ran buckets back to the fireman on the bottom of the ladder that handed the bucket to Edward who handed to the other fireman on the

ladder who handed it to the top man. After he dumped what was left in the bucket into the barrels he would throw the bucket back towards the runners where they would start the process all over again. My eyes never left Edward‟s after the first round played out. The muscles in his arm strained as he hefted the bucket up to awaiting hands. When he twisted back to grab another bucket my eyes traveled down the smooth plains of his chest which tightened and stretched as he took it in his hands. He reached up again and the top fireman missed the handle, sending the water spilling all down the front of him. I felt myself suck in a breath as he laughed, grabbing it and handing it back. The water droplets clung to him and I found myself fantasizing about sucking each drop off of his tone body. I let out a small sigh that didn‟t go unnoticed by Alice. “My brother‟s hot, isn‟t he?” She whispered next to me, not wanting the boys to hear. “Uh…” I couldn‟t get out any more as the three bottom runners took their overflowing buckets and drenched their partners, causing a huge round of applause, whoops, and whistles. The announcer blew his whistle again as the other fireman came down off the ladder and grabbed buckets of their own, drenching the three trouble makers. Edward stood off to the side and chuckled as he ran his hand through his dripping hair. Steven ran back over to the announcer and wrenched the microphone out of his hand with a good natured push. “Let‟s hear it for Dr. Cullen and the Pacific Grove Firefighters.” They all waved their hands at the crowd and Edward came jogging over to us. He shook his head wildly, causing droplets of water to land all over the boys and myself. The boys shrieked in delight as I wiped off the water droplets that landed on my cheek and smiled back at him. Alice managed to step away before he got there like she knew what was coming. Edward, not satisfied with the few drops that landed on me so he wrapped his arms playfully around me. I squealed and tried to push him away but he only held on tighter, chuckling the whole time. After he decided I was good and wet he pulled away and looked down between us. He groaned loudly and I glanced down to see that my white shirt was now wet and the thin lace from my bra was clinging to the fabric, enhancing the outline of it. I felt the heat rise in my cheeks as he tilted my head up and kissed me quickly on the lips. I handed him back his jersey and I disappointedly watched as he slid it back on and buttoned it up. We spent another hour walking down the other side of the fair, browsing through the booths. Alice and Jasper were going out to dinner in Carmel Valley so they agreed to take Buddy home for me so that we could head straight to his house and start dinner. He relented in letting me cook after I asked him if I needed to ask Tony to recount one of his cooking disasters. We arrived at his house and the boys went in to find Anthony‟s rubber band gun while Elizabeth went in her room and didn‟t come out. I decided that I had better let him know what happened earlier between us. “Edward?” “Hmmm?” He asked as he cut the vegetables for a salad. “Liz and I had a confrontation.” Edward stopped slicing the cucumber in his hand and looked up at me, a worried frown creasing his brow. “What kind of a confrontation?” “When we were looking for the boys. She was pretty upset about Anthony being missing so I‟m sure that‟s all it was.” I explained, not wanting him to get angry at her.

“What exactly did she say?” I could tell by the tone of his voice that he was worried. “Well…she accused me of losing Anthony.” I said as I stirred the sauce for the pasta. “Bella, that wasn‟t your fault. I should have been watching them, too.” He said as he laid down the knife and slid his fingers under my belt loops. I nodded my head acknowledging what he said. “I know that. I think she was just upset and I was an easy target.” “I can tell she said something else, what was it?” He whispered as he nuzzled my neck with his nose. I couldn‟t think clearly when he was so close so I put my hand on his chest and pressed him back lightly. “Um…She‟s…” I paused and looked him in the eyes. I didn‟t want to see the hurt in his eyes but I knew that there was nothing I could do to prevent it. “She told me that she didn‟t want me to be her mom.” A flash of something crossed his expression but then it was gone, replaced by sadness. He leaned in and his forehead rested on my shoulder while he held me close. “I‟m sorry.” He whispered. I shook my head and pulled him up. “You don‟t have anything to be sorry about. She‟s having a hard time with the thought of her daddy being with anyone besides her mom. It‟s okay. It‟s to be expected.” I said as he pulled me tighter against him and his warm breath was at my ear, sending goose bumps down my arm. “I know. I just…I‟ll talk to her tomorrow.” He whispered in my ear, making me almost forget what we were currently discussing. I gathered my thoughts at what he just said and I had to have my peace before he might make things worse. “Edward, please don‟t be angry with her. I already laid into her because I was frantic with worry. If anything, I should be apologizing to her.” His lips ran down my ear to the lobe where he pulled it between his lips and kissed softly. “We‟ll take care of it later.” He said against my ear. I dropped the wooden spoon onto the counter and wrapped my hands into his hair pulling him closer. His lips made lazy patterns across my neck and along my jaw line until he reached my chin. I tugged his hair up until his lips met mine. I had wanted this all day. The soft kisses and stolen moments were not enough to quench the thirst that was building for him all day. His hand came up and rested on my cheek as his thumb gently pushed down on my chin asking me to open up to him. I responded and his tongue slipped in between my parted lips, any thought that I had about kids flew away along with my restraint as he pushed me up against the counter. His hips placed firmly between my legs caused us to groan simultaneously, the battle of our tongues increasingly became more dominate. My breathing picked up and found my hands traveling down his back and into the back pockets of his jeans. His grip on my hip tightened as he pulled me closer, grinding our hips together. “What‟s for din…” Anthony‟s voice wafted through the kitchen and Edward broke the kiss, panting slightly and lowered his head back to my shoulder with a groan. I giggled softly at his reaction and turned to the boys who were looking a little stunned, yet very happy. “Tortellini with white sauce, salad, and bread sticks.” Seth expressed his approval and then they darted back out of the kitchen. Edward trailed kisses back up my neck when they were gone.

“Stay with me tonight.” He whispered seductively and there was no mistaken his meaning. I wanted so badly to do just that but I didn‟t want to make things worse with Elizabeth. I shook my head regrettably. “I shouldn‟t.” I said earnestly. “You need to talk to Liz first.” He nodded his head against my neck but I could feel the regret in his actions. “You‟re right.” He whispered but he didn‟t stop his attack on my neck. I playfully pushed him away. “If you keep that up I might change my mind.” I said tartly, grabbing the spoon off the counter and turning towards the stove. His arms wrapped around my waist and he rested his chin on my shoulder. “Soon,” was all he whispered as he kissed me once more and then went back to chopping the veggies. We didn‟t have any more incidents with Elizabeth for the rest of the evening. It was still early when Edward drove us home but with all the kids we didn‟t want to make it too late. He jumped out of the car and helped me out. After he closed the door he took me into his arms as Seth ran for the house. “Saturday, you‟re mine.” He whispered huskily as he placed small kisses on and around my mouth. I wanted so badly to know what he had planned for the next weekend. “Edward, please tell me what we‟re doing next weekend.” He continued to suck my lips lightly into his mouth. “Surprise.” He whispered breaking his mouth from mine for a moment. I growled low in my chest and he chuckled against my lips ending his assault. “Trust me you don‟t want to ruin this surprise.” He smiled crookedly at me and then walked around his car. I hate surprises.

~*~

Chapter 18 Beware of the Blue Edward Cullen “Elizabeth?” I asked for entry as I gently knocked on her bedroom door. I heard a shuffle behind the door and waited a moment before I slowly opened it. She was already lying in bed; the pink flowered quilt was pulled all the way up to her neck. Her eyes were closed but I knew that she wasn‟t asleep. I walked over the edge of her bed and sat down. She didn‟t open her eyes at the movement, feigning sleep. I let out a long sigh and decided that she was going to listen to what I had to say whether or not she acknowledged it. “Sweetheart, Bella doesn‟t want to replace your mother.” I whispered as I brushed her hair away from her forehead. “She only wants to be your friend. I always thought that you were like your mother.” Elizabeth let out a little sniffle but still didn‟t open her eyes. “Your mother would always give someone a chance when she first met them. She would never pre-judge and would always look at who that person was on the inside.” Elizabeth‟s forehead wrinkled, squeezing her eyes shut tighter and I could tell that she was fighting back tears.

I slipped my hands under her arms and pulled her onto my lap. Her small hands wound around my neck as I held her close. Her quiet sobs were tearing at my heart with every tremor of her small body. I really didn‟t know what else to say. I couldn‟t be mad at her for not wanting Bella around. Liz was loyal and it was going to be almost impossible to get her to understand that she was not betraying her mother by letting Bella into our lives. She‟s nine years old. That is much too young for any child to have to deal with the issues she‟s now facing. I held her close, the scent of her mother‟s shampoo assaulting my senses as I buried my face in her hair, letting her cry until she lay exhausted in my arms. Her sobs soon turned to hiccups and then her even breathing let me know that she had fallen asleep. I don‟t know what more I could‟ve said to her. She has a preconceived notion that Bella wants to eradicate her mother‟s memory. That couldn‟t be farther from the truth. Once Liz realized that, then those barriers she has set up would crumble. I hope. I kissed her forehead softly and tucked her back into bed. Her cheeks were stained with her tears and my heart broke a little more at the pain that she was going through. The way that she was lashing out was her only self defense and I found it hard to be angry with her. I sighed inwardly as I closed her door, leaving it open a crack. I walked into the kitchen, not turning on any lights to grab a cold beer out of the refrigerator. I jumped and spun around when I was half way there and the light flicked on. Alice stood smugly in the doorway, leaning against the frame. I let out a calming breath and turned back towards the refrigerator. “How was dinner?” I asked, pulling out a beer and offering her one. She shook her head as she opened the cabinet and pulled out a wine glass. “It was great. You should take Bella there sometime.” Alice commented as I handed her the bottle of wine and she poured it into her glass. “Where did you go?” I popped the top off of my bottle and took a long draw. “Jasper took me to the Running Iron.” She said as she handed me back the bottle of wine to put away. “He‟s thinking about buying it.” I looked at her, surprise evident in my expression. “Isn‟t it more of a local tavern?” I asked, wondering if Jasper was changing direction in his business plan. She laughed lightly at my observation. “Yes, it‟s a restaurant and saloon but I think he likes it because it reminds him of Texas.” I frowned slightly, confused at how he could go from running elegant restaurants to a local tavern. “Why is that?” “It‟s got a western type feel to it with lots of old nostalgic cowboy decor. There are boots hanging from the ceiling for Pete‟s sake.” She shook her head with a tiny laugh. “The food was really good and it‟s a local hot spot. He thinks with a little updating it could have a larger draw.” She shrugged lightly as she took another sip from her glass. “Anyway, it's always a good idea to diversify your investments.” “How was your evening with Bella?” Alice asked with a sly smirk on her face. I couldn‟t help the grin that graced my lips as I told her about dinner and I teased her that Bella could give Jasper a run for his money when it came to cooking. “I‟m really glad that she seems to be what you‟ve been waiting for, Edward.” Alice said with happiness in her voice. “Don‟t worry about Liz, she‟ll come around.”

“Did she say something to you?” “Yeah. She said Bella yelled at her but after some prodding I got out of her why. I let her know that if she talked to me like that I would have smacked her.” I grinned knowing that Alice‟s bark was worse than her bite when it came to my kids, but if it got the point across then I was fine with her method. “She‟s got a lot of pride and it‟ll be awhile before she‟ll admit that she wasn‟t right, but she knows what she did was wrong.” Alice reassured. I couldn‟t help but think that we‟ve had this discussion too many times. It was probably time to get Elizabeth into counseling. “Are you going to be around Monday?” I asked Alice when I remembered the delivery that would be arriving. “In the morning, why?” “I‟m having a new mattress delivered.” I said casually, hoping that she didn‟t pick up on the reason behind my purchase. “Why are you buying a new bed? Isn‟t your current one pretty new?” Alice asked with a confused look on her face. “Lumpy.” I said, hoping that my one word lie would be enough to get her to drop the subject. I should have known better. “How long have you had it?” She asked with a small smirk playing on her lips. “Um…five or six years.” “Don‟t they have a ten year warranty?” She asked, her grin growing larger. I shrugged and guzzled the rest of my beer down in one gulp, excusing myself to my room before she could draw any more conclusions. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The week passed quickly by. My new bed arrived without any fanfare from my annoying sister, thankfully. She kept her comments to herself but there were always the knowing winks whenever Bella was over. I had to work back to back shifts to take the whole weekend off. I wanted everything to be perfect for our “date”. I had arranged for dinner and made sure that all of the small details were taken care of on the few hours I had off. Every evening since our day together, Bella had come over and made dinner. Unfortunately, I had to eat and run in most cases but it was still nice having her taking care of us. I didn‟t ask her again to stay the night, knowing that we would have our time together soon. She felt like a more permanent fixture in our lives and Elizabeth seemed to have fallen back into her acceptance of having Bella and Seth around. Saturday morning I was woken up when warm fingers traced along my bottom lip. The smell of strawberry shampoo filled the space between us. My lips curled up at the thought of Bella in my room, on my bed. I felt her body press against my side as she leaned down and pressed her lips to mine. My hands automatically went into her hair, holding her closer as I felt her soft tongue sweep across my bottom lip. I opened my mouth to her with a small moan of approval. Our tongues rubbed softly against the other, building in intensity. I shifted her so she was laying down the length of me, my morning wood pressed into her thigh. Thankfully, the comforter padded most of the obvious desire I had for her. She pulled away and I opened my eyes to see her beautiful face smiling down on me.

“I think that has got to be my favorite way to wake up in the morning.” I whispered sleepily. “Afternoon.” She corrected as my eyes darted to the clock beside the bed. I groaned, realizing that I needed to get up now to make it to the game on time. “Late night?” She asked as she started to pull away so I could get up. I held her tighter and kissed her forehead. “Yeah, I was in surgery until almost three this morning.” I said with a yawn and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. “I don‟t want to get up.” I whined as I buried my face into her hair. She laughed lightly and pushed herself up. I noticed the bandage around her hand and thought that the stitches should have been removed days ago. I had been working so much that the few moments I saw Bella each evening were focused on other things and not her hand. “Can you grab the medical bag on the other side of the bed?” I asked as I sat up. She gave me a questioning look but did as I asked, scrambling over the bed and then threw the bag next to me. “Come here.” I whispered. She sat on the bed beside me and I gently unwrapped her hand. Everything had healed nicely and I felt pretty proud of myself that there wasn‟t going to be a huge scar. I grabbed the small scissors and tweezers, clipping the threads I gently pulled them out of her flesh. “There, good as new.” I said as I brought her hand up to my face and kissed the palm tenderly. “I‟m glad that there isn‟t going to be much of a scar, if any.” I whispered, kissing her hand one last time. I looked up at her and she smiled softly back at me, before the mischievous glint returned in her eyes. “We‟ve got a lot to do today.” She said playfully. I grumbled as she hopped up and pulled the covers off of me with a whoosh. The cold air made me shudder and I looked over at her when I heard her intake of breath. Bella‟s eyes were wide and completely fixed on my obvious erection. I smirked at her as she blushed a brilliant shade of red and quickly turned around, muttering an apology. I chuckled as I stretched and then rolled out of bed. Walking behind her I wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her shoulder. “Nothing to be embarrassed about, love.” I whispered, pulling her hair back and kissing her neck. She laughed lightly and turned in my arms. Her warm brown eyes sparkled up at me; the embarrassment that I saw a moment ago was completely gone. “Alice told me to pack an overnight bag so I am assuming that our date today will not end until tomorrow?” She asked, trying to clarify and if I knew her at all, she was trying to get more information about what we‟d be doing. I smiled down at her and nodded, then kissed her gently on the mouth. Her soft lips sought after mine eagerly as I pulled her closer to me. Her hands traveled down my stomach and I grabbed them both before they made their final descent. I groaned into her mouth as I pulled away, breaking our kiss. “However much I want to continue this, I need to get dressed so we can get to the game on time. It doesn‟t look good if the coach is late.” I told her as she giggled and stood on her tip toes to place a sweet peck on my cheek. “Go. I‟ll get the kids ready.” She turned quickly and then was out the door, leaving me to deal with the massive problem of squeezing my hard on into my too tight Levi‟s. I let out a frustrated sigh and thought about the evening planned ahead. My doubts were always present as I planned every detail of tonight‟s date. I worried that I was pushing things too quickly or that maybe I assumed too much in our relationship. Those same thoughts entered my mind as I got dressed but whenever I pictured Bella in my arms or kissing her softly it felt right so I pushed the doubts away. After shaving off the scruff of the last twenty-four hours I brushed my teeth and splashed some water in my hair

to try to tame the unruly mess it had become overnight. After fiddling with it for a few minutes, I gave up. My mother would always send me back in to try to look more respectable but it never lasted for more than ten minutes. Just long enough to get out the door where she couldn‟t do anything about it. I chuckled lightly to myself at the memory. I missed my parents terribly. They had been a huge support during that first year after Tanya‟s death. Esme loved Tanya dearly and it was like losing one of her own children when she died. Esme flew back and forth from Alaska almost on a weekly basis to help us through the tragedy. I had some consolation in knowing that we would be seeing both of my parents for Alice and Jasper‟s wedding. My mother said that she would be coming up before then to help Alice with some of the preparations. I guess I was totally oblivious to the entire behind the scenes work that went in to a wedding. Rosalie, Alice, and Tanya planned ours and I just basically showed up. I was heavily into my studies at the time but now I was kind of feeling like I should have put more effort in to knowing the details. If I ever get married again I‟m not going to make the same mistake. “Dad! Bella said we gotta go!” Tony yelled as he opened up my door and gave me a stern look. I chuckled and ruffled his hair as I walked downstairs to meet the rest of my household bustling around, trying to get everything ready. “Hiya Coach!” Seth said with a big lopsided smile. “Hey there, Storm. You ready for the big game?” I asked Seth as Bella handed me a cup of coffee along with a bagel and started pushing me out the door. “Yep, I've been practicing all week.” He said proudly as I grinned and pinched Bella lightly on her stomach to get her to stop pushing me out the door. She giggled and pulled away from me, slapping me on the arm. “We‟re going to be late and I am not going to be responsible for being a bad example.” She huffed as she pinched me back. I chuckled loudly and hurried the kids to the car. “Where‟s Ms. Alice?” Seth asked in a slightly shy voice as he climbed into the backseat. I wasn‟t sure so I looked over at Bella. “Alice went to pick up Jasper but said that she‟d be at the game before it started.” Bella answered him and rolled her eyes as I closed her door. When we were on our way I turned on the radio and found the Disney Channel which made Elizabeth squeal and sing a long to some girlie pop song. Both boys groaned in unison in the back seat. I looked over at Bella and hoped that it was enough of a distraction that they didn‟t hear what we were talking about. “What was the eye roll for?” I asked quietly. She looked back at the kids and then looked at me with a smile on her face. “Seth has a bit of a crush on Alice.” She whispered and then sat back in her seat. “He hasn‟t stopped talking about her for the last two weeks.” I chuckled and looked back at the kids in the back seat. Elizabeth was still oblivious that her impromptu karaoke was driving her brother crazy. Or, maybe she did realize it. I chuckled at the thought. Seth was following along with Anthony‟s annoyance and I couldn‟t help but smile. Payback boys, maybe next time you‟ll think before reading her diary. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The game was long and grueling. All I wanted was for it to end so Bella and I could start our date. By the last inning we were up by one run, Tony had pitched his three innings and Seth had done a fantastic job at keeping any runners from making it to base when he pitched his innings. I put James on the mound and he was having a hard time keeping the ball in the strike zone, however we had two outs by some fantastic field work by the boys, we just needed one more out to end the game. I could hear Mike in the stands berating his son and I wanted to lay into him and let him know that children don‟t perform better with that kind of encouragement. My only hope was to pull James out of his anxious state by talking to him. I called a timeout and jogged out to the mound. Tony started to run out but I waved him back. I squatted down in front of James and asked him if he was all right. I could see the tears start to well up in his eyes and he wiped them away quickly. James nodded but wouldn‟t look me in the eyes as his father started a whole new line of insulting comments because he noticed him wiping the tears away. “Stop being a cry baby and pitch the damn ball!” Mike yelled. I shook my head and turned back to James. “Don‟t listen to him. I want you to watch me and Tony, drown out every voice. Tony will give you a signal at what pitch to throw. If you don‟t like it let him know.” I put my hand on his shoulder and he looked up at me. “You can do this, kid. Don‟t let anyone tell you that you can‟t.” I watched as his confidence level grew and he stood a little taller, giving me a firm nod. I walked back to the dugout and the umpire called the game back to order. I was standing on the sidelines when I felt a looming presence behind me. I watched carefully as James threw his next pitch. It was right on, so I yelled my encouragement and then turned to face Mike. “What did you tell him?” “That‟s between us, Newton.” I growled and turned back as James threw an outside pitch. I groaned at being distracted and not giving him the encouragement he need. Mike stepped next to me at the opening in the fence and I moved farther to the side, hoping that James would fix his gaze on me and not his father. “It‟s alright, James! Next one will be in!” I encouraged as I listened to Mike grumble behind me but he kept his mouth shut. James threw the next pitch and it was in, however the umpire called it as a ball. It happens all the time. Umpires aren‟t perfect and the rules are that the ump has final word. “That‟s okay! It was a bad call, James!” I encouraged, letting the umpire know that I wasn‟t happy but I was going to let it go and stand behind his decision. I wish I could have said the same for Mike. In the next instant Mike was in the umpire‟s face yelling at him and calling him blind. Tony scooted quickly away from the angry adults in front of him and looked over at me. I motioned for him to go stand by Seth at first base and then I stood back and watched as Mike dug his own hole. Emmett, who was in the dugout, was right next to me with a huge grin on his face. “Blue isn‟t going to take that for long.” He chuckled next to me. I smirked as I watched the scene play out. There wasn‟t anything I could do and honestly, I wanted to see the umpire put Mike in his place. The only way I would interfere is if it came to blows, otherwise I was going to watch with a small bit of satisfaction as the ump threw him out of the game. Mike's face got even redder as he screamed at the umpire. The ump pulled off his face mask and stared down Mike as he threw every insult and dirty word he had in his vocabulary. I cringed at the thought of the children having to listen to his mouth but watched with approval as the ump stepped back and with a quick jerk of his

thumb over his shoulder, gave him the sign that he was gone. “You‟re outta here!” He yelled and then braced himself for what could possibly be a fight. Emmett and I took a few steps forward just in case we had to pull Mike off of him. Emmett‟s grin was huge as he leaned over to me. “Twenty bucks says the old man takes down Newton.” I shook my head and smiled. “I‟m not stupid enough to take that bet.” I said with a small chuckle. Mike had ran out of obscenities to yell so he started kicking dirt on the umpires shoes. “That ain‟t cool.” Emmett said as we jogged over to Mike and pulled him away. Kicking dirt on an umpires shoe was worse than spitting in his face. We pushed him back until he was through the gate. “Be a fucking man and get out of here.” Emmett growled when Mike started to push past us. Mike, not wanting to tangle with Emmett, sneered at us both and then stomped off to his car. When everyone saw that he was leaving, a huge cheer came from all the parents in the stand. Emmett started chuckling under his breath and high fived me before going back to the dugout. I walked back over to my position as the ump jogged over to me. “I‟m sorry Coach Cullen but that asshole had me pissed at the way he was heckling your player. “He‟s lucky I didn‟t bust his ass.” I couldn‟t help but smile and pat him on the shoulder. “It‟s okay. I was about to let him have it myself. Can I have a minute to talk to my pitcher?” The umpire nodded and then ran back over to home base, waving Tony back to his position. I went back out to James who looked sheepishly down at the ground. “James, don‟t worry about that.” He looked up at me and I could see the embarrassment in his eyes. I wanted to go grab his father and knock some sense into the Jackass for putting his kid through hell. “Listen, you only have to throw two more strikes and this game is over. Do you think you can do it?” I asked giving him an encouraging smile. He nodded and I gave him a high five before I jogged back off the field. I could here Tony filling him with affirmations and I felt a strong sense of pride in my son. He and James didn‟t get along, but on the ball field he laid all of those things aside for the good of the team. James wound up and threw a perfect strike. The parents in the crowd were all on their feet encouraging him on and I could almost see the confidence drip off of him as he threw his last pitch and ended the game with a win. All he needed was people to believe in him. We had a team meeting right after the game in the dugout. When I asked all of the boys who should get the game ball a loud, unanimous “James” was yelled by every boy. James looked extremely proud as he accepted the ball from Emmett and then we broke them up and sent them all home. Seth and Anthony went right to work gathering up all the equipment as I walked over to my girls on the bench. Liz ran up and jumped in my arms, planting a big sloppy kiss on my cheek. “Congratulations, Daddy.” She sang as she wiggled out of my arms and ran to help the boys. I walked over to Jasper, Alice, and Bella who were still sitting on the bleachers laughing quietly to themselves. “Are all the games this entertaining?” Jasper asked as he shook my hand in greeting. “Not usually, but we tend to have this happen at least once in the season.” I said as I held a hand out to Bella. I pulled her up and wrapped an arm around her waist, tugging her closer. Alice stood up and started bouncing excitedly.

“Bella is ready to go. Your bags are in your car already so you can leave now if you want. We have Jasper's SUV so we can take the kids home and you too can get out of here.” I never wanted to kiss my sister as bad as I did at that moment, but that would mean I would have to release Bella so instead I nodded my thanks. “Don‟t hurry home.” She sang as she trotted over to Seth and Tony and threw a bag over her shoulder that was almost as big as she was. Jasper groaned loudly as he ran over and wrestled it out of her hands. Bella and I chuckled and then I turned and looked into her eyes. “Are you ready?” I asked and she smiled shyly at me and nodded her head. “Let me say goodbye to the kids first.” Bella said as we walked towards the cars with the kids. Before they got into Jasper's Expedition they came over and hugged both of us. It didn‟t surprise me when Anthony hugged Bella around the waist and smiled up at her. “Have fun on the...” “Tony!” I cut him off before he could ruin the surprise. I smiled at him and shook my head. “It‟s a surprise.” I reminded him as he smiled back at me and wrapped his little arms around my waist. “Have fun.” He whispered before letting go. Liz came over and hugged me and then turned to Bella. She shocked both of us when she wrapped her arms around Bella‟s waist and hugged her too. Things seemed to be going smoother between Bella and Liz but there was still a distance in their relationship, which I hoped would eventually be mended. Seth grumbled his way over to his mother and she wrapped her arms around him while he stood completely still, his arms at his side. Bella chuckled and whispered something in his ear and he grimaced before wrapping his arms around her and kissed her cheek. “I love you.” She whispered and Seth melted like butter and buried his face in her shoulder. I thought I heard a mumbled „I love you, too‟ before he pulled away and quickly hopped into Jaspers vehicle. Alice pushed us towards my car with a light shove and I grasped Bella‟s hand in mine. I opened her door for her and she slid into the leather seat and smiled up at me. I couldn‟t help myself as I leaned down and kissed her plump lips softly. I pulled back and her head fell back to the seat with a far away smile on her face. She was so beautiful and in that exact moment I knew that what I had planned was going to be amazing. I wanted nothing more than to put that smile on her face for the rest of the evening and maybe a few times in the morning, too. She didn‟t ask me once where we were going as we drove up Highway One towards Monterey. We exited the freeway and drove down to the commercial wharf and parked. “Are we having dinner on the Wharf again?” She asked as a small smile played at her lips. I shook my head and gave her a crooked smile. “You‟ll see.” I said as I came around and opened her door. I grabbed both bags out of the trunk and took her hand as I tugged her down to the boat docks. When we reached the gate, I pulled out my key and slid it in the lock. “Edward?” She asked, not understanding what we were doing down by the boat slips. I led her down the docks, keeping a hold of her so she wouldn‟t trip and end up in the water. We stopped in front of the Esme and I looked over at her as she finally started to understand. “This is your boat?” She choked out and I grinned at her and nodded.

“Welcome to the Esme.” I said as I climbed aboard and turned back and offered my hand to her to help her up the small ladder. Bella hesitantly placed her hand in mine and I hoisted her up and onto the deck. She looked a little apprehensively at me and I couldn‟t help the big grin that stole its way across my face. “You do realize that I‟m uncoordinated, don‟t you?” She asked as the boat shifted slightly and she grabbed a hold of me for balance. I leaned down and kissed her lips softly. “That just means I‟ll have to keep you in my arms for the remainder of our time together.” I said as I swooped back down and claimed her mouth again. This was going to be a night to remember.

~*~ An Umpire is often referred to as Blue, don’t ask me why because I don’t know. Maybe because their uniforms are sometimes blue. Maybe in another league they are called Red or Orange or Chartreuse.

~*~

Chapter 19 SOTB Edward Cullen I pulled away from our kiss and smiled down at Bella. Her eyelashes were gently fluttering against her cheeks before she slowly opened her eyes and smiled back. I helped her across the rigging and onto the deck as she looked around in stunned silence. “It‟s beautiful.” She whispered, running her hand across the boom. “She.” I corrected as she turned and smiled slyly at me. “Does that mean I need to be jealous?” Bella asked with a glint in her eye. I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, kissing her neck softly. “Hardly.” I whispered against her soft skin. She brought her hand up and ran it in my hair. I had thoughts of taking her below and not emerging until tomorrow but I looked out across the sky and saw the sun slowly making its descent. If I wanted to make it to Santa Cruz before dark we needed to get going now. I kissed her neck one more time and took her hand, leading her to the deck below. “Let me show you around and then we‟ll get out of here.” “Where are we going?” She asked softly. The apprehension was obvious in her voice.” “Have you ever sailed before?” I avoided her question as I helped her down the stairs. She shook her head quickly. “No, I‟ve never been on a sailboat, just a large research vessel.” She said apprehensively. “Then we should get you some Dramamine, smaller boats tend to rock more.” I was glad that I had checked to make sure we had some when I had prepared the boat earlier this week. I went to the cabinet in the galley and popped open the safety latch, grabbing the box of medication and handing her one tablet, remembering that she

didn‟t handle medications well. She looked at me with doubt in her eyes. “It‟ll help you from getting seasick. Until you know how you‟ll react to the motion it‟s better to take them to be safe.” I explained as I handed her a bottle of water and she swallowed them down. “You don‟t get seasick?” She asked and I laughed lightly. “Uh…yeah, the first time I was on a boat I spent the whole time with my head hanging over the railing.” I admitted, hoping that she wasn‟t going to be the same way. She grimaced slightly and I smiled trying to ease her mind. “It doesn‟t bother me anymore. Some people never have a problem.” I shook the box before putting it back in the cabinet. “These will help, I promise.” I reassured. She nodded and then walked further into the cabin. “It‟s…She‟s beautiful. What kind of wood is this?” She asked as she ran her hand across the counter. “Most sailboats have Teak. It weathers better in the salty air than other woods.” I explained as she smiled back at me and I took her hand again. “So, this is the living area and the galley.” I pulled her to the bow of the boat. “There are two berths up front” I said as I lead her forward and pushed the curtains aside on both sides to reveal a set of bunk beds and a single bed on the other side. She nodded and bent down to peak her head in the small sleeping area. “So, a berth is a bedroom.” She mused quietly. “It‟s tiny.” She said as she pulled back out. “I can‟t imagine you squeezing in there.” I chuckled and shook my head. “That‟s where the kids sleep.” I pulled her towards the aft. “This is the head.” I said as she stepped into the small bathroom and poked her head into the shower. “The toilet and the shower are in the same spot?” She asked with a cute wrinkle in her brow. I laughed at her bemused expression. “Yep, there‟s not a lot of room in a thirty-six foot sailboat.” I pulled her back into the small hallway and pushed open the door to the bedroom. “This is where we‟ll sleep tonight.” I said, pulling her into the small space to stand. The underlying hint of what was to come was evident and she smiled at me before looking around the small room. In the master berth was a Queen size bed with a small cabinet for a closet. There was a built in trunk along the starboard wall and one side of the bed. A windowed hatch was in the corner of the ceiling letting in the natural light of the day. I looked back at Bella and her gaze was locked on me. She pulled my hand behind her back and placed her hand on my shoulder, tipping her head up to meet my eyes once again. “It‟s perfect, Edward.” She whispered as she leaned closer and placed a kiss along my jaw. I groaned loudly as I pulled her closer to me and ran my hands through her hair. I kissed her lips softly and pulled back to see her bottom lip jut out into a pout. I brought my thumb back to trace her bottom lip, turning it into a small smile. “We need to shove off or we won‟t make our destination before sunset.” I whispered, not wanting to pull away from her but that nagging part of my brain kept reminding me of what I had planned. She let out a long sigh and had enough foresight to pull me back above deck. “You didn‟t tell me where we were going.” She said as we climbed back on deck.

“You‟ll see, oh impatient one.” I said with a smile. She let out a long sigh and then smiled sweetly back at me. “So, what do you need me to do?” She asked eagerly. I shook my head and pulled her with me to the helm. “It‟s pretty much all electronic.” I said as I flipped the switch and the engine started without a hitch. The Esme purred quietly and I smiled to myself, thinking that it was worth the pretty penny I paid. “I always thought it took a whole crew to sail a boat.” Bella said in awe as I slowly backed the boat out of the slip. “I couldn‟t sail this by myself without the help of modern technology.” I said as I smiled down to her. “I can override everything manually, but with Anthony and Liz being children I needed a boat that would allow me to do it alone if I had to.” We motored slowly through the harbor until we hit the open Bay. I flipped another switch and the jib unfurled. Looking over at Bella I noticed she looked slightly confused at my actions. “The jib is that small sail in the front of the boat. It stabilizes the boat and helps steer. It‟s usually up whenever we‟re moving in open water.” I explained as she nodded her head and looked back at all of the buttons and switches at the controls. I pressed another button on the control panel and it hoisted the mainsail. When the wind caught the sail I killed the engine. “Okay, there‟s just one thing I want you to be aware of.” I said as I pointed towards the mainsail. “You see the boom?” “What‟s a boom?” She asked as she looked towards where I was pointing. I chuckled lightly, reminding myself that there is a whole different language when you‟re on a boat. “It‟s the part of the mainsail that is parallel to the deck. If the wind shifts then I‟ll need to adjust the direction of the sail. If you‟re not paying attention and it comes around fast it‟ll knock you off the boat.” She looked horrified as I said this. I couldn't help but laugh a little. “Don‟t worry, I‟ll shout „Coming about‟ if you‟re near the boom.” She nodded, thankful that I wasn‟t going to send her flying overboard. I held out my hand to her and had her step in front of me, taking the wheel between her fingers. The slight breeze blew her hair into my face and I swept it to the side as I rested my chin on her shoulder. “It looks like we‟re heading towards Santa Cruz?” She asked and I could hear the smile in her voice. I nuzzled the crook of her neck and brought my lips up to her ear. “Because, that‟s where we‟re going.” I said in a whisper against her ear. I took it between my lips and gave it a small kiss. A shiver ran through her body and I smiled at the effect I had on her. I pulled away and turned to set the auto pilot before pulling her down with me onto the padded double lounge chair behind the helm. She curled up against my side as I gently played with her hair. We didn‟t say anything; instead we enjoyed the sun against our faces and the quiet of the boat as it glided easily across the ocean waves. After awhile I could feel her deep breathing and I smiled to myself remembering that she was a light weight. It didn‟t surprise me that the Dramamine had made her fall asleep. It actually worked out well, she could get a nice nap in before dinner and it would give me time to get everything set up. I held her for awhile longer, watching her sleep until we were about half way across the bay. I slowly slid out from under her and carefully laid the back of the chair down until she was flat. I grabbed a throw blanket from below and laid it across her still form and then turned to go below deck. I pulled out the dinner that was dropped off by Alice before the game today. I had her swing by Favaloro's and had Nino make up some of his famous cannelloni. I stuck the food into a small pan and covered it with foil then popped it into the oven. Next I fixed a salad then gathered all the things I would need to set the table.

I climbed back up onto the deck and checked on Bella. She hadn‟t moved, so I went below and finished getting dinner ready. There were freshly baked rolls from the bakery next door to Favaloro‟s and I made a mental note to thank Alice for thinking of the small things. I had noticed the small touches that she had added throughout the cabin. Like a dozen roses sitting in a cubby by the port hole, tied down so as not to tip if we hit any large swells. She brought the nice dishes and wine glasses from the house. I chuckled when I remembered the plastic Barbie and Transformers plates that were currently residing in the cupboard. Not so romantic. I flipped off the oven, hurried up to the deck and set up the fold out table in the cockpit. Looking around, I noticed that we were coming up to our destination so I went back to the helm and flipped off the auto pilot and lowered the mainsail and jib. I felt warm hands slide under my shirt and around to my stomach as Bella pressed her body up against mine. I rubbed one hand against hers over my shirt. “Did you have a nice nap, love?” I asked as I turned and kissed the top of her head. I felt her nod against my back. “I‟m sorry. I just couldn‟t keep my eyes open any longer.” I chuckled and took a minute to tease her. “It‟s because you‟re a light weight. That Dramamine knocked you out.” I flipped on the engine and motored closer to the Santa Cruz harbor. “How‟s your stomach feeling?” I asked over my shoulder. Bella slid under my arm so she was pressed against my chest as she looked up at me. “I feel fantastic.” She said with a small smile and reached up on her tip toes and kissed my lips softly. I gave her another quick peck as we motored up to where I thought would be a good spot to anchor, it was far enough away from shore to have privacy but close enough to see the lights from the Boardwalk. I cut the engine and then hit the buttons to release the anchor. “Are you hungry?” I asked as I motioned her towards the table that I had set up in the cockpit. She nodded as she slid into her seat and then I went below and brought up our dinner. After everything was set I sat down next to her. The wind had almost completely died down and the sun was just starting to set, sending the sky into pink and orange tones. “Let me guess.” Bella said as she tasted the Cannelloni. She closed her eyes and savored the bite, then opened her eyes and I saw a small sparkle. “Favaloro‟s?” I smiled and nodded. “I wasn‟t about to ruin our date with my cooking.” I joked as I poured her a glass of wine and handed it to her. She held her glass up to mine and I smiled bringing mine up to hers. “To a beautiful night.” She said clanking her glass with mine. “To a beautiful new relationship.” I whispered back as I took a long sip from my glass, afraid to look at her reaction to me putting what we had been dancing around for the last few weeks into words. I pulled my glass away and saw that her eyes were fixed on mine. She leaned across the table and I met her halfway as our lips met in a slow kiss. I pulled her out of her seat and into my lap as I deepened our connection. She sighed softly into my mouth when our tongues met. My hand traveled down her thigh, pulling her closer while my other hand wrapped into her hair. I wanted to devour her at that moment but she pulled away, placing a soft kiss upon my nose. She turned and took my fork off of the table and fed me something off of my plate. I wasn‟t paying attention to what she was placing in my mouth, because all I could taste was her on my tongue. We finished our dinner with her securely on my lap, feeding both of us with the fork in her hand. I couldn‟t keep my hands from roaming up and down her legs and back. It took everything I had in me to not throw her over my shoulder and finish out the evening below deck.

“Is that the Santa Cruz Lighthouse?” Bella asked, pulling me out of my caveman thoughts. I nodded and stood her up so we could move to the other double lounge chair at the bow of the boat. I grabbed the bottle of wine while she took both of our glasses and we sunk down onto the lounge. I poured us both a glass and handed one of them to her, then she curled up against my side and I heard a contented sigh that made me smile even wider. “Are you familiar with a Cecaelia?” I asked Bella as we watched the sun disappear into the ocean. “Do you mean a sea witch?” She asked with a small chuckle, her face inches from mine. “You‟ve been watching too much Disney, but yes, an octopus-mermaid.” I whispered softly into her ear when she turned back to look at the lighthouse on the hill. “There is a legend that is told about the first keeper of the Lighthouse.” “Oooo, I love ghost stories.” She said excitedly, eager for me to continue. “This is a love story.” I said as I ran my hand up and down her arm. “Please tell.” She encouraged as she took a sip from her glass and turned to set it on the deck. “A Cecaelia rescued the captain of a doomed ship that crashed upon the rocks and brought him to shore. He was the only survivor. She watched over him but hid when he woke up, fearful that he would be repulsed by her appearance.” I whispered against her hair and then set my glass down on the other side. “When he came to, he went in search of food, eventually stumbling across her weeping on the beach. She was beautiful but he was frightened by her tentacles for legs.” I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer. “She assured him that she meant him no harm, explaining that she rescued him, but in the process was separated from her people. She helped him to find food and made medicine that helped him gain his strength back. During this time the captain began to fall in love with her. She came to be known by him as Cilia.” Bella looked up at me and laid sweet kisses along my jaw. I tried to remember where I was but I was too wrapped up in what she was doing to care. “He fell in love with her?” She asked and I nodded, squeezing her shoulders softly. “Uh…yeah.” I stammered remembering where I was. “Having also fallen in love with him, Cilia agreed to go into town, disguised as his mysterious wife 'walking' on her tentacles in a long black dress to disguise her aquatic origins. Stories among the townsfolk and fishermen quietly began to circle about the captain's new wife, that she is frequently gone for long periods of time, she almost never appears in public, and she was sometimes seen drenched in water.” I took a deep breath, and looked out over the ocean as the light to the lighthouse began circling, lighting up the shoreline. “Eventually, a small group of fisherman kidnapped Cilia. Days later, they anonymously revealed to the captain where his wife was. She was chained to the lantern in the top of the lighthouse, where she had been humiliated and badly beaten. When the captain arrived to rescue her, Cilia's injuries were so severe that she died in his arms.” Bella sucked in a breath and looked up into my eyes. “How awful.” Bella whispered. I nodded in agreement before returning to my story. “Stricken with grief, he carried her dead body into the water, intentionally drowning himself in the process. Days after this happened, a ship crashed during a stormy night near the village where the captain and Cilia lived. When

the rescue party arrived, they discover that all of the sailors aboard, among them the ones who kidnapped Cilia, had been tortured and mauled, literally torn limb-from-limb. Since then they say that the captain has been seen carrying Cilia up and down the stairs in the lighthouse, moaning for his lost love.” I whispered the last part and felt Bella shudder beside me. After a few minutes her beautiful brown eyes looked into mine. “Do you relate to that story?” She asked quietly, almost reluctantly. I rubbed her arms letting her know that her question didn‟t bother me. “I did.” I admitted quietly. “I heard of the legend a short while after Tanya had died. I envied the captain for being able to end his pain. He took the easy way out of his grief.” I looked away, not wanting to see the pain that I‟m sure was in her eyes. “What kept you going?” “Honestly? Elizabeth and Anthony.” I said as I finally looked down at her. The pain I expected to see wasn‟t there, instead she looked upon me lovingly and it felt sincere. “Tell me more about her.” Bella whispered and a wave of longing flooded over me, but this time it wasn‟t for my long gone wife but for the beautiful woman in front of me. “She was beautiful. I‟ve seen the pictures on the mantel.” She said with a small smile. “Yes, she was. But, more importantly she was a loving mother. She told me that her most valued time was the moments she could glimpse into our children‟s souls. She spent all of her time creating opportunities for them to develop who they were. She never pressed for what she wanted them to be but instead guided them down the path and watched patiently as they discovered it for themselves. They were young, but she helped mold Anthony into the compassionate child that he is. And, even though Liz can be stubborn and tenacious she is strong and loyal just like her mother.” I finished and then waited for the pain that usually accompanied speaking about her. It never came. “I think I would have liked her.” Bella said and I chuckled at her observation. “Alice thinks she would have loved you.” I said as I remember my conversation with Alice the other day. “Thank you.” I whispered and kissed her forehead. “For what?” She asked and I tilted her face up towards mine so that she was looking into my eyes. “For letting me talk about Tanya and not making it uncomfortable.” “I‟ll never try to replace Tanya in your heart or with your children. I know that you loved her deeply. I just hope that you can make a small space for me.” Her eyes shifted to my lips and I felt a sudden urge to kiss her again. “I already have.” I whispered as I took her lips in a soft kiss. Her hands wound into my hair and I pulled her onto my lap, her legs, straddling on either side of mine. I ran my hand up her leg and kneaded her thighs between my fingers before moving up to the hem of her shirt. I ran my fingers under her shirt along the waistband of her jeans as our kisses grew more intense. I leaned forward, pushing her up to a sitting position and slid both of us to the edge of the lounge chair. I stood up with her, without breaking our kiss and she wrapped her legs around my waist. She locked her ankles and my hands went to her rear, pressing her closer to me. I broke the kiss so that I wouldn‟t trip over the rigging as I made my way to the cabin. Her warm little mouth moved to my neck and I growled low in my chest when she bit my ear softly. I made it down the stairs without

falling and squeezed both of us through the doorway to the Master berth. Setting Bella on her feet, my mouth found hers again with a searing kiss. I felt all of the waves of desire for her that I had been holding back come washing over me. Her fingers danced across my chest and I didn‟t realize she had all of the buttons undone until she was pushing my shirt off of my shoulders. She pulled back and I hated the loss of contact. I reached for her again but she placed her hand on my chest pushing me back until I was sitting on the bed. I watched in awe as Bella slipped the shirt over her head and let it fall to the ground. She kicked off her sandals and made short work of undoing the button and zipper to her jeans, sliding them over her slender hips. She stood before me in little white satin and lace panties and a matching bra and I had never seen anything sexier. I reached out for her and she stepped into my embrace. My head rested on her breasts as I placed kisses along her stomach, her hands were in my hair. She pulled my head back by my hair until I reluctantly leaned back to look at her. “Edward,” She whispered and I realized at that moment that I loved hearing my name roll off of her lips. “Make love to me.” My heart soared at this magnificent woman asking me to make her mine. I nodded and she bent down and kissed my lips softly. I kicked off my shoes and pulled her down on top of me as I slid up the bed with her, never separating our kiss. Our legs were a tangled mess as I ran my hands down her back. I undid the clasp to her bra and she pulled up a fraction and let it fall onto my chest. Hurriedly, she pulled her arms out and tossed it to the floor, returning her mouth to mine and pressing her hardened nipples to my chest. Her mouth became more insistent against mine and I kissed her harder, our desire building in intensity. She pulled her legs up on either side of me and sat up. I went to reach for her but she slid her body down mine until she had the buttons to my pants undone and I was kicking them off in a rush. She had a wicked smile as she looked up at me and hooked her fingers in the elastic of my boxers and slid them down to the floor, pulling my socks off while she was there. When they were gone she slipped back up my body and I moaned when she stopped and laid kisses along my length. I quickly grabbed her and flipped us over. “Not tonight, love.” I whispered against her lips and felt a small huff come from her. “Let me worship you like you were made to be worshiped.” I begged. She nodded, pulling me down to assault my mouth again. I chuckled lightly at her eagerness, then proceeded to place open mouthed kisses down her neck, across her collar bone and down between her breasts. I kissed my way to her awaiting nipple, circling my tongue around it and then pulling back to blow cool air across it. Bella shivered under me as her nipple hardened even more. I wrapped my lips around her pebbled flesh and felt it soften with the warmth of my mouth as she moaned softly and buried her hands in my hair. Her skin was so soft under my hands. I traced the curves of her breasts, down her stomach, switching to taste her other nipple. My fingers traced over the last remaining piece of clothing she had on, slipping under the elastic as my mouth traveled down her stomach. “Please, Edward.” She urged, lifting her hips as I pulled them down her legs slowly. “You are so beautiful, Bella.” I breathed against her stomach as I traveled further down her body, my nose running through the soft curls that covered her sex. She released my hair and I watched as she trailed her hands back up her stomach and over her pert breasts. I groaned as I dipped down and ran my tongue over her heated core. Bella‟s back arched and her hands went into her hair as I teased the swollen bud, taking it tenderly between

my teeth and softly sucking. She tasted amazing and all I wanted was to be lost in this pleasure forever, tasting and smelling her sweet juices as they dripped out of her. I parted her folds with my fingers and carefully traced her opening before sliding it into her. She gasped at the feeling and I continued massaging her walls and sucking her sensitive bundle of nerves, adding another finger to increase her pleasure. I curled my fingers upward and found the spot that I knew would bring her quickly to her release. I massaged her G-spot with every stroke inward. Her breathing came quicker and I got harder thinking about her approaching release. I felt her walls start to contract and I let go of her bud to look into her face when she went over the edge. Her eyes locked with mine and she let out a little cry as she rode out the waves of her climax. When her shaking had slowed to small shudders I pulled out my fingers slowly and kissed her one last time before crawling up her body. A lazy smile graced her swollen lips and I leaned in to kiss her softly. She attacked my mouth, pulling me on top of her until I was settled between her legs. My throbbing member was pressing into her but I wanted to see her eyes when I entered her. “Isabella.” I whispered against her lips, causing her to look up at me. I brushed a stray lock of hair that had fallen across her forehead away. Her arms snaked around my waist and her fingers slipped down further, digging into my rear, pushing me further into her. “Edward.” She pleaded with her eyes. I held her gaze as I slid slowly into her. She was warm and wet for me and I found I had to think of something besides where my lower half was now buried, so I focused on her beautiful eyes. When I was fully encased I held still for a moment trying not to lose it like a teenager. She smiled sweetly up at me and I kissed her mouth softly as I slowly started to move. Her hips came up to meet mine with every thrust forward and I was lost in the feel of her completely surrounding me. I broke our kiss and buried my forehead into her shoulder, kissing her collarbone lightly as I picked up the pace. Her breathing became more erratic and I smiled to myself knowing that she was close again. I was a bit relieved because I wasn‟t going to last much longer either. I trailed my hand down her body and over her hip until I hooked it around her knee and brought her leg higher over my hip. We both groaned at the angle that I was driving into her. It was deeper and after a few pumps into her I felt her constrict around me so I let go, feeling the climax coming hard and fast after fighting it off for so long. We hit our high at the same time, her fingers dug into my lower back as she held me to her and we rode out the waves of pleasure that encompassed us. We lay panting in each others arms as I tried to keep some of the weight off of her. She kissed slowly up my neck and pulled me down on top of her. I shifted slightly; pulling out of her so that most of my weight was pressed up against her side. I opened my eyes to find her staring intently into mine. She reached up and stroked my jaw and I grasped her hand, kissing her palm. Any words that we thought to say seemed to diminish the amazing experience that we just shared so we didn‟t say anything. Instead, we lay in each other‟s arms kissing and exploring one another with our hands and mouths until we were both lulled to sleep with the gently rocking of the boat.

~*~

Chapter 20

Boat Lovin’ Bella Swan-Black I awoke to a tickling across my nose and lips. Without opening my eyes I brought my hand up quickly and ran my knuckle under my nose scratching the itch that had brought me out of my blissful slumber. I let my hand fall back to the pillow above my head and sighed deeply, trying to find the place that I was a moment ago. I felt that same tickle run down the underside of my arm and the covers shifted until that same tickle that I felt before circled around my nipple. I opened my eyes slowly and squinted at the flood of light that was coming into the cabin from the above hatch. While my eyes were trying to adjust I felt that same tickle run down my stomach and over my now exposed hip. When it shifted to the inside of my thigh, my eyes shot open to find Edward wickedly smiling up at me from the foot of the bed wrapped in a green terry cloth robe. I pulled the covers to the side and saw that he had a blood red rose in his hand that he slowly trailed down my leg before raising it to his nose and inhaling its scent. “I love how your lips are the same shade as this rose, but they're twice as soft.” Edward said with a distant smile before he crawled up the length of my body. He hovered over me for a moment before bringing the rose up to trace the side of my cheek. I closed my eyes and savored the sensation. “Good morning, love.” He whispered before leaning down and kissing my lips softly. Memories of the previous night came flooding back with the way he was touching me. My arms wrapped around his back and I pulled him down so that I could feel the length of him against my body as he deepened the kiss. A soft chuckle escaped between his lips as he pulled away and smiled down on me. “I have breakfast waiting above deck if you‟re hungry.” He said as he started to pull away. I groaned and gripped his hips, not letting him move away from me. “I‟m only hungry for you.” I growled as I raised myself up to attack his neck. He gave in and sank back down against me with a small moan, his forehead resting on the pillow beside me as I worked my way from his ear to his shoulder, pushing the robe away as I went. I shoved on his shoulder, making him flip over onto his back as I worked the ties to his robe. My kisses ran across his collarbone as I slipped my hands into his robe and pushed it away from his chest. His hands went into my hair, massaging my scalp as I descended down his perfectly sculpted chest. When did he find the time to workout? Because a body like this needed constant attention. My mouth slid across the defined muscles of his pecs until it reached his abs. I couldn‟t help running my fingers over them, feeling every indentation. A small shudder ripped through his body as my mouth followed the trail of my hands downward. I could feel his erection against my exposed breasts as I slid further down. His hand twisted in my hair when he realized what I had planned, his other hand fisted into the sheets. “Bella.” He groaned, as he lessened his grip, looking down on me with smoldering eyes. “You don‟t have to do this.” He barely whispered and I could tell from his voice and the look in his eye that it was hard for him to be the gentleman. He wanted this. With that realization I dipped my head down until my lips brushed against him. “I don‟t think I‟ve ever wanted to taste something so badly in all of my life.” I whispered against him, causing him to twitch against my lips. I opened my mouth and brushed my tongue along the underside of his length; he groaned and threw his head back into the pillows. I smiled to myself at his reaction as I wrapped my lips around his tip and swirled my tongue around him, tasting the remnants of our love making from earlier. I looked back up

at him to find his eyes fixed on what I was doing to him. I felt a moment of embarrassment from the intensity of his gaze but it vanished when I took him fully into my mouth and his eyes rolled in pleasure before locking with my eyes again. I never found much pleasure in performing this kind of foreplay before. However, as I set a rhythm with my mouth and watched him as he watched me I felt myself getting aroused. Every grunt and moan that came from him made my skin flush and the ache between my legs grow. I rubbed my legs together, trying to get some relief as I continued to take him in until he hit the back of my throat. “Bella.” He choked out and I looked up at him with the tip of his erection still in my mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment before making a spinning motion with his finger. I quirked a brow at him as I pulled my mouth off of him with a pop. He made the spinning motion with his finger, like he wanted me to turn around. “Bring your legs up here.” He said as he patted the bed by his side. Realization dawned on me and I couldn‟t help the wicked grin that stole across my face. I climbed over his legs and lay down beside him, my legs up by his chest as I went back to pleasuring him with my mouth. His hands slid down my legs and he grabbed my hips pulling me closer as he rolled us both onto our sides. One of his arms slipped under my hips as the other pushed my leg up to open me up to him. He slowly ran his hand down my inner thigh, building the anticipation with ever inch he got closer to my heated core. His fingers slipped between my folds and I moaned loudly around him. His arm tightened around my hip, pulling me closer as his other hand flicked across my swollen bud. I felt his hair tickle the inside of my thigh before I felt his warm mouth cover me. In my frantic need to feel more, I pressed my hips harder against his mouth. The feeling was indescribable as he sucked and nipped at my moist center while I continued to work up and down his length. Our hips worked in unison as we both lost ourselves in the fervent need for release. I felt him pull back slightly, my clit locked between his lips as he groaned and let my flesh slide between his teeth. The muscles in his hips tightened and I was lost in the sensation of his hot liquid shooting down my throat. He let out a feral grunt as he clenched his muscles with one final thrust into my mouth. His breathing was ragged against my thigh while I continued to drink every last drop. He let out a long sigh of satisfaction before delving back into my awaiting heat. I was so close before he had stopped that just a few flicks of his tongue had me on the edge again. I pulled him out of my mouth and laid gently kisses along his slowly shrinking member as he brought me to release with only his talented mouth. My hands went around his hips as I rode out the powerful orgasm, holding him closer to me. When I released my hold on him, he pulled back and kissed softly across my thigh and up my stomach until he was hovering over me. He leaned down on his elbows and kissed my lips softly. “Are you ready for breakfast yet?” Edward asked as he nuzzled my neck, causing me to giggle. I nodded against his hair and I could feel him smile against my shoulder. He climbed off of me and held his hand out to help me out of bed, then handed me a plush, white robe and I looked at him quizzically. “Do you always have women‟s bathrobes lying around?” I asked teasingly, yet I couldn‟t help but wonder that maybe I wasn‟t the first he had brought to the boat. “Alice.” He said, easing my fears with a twinkle in his eye. “Was that a hint of jealousy I heard in your voice?” He asked with a smirk. I shrugged, slightly embarrassed and turned quickly away as I slid the robe on. He took my shoulder and turned me around slowly. The playfulness from a moment ago was gone as he tilted my head up to look into my eyes.

“Isabella.” He whispered quietly. “You are the only woman that I have been with since my wife died. I haven't even felt the desire to be with another woman since then. Not until you came into my life.” He said as his hand cupped my cheek and brought my mouth to his in a sweet kiss. I felt the truthfulness of his words as he poured every emotion he was feeling into this kiss. I felt the strong stirring of emotion that I recognized immediately as love building within my chest. I gripped him closer and enthusiastically returned the love and desire that I felt in my heart. He pulled away and looked down at me, looking so peaceful and at ease, a sharp contrast from when I had first met him on the beach. I searched the depth of his emerald eyes for a sign of the love that I was feeling. I wanted so desperately to tell him but knew that now was not the time, I needed time to digest the implications that would come from such a declaration. He broke our eye contact and smiled slightly as he took the ties to my robe and tied them together. Something had changed. I could almost feel the shift in his mood and wondered if it was for the better or if he was starting to regret what we had shared. He let go of my belt and quickly pulled his robe together, tying up his own before taking my hand and leading me back upon the deck. He had placed a crisp white tablecloth on the table in the cockpit that we had sat at for dinner. There was a bucket of champagne and a carafe of orange juice along with several containers of different kinds of fruit. He led me over to the table and I sat down, after I was situated he popped open the champagne and slipped in beside me. “Mimosa?” He asked as he picked up my glass. I nodded happily as he poured some orange juice into my glass and then filled it up with champagne. “I haven‟t had a Mimosa since my mother‟s wedding.” I said as I eagerly took the glass and drank it down a little too quickly. I hadn‟t realized how thirsty I had become. He chuckled lightly and filled it up again for me, handing it back. “Are you trying to get me drunk Dr. Cullen?” I teased as he leaned closer and growled in my ear. “I like it a lot when you call me that.” He said in a husky whisper and then nipped at my ear. A small shiver ran down my spine as I made note to call him that later. “So, what do we have?” I asked as I pulled the napkin off of my plate to reveal a couple of crepes. “Did you make these?” I asked, looking over at him slightly shocked. He shook his head sheepishly as he laid the napkin in his lap. “Alice, again.” He said with a nervous laugh and ran his hand through his hair, making it stand on end. I placed my hand on his thigh and rubbed it for a second, trying to relay my appreciation for how much thought he had to have put into this trip. “So, what do we do?” I asked as I scanned all of the containers on the table. He reached over and started popping the lids off, revealing all kinds of delectable items. “First you need the cheese mixture.” He said as he put a dollop in the center of each of our crepes and then pushed it around. “Then you roll it up, kind of like a burrito.” He said as he rolled them both up. “What‟s in the cheese mixture?” I asked as I dipped my finger into a spot of it that was on my plate and brought it to my lips. When he didn‟t answer me, I looked up at him as I pulled my finger out of my mouth. His eyes were

fixed on my lips and I watched, amused, as he shook his head and tried to answer my question. “Um…cottage cheese, cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla.” He said as he reached for another container. “Then you top it with whatever fruit you like.” He said as he scooped out the glazed apples onto his crepe. “I wasn‟t sure what you‟d like so I got strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, and apples.” I pointed to the apples that were in his hand and he smiled as he handed them over. “I should have guessed.” He muttered under his breath and then reached for the can of whipped cream and squirted some over the top of his breakfast. He held up the can and asked with his eyes if I wanted any. I nodded and then he reached over and squirted some across my crepe. I couldn‟t resist the urge to tease him a little bit so I dipped my finger into the fluffy cream and brought it up to his lips. He opened automatically as his hand took a hold of mine and proceeded to sensually suck off the cream from my finger. I groaned when I felt his finger touch my lips, leaving a smear of the sweet stuff on my lips. He released my hand and swooped in before I could lick it off and gently sucked it off of my bottom lip, pulling it into his mouth. He leaned back and smiled that crooked grin that made my heart melt before turning back to his breakfast. The big tease. My mind couldn‟t stop racing at the thoughts of what we could do with that whipped cream can and a lot less clothing. I cleared my throat and picked up my fork, trying to focus on something other than the incredibly sexy man sitting next to me in nothing but a robe. I took a bite of the cheese crepe and couldn‟t help the small moan that escaped my lips at the taste. “These are delicious.” I said as I took another bite. We ate in comfortable silence as he filled up my glass for the third time. I could feel the bubbles start to go to my head but I didn‟t feel the need to stop drinking it. Edward refilled his glass with straight champagne and took a long sip before turning to me and kissing my neck. The bubbles from his drink were bouncing off of his tongue as he kissed along my neck, causing me to giggle. “That tickles.” I said as I pulled my chin to my chest and pulled away. He grabbed me tighter and took another sip before trailing a wet path down my neck to my collarbone. I let out a sigh and let my head rock back onto the cushion as he trailed kisses back up my neck. I could seriously get used to this. “Let‟s move to the lounge chair.” He whispered in my ear as he stood up and took my hand, grabbing his empty glass and the champagne, he pulled me to the bow of the boat. He sat me down in the lounge chair as he poured a full glass of champagne. I pulled my legs under me and looked up at him as he took a long drink out of his glass and then smiled seductively at me. I was beginning to love that look. He walked behind the lounge and lowered it so that I was lying flat and then he sat on the edge, his hands reaching for the ties to my robe. I quickly scanned the surrounding area, a bit worried that we‟d be giving someone a show. “Don‟t worry, we are far enough away from shore and the closest boat is too far away to see anything.” He whispered as he pushed open my robe, exposing my chest to him. I uncurled my legs out from under me as he brought the glass to his lips and then dipped down to kiss across my collar bone and then down to the curve of my breasts. Edward pulled back and smiled lazily at me before bringing the glass up and pouring a small stream of the cold liquid onto my stomach. I gasped at the shock of the cold and shivered slightly as it pooled in my naval. He quickly set the glass on the deck then leaned over and dipped his finger into the puddle and lazily traced patterns across my stomach. I laid there watching his every move, transfixed at how unbelievably sexy he was and how he made me feel just as sexy. The little bubbles were driving me crazy as they popped against my skin, making every nerve seem heightened. He dipped his head down and sucked up the collection of champagne on my stomach,

then proceeded to lick where his fingers had previously been. I had had enough of his teasing so I tugged on his hair until he looked up at me. Quickly, so as not to lose my nerve, I pulled myself up and pushed him back into a sitting position, his legs on the deck. He looked quizzically at me but I just smiled in response as I tugged at the ties holding his robe together. I couldn‟t seem to get enough of this man. When his robe was open, I could see that his little display of affection had the same effect on him as it did on me. I crawled into his lap, my knees straddling his hips, his erection pressed firmly against me. He wrapped his arms around me, under the robe that was still secured on my shoulders and let out a small groan as her peppered my neck with kisses. “Oh, Bella. I need you again.” He said as I slid up and down his length, teasing him with the promise of more. He grasped my hips tightly in his hands and guided me up to his tip. Without warning, he plunged me down onto his thick member. I let out a small squeak as he held us together, him fully sheathed in me. “Are you okay?” He asked with a groan as he brushed the hair back over my shoulder and kissed me softly. “More than okay.” I said in a little above a whisper. Edward slid his hands from my hips to my rear, squeezing gently before he moved them down my legs to each knee and pulled my legs so that they were wrapped around the back of him. I shifted on him, eliciting another groan from him as he took a hold of my hips and gently eased me back, guiding me in a wave like motion up and down his shaft. The depth in which he was hitting sent waves of pleasure through me every time he sheathed himself to the hilt inside of me. His hands massaged softly across my rear and my lower back with every thrust. I pushed him back slightly and he pulled his arms from me and put them behind him as he leaned back, giving me a glorious view of the rippling muscles that moved with every thrust. I ran my hands up and down his chest as I continued riding him in the way that he had previously showed me. His head lolled back and I quickly leaned forward and kissed the straining tendons in his neck as I felt my orgasm come on quick and hard. I ground into him and literally saw stars as my climax racked my body. Just as I went over the edge his hands were on my hips again, guiding me back and forth, helping me to ride out the pleasurable waves of ecstasy. When I started to come down he slammed me against himself hard and then my name escaped his perfect lips as he released inside of me. Wrapping his strong arms around me, he pulled me close and buried his head into my shoulder. We sat there in each others embrace until our breathing had returned to normal. He pulled away from me quickly and looked up at me with a scared expression in his eyes. I started to feel the panic and my eyes widened, wondering what could make him react like that. He buried his head back into my shoulder and held my closer, shaking his head slightly. “I‟m so sorry, Bella.” What in the hell could he be sorry about? I started to panic as I pulled back and forced him to look at me. “Why? What could you possibly be sorry for?” I asked as I stared into his remorseful eyes. “I didn‟t think about protection.” He said and I couldn‟t fathom what he was talking about. “All this time all I could think of was burying myself into your warm…” He shook his head again and then rested it on my shoulder. “I‟m so sorry.” He whispered again. It finally dawned on me what he was saying and I couldn‟t help but laugh. It started out as a small giggle that turned into a persistent cackle. Edward looked at me slightly bemused. “That wasn‟t the reaction I was expecting.” He murmured but then pulled me closer, burying his face back in my

shoulder. I got control of myself and then pulled him up to look at me. “I took care of that part. I‟m on the pill.” I said as I kissed his lips softly. The wave of relief was obvious as he suddenly relaxed under me. “I still should have thought about it.” Edward chastised himself as he collapsed onto the lounge chair, pushing my legs flush with his and then pulling me down with him. I lay down on his chest, straddled against him while he was immersed inside of me, still somewhat hard. I wiggled just a little bit sending his hands to my hips to still me from moving. “None of that or you‟re going to be sore tomorrow.” He said and then gently massaged my hips. I groaned as he worked out the tiny knots that had formed in my hips from the strenuous workout he had just put me through. His hands moved to my lower back and he earned another groan from me when he hit another sore spot. “Oh love, you‟re all knotted up.” He said sympathetically as he pulled me off of him and laid me face down on the lounge chair beside him. “Hang on. I know what‟ll fix this.” He hopped up and adjusted his robe before disappearing below. A few minutes later he came back up with a bottle in his hand. “What‟s that?” I asked as he sat down beside me and started to pull my arms out of my robe. “It‟s suntan oil.” Edward stated as he pulled my robe down, exposing my back. “Sorry, it‟s the closest thing I could come up with in the middle of the ocean.” I pulled the robe off of my shoulders and brushed my hair over the side as he squirted a large amount on his hands and proceeded to rub it into my back with long, strong strokes. His hands worked at my shoulders and along my spine sending me into massage heaven. I wondered briefly where he had learned how to do this and then I figured that being with a doctor had many perks. Thinking of the things his healing hands could do gave me a small shudder. “Are you okay? Was that too hard?” He asked as he let up on the pressure. “No, it‟s perfect.” I said as he slowly pulled the robe the rest of the way off of me. I sighed in content and found that I couldn‟t care less that I was fully exposed to anyone who may pass by on boat. I thought I heard a small growl before he bent down and whispered in my ear. “You have the most perfect ass.” He said as his hands traced the line under my cheeks and then slid back up to the fleshy part. “Beautiful” he whispered before moving down my legs. After a few minutes he ordered me to flip over which I happily obliged. Edward sat down on the deck as he took each of my feet into his hands and gently rubbed every inch. He placed a kiss on the top of my foot before moving up my legs and administering the same attention that he did to the backs. I groaned and looked up at him slightly embarrassed as his hands slid across my thigh but then stopped before he touched me where I wanted him again. He smiled wider and moved over my hips to my stomach. “I‟ll massage that part again later.” He said with a lopsided grin. He didn‟t pay too much attention to my stomach as his hands slid up to my breasts, feeling the weight in his hands and circling my nipples until they became taut. He moved slowly massaging the top of my breasts and then into my shoulders. I felt like jell-o when he was finished as he leaned down and gave me a quick kiss on the nose. “Now would you like to go ashore?” Edward asked as he pulled my robe back over me. I felt my lip jut out on its own accord and he chuckled at my expression.

“Can‟t we just go back down below and find something to do?” I asked with a seductive smile, hoping he would take me up o my offer. He looked like he was considering it before he leaned down and kissed me. “There‟s nothing more I would like to do than to keep you in bed this whole trip.” He said as he kissed me hard, letting me feel his desire before he pulled away again. “However, I promised the kids that if they were good for Alice I would bring them back something from the Boardwalk.” “Well, we can‟t disappoint the kids.” I said with a small huff and quickly pulled the robe back on. Before I could move off of the lounge he caught me around the waist and pulled me close. “That doesn‟t mean that we have to stay long.” Edward said, with the promise of more to come.

~*~ Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk is a small theme park on the beach, directly across the bay from Monterey/Pacific Grove. Pictures

~*~

Chapter 21 Wish Upon a Star Bella Swan-Black Due to the small confines of the shower, I was showering alone, which probably was a good thing since I couldn‟t seem to keep my hands off of the gorgeous man who was currently sailing us into the Santa Cruz harbor. I sighed inwardly as I hurried through my showering with the trickling water. When Edward had gotten out he apologized for the lack of pressure but said that was just one of the things you sacrificed for alone time on the beautiful bay. Honestly, what he said didn‟t register at the time because I couldn‟t seem to drag my thoughts away from sucking each drop of water that was beaded on his chest. The towel that was slung low on his hips didn‟t help my concentration, so when he told me how to work the shower, I just nodded my head. Now I was paying for my lack of attention because I‟m sure he mentioned a trick to get the water to come out faster. I climbed out and slipped on a new blue bikini that I had bought last summer but never had a chance to wear. I glanced at myself in the mirror and noticed every blemish that was on my body. There weren‟t a lot but I knew every mark that magically appeared since having my son and I couldn‟t help but feel slightly self conscious of wearing something so revealing. I turned, reaching for my bag as I felt a pair of cool hands slide around my stomach. “I love that color against your skin.” He whispered against my neck, making me shudder. He chuckled lightly and pulled away. “We‟re docked, so as soon as you‟re ready we can catch a cab down to the boardwalk.” Edward said as his eyes raked down my body, making me blush at the intensity of his stare. He shook his head as if to clear it and then smiled up at me. “I should probably wait on deck because if I stay down here…” He trailed off suggestively, making my already inflamed cheeks burn hotter.

After he left me alone I leaned back over and pulled a sun dress out of my bag. I slipped it over my head, and then pulled my sandals on. I ran the brush through my hair and flipped the wet tresses up into a messy ponytail and then headed for the deck. Edward smiled at me when I emerged from below and held out his hand to help me down the ladder. Once we were on the docks, we quickly made our way to the harbor master's office so we could check in. It was only a few moments later until we climbed into a cab. It was a short ride down to the Boardwalk. When we arrived Edward helped me from the cab and I stood in awe of the sight before me. There was an older style, wooden roller coasters that looked slightly intimidating and then several modern coasters. A huge Ferris wheel that was set on the back drop caught my attention immediately and I started to feel slightly giddy. Edward squeezed my hand and I looked up at him, a sparkle in my eye. “What is it?” He asked looking over the park, trying to figure out what had me so excited. “The Ferris Wheel!” I said with a squeal and little skip in my step. He chuckled and pulled me closer to his side. “I was hoping we could hit the Giant Dipper.” He said as he nodded towards the menacing wooden roller coaster. My stomach automatically dropped at the thought of my impending death. He laughed again at my expression. “What?” He asked, the small smile still playing against his full lips. “I don‟t really…I mean, I will but…” I let out a long sigh. “Can we just start off small?” I asked, pleading with him with my eyes to understand that those kinds of rides weren‟t really my cup of tea. Thankfully, he caught on to my distress over his idea and nodded his head. “Whatever you want, Bella.” He said with a smile as he brought the back of my hand up to his lips, kissing it lightly. I squeezed his hand to let him know that I appreciated his sacrifice. The Boardwalk was a vibrantly colored place set directly on the beach, overlooking the Monterey Bay. The nice thing about it was that it was open; anyone could walk through from the beach and enjoy the attractions, games, and ambiance of the carnival like setting. We strolled hand in hand as we walked through the entrance gates and over to the ticket booth. Edward ordered a roll of tickets after we decided that there weren‟t too many rides that we wanted to ride. Then took my hand again and set out towards the Ferris wheel. There wasn‟t a line and we quickly made our way onto the ride. Edward wrapped his arm around me and pulled me up against his chest as we climbed higher and higher into the sky. “It‟s beautiful,” I said when we stopped at the top and had a perfect view of the bay. I felt Edward gently tug on my ponytail. “Yes, very beautiful,” he whispered, his breath warming the skin on my neck. “But, is doesn‟t compare to you.” He placed a kiss under my ear and then took it between his lips, nipping gently. The flattery was a bit much too bear but I couldn‟t deny the sincerity in his voice, so I let it go. We spent most of the afternoon talking as we walked up and down the Boardwalk, eventually making our way to the beach where we found a nice spot away from the crowds and sat down. We talked about our kids, our hopes, and our dreams for their future. More than once I realized that his plans included Seth and me. We made our way back up to the Boardwalk and passed by the Coconut Grove and Neptune‟s Kingdom. Edward looked like a kid in a candy store as he pulled me into the front doors. The place was loud, the sounds of the full arcade surrounding us. Towards the back was a pool hall but what he seemed most excited about was the air

hockey table. I laughed at his enthusiasm as he plugged the machine full of quarters and grinned back at me. “Do you know how to play?” He asked as he slid the paddle over his side of the table. I smirked at him and nodded my head. “Of course, and I‟m going to kick your butt.” I said challenging him. He chuckled and I thought I heard something resembling an “isn‟t going to happen” before he shot the puck across the table at me. This was one game that I felt somewhat confident in. I could always win against Jake and most of the boys from La Push when we played at the local tavern. I eventually found that he was much more skilled than I would have given him credit for. We played back and forth, point for point and at the end we were tied. I had the puck and I bounced it off the side as hard as I could as it zipped towards Edward‟s goal. He easily deflected it and sent it sailing my way. We kept up a string of volleys until he eventually slammed it straight into my goal. “No!” I yelled as I tossed my paddle into the middle of the table. I watched him actually dance in his spot at beating me. I couldn't help but snarl at him from across the table. He looked up at me, slightly amused, and quickly came up to me, taking me into his strong arms. I pushed against him not wanting to let him get off so easily. I admit it, I‟m a bad sport. He chuckled and held me tighter as I continued to push at him. “That was sooo not fair.” I whined as he leaned in and kissed my lips. “Do you want to hang out and hit the laser tag?” He asked, completely ignoring my little rant. I had to give it to him, he didn‟t gloat. If that would have been Jake I wouldn‟t have heard the end of it for weeks. I melted slightly in his arms and instantly forgave him for being too good at everything. “No,” I answered his question hoping that he wouldn‟t be disappointed. “I‟d rather come back with the kids sometime and do the whole experience. Laser tag, bowling, miniature golf.” I ticked off the things that we could do together and he nodded. “Yeah, Tony was pretty disappointed that he was going to miss out.” Edward said and I could tell that he wanted them here, too. I didn‟t think I could want him more than I did at that moment. There was just something extremely attractive about a man that treasured his children. We made our way back out into the open sunshine and decided we should try to get the gifts that he had promised the children. We wandered into the small shops and found a shell bracelet for Elizabeth and then eventually came to the game booths. The carnies were trying to get our attention as we strolled passed the games but Edward seemed to be looking for something specific. We passed several, shaking his head as he declined to play whatever game. A smile suddenly lit up his face as he quickly pulled me to a game booth on the end. “Hey there sweet mama.” An older gentleman in the game booth greeted me as we walked up. I smiled, knowing that he was teasing and quickly looked up at Edward who also had a grin on his face. I was relieved to find that he was taking the innocent flirting well. Jake would have hit the ceiling with a comment like that, even if it was from a man old enough to be my father. “Are you going to make your old man win you a prize?” He asked me as he sized Edward up and grinned at him. “I don‟t know.” He said as he continued to tease. “He looks awful scrawny to me and it takes someone with an

acute knowledge of a baseball to win at my game.” “I think he can handle it.” I said with a small wink at the old man before turning to Edward. “Do you think you can win me a prize, Eddie?” I heard a small growl come from his chest as he pulled out his wallet and threw down a five. Then he looked back at me with a wicked glint in his eye. “Which one do you want?” He asked confidently as he waved to all of the stuffed animals lining the shelves. I found the largest one there was and pointed at the pink bear. “That one,” I said and smiled innocently back at him, knowing that it would probably take a few times of perfect pitching for him to get it and secretly hoping that he would eat that confident grin. “Well pretty lady, that one would be pretty hard to get.” The carnie said as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I don‟t know if your man is up to the challenge.” “Give me the balls, old man.” Edward growled, causing the worker to chuckle as he placed three balls in front of Edward. He had to knock down three metal looking milk bottles and I knew from experience that it was almost impossible to get all three to fall down at the same time. Edward gently moved me back out of the way and then wound up. He threw the baseball so hard that it crashed into the top bottle and knocked it clean off the table. However, the other two sat their untouched. The carnie snickered and shook his head. “All brawn, no aim.” He said as he set up the bottles again for Edward. Pure determination flashed across Edward‟s eyes as he picked up the next ball and concentrated on the target. I had to smile at the similarities I saw in Edward and Tony at that moment. He whipped his arm back and threw at the pillar of bottles only to knock down two while the last one teetered on the edge of the table. The carnie clicked his tongue in disappointment. “Come on, man! Doesn‟t your girl deserve that pink bear?” He said, egging Edward on. “I‟ll tell you what...” The carnie said as he motioned for Edward to come closer. “You throw down another five and if you can knock those three bottles down in this next shot, I‟ll give you that pink bear.” He said as he winked over at me. Edward nodded throwing down another bill and picked up the last ball. He threw it up lightly, catching it as he thought about what he was going to do. I couldn‟t do anything but stand and watch him, mesmerized by the graceful movements of his arms as he caught the ball. If I was being honest with myself, I‟d admit that watching him throw that baseball was so arousing to me. The look of confidence on his face and the way his arms flexed as he moved was a huge temptation. It was hard not to grab him by the pant loops and drag him back to the boat. I watched with baited breath as he threw the last ball. I couldn‟t drag my eyes away from the way his backside tightened as he threw the ball with all of his strength. The carnie clapped his hands and grabbed his microphone, announcing that Edward had won me the teddy bear. Edward‟s smile was contagious as he handed me the spoils of his conquest, but all I wanted was his lips on mine. I figured a reward for winning was the perfect excuse to have him in my arms again so I wrapped my free arm around his waist and pulled Edward closer. His eyes were sparkling with pleasure at winning the cheap teddy bear and I quickly found his lips as my hand slipped into the back pocket of his khaki shorts. He groaned when I pulled back, shifting my lips to his ear so I could tell him exactly what he was doing to me.

“I think it‟s time to go back to the boat. You have no idea how much of a turn on that was to watch.” I whispered huskily. He squeezed me closer to him and brushed his lips against my neck, a small chuckle escaping his lips. “Down girl.” He teased and then kissed my temple. I couldn‟t resist the suggestion that those two words held. "With pleasure,” I said slyly. I heard his intake of breath as the chuckle died in his throat, the full intent of what I was implying realized. He growled low in his chest, causing it to rumble, I could feel the very obvious reaction in his shorts at the picture I had planted in his head. “Isabella,” He warned, but still continued to hold me tight. “You‟re playing with fire.” I pulled back but innocently grazed my hand over his prominent erection causing him to shudder at my touch. “Tease.” He accused with a smile to let me know he was not upset. I shook my head and leaned up on my tip toes until my lips brushed against his. “It‟s only teasing if you don‟t plan on following through.” I said as I pulled away with what I hoped was a sexy smile on my face. He tensed even more and I tried to stifle the giggle that was building up, as I realized that the cool, calm, doctor was flustered. We spent another hour playing games until we had won the prizes for the kids. Edward played the balloon dart game until he won Seth a stuffed snake. He chuckled when he handed it to me saying that now Seth wouldn‟t have an excessive need to bring anymore reptiles into the house. If only. I challenged him to the water balloon game and beat him, much to his dismay. I picked out a small stuffed bear with a Giants jersey for Anthony. “Are you ready to head back to the harbor?” He asked and I tried not to look too eager when I nodded my head. “I figured we could get an early dinner and then start back to Monterey.” I groaned inwardly at the thought of going back home. This trip had been amazing and I didn‟t want it to end. However, I had to be at work bright and early so we really needed to get back tonight. We quickly found a cab and after dropping off our winnings at the boat we walked back up to Johnny‟s Harborside Restaurant. Edward asked the hostess for a small table in the back, away from the crowd. He placed his hand at the small of my back and led me to our table. Dinner was quiet and intimate but with an underlying nervousness as well. I wondered how things might change when we made it back to the real world. “Edward, what are the plans when we get home?” I asked as the waiter cleared our dinner plates. “What do you mean?” He asked as he laid his napkin on the table and looked slightly nervous. “I mean with us.” “Oh…uh, that depends on what you want.” “I don‟t want to pressure you into what I want.” I whispered, feeling self conscious at his avoidance of answering my question. “Well, do you want to continue to…” He paused and looked back down at his lap. My emotions were running high and I couldn‟t help voicing my fears.

“Continue what? Sleeping with you? Going back to being friends? What?” Sometimes I don‟t have a filter but I was starting to think that maybe he regretted what we had shared. He seemed so attentive and sweet, like this was the start of something more. But then when I ask him to tell me where this is going he clams up like he isn‟t sure that this is what he wants. I could feel the tears starting to form and I swallowed them down. “Bella, no.” He stated and took my hand in his. His gentle touch reminded me of what I could possibly lose and I couldn‟t help it when a tear slipped out of the corner of my eye. His eyes turned sad as he wiped it away with his fingers. I turned away, not wanting him to witness my minor breakdown. He cupped my cheek and pulled my face back to his. “Bella.” He whispered and I heard the anguish in his voice. “I would love to continue this…whatever it is, when we get home. I have no intention of letting you go.” He pulled my face closer to his and I let him, because I wanted nothing more than to believe what he said. His lips tenderly brushed against mine before he pulled back to look into my eyes. “I have to be honest with you.” Edward said, looking away for a moment to gather his thought. He turned back and what I saw in his eyes confused me even more. “I…I don‟t know what I‟m doing.” He admitted with a small smile. “Sometimes I can only think about you and what you have brought into my life. I want this. I want more.” His thumb rubbed small circles on the back of my hand in a comforting gesture. “But then other times I feel so damn guilty for wanting you, for wanting more.” He pulled my hand up to his face and rubbed it lightly across his cheek before kissing my knuckles gently. The act was so intimate and he seemed to do it on instinct, not thinking about it. “I feel guilty for moving on and then I feel guilty for feeling guilty for moving on.” He said with a dark chuckle that sounded so foreign coming from his normally sweet disposition. “Bella, you deserve my whole self and I don‟t know how long before I can give that to you.” His eyes pleaded with me to understand. Now that all of his cards were on the table and he was fully exposed to me I felt that small pang of love that had started, grow. “Edward, I don‟t expect you to forget about your past.” “I know that. You‟ve been very understanding.” He agreed. “Then I don‟t understand.” “Bella, I loved my wife very much. I never thought I would find another love like that again.” He said quietly. “And here I sit with you, a woman that makes my heart race when I hear your voice. Someone I can‟t get out of my head, ever. When you‟re away I feel empty and when you‟re near I want you closer.” “I‟m falling hard for you and it scares me. It makes me think that maybe I didn‟t love Tanya enough if I can feel so many things for you.” He admitted and my hurt melted away at the turmoil he has been going through. “You don‟t have to compare what you feel for me with what you felt for Tanya.” I tried to reassure him. “You don‟t need to replace her with me.” I wanted so desperately for him to understand that I didn‟t feel threatened by his past relationship. “I told you before. I don‟t need your whole heart. You need to keep a piece for the mother of your children. I get that, and I‟m okay with it. I‟ll take whatever you‟re willing to give.” Was I really okay with that? It didn‟t feel like I was taking second place in his life now. Would I feel that way later? “I can‟t help but think that that‟s not fair for you.” He recognized the same thing I was feeling and because he

recognized it I realized that he was only trying to put me first. Above his own feelings. “Edward, I‟ll worry about me. If the only thing that you can give me is weekends like this I will happily take them.” He pulled my hand until I was up and then sitting on his lap. He stroked my hair and then kissed me softly. “I can do more than weekends.” He whispered as he kissed my neck. “I told you I want more, Bella. I want you around all the time. I want you with my family. I want your friendship. I want you in my bed. I want your heart.” He whispered the last sentence so quietly that I wasn‟t sure that I heard him correctly before he kissed my lips tenderly. I felt better knowing why he hesitated to put into words what was happening between us. He was scared that he was going to hurt me if we progressed further. I couldn‟t tell him that it was too late for me. I was already in love with him. I realized that a declaration like that would only complicate things more. Until he is ready to give me all of what was left of his heart I couldn‟t push him. The waiter brought our bill and I was so wrapped up in the wonderful man before me that it didn‟t embarrass me that I was on his lap in a crowded restaurant. Nothing else mattered but him and me. Us…together. We made our way back to the boat and Edward had us sailing across the bay in a short time. We curled up together on the lounge chair and watched as the sun sank further into the horizon. “Bella?” “Hmm?” “What do you think about staying on the boat another night.” He asked and my heart skipped a beat, thinking that we could have one more night together before we came back to reality. The thought was appealing but there were so many factors to consider. “I‟d love to but I have work in the morning and Seth has school.” I said regrettably. He flipped out his phone, quickly dialed a number and then put it on speaker. “Hello Edward.” Alice answered in her normally upbeat voice. "Um, Ally, my darling sister...” Edward started kissing up and I couldn‟t help the giggle that escaped. “You're staying, aren't you?” Alice said in an amused tone. “Yes. If you don't mind watching the kids. I mean, if it's a big deal…” He winced slightly as he started backtracking, not wanting her to feel obligated. “No, I kind of figured it was coming...” Alice admitted. “So you don‟t mind getting the kids to school in the morning?” His voice sounded hesitant and I was right there with him. I didn‟t want to impose on Alice any more than we already had. “Of course not, Edward.” She sounded exasperated at his presumption that she had had enough of the kids. I couldn‟t hold it in any longer and the giggle escaped me. “I‟ll bring Bella something to change into before work.” I could hear the smile in her voice. “Thank you, Alice.” I chimed in.

“Yes, thank you Alice.” Edward said after me. “No problem big brother, but know this…” She said and I could almost see the halo tilt crooked on top of her head. “You owe me BIG!” Edward chuckled before we said our goodbyes. “So…looks like we have another night.” He said to me as his hand rubbed up and down my back. “Mmhmm.” I tilted my head from his shoulder and kissed across his neck. “So, what do you want to do?” I asked innocently. Edward‟s smile was wide as he pinned me down against the lounge chair. “Once we get back.” He said as he kissed along my jaw line. “I‟m going to drop anchor.” He peppered my neck with wet open mouthed kisses. “Do you know why I‟m going to drop anchor and not pull up to the dock?” He asked in a husky voice and all I could do was shake my head as he brought his face back up in front of mine. “Because, Isabella...” He kissed my lips lightly. “I plan on making you scream my name over and over again.” I sucked in a breath at the promise of his statement. “I don‟t want anyone to hear those beautiful noises that you make. They are for my ears only.” “Mine.” He whispered against my mouth, before kissing me hard. I melted under him as he pressed me further into the lounger. His knee coming into contact with my now wet bikini bottoms. I couldn‟t help but rub against him, earning a deep throated moan from him when my hands found the bulge in his pants. He pulled away and sat back on his heels. How can he have so much damn restraint! I huffed in irritation at his departure. He stroked my cheek lightly and gazed down upon me with the same fire in his eyes that I was currently feeling all over my body. “An hour. We should be back in Monterey in an hour.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more that he was me. I nodded my head in understanding and he quickly got up and headed for the helm. I rubbed my legs together, wanting desperately to relieve the now throbbing feeling that I had between my legs. I gave up, knowing that the only relief I would get would be after we were anchored. The sun had finally disappeared below the horizon and it was starting to get dark. I was wondering how I could get around the deck without tripping on something when the boat suddenly lit up. I looked up and tiny white lights were twinkling from around the edges of the deck and up the main mast. I sat in stunned silence at the beauty of the lights dancing off of the water. As we got closer to shore I could feel my body start to react in anticipation of the rest of the evening. I heard the anchor drop and I let out a long drawn out breath when Edward‟s arms encircled me again. “Do you want to stay up here or go below?” He asked quietly in my ear. “Can we sleep up here? Maybe get some blankets?” I asked hopefully. “It‟s just so pretty with the stars and the lights that I thought…” He captured my mouth in a searing kiss and I immediately didn‟t care where we were. “That would be perfect.” He whispered against my mouth before pulling me up. “It was a nice enough day that it shouldn‟t get too cold tonight.” He led me down below and I gathered the blankets off the bed while he grabbed a couple of sleeping bags. We drug everything up on deck and he unzipped both sleeping bags and zipped them together making one big bag. I laid the comforters down to give us more padding on the lounge chair and then he covered them with the sleeping bags. We both stood for a moment in awkward silence, across from each other with the lounge chair separating us. Neither one of us really knew what to do next. Finally, he started to chuckle which caused me to grin at the

stupidity of the situation. We had both seen, touched, or tasted every inch of the other but here we stood like two virginal teenagers not knowing how to proceed. Finally, he came around and took me in his arms. “Get undressed and climb in, I‟ll be back in a minute.” He whispered seductively in my ear, reminding me that he was anything but innocent. He released me quickly and disappeared below deck. I snapped out of my Edward induced fog and stripped out of all of my clothes. Feeling slightly exposed at being naked on the bow of his boat I quickly climbed under the covers and waited anxiously for him to return. A few minutes later I heard the soft sound of classical music coming from a few speakers that were mounted on the deck. I laid back and looked up at the stars and wondered how I had gotten so lucky to have Edward in my life. I smiled when I saw a star shoot across the dark sky; it automatically reminded me of a poem that I had memorized for a speech class that I had taken in college. I closed my eyes and briefly got lost in the beauty of the poem, picturing Edward as I whispered the first verses out loud. “Last night when I looked up at a star I thought to myself, how beautiful, yet so far. I took a breath and I sighed As I sat and closed my eyes. The wish that came from within my heart Was for us to no longer be apart. To no longer dream of being within your embrace, To be able to look up and see your face.” I was startled and my eyes shot open when I felt Edward‟s lips press against mine. He was leaning down from above me, clad only in a pair of black silky boxers. “I‟m sorry, love. I couldn‟t resist.” He said in a whisper as he pulled back the sleeping bag and climbed in. “Please go on.” I cleared my throat, slightly embarrassed at being caught. When I hesitated too long he finished the last verse for me. “To hear the words that are oh so true, The ones that say, I love you. That is the wish that lies within my heart; The one for us to no longer be apart.” He whispered in his velvety voice as he lay beside me perfectly still, looking up into the sky. Neither of us said a word and I started to feel a slight panic at the quiet. He let out a long sigh and I closed my eyes waiting for the rejection to come. He shifted beside me and I could feel his weight pressed up against my side, his sweet breath tickling across my cheek. His fingertips grazed across my shoulder as he pushed away the hair. Leaning down, he pressed his lips firmly to my shoulder. “What do you wish for, my beautiful Bella?” He said as he continued to taste and nip at my shoulder. “Only for you.” I whispered, telling him truthfully what was in my heart. “You have me.” He said as he rolled over on top of me. His knees pushed my legs further apart so he could nestle himself between my legs. I felt the silk of his boxers brush against my thighs and my hands automatically went to his hips. He placed his hands on top of mine and together we slowly tugged them off of his body. He gently

kissed me before pushing himself slowly into me. I wrapped my arms around him and held him tight as he made love to me like the first time. However, this time seemed so much more personal. I put all of my newfound feelings into every one of my actions and he responded as if he was speaking directly to my heart. He caressed and cherished every part of my body into the early morning hours. My last thought before sleep overtook me was how I hoped that my wish would come true.

~*~

Chapter 22 Back to Reality Edward Cullen The weekend had been perfect. I woke up to Bella curled into my side, her arm draped over my stomach and her warm breath on my neck. The sun was slowly making its way into the sky and I knew we would be cutting it close to get her to work on time. I kissed her forehead gently and squeezed her shoulder. “Bella, love.” I whispered against her forehead. “It‟s time to wake up.” She stirred in my arms but snuggled closer. I honestly didn‟t want her to leave but I knew that if she was late she would be extremely upset. I shook her shoulder a little firmer and she slowly started to open her eyes. “What time is it?” She asked. with a slight panic to her voice. “I‟m not sure but with where the sun is in the sky, it‟s probably around seven.” She let out a long breath and curled back up into my side. “Then I don‟t have to get up yet.” She whispered as she started trailing kisses across my chest. I groaned, before holding onto her arms to halt her assault. “No, but I need to get the boat docked because Alice will be here soon with a change of clothes for you.” She huffed at me and I couldn‟t help but smile before I eased my hold. She laid her head back in the crook of my arm. Her hand ghosted up and down my chest as we gazed out over the bay, a gentle rocking of the boat was making the whole experience calming. “Edward?” She whispered before looking up into my eyes. “This weekend has been amazing.” She said as she smiled up at me, I felt that familiar stirring deep inside that had me wanting to never let her go. All she had to do is smile at me and I turn into a sap. I thought, with a smile of my own. “It has been pretty amazing.” I agreed as I pulled her small frame on top of me, her legs straddling my hips. I ran my hands down her back until they grazed over her soft backside. She pushed herself forward until her lips met mine, an instant reminder of our passion filled evening. I was ready for her when she leaned back and slowly slid onto my erection. She was so warm and wet; I couldn‟t contain a long hiss as her flesh met mine. I pressed her hips into me and held her there, enjoying the sensation of her being fully wrapped around me. “Oh, Edward.” She sighed as she moved slowly back up. I gripped her hips tightly and helped guide her up and then back down, setting a steady pace. Her breasts were pressed against my chest, her face buried in my neck as her breath came quicker and her sweet mouth devoured anything that she could reach. Every nerve in my body

screamed for release but I pushed it down, only wanting to please her in any way I could. I could feel her right on the brink of total abandon and I wanted to hear her moans of pleasure one last time before she had to leave me for the day. “Bella.” I half whispered, half moaned in her ear. “Come on love,” I encouraged. “I want to hear you say my name.” I groaned out as she continued thrusting up and down my hard shaft. She pulled her self up so that her face hovered above me, her swollen lips inches from mine while she continued her tempo. I felt her walls start to tighten around me and my release was right behind her as she threw her head back and moaned. “Say it,” I demanded in a growl as I felt the waves of her orgasm start to wash over me. “Unnngg, Edward!” She cried out as I pulled her head down for a searing kiss and let go, spilling my fluid inside her with a final thrust. After several minutes of our hands caressing one another our breathing returned to normal. She laid completely spent on my chest as I slowly massaged her back. I knew that we needed to get to the docks but I didn‟t have the strength to pull away from her. So we laid there until I heard my phone ringing on the table beside the lounge. Bella rolled off of me and I reached for the annoying interruption. Checking the caller ID, I realized I was in hot water. “Yes, Ali?” I answered hoping that she wasn‟t too irritated. “Where the hell are you? I‟m at the slip and the boat isn‟t here.” She said irritably. I groaned inwardly and started to pull back the sleeping bag. “Sorry Ali, We‟re anchored past the wharf. We‟ll be there in a minute.” I said, hoping that I could smooth over her anger. She actually growled at me through the line and I knew that it was going to take a lot of ass kissing for her to get over her irritation. She let out a long sigh and her irritation seemed to fade away. “That‟s fine, Edward.” Alice replied in a perfectly neutral tone. “Did you have a nice time?” Now the nosy Alice that I knew and loved was starting to emerge. I laughed out loud and looked down at Bella who had an „I‟ve just been thoroughly satisfied‟ smile on her face. “Yeah, we did. Do you want me to answer questions or get my ass over there?” I asked knowing that she would hate to have to choose between juicy details and waiting. “Ugh, Edward! Just hurry up.” Then she promptly hung up on me. I chuckled once more before throwing my phone on the small table. “Unfortunately our little vacation has come to an end.” I told Bella as I placed a kiss on her rosy lips. She let out a sigh as I fumbled for my boxers that were somewhere at the end of the sleeping bag. Slipping them on, I threw the covers the rest of the way back and caught a glimpse of the gloriously creamy skin of my girlfriend. My girlfriend. I thought in wonder. It‟s amazing what could change in such a short amount of time. I hopped out of the sleeping bag and the cool morning air nipped at my skin. “It‟s cold.” I said as I shivered my way towards the hatch below. “Stay put and I‟ll bring you a robe.” She nodded and sank back down under the covers. I chanced a glance at her before I went below and she looked so adorable with the sleeping bag pulled all the way up under her nose. I had to fight with myself to not climb back under with her and forget all about my fuming sister on the dock.

I quickly dressed and returned with a robe for Bella to slip on so she wouldn‟t freeze when she got out of our makeshift bed. She threw on the robe, quickly climbed out and started folding up the blankets and sleeping bags. “Just leave it.” I said as I started up the engine and brought up the anchor. “You don‟t want to be around when Ali comes on board. She seems to want details of the weekend.” I said with a smirk at her panicked face. I nodded towards the hatch. “Go, take a shower and I‟ll try to get rid of her.” I chuckled and she darted down the stairs and out of sight, but not before I saw the pink blush tinge her cheeks. As I motored into the harbor flashes of the weekend's activities ran across my mind. The one thing that stood out besides Bella‟s beautiful body under mine was the way I felt when she recited that poem. I knew it well and thought it funny that she would, too. It was an anonymous author and very unlikely that she would run across it in the first place, so when I heard her repeating the words I felt like fate was making its self known again. There had been so many coincidences that seemed to bring us together: the beach, baseball, and the boys. Something had definitely changed the dynamics of our relationship this weekend. Not only was the sex phenomenal, but we had connected on an entirely different level. I knew that new relationships were fun and exciting but the more I found myself wrapped up in Bella the more I needed her. I started feeling the onslaught of guilt but not because of Bella‟s new role in my life, but because I was feeling, yet again, that maybe Tanya wasn‟t the only person that could make me feel like a teenage boy with his first crush. I couldn‟t even remember what it felt like to be in the beginning stages of love with Tanya. Love? Is that what this is? I cared about Bella. I wanted to spend every waking moment with her. But, Love? I was in my own little world as I pulled into the boat slip. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn‟t see my darling sister, her arms folded over her chest and her foot tapping impatiently on the dock. Shutting down the engine, I threw her a rope to tie us off. “What took you so long?” Alice complained as I helped her onto the deck. “Thanks for bringing Bella‟s clothes.” I said, avoiding her question. She smiled knowingly and handed me a small tote with Bella‟s things. I left Alice standing on the deck to run the clothes below for Bella. Walking into the master berth I found Bella wrapped in a towel and drying her hair with another one. I couldn‟t resist the urge to suck off the water droplets that were glistening on her shoulder. She let out a low hum when I wrapped my arms around her stomach and pressed her back into me. “Is Alice still here?” Bella asked as she turned around in my arms, the towel slowly slipping down to reveal the swell of her breasts. I groaned out loud and buried my face into her neck. She always smelled so good. “Yes, she‟s on deck.” I whispered as I trailed kisses across her collarbone. “Maybe if we stay down here she‟ll go away.” She laughed and gave me a little shove before scooting back towards the bathroom. “I‟m going to be late if we don‟t leave soon and I can‟t think with you kissing me.” She accused with a dismissive chuckle and then disappeared into the bathroom. I sighed in defeat, back to reality. I walked back up on deck and Alice had folded up the blankets and was humming softly under her breath. When she saw me her smile widened and she looked up at me knowingly. The look she gave m, reminded me of Esme and I rolled my eyes at her hoping to deflect the interrogation I was soon to endure. “So, I see that you guys slept up here last night under the stars.” Alice said almost victoriously as I chuckled uncomfortably. It‟s one thing to have your sibling know that you‟ve recently had sex and quite another when they

call you on it. Alice was always the queen at making things awkward. I think she actually enjoyed watching me squirm. “Star gazing.” I said off handedly, knowing that she wouldn‟t believe a word of it. She snorted, confirming my theory and I just smiled. Nothing Alice could say would take away from the special moments that Bella and I had shared this weekend. “Tell Bella I will talk to her later. I need to go by Jasper's work before I meet a corporate event planner.” I nodded my agreement and helped her down off of the boat. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO I spent the rest of the day anticipating the next time I would get to see Bella again. I picked up Liz, Tony, and Seth from school and headed to the ball field to work on the boys‟ pitching. There was only a couple more games in the season and with the team being undefeated it looked as if they were going to be going to All Stars this year. Elizabeth plopped herself down behind the backstop on a blanket, wrapped up in some book. She was a book worm and I was again reminded of how Tanya had instilled the love of reading into her. “Alright boys!” I called, waving them in. “I‟m going to hit some fly balls and if you can catch ten in a row we‟ll head straight to pitching without doing any running drills.” Both boys were eager to take on the challenge so I started off easy, hitting them directly above their heads. Anthony caught the first one with a victory fist pump in the air. Then Seth successfully caught the next one, high fiving Tony after throwing the ball back to me. I marveled at the camaraderie between the two. They truly wanted to see each other succeed without their competitive nature getting in the way. I hit the next one right in the center of where the two boys were standing and watched as they both took off to catch it. “Call it!” I yelled when I realized that both of them were focused on the ball and not on where the other was at. There was nothing I could do as I watched them collide at a quick run. The collision was hard and I heard a loud scream come from one of them that told me someone was really hurt. I sprinted out to the two boys who were both lying on their backs only feet from each other. Anthony was completely still staring up at the sky but Seth was withering on the ground next to him. Just as I was coming up on the scene Anthony snapped out of his haze and scrambled over to Seth. I quickly knelt down and scanned Tony to see if he was hurt, he just had a worried frown on his face as he looked down on his friend. I turned my attention to Seth and he was holding his shoulder, tears flowing down his face with occasional whimpers escaping his lips. “Hang on Seth, I need to look at it.” I whispered as I reached for his arm. As soon as I touched him he let out a howl of pain. I immediately recognized that he had dislocated his shoulder during impact. I‟d seen hundreds of dislocations but watching this poor boy, Bella‟s son, go through the pain was almost as bad as if it would have been Tony or Liz. There was no way around what I had to do next. I could leave it and take him to the hospital and get an X-ray before popping it back in place, where he would be in excruciating pain until it was back in. Or, I could pop it in, relieving the pain and then take him to get the X-ray. The decision was clear. “Seth, I need you to listen to me for a minute. Do you think you can do that?” I asked, wanting to let him know that I would help it be better. He nodded his head, causing him to grimace at the movement. “Okay. I‟m going to count to three and then I‟m going to fix your shoulder.” I said letting him know what was going to happen. “It‟s going to hurt for a second and then it‟ll be better. Do you understand?”

“Y-yes.” He answered, not wanting to move any part of his body. I took a hold of his arm as gently as possible with one hand, securing my other hand around his shoulder. I glanced at Tony and saw that he had tears streaming down his face, scared for his friend. “I need you to relax.” I said to Seth after I was in position. Tony dropped to his knees at Seth‟s head and when he started speaking, I felt a sense of pride in the wonderful kid I had. “Seth, did I tell you that we are almost guaranteed to be in All Stars.” Seth looked up at Anthony and I could see a small smile underneath the tears. “One.” I whispered. “Yeah, and we are going to have a really cool party at my house after the game.” Anthony continued to try to distract Seth. “Two.” I whispered and then pushed on his shoulder quickly while I pulled on his arm, snapping everything back in place. A loud grunt came from Seth but when I looked down at him there was nothing but relief. It‟s amazing how the pain is so severe while it‟s out but almost immediately it disappears when everything is aligned again. Seth took a deep breath and then let it out in one long gust. I prodded the area with my fingers and he winced but I was satisfied that it would be okay until I got him under an X-ray. Elizabeth was hovering over my shoulder, watching everything unfold. “Liz. Tony. Please go get all the gear gathered up. We need to take Seth to the hospital.” Liz and Tony shot towards the gear and quickly went to work. I looked down on Seth and he quickly brushed the tears off of his face with the back of his uninjured hand. “I thought you said you were going to do it on three.” He said almost in an accusing tone. I chuckled and helped him sit up. “If I would‟ve waited until three you would‟ve tensed up and it would‟ve hurt more.” I said, helping him the rest of the way up to his feet. He nodded in understanding and I knew that I had been forgiven. I called Bella as soon as we were in the car and on our way to the hospital. I thought for sure that she would freak out but instead she let out a long sigh and let me know that she would be there as soon as possible. She never ceased to surprise me. We had the X-ray completed when Bella walked into my office. She immediately went over to Seth and started checking him over before taking him into a gentle hug. “Ewww, mom. Stop please.” Seth said as he pushed her away. I was surprised when Tony walked over to Seth with a stern expression. “Seth!” Tony said, slightly irritated. Tony‟s demeanor took all of us by surprise. “If your mom wants to give you a hug you should let her because someday she might not be around to give you a hug.” My heart dropped at the simple reprimand that spoke volumes. Anthony seldom referred to his mother but it was obvious that he understood what it meant not to have one. He was so young when Tanya died that Alice and I assumed that it didn‟t bother him as much because he couldn‟t really remember what he was missing. However, I realized at that moment that he may not miss Tanya

specifically but he was acutely aware of what he was missing in a mother, especially since he had been around Bella. Seth nodded his head and looked back at Tony. “I know.” He whispered sheepishly and then looked at Bella before turning back to Tony. “If you want I can share mine with you.” Bella and I chuckled at the childlike innocence behind his statement of sharing his mom. I glanced over at Elizabeth who still seemed to be wrapped up in her book. However, she had a scowl on her face and I briefly wondered if it was the book or Seth‟s words that upset her. The boys went back to chattering about baseball as Bella came closer to talk to me about what had happened. “They collided and Seth‟s shoulder became dislocated. I popped it back in on the field.” A small shudder went through her body at my description of fixing it. “Is he going to be alright?” She asked and I nodded. “He‟ll be fine.” I said as I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, bringing her closer. I could feel every tense muscle in her back and shoulders from the stress of finding out that your son was in the hospital. “It‟s not his pitching arm so he‟ll be good as new by All Stars but I‟m going to pull him out of the last two games to give it time to heal.” I explained as she nodded against my chest. Bella decided that she was going to take Seth home for the evening so we parted in the parking lot with a promise to see each other soon. We grabbed a pizza on the way home and after we had eaten I sent Tony to the shower to get the smell of little boy off of him. I called Liz into the living room and then sat down with her for piano lessons. I was pleasantly surprised at how quickly she had picked up the last songs that we were working on. Liz had her own drive to learn how to play and I was thankful that I didn‟t have to get on her all the time to practice. She loved playing and made sure that she practiced daily without any reminders from me. I introduced her to another song and helped her pick it out on the keys before letting her know that we were done for the evening. Anthony came bounding into the room and climbed up on the other side of the bench. “Dad?” Elizabeth asked in a quiet voice. I looked down at her, encouraging her to continue. “Can you play mom‟s song?” I let out a long sigh and then looked at the keys, debating on whether I wanted to stir up those emotions again. “Please, dad. It‟s been a long time since I heard it.” Anthony said in an excited whisper. I placed my hands on the keys and willed them to move. However, I didn‟t know where to start. It had been so long. I pulled my hands back and sat them in my lap. “I don‟t think I can.” I said, hoping that they would let it go. Liz reached over to the keys and played the first few notes to Tanya‟s song, stirring a desire I thought was long gone. “I only know the first part.” She whispered and then played it again. I reached up, putting my hands back on the keys and played the notes that Liz had just played. After that the music just flowed. I remembered the emotions and love that had come when I composed the piece and there was nothing but happy memories where as before the pain almost crippled me. I lost myself in the song, my hands dancing over the keys with a new found fire. As the song neared the end and trailed off I glanced at Elizabeth, her eyes were closed and a tear slid down her cheek. Anthony just sat there and smiled a wistful smile. I wrapped my arms around both of my children and hugged them close before kissing them on top of their heads.

“Thank you.” Elizabeth whispered before she pulled away and climbed down off of the bench. All I could do was nod. Something that I thought would hurt too badly turned out to be the exact opposite. By playing Tanya‟s song I overcame the dread that I had built up and replaced it with a happy memory with my children. Tony gave me a quick hug and then disappeared after his sister. I placed my hands on the keyboard and herd another song flit through my mind. This one was full of energy and had an undercurrent of longing but also a sweetness that urged me on. I sat at the bench, playing different scenarios and coming up with a combination that fit perfectly before I closed the lid to the piano. “That was beautiful,” Alice said from the doorway to the kitchen. I nodded and turned towards her. “Did you just come up with it?” “Yeah. I played Tanya‟s song for the kids and afterwards it just kind of came to me,” I said in awe. Playing music always came naturally to me but composing usually was a challenge. I enjoyed the accomplishment of hearing something I‟d created turned into music but it wasn‟t always easy like this song was. “It‟s just the melody but I don‟t think it‟ll take long to put it finish it.” I mused as I stood up. “It reminds me of Bella.” Alice said with a sly smirk. I smiled at her and nodded again. “Yeah, it did me, too.” Alice let out a little squeak at my admission and then she danced over to give me a hug. “So, I take it that everything went well in Santa Cruz?” I knew she wanted all of the juicy details, but I was her brother not her BFF as Liz would say. I pulled away from her before she could sink her claws in me for the evening. “Yes, we had a great time. Yes, we got closer and yes, we made love. Now leave me alone because you‟re not getting anything else out of me.” I said with a chuckle and moved towards the kitchen. She bounced happily behind me. “I need to go check on Seth. Can you get the kids to bed?” I asked her and she smiled knowingly at me. “I‟m here all night. Jasper has the late shift and then an early morning.” She said as I moved to get my jacket. “Thanks, Ali.” I said as I leaned down and kissed her cheek. “Anytime.” She said in that voice that I knew all to well. It was the one that alluded to her knowing more than she‟s saying. “It‟s just a house call, Alice.” I said with an exasperated tone. “More like a booty call.” She retorted and I couldn‟t help but smile. I would never tell her, but I secretly hoped that she was right.

~*~

Chapter 23 Dr. Edward Cullen M.D.

Edward Cullen I don‟t know why I felt so nervous standing on Bella‟s doorstep. I ran my fingers through my hair once before knocking on the door. The curtain in the window moved to the side and I saw Bella‟s beautiful brown eyes light up when she saw that it was me. “Edward?” She asked in a hesitant yet slightly breathless tone as she opened the door. A brilliant smile radiated back at me. “Hey, I thought I‟d come check up on Seth,” I said sheepishly as she moved aside to let me in. “Um…He‟s already in bed,” she answered. I started to feel foolish that I had come over without calling. However, if I would‟ve called I wouldn‟t have gotten to see her. “I didn‟t know that doctors still made house calls,” Bella said with a sly smirk and I knew that I had been caught. “I‟m sorry, I should have called first,” I said lamely. She gave me an offended look and then shoved at my arm. “You don‟t have to call to come over, Edward,” she whispered as her hand ran up my arm. I felt the sexual tension increase in the room; it was so thick I could have cut it with a knife. “Besides, now that you‟re here you can check out this spot that has been hurting me.” She smiled up at me and for a moment I forgot that she had a medical issue. I shook my head and then took her hands in mine. “What is it that‟s bothering you?” I asked as I scanned her body quickly for any obvious problems. Bella took a step back from me and brought one of her hands up, running it over her breasts until she grasped the top button on her shirt. I wondered if she had another injury from work when she unbuttoned the top button. It only took me a moment to realize that she was playing with me. I let out a sigh of relief that nothing was truly wrong with her and then felt my face flush with excitement at what Bella was really wanting. My eyes were locked on her hands as she slowly undid the rest of the buttons on her shirt. I cleared my throat as she revealed a pink lace bra that barely covered the nipples that were straining against the fabric. Bella ran her hand across her stomach as she bit down on her bottom lip and I felt my pants become suddenly tighter than they were a moment ago. I couldn‟t help the groan that came from between my lips before I shook off the lust and brought my eyes back up to hers. “Where does it hurt, Ms. Black?” I whispered and I could hear the desire dripping from my words. “It‟s Ms. Swan,” she said and I made a mental note to ask her about that later. “Ms. Swan, can you show me where it hurts?” I was amazed that my voice didn‟t squeak with how turned on I was. Bella ran her hands up her stomach and over the pink lace, rubbing small circles over her breasts. “Right here,” she said as she circled her taut nipples. I closed my eyes tightly for a minute, trying to regain some semblance of control, before I heard a small giggle come from the sexy creature standing before me. “Doctor Cullen?” She purred only inches from me, her breath whispering across my cheek. I opened my eyes and was met with the big brown eyes of the little minx that was doing a damn good job at seducing me. “Didn‟t you

bring your stethoscope?” she asked in an innocent tone. I went to grab for her but she quickly pulled out of my grasp. “Now Doctor Cullen, I‟m going to go to the exam room while you get your stethoscope,” she said with a smirk and then walked past me, leaving me standing in the middle of her living room. It only took me a second to kick my ass in gear and go out to the trunk of my car. I felt like an eager teenager as I popped open the trunk and pulled out my medical bag. Grabbing the white lab coat, I slipped it on and then reached for my stethoscope, draping it around my neck. Taking a deep breath, I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to calm down before I went back into the house to my „patient‟. Cue the bad porn music, I thought with a chuckle as I closed the trunk of my car and went back into Bella‟s home. As I walked back through the door I felt slightly flushed and had to laugh at myself for the nervousness I was feeling. I quickly walked back to what I hoped was Bella‟s room and knocked lightly on the door. “Come in,” I heard the breathy whisper of my „patient‟. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a long steadying breath before walking in the room and closing the door. I clicked the lock in place, not wanting to have Seth unknowingly barge in and interrupt our „exam‟. When I turned around I was momentarily stunned at the sight that was before me. Bella was sitting on the edge of her bed with a throw blanket draped across her lower half. Her mahogany hair cascaded over her shoulders and rested on the top of her bare breasts. I watched as her fingers were playing with the tips of her hair causing her hands to brush over her soft mounds. I cleared my throat and tried to get into her role playing game but I wasn‟t sure if I could do this without making a fool of myself. “Dr. Cullen? Can you help me?” I could hear the desire in her voice and any uncertainty I had felt evaporated in that moment. I cleared my throat and walked closer to the bed. “Of course, Ms. Swan,” I said trying to sound confident. “Show me where it hurts again?” I asked, watching the triumphant smile play across her lips. She was so damned adorable. Her fingers dropped the hair in her hand as she leaned back a little on one arm. Her hand cupped her breast and she squeezed it lightly before running her thumb across her nipple. “Right here,” she whispered in a breathy moan. I watched, transfixed by how she massaged herself until her pink bud was tightly puckered. “Are…” I had to clear my throat again at the crack that was very obvious. “Are you suffering anywhere else?” A wicked smile radiated from her perfectly pouty lips. “Mhmm,” she nodded and leaned back on her elbow while her other hand slowly slid down her stomach and disappeared underneath the blanket. “I have this horrible ache…right here,” she said with a moan as her hand slid up and down under the throw. I walked closer to the bed until my legs were brushing up against hers. “I‟m going to need to remove the blanket so I can better treat your…um…symptoms,” I said, trying desperately to keep a professional tone and not rip the blanket off and ravish every inch of her body. She looked up at me with an innocent smile and then nodded her head. I knew better. There is nothing innocent about you tonight, my dear. I reached for the blanket and gently pulled it away to find that she was completely bare under it too. Her hand was still moving slowly up and down her slit. She giggled again and I realized that it was from the loud groan that I had let out at seeing what she was doing.

I took one hand and put it on her shoulder, pushing her down on her back, then bent down in front of her and took one of her ankles in my hand. I brought it up and kissed the top of her foot once and then moved to the inside of her ankle. I placed soft kisses there as well before making her bend her knee and placing her foot on the bed. I then reached for the other one and did the same thing so that her feet were firmly planted on the edge. Her fingers were still playing across her sensitive flesh, but she closed her knees together in a show of modesty. I wasn‟t having any of that so I placed both hands on her knees. Slowly, I pulled them apart, my hands sliding down the inside of her thigh as she opened up to me. She was already wet and glistening against her pink flesh and I groaned again, forgetting about the part I was playing. “You are so beautiful,” I whispered, as my hands massaged the inside of her thighs. “Do you say that to all of your patients, Doctor Cullen?” she giggled. I had completely forgotten the game she wanted to play. All I could think about was tasting and feeling her flesh under my hands and mouth. I closed my eyes and tried to gain some control. “So Ms. Swan, is this the only spot that is bothering you?” I asked, as I removed her hand from her clit and replaced it with my own. I pinched it between my fingers and gave a slight pull, causing her to gasp at the sensation and then I rolled it gently between my fingers. I let go and heard her whimper before she lifted her head up to look at me. “What about here?” I asked and then ran my fingers down her slit, stopping at her opening. “Oh…yes,” she moaned, dropping her head back onto the bed. “Hm....” I said in contemplative thought. “What about here?” I asked as I plunged a finger into her dripping sex. Her hips bucked instinctively into my hand and I smiled before kissing the inside of her thigh. I pumped my finger in and out of her, watching as she became wetter with every passing stroke until I added another finger. “Ung! Edward.” She slipped and forgot her role which made me smile wider. “It‟s Doctor Cullen, dear,” I reminded her as she gripped the comforter with both hands and arched her back off of the bed. “Please Doctor,” she pleaded, causing my erection to strain against my pants in an uncomfortable way. “Help me,” she whimpered and I readily gave her what she wanted. “Do you want me to relieve your ache, Ms. Swan?” I asked as I pulled my fingers out of her and then slid my hands under her firm backside. She whimpered something incoherent that I took as a resounding „yes‟ and pulled her closer to the edge of the bed. Her feet slipped off of the edge so I slid my hands down her legs and threw them over my shoulders, knocking the stethoscope to the ground. I brushed my cheek down the inside of her thigh, inhaling the aroma that was just Bella before running the flat of my tongue from her opening to the top of her slit. She stifled a groan and I smiled against her warm flesh before sucking her swollen bud into my mouth. Her panting increased as I teased her wet folds over and over again, drinking in her flavor and savoring every drop. “Please, Doctor,” she pleaded and the desperation in her voice had me fumbling for the button on my pants while I continued to tease her with my tongue. I pushed my pants and underwear to my knees, before swiftly standing

up. Bella gazed up at me with hunger and lust in her eyes and I had to have her, right then and there. I grabbed onto her hips and with one swift movement was completely engulfed within her folds. I groaned loudly and watched as her eyes went wide and then she brought a finger to her lips, shushing me. I held her close to me, feeling her wetness against my skin as she wrapped her legs around my hips. When I felt like I could proceed without making too much noise I pulled out slowly and then pushed back into her. “Edward,” she moaned and I couldn‟t help but chuckle before I shushed her like she had me a moment ago. She smiled up at me as I gripped her hips tighter and continued pumping into her with a steady rhythm. Our breathing picked up in tempo and steadily became more ragged as I felt her clamp around me and start to tremble. I watched as she closed her eyes and arched her back towards me with the sexiest moan I had ever heard. She was beautiful. The sound of her pleasure immediately sent me spiraling towards my own release and with a final thrust we came together. My head dropped back and I took a deep breath, enjoying the feel of her clenching around me. Her hands ran over the top of mine where I was gripping her hips and she gently pulled me down on top of her, Bella's legs still securely locked around me. I slipped out of my shoes and then pulled out of her slowly. Wrapping my arm around her waist, I lifted her up and scooted up the bed until she laid against the pillows. I collapsed next to her and she instantly curled into my side. I loved that she wanted to be as close to me as I wanted to be to her. She giggled softly and I looked down at her, her head resting in the crook of my arm. “What?” I asked, perplexed at what she could find so funny. She pulled at my shirt and then I felt a tug around my shins as she pushed my pants further down with her toe. “I think that you need to lose these,” she said with another giggle, light shining in her eyes. I kissed her forehead and then pushed my pants the rest of the way off as she made quick work of the buttons on my shirt. Sitting up, I struggled out of the lab coat and then the shirt before quickly pulling off my socks and discarding everything on the floor. We pulled back the covers and climbed under together. Bella immediately positioned herself in what I had learned over the last few days to be her favorite spot. Her head rested on my shoulder while one arm was around my waist and her leg was thrown over my thigh. I grasped her chin in my hand and tilted her face up to mine. “I didn‟t get a kiss,” I whispered as my lips descended on hers. She responded with soft gentle nips that had me begging for more until she relented and kissed me passionately. Pulling back, she looked in my eyes and I saw the mischief that always seemed to be playing just under the surface. “You didn‟t use your stethoscope,” she accused with a smile and a low chuckle rumbled through my chest. “Next time,” I said, kissing her lips again. Her bottom lip jutted out and I chuckled as I bit it gently. “I promise.” She pulled back, snuggling into my chest and I had an almost giddy feeling in my stomach. I couldn't remember when I had been this happy before. Everything felt so natural with her, and right. Bella‟s fingers were drawing lazy circles against my chest, bringing my attention back to the amazing woman in my arms. “So, what‟s up with the Ms. Swan?” I asked softly. Her fingers stopped moving and she looked back up at me. “It‟s my maiden name.” I nodded my head at her answer. “Are you going to switch it back?” I asked, curious as to why she hadn‟t already.

“No, probably not,” she answered and I quirked my brow in question. She let out a long sigh before she continued. “I don‟t want all of the confusion with Seth. He probably wouldn‟t care but I don‟t want him to ever think that being a Black is a bad thing.” She shrugged lightly. “Even if I‟m totally peeved with his father.” “Why? What did he do?” “Nothing. That‟s the problem,” she said with an exasperated sigh. “We‟ve been here almost three months and he hasn‟t called once to talk to his son.” I could feel the anger radiating off of her so I rubbed circles on the back of her arm, trying to soothe her. “Even though we‟ve had our problems I never thought he would abandon Seth like this.” I could hear the mama bear coming out in her and knew that there wasn‟t much I could say to calm her down. “Thankfully, Seth hasn‟t seemed to notice or at least he hasn‟t mentioned anything. What am I supposed to say to him if he does ask?” She wasn‟t really asking a question. I could hear that she just needed to vent her frustrations so I kept my mouth shut and let her talk. “Sorry Seth, your daddy has more entertaining conquests to attend to so you‟re put on the back burner until he gets his head out of his ass and decides to be a father,” she said sarcastically and then she huffed before nuzzling back into my chest. I couldn‟t help but smile at the spitfire she was. “What do you mean by conquests?” I asked. She sighed, her breath flowing across my chest before kissing me softly. “When Jake and I were separated and supposedly working on our marriage, I came home to find him screwing another woman.” I was shocked that someone could be that much of an idiot to let Bella slip through their fingers over a piece of ass. First he hurt her by being unfaithful and then he hurt her again by not living up to his obligations as a parent. What kind of selfish bastard does something like that to the ones that he loves? Don‟t judge too quickly Edward, you checked out on your kids when they needed you the most, I scolded myself. “That must have been hard,” I whispered. “Yeah. It was at the time, but we learned to live with Jake's mistakes,” she whispered. “Seth doesn‟t know any of this,” she said quickly, looking into my eyes to make sure that I wouldn't? say anything. I nodded my agreement. “Of course, he doesn‟t need to know his father‟s an idiot,” I said as she rolled her eyes and settled back into my side. “We had an agreement that he was to keep her away from Seth until after we left Forks. I don‟t know how I feel about her being around my son now,” she said quietly, opening up her fears to me. “Seth is supposed to visit his dad this summer and I‟m sure she will be there, living in my house.” Behind the self confident exterior I could hear the broken hearted girl that doubted her worth. I squeezed her arm again and kissed her forehead. “So, Doctor Cullen,” she began as she leaned over me on her elbows and kissed my chin, moving her way up to my lips. “What do you say we break out the stethoscope?” She didn‟t give me time to respond before she attacked my lips. It was obvious that she was trying to change the subject so I gave in, letting her tongue explore my mouth. Her hands roamed lower down my chest as she broke the kiss and moved her lips across my neck. “I‟ve been dreaming about playing doctor with you for a long time,” she whispered huskily into my ear. I gripped her shoulders and pushed her up to look at me. Her bottom lip jutted out at the broken connection but I needed to know.

“How long have you been fantasizing about playing doctor with me, Ms. Swan?” I asked and her face flushed a lovely shade of red at my inquiry. “A while,” she admitted and then tried to reattach her lips to my neck, but I held her firm. “How long is a while?” I let go of her arms and she sank back down on my chest, burying her face in my neck. “Um…Since pizza.” We had pizza several time since we started dating, it was the only take out that the kids would eat that was close to home. I gave her a confused look and she took a deep breath and let it out. “You‟re going to make me say it?” She whined and I smiled at her embarrassment. My phone began to ring and Bella started to reach for my pants, trying to avoid the question. “It‟s just Alice, it‟ll go to voicemail,” I said as it clicked off and then I gave her a look that said I was waiting. “Fine! After the first practice,” she huffed and then buried her face in my shoulder. “When we were at pizza and you told me about going to Stanford and working at the hospital. I think I might have entertained the idea then,” she admitted before burying her face back in my neck. I couldn‟t help but chuckle. “Really? That long ago?” I asked, trying to look down at her but she continued to hide her face. I laughed softly and ran my fingers through her hair. “Hmmm, I thought it was when you stayed the night that first time. You were having a very vivid dream about…” She groaned loudly and shook her head. “Please tell me I didn‟t talk in my sleep.” Bella rolled over, trying to pull away. I laughed louder and held her to me. “You most definitely did,” I said, teasing her more. “If I remember correctly it was about stirrups and stethoscopes,” I said nodding my head towards the discarded one on the floor. “You said something about being naughty, too,” she sucked in a quick breath and I could feel the heat radiate off of her face as it was buried in my arm. I pulled up her chin and she fought me for a moment before giving in and looking up at me. “What was so naughty Isabella?” I asked quietly. She shook her head and tried to hide in my arm again but I wasn‟t giving up that easy. “Isabella?” “You are so annoyingly persistent,” she muttered under her breath causing me to chuckle again. “Fine, I was dressed up as your naughty nurse. Are you happy? I‟ve just died of mortification,” she said and buried her head back in my chest. I started to smile but the visual of Bella in a short little white dress with white thigh high stockings and red lipstick was too much for me and I flipped her over on her back. She looked surprised as I wedged in between her legs and took her lips in a hungry kiss. “Do you have any idea the image you‟ve just planted in my head with that admission?” I groaned in her ear, feeling my erection brush against her moist folds. She shook her head in answer to my question and lifted her hips to meet mine just as my phone went off again. I groaned and let my forehead drop to her shoulder. “Damn pixie has impeccable timing.” I growled but knew that she wouldn‟t call twice in a row if she didn‟t really need to speak to me. “It might be the kids,” I whispered, trying to talk my body into rolling off the beautiful and

willing woman under me. I sighed and reached over the bed for my pants, pulling the phone out and flipped it open. “Yes, Ally?” I answered. “I‟m sorry Edward, I wouldn‟t have called if it wasn‟t important.” Her voice seemed slightly panicked which was odd coming from my well put together sister. I pulled away from Bella and rolled to the side. “I know, what is it?” I asked, Bella scooting up to my side with a questioning look in her eyes. “Liz. She woke up screaming and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to calm her down.” Alice‟s voice raised several octaves and I could hear the tears in her voice. “Is it the night terrors again?” She had them when she was a small child and they got much worse after Tanya‟s death. The doctor said she would grow out of them and this last year there had been only a couple. “I don‟t know. She just keeps calling for Tanya and won‟t let me get near her. Every time I do she screams louder. She needs you, Edward.” I nodded my head knowing that Alice was right. “I‟ll be home in a few minutes,” I said before we hung up. I looked down at Bella, who had a slightly sad look in her eyes. “I‟m sorry…” I began, but she cut me off with a kiss. “You need to go, I understand,” she whispered against my lips. Even though I knew that she did understand, I could still see the disappointment in her eyes and that killed me. She pulled away so I could get up but I grabbed her again and kissed her mouth once more. I got up and gathered my clothes while she sat up in bed, the sheet wrapped around her body. I slipped on my pants and then reached for another kiss as I slid on my shirt. She deftly buttoned up my shirt while our lips were still locked together, breaking only for me to find my shoes and socks. When I sat back down on her bed after sliding my socks on, she crawled in my lap and kissed my mouth hungrily again while I struggled to find the will to leave. I clutched her closer to me, not wanting to break away but my guilt kept nagging at me to hurry and get home. “Bella,” I whispered against her mouth as I moved to slip my shoes on. The sheet that was wrapped around her fell away and I groaned again at feeling her warm body against mine. “I have to go, Love,” I whispered, fighting every instinct I had to stay with her. “I‟ll talk to you tomorrow,” I said as I pulled away and looked down at her in my arms. I laid her on the bed and then stood back up, taking in the picture of the magnificent woman that was starting to rule my every thought. “Good night, Bella,” I whispered, leaving before I changed my mind. I hated leaving her and I was afraid that this was going to be a pattern in our relationship for awhile. My kids came first and right now Liz needed me. Thankfully Bella understood this. At least I think she does. I wasn‟t going to abandon Liz again. The only way that she was going to get through her fears was through loving and understanding. I may not have been there for her after her mother died, but I swore to myself that I would do everything in my power to be there for her now.

~*~

Chapter 24 Farmer’s Market Edward Cullen “Edward?” I heard Alice‟s slightly frantic voice come from Liz‟s room when I came through the door. “Yeah Alice, I‟m home.” Quickly tossing my keys on the counter I walked towards my daughter‟s room. The sight that awaited me was one that I will probably never forget. Alice was sitting on the floor leaning against Liz‟s bed, while Liz sat in her lap, clutching at her shirt sobbing. Alice‟s hands were wrapped around her, stroking her back and whispering in her ear. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before proceeding into the room. “Elizabeth, sweetheart?” I said in a gentle voice, kneeling down beside Alice. I placed my hand on my daughter's back, rubbing it tenderly to soothe the pain that she was enduring. “It‟s okay, daddy‟s here. Come to me, baby,” I coaxed in the most patient and kind voice I could muster, before slipping my hands under her arms to pull her to me. She let out a soft cry, pulling away from me and clung harder to Alice as her sobs increased. Alice looked at me over Liz‟s head and pleaded with her eyes for me to do something. We had been through these episodes before, but Liz had never cried this long. I continued to rub her back while Alice held her, whispering in her ear. “NO!” Liz yelled, jerking away from Alice at something she had said. Alice‟s eyes were wide and she looked between Liz and me apologetically. Liz jumped off of Alice‟s lap and stood back glaring at her. “He left!” Liz yelled and pointed at me, while her gaze was still locked on Alice. “He w-wasn‟t h-here!” She sobbed and my heart broke. I wasn‟t here when she needed me. I reached for her hand but when it made contact with her skin she jerked away from me. “Liz, your father loves you,” Alice whispered, trying to soothe the beast that was about to be unleashed. Liz transferred her glare to me and what I saw in her eyes reminded me so much of the day I had told her that her mother wasn‟t coming home. She looked broken and scared. “Where were you?” She demanded and I knew that if I told her the truth it would only make matters worse. “It doesn‟t matter where I was. I‟m home now,” I whispered, hoping that the answer I gave would suffice. Her eyes softened from the hatred brewing inside and I had a fleeting thought that she looked so much older than her young age of nine. Her sobs began again as the tears flowed quicker over her cheeks until she sat down heavily and buried her face in her hands. Alice and I sat there but didn‟t move to touch her in fear that she would explode again. After a few minutes, her sobs turned in to whimpers and I couldn‟t stand not holding her anymore. Touching her arm, she didn‟t pull away from me so I gently pulled her into my lap as she curled inward against my chest. Alice stood up and gave me a sad look before slipping out of the door. I turned my attention back to Liz and rubbed her back while slowly rocking back and forth. “I miss mom,” Liz whispered against my shirt. She was so quiet that I almost didn‟t hear her. I squeezed her shoulders and moved my hand to brush away the hairs that were sticking to her wet cheek. “I know, baby,” I said before giving her a kiss on top of her head. “I know,” I repeated softer, feeling my own tears prickle at the back of my eyes. I could feel her start to relax in my arms as her small whimpers turned into the occasional hiccup.

“Dad?” Liz asked quietly as she pulled back and looked up at me. I smiled down at her, encouraging her to continue. “Where were you tonight?” she asked again. When I looked in her eyes I knew that she knew that I was with Bella. I sighed and gave her a sad smile. “I was at Bella‟s checking on Seth‟s injury,” I told her, not needing to elaborate that I didn‟t actually see Seth. She nodded thoughtfully for a moment and then leaned back against my chest. “I was really scared,” Elizabeth told me in a shaky voice that made me grimace at the pain that radiated off of her. “What were you scared of, sweetheart?” I inquired, taking advantage of the opening that she gave me to talk. She sniffed a couple of times and then brought her small hand up to wipe away the tears that stained her cheeks. “I was scared that you…” Her sobs started to come again and I held her closer. “That you weren‟t going to come back. That you left to be with Bella and…and…” She couldn‟t finish her sentence as her tiny body shook harder than before. I stroked her hair soothingly and tried to shush her tears. “You understand that I will always come back, right Liz? Always. Nothing could tear me away from you. Nothing.” I paused and hugged her tighter, trying to encourage her to say what she was thinking. She pulled away and looked up into my eyes. The pain that I saw reflecting back at me made me wonder how one small child could hold on to such pain and not become totally affected by it. She is affected by it, stupid. “Why is Bella always here? Why did you stay with her the whole weekend?” she asked, and I knew that if I had any kind of future with Bella, it hinged on the answer that I gave right now. “Let me ask you a question?” I asked and she nodded slowly. “Do you like Bella coming over?” I asked. She sat back a little bit and I could see that she was honestly thinking over the question. “Um…Yeah, I guess its okay,” she relented after a few minutes of contemplation. I smiled inwardly, a sense of hope filling me that I could help her to get past whatever issues she was having with Bella. “But why do you need Bella?” She rushed on. “Aren‟t Tony and I enough?” she asked, looking up at me as a large tear rolled down her cheek. I couldn‟t tell her no, that they weren‟t enough. I needed Bella now. I couldn‟t stand being away from her and that realization made me feel worse. Was I putting Bella before my kids by not being here? Was being with her going to drag too much of my attention away from the ones that needed it the most? Could I live without her? I felt a painful twist in my chest at the idea of not being with Bella again. I need her; she made me feel like there was more to life than grief and heartache. “Sweetheart, being with Bella won‟t change my love for you or Tony,” I started, wanting to make her understand. “Bella‟s my friend. We all need friends in our life.” She looked back up at me and I needed to help her understand. “You would be very lonely if you didn‟t have your friends, wouldn‟t you?” Liz nodded her head slowly in agreement to my question. “Well, so would I,” I whispered as my hands rubbed soothing circles on her back.

“Why can‟t you be friends with Uncle Jasper or Uncle Emmett?” Liz asked and I closed my eyes, dreading having this talk with her. “I am friends with Jasper and Em.” “Then why does Bella have to be your friend? She‟s a girl. Girl‟s aren‟t friends with boys unless they want to be their girlfriend.” Her simplistic view of a relationship would have been humorous in any other setting, but right now it just made me uncomfortable. “Sweetheart, Bella is my girlfriend.” Liz sucked in a quick breath at my admission and I wasn‟t sure how she was going to react to the news. After a few minutes of silence, she slowly climbed out of my lap and crawled into her bed. She curled up on her side and looked at me, tears welling up in her eyes. “So, you‟ve forgotten about mom,” she concluded, and again I was at a loss as to what to say. I shook my head and moved closer to her bed until I was at eye level with her. “Liz, I could never forget your mother,” I said, sweeping her hair at of her face and over her shoulder. She stared into my eyes for a moment, as if searching for something and then quickly rolled over and pulled the covers up to her neck. How could I explain to such a young girl that one heart could love more than one person unconditionally? That, I could be in love with Bella and still love Tanya? “I‟m tired,” she said, and I knew that I had been dismissed. There was no use in forcing her to talk. She only got hateful when pushed into a corner. I stood up and leaned over, kissing her damp cheek. “I love you, Lizzy,” I whispered, before leaving her room. As the door started to close, I heard a small whimper from her bed that tore another part of my heart out. I walked into the kitchen and with a heavy heart, reached for the liquor cabinet. Pulling out the Jack, I poured several shots into a glass and grabbed a Coke out of the refrigerator. I took a large gulp of the whiskey before pouring a few splashes of Coke in with it and swirling it around. “You know, you can tell a lot of what is going on with you by what you decide to drink,” Alice spoke from the entryway. “Really?” I took a long sip out of my glass, effectively draining half of it. “How‟s that?” I asked, not really wanting to talk to her but I knew that Alice was not one to back down when she thought I needed to work out my issues. “Well…usually when you‟re celebrating you pull out the Macallan,” she said thoughtfully as she came in and hopped up on the counter, her legs swinging slightly. “When you are upset the whiskey becomes your friend,” she said, pointing at the glass in my hand. I took another drink and then stared into the amber liquid. “When you‟re content you usually head for a beer,” she giggled slightly and then continued. “When you‟re frisky you usually go for the…” “Alice, please.” I interrupted with a small chuckle. “What?” she asked innocently. How in the hell did she know what I preferred when I was „frisky‟. I raised my eyebrow at her and she giggled again. “Don‟t give me that. I saw what you had in the refrigerator on the boat. Champagne and red wine? You were totally expecting to get lucky,” she teased and I couldn‟t help but smile at her. The light mood instantly changed with her next question.

“How‟s Liz?” Her face showed nothing but concern, as I let out a long breath. “She was better, but then I told her that Bella was more than just a friend.” Alice nodded her understanding. “Eventually, she was putting the pieces together so she would have eventually found out. It‟s probably best to let her know now rather than have her figure it out on her own.” I had to agree with Alice‟s logic but that didn‟t stop all of the doubts that were running around in my mind. “What is it, Edward?” Alice prodded as I drained the last of my glass. Looking deep into the empty glass I tried to gather my thoughts and what was really bugging me. “Do you think I‟m abandoning my kids?” I hesitantly asked. “What? No, of course not.” She scoffed at the thought but it didn‟t make me feel better. Alice always wanted what would make me happy. She is so black and white when it comes to matters like this that it‟s hard to listen to what she says. “Just listen, please,” I begged as I filled my glass up again, this time ignoring the Coke can sitting on the counter. “I feel like being with Bella might take away from Liz and Tony.” I ran my hands through my hair. “Shit, you saw Liz tonight... She needed me and I wasn‟t here.” I growled, angry at myself for doing what I swore I would never do again. “I abandoned them in my own grief when Tanya died. They needed me and I wasn‟t there emotionally. I will not do that to them again.” All of the anger at myself over the last three years came flooding back. “Wait a minute,” Alice said with an exasperated sigh. “First off, you can‟t be here one hundred percent of everyday at the beck and call of your children.” I rolled my eyes and drank down the remaining liquor in my glass. “You know what I mean, Alice,” I said a bit too sarcastically back at her but she seemed to take it in stride, ignoring my comment. “Secondly, yes you were the shell of a man that I know and love when Tanya was taken from us. I watched as you wallowed in your grief and tried to deal with it. Yes, there were a lot of things that you should have done differently. I‟m not arguing that.” She got down off of the cabinet as she was talking and now was standing in front of me, hands on hips with the Esme stare down. How does she do that? With one look, she had me feeling an idiot for ever doubting her. “But, Bella is making you…” she paused and looked apprehensive at continuing her train of thought. “Making me what?” “Making you whole again,” she concluded. “That‟ll never happen,” I said, but there was a hint of the possibility that what she was saying was right. “Okay, maybe not whole, but she's mending the pieces,” she corrected, coming over and taking my hand. “Edward, I like you like this,” she said and I saw all of the worry I had put her through over the last three years in that one statement. I pulled her into my chest and hugged her close.

“I want to be a better man. I want to be a better father,” I whispered, expressing my own fears. “Pushing Bella away won't accomplish that,” Alice whispered against my chest before pulling away and looking up at me. “But, what about Liz and…” Alice cut me off before I could talk myself back into a pessimistic mood. “Liz will be fine. Bella is a wonderful person. Eventually, Liz will see that.” I wanted to believe Alice, but there was always that constant worry that Liz was never going to accept Bella. “Now, how was your house call?” she asked while wiggling her eyebrows. “Ugh Alice! What are you doing? Taking lessons from Emmett on how to creep me out?” She laughed heartily and headed out of the kitchen. “No, if I was Emmett I would have asked you if you struck out, bunted, or hit a Grand Slam?” she said in between giggles. “Do I even want to know what the baseball references mean?” I asked while I put the lid back on the whiskey. “No, probably not,” she said with another laugh before turning to head back to her room. “Alice?” I called, stopping her before she got to her door. “Yeah?” “Thanks for everything. I couldn‟t have survived these last three years without you,” I said sincerely. She smiled back at me and nodded her thanks before slipping into her room and closing the door. I‟m going to have to get her a really expensive wedding gift. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Bella Swan-Black I worried all night about Liz and what Edward must be going through. There was a selfish moment when he first received the phone call from Alice that I thought Liz might be doing this on purpose to manipulate the situation. However, after seeing the look on Edward‟s face as he spoke to Alice, I realized that this might be a frequent occurrence. I couldn‟t help but feel bad for her. This had to be harder for her than any of us were giving her credit for. She was trying, I could see that. The few times where I had seen the snotty side of her were even justified. She was shocked to find Edward and I kissing and then when Tony and Seth were lost, she was scared. I sighed internally. I need to do something to help her realize that I‟m not the bad guy. I racked my brain for different ideas, but nothing was coming to me. I had just turned into the parking lot to the baseball field when I spotted Alice‟s yellow Porsche. Maybe I‟d talk with Alice and see what she thinks would help break the ice. I climbed out of my car and hurried to the baseball field. Seth was sitting next to Alice on the bleachers in his baseball uniform when I hopped up and sat next to him. His face lit up with my arrival and then he looked back at Alice with adoring eyes as she talked to him about baseball stats. I couldn‟t help the chuckle that escaped when I thought about the way Alice was winding my little boy around her pinky. The game was about to start, so I turned

to my son and poked him in the leg. “Aren‟t you supposed to be in the dugout?” I asked, wanting to ask my questions of Alice without little ears hearing. “Awww, mom. Coach said I‟m benched due to my injury.” “I know, but you should be rooting your team on. So, go on,” I coaxed, hoping that he went before I had to pull the dictator card and let him know that this wasn't a democracy and to get his tush down there. He gave one more longing look towards Alice before hopping down and walking over to the dugout. I watched as he kept his arm to his side, not moving it very much and I felt bad for not asking him how he was feeling. A long sigh escaped my lips as I contemplated my mommy of the year card being shredded. “What‟s up, Bella?” Alice asked, looking slightly concerned. I shook my head and looked up at her. “Actually, I was wondering how Liz was doing,” I asked while watching Anthony throw his pitch, striking out the batter. “She‟s doing better,” Alice said before standing up and clapping for Tony. “Nice job, slugger!” she hollered out at him. Tony looked over at us and gave me a little wave. I smiled and returned the greeting and then scanned the field for Edward. He was leaning against the dugout, staring in my direction. When he caught me looking at him he flashed me that gorgeous crooked smile that melted my heart. “She‟s at a friend‟s house today,” I heard Alice mumble next to me, dragging my attention back to her. “Hmm? I‟m sorry what was that?” I asked as I pulled my eyes away from Edward. “Liz,” Alice said with a knowing smile. “She‟s at a friend‟s house today.” “Right,” I said feeling my cheeks start to flush at being caught ogling her brother. “I wanted to talk to you about helping me with her.” “Like what?” Alice asked and I thought about how lucky I had been stumbling across this family. “Well, I want to do something for Liz but I‟m not sure what. Something that will help her see that I‟m not the enemy,” I said, hoping that Alice would help me. I should have never doubted that she would. A large smile came across her face and she nodded. “Maybe there‟s something you could do to help her deal with her loss. If she knows that you‟re not trying to bury her mother‟s memory then she might be more receptive,” Alice said as she stared past me in thought. “Let me think about it for awhile and see what I can come up with.” I nodded my thanks as we went back to watching the game. There was no surprise when the team won the game. Between James' and Tony‟s pitching, the other team didn‟t score any runs. Seth was right there in the middle of the team meeting after the game even though he didn‟t get to play. He high fived Tony and I was surprised when he turned to James and gave him a high five too. Maybe Tony was rubbing off on Seth. Alice excused herself mumbling something about her wedding and Rosalie just as Edward jogged over. The boys started picking up the gear and I felt that tingle that started low in my stomach the closer he got. He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. Much too chaste for what I wanted, but I was willing to wait until the appropriate

time and place. “I was thinking about going down to the farmer‟s market in Monterey,” he said as he rested his hands on my hips, looking down into my eyes with a small smile. “We could take the boys and then grab something to eat while we‟re down there.” “What about Liz?” I asked, hoping that he wasn‟t trying to keep us apart. “Alice is taking her to Rose and Emmett‟s to talk about wedding stuff,” he said, easing my mind. “Sure. That sounds great.” He rewarded me with another one of his stunning smiles and I found myself leaning towards him, wanting to feel his lips against mine and not really caring anymore about propriety. He brought both of his hands to hold my face steady while he brought his lips hungrily to mine. I felt his tongue sweep across my lips and when I opened my mouth to let him in he pulled away. A small sound between a whine and a whimper escaped my lips at the loss of contact. He chuckled softly and pecked my lips again, letting me know that that was it for now. Big tease. “Let‟s go boys!” Edward called as we started back towards the cars. We decided that Seth and I would ride with him, leaving my car to pick up when we came back into town. Edward turned the radio on and while the boys sat in the back talking about the game he reached for my hand and set it in his lap. Occasionally he would pick it up and bring it to his lips before placing it back on his thigh. I sighed inwardly, happy and content at the wonderful man that I had fallen in love with. I closed my eyes for a moment, savoring the thoughts of us living happily ever after. “What are you thinking, love?” I heard his voice whisper, not wanting to disturb the boys in the back seat. I opened my eyes to see a large smile on his face as he flicked his gaze between me and the road. There was no doubt in my mind that I loved this man. However, it wasn‟t something I felt like I could share with him yet. He had so many obstacles to get over and I didn‟t want him to feel like I was pressuring him into something that he wasn‟t ready for. There was no doubt in my mind that we were exclusively together, he made that perfectly clear on the boat, but love might not be where his feelings were at right now. “Just thinking about you,” I answered. I was trying to be vague but still let him know that he was on my mind. He smiled wider, if that was at all possible, and kissed my knuckles again. “Anything good?” he asked and I could hear him fishing for more information. I really didn‟t want the boys to hear what popped into my head so I leaned closer to him until my lips were pressed to his ear. “I was thinking about how wet you make me just sitting here.” His breath hitched at my teasing and I smiled to myself for getting that kind of reaction out of him. I kissed his ear and then sank back into my seat. I heard a low growl come from him and I chuckled softly as I innocently looked out the window. His hand squeezed mine and slid it up his leg. I glanced back at the boys and they were still talking animatedly about the game. “Do you feel what you‟re doing to me?” he asked just above a whisper but still not loud enough for the boys to here. He pulled my hand up until it was over his impressively hard erection. He pressed my hand into him and then it was my turn to suck in a breath. He groaned and then pulled our hands up, resting them on the console and far away from the object of my desire. We quickly found a parking place downtown and Edward helped me out of the car but not before I saw him making some adjustments to his pants. I smiled to myself as he helped me out of the car and I saw that no amount of adjusting was going to hide that from anyone. Edward turned to both of the boys as soon as they were out of

the car. “I want to be able to see both of you at all times so don‟t walk too far away,” He said in his no nonsense voice. Both boys nodded their heads and then walked a few paces ahead of us. Edward wrapped his arm around me and pulled me against his side. I loved the feeling of his protective and slightly possessive hand on my hip as he steered me through the market. There was jazz music floating through the crowds and I smiled at the excitement that was radiating off of the boys. This was the first time that I had been down here since moving back to the area. When Jake and I had lived here I was down here almost every week picking up fresh local produce. It had grown twice the size since I had been here and I found that I enjoyed all of the little craft and specialty booths that were set up. “Dad! Can we get a Sparky‟s?” Anthony begged as he ran up with puppy dog eyes, pleading with his father for whatever the heck a Sparky‟s was. Edward chuckled and nodded his head. “Sure,” he said and Tony gave a victory fist pump before grabbing a hold of Seth‟s uninjured arm and pulling him up to a small booth. “What‟s a Sparky‟s?” I asked Edward as he tugged me towards the boys. “Only the best root beer on the planet,” Edward answered with a chuckle. He quickly ordered two bottles because they were huge and told the boys to share it while he popped off the top and handed the other one to me. As soon as the beverage hit my tongue I was in heaven. I wasn‟t a usual fan of root beer but this stuff changed my mind instantly. “Mmmmm, that‟s good,” I said as I handed the bottle back to Edward. He took a long drink and I was fixated on the way his Adam‟s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed. A small shiver ran through me and he looked down at me with concern. “Are you cold?” he asked. I shook my head and looked away, not wanting him to see the lust and slight embarrassment that I‟m sure was shining from my eyes. I can‟t believe the control that this man had over my body. I had never wanted anyone, not even Jake, as much as I want him. We walked further down the market and I ended up buying some produce for dinner for the next few days and some bath salts that smelled like freesias and lavender. Edward pulled out his wallet each time, but I batted him away. Thankfully, he didn‟t argue and let me have my small victory. I had a feeling that he wasn‟t going to let me pay for dinner so there was no way that I was going to let him get these things. We were just about to the car when Edward pulled me to a small booth that had several jars with different colored plastic sticks. Each jar had a label. There was Cinnamon, Clover, Lemon, Peppermint, Sour Apple, Cherry, Orange, Raspberry, Pina Colada and Watermelon. I was still confused on what they were when Edward pointed them out. “What kind do you like?” he asked, motioning for me to pick something. “What are they?” I asked as I picked up a Pina Colada one. The lady behind the booth smiled and then launched into her sales pitch. I picked up through her ramblings of all natural and locally made, that they were honey sticks. “I‟ve never had them before so I don‟t know,” I told Edward and the lady whipped out a pair of scissors and cut off the tip of the one that was in my hand.

“Try this one and see if you like it.” she said quickly. I brought the stick to my lips and tasted the sweetness. It was good and it gave me an idea of what the rest of them would taste like. “I like the Pina Colada one,” I said as I offered it to Edward. He tasted it and nodded his head in agreement. He leaned in and touched his lips to my ear. “Think of all the fun we could have with these,” he whispered seductively, sending a shiver down my spine. My mind instantly went to drawing intricate patterns on his body and then licking it all off. When my little fantasy stopped I quickly looked up at him and he had that look in his eye that told me he was thinking the same thing. I looked back at the selection and quickly picked out a few. When he saw which flavors I picked, he grabbed about ten of each and handed the woman his credit card. Anthony was excited with the purchase and pleaded with Edward to give them one before dinner. Edward bit off the tip and handed each boy one reluctantly. I couldn‟t contain the giggle when I realized that he was reluctant because it was one less we would get to play with later on. He pulled me back up against his side and his hand slid into the back pocket of my jeans giving me a little squeeze before steering us towards the car to drop off our purchases. I don‟t even remember dinner because my mind was solely focused on the honey sticks, but I knew that our evening would end after dinner because Edward had an early shift. He had told me that he had filled Liz in on our relationship status so we both agreed that it was better to let her get used to the idea before he brought me home for another sleepover. I was disappointed but I completely understood where he was coming from. When he drove us back into Carmel, he pulled into the parking lot to the ball field and opened my door for me. Seth had already scampered out of the car and was waiting patiently for me to unlock the door. When he was settled in the back seat I turned back towards Edward and he took me in his arms. “I hate having you go home,” he whispered as he nuzzled my neck. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and played with the hair on the back of his neck. “Me too,” I said, placing a soft kiss on his cheek. He turned his head and claimed my lips in a kiss that was supposed to tide us over for a few days but I knew that it would only leave me longing for more. When we broke he gazed into my eyes before placing a peck on my nose. “I miss you already,” he whispered before opening my car door and helping me inside. He gave me one final kiss goodbye and then closed the door. “Me too,” I whispered to the closed door. “Me too.”

~*~ Baseball References to Sex: Strike out = Not getting it up or being denied. Bunted = Pre-mature ejaculation. Grand Slam = Four times in 12 hours.

~*~

Chapter 25 A Night In

Bella Swan-Black “Seth! Let‟s go!” I hollered across the house. We had ten minutes before the last game of the season started and I didn‟t want to be late. I laughed inwardly at being anxious to get to a baseball game. It had nothing to do with baseball. I hadn‟t seen Edward all week after our trip to the farmer‟s market. We had parted ways that evening and due to board meetings and double shifts at the hospital he didn‟t get home until late each night. We had determined that it was probably a good idea to let Elizabeth adjust before being more obvious in our affection towards one another. However, we had made plans for tonight and my anticipation was reaching ridiculous levels. I missed him. The phone in the kitchen started to ring and I contemplated letting the answering machine get it so we wouldn‟t be late when Seth picked up the phone. “Hello?” he answered and I saw his face light up at whoever was on the other end. It must be Alice, I thought with a small smirk. He had it bad. “DAD!” he yelled, excited to hear from his father. I was stunned momentarily at the idea that Jake had actually called. Finally. Stupid ex husband. “I want to talk to him when you‟re done,” I said to Seth as I walked out of the room, giving him time to talk to his father without seeing the scowl that I‟m sure was etched across my face. I went into the living room and sat down, trying to calm myself before I had to speak to him. I listened to the one sided conversation as Seth told Jake all about school, baseball and Anthony. I grimaced when he went into detail about how much time we were spending with Edward and his family. When Seth started answering questions about Edward I knew that the conversation needed to end. “Seth, say goodbye to your dad, we need to get to the game,” I reminded him. He nodded and said his goodbyes before he handed the phone to me. I told Seth to finish getting his stuff together and waited until he left the room before I took the phone and went out on the back porch. This conversation wasn‟t going to be pretty. “Jake,” I said with every amount of control I could dredge up. “It‟s about time you called.” “Listen Bells, I‟ve been really busy with council stuff and the shop…” I didn‟t want to listen to his excuses so I cut him off mid sentence. “Give me a break, Jake. It takes ten minutes to call your son. What happened to the fatherly concern about us moving so far away?” I accused. “You aren‟t hurting me, but pretty soon Seth is going to realize that you‟re not around and what am I supposed to tell him?” I could feel my blood start to boil at his actions hurting Seth. I knew if I didn‟t get control over my emotions I was going to end up screaming at him. “Wait a minute, Bella,” he started and I could almost see the defensive stance that he was taking. “I know that I‟m at fault here and I should have called sooner but you‟re the one bringing some guy around Seth.” I wanted to scream, he had no right to feel so self righteous. “You‟re such a hypocrite. You wouldn‟t let Leah anywhere around Seth and now you‟re shacking up with some guy?” “I wouldn‟t let Leah around Seth because YOU had an affair! I don‟t have any say in whether or not she is around now, no matter how much I dislike that home wrecking bitch around my son...” I stopped for a moment to take a breath and try to calm down. The audacity of this man, putting Edward in the same category as Leah was mind boggling.

“Seth fully understands that we are no longer together, so there is no reason for me to hide Edward from him and we are not shacking up, we‟ve only been on a few dates. You on the other hand, needed to keep Leah a secret because of what you did. You really didn‟t want the council to find out the real reason why I left, did you?” I played the one card that was going to shut him up. The last thing that he wanted was for the council to catch wind of his infidelity. There were only a few things that could disgrace him more than the real reason that I left. “Ouch Bella, that‟s a low blow,” he said, but thankfully the argument was over. At least for now. I‟m sure that the subject will come up again, but hopefully he‟ll realize that he doesn‟t want to push me on this. “When are you planning on taking Seth for the summer?” I asked, wanting to get this conversation over as quickly as possible. “That‟s why I‟m calling. Southwest has cheap flights right now and I wanted to know when the school year was over.” “June fifth,” I stated firmly. Seth emerged from the house with his uniform on and smiled up at me. I motioned for him to get into the car so he grabbed his overnight bag and ran for the car. “Alright, I‟ll see what flights I can make and get back to you. I was thinking that I could fly out and maybe stay the night at your house and then Seth and I can fly back, if that‟s okay with you?” I groaned internally at the thought of being under the same roof as him, but I knew that it was probably the best way. I didn‟t want to send Seth on an airplane for the first time by himself so one of us was going to have to do the flying. Besides, maybe Edward will let me stay at his house while Jake stays here. “Fine. I just don‟t want Seth flying alone unless he‟s okay with it.” I reiterated my request and heard his agreement on the other line. “If that‟s all, we have a baseball game to get to.” “So he‟s playing baseball?” “Yes, it‟s the last game and I don‟t have time to fill you in on a season‟s worth of plays.” “Wow, I really screwed up. I can‟t believe I missed this step in his life.” I could hear the remorse and knew that he really was feeling bad about his actions. “Listen Jake, call back later next week. I‟m sure Seth can talk your ear off about baseball for hours.” “Thanks Bella,” he said with a hint of sadness in his voice. I couldn‟t feel sorry for him. He had brought it on himself. I just hoped that he realized the damaged he could have done and wouldn't make the same mistake twice. “Sure, let me know when you plan on coming,” I said before we said goodbye and I hurried to grab my bag and head to the car. We arrived at the ball field after the game had already started so Seth ran over to the dugout, giving Edward a high five as he sat next to his teammates and cheered on the team. I saw Alice and Liz sitting on the bleachers and I instantly felt nervous. This was the first time I had seen Liz since Edward told her about our relationship. “Hello Bella,” Alice greeted warmly as I climbed up the bleachers and sat down next to her.

“Hey Alice,” I said with a smile and then leaned forward to look at Liz. “Hi there, Liz. How are you today?” I asked, trying to let her know that I wanted to get to know her. Her little body stiffened and she wouldn‟t look at me when she answered. “Fine, thank you,” she said in a formal, yet polite tone. The last time she was so formal with me things didn‟t go well. Alice, feeling the tension, decided to intervene. “We need to start planning the team party,” Alice began the conversation, telling me what past parties had been like and what worked and what didn‟t. We talked all throughout the game as I snuck in quick glances at Edward. It seemed like every time I looked over at him he was staring right back at me. He‟d always give me either his crooked smile or a wink, which would get my heart hammering in my chest until Alice would pull me back into the conversation. By the end of the game we had decided to wait until the weekend of the All Star game to have the party. That still gave us two weeks and since it was going to be on the beach in front of Edward‟s house there wasn‟t a lot to plan. Just the cooking and trophies, and Alice said she would take over the catering part, since she had all the connections. Edward came over and I immediately noticed that he was keeping his distance. I didn‟t take offense or worry overly much about his actions because I knew he was just trying to placate Liz. I just hope he filled Liz in on our plans to have another sleepover. “So are we ready to go?” Edward asked as Liz hopped down from the bleachers and went over to take his hand. I smiled and nodded my head in agreement. “Well you guys have fun tonight,” Alice said as she stood up and brushed off her pants. “Jasper and I are taking ballroom lessons tonight and then I‟m staying at his place.” “Ballroom lessons?” Edward chuckled and it was obvious he was taking note to have ammo for teasing Jasper later. “Yes, ballroom. You know, like the ones you took when you were in college,” Alice said with a smirk, effectively shutting Edward up. I smiled at the sibling banter going on between the two of them. I was slightly disappointed that I missed out on the teasing by being an only child. Alice waved goodbye as she headed towards her car. “Liz, can you go help Tony with the gear?” Elizabeth nodded and then ran over to help Tony put away the balls and bats. I felt Edward‟s arms snake around my waist and pull me against him so that my back was pressed against his chest. “I hope you don‟t mind,” Edward began as he placed a kiss on my neck, just below my ear, “but I hoped we could stay in tonight.” Another kiss was placed in the crook of my neck as he worked his way downward. I leaned more heavily back into him and nodded my head. “That sounds wonderful,” I agreed as he took my hand and we went towards the parking lot. The afternoon flew by as we played the never ending Monopoly game with Tony and Seth until it was dinner time. Elizabeth opted to spend the time on the couch reading while we haggled and bartered for properties. I couldn‟t believe how competitive Edward was, he wasn‟t going to be happy until he had Boardwalk and Park Place. Little did he know, I was not about to sell or trade him Boardwalk, but that didn‟t stop him from trying to bully, coax and bribe it out of me. He spent so much time trying to get his hands on my property that he almost

went bankrupt. I had a good laugh when we called the game and counted up our net worth. He had twelve dollars, making him the big Monopoly loser of the night. The boys went up to Anthony‟s room and Liz disappeared into her room when Edward and I went in to fix dinner. We seemed to move well together as we prepared dinner. Every need that I had was anticipated by him, making the process of cooking much more enjoyable with his company. “So, I was thinking,” Edward began as I put the chicken in the oven, “that we could take the kids sailing tomorrow.” The thought of being on the boat with him sent a wave of desire coursing through my veins. I scolded myself at my mind going directly in the gutter, but lounge chairs and champagne would never be thought of in the same light again. I looked up at him and he had that smirk on his face like he knew what I was just thinking about. “That sounds like fun,” I said as I felt the blush rising to my cheeks. “Why, Bella,” Edward said cockily as he pulled me into his arms. “I do believe you are blushing.” A small chuckle rumbled through his chest causing my nipples to harden at the feel before I composed myself enough to tease back. “Hmmm, it‟s just hot in here,” I said in as sexy of a voice I could conjure up before sliding my hand in between our bodies and rubbed his jean clad erection. That he was already completely ready for me was even more of a turn on than anything else he could have said. His hands wrapped around both of my arms and pulled me away with a small shudder. “I have plans, but for now we need to get dinner ready and then get the kids to bed,” he said with a small smile. “Plans?” I asked totally curious at what he could mean. He just nodded and smiled even wider than before. “Mmhmm, plans,” he clarified but wasn‟t going to give me any more details than that. “Those plans wouldn‟t have anything to do with honey sticks would they?” I asked. “Hmmm, maybe,” he elusively commented. “Then again, maybe it has nothing what so ever to do with honey sticks.” “Uh huh, sure.” I totally had his number. We spent the remainder of the evening having dinner and watching movies with the kids before Edward, a little too eagerly, pushed them up the stairs and into bed. He tucked Liz in bed while I argued the finer points of getting a good night‟s rest with two boys that claimed not to be tired at all. I was just coming out of Anthony‟s room when Edward met me in the hall. He placed both hands on my hips and drew me closer to him. “Let‟s go clean up the mess downstairs and they should be asleep by the time we‟re finished.” For the next twenty minutes we cleaned up the dinner mess, along with straightening up from the movie night that we had in the living room, all the while stopping intermittently to sneak in caresses and kisses. We walked up the stairs and Edward poked his head in to check on Liz. “She‟s sound asleep,” he whispered as he came back out. “I want you to go to my bathroom and slip out of your clothes. There‟s a robe in there that you can put on. I‟ll check on the boys and then be there in a minute.” He kissed me quickly on the lips then with a little nudge, pushed me towards his room. I gave him a side ways glance, trying to figure out if this had anything to do with honey sticks or if he really did have other plans. He just shook his head, as if telling me that he was not giving anything away.

I opened his door and quickly hurried to the bathroom. Hanging on the back of the door was a navy blue silk robe and I caressed it lightly between my fingers, enjoying the feminine feel of it against my skin. I slowly peeled off my clothes, folded them and then laid them on the counter. I ran my hand over the robe again before pulling it off of the door and slipping it on. My nipples went taut as the fabric slid across them and I wasn‟t sure if it was from the feel of the fabric or the anticipation of what was to come. I opened the door and came face to face with Edward, wrapped in a small blue towel that hung loosely from his hips, threatening to fall to the floor at any moment. My eyes couldn‟t help but roam up and down his well defined chest until they came back up to be met by his crooked smile. I flushed slightly at being caught admiring him but he never uttered a word of teasing like I thought he might. “The boys are sound asleep,” he whispered as it was his turn for his eyes to rake up and down my body. He walked closer to me and placed one hand on my hip while the other went up to wrap lovingly around my neck, tilting my head up until I was looking in his eyes. “You truly are a beautiful woman, Isabella,” he quietly spoke before his lips softly touched mine. I had been waiting all evening for this moment so I was a bit disappointed when he pulled away and took my hand. He grabbed a towel off of his bed and led me downstairs. When we reached the French doors leading to the patio I realized what he had planned. “Hot tub?” I asked as I saw his head nod quickly. He pulled the cover off and the steam escaped, causing a foggy cloud to hover for a moment before dissipating. He turned back to me with desire in his eyes. The back of his hands brushed over my hardened nipples, causing me to suck in a breath while his long fingers went to the silk ties to the robe. Edward‟s eyes came back up to meet mine and a gentle smile stole across his face before he bent down and kissed me softly. I didn‟t feel the robe leave my body until I felt his warm hands against my flesh. I stepped closer to him, pressing my body against his full length as his hands wandered to my back and dipped down until he grasped my buttocks firmly in his hands. In a quick movement, he swept me up into his arms, causing me to squeal at the sudden change in altitude. He chuckled lightly and leaned over the tub before slowly lowering me into the hot water. I shivered at the contrast of the water compared to the cool evening air. When I was completely in, Edward let go of me and stepped up onto the wooden step. Quickly, he pulled off his towel and threw it over the hook on the pergola along with my towel. I stared openly at him as he climbed the rest of the way in the tub, finding myself disappointed again when he was submerged under the water and away from my view. Edward pushed a couple of buttons on the side of the tub and I felt the bubbles and jets kick on. He sank back against a jet and I heard a soft moan come from his mouth before he opened his arms for me to climb in his lap. I didn‟t need another invitation. I straddled his lap as his hands gripped onto my hips, pulling me into him. I could feel his solid length pressing against my womanly flesh and I couldn‟t help but wiggle in his lap, causing a delicious friction. His eyes closed and his head flopped back onto the edge of the tub with a soft moan. When he opened his eyes I saw the same desire I was feeling reflected back at me. “Bella.” My name was a whispered prayer escaping from his lips, the sound making my heart swell with love. He grasped my hips tighter and I slid down his length, his shaft running up and down my slit. With each push up he rubbed my sensitive spot, causing me to moan and attack his neck furiously with open mouthed kisses. I had never had sex in a hot tub and the idea was more erotic than anything I had imagined.

“Edward, please,” I begged. I had no pride when it came to this man. Everything he did drove me crazy with a yearning for more. “I need you.” His mouth came down hard on mine and I cried out in pure ecstasy when he drove upward into my awaiting core. His arms wrapped around my back as he pulled me forward and took my breast into his mouth, sucking and nipping at the pebbled flesh. He guided me effortlessly up and down his length, the water helping gravity but not causing enough friction. “More, please.” As if Edward could read my mind he slid me off of him and flipped me around, my back pressed against his chest. He roughly pressed me up against the side of the tub, and I felt my desire increase with his forceful approach. My arms rested on the edge of the tub while the jet pulsated against my lower abdomen and all I could think was just a little lower and this could have amazing effects. Edward grasped my hips firmly and pulled me up to him, the stream of water now making connection with my overly sensitive flesh. He slid his hands over my stomach and through my curls until his finger was tracing circles over my swollen clit. His erection was pressed firmly in my backside as he leaned over so his lips were touching my ear. “Mmmmm, do you like that my Bella?” he asked, pinching the bud between his fingers. I let out a soft moan and let my head fall back onto his shoulder. “Do you like that pulsing between your legs?” Oh my! Where did this naughty Edward come from? You better stick around for awhile. He removed his finger and then pushed against me with his hips until my pelvis was pressed against the jet, my knees on the seat. My body reacted instantly and a loud moan escaped my lips. “You have no idea what those sounds do to me,” he whispered huskily in my ear. His hands played on my hips for a moment as his erection ground into me from behind. “Edward, stop playing and take me,” I groaned over my shoulder. His knee slid in between my legs and he pushed them apart before his hand traveled up my spine, sending electric sparks through my body. When he reached my neck he pushed me down until I was slightly bent over the edge of the tub. He entered me from behind and I muttered incoherently as he sheathed himself completely inside of my folds, pressing my pleasure spot against the jet. “Damn.” I felt him shudder as he held still for a moment. “I can feel the water from the jet flowing between your legs,” he groaned out and I couldn‟t help the smirk that crossed my face. I wasn‟t the only one enjoying the jets. He pulled out of me and while grasping my hips pushed back, meeting me half way. The water sloshed around us as his tempo became more erratic. At every thrust he would shove me back into the jet, increasing the sensation and making my legs quiver with pleasure. I felt his forehead press against my spine as his lips assaulted my back. The sensations of his lips on me, the water stimulating my clit, Edward‟s hips slapping into the back of my thighs and his glorious cock causing a delectable friction was almost too much. My walls contracted and spasmed around him while I arched my back and let the waves of pleasure take over. I bit my lip, muffling the sounds that were trying to escape while he exploded inside of me. He held still, buried deep within me while we both tried to regulate our breathing. Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my back once more before pulling me down until I was sitting in his lap, never breaking our connection. I let my head rest on his shoulder while he kissed down my neck. His thumbs drew circles on my stomach until they moved upward and cupped my cold breasts. He held me, trying to warm the flesh that had been exposed to the cold evening air while I sighed in contentment. “I was thinking that we could get warmed up here and then go upstairs and try out my new bed.” He huskily whispered in my ear. “New bed?” I asked looking over my shoulder at him. “Why‟d you get a new bed, the old one was so

comfortable?” He shrugged but wouldn‟t look at me. “It was time for a new one. Time to put old things to rest, so to speak,” he finally looked at me and that crooked smile was back in place. “What are your thoughts on being blindfolded?” Oh my! Naughty Edward is back!

~*~

Chapter 26 Day on the Boat Edward Cullen I sighed in contentment as Bella snuggled into the side of my chest, her head on my shoulder and her hand rested gently on my stomach. I pulled a lock of her hair through my fingers as I contemplated the evening‟s events. She was such a seductress. She was a temptation well beyond anything that I had ever experienced. The more I was with her the more I wanted her. This obsession I have with her can‟t be healthy. I smiled to myself at that last thought. I didn‟t really care if it was healthy or not. She was quickly becoming the most important person in my life, right along with my children and of course, Seth. She had a playful side to her that seemed to magnify when she was naked. My smile widened even further. We had eventually gotten out of the hot tub, slightly pruned but satisfied, and made our way back to my room. We spent the remainder of the evening trying out every flavor of honey stick we had picked up at the farmers market. Drawing intricate patterns across one another‟s skin and then following it with our lips, tongues and teeth. After we had our fill of teasing each other we made love again. I stifled a chuckle when I remembered her hair sticking to my chest and across her cheek from the mess that we had made. After an intimate shower and a fresh change of sheets we were finally snuggled in for the night. I lay awake and thought about our day tomorrow and how I couldn‟t wait to show Seth the joys of sailing. I was sure that he would love it as much as Tony and Elizabeth did. As I was making lists of what needed to be done on the morrow, I heard a low cry coming from down the hall. I disentangled myself from Bella, trying not to wake her to go and check on the children one more time. As I was pulling on a pair of pajama bottoms and a t-shirt, I heard Liz cry out. I quickly made my way to her room to find her sitting up in bed sobbing uncontrollably. I went to her bedside and sat down, pulling her gently into my arms. She didn‟t fight me, but instead buried her face in my chest and continued to cry. I soothingly rocked her back and forth as I hummed her lullaby quietly in her ear. Eventually her sobs lessened and I could hear her breathing even out, letting me know that she had fallen asleep. I saw a movement out of the corner of my eye and looked up to find Bella standing in the doorway. “Is she okay?” Bella asked, concern written in her every word. “Yeah,” I whispered, trying not to wake her up. “She‟s been having nightmares every night.” I pulled the covers back and laid her tenderly on her bed before pulling them back up and kissing her forehead.

“What is she dreaming about?” Bella whispered as she walked further into the room. “Mostly her mother, but she‟s had some anxiety about me leaving,” I told her honestly, wanting Bella to understand why I had been reluctant to spend the small amount of time that I had off at her place. Bella nodded in understanding and then took my hand, bringing it up to her cheek. I cupped her face and affectionately ran my thumb across her cheek bone. “Let‟s go back to bed,” Bella said as she took my hand and led me out of the door. “Daddy?” I squeezed Bella‟s hand in apology when I heard Elizabeth‟s voice and then turned back into my little girl‟s room. “Yes, sweetheart?” I asked as I came up to her bed. Her small hand reached out for mine and then she tugged me down to her level. “Don‟t leave me,” her voice was merely a whimper but it said so much. She was scared and wanted me to stay with her. I felt torn between wanting to go back to my room with the amazing woman standing in the doorway or comforting my precious daughter who only ever asked for Alice at times like these. I looked longingly at Bella and she smiled sadly at me and shook her head, letting me know that she was fine and for me to stay. Bella then turned and went back to my room. “I won‟t leave, honey,” I said as she scooted over and let me climb in with her. We lay their quietly and I could sense that she was on the verge of sleep when she completely caught me off guard. “She doesn‟t need you,” I heard Liz mumble before she fell asleep against my side. As I laid there staring at the ceiling, I thought about what those words could mean to a nine year old. Liz obviously was still harboring animosity towards Bella. I groaned internally, wondering when or if she was ever going to accept Bella. What if she doesn‟t? This was not how I imagined spending this evening. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO “Wake up! Wake up!” I heard Anthony yelling before he launched himself on to my undefended stomach. “Umpf!” I grunted out when he knocked the wind completely out of me. “Tony. GET OUT OF MY ROOM!” Liz roared in my ear, causing Tony to stop bouncing on top of me and look apologetically down at his sister. “I‟m sorry Liz, but it‟s time to get up! We‟re going sailing today.” His enthusiasm quickly returned as he hopped off of me and tore out of the room, yelling that he was going to help Seth wake up Bella. I chuckled lightly and heard a loud frustrated sigh come out of Liz. “Why do Bella and Seth have to come with us on the boat?” Elizabeth whined as she sat up and folded her arms across her chest. “Because, I invited them,” I stated simply, hoping to the end the discussion. “But I don‟t want to spend the day with them. You said that the boat was supposed to be just for us after mom died,” she whined again and I wondered where this selfish child had come from. “Elizabeth,” I stated in a firm voice. “Bella and Seth are coming because I want them there. If you can‟t be nice

about this I will call Alice and have her come and get you,” I warned, knowing that she wouldn‟t want to miss out on the outing. I could almost see the steam come out of her ears as she thought about what I had said. After a moment she jumped out of bed and went towards her closet. I sat up and turned towards her. “Elizabeth,” I warned, wanting to make sure that this argument was going to end here, in this room. “Are you going to behave today?” She turned back to look at me and I was shocked at the venom that spewed from her lips. “I will be good but I hate it! I don‟t want them here! I don‟t want them on our boat!” she spat out and I felt my own anger start to bubble to the surface. There was a small knock on the door that caused us both to look up and my heart sank as I saw Bella standing in the doorway. She had a small smile on her lips but I could see the anguish in her eyes. “I wanted to find out if you liked chocolate chip pancakes?” Bella asked Liz with a smile that didn‟t quite reach her eyes. I cut in before Liz could say something snotty. “They‟re her favorite,” I said giving Liz a look that said not to contradict me. “Thank you, Bella. I‟ll be down in a minute to help you.” Bella waved her hand at me and then started to pull the door closed. “No hurry,” she said before she disappeared behind the door. I groaned inwardly, knowing that Bella had heard the whole conversation. I turned back to Elizabeth and she had a smug smile on her face causing my anger to resurface quickly. “Elizabeth Ann,” I said sternly, wanting to make sure that she understood the consequences if she continued on this path. She looked at me and the smug smile slid off her lips, replaced with a look of shame. “I will not have you ruining this day. Bella and Seth have done nothing but show kindness to you, even in your most hateful moments. You need to stop acting like a spoiled brat and return to the nice young lady that I know you are.” Elizabeth looked down at her feet and nodded her head. It was the best that I was going to get out of her so I stood up, walked over to her and pulled her into a hug. “I love you, sweetheart,” I said before leaving her to get dressed. When I reached the kitchen, Tony and Seth were sitting at the counter cracking eggs in a bowl while Bella ladled out the pancakes on the griddle. She turned to me and gave me an understanding smile. I knew that Elizabeth‟s words had hurt her so I came up behind her and wrapped her in my arms. She stopped what she was doing and sank back into my shoulder. I nuzzled her neck and breathed in the smell of her hair before pulling it back and placing a kiss on her neck. “I‟m sorry that you had to hear that,” I whispered in her ear so as not to alert the boys to our conversation. She let out a long sigh and then turned in my arms so she was facing me. “Seth and I don‟t have to go today,” she said quietly. I started to shake my head but she put her finger over my lips to keep me from talking until she was done. “Edward, it‟s okay. Take your kids out for the day. We can do it another time.” I gripped her waist tighter and brought my mouth back down to her ear. “No, I want you and Seth there. Liz will behave,” I assured her. “I don‟t want Seth to be disappointed because Liz is being nasty.” Bella pulled back enough so that she could search my eyes. She obviously felt reassured because she nodded. “Alright, if you think this won‟t make things worse.” I wasn‟t sure if this was going to make things worse but I knew that I couldn‟t give in to Liz‟s tantrums. I gave Bella a smile and kissed her lips softly.

“I missed you last night,” I whispered against her mouth. She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me with a little more fervor. “Mom! Pancakes!” Seth said frantically before Bella swirled around and flipped the now crispy pancakes over. With a sigh she pulled them off the griddle and gave me a scowl. “You can‟t do that while I‟m cooking,” she accused with a twinkle in her eye. I held up my hands in surrender and chuckled. “Not me! That was all you, love,” I said with a smirk, causing her to hit me playfully on the arm with the spatula. We enjoyed our breakfast with the kids and I felt some hope when Liz came down and didn‟t start a fight. She didn‟t apologize but at least there seemed to be some kind of truce. Bella packed a picnic lunch for all of us as I stayed on top of the boys until they were dressed and ready to go. I never had to run heard on Elizabeth, she always knew what needed to be done and did it, where Tony usually needed gentle guidance to help keep him on track. With Seth around it was almost a full time job keeping the two focused long enough to get dressed and in the car. Within an hour after breakfast we were on our way to the wharf. Anthony and Seth jabbered in the backseat about boats and baseball while Elizabeth listened to her iPod. “My grandpa Charlie has a boat and he would take me fishing all the time,” Seth said excitedly as we pulled into the parking lot. “Yes, but that was a small fishing boat,” Bella said with a smile as she looked over her seat at her son. “This one is a huge sailboat. It has a couple of bedrooms, a bathroom and a kitchen.” “It has a couple of berths, a head and a galley,” I corrected with a chuckle. “Whatever,” Bella said with a roll of her eyes. “Wow!” Seth said in awe. “That‟s awesome!” I didn‟t think that his excitement level could reach any higher but he was bouncing with anticipation in his seat at Bella‟s description. I looked in the rearview mirror and smiled at the child that I was starting to think of as one of my own. We had spent so much time together with baseball that I had learned his little quirks and I was glad that he and Tony had become friends. “We‟re here!” Tony shouted from the backseat as I parked the car. The boys jumped out and bolted for the harbor gate before Liz was even out of the car. I saw Bella‟s face start to panic and I chuckled lightly. “It‟s okay Mama Bear, the gate is locked. They have to wait for us to get down there to get inside.” She gave me a thankful smile and I chuckled again before I put my arm around her waist, the picnic basket in my other arm, and guided her towards the boat docks while Elizabeth had run ahead to join the boys at the gate. When I slipped my key into the gate I stopped and looked at both of the boys, knowing that Liz didn‟t need to hear this lecture. “No running on the boat docks. I don‟t want to fish you guys out of the bay,” I said while they nodded simultaneously. Both boys walked a little too quickly down to the boat slip that held the Esme. When we caught up, Seth was standing in front of the boat with his mouth hanging open in wonder. I ruffled his hair before pulling down the boat ladder for everyone to climb up. After the kids were onboard I motioned for Bella to go ahead of me and she gave me a skeptical look.

“Last time you went first and helped me up,” she said, grasping the ladder in her hands. “Yes, but I much prefer the view from this end,” I said smacking her on the butt as she stepped up on the first step. She let out a little squeal and then looked back at me with a laugh. “Behave,” she said with a wink, causing me to chuckle before helping her up the rest of the way. Once everyone was settled in I motored the boat out of the harbor with Seth at my side. He wanted to know what every little button did on the control panel and as soon as I answered one question, he had another. I showed him which buttons opened the sails to the boat and he absorbed as much as I told him. Elizabeth had found a quiet spot to read and Anthony was standing at the bow of the boat, leaning over a little farther than I was comfortable with. “Tony!” I said in an almost panicked tone. He looked back at me and I shook my head. “Don‟t lean so far over the railing!” I shouted over the wind as we passed the speed buoys. He nodded and then walked back to us. “I thought I saw dolphins,” Tony said as he came back to us. Seth got so excited at the prospect of seeing dolphins that he tripped over the rigging, catching himself before his face connected with the deck. Tony helped him up and they both went to the bow and looked out over the bay. Bella came above deck after putting our lunch in the refrigerator and went up to watch with the boys. After we were well on our way, I unfurled the sails, set the auto pilot and went to join them. Tony let out a squeal of delight when a dolphin shot out over the water directly in front of the boat. “Liz!” Tony yelled in his excitement, causing her to look up from the book that she was reading. “Come look! Dolphins.” He was practically jumping in his enthusiasm. She looked regretfully past Tony to the dolphins but then shrugged her shoulders and went back to her book. I felt the annoyance flare up at her stubbornness. She wanted to see the dolphins but she thought that by removing herself from our activities she was somehow punishing the rest of us. I shook my head and caught Bella‟s frown at Liz‟s aloofness. It made me even more irritated that Liz's actions upset Bella. Bella caught my look and shook her head before wrapping her arms around my waist. “Stop scowling. You‟re going to scare away the dolphins,” she said teasingly. I felt the agitation melt away when she looked up at me with a small smirk on her lovely lips. I kissed her forehead and rubbed her arms tenderly just as another dolphin jumped out of the water. “What are they doing?” Seth asked, looking from his mother and back to the dolphins. “They are going to get runned over by the boat.” Bella let out a soft chuckle before shaking her head. “No, they‟re playing,” Bella assured as she looked over the edge. “They‟re riding the bow wave.” She pointed down at the dolphins. “The boat is pushing them along. They have been clocked before at thirty five miles per hour. When they jump out of the water it‟s called porpoising.” As if on cue two dolphins jumped out of the water. “They‟ll also ride the wakes of whales and even chase other species away so they can have it all to themselves,” Bella concluded as Anthony and Seth looked on with wonder. Since Bella had their attention she didn‟t want to miss an opportunity to show them a little of why she loved her job. “Did you know that the Monterey Bay has a canyon that is two miles deep?” She asked, causing all of us to shake our head. “Every time MBARI sends down the remotely operated vehicle more than a mile below the surface, they see species that have yet to be given scientific names to.”

“What‟s MBARI?” Anthony asked with a wrinkle in his forehead. “Monterey Bay Aquarium Research Institute,” Seth piped up causing Anthony to look at him in stunned silence, not expecting Seth to know the answer. Bella and I laughed at the two of them before she went back to telling the boys more about the sea life she had studied when she was in college. “Did you know that the people who made Finding Nemo came to the Aquarium to find out more about jellyfish?” Both boys got really excited at that tidbit of information and I chuckled at how Bella was keeping their interest in fish by relating it to a Disney movie. I lowered the sails while Bella set up lunch in the cockpit. When she was finished she came over to me and hugged me tightly against her. “Thank you for a wonderful afternoon,” she whispered as I squeezed her tighter to me, placing a small kiss on the top of her forehead. “Thank you for coming.” We ate lunch as Anthony and Seth rambled on while Elizabeth ate in silence, only answering when spoken to. Bella had tried to engage her in conversation several times but gave up after Liz would only give her one word answers. We cleared the table and the boys went back to watching the waves while Elizabeth went below to take a nap. Hopefully she‟ll wake up in a better mood. Bella curled up on the double lounge chair, her arm thrown over her eyes to keep the sun out. My eyes traveled down her body and flashes of her naked and under me had my body instantly reacting. I lay down next to her and pulled her on her side so she was facing me. Her eyes blinked open and a smile played at her lips. “I can‟t get out of my mind what you looked like while riding me in this very chair,” I said with a groan before pulling her closer and kissing her collar bone. Her hands went into my hair and she moaned my name before pulling my face down to hers. She kissed me fiercely and I clung harder to her before she pulled away and looked over my shoulder. I leaned back and looked at what caught her attention and both boys were giggling and sneaking glances at us. I sighed and turned back towards her. “I suppose this isn‟t the best time to be reliving those memories,” I said reluctantly causing her to grin and shake her head. “No, I suppose it‟s not,” she agreed. I rolled onto my back and pulled her to me, having her rest her head on my shoulder while I played with her hair. It was so peaceful out here on the bay. The sound of the boys talking quietly, the waves slapping against the boat causing a gentle rock and Bella wrapped in my arms. There wasn‟t a place I wanted to be more than right here, right now. I heard a soft snore come from the woman in my arms and grinned like a fool. I settled in, wrapping my arms tighter around her and closed my eyes. There was no way I was going to fall asleep with two mischievous boys running around above deck but that didn‟t mean I couldn‟t enjoy the moment. “Dad! Dad!” Anthony yelled excitedly making me groan from the interruption. “Whales!” I looked over my shoulder and sure enough, there was a large humpback whale and her baby a few hundred yards away from our boat. Bella stirred and her eyes opened slowly to gaze up into mine. “I‟m sorry,” she said with a yawn and then she stretched like a cat, exposing a sliver of skin where her shirt rode up. I couldn‟t help rubbing my fingers over her bare flesh causing her to shiver before curling back into me. “I

guess I didn‟t get enough sleep last night.” I heard the playfulness in her voice and chuckled lightly. “Dad!” Anthony whined as he pulled at my arm, trying to get me to be more interested in the whales. “Sorry, Slugger,” I apologized as I sat up, releasing Bella and letting Anthony pull me to my feet. “Look!” He pointed out at the whales that were still pretty close. “I see, I see. Why don‟t you go get your sister? She might want to see them too and she‟s been napping long enough.” Tony smiled wider and ran below deck while Seth stayed and watched the whales rise out of the water. After a few minutes Tony emerged without Liz, looking forlorn and dejected. “Where‟s Liz?” I asked Tony and he grimaced slightly at my question but didn‟t answer me. “Anthony?” “She said she didn‟t want to be up here with Bella and Seth,” Anthony said, trying to muffle his answer but I knew that Bella caught every word when I heard her intake of breath. Damn. I stalked towards the hatch, going to let Liz have it with her rude behavior when I was stopped by Bella standing in front of me. I looked down into her distressed face and my anger at my daughter doubled. “Edward, don‟t. Please just leave it alone,” she pleaded with me and I would give her anything not to see that look on her face again. “If you go down there and force us upon her then she will only despise this situation more.” A part of me knew that what she was saying was the truth but how could I just let Liz treat Bella like this? I tried to calm down enough to see what the result of my outburst would accomplish and all I could surmise was that it wouldn‟t end well. I raked my hands through my hair in defeat and Bella seemed to relax when she realized that I wasn‟t going to pursue my original line of thinking. “Dammit Bella,” I said pulling her into my arms. “It‟s not fair that you have to always deal with my baggage.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and looked up at me. “It‟s okay, Edward,” she soothed. It didn‟t make me feel any better that she seemed okay with all of the drama that had been happening lately. “It‟s not okay. You don‟t deserve Liz‟s treatment and I feel like I‟m powerless to do anything about it. I don‟t want to push her because then she may never accept you, but then again what she is doing is wrong.” I sighed and lowered my forehead to hers, taking a deep breath of the salt air. “I‟m sorry,” I whispered. She nodded against me, letting me know that she understood. “Cooooooommmmmmmeeeee Bbbbaaaaaaaaccccckkkkkk!” Seth yelled out across the ocean in a voice that sounded strangely like a whale call, causing Bella to laugh. I gave her a questioning look as Tony started in on some silly song that I vaguely remember hearing from Finding Nemo. “Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do we swim, swim.” Both boys were grinning ear to ear as they continued to chant the song over and over again. Bella was smiling widely at the silliness and I felt my anger dissipate enough to enjoy the moment. We decided that it was probably best to start heading back into shore, so I let the boys captain the boat while I stood close by reminding them what needed to be done first so as to get us on our way. After a couple of hours we were sailing into the harbor so I took over, lowering the sails and motoring into the boat slip. Elizabeth didn‟t come back up on deck until I had cut the engine and tied up the boat. She came up from below

and sat in the cockpit, away from everyone else, until I lowered the ladder and called the boys over. After both boys were standing on the dock I reached for her to help her down. Once her foot was securely on the ladder I whispered in her ear so that only she could hear me. “I‟m completely disappointed in your choices today.” She looked up at me and I saw the sadness reflecting in her eyes. I pushed down the guilt I was starting to feel at calling her out on her bad behavior and turned my back to help Bella with the picnic basket. When I turned back around, Liz was standing away from the boys wiping at her cheek while she waited for us. Bella gave me a questioning look and I just shrugged, not wanting to tell Bella why my daughter was currently upset. The drive back to Bella‟s was quiet due to the fact that both boys had fallen asleep in the back seat. Bella looked thoughtfully out the window so I took her hand in mine and rubbed it soothingly. She smiled at me but it didn‟t reach her eyes. Instead, I saw doubt and sorrow and I hated seeing it. When we reached her house, I picked up Seth and carried him to his room. Bella slipped off his shoes and covered him up before giving him a kiss on the cheek. She pulled me out of his room and kissed me earnestly in the hallway. I pulled away and tried to find the emotions she was feeling in her eyes but all I saw was the doubt and sorrow again. “Bella,” I whispered, reaching for her again but not before I saw a tear slip out and slide down her face. I wiped it away with my thumb and held her close to me, rocking her back and forth. “It‟ll all work out,” I said. I wasn‟t really sure if I was trying to convince her or myself. She nodded her head and pulled away, swiping at the stream of tears that had escaped while I was holding her. “You should go. The kids are waiting for you,” she whispered as I kissed her one last time before leaving her standing in the hallway.

~*~

Chapter 27 Tantrums Bella Swan-Black I lay in my bed staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. Rolling over, I glanced at the clock. 2:42, Great! It has been hours. I slammed my head back down on the pillow in frustration, threw my arm over my eyes and tried to drown out the barrage of thoughts that invaded my mind. From the moment that Edward kissed me goodbye, I felt an uneasy sense of dread. Things were not looking better with Elizabeth and her stubborn refusal to come above deck pushed me into having two very different reactions. The first was panic that Seth would be hurt by her words and actions. Thankfully, he hadn‟t heard Anthony‟s explanation of why Liz hadn‟t come above to see the whales. After my protective instinct was put to rest by my son being so completely oblivious, I felt sadness. I was sad for Liz but especially for the struggles that Edward was now facing. There was no getting around the fact that we faced a major obstacle in our relationship. Edward and Alice seemed to think that Elizabeth would eventually warm up to me and snap out of it, but the more I was around her the more I worried that that would never be the case.

Edward had insinuated on several occasions that he should have handled things differently after Tanya had died but I was afraid that his avoidance of the grief had also been pushed onto his children. I wondered if they had ever really had a grieving time for their mother. From what he had said in the past, it was easier to not think about things too much. Didn‟t he realize that children need to talk about their loss? Unlike adults, they can‟t put all of their emotions into nice little boxes to open up later when they felt like dealing with it. I groaned and rolled onto my stomach, punching the pillow and trying to let out the silent frustration that was building. I could see that Edward was at a complete loss as to what to do about Liz. A certain part of me was silently thankful that he wasn‟t as perfect as he originally seemed. To see him struggle at parenting made me feel slightly better at my inferior skills as well. Heaven knows we all make mistakes, I just hoped that his mistakes weren‟t going to come back around and bite the both of us. I buried my nose further into the pillow. What was it that I could do to help Elizabeth accept me? My mind went to fun things and wondered if she liked the aquarium or maybe museums. What are you thinking Bella? These are things you enjoy. You need to find something that she likes. Alice takes her shopping and she seems to enjoy that, however she already had a shopping buddy in Alice and I was afraid I lacked the skills to make that anything but torturous. My mind continued to think of things that little girls may like to do but none of them seemed to be a grand enough gesture to help her over the hurdle and convince her that I don‟t wish to replace her mother. I sighed loudly and rolled over to flip on the lamp next to the bed. I grabbed the current book that I was reading, propped the pillows up behind my head and settled in for a sleepless night. Reading always calmed me down and helped me sleep. It had been my escape when my life was turned upside down. I slapped my hand against my head in an “ah ha!” moment. Liz likes to read. I had seen her with countless books over the last few months. Maybe I could appeal to her bookworm side. Maybe we could find common ground in something that we both love to do. I felt a small sense of hope run through me as I tried to rack my brain for a book that she may be interested in. I wasn‟t really up to speed on young girl‟s reading preferences so I told myself that I would look into it in the morning. Feeling like I had some kind of plan, I felt my eyelids droop, so I flipped off the light and sank down into oblivion. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The week flew by with a flurry of work and the occasional evening spent with Edward and our kids. I hadn‟t stayed the night with him since the evening before our outing on the boat and I couldn‟t wait to be wrapped up in his arms again. We had a silent understanding that we needed to not overly flaunt our relationship to Elizabeth, hence our decision to limit our sleepovers to the weekend. Edward was sweet every night as he would kiss me goodnight in a way that let me know that if things were different I would be with him every night. I pushed down the continual doubt as Liz continued to give me the cold shoulder. “Bella?” Alice called as I walked past her office on my way to take my time card to human resources. I stopped and poked my head in her door. “Hey Alice. What‟s up?” I asked, pushing her door open further and walking in. “I was just about to leave and wanted to see what your plans were this weekend?” Alice asked as she closed the drawer in her desk and locked it.

“Well I was going to go to the bookstore and then Edward asked if Seth and I wanted to stay the night,” I said while I felt the slight heat rise to my cheeks. Alice chuckled at my embarrassment and then bounced out of her seat. “I need to pick up a cookbook for Jasper so do you mind if I go with you?” Alice asked as she gathered up her things. “Actually, that would be great. I was thinking about getting some books for Liz. I know how much she likes to read so I thought maybe this would help break the ice,” I said with a small smile. Alice's grin widened as she bounced over to me and ushered us out of her office. “I think that‟s a great idea,” Alice vibrated beside me in her excitement and with her approval. I felt a sense of relief that maybe I was on the right track. “She loves to read and I can tell you which ones she already has.” I nodded my head in agreement as we made our way to the parking garage. When we arrived at the bookstore, Alice took off to find her cookbook while I went to the children‟s section. I browsed the aisles finding several books that I had seen on the Scholastic list that I had pulled off the internet. I started piling them in my arms, wanting to get a large variety to ask Alice‟s opinion about. I found a few for Seth and Tony too, not wanting to leave them out. One particular book jumped out at me that was sitting on the display table so I sat the books on the floor and picked up the brightly colored book. I opened it up and read the first couple of pages. The story caught my attention immediately and I walked over to a fluffy chair that was nearby and sat down to read a little more. I read of a little boy that lost his mother and the sorrow that he felt from the loss. It was a story about his search to know more about his mother‟s new home. His father would tell him stories every night of the beautiful place that she lived in and how she watched over them all. By the time I had finished the book I had tears in my eyes, but I wasn‟t sure if I should buy it. Alice came bouncing around the corner just as a tear slid down my cheek. Her smile faltered and she hurried over to me. “Bella, what‟s the matter?” she asked as she kneeled down in front of me, placing her small hand on my knee. I shook my head and swiped at the tear, holding up the book that was in my hand. “Book,” I said pathetically. She smiled and took the book out of my hand and as she thumbed through it a thoughtful look came over her. “Oh Bella, I think this is perfect for Liz,” Alice said with a small smile and I thought I saw her eyes glistening before she stood up and turned away from me. “Was there anything else you think she might enjoy reading?” she said as she walked towards the display table that I had found the book on. Standing up, I quickly went over to the stack of books on the floor. “There are all of these,” I said as I knelt down and showed her the selection that I had picked out. Alice looked down at the books and smiled. “Awww, I haven‟t seen some of those books since I was a kid,” she said, a nostalgic gleam in her eye. “I love the Little House on the Prairie series and every girl needs to read Charlotte‟s Web.” “Yeah, I liked them when I was a child too,” I said gathering up the books. Alice halted me and snickered as she bent down and picked up a purple book. “Hannah Montana?” she asked as she looked at me with wide eyes. “How is Hannah Montana going to open up the world of literature to my overly obsessed niece?” We both chuckled and I shrugged.

“It doesn‟t matter,” I said as I snatched the book out of her hand and set it on top of the pile of books. “I‟m kissing up and I figured that it couldn‟t hurt to throw in something that could earn me some brownie points.” Alice heartily agreed with my assessment as she scanned the titles of the other books in my hands. “You can put back the Tale of Despereaux,” she said with a small laugh. “She‟s read that one so many times the cover is almost falling off.” I laughed and handed the book to Alice so she could put it back on the shelf. I had several well loved books that were in exactly the same condition and I felt a small thrill that what I was doing was the right thing. This would be something that we could talk about and hopefully she would open up a little more if we had read the same books. Soon we were out the door with my large stash of children‟s books and Alice, with Jasper‟s cookbook. I tried to follow Alice back to the house but that girl had a lead foot. By the time I pulled into the driveway at Edward‟s house, he was waiting for me outside since Alice probably gave him the heads up that I was behind her. He had that sexy, crooked smile on his face while he opened my door and helped me out. “Hello, beautiful,” he purred into my ear as he pulled me into his chest. I instantly wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his chest, inhaling deeply. He always smelled so good. “How was your day?” he asked, pulling away from me and looking down into my eyes. “Perfect now,” I said, going up on my tippy toes to kiss his lips softly. He squeezed my hips and then turned back to the car, reaching in the backseat for the bag of books. “What‟s this?” he asked while I grabbed mine and Seth‟s overnight bags. “A few books I picked up for the kids,” I said casually as he took my hand and walked me up to the house. “How much did you spend?” He looked at me with that look that I had seen a hundred times before. It was the look of determination that he got whenever he pulled out his wallet. I shook my head and glared at him, snatching the bag out of his hand. “None of your business,” I retorted and stomped off towards his bedroom before he could argue with me about paying for the books. When I got half way up the stairs I felt his hands snake around my waist and lift me up. I squealed in surprise, hearing him chuckle softly against my back. He carried me up the rest of the stairs and set me down on the landing before pulling me quickly to his room. He pushed open the door and tugged me into the room, causing me to laugh at his enthusiasm. Once inside, he locked the door and took the book bag and overnight bags and tossed them in the corner of his room. I‟m sure I looked funny with the goofy grin plastered across my face. I loved seeing the playful side of him. There wasn‟t any sign of the cool composed doctor that usually was always present and even though I loved that side of him too, this side was unpredictable and completely exciting. Edward circled around me, keeping a good three feet away, but making it perfectly clear that he was going to pounce at any moment. The anticipation of his next move was thrilling and I found myself turning to maintain eye contact with him as he walked gracefully around me. He had made a full circle before he parted his lips and his tongue came out to wet his bottom lip. A small groan embarrassed me as it slipped out unexpectedly. I was becoming impatient at what his next move would be and I think that was exactly what he wanted. He took a step towards me and I instinctively took one back. He smiled wider at me, his green eyes sparkling in the glow of the setting sun. He took another step towards me and with a giggle I took two steps back, feeling the bed against

the back of my knees. With a triumphant grin, he launched himself at me, sending us both tumbling onto the bed. I let out a loud squeak, that was between a chuckle and a scream before his lips hungrily devoured mine. Edward‟s hands were everywhere. One was tangled in my hair while the other ran down my body until his fingers wrapped around my knee. He stroked the area behind my leg and then hitched it up so that it was wrapped around his waist. I felt his extremely hard arousal push into my core and I broke the kiss with a low moan that came from deep within my chest. He felt heavenly, his body pressed against mine and the carnal need that radiated off of him only fueled my own desire. “God, I missed you.” He breathed heavily into my kiss before taking my bottom lip in between his and sucking it into his mouth. His hips ground into me again and I felt that burning deep inside that he always seemed to set aflame. My hands tangled into his hair as I kissed him back with more fervor. Our actions were quick and before I knew it all clothing had been ripped away by our impatient hands. There was no need for foreplay; we had both waited all week for this moment so when he swiftly slid into me, I was ready. His pace was relentless and the small grunts and moans of pleasure sent me closer to my release. I wrapped my legs around him as he drove harder into me, his face buried into the crook of my neck. I felt his teeth gently nip at the tender flesh and the sensation was the nudge that I needed. I pressed the heels of my feet into his backside pushing him harder into me as I felt my pelvis explode with my orgasm. Crying out, I dug my nails into his back and with a final push he threw his head back. My eyes locked on his face as his eyes rolled back into his head with a final moan. The tendons in his neck were straining against the power of his release. He collapsed on top of me, yet kept the majority of his weight resting on his arms. Edward‟s nose grazed my ear before he placed a tender kiss on the soft skin below it. I wrapped my arms all the way around his back and pulled him closer, wanting to feel his weight pushing me further into his bed. He kissed a trail down to my collar bone and sucked gently. “Where are the kids?” I asked, remembering that I hadn‟t seen them when I walked in the house. “Alice is entertaining them,” he whispered, putting my mind at ease as he continued lavishing my neck with wet kisses. I loved this part of our intimacy almost as much as the actual act. He never just rolled over and fell asleep but instead would treasure our time together with tender caresses and soft words of adoration. I hugged him closer and buried my face in his neck, enjoying the moments that were always too short and so far in between. He let out a long sigh and rested his forehead on my shoulder. “We should really go downstairs and help Alice with dinner.” I groaned into his neck and shook my head. “Two more minutes,” I whispered, trying to persuade him to hold me just a little longer. He chuckled lightly and rolled to the side, gathering me into his arms as he went. He buried his face in my hair and I could hear him breathing in the scent before he placed a small kiss on top of my head. “What did you do today?” I asked, hoping that it would distract him a little longer. “My shift ended just in time for me to pick up the kids so I took the boys out to work on their pitching,” he said with a small squeeze. “We just barely got home before you arrived.” “How‟s Seth‟s arm?” “His pitching arm is fine. His injured one is still sore but he didn‟t complain,” he said, brushing the hair off of my

forehead and kissing it lightly. “He‟ll be fine next weekend for the All Star game.” I nodded, trusting Edward completely in his judgment; he wouldn‟t do anything to hurt Seth. “Do you think he‟ll be pitching in the game?” I asked tentatively. “Yep,” he said popping the „p‟. “Why? Are you worried?” His eyes met mine and there was a hint of teasing in his tone. “I just wanted to know if I needed to bring the leash for Mama Bear,” I said with a small giggle. “Mmmmmm, leashes,” he said with a seductive smirk. “Can I hold it?” I slapped him in the arm playfully. “Stop it. You‟re going to get me all hot and bothered again and then where is that going to leave me?” “Ummm…in my bed…naked,” he said as he assaulted my neck with loud growling noises. I squirmed and tried to push him away as the giggles increased at his unyielding attack. He pushed his weight on top of me as his hands grabbed my wrists and brought them above my head while continuing to nip and growl into my neck. “E-edward,” I giggled between breaths. “S-stop!” I screamed in amusement. He didn‟t let up until there was a loud bang on the door. “Dinners ready,” Alice‟s voice drifted through the door. Edward ceased his attack and groaned into my neck. “Get your butts dressed and hurry up!” she said with a chuckle before we heard her footsteps on the stairs. I felt my cheeks flame at the realization that Alice knew perfectly well what we had been doing in the confines of his room. We got up and quickly got dressed, making our way downstairs where Alice and the kids had already started eating. “Mmmmm, something smells good,” I said as I slid into the chair next to Edward‟s place. “Chicken Parmesan,” Alice answered as she popped a piece of chicken in her mouth. “I swear I should have been born Italian,” she said as she savored the bite that she was chewing. “Then Jasper would have to fight Nino off with a stick,” Edward said with a chuckle as he poured olive oil on his plate. Alice just rolled her eyes and went back to eating. “Liz,” I said cautiously, “I picked up a few books today at the bookstore that I thought you might enjoy.” When she didn‟t say anything I went on, hoping that she would be more receptive once she knew what I had gotten. “There are a few books that I enjoyed when I was your age.” “Thanks.” Her one word answer almost reverberated against the now quiet dining room. She didn‟t even look up from her plate in acknowledgement. I glanced at Edward and his jaw was clenched but he didn‟t say anything, both boys had stopped talking to listen to the conversation and were now openly staring at her rude delivery of thanks. Seth recovered first and looked over at me. “Did you get the Beedle the Bard book?” Seth asked hopefully. I nodded with a small smile, still hoping that Liz would become more interested in the books. “There‟s a Hannah Montana book in their too,” I commented, off handedly, trying to pull something besides indifference out of her. She looked up from her plate but looked at her father.

“Can I be excused?” she asked, never once looking at me. Edward gave her a curt nod and she grabbed her plate and took it to the kitchen. I felt Edward‟s hand glide up to my thigh as he gave it a small squeeze. I smiled up at him but I could tell that he knew that Liz‟s lack of interest had bothered me. I shrugged it off, not wanting him to make a big deal out of it. The boys went out to the patio while Edward and I cleared the dishes. We shooed Alice out since she had made dinner and went to work putting the kitchen back in order. “I don‟t understand how she can dirty every plate, bowl and platter in the kitchen every time she cooks,” Edward grumbled as he dried and put away the dishes that I had washed. He had a dishwasher but there was something more intimate about doing them together. “Stop whining and keep drying,” I teased as I put the last dish in the drainer. “I‟m not whin-” he started when a loud, high pitched scream came from upstairs. “Get it OUT!” Liz‟s annoyed voice floated downstairs. Edward rolled his eyes and put down the dish towel before we heard a loud cry that sounded like Seth. Edward flew up the stairs with me right on his tail to find Seth doubled over, a tear rolling down his cheek. Edward went first to Seth, kneeling down as he whispered a few words to him that I couldn‟t hear. Seth nodded and then Edward turned his piercing stare to his daughter. “Did you hit Seth?” he asked in an authoritative voice. I stood there slightly shocked that Elizabeth would resort to physically hurting Seth. Liz‟s chin jutted out defiantly and she didn‟t deny the accusation. “Did. You. Hit. Seth?” Edward asked again, this time in a more demanding tone. Her lip quivered for a moment but she still didn‟t say anything. “Are you okay, Seth?” I asked, not wanting to interrupt but also needing to know that he was fine. He nodded his head but turned a wrathful stare to Elizabeth. “She hit me because Tony and I brought Sam to see her.” I groaned inwardly, knowing that Sam had to be some kind of critter. “Sam?” Edward asked, looking from Seth to Elizabeth. “Sam‟s the lizard Tony and I found in the backyard,” Seth said and this time my groan was audible. “He let a lizard go in my room!” Liz huffed as she stomped her foot to emphasize her anger at the situation. “We didn‟t let it go. You hit me and he got away,” Seth corrected as he continued to stare down Elizabeth. “Wait!” Edward said as he held up his hands for them to stop. “There is a lizard running around somewhere?” he clarified, trying to keep his cool. Seth nodded and pointed towards Liz‟s room. “Anthony ran after him. He‟s in Liz‟s room somewhere,” Seth said in annoyance. Elizabeth let out another half huff, half scream and stomped closer to Seth. “I hate you!” she wailed at him, causing Edward to pull back slightly at her outburst. “You brought that disgusting thing into my room! I wish you had never become friends with Anthony! I wish you and your mom would just go away and never come back!” Edward reached for Liz and grasped her by the arms when she had doubled up her fist and looked like she was going to clobber Seth again. He turned her towards him and gave her a firm shake.

“Elizabeth,” Edward‟s voice rose in volume but never got to the point where he was yelling. “That was horrible to say. You need to apologize.” By this time, tears were streaming down her face. She stuck her chin further out and shook her head in blatant defiance of Edward‟s command. He looked like she had slapped him by the stunned expression on his face. A moment later Anthony came out of Liz‟s room with the lizard trapped between his fingers. He looked over at Seth and gave him an apologetic half smile. Seth nodded but then turned his stare back to Elizabeth. I was surprised that he hadn‟t laid into her yet. Seth was not usually this even tempered when attacked so intentionally. After a moment of Edward staring down Elizabeth, it was clear that she wasn‟t going to back down. “Go in your room and get ready for bed,” Edward said evenly as he released Liz‟s arms from his grasp. “Dad, she needs to apologize,” Anthony said from beside me. Edward ran his hands through his hair and gave a pointed look to Elizabeth. “Shut up Anthony! I will not apologize!” I heard Edward growl lightly before she stomped her foot again and then her hate filled eyes turned to me. “I don‟t want your books. I don‟t want anything from you, ever! Why did you have to come and ruin everything? I wish I was dead!” Elizabeth screamed before she turned quickly and went into her room, slamming her door in Edward‟s face. I felt the horrible dread bubble up from the deepest pit of my stomach. “Anthony, Seth, please take Sam outside and let him go.” Seth and Anthony both nodded at Edward and ran down the stairs leaving us standing in the hallway. He stood up and held out his hand to me. “I‟m so sorry,” he whispered as he led me down the hall to his room. When we went inside, I glanced at the book bag lying in the corner of the room and I let out a strangled sob that I didn‟t know was there. Edward took me into his arms and tucked my head under his chin. “Bella,” he whispered so quietly I wasn‟t sure if I heard him correctly. His hand stroked my hair as I buried my face further into his chest and silently cried. She wasn‟t ever going to accept me. It was going to take a lot more to change her heart than a few books. I shook my head, trying to shake off the thought that were bombarding my mind. She comes first. She has to come first. I could never ask him to push her feelings aside. She needs more help than any of us can give her. I felt my heart tighten and my breathing hitch at the implication of this latest outburst. All of my perfectly constructed happily ever afters just came crashing down around me. I felt the sobs start to come and I pushed them down. I needed to get out of here. “We need to go,” I croaked out but Edward held me tighter and I felt him shake his head. “No, don‟t go.” His voice was a whisper but there was a hit of panic laced within. I pushed away from him gently and gave him an apologetic, tear stained gaze. “I‟m sorry, Edward,” I said, trying to convince him and myself that it was best to give Liz space. “Don‟t let Liz‟s tantrum cause you to run away,” Edward begged as he took my hand and brought it to his chest. “Please, don‟t go.” With the way his eyes were begging me to stay I almost didn‟t go. My resolve was weakening

and he must have felt the hope because he pulled me closer to him and kissed my lips tenderly. His kiss had the opposite effect than I‟m sure what he was going for. I pulled away and shook my head. “No, I‟m sorry Edward but I won‟t stand by and have Seth be raved at again tonight.” This was not much of a concern to me since Seth had pretty thick skin but I needed to say something so he would let me go. He looked momentarily dumbfounded before he recovered and nodded his head. “If you think that‟s what‟s best for Seth,” he conceded in a whisper and I fought down the sob that threatened to burst from my lips at his easy acceptance of my motherly concern. I nodded and went over to grab the overnight bags and then made my way to the bag of books. I reached in and took Seth‟s book out before turning towards Edward and waved a hand at the books on the floor. “I‟ll just leave these for Liz and Anthony,” I said before walking quickly to the door. Edward was instantly behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist as he pulled me against his chest. He buried his face into my neck and kissed the spot where my neck and shoulder meet. “Will I see you later?” he asked and I could hear the doubt in his voice. He was worried that once I walked out the door I wasn‟t coming back. I felt that tightening in my chest again; feeling like every ounce of happiness was being squeezed out of me. I turned in his arms and wound my hands in his hair before kissing him gently. I pulled away before he could deepen the kiss and darted out the door, wiping the tears on my sleeve. As I reached the kitchen, Seth and Anthony were coming back into the house looking forlorn. When Seth saw me he opened his mouth to ask a question but I cut him off before it left his lips. “Let‟s go, we‟re going home,” I said, hoping that this would be the night that he would decide not to argue with me. Seth just nodded his head and said his goodbyes to Anthony. I turned towards the door and Edward was standing at my side, his hand resting lightly on my lower back. We walked out to my car and he opened the door for me without a word being said. He leaned down and pecked my lips one last time before standing back up. “Call me tomorrow,” he said before closing the door and watching me back away. I pulled out of the driveway knowing that there were too many things that I needed to straighten out. For now, I let my emotions carry me home as I silently cried.

~*~

Chapter 28 Heartbreak & Stomachache Bella Swan-Black As soon as we got home I sucked up all of the emotions I was feeling and went to work at being a parent. It was the most difficult thing I had done since Jake‟s betrayal. All I wanted to do was climb in bed and cry until I couldn‟t cry anymore. However, I couldn‟t show Seth how much I was hurting over Elizabeth‟s actions. I hurried around the house busying my hands with menial tasks until it was time to put Seth to bed. I sent him to the shower and took a heavy breath as I realized I only had about a half an hour to keep it together. Once Seth was tucked away in bed I could face all of the uncertainty and doubt that I was feeling.I felt a single tear slide down

my cheek as I quickly wiped it away. Just thirty minutes more. The phone rang as I heard Seth shut off the shower so I quickly rushed to the kitchen to grab it. “Hello?” “Bells?” I never thought I would be relieved to hear Jake‟s voice, but at that moment I realized I didn‟t have it in me to talk to Edward just yet. “Hi, Jake,” I answered as a dripping little boy instantly appeared at my side, towel wrapped around his waist and jumping up and down. “How are you doing?” he asked as I pushed Seth towards his room and told him to hurry up and get dressed. “I‟m fine,” I answered, not wanting to get into a conversation about what was truly going on. “Did you find out about flights?” “Yeah, that‟s why I‟m calling,” he said quickly before he went into telling me the days that he arranged to take Seth. “That sounds fine,” I agreed, trying not to think about Seth being gone for almost six weeks. “Bells?” Jake said in a low voice that I knew he used when he didn‟t want to tell me something. “Just spit it out Jake, I‟m in no mood to beat around the bush,” I said, exasperated at his hesitation. “Leah moved in, so she‟ll be taking care of Seth when I‟m at work.” I stopped the growl that was forming in my chest and swallowed the resentment that was building. I knew that this was coming but that didn‟t make it any easier. I hated the idea of my innocent son being around that woman. I must have been silent too long because Jake started rambling and making excuses that I had no desire to listen too. “She‟s really great with kids and there‟s been enough time that Seth shouldn‟t ask too many questions. Besides, you‟ve had him around that guy so he‟s used to seeing-” “That guy, as you so eloquently put it, is Edward and it‟s completely different.” I felt the anger rising and I couldn‟t fight back the tears that had been threatening to fall since I got home. “I know that there is nothing that I can say about who you have around Seth but I want you to know that I don‟t like it,” I growled, wiping at the tears. I felt Seth tugging on my shirt so I restrained myself from saying anything further. When Jake started to defend himself I needed to get off of the phone. “Seth is standing here and I‟m sure he‟d love to tell you about baseball,” I said cutting him off and handing the phone to Seth before Jake could say anything more. Seth eagerly took the phone with a happy smile and walked back to his room to talk to his father. I kept one ear fixed on their conversation, ready at any moment to jump in if Jake started getting nosy again about my relationship with Edward. Seth talked about school and his dislocated shoulder before he spent the good part of an hour filling Jake in on the baseball season. He talked fondly of Anthony but didn‟t bring up Edward at all; making me feel somewhat relieved that Jake wasn‟t asking questions that were none of his business. There was a tearful goodbye before Seth brought me the phone. “Dad wants to talk to you,” he said as he handed me the phone.

“Thanks, honey. Go get in bed and I‟ll be in there in a minute,” I said as I let out a long breath and tried to gather enough patience to talk to Jake. “Why didn‟t you call me and tell me he dislocated his shoulder?” he demanded. It hadn‟t even crossed my mind to do so and I was suddenly on the defensive. Can‟t I have one conversation with this man without it turning into an argument? I took a deep breath and decided that apologizing was probably the best way to placate him and get off the phone. “I‟m sorry, I probably should have called but you know how clumsy he is and it wasn‟t life threatening,” I explained hoping to calm him down. It was his turn to breathe a heavy sigh. “Yeah, I guess you‟re right, but I want to know when he gets hurt bad enough to take a trip to the hospital.” “Sure, I‟ll call you if something happens again,” I agreed, hoping that we were at the end of our conversation. “Bells, if I could turn back time I would have done things completely different,” he said barely above a whisper and I briefly wondered if she was somewhere near by. “I know Jake,” I said with a sigh. “But things are the way they are and we all have to live with the decisions we made.” There was a long pause on the other end of the phone. “Are you happy, Bella?” His concern reminded me of the Jake that I knew when I was in college, the guy that I fell in love with and loved me in return. Even though I could remember that love, it wasn‟t anywhere near what I felt for Edward. What we shared was comfortable but not the fire and passion I had with Edward. I couldn‟t help the tears that came back in full force. “Bella?” he asked when I didn‟t answer him immediately. I sniffed a little too loudly and swiped at my eyes. “I have to go,” I said, not wanting to break down completely on the phone. “Sure, alright,” he said and I was grateful that he didn‟t press the issue. “It‟s only a couple more weeks until I come get Seth. Is it still okay if I stay at your house? I mean, if it‟s not, I could get a hotel or-” “No. It‟s fine Jake,” I interrupted again. “There‟s no reason for you to spend the money on a hotel. You can sleep on the couch.” “Thanks, Bells.” We said our goodbyes and I went into the bathroom and splashed cool water on my face, trying to erase the traitorous tears so that Seth wouldn‟t worry. I quickly went into his room and kissed him goodnight before walking in my room and collapsing onto my bed. Every emotion that I had pushed away came quickly at me in a rush as my mind went over the day's events. Every scenario that went through my mind to help Liz accept me ended in the same way as it did today. I finally came to the understanding that there wasn‟t anything that I could do to help her if she wasn‟t willing to give me a chance. So where did that leave me and Edward? That was the question that I didn‟t want to face because I knew that if I was in the same situation, where I needed to choose the happiness of Seth or my own happiness, I knew that I would choose Seth‟s happiness. I felt the tears, hot, as they cascaded down my face. A sob tore from my throat as I rolled over and buried my face in the pillows. My heart broke over and over again as I kept coming to the same conclusion. I had to end my relationship with Edward. He would eventually come to the same realization and I didn‟t want him to feel the guilt over breaking my heart.

How would this decision affect Seth? Would Edward want to break all ties and pull Anthony away from Seth? I shook my head at the thought. Edward would never intentionally hurt either boy. Seth would be going to his father‟s for six weeks and baseball was almost over. I thought about the All Star game and then the party afterwards. Just two weeks later school was out and Seth would be on his way to Washington. I made up my mind that after the team party I would talk to Edward. That gave me a week to figure out how I was going to end the best thing that had ever happened to me. With my plan formulated, I climbed under the covers, fully clothed, and cried myself to sleep. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO I spent the rest of the weekend avoiding Edward‟s calls. I called and left messages on his phone at home when I knew that he was at work, avoiding calling him on his cell phone but not wanting him to think that I was angry with him. By the time Sunday evening rolled around I was feeling physically ill from not speaking to him. At around nine o‟clock, after I had gotten Seth in bed, the phone rang. I knew it was him and I considered not answering it but if I knew Edward at all, I knew that he would end up on my doorstep if I didn‟t. “Bella?” Edward‟s normally smooth voice sounded somewhat relieved when I answered. “Hi,” I said sheepishly. “If I got your answering machine one more time I was going to come over there and see if you were alright.” I chuckled at knowing him so well. “Sorry, we‟ve had a busy weekend.” I tried to play off the avoidance but I knew that he could see through it. The silence hung between us as we both quietly contemplated what to say next. I heard a long sigh through the phone. “I miss you.” His simple declaration brought tears quickly to my eyes and I sat heavily onto the couch as I tried to regain my composure before answering him. “Me too,” I choked out, the tears trailing down my cheeks. I had been mistaken when I thought that all of my tears had been shed over the last two days. “When can I see you again?” he asked and I could hear the longing and hope in his voice which only made me feel worse. “Are you going to practice pitching with the boys this week?” “I have evening shifts until Thursday. Em‟s going to hold a practice on Tuesday and Thursday,” he explained. With him working evenings, I wouldn‟t be able to see him until Friday evening, the day before the All Star game and team party. “Friday?” I asked, trying to stifle the sound of my cracking voice. “I guess that‟s the best we can do,” he said dejectedly and I nodded even though he couldn‟t see me. “Alice is home now. Do you mind if I come by for a little while?” My heart was screaming yes but my mind was making me wary that if I saw him now he would know what was coming and I couldn‟t bring myself to do this to him yet. “That‟s probably not a good idea,” I said quickly, before my heart made a different decision.

“Oh.” I heard the disappointment in his voice and it drove the stake that much further into my heart. “I just haven‟t been feeling well today. I think I may be coming down with something,” I hurriedly explained, hoping that he would understand. He chuckled over the line and I could feel the first smile I had in two days pull at my lips. “I can make a house call,” he said in a seductive tone that had not only my heart but my treacherous body screaming in approval. “I was just on my way to bed so I wouldn‟t be a whole lot of fun,” I explained. “No, that‟s fine. You should get your rest,” he said and I could hear the disappointment again. “Goodnight,” I whispered. “Bella?” His voice cracked, causing me to hate myself even more. “Yeah?” I held my breath and waited while he let the silence ring in the air between us. Finally, he sighed deeply. “Goodnight, love,” he whispered back before cutting the connection. I sat on the couch holding the phone to my chest as I let the tears go. I sobbed when I realized that I would not be hearing those endearing words from him for much longer. I woke up Monday morning with a searing headache but pulled myself together enough to get Seth to school and me to work. One look at me and Angela pushed me back out the door and told me to go home and not come back until I was feeling better. I barely made it home when my stomach decided that it couldn‟t hold back. I spent the remainder of the afternoon hugging the porcelain god. I eventually called Alice and asked if she would bring Seth home for me, which she graciously agreed to do. “Oh my, Bella!” I heard Alice‟s voice as she barged into the bathroom and saw me with my head resting against the cool porcelain of the tub. She quickly ushered the boys and Elizabeth out of the doorway and drew a bath for me and then proceeded to clean up the pile of tissues that I had made since camping out in the bathroom. When I raised my head to protest she shushed me before pulling my clothes off and easing me into the tub. “Stay in there until I come back,” she ordered in a demanding tone that said she was in charge. I just nodded and sank further down into the warm water. After awhile she came back, but I couldn‟t open my eyes from the searing pain in my head. She asked me questions on what I had eaten today and if I had any cold medicine. When I answered her, she repeated everything I said making me realize that she was talking to Edward on the phone. I couldn‟t bring myself to care one way or another at this point. When the water was starting to cool down considerably she came back in and helped me out of the tub. At any other time I would have felt embarrassed at the vulnerable way that she was seeing me but all I could feel was gratitude at her selflessness. “Thank you, Alice,” I croaked out after I had slid on a pair of flannel pajamas and crawled in bed. She pulled the covers up to my chin and smiled down at me. “That‟s what friends are for, silly Bella,” she said and I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes as I realized that this was another thing that I was going to lose. She brushed the damp hair off of my forehead and smiled down at me.

“I‟m taking Seth to our house for tonight. If you‟re still not better by tomorrow then he can stay until you're feeling better.” I could do nothing but nod my thanks. “Now, I‟ve made some chicken noodle soup that you need to try to eat.” I groaned at the thought of food but she just clucked her tongue. “Edward wants you to try and eat something.” I just nodded as she got up and went to get my dinner. She sat with me on the bed while I slowly took a few bites of soup. When it stayed down I ate a little more. Satisfied, Alice took my bowl and informed me that she would update Angela and check on me tomorrow. I burrowed myself under the covers and fell asleep quickly. Sometime in the early morning hours I felt my bed sink down under the weight of a body and strong arms wrap around me, pulling me close. I woke up around mid afternoon, feeling sticky from sweat and completely congested. I rolled over to find my bed empty and I wondered if I had dreamt Edward‟s presence. I got out of bed on shaky legs and made my way to the bathroom. Leaning in to the shower, I turned on the water before stepping out of my pajamas and climbing in. I let the warmth of the water flow over my head and shoulders, hoping the steam would open up some of my airways. “You‟re up,” I jumped at the unexpected voice of Edward who was peeking in to the shower. I could only nod as I pushed the water out of my eyes and met his gaze. His eyes were tender and held his concern. “How are you feeling?” “Like death,” I said in a nasally voice. He grinned at me and I found myself smiling back. “Come here,” he said, motioning for me to step to the other end of the tub. When I was standing in front of him he placed both hands on either side of my head and kissed my nose softly before bringing his thumbs up and running them from my nose over my cheekbones. He massaged the area a few more times and I felt my sinuses open up enough to take in a large breath through my nose. “Better?” he asked, and I nodded my thanks. “It won‟t last very long so take your shower and I have breakfast ready for you.” I cringed slightly and he caught my uncertainty. “It‟s better to have something in your stomach than nothing at all.” I thought momentarily about the dry heaves that I had yesterday and agreed with his assessment. Sliding back into the water, I finished my shower and then climbed out to Edward holding a very warm towel that he must have pulled out of the dryer. “Thank you,” I whispered as he dried off my body carefully. He smiled up at me as he slid the towel around my thighs. If I hadn‟t felt so awful I would have thoroughly enjoyed his ministrations. Edward held open my fuzzy bathrobe and then wrapped it around my body and tied it shut. Taking my hand, he led me to the kitchen where he had a hot bowl of Cream of Wheat waiting on the table. I raised my eyebrow and he chuckled softly. “I can make cereal without burning it,” he said lightly and then held out my chair for me to sit. He sat with me in comfortable silence as I slowly ate my breakfast. “I have to tell you that I‟m a bit relieved that you‟re sick,” he said quietly, causing me to look up at him in bewilderment. “I thought you were avoiding me when you said you didn‟t feel well on Sunday,” he clarified and I felt my face flush as I quickly looked back down at my cereal before he saw in my eyes what was going on in my mind. I glanced back up at him and gave him a sad smile. Though I wanted to ease his apprehension, I couldn‟t. Edward gave me some over the counter medicine for my sinuses and then helped me back into bed. He laid down on top of the covers and held me close as he ran his hand through my hair, humming a melody that I had never heard before.

“What is it that you‟re humming?” I asked, snuggling closer to him. He stopped singing it and then shrugged his shoulders in dismissal. “Just a song that is stuck I my head,” he whispered quietly, as his hands moved from my hair to my back, rubbing small circles up and down. I buried my face into his chest and quickly fell asleep. I woke up later that afternoon to an empty bed and Seth standing next to me. I gave him a weak smile and pulled myself up. “Hey there,” I groaned out, scooting over for him to climb up on the bed. “Is Alice here?” “Yeah, she‟s making soup,” Seth said as he wrinkled his nose in disgust. I chuckled lightly, knowing that he hated soup. “Can I stay at Tony‟s again tonight?” Seth begged and turned his puppy dog eyes to me. “I don‟t know, let‟s see what Alice says.” His face lit up and he began bouncing on the bed. “She said I could but it was up to you. She said it depends on how you felt.” He stopped bouncing and then looked at me with a scrutinizing gaze. “Do you feel better?” “A little but it‟ll probably be better if you stay another night with Tony,” I said quietly and then I remembered the last time he was over there. “Are you getting along with Liz?” Seth looked away and I groaned inwardly. “What happened?” “Nothing happened. She just doesn‟t talk to me,” he said despairingly. I felt a small sense of relief that at least there hadn‟t been any more blow ups. I decided to change the subject to not let Seth think to deeply about Liz‟s rude behavior. “How was practice today?” Seth‟s eyes twinkled at my question and he launched into a minute by minute recap of everything that happened. I was so glad that he had found something that he got so much joy out of. Eventually, Alice came in with another steaming bowl of chicken noodle soup. Seth darted out of the room to go feed his pets and play with Anthony. “Do you mind taking him one more night?” I asked Alice as I drank the soup eagerly. She rolled her eyes and handed me some juice. “Don‟t be ridiculous. We love having Seth over,” she said with a smile. “Not all of you,” I pointed out and Alice‟s smile fell as she looked over her shoulder making sure the boys weren‟t around. “I‟m sorry about the other night, Bella,” Alice said, pleading with her eyes for me to understand. “She‟s unpredictable at best and it was not fair that she took out her anger on you and Seth.” I nodded my head, not condoning or condemning her behavior. Alice took my hand in hers and looked up at me imploring me to understand. “Please Bella. Don‟t let this drive a wedge between you and Edward.” I felt like she was seeing my future and knew what I had planned. I looked down at my lap and she squeezed my hand gently. I didn‟t know what to say.

A part of me wanted to spill my fears and doubts to her but then the other part of me knew that it wouldn‟t change my mind and might only cause more problems in the process. I squeezed her hand and then released it. “I‟m kind of tired now,” I said hinting that I wanted to go to bed. She gave me a look that said she knew what I had planned but I shook it off as my own paranoia and leaned back against the pillows. Alice smiled sadly at me and picked up my dishes before leaving me. I rolled over onto my side and the silent tears began to fall again. Sometime in the night I felt Edward‟s arms wrap around me and hold me close but when I woke up in the morning he was gone. I felt much better, but decided to stay home from work and not overdo things. At about noon I got a phone call from the school that Seth was sick. I pulled on some clothes and drove down to the school and picked him up. For eighteen hours he was sick and grouchy. He was just like his father when it came to getting sick. Thankfully, he didn‟t have the upset stomach, just the stuffiness and fever. By Thursday he was feeling much better, but I still kept him home to make sure. Edward had assured me that he would be better by Friday night for our date. I knew that it would break my heart to pieces but I desperately needed one more night with him. One more night to show him, the only way that I could, that I loved him. That even though we were going to be apart, I would never stop loving him. I could never tell him these things but that wouldn‟t stop me from selfishly taking the only thing I could from him. One last night.

~*~

Chapter 29 One Last Night Edward Cullen The weekend that Bella left with Seth was the hardest two days that I had endured in a long time. I spent the remainder of the evening avoiding my daughter at all costs. I was angry at her outburst and didn‟t trust myself to not say something hurtful. If you don‟t have anything nice to say, don‟t say anything at all. Every time I saw the bag of books that Bella had brought over, I felt my blood boiling again. I knew that when Liz was like this there was no talking to her so I let it go; she would feel remorse and regret at her actions soon enough. Saturday was a long, drawn out day as I had worked back to back shifts. Every break in my day, I would try to call Bella, but I would always get her answering machine. After leaving several messages, I was starting to feel that maybe the latest Cullen drama was going to be too much for her and she was going to realize that it wasn‟t worth it. That we weren‟t worth it. I felt a little relieved when I came home and there was a message from her on my answering machine. Bella‟s voice sounded off, almost sad. I found myself playing her message several times, trying to convince myself that things were fine. The more I listened to it, the more I felt the dread seeping into my thoughts. I eventually erased the message, not wanting to torture myself with the „what if‟s‟. After a restless night, I was woken up by Anthony climbing under the covers and flipping on the TV. The familiarity of our Sunday morning ritual was dampened when Liz never came in to hang out. I decided that there was no way I could avoid the confrontation that I knew had to happen. After Tony had his fill of toon time with dad, I went to her door and knocked lightly before opening it slowly.

Elizabeth was sitting at her desk, furiously writing on a piece of paper and completely ignored my presence. “Elizabeth?” Her pencil stopped, she slowly laid it down on her desk and then turned to me. “We need to talk about the other night,” I said. Liz looked down at her lap but not before I caught the regret in her eyes. I felt hopeful that she would see the error of her ways and this conflict would end quickly. “What you did to Seth was wrong,” I whispered. Liz didn‟t lift up her head, but she slowly nodded. “What are you going to do to fix this?” Elizabeth‟s head lifted and her eyes met mine. I was startled to see the defiance I had seen Friday night back in her eyes and any remorse that was there a moment ago was completely gone. “You care more about him then you do about me.” I shook my head at her accusation. “That‟s not true.” I grasped at ways to make her understand that just because she was hurting, she couldn‟t lash out at anyone she wanted to. “Seth and Bella didn‟t deserve your harsh treatment.” Liz glared at me before crossing her arms over her chest and let out a long breath. “Elizabeth, you need to apologize and then-” “I won‟t!” Liz stood up from her chair and stomped her foot in agitation. “Seth brought that gross thing into the house and let it go in my room! You didn‟t make him say he was sorry to me! I don‟t care if he‟s your girlfriend‟s son! I don‟t like him and I won‟t apologize!” My blood was boiling and I had to count to ten before I said something that I couldn‟t take back. It wasn‟t like Seth had done anything that Tony hadn‟t done to her ten times over. She was so damn stubborn sometimes. “If that‟s the way that you want to look at this then you can stay in your room until you are ready to behave more like a lady.” I closed the door quietly behind me and leaned up against the wall in the hallway. I could hear her cry out in frustration and then stomp to her bed, where her muffled screams into a pillow could be heard through the door. I shook my head in irritation and then went back towards my room. What can I do to get her to see that Bella and Seth aren‟t the bad guys? As I entered my room the large, white, bookstore bag caught my attention in the corner. I knelt down and pulled a few books out, stopping at a brightly colored book that I hadn‟t seen before. I thumbed through it and felt the sting in my eyes when I realized what Bella had been hoping to do with the books. They had been a peace offering to Liz. Bella was reaching out in hopes that Elizabeth would tear down some of the walls that she had built up. I closed my eyes and groaned, remembering how Liz had completely ignored Bella‟s prodding at dinner. I pulled my cell phone from my pocket and dialed her number. After two rings, it went to the answering machine and I considered for a moment hanging up and going over there. “Bella, it‟s Edward,” I paused for a moment as I considered what to say. “I haven‟t talked to you this weekend so I was hoping that everything was okay.” My mind jumbled with a million things I wanted to say. “Listen, I‟m-” I‟m what? Sorry that my daughter hates you? I let out a long sigh. “I miss you, please call me.” I hung up the phone and worried that her absence from answering the phone was avoidance. She had planned to spend today with me but that was before the incident the other night. Maybe you‟re just worrying over nothing, Edward. Maybe she and Seth decided to do something together, instead of sitting around, waiting for my call. I groaned inwardly and raked my hands through my hair. I looked back down at the bag and made a split decision

that Liz needed to understand what Bella had done for her. Grabbing the bag, I went to her room and opened the door quickly, without knocking. Liz spun around at her desk as I deposited the books on top of whatever she was working on. “You should know that Bella picked these up for you. She did it because she knows you like to read and wants to get to know you. If you would have given her half a chance you would have known that.” I turned and walked quickly out the door, closing it harder than I should have. I was tired of tip toeing around Liz. I went down to my office and plunked down heavily in the leather chair, staring at the phone. I had procrastinated enough so I picked up the phone and dialed the number that had been burning a hole in my pocket for weeks. “Hello?” A tiny voice whispered from the other end of the line. “Hello this is Dr. Cullen, may I speak to your daddy, please?” I heard her put the phone down and run across the room calling for her father. I fought off the urge to hang up. I had put this off for so long, thinking that we could deal with this as a family. However, I had realized over the last few weeks that Liz needed more help then what I was qualified to deal with. “Edward!” A deep voice echoed through the phone. I smiled at the enthusiastic greeting from the friend that I hadn‟t spoken to for the last couple of years. “Hello Felix. How have you been?” “I‟m doing fantastic! Gianna and I just had number three, a boy.” “Congratulations,” I chuckled as he gave me the details on their new addition. “What can I do for you, Edward?” Felix‟s voice went into the professional mode that gave me a sense of familiarity. “Well, it‟s been three years since Tanya passed away, and I think I need help with Elizabeth.” “I see,” he was silent for a moment before he sighed. “Edward, I can recommend several counselors, but this is a group effort.” I nodded my head, knowing that we were going to have to do some sort of family therapy. “I figured that we could start with someone in child psychology and grief counseling and then maybe some joint sessions,” I ventured, hoping that this is what he meant by a group effort. “You are going too, Edward.” “I‟m fine,” I declined. “I just need to help Liz.” “If you want Elizabeth to be seen by anyone in my practice, then you are going to attend as well,” his voice held a firm note of determination. “We‟ve discussed this in the past, Edward.” I chuckled lightly, feeling his concern for me and my family. “If that‟s what you think is needed, I will do as you suggest,” I agreed, trying to hide the little bit of reluctance and shame I felt. “Fantastic!” I could almost see him slapping his desk in triumph. Felix had been nagging me since the day that we laid Tanya in the ground to come in for grief counseling, but I had adamantly opposed it, because it was just too painful to uncover those wounds.

His friendship ran deep and I felt a pang of regret that we had fallen out of contact. It was almost impossible to continue the same friendships that I had when Tanya was alive. Every time I saw Gianna, I would remember her and Tanya chatting in the kitchen and exchanging the dirt on being a doctor‟s wife. Felix had also been at the hospital, visiting a patient, when I collapsed in a panic attack the night of the accident. He had seen me at my worst and if I was being honest with myself, it was too painful of a memory to relive every time I saw him. Felix made a note to set up an appointment for Elizabeth and myself on Monday with one of his colleagues and then we ended our conversation with a promise to get together for dinner sometime. I felt a small weight being lifted from my shoulders at the prospect of things getting better. “Daddy?” Elizabeth poked her head into my office and gave me a small smile. I waved her in and she timidly came around the side of the desk and climbed up in my lap, the bright colored book that Bella had bought in her hand. My hands ran through her soft hair as she snuggled under my chin. “I‟m sorry,” she whispered. I could hear the tears in her voice, which tugged at my heartstrings. I bent down and kissed the top of her hair. “It‟s not me you need to be apologizing to,” she nodded her head and then brought her tear stained face up to look at me. “Can we not talk about Bella or Seth?” she pleaded. I wondered briefly if she was avoiding the subject but then I realized that this was probably as close to an admission of wrong-doing as I was going to get. “What do you have there?” I asked. She shrugged and handed me the book. “Can you read it to me?” It had been a long time since she had asked me to read her a book. I knew that I should still be reading to her every night but she insisted that she wanted to read books that I wouldn‟t be interested in. I took the book out of her hand and opened it up. We spent the next half hour reading about a little boy that lost his mom. I could feel Elizabeth‟s little body shaking with sobs when I reached the final page. I pulled her closer to me, dropping the book on my desk. “Sweetheart, what‟s wrong?” I asked as she continued to cry. It took her a few minutes to compose herself enough so that she could talk to me. “I miss mom.” Those three little words were so simple but held such power in their admission. “Do you think that she really lives in heaven?” I realized at that moment that I had never really sat down and talked to Liz about where her mother was now. Did I even know? I was dedicated to science and the facts that are associated with it. Could I talk to my daughter about a heaven that I didn‟t know existed? That required a bit of faith that I didn‟t think resided in me anymore. Maybe before Tanya‟s death I could have entertained the idea of a God, but now? How could a God allow awful things to happen, like Elizabeth growing up without her mother? However, to have the thought that Tanya no longer existed didn‟t sit well with me either. So I answered her in the only way that I knew how. “I‟d like to think that there is a beautiful place, like in the book, where your mother still does all of the things that she enjoyed here.” Liz sniffed loudly before she wiped her nose on my chest. I smiled to myself and shook my head.

“Did you know that your mother loved to garden?” I asked, as Liz looked up at me and shook her head. I nodded, showing her that indeed she had. “You know where the hot tub is now?” Liz nodded. “Well before we put the hot tub in, there was a small patch where your mother grew the most beautiful pansies.” Liz and I spent the next hour talking about Tanya. Everything from her likes and dislikes to her favorite color and dessert. Elizabeth soaked up everything that I told her. The sad glint in her eye that was there when she came in was now replaced with a happy twinkle. Why hadn‟t we sat down like this before? We never talked about Bella and Seth or if she was going to apologize. I knew eventually we would have to face it. But for now, she was just my little girl and I was her dad. And, for now, that was enough. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO My fears of Bella avoiding me were laid to rest, for the moment, when she came down with a mild case of the flu. I spent two nights with her wrapped in my arms and pushed down the nagging feeling that our time was limited. It wasn‟t until she was back to normal that I thought I saw in her eyes the turmoil that I had been dreading. Alice had assured me that Bella was looking forward to our evening together and that I worried too much, but there was definitely something off in Bella‟s behavior. She had practically pushed me out the door on the two occasions that I had stopped in to check on Seth. Her excuses left me feeling like they were a cover for something that she was hiding. We didn‟t spend more than fifteen minutes together after Seth got sick, so by the time Friday afternoon rolled around, I was almost out of my mind with worry over what was bothering her. Bella dropped Seth off with Alice while I had been out picking up her gift. I hoped the gift would show her how much I cared about her and the time that we had spent together. I had a nice evening planned out where we would go to dinner on Cannery Row and if she was up to it, hit a piano bar that played a nice selection of jazz music on the weekends. I pulled into Bella‟s driveway and immediately felt nervous. I chided myself for over thinking things before I got out of the car and made my way to her door with her wrapped gift in my hands. She answered, looking stunning in a little black dress that hugged her body and left her shoulders bare except for thin, little straps. With a shy smile, she invited me in and I bent down and kissed her lips softly. I felt the earlier anxiety evaporate as she took my hand and led me to the couch. “So what‟s the plan for this evening?” Bella asked. She sat down and pulled me down beside her, eyeing the package in my hands. I held it out to her and she gave me a small frown before taking it from me. “What‟s this for?” She was almost glaring at me and I realized that I should have known that she wouldn‟t like gifts. She had given me a hard enough time about paying for our dates. I nudged the box and smiled. “Open it,” I encouraged. She gave me one more glare before untying the bow on the present. When it was off she looked up at me like she wanted to say something, but I just shook my head and nudged the box again. “Please, just open it,” I begged. “Edward, you don‟t have to buy me presents-”

“I know that, but I think that you‟ll like this so hurry up, the suspense is killing me.” I chuckled as she tore into the paper and revealed a brown cardboard box. Carefully she opened the lid and was met by bubble wrap and tissue. She looked up at me for a moment with a shocked expression before shaking her head and then staring back down at her gift. Slowly, she picked up the object hidden in the bubble wrap and started unwrapping it. I looked at her face and watched as a large tear slid down her cheek. A small smile pulled at the corner of my lips as she revealed the glass dolphins that she had shown me in the window on the wharf. I reached over and brushed the tear away, causing her to pull her eyes away from the hand blown glass and look me in the eyes. “I could see how sad you were when you spoke about this sculpture getting broken, but that‟s not the only reason why I got them,” I started as the tears continued to roll down her cheek. I leaned over and kissed them away before sitting back and catching her gaze again. “That evening we saw a pair in the harbor, it was our first unofficial date.” Bella still hadn‟t said anything as the tears continued to come. “Then when we were on the Esme with the kids, they were playing in front of the boat.” I shrugged my shoulders and looked away, nervous from her silence. “I just thought that you would like them,” I ended lamely. I felt her small hand touch my arm so I turned back and looked into her eyes. They reflected such intense emotion that I found myself holding my breath and waiting for her to speak. “Edward, I…” her voice broke and I couldn‟t resist the urge to touch her. I brought my hand up to her face and wiped the tears away. I searched her eyes for something to tell me that she liked my gift. “Thank you,” she finally whispered. I smiled softly; satisfied that she had accepted it. I leaned over and tentatively brushed my lips across hers. She responded with a soft sob, which took me by surprise. I started to pull back but her hands wove into my hair and held me close as she kissed me back fiercely. I felt the box teeter on her lap, and I grabbed it quickly, catching it before it fell. Reaching over, I placed it on the table, never breaking the connection of our lips. I felt another tear slide down her cheek and a warning bell went off inside my head. This was more than the gift. I pulled away, and felt the loss of her lips on mine as I opened my eyes. She quickly turned her head and swiped at the tears, trying to hide the emotions that she was showing. “Bella?” I whispered. I took her chin in my fingers and gently pulled her face to meet mine. “What is it, love?” She shook her head and tried to pull away, but I held her chin firmly. “Talk to me, please.” “Can we stay in tonight?” Her eyes opened and I would have given her anything she asked for just to erase the look in her eyes. “I just want to be with you. No distractions.” I nodded slowly, as I stood and scooped her up into my arms, carrying her towards her room. Whatever she needs is hers. Bella Swan-Black I was grateful that he didn‟t ask any more questions but instead, picked me up and walked towards my room. I buried my face in his chest and inhaled the musky scent of his cologne, trying to memorize everything about him. He pushed open my bedroom door, flipped on the light and looked down into my face. He loosened his grip on me and I slid down the front of him until my feet met the floor. We stood, staring at one another for a moment before his hand gently wrapped around my neck and his thumb glided over my cheek bone. I felt another tear slip out of the corner of my eye as I met his gaze.

“Isabella,” my name was a whisper on his lips and my heart shattered a little more at the longing that I heard in his voice. “Please tell me what you need.” I brought my hand up to his, and closed my eyes before turning my face into his palm and kissing it softly. “Just you,” I whispered, kissing his palm again. I turned my face back to his and there was more in his eyes than lust and desire. Though those were clearly present, there was also adoration and tenderness. Two emotions that were so similar to love that I started to imagine that maybe he loved me. For just one night, our last night, I wanted to feel that he loved me as much as I did him. So I let reality go and latched on to the desire of my heart. “Make love to me, Edward,” I whispered as I stepped closer to him, my chest pressed against his. Love me likemy heart begged. His hand slid behind my head and tangled into my hair. “Anything for you, my beautiful Isabella,” his lips hovered over mine for a moment before he gently took my top lip in between his and kissed softly. I wrapped my arms around his waist and melted into him while his arms slid around my back. Edward continued to lick and nip at my lips while his hands deftly lowered the zipper to my dress. When he had it unzipped, his hands ghosted around my waist and then over my breasts until his fingers had found the straps on my shoulder. In a swift motion, he pushed them off of my shoulders and the dress pooled at my feet, leaving me in only a small pair of panties. His kisses trailed across my jaw and then he buried his face into my neck and took in a long breath. He stopped kissing me for the second it took him to breathe, but then his lips were on my neck causing me to moan. My fingers worked on the buttons to his shirt, while his hands ran up and down my naked back. I pushed his shirt off of him and went for his pants but he grabbed my hands. “This is about you, love,” he whispered against my ear as he brought my hands up to his neck. I wound the soft hair at the nape of his neck around my finger and tugged him closer. “Let me be what you need,” he whispered against my mouth as his words struck the last defense that I had left. Everything that I needed was right here, loving me and it was all going to go away as soon as I let reality back in. The tears welled up in my eyes as his kiss turned passionate and hungry. I pushed down the sorrow and grasped tighter on to the love as I gave him my body and my heart. I treasured every moment of feeling his warm skin under my fingers while he shed his clothes and laid me gently on the bed. My memory took a snap shot of him kissing each hip bone before lowering the last article of clothing between us. I filed away, to recall later, the look in his eyes as he slid into me with tenderness and care. I cherished every endearment he whispered in my ear as he slowly brought my body, over and over again, to release. Only after we were spent and Edward had fallen asleep did I let my fantasy slip back into reality. I silently wept in his arms but at the same time thanked the Fates for one last night.

~*~

Chapter 30 Team Party Edward Cullen

I felt a sudden jerk against my chest which woke me from a dreamless sleep. My eyes squinted as I tried to open them against the blinding light that was filtering through the curtains in Bella‟s small room. My focus landed on the top of Bella‟s brown curls and I smiled. Her hand clutched at the comforter as she jerked again against me. “Bella, honey,” I squeezed her arm gently, trying to rouse her from her vivid dream. She slowly turned her head until I could see her beautiful face. Her eyes opened half way and then she shut them again. “What time is it?” she asked. I looked over at the clock on her dresser and groaned. “It‟s seven fifteen,” I said quietly, stroking her hair. “I need to pick up the boys and head to the field at eight.” Bella looked back at me thoughtfully before she spoke. “I need to take the trophies to your house for the party later this afternoon,” she whispered quietly. I watched as a grief stricken look crossed her face before she composed herself. “Bella, what‟s wrong? I know something is going on and it‟s killing me to see you upset.” I continued to run my fingers through her hair, hoping that she would open up to me. Shaking her head she smiled. However, her smile didn‟t reach her eyes. “We‟ll talk later,” she said, sitting up in bed. “After the party, I promise,” she leaned down and kissed my mouth softly before climbing out of bed. “Do you want to take a shower with me?” There was a twinkle in her eye that brought me out of the direction my thoughts were headed. “Hmmm, let me think?” I closed my eyes and acted like I was torn from the decisions I needed to make. “Do I want to get in the shower with a totally amazing woman or continue to lay here and fantasize about said woman?” I said with a smile as I opened my eyes just in time to see the pillow smack me in the head. Her little giggle trailed after her as she darted for the door. Quicker than I thought was possible; I launched out of the bed and caught her just as she was opening the bathroom door. She squealed in delight as I picked her up around her waist, her bare breasts pressing on the top of my arm. I groaned from the feeling of my hard arousal pressing firmly into her backside. She giggled again and then tried to break free from my grasp. I held her firmly, not wanting to break the connection between us. Finally she let out a long huff and quit moving in my arms. “Edward?” “Hmm?” I asked in a haze, still enjoying the feeling of her pressed to me. “You need to let go if we are going to get ready.” “Nope, I don‟t think I will,” I said as I kissed her back, causing her to moan loudly. “You‟re going to be late for the most anticipated game of the season,” she sang in a sing-song voice. I growled into her back before lightly nipping at her flesh. “You‟re such a tease.” I let go of her and she turned around until her chest was pressed up against mine. When I looked down I saw that flicker in her eyes again, before she reached up and placed her hand on the back of my neck. Tugging hard, she pulled my face down to hers and kissed me with wild abandon. My arms snaked around her waist and I pulled her closer to me, devouring her tongue and wishing that we had more time.

It was my turn to pull away first, but I placed a small kiss on her nose and then nudged her into the bathroom. She started the water and then climbed in. Just as I set my foot into the tub, her phone rang. “Edward, could you get that since I‟m already soaked?” she asked with a sweet smile. I grumbled under my breath about a wet, beautiful woman waiting for me before I nodded and grabbed the towel on the rack. I made my way quickly into the kitchen and grabbed the annoying interruption. “Hello?” “Who‟s this?” a low, yet demanding man's voice growled on the other end of the line. The hostility was slightly shocking and I wasn‟t sure if I should answer him. “Uh…why don‟t you tell me who this is and then I‟ll return the favor.” “This is Jake, Bella‟s husband.” Well isn‟t he a pleasant guy. A bit on the possessive side too, since he no longer had any claim on her. “Ex-husband,” I corrected. I could hear the growl building in his chest and I couldn‟t help but smile smugly to myself. “Who the hell is this?” he barked at me and my smile only widened. “Edward, the boyfriend,” I smiled, knowing that my answer was probably eating at him. “Put Bella on the phone,” he demanded. “She‟s currently in the shower.” I couldn‟t resist sticking the knife in a little further and twisting. “Waiting for me to join her.” “Where the hell is Seth while you‟re fucking my wife?” He was screaming at this point and I was glad that there was almost a thousands miles between us. I don‟t think I could have restrained myself for laying into him over his insinuation that we hadn‟t thought of Seth. “Wow, such the gentleman. No wonder Bella left you,” I seethed. He laughed but the noise sounded anything but humorous before his voice turned cold. “Tell Bella that my flight comes in at noon and that I planned on taking her and Seth to dinner at her favorite restaurant.” What? He was coming into town? Why didn‟t Bella tell me? “Since she was so wonderful to offer her home for me to stay at while I‟m in town,” he emphasized the word offer and my blood started to boil. “I thought that she deserved to be pampered.” My mind raced at his words. Why wouldn‟t she tell me he was coming? Maybe it just slipped her mind. Was this what was bugging her? But she offered him a place to stay? Stop it Edward, she can barely stomach this man. You have nothing to worry about. “Did ya get that, Edward?” he said with a hint of satisfaction in his tone and I wanted to reach through the phone and yank out his tonsils…without anesthesia. “I‟ll tell her,” I said before slamming down the phone. I stood in the kitchen for a few minutes staring out the window and trying to curb some of the anger that was racing through my body. I growled again at the way he implied Bella invited him for something more. I knew that she didn‟t want him, but that lingering doubt and

strong tug of jealousy was very much present when he spoke those words. I felt her soft hands come around my waist and I let out the breath I didn‟t know I had been holding. “Who was on the phone?” she whispered. I felt her soft lips press against my spine and I turned in her arms. “Jake,” I said, watching her face intently. She looked momentarily surprised. “Oh.” “He said that his flight lands at noon and he was taking you and Seth to dinner,” I snapped, not meaning to place blame but still feeling the sting of his words. Bella winced slightly at my words but she surprised me when she didn‟t deny the date. “You need to get ready to go,” she said quietly. I was expecting her to deny, or at least explain the arrangement, but she didn‟t say a word, leaving me to guess what was going on between her and her ex-husband. I nodded curtly and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I let the water run down my back and soothe the green eyed monster that had reared its ugly head. By the time I got out of the shower I was feeling stupid for even entertaining the idea that Bella would consider going back to that idiot. My clothes were neatly folded and sitting on the sink and I instantly felt awful for snapping at Bella. I quickly got dressed and found her in the bedroom making her bed. I strode over to her and pulled her into my arms. “I‟m sorry, I shouldn‟t have snapped at you,” I whispered against her hair. “He just started pushing my buttons and I let him get to me.” I pulled back and kissed her forehead softly. “Forgive me, please.” Bella looked up at me and a small tear escaped her beautiful brown eyes. I wiped it away, feeling like even more of a jerk. She nodded her head and then buried her face in my chest as she continued to cry. I wasn‟t sure if the tears were from my stupid jealousy or whatever she was not telling me. “Bella, love,” I tilted her head back until she was looking at me. “I don‟t want to see you cry, please.” She smiled sadly at me, while I leaned down and kissed her lips gently. “We‟ll talk after the party.” This was the second time that she brought up talking after the party and I felt that nagging feeling that this talk would be a defining moment in our relationship. I nodded and kissed her once more before grabbing my keys and phone and walked out to my car. Bella stood on the porch and gave me a small wave as I pulled out of her driveway. After the party, we were going to be fine. She‟d tell me what had been bothering her and I'd fix it. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Bella Swan-Black I collapsed on my bed as the tears came hot and fast after I watched Edward pull out of my driveway. I indulged in one last cry before I knew I had to pull it together and get on with the day. I still had no idea what I was going to tell Edward. I didn‟t want to out right tell him that he needed to focus on Elizabeth and that I was too much of a distraction for him to do it properly. Edward and Elizabeth‟s relationship was strained enough without the possibility of him harboring any resentment towards her for the break up between us. But then again, this was an opportunity that I don‟t know if I could pass up to open his eyes that she

needed more help than he could give her. Even with therapy, it would take awhile to tear down and retrain the way Liz has learned to cope with the death of her mother. I don‟t think that it was a good idea to have me around while she was trying to heal. I was a constant reminder that her father was moving on and to her childlike mind, forgetting her mother. I considered not even telling him why I was cutting the ties but knew that there was no way that he would let me go without an explanation. The only thing that continually popped in my head was the age old excuse, „It‟s me, not you‟. I buried my face in the pillow that Edward had slept on and inhaled the smell that was distinctly him. The tears flowed freely as I pulled myself off of the bed and went to the mirror. My eyes were red and slightly swollen but there wasn‟t much I could do about it. I went into the bathroom and washed my face of the tears that stained my cheeks. After a pep talk in the mirror, that what I was planning was the best thing all around, I finished getting ready to go. I had a little under an hour before the game started when I arrived at Edward‟s house with the trophies. Alice was bustling around the house giving orders to a frazzled looking Jasper when I came in. “Bella, I‟m so glad you‟re here,” she said in an aggravated voice. “I was telling Jasper that we need the barbecue down on the beach so that we can keep the mess down there. What do you think?” I suddenly felt like I was the deciding vote in an argument and it felt a bit awkward. Jasper looked at me and gave me a knowing smile but didn‟t say anything. “Um…how are you going to get it down there?” I asked. I remembered that the industrial barbecue from Opening Day was on a trailer that a vehicle had to pull because it was so huge. There was no way that it could get down on the beach from here unless there were ten men carrying it down. Jasper‟s smile widened and he looked at Alice. She huffed at him and shook her head. “Fine!” Alice spat. Jasper turned back around and winked at me before he went out the back door. I guess I solved that argument. “Alright,” Alice went into party planning mode and I knew that I needed to pay attention or she was going to leave me in the dust. “All of the food is prepped. All we need to do is start the barbecue and bring everything out. I have a table set up already for the trophies and there are plenty of chairs and blankets that we can set up down on the beach when we get back,” she turned to look at me. “Then we have to make sure that the balloons are out on the street and don‟t let me forget to get the watermelon out of the ice chest and why have you been crying?” She gasped the last part out and I‟m sure my look turned to one of panic. Alice walked up to me and studied my face for a moment before making up her mind that I had definitely been crying. “Bella, what happened? Did my idiot brother do something to-,” I cut her off mid sentence, not wanting her to think Edward did anything. “I haven‟t been crying,” I lied through my teeth, hoping that she wouldn‟t push the subject. Alice stared at me for a moment as if she wanted to argue with me but then decided against it. Instead she wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me with a grip that was surprisingly strong for someone so small. I felt the prickling in the back of my eyes and pushed down the tears that were threatening to spill. I wondered briefly if Alice would still be around after I broke things off with Edward.

Alice pulled away and looked up at me. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears and my heart clenched at the possibility of losing her as a friend. “Bella, I want you to know that I‟m here for you. No matter what,” she said with conviction and I felt like she knew what was coming. I could only nod as she smiled up at me sadly before turning and taking a look around. “I think everything is ready. Are you ready?” “Yeah,” I whispered as we headed out the door. We arrived at the ballpark a few minutes before the game started so I found a spot on the bleachers next to Liz. She actually smiled at me when I greeted her, but I decided that it would be best to leave it at that. There was no use in trying to get close to her and possibly cause more drama. I just needed to get through this day and then Edward and I could have our talk, which I still didn‟t know how I was going to approach. My mind started to drift into the depths of despair when Alice and Jasper showed up along with Rosalie and three of the prettiest girls I had ever seen. Liz jumped down and ran over to them as Rosalie came over and gave me a hug. “Those are your girls?” I asked, nodding towards the three girls. They were all little miniature Rosalies with bright blond hair and were impeccably dressed. “Yep, the oldest is Lillian,” she pointed out the tall blond that looked like she was a teenager. Elizabeth was smiling up at her with worshipful eyes and I smiled. “She‟s twelve and already driving me crazy with hormonal meltdowns. I don‟t even want to think how bad it‟s going to be in another year or so,” she sighed and shook her head. “Then there is Daisy,” she pointed towards the one that went over to Emmett and jumped in his arms. “She‟s the complete opposite of Lily. She‟s even tempered and a total daddy‟s girl.” I watched as Daisy pulled away from Emmett and practically tackled Edward, causing him to laugh and pick her up over his head. I couldn‟t suppress the smile when I watched him bring her down and plant a big sloppy kiss on her cheek. “How old is she?” I asked. My eyes were glued on Edward while I asked the question. “Daisy is eleven months younger than Lily.” There was a weariness in her voice and I thought about having a brand new baby and a one year old. I looked back at Rose with a newfound respect. She smiled sideways at me and shrugged like it was no big deal. I had one child and felt like my world had been turned upside down and here she had two that were practically twins. “Then my baby is Violet.” I glanced over at the little girl that had her arm threaded through Elizabeth‟s. They were chatting away as if they were best friends. I watched as Liz laughed and the smile that was fixed on her face was breathtaking. It saddened me to watch. All I had really been exposed to was the unhappy side of her. “Violet and Elizabeth are only three weeks apart and were two peas in a pod until Tanya died. Liz grew up too fast.” Rosalie told me how Elizabeth was a carefree and happy child but that she changed drastically in the first year after Tanya‟s death. “It didn‟t help that I couldn‟t be around her without remembering her mother.” There was remorse in Rosalie‟s eyes and I thought about how, Liz not only lost her mother, but when she needed them most, the adults in her life pulled away from her too. I couldn‟t fault Rosalie or Edward in the way they handled things. I had never lost anyone so close to me so I don‟t know how I would have reacted, either. It suddenly dawned on me how much

Liz had lost and her irrational fear of being abandoned didn't seem so irrational anymore. They may have been there physically for her, but emotionally, they were absent. Alice was the one constant in her life, but now Alice was marrying Jasper and leaving her. Her only security blanket was now “abandoning” her too. At least that was probably what it felt like to her. My resolve was set; this little girl needed her daddy full time and any doubts I may have had before about what I had to do were completely erased. I glanced over at Edward and his gaze was locked on me. When I caught his eye, he smiled at me before turning to talk to Anthony, who was warming up his arm. The game started and it turned out to be an exciting one. All three boys pitched beautifully and I found that my nerves weren‟t as bad as the first few times that Seth had pitched. The score was tied when they went into the bottom of the last inning. All they needed was to score one run and it would be over. If not, then they would go into extra innings. Anthony got up to bat and hit a fly ball into left field which was caught easily, causing him to be out. Next up to bat was James who hit a grounder that went right through the third baseman‟s glove. By the time the outfielders got to the ball, James was already on second. Seth was up to bat and I immediately felt the nerves that weren‟t there before. He was thrown two strikes and I was on my feet, hoping that he didn‟t end the season with a strike out. Even though he had done so well in the season I knew that the last play he made would stick with him a lot longer. I blew out a relieved breath when the umpire called a ball that looked awfully close to a strike. The catcher missed the ball and James took off to third base, barely making it there before the ball did. I could hear Edward and the team cheering Seth on from the dugout. “That‟s it, Storm! Hit it out of the park!” Emmett‟s voice boomed over everyone else‟s. The ball was pitched and I closed my eyes just before I heard a loud crack. My eyes snapped open and the ball zoomed in between first and second base. The ball bounced once before the right fielder plucked it up and threw it to first. It was going to be close. Seth stepped on the base a split second after the first baseman caught the ball and the umpire called him out. I felt my heart drop to my toes that he didn‟t make it. All of a sudden, there was a loud roar from the crowd and all of the boys from our team ran onto the field and were jumping up and down. Edward had a huge smile on his face and I was completely confused. I looked over at Seth and he was racing back, the biggest smile I had ever seen as he ran over and jumped on top of Tony, sending both boys to the ground. I looked over at Alice and Rose and Alice smiled widely at me. “They won!” she said with a little squeal. I gave her a raised eyebrow and shook my head in confusion. “Seth batted James in from third base,” Alice explained. “But he got out.” “That only matters if it was the third out. Seth sacrificed himself and took one for the team so they could win.” That I understood. It was ironic that I was feeling exactly the same with the Liz situation; I was taking one for the team. The difference was that it was the last game and there was no guarantee that I‟d ever play on the team again. Edward sent the team home and reminded them that the party was in an hour at his house. He jogged over to me with a breathtaking smile and wrapped his arms around me. In an uncharacteristic whoop of joy he swung me around, causing me to laugh at his jubilance. He set me down and kissed me hard. Pulling away, he smiled down

at me. “The season is over. Are you excited that Mama Bear can now go into hibernation?” he asked with a huge grin. I laughed and for the first time today it felt good. “Oh, I don‟t know. I‟m sure I‟ll find a reason to break her out of her cave and let her loose on the unsuspecting masses.” He threw back his head and laughed while I mentally took another picture of him to store away for later. The boys packed up the gear and we were soon on our way back to his house. When we arrived, Jasper was grabbing something out of his car and had a disheveled look. “Prepare yourself,” he snickered as I climbed out of my car. “Alice is pretty demanding when it comes to a planning and executing a party.” Executing? Why did I suddenly feel like I was going to the gallows? Jasper laughed at the look on my face and then shook his head. “Don‟t worry, she‟ll behave,” he said. Edward was standing on the stairs leading up to the house, waiting for me. I heard the shutter to the camera in my mind take another picture of him standing in his baseball shirt, the breeze making his hair a wild disarray. He held out his hand to me when I reached the stairs and I quickly ran up them and took it. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze and then pulled me into the house. With Alice‟s organization skills, everything was set up by the time the first guests arrived. Edward spent most of his time greeting the boys and talking about the season with the parents while I stayed busy in the kitchen, helping Alice keep all of the food stocked. Rose, Emmett and their girls showed up sometime after things started and she gave us a hand. I ventured out amongst the parents but after a run in with Lauren and Mike I decided that I would either stay in the kitchen or be within hearing distance of Edward. I had too much on my mind to deal with the snarky comments or the blatant sexual innuendos. I tried to keep busy, keeping my mind on enjoying Alice and Rose while I had the chance. A couple of hours later I could feel the party winding down. Edward called everyone down to the beach where Alice had set up a table with all of the trophies. There were chairs and blankets laid out in front of the table. Edward and Emmett called the boys up one by one and talked about how they had improved over the months of practice. With every child, Edward pointed out an amazing play that they had made during the season. I was impressed that he could remember each one, and his inspiring comments made them beam with pride. Edward wrapped up his end of the season speech and then thanked everyone for coming, signaling the end of the party. My stomach was in knots as Alice, Rose and I cleaned up the mess while Edward and Emmett said goodbye to their team. After the kitchen was back in order, Edward walked in and smiled at me. “Alice, if you don‟t mind watching the kids for a little while, Bella and I are going to take a walk.” Alice waved us out and I quickly said goodbye to Emmett and Rosalie before Edward pulled me through the gate to the beach. It was early evening and the breeze off of the ocean was warm and refreshing. Edward laced his fingers with mine and then brought them up to his lips where he kissed them gently. When we had walked quite a ways down the beach we sat in the sand and looked out over the ocean. Neither one of us said anything for a long time. I tried to enjoy every moment with him but the impending pain was creeping into my every thought.

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Edward asked softly. I knew that the time for procrastination was over. I continued to look out at the waves breaking against the sand, knowing that if I looked at him I wouldn‟t be able to stop the tears. “I think we need a break,” I whispered. I didn‟t know how to do this and it seemed that throwing it out there was the only way. “What?” Edward asked. I could hear the shock in his voice and I bit my lip, trying not to look at him. “Is this about Elizabeth?” I didn‟t answer him. I knew at that moment that I couldn‟t lie and tell him it wasn‟t, so I decided not to say anything. “I‟m getting her help,” he said quietly. My head whipped around and what I saw broke my heart. His legs were pulled up and spread apart while his arms rested on his knees. Edward‟s head hung down in what looked like defeat. I wanted to run my hands through his hair and tell him that I was sorry. I wanted to tell him that I loved him and that breaking things off with him was like cutting my own heart out. “You mean like therapy?” I asked instead. He nodded his head. “Yeah, I should have done it a long time ago and then maybe we wouldn‟t have had all the problems we‟ve been having with her,” his voice cracked and I felt my heart ripping a little more. It only took me a moment to think about what Liz getting help would mean. The main obstacle that I faced in getting Edward to get her help was already out of the way. But that didn‟t change that he didn‟t need me as a distraction while he worked to heal his daughter and their relationship. “I‟m sure that everything will work out between you and Liz,” I said. He looked up at me and I saw the anguish in his eyes. “Bella, don‟t do this. We can work through this,” he said urgently. Before I could protest, he pulled me into his arms and I couldn‟t help the tears that flowed freely down my cheeks as he held me. “Don‟t leave, Bella,” he begged. My determination almost wavered at his simple plea. “Edward, you need to focus on Elizabeth,” I whispered against his chest. “I will do that, but I need you with me too.” I could hear the tears in his voice and I muffled a sob in his shirt as his arms tightened around me. I shook my head and then pulled away. He tried to hold me closer but when he saw that I was determined, he let me go. I sat in the sand in front of him and continued to shake my head. “My presence is making things worse for her and you know it,” I chastised, hoping to shake him up enough that he would look at this rationally. When he didn‟t say anything, I knew that he was contemplating my words. “She needs to get over her fears without the threat of someone taking her father away from her.” Edward‟s head drooped a little further down and I knew that he was starting to see the wisdom in my words. “What about later?” he asked. “What do you mean?” “Maybe in a few months when she is doing better-?” I cut him off not wanting to drag this out any longer than it had to be.

“You can‟t guarantee that this will only take a few months, and she may never accept me.” I had already been in one marriage where I waited for things to work themselves out and they never did. I couldn‟t leave myself open to more heartache. A clean break was what we needed to do. I felt my shoulders involuntary shake at what I needed to say. I swiped at my tears and looked into his eyes. A single tear slid down his nose but he didn‟t say anything or break eye contact. “You‟re unavailable and I need to move on,” I whispered. I didn‟t think I would ever move on but there was nothing else I could say that would convince him quicker than me looking out for my own needs. Edward stared at me for several minutes until he finally let out a long sigh and then motioned for me to come over to him. I wanted so badly for him to hold me one last time that I complied with his request. I crawled in between his legs and he pulled me to him, wrapping his arms around mine. My shoulder and cheek pressed into his chest as he stroked my hair lightly. “I don‟t know if I can stay away,” he whispered into my hair. I stifled the sob that threatened to escape and hugged him tightly to me. He held me until the sun started to dip below the horizon. We slowly made our way back to his house, neither one of us wanting to let our time end because we knew that it would be the last time that we would spend together alone. We discussed what we were going to tell the children so we didn‟t cause them anymore pain than necessary. Edward also insisted that Seth would continue to come home with them until the end of the school year, so I didn‟t need to find him an after school program for the remaining two weeks of school. When we reached the house, he stopped me before we made it up to the gate. With a gentle hand, he brushed my hair away from my shoulder and then slid his fingers behind my neck. He slowly pulled me towards him. His head leaned towards me and I brought my face up to meet his. He paused inches away from my lips as if he was asking for permission. I brought my hands up into his hair and pulled him the rest of the way. His lips were gentle against mine as he kissed my top lip and then the bottom. I felt the tears begin to flow again as he gave me a final kiss and then pulled away. He wiped the tears from my cheek and smiled sadly at me. “You are an amazing woman, Isabella.” I buried my face in his shirt and clung to him one last time before turning and walking through the gate to get Seth. As I pulled out of the driveway, I could see him standing on the porch in my rearview mirror. My heart screamed at me to turn around, but I couldn‟t. I would have never been able to live with myself if I drove a wedge between Edward and his daughter and eventually he would have realized that she comes first. That didn‟t stop my heart from breaking as I drove away. I love you, Edward. I probably always will.

~*~

Chapter 31 Denial Edward Cullen I stood on the porch and watched Bella drive away. It was probably the hardest thing I had ever done aside from laying my wife in the cold, hard ground. I took in a long breath of salty, ocean air and then went back into the

house. Elizabeth and Anthony were watching a movie in the living room while Alice was still straightening up from the party. I felt a small twinge of guilt for leaving her with the mess and went to see if I could help. “What do you need me to do?” I asked as she put the last bowl into the dishwasher. “The tables need to be folded up and put back in the garage, but that can wait,” she said. She moved closer to me and her stare was starting to make me feel uncomfortable. “What happened?” I should have known that Alice would pick up on my distress. I contemplated not telling her anything but at that moment I really wanted someone to talk to. Letting out a long breath I leaned up against the counter. “Bella left,” I stated simply. Alice looked at my sideways and then quirked her brow in confusion. “She‟ll be back later, right?” “No, she‟s not coming back.” I felt the knife twist deeper into my heart. “We broke up.” “Why?” Alice looked completely shocked as I shrugged my shoulders. “She thinks I need to focus on Liz,” I whispered. “But you are. Didn‟t you tell Bella that she had an appointment with the counselor?” “Yeah,” “Then why the hell did you let her walk out the door?” Alice threw up her hands and shot a glare at me. “She just confirmed what I had been thinking since Liz‟s nightmares came back.” “Edward,” she said in her exasperated tone, like she was talking to a child that had just disobeyed her. “This is ridiculous. You can‟t let Elizabeth rule your life. She will eventually come around. She wants you to be happy but she‟s conflicted with her loyalty to her mother. Eventually, those walls will come down and you cannot let the best thing that‟s happened in your life walk out.” Her hands were on her hips and she was staring at me expectantly. “She‟s gone, Alice.” “No she‟s not! You will get your ass in your car and drive over there and tell her you can‟t live without her. I will not have the despondent brother I had three years ago again!” She was yelling at me now and I stood there, slightly shocked, and took all of her anger. A tear slipped down her cheek and I felt the pain that I had inflicted on her over the last few years. I reached for her, but she pushed me away. “I can‟t do it again, Edward,” she said quietly. I had taken so much from Alice. She was always there for me when I needed her. I took without any thought to what her putting her life on hold for my family was doing to her. I always worried that she would regret her decision to move in and help me with Liz and Tony and here it was. “I‟m sorry, Alice,” I whispered. “I know that I‟ve dumped all of my problems at your feet and-” I could see the anger flash in her eyes as she stalked up to me, poking her little finger into my chest, cutting off my apology. “Don‟t you dare apologize to me!” she seethed. “I would not change any of my decisions. I love you and your

kids. I just will not sit by and watch you turn into the hollow, shell of a man you were before. You‟ve already lost one love of your life; don‟t let Bella be the second.” I felt like she had slapped me in my face with her words. Love? I couldn‟t think about it. What good would it do anyway? Bella was gone so I dismissed Alice‟s assumption and tried to focus on reassuring her that I wouldn‟t turn back into the depressed mess I was three years ago. “I realize that I haven‟t been here completely for my kids because of my past mistakes, I‟m not going to go to that dark hole of a life I was in before. Liz needs me now and I‟m not checking out on her again.” I couldn‟t let Bella leaving be for nothing. I would focus on Liz and get her back on track. “What about Bella? What about you? How can you give anything to Liz when you‟re hurting over Bella?” “I don‟t know, but I don‟t have a choice. If I would‟ve gotten her into counseling when everyone was pushing for it maybe things wouldn‟t have gotten so bad.” I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes as I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Why in the hell couldn‟t I just have seen it earlier? I thought we could get through it together, that she didn‟t need any outside help and look at how I‟ve screwed everything up.” “Edward, its okay to ask for help sometimes,” Alice soothed as she wrapped her arms around my waist. She rested her chin on my chest and looked up at me. “What are you going to do about Bella?” I opened my eyes and looked down at her before hugging her closer to me. “Nothing,” I said as I looked away, knowing that she wouldn‟t like that answer. She pinched my sides and I yelped before pushing her away. “Nothing, is not an option,” she growled at me. “If I have to step in, I will.” “Alice, leave it alone,” I warned. “Bella needs to move on. She‟s got enough garbage to deal with when it comes to her ex-husband. She doesn‟t need someone in her life that has so much drama.” “I won‟t leave it alone, big brother,” Alice promised. “You and Bella are meant to be together. Fate stepped in and brought her into your life and you may be able to walk away from fate but eventually it comes back around and bites you in the ass.” I chose to ignore her comment and then excused myself to put away the tables. Afterwards, I hid out in my office, busying myself with work until the kids went to bed. Walking into the kitchen, I pulled out the Jack and a glass and headed to my room. Nothing was going to ease the pain that I was feeling in my chest but I figured that drowning it in a little liquid pain relief was the best I was going to get. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO I allowed myself the one evening to drink myself into a slumber but when I woke up with a splitting headache, I decided that I wouldn‟t be doing it again. I had learned a long time ago that alcohol only made my problems worse. Instead, I grasped at the only coping mechanism that I had and refused to think about Bella. I threw myself into my work and spent every waking hour with Elizabeth and Anthony. The week dragged on until we had our first appointment with the counselor. I picked Elizabeth and Tony up at school and drove into Monterey. Alice had agreed to meet me at the office and take Tony out for some fun while Liz and I were in our session. Tony was thrilled when Alice explained that she was taking him to Dennis the Menace park and then to grab a bite to eat at McDonalds. I cringed internally, glad that Carmel was devoid of fast food restaurants and that Alice was the one to sacrifice for Tony‟s benefit and not

me. “Dr. Cullen?” an attractive brunette woman asked as she walked into the lobby. I stood up quickly and motioned for Liz to follow me. Elizabeth didn‟t protest when I told her we were going to go to counseling but she seemed a little anxious at the idea. I explained to her that it would be a place she could talk about whatever she wanted and that seemed to ease most of the fears she was having. I introduced myself and the counselor immediately turned to Elizabeth. Her smile widened and she looked genuinely interested in Elizabeth. “You must be Elizabeth,” she said with a smile and held out her hand. Elizabeth tentatively took her hand and the woman shook it firmly. “I‟m Heidi, and I can‟t wait to get to know you a little more.” Elizabeth smiled shyly at the woman and then took my hand as we were lead down a long hallway to an office. Heidi motioned for us to take a seat on a leather couch while she sat down in an adjacent chair. I took a moment to look around the room and saw a small toy box sitting in a corner that was overflowing with different stuffed animals and toys. On the book shelves were several children‟s books along with physicians desk references and several parenting books. On the bottom two shelves there were several board games and what looked like flash cards. The room was decorated in a soft, lavender with a teddy bear border around the edge that was definitely geared towards children. “So, why don‟t you tell me a little about yourselves,” Heidi said. When both Elizabeth and I didn‟t start she smiled and looked at Elizabeth. “Do you like to go by Elizabeth or is there a nickname you like to be called?” Liz shrugged lightly. “Elizabeth is okay but I go by Liz and Lizzy too,” Liz said. She seemed to relax a little and become more animated as Heidi asked her questions about her likes and dislikes. Finally she turned her attention to me. “Dr. Cullen, tell me about you,” she asked. I felt immediately uncomfortable but knew that the preliminary round was unavoidable. I let out a long sigh before opening my mouth. “Please call me Edward,” I told her. Heidi asked a few questions about what I specialized in and our family life. She asked specific questions about my siblings and our relationship with them before asking the questions about Tanya that I dreaded. “Are you married?” That was a loaded question. Usually I would say no but with Liz sitting next to me I worried that that answer would upset her. I hesitated too long and she quirked a brow at me. “My wife died three years ago in an automobile accident,” I said quietly, peeking at Elizabeth. She sat stiffly in her chair looking at her lap and playing with her fingers. I looked back at Heidi and she nodded her head in understanding. “Alright. Well the way things are going to go is, Liz and I are going to hang out and chat for about an hour every week. I think Dr. Romano set up an appointment for you with Alec while we are visiting. Once a month you and I will meet separately so I can get to know you better.” I nodded my head in understanding that the once a month meeting was when we would sit down and talk about how I could help Liz. “Elizabeth, I want you to know that what ever we talk about in here is between the two of us, okay?” Elizabeth

looked up at her and nodded before looking back down at her lap. Heidi smiled and then directed her attention towards me. “Alec is waiting for you in his office,” Heidi stood up and I reached for Elizabeth‟s hand. Her blue eyes looked into mine and I was reassured that what I was doing was for her. I kissed her cheek and whispered that I was just down the hall and that I loved her before standing up and was ushered out the door. Alec‟s door was slightly ajar so I pushed it open and poked my head inside. An average sized man with blond hair and an abundant amount of freckles looked up from the file he was reading on his desk. “Dr. Cullen?” he asked as I nodded and stepped inside the room. He motioned me to close the door and come in before standing up to shake my hand. “It‟s nice to meet you. Felix has had nothing but great things to say about you,” he greeted. With the pleasantries over he asked the same questions that Heidi had asked earlier. “What brings you to therapy?” Alec asked when he had all of the information about my family, hobbies and work. “My daughter is having a difficult time adjusting to my wife‟s death.” I figured that it would be best to get to the point so that we could discuss ways I could help Liz. “How long has it been?” “Almost three and a half years,” I said as I looked at my lap. I did not want to get into the details about Tanya‟s death but the general information was unavoidable. “Tell me about her?” he asked. “What do you want to know?” I looked up and sighed. I had enough psych classes in college to know that his probing was a way to get me to open up but I just wanted to get help for Liz. I didn‟t need to talk to anyone about how I was feeling. “Well let‟s start with what she was like,” Alec began. “Um…she was a great mother and very passionate about art and volunteer work,” I offered. He gave me a speculative look and I sat back in my chair, feeling like I was under a microscope but not willing to elaborate anymore. What else did he need to know? We had a good marriage and she was an excellent mother. “How long were you married?” he prodded further. I let out another long breath, feeling the impatience grow. “We were married for eight years when she died.” “How was your relationship with her?” I held back the urge to roll my eyes. “We had a good marriage.” “Is that it? Is there anything else you would like to add?” I sighed in exasperation before shrugging my shoulders. “What else do you want to know?” I asked. “I know that this can be hard to talk about,” he offered, but I just shook my head, dismissing his concern. “How

did she die?” “She was in a car accident,” I whispered quietly. “Can you elaborate?” Why would he want the gory details? “I don‟t see why it‟s relevant.” We sat in silence for several moments, leaving me to think about my refusal to answer his question. “Why it‟s relevant?” Alec looked at me with a confused expression before his face turned into a cool mask. I didn‟t immediately answer. I felt the sudden urge to stand up and walk out. “Does it make you uncomfortable to be here?” He saw right through me. I tented my fingers together and brought them up to my mouth as I thought about how I was going to answer his question. There was another long pause as I contemplated my answer. “This isn‟t a trick question, Edward,” he smiled encouragingly. “I‟m not here to judge, but to help.” “Yes, it makes me very uncomfortable. Honestly, I‟m just here to support Elizabeth but Felix said that I needed to see you too,” I confessed, hoping that my admission would push him to get to what I really needed help with. “So you don‟t think you need to be here?” “Not really. I‟ve learned to deal with my own issues,” he sat back in his chair and a frown creased his brow. “Can you give me an example of how you've dealt with Tanya‟s death?” Alec asked. “I don‟t know. I just did.” I threw up my hands and slapped them back down on the arm of the chair. “I have two kids that needed me so I figured it out.” “How‟s that working for you?” “Fine,” I answered through gritted teeth. He opened his mouth and then snapped it shut. I could tell that he wanted to say something but was debating on how to phrase whatever he wanted to say. I sat there and stared back at him with a raised eyebrow, willing him to spit it out. “I‟m going to be perfectly blunt with you, Dr. Cullen.” I was a bit taken back that he had formally addressed me. “Your refusal to talk about your wife tells me a lot about the way that you have learned to cope with your grief. However,-” “Alec, I‟m sorry to stop you there, but I was under the impression that we would discuss ways for me to help my daughter. She‟s having a difficult time and I am here to do what I can to help her get over her grief.” Alec sat back in his chair and nodded his head before he spoke. “You cannot help your daughter deal with her grief when you don‟t know how to productively deal with your own. Children need guidance and first learn by example. When they are getting mixed signals from the adults in their lives, then they will come up with their own ways of coping. Now, if you want to help your daughter, then you need to take a long hard look at the decisions you‟ve made and then be open to suggestions for help. Until you are ready to work on getting better, these sessions won‟t be useful.” He stared back at me and my first thought was to stand up and walk out the door. However, Felix had told me that

if his office was going to see Liz then I needed to come too. For that, I was willing to swallow my pride and remain in my seat. We sat in silence while I mulled over how I was going to proceed. A nagging feeling in the back of my mind was confirming the words that he spoke but I chose to ignore it for now. I let out a long breath and glanced up to find Alec‟s gaze locked on mine. “Fine. I want to help my daughter and I‟ll do whatever you need me to do to get her the help that she needs.” “That‟s not good enough, Edward,” he whispered. “What the hell do you want from me then?” I growled. “You need to do this for you, not for Liz. By fixing yourself, you will inevitably help her.” I nodded my head in understanding, still not sure if there was even a problem, but trusting him enough to help me figure it out. “I‟m sorry but our time is up and I‟m sure Liz will be anxious to see you.” He stood up and walked around his desk, holding his hand out for me to take. I shook his hand and as I reached the door he called me back. “Think about what I said this week, Edward.” I gave him a curt nod as he walked me back to Heidi‟s office and knocked on the door. Elizabeth opened the door with a big smile on her face and then launched herself in my arms. “Hi dad!” she pulled me into Heidi‟s office where she went to the floor and helped Heidi pick up a game that they had been playing. “How did things go?” I asked, shooting a look at Heidi. She smiled and looked to Elizabeth but didn‟t say anything. “We had so much fun daddy. We played a game and talked and she said I can come back next week and we would make a poster of mom if that‟s okay?” she stopped and looked up at me like she was afraid that I would say no. Why in the world would she worry that I would be anything but supportive? When I smiled and nodded at her she continued. “I need some pictures of mom and maybe I can cut some pictures out of the magazines at the house of things that she liked.” Elizabeth rambled on about all of the things that she wanted to put on her poster as we made our way out to the car. I listened intently and filled her in on more missing Tanya information, like her favorite music and animal. I pulled up outside of the Carmel Creamery and Liz‟s eyes lit up in happiness. “Why are we here? Aunt Ali says that you shouldn‟t eat ice cream before dinner,” Liz chastised. I felt the smile grow on my face before I looked down at my little girl. “Well, I won‟t tell her if you don‟t,” I said with a wink. Her smile made my heart swell as I opened the door to the ice cream parlor for her. The Carmel Creamery was a place that Tanya and I had come to often, especially after seeing a movie or going shopping. Liz stood at the counter and peered into the refrigerated counter until her eyes landed on the flavor that she wanted. “Can I have the Rocky Road?” she asked. She turned on the charm as she smiled up at me. “Of course, anything for my sweetheart,” I said as I pointed at the double scooped cup.

“Give us each a scoop of Rocky Road and one of Chocolate Cheesecake,” I said to the red headed teenage boy behind the counter. I looked down at Liz and she beamed up at me. “Why do we get two this time? Usually we only get one scoop and why did you pick Chocolate Cheesecake?” “I‟ll tell you in a minute,” I whispered causing her to huff. I chuckled at her impatience and then smiled at her again. After paying for the ice cream I led her over to a small table and handed her a spoon. She took a bite of the Chocolate Cheesecake ice cream and her eyes widened a bit before looking up at me. “Mmmmm, it‟s really good. Why did you get it?” I took the spoon and flipped it upside down in my mouth before pulling it out. “Because it was your mother‟s favorite,” I said. Picking up the spoon, I scooped out another bite and popped it in my mouth. Elizabeth‟s smile grew as she delved into her ice cream. We sat there for a while after we finished our treat and talked about the different things that she could put on the montage of her mother. I felt a small barrier come down as we discussed Tanya and could see that she was already starting to open up a bit. Liz and I arrived home and I made us each a plate of left over pasta that Alice had cooked the night before. When we were finished, we sat down at the piano and played around until Alice and Anthony came home. Anthony ran in and climbed on my back while I was sitting on the piano bench. Liz got up and went to get ready for bed while Anthony continued to bounce on my back. “Dad! I had so much fun with Aunt Ali at Dennis the Menace. We went on the rope bridge and she finally went down the slide with Bella, and then Seth and I had a race in the maze and I won!” My eyes shot to Alice and she smiled sadly at me. “You saw Bella and Seth?” I asked, trying to keep the interest out of my voice. “Yeah, Bella took half a day off and met us at the park.” I wasn‟t fooling Alice. “I guess Seth had a dentist appointment.” “Oh, um…how‟s she doing?” I asked. “If you want to know that then you‟ll have to call her,” Alice said with a smirk. She turned and walked away before I could question her any further. “Dad, why aren't Bella and Seth coming over to the house very much anymore?” I knew this question was eventually going to come up and I probably should have said something before Seth mentioned it, but I couldn‟t bring myself to verbalize it. “Well…Bella and I thought it would be best if we were just friends,” I said, trying to keep some lightness in my voice. “So does that mean that she‟s not your girlfriend anymore?” “It means that she is still my friend, but no, she‟s not my girlfriend anymore.” Anthony seemed to process that for a minute before he climbed off my back and moved to face me on the bench. “This is Liz‟s fault,” he accused. “No, this is not Liz‟s fault,” I corrected, not wanting Elizabeth to think that Bella‟s absence had anything to do

with her. “Bella and I just decided it would be better if we were just friends. There doesn‟t have to be anyone to blame.” Anthony nodded but I didn't know if he was completely convinced about the reason for our split. “It‟s time for bed. Go get your pajamas on and I‟ll be there in a minute.” I kissed him on the forehead and nudged him towards the stairs. He darted up the stairs and I turned back around to the piano. My fingers rested gently on the keys and then they slowly started dancing across them as I played the haunting melody that reminded me of Bella. I had finished the song the week before the infamous team party and had planned on playing it for her that weekend but it never happened. I slowly brought the song to an end and closed my eyes as the notes ended with a melancholy chord. I could feel the pain of her leaving sitting just under the surface but I was getting good at not letting it show itself. I hadn‟t felt the urge to wallow in her leaving since that first night. But now, as I sat here playing her lullaby, I could feel those emotions festering to get out. I pushed her back out of my mind, not wanting to spend another night with Mr. Jack Daniels. I quickly went through the routine of tucking the children into bed before walking back to the kitchen where I left a note for Alice just in case she came looking for me. I put on a light windbreaker and went out to the patio. I slipped out of the gate and made my way down to the beach. There was a soft breeze coming off of the ocean and I took a deep breath, enjoying the smell of the fresh, evening air. There was a full moon hanging low in the sky, casting a moonlit trail across the ocean. I walked until I could barely see the lights from the house and then dropped onto the cool sand. Kicking off my shoes, I let my toes bury themselves under the sand. I sat there for a long time just listening to the waves crash against nearby rocks before I let my mind wander back to the day's events. Alec‟s comments were constantly ringing in my ears. If I didn‟t look at myself, then could I ever be able to help Elizabeth? What did he want me to look at? That I screwed up? I already knew that. That I had let Elizabeth dictate what happened in our home? Yes, I was aware that I had somehow allowed that too. The problem was, I didn‟t know how to take back the control. I realized that a lot of my giving in to her tantrums stemmed from not wanting to upset her anymore than necessary. In doing so, I had created an even bigger problem than what would have been if I had acted like a parent and disciplined her when she needed it. I sat there for a long time, running through the things I should have done differently, but there was a nagging feeling that I was only looking at the surface of the problem. Well then, what is the deeper problem? My mind immediately went to Liz but then Alec‟s words echoed in my head again. By fixing yourself, you will inevitably help her. What is wrong with me? What am I doing that I need to change? I thought about Tanya and realized that the only times that I really allowed her memory to affect me was when I was sitting on this beach. I started to let the wall go that I had built up. As each little brick came down, I felt the weight of what her death meant to me. My emotions were overwhelming as I stared out over the ocean and let myself remember things that I hadn‟t thought about in three years. Memories of Tanya flashed before me and I felt that ache in my chest and the tears on my cheek. I had swallowed down and refused to acknowledge the grief of her death for so long that I physically felt ill as I let the memories wash over me. I knew at that moment that this was what Alec had been talking about. I never allowed myself to feel the pain of losing someone I loved so dearly. My memories flooded my mind, like watching an old home movie. Tanya holding Anthony on her chest while he slept, out on the porch. Tanya laughing with Rosalie after Lily was born. Tanya reading to Elizabeth as they were both curled up in front of the fire. The beautiful bride that walked down the aisle towards me in the church on the hill in San Francisco. Her joy as she showed me the

painting she had purchased from an up and coming Carmel artist. The dinner that we had out at Rocky Point the night that she died. I felt the tears fall down my cheeks as I ran through all of the good memories that we had shared together. I hadn‟t let myself remember those things in such a long time. Every memory brought a fresh wave of grief and loss but I let them continue to come. Tanya teasing me about the nurses in the hospital. Me teasing her about her crush on Johnny Depp. Our argument about the hideous drapes she had purchased for the dining room and consequently our make up afterwards. My mind continued to run through every happy memory stored up in my mind until I had no more left. I realized that I had bottled up all of these memories and had never shared any of them with Elizabeth or Tony. I tried to remember the last time, before this week, that I had talked about Tanya. If asked, I would always respond but when was the last time I actually opened up and really talked about Tanya with my children? I remembered Tony‟s conversation with me on the anniversary of her death. He was sad because he was forgetting his mother and it was my fault. Tony doesn‟t know his mother because I never talked about her. Had I really deprived my children of their mother? I remembered the look in Elizabeth‟s eyes when she mentioned making the collage of her mother and how she looked apprehensively at me when she brought her up. I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. She was scared to bring her up. The only time she ever brought Tanya up was in anger. I remembered all of the times that Elizabeth had thrown Tanya in my face to get me to feel something, anything. She only ever mentioned her when she was angry at me. My heart broke for the mess that I had caused. Alec was right. I needed to fix myself before I could fix Elizabeth. I had locked away Tanya‟s memory in hopes of not feeling the pain and in my actions alone I had told my children that we couldn‟t talk about her. That doing so would only cause more pain. I remembered how much joy Elizabeth got out of our talk in my office. She had consumed every morsel of information that I had given to her about her mother. She took it greedily and stored it in her memory and I had robbed her of that over the last three years. I let the tears come as I grieved for my wife and for the pain that I had caused my children. The sky started to lighten with the rising of the sun and I realized that I had been outside all night. I slowly dragged my body up and trudged back towards the house. Even with the heaviness of my tired body, I felt lighter as I walked back towards the house. I slipped in the gate and opened the French doors in the kitchen. I startled Alice when I walked in. She was starting a pot of coffee and turned quickly to face me with a small gasp. “My goodness, Edward. You scared me to death,” she stated in a breathy voice. She looked at me closely but didn‟t utter a word of my disheveled appearance. “Can you get the kids to school? I need to get some sleep.” “Of course,” she waved me on to my room without any questions and I was grateful for her silence. I climbed the stairs and made it to my room. Feeling like a zombie, I stripped out of my clothes and climbed into bed. Somewhere between sleep and reality I saw Bella behind my closed eyelids. Bella‟s mahogany hair, blowing in the breeze as she sat next to me on the beach. I brushed her hair away from her face and she turned to me with a smile that made my heart thud in my chest. “I love you, Bella.”

~*~

Chapter 32 Aftermath Edward Cullen I felt the bed move before I rolled over and found Anthony perched above me. His green eyes looked concerned as he crawled on top of me and straddled my stomach. “Why you still in bed?” he cocked his head to the side. “Are you sick like Seth was last week?” The reminder of Seth and Bella made my heart twist painfully in my chest. I shook my head, answering his question. “No, I was just up late,” I said. I glanced at the clock and it was just a little after noon. “Why are you home so early?” “We had a half day. Aunt Ali dropped us off.” I saw a movement over his shoulder and saw Seth standing in the doorway looking like he wanted to come in but not wanting to intrude. I patted the side of the bed and Seth slowly made his way inside before climbing up next to Anthony. “Hey there, Storm. How was your day today?” Seth shrugged his shoulders and looked down at his hands. “It was fine, but next week I have to go to my dad‟s,” he whispered. I growled internally at the mention of Jake and his insinuations about he and Bella when I had talked to him on the phone. I reached up and ruffled his hair. “Don‟t you want to see your dad?” I asked. “Yeah, but I don‟t wanna be away that long.” “So dad,” Anthony started and I knew he had some kind of proposition. “Since Seth has to leave the day after the last day of school, we were hoping that he could stay the night tonight.” My thoughts immediately went to Bella and that I could see her if I said yes, but then my heart squeezed again when it realized that she probably didn‟t want to see me. I sighed heavily. There were so many things to consider. Would she come and get him? Should I call her and talk to her about it? Alice had been the only one to talk to her over the last week and I missed her desperately. “Sure thing, but it‟s up to Bella.” Anthony did a little bounce on my chest, knocking the wind out of me before I moved him next to Seth. “So you need to talk to her,” Tony said with finality and I briefly suspected that he was happier about me talking to Bella than he was about the prospect of his friend staying the night. Seth was smiling like the cat that ate the canary and I found myself grinning along with him. “Give me a few to crawl out of bed and I‟ll call her when I‟m up.” Both boys bounced happily on the bed before

shooting up and running for the door. “Anthony, Seth,” I called before they reached the hallway. “That means that you two need to not torment Elizabeth.” “That‟ll be easy. She‟s staying at Uncle Emmett‟s. Aunt Ali said something about wedding stuff,” I nodded my head, vaguely aware of her mentioning something earlier this week. “Well, it looks like it‟s just going to be us guys then tonight,” I said with a big smile. Seth beamed back at me before he left and I felt that protective feeling that I felt with my own kids. It irked me to no end that he would be going to Washington. I couldn't imagine how Bella would take the separation. She loved him so much. I laid back on the pillow and let my thoughts drift to the previous evening. I felt so vulnerable and, like the evening that Tanya died, out of control. Every image of Tanya was like a slap in the face. I had made so many bad decisions since she died and I wondered if letting Bella go was the right thing to do. We could have worked through Liz‟s issues together, couldn‟t we have? As I collapsed on my bed last evening, thoughts of Bella lulled me into sleep. Her smile, her laugh, all the things I loved about her. I love her. But, I let her go. I groaned out loud and raked my fingers through my hair as I sat up in bed. Why couldn‟t I have realized earlier that I loved her? I would have never let her go; now it was too late. I felt the guilt creep up and I let it take over. I was trying so hard to take Alec‟s advice and really look at how I was feeling. I felt my love of Tanya and the love I felt for Bella and it was so much different. Was that because Tanya was an unattainable love? She was gone and there was never any chance of having that love again? Or did I truly feel so much for Bella that it dwarfed what I felt for Tanya. I felt the tears slide down my cheek as I quickly wiped them away. I chastised myself. I couldn‟t compare the two. What good would it do anyway? They were both gone. But my nagging mind wouldn‟t let it go. You love her. How long have you loved her and refused to look at the emotions building inside? But does she love you? She left. If she loved you she wouldn‟t have left, would she? You‟re such a fool. It was so much easier to live in your emotionally vacant world and not acknowledge your feelings, my feelings, for Tanya‟s death and for Bella. My resolve was steeled. I‟m going to fight for her. I need Bella in my life, but I need to get Liz better. Damn. Soon. As soon as Liz is better, then I‟ll find Bella again. But will she wait? She has to wait. I rolled over and over in my mind what I needed to do and started making a plan. First and foremost, Liz needed help. Bella thought that the best way to do that was to distance herself from us. I didn‟t put up a fight for Bella because she just confirmed everything I was worried about in the first place. Maybe we didn‟t put the kids first like we should have in the beginning. Maybe we rushed things too quickly, causing Elizabeth to go on the defense. My constant refusal to talk about Tanya put my poor daughter in a position to defend her mother. When Bella was introduced, Elizabeth saw her as a replacement for her mother instead of an addition to our already established family. So the first thing on my list was to help Liz in any way that she needed. Even though I completely hated the idea of being without Bella for any length of time, I realized that her decision was for the best. The next thing I needed to do was end this silence between Bella and me. I couldn't push things with her, but I didn't want her to think that I was avoiding her. I couldn't tell her how I felt but I could be a friend and when the time was right maybe we could start over again. Hopefully I hadn't screwed this up beyond repair. When the time was right and when Liz finally accepted the changes in our family, and if Bella was still available, then I would pursue her again. The thought that she might move on before my well laid out plans came to fruition made

stomach turn. Feeling better that I had a direction and that things didn‟t look as gloomy as before, I got up and got ready for the remainder of the day. After playing a round of Mario Kart with Tony and Seth I sent them outside with their baseball gloves and told them I‟d be out after I talked to Bella. The house was quiet as I sat on the couch and stared at the Aquarium‟s number on the screen of my phone. All I had to do is push the button and I would have her on the other line, but I wavered. How could I talk to her after my realization and not tell her that I love her? All I wanted was her in my arms again as I poured out my heart and hoped that she would accept it. I hit the 'send' button and waited anxiously as the receptionist connected me to her office. “Bella Black speaking,” her beautiful voice rang back at me. I sat there trying to dredge up the nerve to answer when I heard her voice again. “Hello?” she said again. “Bella?” her name rolled off my lips and I savored it with a sad smile. “Edward?” she asked and I could hear the shock in her voice. “Yeah, hi,” I said lamely. “How have you been?” “Um…fine. Is everything okay with Seth?” Of course she would think that the reason for my phone call would be about Seth. “No, no, he‟s fine. Tony wanted him to stay the night so I‟m calling to find out if that‟s okay.” “Oh.” “Liz is staying at Emmett‟s tonight so it‟ll just be us guys,” I added. I wasn‟t sure if she was worried that an all nighter might set off Liz so I wanted to reassure Bella that Liz wasn‟t going to do anything to upset Seth. “I guess that‟ll be fine. I can bring over some of his things after work,” she said. I felt a smile spread across my face at being able to see her again. “Sure, if you want to stay for dinner then I could order take out,” I immediately kicked myself when there was an awkward silence on the other end of the line. “I mean, I understand if you‟re not comfortable with that I just thought that you need to eat, right?” I slapped my hand to my forehead as I rambled on stupidly. “That‟s probably not a good idea, Edward.” My smile was gone as I nodded into the phone. What the hell was I thinking? Of course, it wasn‟t a good idea. Stick with the plan, stupid! Fix Liz first, then reconnect with Bella. I couldn‟t put Bella back in the same situation. I needed to get my shit together first. “I‟m sorry. I didn‟t mean to make this uncomfortable. Forget I said anything,” I said quickly. I relaxed a little when she chuckled through the phone. “It‟s alright. I suppose we‟re going to have to get used to seeing each other since Tony and Seth are so close. I just can‟t do it right now,” she whispered. I nodded, feeling a sense of hope when she said „right now‟ that it wasn‟t a completely closed door.

“No, no, I totally understand,” I said, trying to backtrack and get back to a comfortable conversation. “So when do you think you‟ll be over?” “I get off in a couple of hours, so somewhere around six.” “Perfect. I‟ll see you then,” I said. When I hung up, I felt a wave of excitement rush through me. I reprimanded myself for acting like a love sick pup and then headed out to the beach where the boys were throwing the ball back and forth. We spent the next two hours playing catch and having a great time. Seth seemed to constantly seek my approval in everything that he did. I couldn‟t help but like the kid even more when he and Tony ganged up and tackled me when I teased them about throwing like girls. We ended up in a heap of tangled limbs until I had both of them pinned under me, tickling them with no mercy. Finally, through the giggles and several attempts by the boys to reverse the situation, we laid with our backs in the cool sand, sprawled out on the beach. “Coach?” “Yeah Storm?” I responded to Seth‟s inquiry. “Why don‟t you like my mom anymore?” I sucked in a breath at the unexpected question. “What makes you think I don‟t like your mom anymore?” “She said you guys broke up, so that means you don‟t like her anymore,” he stated sadly. I groaned internally. I wanted to tell him that I loved his mom and would do anything for her but I knew that would only confuse his seven year old mind and definitely wouldn‟t help my situation. “I still like your mother very much, Seth,” I assured him. “We just had to make some grown up decisions that are probably a little hard for you to understand.” “That‟s stupid,” he stated simply and I couldn‟t hold back the chuckle. “If you like my mom, then stop making her cry all the time.” My heart stuttered for a moment as his words sunk in. Bella was hurting over our break up too. I didn't know why that surprised me so much but it did. Neither one of us wanted this break. “Did she say that I was making her cry?” “No, but I know it‟s you,” he glared at me. “She cried like that when we moved in with Grandpa Charlie,” his protectiveness for his mother shining through his every action. I smiled at him and shook my head. “I‟d never want to hurt your mother, Seth.” I explained to him. He nodded at me and then looked thoughtfully out over the ocean. “We should get back up to the house. She said she was going to bring by some of your things for tonight.” Seth and Anthony looked at each other and I couldn‟t help but think that the two little mischief makers were up to something. I went into my office when we got back up to the house and tried to calm the nerves that were eating away at my self confidence. I‟m a damn surgeon. I handle pressure all the time, but right now I feel like a nervous schoolboy. I heard the doorbell ring and the boys fly down the stairs before I reached the door to my office. I turned the corner and there she was, standing in the foyer, like the first night that we went out on our unofficial date.

“Hi,” I said awkwardly as I gave her a small hug. I took in her scent; my senses were overrun with images of her hair splayed out across my bare chest. Shaking off the longing that gripped me, I smiled at her. She nervously smiled back when Seth started pulling her into the living room. “Coach is going to order pizza! What kind do you want?” I looked quickly at Bella to see what she would say when her smile wavered. “Seth, I need to go. I just brought your things for the night,” she held out a small duffle bag to him but he ignored it. “Come on mom, you can stay for pizza,” Seth urged. Bella shook her head and then shot me a glance before turning back to Seth. “Honey, I need to go. Buddy needs to be fed and-,” Seth cut her off quickly, “You need to come and see Tony‟s new pet.” I quirked a brow at Anthony and he smiled sheepishly at me before grabbing Bella‟s other hand and dragging her to the stairs. “Pet?” I asked when we were all walking towards Tony‟s room. This was the first time I had heard about any critters in my home. “Um… yeah, he‟s cool dad, Seth and I made him a house so he won‟t get out,” Tony said quickly as they both continued to urge us up the stairs. Bella turned around and her smile almost knocked me backwards. “Now it‟s your turn to find creepy crawlies under your bed and in your shoes,” she teased. I chuckled at the ease with which we fell back into comfortable conversation. After we spent the next ten minutes learning everything there was to know about Johnny the frog, Bella tried to make her excuses to leave. This time it was Tony that attempted to divert her from leaving and I immediately caught on to their game. “Wait!” he almost yelled when she went for the door to his room. “I need to show you my trophies.” I had a hand it to them for their creativity to keep her here. Tony could talk for hours about each one of his baseball trophies and all the game balls that he had gotten over the years. It wouldn‟t surprise me if he gave her a blow by blow account of each game. She looked helplessly over at me but I just shrugged. I wanted her here as much as they did and I wasn‟t about to hinder their attempts. I sat down on Tony‟s bed as he went over his trophies, rattling off his stats for each season and occasionally telling her about specific plays that he had done to earn the game balls. Bella patiently listened to every story with quiet interest until he had run out of things to say. I smiled apologetically at her but she just shook her head in amusement. As we descended the stairs, she leaned over and whispered in my ear. Her warm breath blew over my neck and sent a chill through my body. “Do you think they could be any more obvious?” she whispered with a small sigh. I shook my head and chuckled. “Awww, mom. Can‟t you stay for dinner or maybe we can watch a movie or something?” Seth whined in a last ditch effort to get her to stay. “If you want my company so badly, my dear boy, you can always come home with me,” Bella said happily. Seth wrinkled up his nose while Bella and I chuckled.

“No thanks, I wanna hang out with Tony,” he said dejectedly. She leaned over and kissed his cheek before saying goodbye. I walked her down to her car and opened the door for her to slip inside. “I‟m sorry about that,” I said as she looked up at me. “It‟s fine, I should have seen it coming. He‟s been a bit persistent about having me come over to see you.” Her smile disappeared and she looked at the steering wheel. The moment was uncomfortable. It was obvious that she wanted to get out of here but I couldn‟t close the door and let her go. I wanted her to stay more than the boys did. Finally, she looked up at me and a sad smile graced her lips. “Goodnight Edward,” she whispered. “Goodnight Bella,” I whispered as I closed the door. Again, my heart clenched at watching her drive away. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Bella agreed to take Anthony while Liz and I had our appointment later that week. Alice seemed to be wrapped up in a huge event at work and couldn‟t pick the kids up from their last day of school so Bella took half a day off and picked up the boys while I took Liz to her appointment. After the last weekend, Bella and I had seen each other several times, always avoiding any and all uncomfortable topics. Every time I saw her it was harder to let her go, but I kept telling myself that we needed this time away. The first phase in the plan was still playing itself out, so I needed to be patient. Occasionally, I would see the teasing and playful side of Bella, but then she would revert back to being polite and distant when things got too familiar. I wished that I could read her mind and find out what she was thinking about me and about our situation. I had pined over the possibilities of reconciliation all week, knowing that it was still far off. A deep desire to know if she had any feelings for me was constantly in my thoughts, but I would never overstep the carefully constructed line that was drawn to avoid any more uncomfortable moments. Liz and I arrived at the office and were immediately ushered into our respective appointments. Alec greeted me like we were old friends and I couldn‟t help but smile at him. He had opened my eyes to the damage that I had done over the years and I couldn‟t fault him for telling me like it was. “So Edward, did you get a chance to think about some of the things that we discussed last session?” he asked. “I did and I think I understand more fully what you were trying to get at.” “Excellent,” Alec smiled. He unbuttoned his sleeves and rolled them up to his elbows, the gesture made me think of someone ready to get their hands dirty. Without his probing, I launched into my experience on the beach. I felt the tears prick my eyes as I relayed the feelings that I had pushed away for three years and how when I let everything come back to me, it hurt more than I had ever imagined. He nodded his head and occasionally asked questions but for the most part let me talk. There was such a stark contrast between this session and the last one. We discussed ways that I could take back the control in my home. He mentioned that Liz needed boundaries. That in lots of cases when a parent dies the surviving one would overcompensate by ignoring bad behavior. As I digested his words I saw the many incidents, even before Bella came along, where I had let her outbursts go and didn‟t correct her. He gave me some good ideas but also warned that the change was not going to be easy. I had another fleeting thought that it was better that Bella wasn‟t around to get the brunt of Liz‟s anger when I started changing things.

“So have you dated?” Alec asked. “Uh…yeah, for a little while,” I stammered out. Not expecting this line of questioning, I started to feel myself close up. I didn‟t want to deal with the feelings of losing Bella on top of everything else. It was one thing for me to internalize what had happened and completely different to say it out loud. “How did that go?” He wasn‟t going to let me brush off the question and I didn‟t know how I felt about that. Part of me wanted to tell him everything, but another part wanted our session to be over. I looked over at the clock and sighed with relief when I saw that our time was almost over. “I think our time is up, Alec,” I said as I let out a long breath. He glanced up at the clock, confused for a moment that the time had flown by so quickly. “I guess it is. We can continue this discussion next week.” He stood up and walked over to me, shaking my hand. I made my way down the hall to Heidi‟s office and Liz came out with a big grin on her face. In her hands was a large poster board collage of Tanya. Liz had spent all week poring over magazines and pictures in the photo album. Many times this week, Alice or I sat down with her and went over the photos and the stories behind them. It had become an evening ritual before bed. Anthony would occasionally sit with us and listen intently but I could see that he wasn‟t into it as much as Liz. We left the office and stopped off at the Carmel Creamery again for our weekly indulgence. Liz talked non stop about what she and Heidi discussed and how she had helped her put the pieces together on her poster. In perfect Liz fashion, she ordered the Chocolate Cheesecake ice cream and I wondered if it was because she really liked it or if she just wanted to be closer to her mother. We talked about school and the wedding plans that she was “helping” Alice with until we pulled into Bella‟s driveway. “Do you want to come in while we pick up Tony?” I asked. She looked at me and then at the house before shaking her head. “No, I‟ll wait in the car,” she whispered. I sighed and nodded my head, not wanting to push her. I walked up to the door and knocked softly. The door swung open and Bella stood before me looking beautiful and completely flushed. She had a nervous smile on her face that seemed curious to me. “Edward,” she said, almost surprised that I was here. I gave her a questioning look. “Bella. Are you okay?” She looked over her shoulder and then back to me with an apologetic look. What the hell was going on? And then I heard his voice. “Bells, aren‟t you going to invite your friend in?” I felt my fingers clench and a wave of possessiveness engulfed me. Jake was here.

~*~

Chapter 33 The Ex’s Bella Swan-Black I had a tight schedule that afternoon. I spent the morning getting caught up with paperwork and then I got a phone call from Edward asking if I could pick up Seth and Anthony from school. I agreed, but I would be cutting it close. I had to pick them up and then get to the airport to get Jake, but since his flight arrived at the same time that the boys got out of school, he was going to have to wait until we got there. I heard a knock on my office door that pulled me out of my concentration. “Hey there. How‟s it coming on the soupfin shark?” Angela asked. I let out a deep sigh and put down the article I was working on for the Underwater Times. “I can‟t tell if the white shark killed her by hunting or if it was unintentional. I‟ve reviewed the tapes but it‟s too difficult to tell. If she‟s starting to stalk the other species then we might have to let her go,” I let out another sigh. She had only been with us for 141 days and there was still so much to learn from her. “I can already see the hate mail from PETA if word gets out.” Angela nodded her head. “Why aren‟t you doing all of that on the computer?” she asked, looking at my notes and pile of papers scattered across my desk. I groaned and kicked lightly at the stupid computer. “I did and after I had all of the stats inputted the stupid thing crashed. I lost all of it,” I whined. “Did you call IT? Sometimes they can pull the stuff off the hard drive,” she offered with an apologetic smile. “Yeah, I‟ll do that now. I have to pick up my son from school and his father at the airport at noon, so I‟m planning on slipping out early. I‟ll come in on Saturday to get caught up.” I knew that Angela would be okay with me leaving, and with Seth gone, my weekends would be free. Angela and I had developed a comfortable working relationship, and even though she had seniority over me we were basically equals. We talked briefly about what needed to be done to ensure the safety of the other species in the Outer Bay tank from our predatory guest and then she went back to her office. I picked up the phone and dialed the IT department. “This is Ben,” a pleasant voice floated over the phone. “Um, is Carl available?” I asked, not knowing who this Ben guy was. “Nope, he‟s on vacation,” he said lightly. “Oh, um…he usually helps me with my computer problems.” “Well, I‟m the new guy and I‟m pretty sure I‟m qualified to help out with anything that you need,” he said in a flirty voice. I smiled at his forward comment but chose to ignore it. “That‟d be great. When can you come look at my computer?” “Hang on a second sweetheart, I don‟t even know your name and you‟re already setting up a date,” he teased.

“Bella Black,” I said, laughing at his banter. It was obvious that he was a big flirt and probably flirted with anything in a skirt, so I didn‟t take offense. “Well beautiful, I have a few other life saving computer emergencies before I can come over. Then, a hyper little thing in the events department needs me to install some software around two o‟clock, so I can be there between eleven and one,” he offered. “I‟m leaving early, but if I‟m not here, you‟re more than welcome to come in my office and fix this stupid thing,” I growled the last bit out as I considered giving it another kick. He chuckled lightly before asking where my office was and a few questions about what happened to the computer. I hung up and hurried through the last draft of editing my article before stuffing it in a drawer to deal with tomorrow when I came in. I ran into Angela as I was leaving. “Ang, do you mind keeping an eye out for the IT guy? I need to leave and he‟s supposed to come up sometime within the next hour.” “Sure thing. I didn‟t plan on taking a lunch today so I‟ll be around.” “Great, I appreciate it. I really need the stats off of it if he can get them off. Oh…and watch out for him,” I said with a chuckle. Her eyebrow rose and I waved off her question. “He sounds nice enough, but he‟s a big flirt,” she laughed and nodded, thanking me for the warning. I ran to my car and got to the school just as classes were letting out. Anthony was jumping up and down when he realized that he was going to our house. I explained that we needed to pick Jake up at the airport and their enthusiasm increased tenfold at the prospect at seeing a plane land. Anthony grasped onto my hand and smiled up at me. I looked into his bright green eyes and felt a wave of sorrow hit me. His eyes and unruly bronze hair was so much like Edward‟s that my heart did a painful twist. I pushed it away and smiled back at him. He held my hand all the way to the car while Seth chattered on and on about seeing his father again. We arrived at the airport to see Jake standing on the sidewalk waiting for us. When he saw my car he pushed off the wall and quickly made his way over, a small overnight bag in his hand. I couldn‟t help but notice that he looked good. He no longer sported the long hair of his culture, but instead had a shorter version of Edward‟s style, an unorganized disarray. His tight band t-shirt clung to the defined muscles of his chest and his jeans were hanging dangerously low off of his hips. I sighed inwardly. He was definitely a good looking man, and with the haircut, he looked like he just walked off an Abercrombie & Fitch photo shoot. “Is that your dad?” Anthony asked in awe. Seth smiled happily and nodded his head. “He‟s huge.” I chuckled at his observation as Jake reached the car. He smiled crookedly at me when he opened the car door. “I missed you too, Bells,” he said cockily, referring to my ogling moments ago. I rolled my eyes as he leaned over and kissed my cheek. He turned in the seat and Seth launched himself over the console and into his lap. “Hey there, Buddy,” Jake whispered as he kissed his head. “Awww, dad! Buddy‟s the dog,” Seth teased. Anthony giggled in the backseat causing Jake to turn back and look at him. “So who‟s this?” Jake asked Seth. “This is my best friend, Tony,” Seth introduced. Jake looked over at me for a brief moment before turning back to

Anthony. “So you‟re the infamous Tony that Seth always talks about. He says you‟re the best baseball player he knows,” Jake said. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw Anthony beaming with pride, as Seth climbed back into his seat and we started for home. “Your dad is the coach, isn‟t he?” I shot a look at Jake and warned him with my eyes to leave it alone. He shrugged me off as Anthony talked about his father. I cringed occasionally when Tony would say something that linked Edward and myself to each other, but Jake just sat there as if Tony was speaking about the most interesting thing that he had ever heard. “Hmmm, well I can‟t wait to meet this fantastic coach,” Jake said. If I didn‟t know him better, I would have missed the sarcasm. Thankfully, the boys seemed clueless to his remark. Anthony and Seth talked the whole way home about what they were going to do for the next six weeks while Seth was away and as I listened, I caught myself trying to pick up on what Edward would be doing. Tony talked about surfing and sailing while Seth listened with a sad smile on his face. I realized that once Seth was in Washington, I wouldn‟t have a reason to see Edward. This thought made my stomach turn. “Bells?” My eyes snapped to Jake and he had a questioning look on his face. “You were in la la land. Not good when you‟re driving.” I looked back at the road and shook off the depressing thoughts that my mind had traveled in. “Sorry,” I muttered. “So…dinner?” he asked. I looked at him confused as I pulled into my driveway. “I‟m taking you and Seth out for dinner; it‟s the least I can do for offering me a place to stay.” “You don‟t have to do that.” “I want to do it,” he answered. “I was thinking that we could go to that restaurant out on Lover‟s Point that we went to after your graduation. The Tinnery or something like that.” I nodded my head, remember the time that my father had taken us out after my graduation. “It‟s actually called Latitude‟s now,” I said off handedly. “Do you remember what we did after dinner?” he asked, his eyebrows wiggling up and down. I wanted to smack him for even bringing up the one time that I had given in to his voyeuristic tendencies. He had convinced me that we wouldn‟t be seen as he dragged me down to the secluded beach, where we made love after my father had went back to his hotel. I glared at him and then opened my car door and hopped out. I slammed the door with a little more force than necessary as I stalked towards the house. His chuckle followed after me, as I went inside and the boys tore past me in a dead run to Seth‟s room. I went into the kitchen and started cleaning up the mess from the morning when Jake‟s arms snaked around my waist and his head leaned on my shoulder. “I‟m sorry, Bells,” he whispered in my ear. I could smell the musky smell of outdoors that used to make me feel alive but now I felt nothing. My memory was seared with images and the smell of Edward. Jake couldn‟t hold a candle to that. “I just missed seeing you blush. I didn‟t expect you to get pissed.” I shrugged out of his arms and started to put the dishes in the drainer away. I knew what he was trying to do and it wasn‟t going to work. “I‟m not the naïve girl that I was when we were together. You taught me that life is unpredictable and that I can't

trust the words that come out of people‟s mouths,” I spat. I felt like a bitter nag when I was with him and hated it. I was over his betrayal but I still couldn‟t hold my tongue and sit by while he tried to charm his way back into my life. I told myself over and over again that I would be civil for Seth‟s sake but at the moment I wanted to do nothing more than smack him and send him to a hotel. “Bells, honey.” I glared at him. “You haven‟t earned the right to call me honey again,” I seethed. “What? And this Edward guy has?” he accused. “Where is he? Seth made it sound like you aren‟t seeing him anymore.” “That is none of your business. You forfeited any right to know what is going on in my life the moment you chose your sleazy girlfriend over your family,” I growled. He looked at me like I had slapped him, but I didn‟t care. I had sat by and said nothing as his decisions tore our family apart. I kept everyone from knowing the depth of his betrayal and had even lied just to keep the counsel from taking actions against him. All I wanted was to get out of there and make a new life for myself and Seth without his controlling and manipulative behavior. “This isn‟t the conversation I wanted to have with you,” he whispered. “It never is,” I retorted. He let out a long sigh as we stood facing each other. He walked closer to me and placed both hands on my shoulders. I stood unmoving as I watched several emotions pass across his face. For a moment he looked angry, like he wanted to have it out with me some more but then he looked sad and dejected. My friend was under the surface somewhere but I didn‟t know if I had the energy to wade through the creep of an exhusband to get to him. “Isabella,” he whispered and I suddenly felt uneasy at his use of my full name. “There‟s no easy way to say this,” he whispered. I realized I was holding my breath and let it out in a long sigh. “I miss you and Seth. I want you to come back. I will tell Leah to leave if I can just have my family back.” I saw red. “So let me get this straight. You have her living in my house but you‟re willing to kick her out if I agree to come back.” I laughed out loud but the sound was anything but humorous. “You can‟t even let her go before you ask me to come home. What the hell is the matter with you, Jake? Can‟t you stand to be alone for a single moment?” I shoved him away from me and backed up against the counter. “You have your priorities completely screwed up.” I turned around and started for the living room, wanting to escape the idiot that I had married. I felt his fingers wrap around my arm as he spun me around. My chest slamming into his as his hand wrapped into my hair. I didn‟t have time to react when his lips crashed down onto mine. I pushed at his shoulders but he held on tighter, completely oblivious to the struggle I was putting up. When I couldn‟t detach him, I went limp. I would have fallen to the ground if he hadn‟t held me so tight. After a moment his grip lessened and his lips were softer against mine. I had my lips pursed tightly closed, waiting for him to realize that I was not responding. He pulled back and looked at my face while I glared back at him. “Mom? Dad?” I gasped and shoved Jake back as we both turned to find Anthony and Seth standing in the doorway. Seth had an uncertain smile on his face but when I looked at Anthony my heart broke. He looked like someone had kicked his puppy. His green eyes were welling up with tears but he quickly swiped them away. I wanted to go to him and find out why he was so sad but then it hit me that he probably didn‟t give up hope that Edward and I would get back together. Seeing Jake‟s grubby hands on me probably shattered any and all hope of that ever happening. I brushed past Jake and went to the boys, kneeling down in front of them both.

“Why don‟t we take Buddy to the beach?” I asked. “Yeah!” Seth shouted, pumping his fist in the air. “I‟ll get his leash.” Seth darted past me and I looked at Anthony as he smiled sadly up at me and followed Seth out the door. “Listen, Bells. I‟m-” Jake started. I held up my hand, cutting him off. “I‟m going to spend the next couple of hours with my son before he is gone for six weeks. When I come back I expect you to have sent the jack ass of an ex-husband somewhere else. If the reasonable father of my child decides to come back then he can stay.” I turned and grabbed my car keys and purse as I met the boys outside. Buddy, Seth, Tony and I all climbed into my car and I drove towards the beach. I wanted to scream and rant and pull out my hair at the stupid man in my home. He wanted me back? Sure he did. I had a fleeting moments thought of calling Leah up and telling her what Jake had just said. The vindictive side of me wanted her to hurt as bad as she hurt me so many months ago. Instead, I concentrated on calming down. I looked in the rearview mirror and caught Tony looking back at me. He looked devastated and I wanted to drive back and hurt Jake for putting that look on his face. “You alright, Slugger?” I asked. He nodded slightly and then looked down at his lap. I was going to have to talk to him. I wondered how much Edward had filled him in on our situation. Since I didn‟t know, I decided to keep the conversation as vague as possible. We arrived at the beach and Seth jumped out with Buddy and his leash and tore off down the beach. Anthony lagged behind with me as we walked silently after Seth. “You want to talk about it?” I asked when the silence had gone on long enough. He shrugged his little shoulders and kept his head down. I sighed and waited for him to set the pace of the conversation. After a few minutes he opened up. “I don‟t remember my momma,” he said quietly. “I see her in pictures and in the videos we have at home, but she doesn‟t seem like my mom.” “Have you talked to your dad about this?” “Once, but he doesn‟t like to talk about her,” he said dejectedly. “Just because you have a hard time remembering her doesn‟t mean that she didn‟t love you very much,” I began. “It‟s okay to forget. You were so little when she died that it was going to happen.” “I know. I just want a mom like you,” he whispered. “It would be really cool to have Seth as a brother but what I really want is for you to be my mom.” My heart broke a little more as this sweet boy told me about his desire to have a mom I was so taken aback by his honesty that it took everything I had to keep my legs moving down the beach. What am I supposed to say to that? I loved him almost as much as I did Seth and it killed me to hear him wish for something that would never come to pass. I stopped and sunk to my knees in front of him, pulling him into a hug. “Anthony, I love you like my own child and even though I can‟t be your mother, I want you to know that I love you and I am here for you any time you need me.” I felt the tears prickle behind my eyes and prayed that they would stay at bay until I could make him understand how I felt. His little arms tightened around my neck and I heard a soft sob.

“I love you, Bella. I just want us all to be a family. I want Liz to like you and Seth and I want my daddy to have someone that makes him happy.” He pulled away and looked at me. Tears trailed down his cheeks and his lip quivered as he continued to tell me what he was feeling. “Dad‟s not happy. He spends all his time with me and Liz, but he doesn‟t smile like he did when you were there. I don‟t think I‟ve heard him laugh one time since he told us that you aren‟t his girlfriend anymore. I miss my happy daddy. The anguish in his voice pulled the tears that I had been fighting from my eyes. I knew that this would be hard for both Edward and I, but I hated hearing that he was so miserable. It must have been bad if Tony had noticed it. “I‟m sorry, sweetheart,” I whispered, not knowing what else I could do to make things better. I gathered him in my arms and we sank down onto the beach with him in my lap. We sat there until Seth came back with Buddy, flushed and excited from their run. He plopped down and reached over to rub Anthony‟s back and then looked up at me with sad eyes. I recognized that he knew what was wrong with Tony, because he didn‟t ask what was wrong but instead continued to soothe him. I briefly wondered how much they talked about my relationship with Edward. Finally, we all stood up and made our way back to the car. I realized that Edward would probably be at the house soon to pick up Tony and I did not want to deal with what may happen if I wasn‟t there to run interference with Jake. When we pulled up to the house I let out a sigh of relief that Edward wasn‟t there yet. Jake was sitting on the couch flipping through the channels on the television. “Why don‟t you have cable?” he grumbled and I felt that annoyance build up again. Both boys ran into Seth‟s room before I turned to answer Jake‟s question. “Let‟s see. How about you tack on another fifty bucks to the child support and I‟ll get cable hooked up,” I said snidely. “I‟m sorry Bells. I didn‟t mean anything by that comment. You just take everything I say the wrong way. Can‟t we go back to the fun we had before we got married?” He smiled his charming smile and I told myself that it would be better to not fight with him for the next twelve hours that he was here. “Yeah, I‟m sorry. I shouldn‟t be so snarky,” I apologized. “S‟okay.” He patted the seat next to him on the couch but I shook my head. “I need to get Seth‟s suitcase packed,” I said. He huffed and nodded so I went to Seth‟s room and found the boys looking down in Seth‟s reptile cage. “Mom, if coach says it‟s okay, Tony‟s gonna take my animals home.” I did a silent happy dance that I didn‟t have to keep his pets alive while he was gone. “That sounds like a great idea,” I smiled. Anthony bobbed his head as Seth told him everything he needed to do to take care of his assortment of critters. I grabbed the suitcase from the top of the closet and started packing up everything that Seth would need for his stay with his father. I heard a knock at the front door and dropped Seth‟s clothes into the suitcase. I darted out of the room before Jake could open the door, just in case it was Edward. I reached the living room just as Jake stood up and I pointed back to the couch, silently telling him to sit down. I gave him one fleeting look to behave, which he answered with a shrug, before flinging the door open. Every time

I saw Edward, I felt my heart rate pick up and my breathing become erratic. It probably didn‟t help that I had just run across the house, but I couldn‟t catch my breath as he stood before me in a faded pair of jeans and a green button down shirt. “Edward,” I said breathlessly. He cocked his brow at me in question. “Bella. Are you okay?” I looked over my shoulder at Jake and he was smirking at me. I knew that he wasn‟t going to make this easy and vowed that I would make him pay if he was rude to Edward. I glared at him for a second and then turned back to Edward with an apologetic look. Before I could open my mouth, Jake made his presence known “Bells, aren‟t you going to invite your friend in?” I looked wide eyed at Edward as his face turned hard and his fingers clenched into a fist. I remembered the morning when Jake had pushed Edward‟s buttons on the phone and I groaned internally. This cannot happen now. I opened the door wider and stepped aside for Edward to enter. He walked through the door and I watched as he forced his fingers to unclench. I glanced over at Jake and he had a smug smile on his face as he looked from Edward, back to me. “Edward, this is Jake. Jake, Edward,” I introduced. Jake stood up and walked over to Edward with his hand out. For a moment, I thought Edward was not going to take his hand but then he reached out and grasped it firmly. Jake‟s hand was white knuckled as he grasped Edward‟s in what I assumed was a death grip. I rolled my eyes at their macho display of superiority. They released their grip and Jake flexed his fingers slightly before plopping back down on the couch. Edward turned to me and his eyes softened. “Is Tony ready to go?” It was obvious that he just wanted to get his son and leave. It hurt worse than anything else he could have said. I nodded and walked towards the boy‟s room. I didn‟t want to leave Edward and Jake alone so I turned and hollered to let Anthony know that his father was here. Seth and Anthony came tearing out of his room with the reptile cage in tow. “Looks like you are babysitting while Seth is in Washington,” I said, with a small grimace. He chuckled lightly and I caught myself smiling. “You are the most squeamish marine biologist I have ever met,” he teased. I gave him a small shove and he grabbed my waist to steady himself. “I just don‟t like snakes. Frogs and lizards I can handle, even though I prefer them in the wild and not my house,” I defended. His fingers lingered on my waist and he gave me a small squeeze before releasing me. I immediately missed the warmth of his hands on me and gave a small defeated sigh. It was always so hard to be around him and not want things to be like they were. As soon as Seth was gone, he‟d have no reason to come around, which broke my heart into tiny pieces. “Coach? Did ya meet my dad?” Seth asked. I had to give Edward credit when he smiled at Seth and ruffled his hair. “Sure did, Storm,” Edward said quietly. “You have fun in Washington and we‟ll see you when you get back.” “So Edward, what is it that you do?” Edward bristled at being addressed by Jake, but then a smug smile graced his

perfectly sculpted lips. “I‟m a surgeon,” he said cockily. I internally rolled my eyes, wondering if this was going to turn into a „mine‟s bigger than yours‟ contest. Jake nodded his head in appreciation and I thought that maybe this could be a civil conversation. “What is it that you do?” Edward asked. I looked at Seth and Tony who were intently listening in on the conversation. “I‟m a mechanic,” Jake said, with a sense of pride. I looked at Edward and wanted to slap him for being so conceited. He had never given me any indication of being a snob but at that moment I could tell that he thought he was better than Jake because of his occupation. “So would you like to join us for dinner?” Jake asked, and I wanted to shake my head and say no. I don‟t think I could handle a couple of hours of the tension that was currently in the room. Edward shook his head before answering. “No thank you. I‟m sure that we have different ideas on what would make a good meal.” I looked at Edward with annoyance as he dug his hole deeper. He turned his attention back to me and one look at my demeanor told him that he had screwed up. The pretentious smile melted off his face as he looked back at Jake. I glanced over at my ex-husband and he had the smug smile now. I growled out loud and threw up my hands. “I‟m changing for dinner. When you two are finished with your pissing contest then let me know.” I turned and stormed from the room. Seth and Anthony looked at me like I had lost my marbles but their look just irritated me more. “Too much stupid testosterone in this room,” and “what are you teaching your boys,” grumbled out of my mouth as I left them all standing shocked in the living room. Let them tear each other apart. I don‟t care anymore. I locked myself in my room and thankfully didn‟t hear any loud banging or yelling so I assumed that Edward had left with Tony. I punched my pillow, angry that I didn‟t get to say goodbye to Tony before they left. I debated whether or not to talk to Edward about what Tony and I had talked about on the beach but then decided that it probably wouldn‟t be a good thing to say. “Hey, your son wants me to be his mother.” Instead, I would just have to subtly talk to him or Alice about making sure that Tony gets in on some of the therapy. He was a pretty well balanced little boy but it was obvious that he felt bad about not remembering his mother and probably a little guilt for wanting to replace her. I sighed and started getting ready for dinner, deciding on a pair of black dress pants and a red lightweight sweater that dipped so low I had to put a black tank top underneath. After about half an hour there was a quiet knock on my bedroom door. I finished sliding the silver hoops in my ears as I reached for the door. Jake stood in the doorway looking very handsome in his khaki pants and blue shirt. I couldn‟t help but notice the difference between him and Edward. Where Edward was crisp and well put together, Jake had his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and one too many buttons unbuttoned on his shirt. The effect dripped sex, where Edward was more subtle in his appeal. I remembered when Jake had dropped me and Seth off that first night in Carmel and he had propositioned me for one more fling before he left. At the time, I had considered it, because we were familiar and I didn‟t really think that something better would come along. Now, looking at him in all of his sex appeal, I didn‟t have one thought about scratching that itch again. “You ready to go?” he asked. I nodded and when I stepped out of my room, Seth was dressed in a pair of black pants with a white short sleeved shirt and a tie. His hair was combed and his hands were behind his back. I gave

him the “what did you do?” look and his face lit up with a big Cheshire cat grin. He slowly brought his hands from behind his back and he was clutching an assortment of flowers that I recognized from Jan‟s garden. I fought the smile for a minute. In any other instance, I would have reprimanded him for getting into her garden, but the way he smiled up at me innocently made my heart melt. “These are for you momma. Jan said I could pick out the bestest ones,” he said proudly. I felt relieved that he had gotten permission before picking and let the smile make its way to my face. “They are beautiful, thank you,” I whispered as I bent down and took them from his hand. I leaned in and gently kissed his cheek before watching him blush ten shades of red. Jake laughed and ruffled his hair before holding out his arm for me to take. I looked skeptically at him for any alternative motives, but I didn‟t see any so I took it. “You look great, Bells,” he whispered in my ear as he helped me into the driver's seat. “Thanks,” I replied. I always felt uncomfortable accepting compliments but I knew that it was best just to accept them and then things would move quickly away from awkward. We spent a nice evening together and Jake kept his annoying comments to himself. Whenever Seth would bring up Edward or Anthony, Jake would nod politely but not push the subject, making me feel a false sense of security. Why piss me off when he could wait until tomorrow and question Seth uninterrupted by me? I tried really hard to not worry about things I had no control over and enjoy the rest of dinner. When we finally made it home, Seth had fallen asleep in the back of the car. Jake gently lifted him out of the back and carried him to his room. I tugged off his shoes and socks while Jake pulled his pajamas out of the drawer. I stripped him completely out of his clothes and had him dressed and ready for bed within a few minutes. He never woke up, through all of my tugging and pulling. After he was all tucked in bed, Jake held out his hand to help me up off of the floor but I shook my head. “Go to bed. There is a sleeping bag in the hall closet. I just want to stay in here a while longer,” I whispered. Jake gave me a sad smile but then nodded his head and left me alone with my baby. I pushed his hair off of his forehead and kissed him softly. I was going to miss this mischievous little boy that made my life so full of unexpected twists and fun. I continued to stroke his hair, leaning my head on the bed and watching him sleep. Somewhere in the night I felt a pair of strong arms pick me up and settle me in a bed. I opened my eyes to see Jake standing over me, an apologetic smile on his face. “Go to sleep,” he whispered. I nodded and looked down at the little boy that I loved so much. He had curled into my side and was nuzzled against my breast, completely unaware of the heartache that I would go through when he was gone for so long. I pulled him closer to me and buried my face in his hair, fighting off the tears that threatened to spill. How was I going to make it through six long weeks of being by myself? No Seth and no Edward?

~*~

Chapter 34 Breakthroughs Edward Cullen

After Bella stormed out of the room, I looked over at Jake, lounging comfortably on her couch as if he belonged there. Every muscle in my body screamed to yank him out of his seat and shove him out the door. I didn‟t want to leave her with him for ten seconds, let alone over night. I glared at him for a moment more before I told Anthony to go get in the car. Tony nodded and gave Seth a one armed hug, the reptile cage in his other hand, before he waved to Jake and darted out of the room. I contemplated going to Bella and apologizing for my rude comments, but decided that it would be best to just let it go. I said my goodbyes to Seth as he went back to his room and then went for the door, just wanting to escape before I said something else that he could use against me. “Edward?” Jake‟s voice was smooth and held a hint of reluctance. I gritted my teeth together and debated whether or not I wanted to talk to him. I turned slightly, but looked over his head and out the window. “I know you probably don‟t want to hear this, but thanks,” he said. My eyes snapped to his face to see what kind of game he was playing. He held up his hands in surrender with a small smirk. “Seriously, dude. Thanks for teaching Seth how to play ball. I can tell he really enjoys it and since I wasn‟t around, it was good to see that someone took an interest in teaching him.” I nodded curtly, not really sure how to take his compliment. I suppose I wasn‟t much of a threat anymore since Bella and I were no longer together. “Seth is great. It wasn‟t a chore teaching him how to pitch,” I said quietly. “Well, thanks anyway,” he said. I nodded again and then made my way out to the car. When we got home, Tony and Liz ran into the house, leaving me to contemplate the total screw up that I had made at Bella‟s home. I leaned my forehead on the steering wheel and took a deep breath. I acted like a complete ass. I had never felt more superior than I did at the moment when Jake asked my occupation. I liked to think I was somewhat humble about being a doctor, but it felt so good to rub his nose in the fact that I probably made four times what he did in a year. Then he had to go and be nice. I growled out loud and banged my head on the steering wheel. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO It had been a long couple of weeks. I hadn‟t seen or spoken to Bella since she stormed out of the room when Jake was in town. Every time I would pick up the phone to call her, I couldn't go through with it. Seth was gone and there was no excuse to just randomly call anymore. I walked into the house after a long day to hear an argument going on upstairs between Tony and Liz. I listened for a moment to see if they were going to work it out or if I needed to intervene. “It‟s all your fault!” Anthony yelled. I rolled my eyes at the theatrics. “No it‟s not. Dad said that she left on her own,” Liz sobbed out. “She left because you were mean to her. I want Bella here and you made her go away.” My mind reeled at the venom I could hear in Tony‟s voice. He rarely got angry, but when he did, it was usually for good reason. “I did not!” I could here the tears in Liz‟s voice as I ran past Alice, who had come out of her room to see what the commotion was. I made my way up the stairs to find Anthony and Liz standing in the doorway to her room. “What‟s going on?” I asked. I wanted an explanation before I jumped to the wrong conclusion. Anthony lowered his head and looked at his shoes. Liz continued to cry, so I walked over to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. She buried her face into my shirt and kept crying. I looked at Anthony and repeated my question.

“I want Bella to come over and stay with us, but Liz was so mean to her that she won‟t come back,” he stated. I shook my head and gave him a disappointed look. “Anthony, we talked about this. Go to your room and I‟ll be there in a minute,” I whispered. He turned quickly and went into his room. I took Liz into her room and sat down on her bed, pulling her onto my lap. “Sweetheart, please stop crying,” I soothed. “Tony‟s just upset that Seth is gone. I‟m sure he didn‟t mean what he said.” “Yes he did. I was mean to Bella and now you‟re sad because she isn‟t your girlfriend anymore.” Kids are so perceptive. Even though I had sat them down and told them about our break up and that it was for grown up reasons, they still put two and two together. “Elizabeth, look at me,” I said as I tilted her chin up to look me in the eyes. Her blue eyes were rimmed with tears as she met my gaze. “Bella and I needed time away. It wasn‟t because of you or anything that you did. Sometimes, when you‟re a grown up, you have to make decisions that are hard to make. Sometimes you have to do things that you don‟t want to do.” She shook her head until I let go of her chin and then she buried her face back into my chest. “Tony‟s right. It‟s all my fault. I don‟t want you to be sad, daddy. I promise I‟ll be nicer to her.” Was I really that transparent? I felt terrible about Bella being gone, but I was trying to make the best out of an awful situation. I hadn‟t realized that my kids could see through my ruse. “Seth has gone to Washington so we won‟t be seeing Bella that much for awhile.” She nodded her head before she looked up at me. “I‟ll try harder dad,” she seemed so grown up with those simple words and I hoped that maybe she was starting to come around. Maybe it wouldn‟t be that long before I could try to convince Bella that she needed to come back. I kissed Liz‟s forehead and left her to contemplate her promise. As I reached Tony‟s room, I could hear him crying on the other side. I pushed open the door and he was curled up on his bed, his back to me. I went in and sat on his bed, gently rubbing his back. I wanted to reprimand him for hurting his sister, but I knew that he only spoke the truth, so it was going to be impossible to address that part of the conversation. “I miss Bella and Seth,” I heard Tony‟s soft whisper, in between his sobs. “I know Slugger. I do too,” I said quietly. He turned over and looked at me. “Then go get her,” he stated. If only things were that simple. I shook my head. “I can‟t.” “Why not?” he asked. I sighed at his straightforward question. “I just can‟t,” hoping to stop this line of questioning. “But I want her to be my mom,” he whispered, shocking me with his words. “She said she loved me and I love her and she needs to be here with us. Seth said she‟s sad all the time, like you. You weren‟t sad when she was here. Now that Seth is gone, who does she have to keep her company?”

“I don‟t know.” “Daddy, please. I want Bella,” his plea broke my heart. He was hurting so much more than I had realized. I felt like the worst parent on the planet. He should probably be in therapy along with Liz and I had overlooked that he needed any help because he didn‟t show any outward signs of acting out. I pulled him into a hug and rocked him back and forth. “I know, Tony.” I wanted to tell him that I was going to try to get Bella back, but I couldn‟t set up a sense of false hope if she wouldn‟t have me. Liz still needed help. Even though she seemed to be coming around, I worried that her compliance to behave around Bella was more out of her guilt than her actual desire to be with Bella. I rocked Tony until he fell asleep and then slid him under his covers. The light to Liz‟s bedroom was off, so I poked my head in her door to make sure she was alright. Her heavy breathing indicated that she was sound asleep, so I closed the door quietly behind me. I made my way downstairs to find Alice sitting at the island with a pint of ice cream and a spoon. “So what was that all about?” she asked as she stuffed a huge bite of ice cream in her mouth. “Tony and Liz were fighting,” I told her. “About?” “Bella.” Alice gave me a questioning look. “Tony told Liz that it was her fault that Bella was gone.” “No, that would be your stupid mistake.” Alice quipped before diving back into her ice cream. I chose to ignore her jibe. She had frequently hurled them at me since the night that Bella had left. “So I heard some interesting news a couple of weeks ago and wasn‟t sure if I was going to tell you or not,” she continued to poke at her ice cream, avoiding my gaze. “But seeing as you are in complete denial about Bella, I figured it wouldn‟t hurt. Well that‟s not entirely true. I‟m sure it will hurt like a bitch.” “Spit it out Alice,” I growled. “We have a new IT tech,” she started, eyeing me carefully before going on. “Anyway, he came in to install some software on my computer at work and he wouldn‟t stop going on about a beautiful brunette that he had a date with.” I stiffened at the „beautiful brunette‟ part of her gossip. No, no, no, no, she isn‟t talking about Bella. Bella wouldn‟t move on that quickly, would she? “When I asked him who he was talking about, he told me about going in to fix this girl‟s computer in research,” No, no, no, no! “and that he asked her out and she accepted. It was Bella...” Alice trailed off as she watched my reaction. I raked my hand through my hair and turned away from her before she could see the anguish in my eyes. I took in a long breath and slowly let it out as I digested everything that she had just said. Bella was moving on. “Are you sure it was Bella?” “Yep,” she said, popping the „p‟. I stood motionless for several minutes, feeling the ache in my chest. It had been a constant reminder of losing Bella, but now it physically felt like my heart had been ripped out. I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a few steadying breaths before turning back to Alice. “How‟s the wedding going?” I needed to talk about something else. Alice looked at me like I had just asked her to jump out of a moving vehicle. She threw the spoon into the half empty container and slammed it down on the

counter. “You have got to be kidding me. I just told you that the love of your life was going on a date and you want to talk about my wedding?” she seethed. “What the hell is wrong with you?” “Alice, please-” “Don‟t Alice me! I didn‟t tell you this to hurt you. I told you about Bella‟s date to kick you in the ass and get you to do something. Anything!” she shook her head and glared at me. “You want to just pretend that it‟s not happening? That if you stick your head in the sand, then it won‟t hurt?” “Of course it fucking hurts!” I screamed back at her when she hit a nerve. “It hurts worse than you can imagine. I want nothing more than to run to her and tell her that I love her and beg her to come home with me! I want her forever, Alice!” “Finally!” she threw up her hands up with a small smile on her face. “A reaction. Now go over there and tell her what you just told me.” “I can‟t,” I muttered. “You can‟t or you won‟t?” Alice questioned. “This is about Elizabeth. Once I fix her, then I can try to heal the rift between Bella and I.” “If you‟re not too late?” Her comment stung. I shook my head and walked out of the kitchen. I couldn‟t deal with Alice and her constant pushing. I had a plan and it would work. If I‟m not too late. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The next week was filled with work and therapy appointments. Alec hadn‟t brought up Bella again in our previous sessions, but I figured that it was only a matter of time before he did. I walked into his office and plunked down in the chair opposite his. “Hello, Edward,” he greeted. “How was your week?” “It was fine.” “Did you get a chance to try out some of the suggestions I gave you last week?” Alec and I had discussed different ways that I could open up to Liz and talk about her mother. We also talked about the best way to set some boundaries concerning her behavior. At first she had responded well, but the first time she had an outburst and I had to enforce the new rules, she bucked the system we had agreed upon. This only happened a couple of times before she fell into an understanding that I wasn‟t going to waver. “I did, and Elizabeth responded much better than we thought she would,” he nodded at my admission. “Excellent, excellent,” he said happily. “Then I want to get into some things that might be a little painful to relive, but I think that you need to explore.” I nodded for him to continue. “I would like for you to tell me about the accident.” I immediately stiffened.

“I‟d rather not,” I said between gritted teeth. “I understand if you are reluctant, but I think you need to talk about it,” Alec prodded. “No, I don‟t think I do.” Alec‟s demeanor changed immediately when he recognized that I wasn‟t going to be pushed on this topic. “We don‟t have to broach this subject now, but I‟m afraid that if you continue to put off the inevitable, then it will only be more painful when you do finally let it out.” “I appreciate your understanding, but I don‟t think I‟m ready to talk about that.” “Very well,” he said. I was surprised that he let it go so easily. “Then let‟s talk about your dating history,” he looked at me expectantly. “Well…um…I dated one woman for awhile,” I said quietly. “But, we ended things a month ago.” “Tell me about her,” he asked. “She‟s beautiful and caring. She has a little boy that I adore and he‟s also Tony‟s best friend.” I started talking about Bella and found that I wanted to tell him everything. I wanted to tell him about the funny things that she said while she was sleeping and the way her brown eyes danced with mischief when she teased, or how she hated spinach if it was cooked, but loved spinach salads. However, I decided to stick with the basics. “Bella is amazing. She‟s a marine biologist at the Aquarium and is extremely smart. She‟s a fabulous mother and is so selfless,” I rambled. After several minutes, Alec tried to shift my answers. “So, why did you break it off? It‟s pretty obvious that you care deeply for her.” I explained the problems that we were having with Liz and how she had retaliated on Bella. Alec, patiently listened as I recounted every detail of the decline in Elizabeth‟s behavior towards Bella. When I was finished, he sat quietly as if he were in thought. “So, you broke it off to help Liz?” he asked. “No, Bella broke it off so I could help Liz,” I corrected. He nodded slowly. “How do you feel about that?” I raked my fingers through my hair. “I hate it,” I answered honestly. “She‟s the first woman that I have felt anything for since Tanya. But, Liz is my main priority right now.” “Do you love her?” he asked. I felt a lump in my throat start to form, I nodded. “Yeah, I do. Very much, but I‟m afraid she may be moving on,” I whispered. “How do you mean?” “My sister found out that she has a date with a coworker,” I said quietly. “How are you handling that?”

“How the hell am I supposed to handle it?” I felt the pent up anger start to boil under the surface. He reworded his question. “What do you want to do about it?” “I want to run to her, tell her how much I love her, and beg her to take me back,” I answered truthfully. “Then what‟s stopping you?” he asked. I looked at him like he had two heads. “Elizabeth,” I stated. He shook his head slowly. “And why is it that Elizabeth is holding you back?” “Because she needs me right now,” was he dense? Everything I was doing was for Elizabeth. “I‟m going to be straight with you, Edward. Lots of relationships have their ups and downs, especially when you are trying to blend two families together. I think maybe you need to analyze a little deeper why you‟re willing to let her go.” I sat across from him, boiling in anger at his assumption that I would just let Bella slip out of my grasp for a flippant reason. Elizabeth is my priority. But, there was also a small spark of hope that what he was hinting at might be possible. Could we work on our relationship together, while still getting help for Elizabeth? Alec watched me for a minute before looking at the clock. “You have your monthly appointment with Heidi. One of the interns will take Liz in the playroom and entertain her while you talk to Heidi,” he explained. He led me to Heidi‟s office as Liz was coming out of the office with the intern. She gave me a big smile and a small wave before disappearing down the hall. “Edward,” Heidi greeted with a smile. She motioned for me to take a seat while Alec left to see another client. “First off, I want to say what a delightful child Elizabeth is,” she started. I nodded in agreement as she continued. “She is very headstrong and loyal, especially to her mother‟s memory. It didn‟t take very much for her to open up about her mother.” “I‟ve also gathered from our conversations that you don‟t talk about Tanya very much in your home.” I nodded my head; this was something that I had been working on with Alec‟s suggestion. “I wouldn‟t not talk about her; it‟s just that I never brought her up. I‟ve been working on remedying that problem.” “Excellent,” she smiled before turning serious. “Elizabeth has an unhealthy fear of abandonment. She lost her mother, some family members were not around as much as they were before her death,” I thought about Rose and the girls when she mentioned this. “Now her aunt is going to get married and move out of the house, along with your girlfriend not being around anymore,” this last part surprised me. “Liz mentioned Bella leaving?” Heidi looked at me for a moment before deciding on what she wanted to share with me. “She mentioned her, but you‟ll have to understand that I don‟t discuss what we talk about in our sessions,” she said, reminding me of the doctor/client privilege. I nodded my head in understanding, but my curiosity of what they talked about was piqued.

“I‟ve also gathered that you haven‟t been much of a disciplinarian,” she said. I agreed and told her what Alec and I were working on to set boundaries with Liz. “I‟ve noticed that with many patients, the survivor guilt tends to make the surviving parent be more lenient on offenses that would normally be dealt with. In most cases, the parent overcompensates with being more of a friend than a parent. Elizabeth needs clear boundaries, so I recommend that you continue on with the plan that you and Alec have set up. Just remember that she needs consistency. If she sees you waver, she will take advantage of it.” I nodded, remembering how she pushed the boundaries when I started enforcing the new rules. “Children can be very protective of their parents. If Elizabeth knows that talking about Tanya will upset you, then she will not bring up her own distress or confusion about death. This leaves her more vulnerable and isolated in her sorrow. Elizabeth needs to know that it‟s okay to talk about her mother,” she said. I filled her in on a few of the things that I had been doing to open up more about her mother. “Good. Now, we need to address how you can help her with her abandonment issues. First, be honest, open and clear. She needs to know that she can come to you without your grief getting in the way. Next, do not avoid the topic when she brings it up and be prepared to discuss the same details again and again. Sometimes children need to hear the same facts over and over again until they process the information. It is extremely important that you be available, reassuring and predictable.” Heidi looked over her notes and then back at me. “The biggest issue with Elizabeth is her need to control the situations that she is in. She feels like everything is out of her control and that is why you are getting the outbursts. Find ways that help her have a measure of control in every situation. If you are going on a date, get her involved in picking the place. This will help with her to know when you will return. Your sister is already doing these things, as she lets Liz help with the wedding preparations. Involve her more in the decisions that you make. By doing so, you show her that she is a part of your life and that she has value,” she said. Heidi paused for a moment in thought before she continued. “I will tell you that most of the problems you had with your last relationship and Liz, were due to not communicating with her.” I sat back in the chair and mulled over what she had said. Every step of the way, I kept things to myself about Bella. It wasn‟t until Elizabeth caught us kissing on the ball field that she realized there was something more going on with Bella and I. The more I looked into the timing of her outbursts, the more everything started to make sense. It was like a light bulb went off in my head. I leaned forward with my elbows on my knees. “So all I need to do is communicate more with Elizabeth and she will accept Bella?” I asked, hoping that she would answer my straightforward question. She smiled sadly at me and shook her head. “I can‟t tell you that, Edward. But I will tell you that she adores Bella. She just doesn‟t know how to reconcile her loyalty to her mother with her desire to have Bella in her life as well,” she said quietly. I was extremely surprised that she seemed to have more affectionate feelings towards Bella. Liz‟s guilt was something I was very familiar with. I had those same feelings when I started dating Bella, I still do. As I thought about what Heidi said, the things that Alec had brought up in our session started to ring in my ears. The guilt was overwhelming at times. Was this why I let Bella go without a fight? I told myself over and over again that it was all about Liz, but was it really? I filed that away to think about later when I could put my full focus on it. I let out a long sigh. “Do you have any questions?” Heidi asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I shook my head. “No, you‟ve give me a lot to contemplate,” I said.

“Elizabeth is very mature for her age. I really think that she will resolve the majority of her problems fairly quickly. I‟ve seen huge improvements, just in the past several weeks.” I smiled the first genuine smile in weeks. “Thank you so much for your help. I also think that I need to get Anthony in here to talk to someone,” I said as I shook her hand. “I think that would probably be a good idea,” she agreed. I walked out of Heidi‟s office and retrieved Liz from the intern before taking her out for our weekly daddy/daughter date. She chatted about her new friend and then, we commenced in our conversation about her mother. The more we talked about Tanya, the more I could see that things were starting to look up. On our drive home, Elizabeth slipped her ear buds into her ears and listened to her ipod while I thought about the things that Heidi and Alec had said. Could I bring Bella back into our circle? Would Liz be okay with it? Did I let Bella go because of my own guilt? Would she still be available by the time I figured my shit out? Or am I going to be too late?

~*~

Chapter 35 Discoveries Bella Swan-Black Watching Seth board the airplane was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. Thankfully, the Monterey airport was small enough that I could stay with them up until the flight boarded. I felt a small sense of relief that he was excited to be seeing his grandfather, along with some old friends from school. Jake reassured me that things with Leah would be fine and that he would explain their relationship to Seth on the flight. I would have preferred to have the discussion at home, where Seth was most comfortable, but that never happened. Jake kept putting it off and I had a sneaking suspicion that he was afraid Seth wouldn‟t want to go for his visit with him if he knew. I hoped Seth would take the news well. He seemed to take immediately to Edward, so I was hoping that this transition would be easy for him as well. I kissed him before he took his father‟s hand to go through security, his little backpack clutched in his hand. I told myself over and over again that I would not let him see the tears. He needed to go and not feel bad for leaving me behind. He turned and waved enthusiastically one last time before he was ushered outside to the awaiting jet. I dragged myself to my car and climbed in. As soon as the door was closed, I let the accumulated stress over the last two weeks escape in heavy sobs. I cried until I heard a faint knock on the window, startling me out of my pity party. I looked up to see an older security guard staring at me with concerned eyes. I rolled down my window a few inches and he smiled at me. “Are you okay, Miss?” he asked. I nodded my head and sucked up a sniffle that was attempting to come out. “Yeah, my son just left for six weeks,” I croaked out. He nodded his understanding and smiled gently at me before he turned and walked away. I decided that the best thing to do was to throw myself into work as much as I could, to make the time fly by faster. So, I drove straight from the airport down to the Aquarium. Cannery Row was packed with tourists; I always tried to avoid the area on the weekends. I slid my employee card through the

security gate and made my way up to my office. The research offices were empty as I came in and plopped down at my desk. There was a note from Angela taped to my screen asking me to call her when I came in. I flipped on my computer, happy to see that it started right up. I scanned through my files and saw that everything was still there, which made me smile since it meant that I didn‟t have to re-input all of the data. I made myself a note to call the IT guy on Monday morning and thank him for restoring all of my files. I picked up the phone and dialed Angela‟s number. “Hello?” “Angela, it‟s Bella,” I replied. “Oh, hey Bella.” “I got your note. What did you want to talk to me about?” There was a slight hesitation before she answered. “Well, Ben got all of the files off of your old hard drive and he swapped it out with a new one.” “Thanks, I see that everything is here, even the file I‟d been working on when it shut down,” I said. “Did he say anything else?” “Well…um, yeah. That‟s why I wanted to talk to you,” there was a long pause. “Oh Bella, please don‟t hate me,” she all but wailed. Why on earth would I hate her? “What happened, Angela?” I asked. “I saw the new IT guy go into your office yesterday and he was so dang cute,” she started with a small giggle that was completely out of character. “I went into your office to let him know what you wanted off of your computer and he just automatically assumed that I was you. He flirted with me, and I couldn‟t resist Bella. Do you know how long it has been since a guy flirted with me?” I started to chuckle as she continued. “Anyway, we started talking and he kept flirting and I just never corrected him. He kept calling me beautiful and I totally melted. I‟m so sorry. I just didn‟t know what to do. He was so sweet and when he asked me out, I said yes. I‟ve messed everything up and it hasn‟t even started.” “Woah, wait a minute. He asked you out?” I heard her giggle like a teenage girl on the other end. Angela was always professional, I never thought she would consider going out with a coworker. “Yes, he asked me to dinner next weekend.” “But he thinks you are me?” I clarified. “What am I going to do?” she cried. “Did he ever actually call you Bella?” I asked, remembering that she said he had called her beautiful, just like he did to me on the phone when I had given him my name. “Well, no. But he made comments like it was my computer. Oh, and by the way, you need to update your virus software more often. He totally drilled me for like ten minutes about updating it and if I…I mean you, would have

done that, then your computer wouldn‟t have crashed. But, anyway, besides that, he just called me beautiful.” “You‟re fine, Angela,” I assured her. “I have to tell him that I‟m not you,” she argued, not understanding what I was getting at. “No you don‟t, it was a misunderstanding. I‟ll make sure that I go down to IT Monday and thank him for fixing my computer and then he‟ll put two and two together. It‟s just a misunderstanding. He‟ll probably feel silly that he assumed without asking, but this way he can save face.” It would have gone over much worse if there had to be embarrassing reintroductions. “But what if he wanted to take you out instead?” “Pssh, I highly doubt that. Have you taken a look in the mirror lately? Besides, I‟m not going on a date with anyone for awhile.” I felt the sting of my words, but didn‟t think it would be appropriate to break down and start crying at work. “I‟m sorry, Bella, I didn‟t think-” “No apologies, please. I‟m fine,” I said, and then immediately changed the subject. “So, don‟t worry about Ben. I‟ll make sure that everything gets straightened out Monday.” “Thank you so much. I owe you for this.” “Anytime and yes, yes you do,” I teased with a small laugh. I hung up and went to work catching up on all of the paperwork that I needed to finish and the article for Underwater Times I needed to get sent out on Monday. The attention that the white shark had received had added to my work load. There were several scientific magazines that wanted articles about her progress and the steps that we had taken to keep her healthy, then there were the countless news and television reporters that all wanted to do their own exclusives. I felt more like the PR person for the aquarium than the research biologist. After several hours, I sat back in my chair and decided to take a break. My thoughts immediately went to Edward. I was still pissed at his arrogance when he came to pick up Tony yesterday, but I knew deep down that it was all just to irritate Jake. Could I really blame him? I probably would have done something similar if his ex-wife had been taunting me. But, Edward didn‟t have an ex-wife. He had a wife. A beautiful, wonderful, perfect wife, who died tragically. I felt a twinge of jealousy and immediately felt bad. All the time while we were dating, I never felt the jealousy that I was currently feeling for a woman that was not coming back. But I knew that his heart was with her. He loved her so much that he stopped living. I wanted that kind of love from him and I never got it. Stop it, Bella! You can‟t live by the „what ifs.‟ The thoughts of Tanya spurred my curiosity further. Edward told me that she had died in a drunk driving accident, but never really gave me the details. I don‟t know what made me do it, morbid curiosity or just wanting to get a deeper understanding of what he had gone through. I opened up Google and typed in Edward Cullen, Carmel CA. Right there on my screen was a picture of the man I loved. He had on a white lab coat with a stethoscope around his neck, his hair its usual sexy mess. I sighed out loud and felt that familiar burn behind my eyes. I scanned the page, dragging my eyes away from the painful picture. About halfway down the first page was Tanya‟s obituary. I skimmed over it, the typical information of birth, death, marriage, and surviving family. It had her

accomplishments, which said she had graduated from Stanford with a Bachelor‟s in Art History before she started her family. She was an avid art collector and had been on the board of several charitable organizations. At the bottom, it asked that any donations be sent to Mothers Against Drunk Driving. I clicked the back button and scanned the information on the different accomplishments that Edward had. I was going to look through one more page and then if I didn‟t find what I was looking for, start another search, when something caught my eye. I debated with myself if I even wanted to know this information, but then decided that it couldn‟t make me feel any worse than I already did and might possibly answer some questions. I wasn‟t prepared for the onslaught of emotions that I felt when I opened up the website. The Monterey Herald had reported the accident. Right at the top of the article was a photo of a mangled black car. The whole passenger side was demolished, with a huge hole in the windshield. What was so surreal was that the car was literally teetering on the edge of a cliff, the ocean set in the background. Just a few more inches and Anthony and Elizabeth would have buried both parents. I felt a lump rise in my throat. The date of the accident was exactly three years before the date I had moved back to the area. I had known this, but the simple reminder sent a jolt through me. I read the article. A Carmel woman was killed Friday night when the car that she was riding in was hit by a drunk driver. California Highway Patrol says that Tanya Cullen was killed on the Pacific Coast Highway after the car that her husband was driving was broadsided by a drunk driver. She was air lifted to Community Hospital where she died from her injuries. The driver, 21 year old Matthew Green from Big Sur, was arrested and charged with vehicular manslaughter after he walked away with minor cuts and bruises. “The ironic thing is that if he (Green) didn‟t hit the Cullen‟s car, he would have gone over the embankment and killed himself instead of a mother of two small children. He was going too fast to have stopped,” Officer Martin reported. I didn‟t even realize I had been crying as I read the account of what happened. Not only did Edward lose his wife, but there was also a trial, and his children to deal with as well. I went back to Google and typed in Matthew Green, Big Sur, CA. There on the front page was an article from the Herald, three months later. Matthew Green of Big Sur pleaded guilty for vehicular manslaughter last week and was sentenced today to ten years behind bars. I gasped. This man only got ten years, when he ripped a mother away from her children? He would probably be out sooner, since he didn‟t have any prior offenses. How is that justice? I skimmed over the details of the accident and felt my heart sinking. The family of the victim had no comment. How many times had I seen an article like this in the paper, and how many times did I brush it off as an unfortunate accident? These were real people, with real families and people that loved them. This hit so close to home. My heart clenched at the thought of Edward not being on this earth; that a few more inches, and he would be lying next to his wife in a cold grave. I clicked my browser closed, not wanting to read anymore. How did Edward handle this? My mind was swimming in the pain that he had to have gone through. I don‟t know that I could have gone on if it had been him that had died and he was my husband. A sob escaped my lips and I covered my mouth with my hand. I understood his pain just a little more as I sat at my desk and cried.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Four weeks is a long time to be alone when you are used to someone always with you. I heard from Seth once a week, and was waiting for his weekly phone call before I went into work. Alice had called a few times asking me to go out with her and Jasper, but I always declined. I realized that I was in a spiraling, downhill depression. I got up and ate breakfast, went to work, skipped lunch, stayed late and then came home to Hot Pockets before going to bed. I hate Hot Pockets. Everywhere in my home, there was a reminder of Edward. In the hallway was Seth‟s team picture with Edward standing in the back with his crooked smile. That picture was taken the day we had our first kiss. If I walked into Seth‟s room, the snake that he had won for Seth while we were in Santa Cruz was a harsh reminder of the passionate nights we had shared on the boat. Then, there were the dolphins that sat on the shelf in the living room. I couldn‟t even look at them without tears coming to my eyes. All of these reminders were hard, but it was when I decided that spring cleaning needed to be done and I found Edward‟s stethoscope under the bed, that I broke down. I sat on my bed and cried for an hour after I found it. The constant reminders were killing me. I didn‟t have Seth as a distraction, so every waking moment that wasn‟t filled with work was focused on Edward, no matter how hard I tried to push his memory away. The phone ringing startled me from my musings. “Hello?” “Mom?” Seth‟s voice came through the receiver, making me smile. “Hey, baby. How are you?” “I miss you, mommy,” Seth said quietly. He never called me mommy anymore, so I knew something was up. “I miss you too, sweetheart. You sound sad, are you okay?” I asked. I heard a little sniff and all I wanted was to hold him in my arms. “No, I want to come home,” he whispered. I realized that he didn‟t want whoever he was with to hear him. “I‟m sorry, Seth. You‟ve got two more weeks with your dad,” I apologized. The urge to take the next flight out of Monterey was tugging at my heart. “Have you gone fishing with grandpa?” “Yeah, we go on the weekends. But, dad‟s never home. I thought he would be home more, so we could do stuff.” Seth‟s disappointment was evident, and I wondered why the hell Jake was never home. “What do you mean he‟s never home?” “He‟s at work and council stuff, and then I have to stay with Leah,” Seth pouted. “Do you like her?” Previously, he had avoided all talk of her, so I wasn‟t sure what his feelings toward her were. “She‟s alright, but she cooks funny and the house has all this pink girly stuff, and she wants me to call her mom.”

I saw red. Every muscle in my body tensed at the thought of that woman trying to take that title and call it her own. You earn that title. It took me a few moments to compose myself before I asked my next question. “Do you call her mom?” “No, but she always tells me to,” he whispered. I was pissed that she would put Seth in an uncomfortable situation. “Have you talked to your dad about it?” “No,” he said quietly. “He said we‟d play baseball too, but we still haven‟t. Coach always played baseball with Tony and me.” “I know, honey. Can I talk to your dad?” I asked. I needed to straighten out a few things with him if this was going to be our permanent arrangement. “No, he‟s not here. You can talk to Leah if you want.” “No, that‟s okay,” I said, not wanting to talk to that woman. “Seth, I know it‟s hard to be away from home, but you‟re going to have to stay for another two weeks, and then you can come home.” “Why?” How do you explain to a child about court ordered visitation. “Because your dad doesn‟t get to see you very much, so you need to spend this time with him. You won‟t see him again until Christmas,” I reminded him. “I know,” he relented. “I just miss you and Tony and Coach and even Elizabeth.” “We miss you, too,” I said, knowing that it was the truth for at least three of the four. I could hear a quiet sniff as he held back tears. “I love you mom. Leah said it‟s time to get off the phone.” My blood boiled again. Who the hell was she to tell Seth it was time to get off of the phone? “I love you too, sweetheart. Can you please put Leah on the phone?” “Sure. Bye mom,” he whispered before I heard him hand off the phone. “Hello?” I could hear the apprehension in her voice. Good. “I‟m only going to say this once. So listen closely,” I growled. “If you don‟t get Jake to spend more time with his son, I will make sure that his court ordered visitation is limited to one week in the summer.” “He‟s working a lot and-” she tried to defend him. “I don‟t care if he‟s working or not, and neither does Seth. He owns the damn shop and he can take time out to spend with his son,” I paused, thinking for a moment if I really wanted to say what was on my mind. When I heard her exasperated sigh, my mind was made up. “Unless he doesn‟t want to be home for other reasons?” I asked smugly. This would probably be the one and only time that I would ever speak to this woman and I wasn‟t

going to hold back. “Or, maybe he‟s found someone else on the side. You know what they say about a man that strays.” Oh, that felt good. I could hear her heavy breathing on the other line. At least she had some restraint at holding her tongue. “Next, the title of mother is earned. You have done nothing to earn it, so stop asking for it. Breaking up a family so you can weasel your way into my old life doesn‟t make you Seth‟s mother.” “Is that all?” she asked in a strained voice. I could almost see the steam coming out of her ears. “No. One more thing. If you ever try to keep my child from me, even if it is just on the phone, I will make your life a living hell. Are we clear?” “Crystal,” she said. I promptly hung up the phone and immediately dialed Jake‟s shop. “JB‟s Garage, Embry speaking.” “Embry, its Bella,” I breathed a sigh of relief that it was Embry. “Bella baby! How‟s California?” “It‟s fine,” I said quickly. “I‟m sorry, I don‟t have time to talk. I have to get to work, but I need to speak to Jake.” “He‟s under a hood right now.” “Embry…if you love me at all, you will get him on the phone now.” The phone rang in the background. “Let me put you on hold for a sec,” he said. “No! Embry, it might be Leah and I need to talk to Jake before she does,” I said quickly, before he put me on hold. “Don‟t worry. If it‟s that witch, I‟ll tell her that he‟s busy. Hang on.” I loved that boy. “Hello?” Jake‟s deep voice reverberated through the line. “Jake, I‟m getting on a plane and coming up there to pick up Seth,” I said in the no nonsense tone he knew not to mess with. “What?” “How much time have you spent with him in the last four weeks?” I accused, immediately jumping to the offense before he had a chance to flip the tables. “Well, I have to work, and he and Leah are getting along fine. They do stuff toget-” “He doesn‟t care about Leah. He wants to see his father, and you have abandoned him with a woman that he barely knows!” I screamed into the phone.

“Now, Bella. Leah loves Seth and would do anything for him,” he said defensively. I growled into the phone at his dismissal of my accusation. “Just shut up,” I hissed. “Seth called me crying this morning and wants to come home because he hasn‟t seen you! I didn‟t send him up there to get cozy with your girlfriend. Either you take the time off and spend it with your son, or I am flying up there to get him.” The only sound on the line was my heavy breathing for several minutes. “I‟ll see what I can do,” he finally said. “I will call you when I get off work,” I said and then hung up on him. I was so mad that I was shaking. There was nothing worse than hearing your baby on the phone, almost a thousand miles away, wanting you, and there was nothing that you could do. I contemplated calling Angela and hopping on a flight right then, but I wondered if a breach of our visitation arrangement could be used against me to get custody changed. I was really starting to think that I should have included ALL of the details in the divorce to cement custody, but at the time I never thought Jake would do these things. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO I was twenty minutes late for work, but was thankful that I didn‟t have anything pressing to do since I had worked so much overtime over the last four weeks. I walked into my office to find a note from Angela on my monitor. Bella, Don‟t forget about lunch today. I‟ll be out of the office, so I‟ll meet you and Ben at the restaurant. Ang I had completely forgotten that I had agreed to go to lunch with them. After the misunderstanding was cleared up, the two of them had become inseparable outside of work. I was the only one that Angela confided in that they were dating. She was afraid that it wouldn‟t look professional if people found out she was dating a coworker. It was obvious when I introduced myself to Ben that he was a bit stunned to learn that Angela was not me. He snapped out of it rather quickly, and tried to casually ask me about the other brunette that was in my office. With a straight face, I answered all of his inquiries as if I was oblivious to his mistake. After feeding the penguins, I helped out in the touch pool since we had several field trips scheduled, then I spent the rest of the morning in the lab, going over footage of the previous evening. The white shark had decided to take another bite out of one of her tank mates. She was getting more aggressive and I was getting closer to my conclusion that she would need to be released back into the ocean. The executives at the aquarium were not going to be happy with that decision since she brought in a large amount of revenue. Thankfully, I was told that my job would still be secured, even if she was released. There was an underlying hope to get another white shark, so they wanted someone who had experience to make the transition easier. “Knock, knock,” Alice‟s voice rang through my office. I turned to her and gave her a smile.

“Hey, what‟s up?” I asked. “I wanted to know if you wanted to go to lunch today?” “Actually, I already have lunch plans,” I said with a disappointed look. I really did enjoy Alice‟s company and we hadn‟t spent much time together since Seth left. “Oh, maybe next week then?” she asked. “Yeah, that would be great.” “So, when is Seth coming home? Anthony is dying to see him again.” “I talked to him this morning and he misses Tony too,” I said with a sad smile as I remembered or conversation from this morning. “He still has two weeks at his father's.” I grumbled. Alice smiled at me kindly. “You miss him too, don‟t you?” “Yeah. I‟ve never been away from him more than a weekend, so it‟s been pretty difficult.” “I‟m sorry,” she offered. “Thanks.” “Hey, Bella are you ready to go to lunch?” Ben asked as he came in with a big smile. I couldn‟t help but smile; he was always positive and light hearted. “Yeah, let me get my things,” I said as I turned back to Alice. “How about we have lunch next Friday?” She nodded and gave me a sad smile as she went out the door. I wonder what has her so down? Maybe I should have invited her along, or canceled with Ben and Angela. I didn't think I had seen her that down, ever. Ben and I walked down Cannery Row until he stopped at Jasper's restaurant. I hadn‟t been there since Alice and I had come for lunch. Jasper was standing at the counter and smiled brightly when he saw me. He walked around and gave me a big hug. “Bella, it‟s so good to see you,” he whispered in my ear and gave my shoulders a small squeeze. “You too, Jasper.” “Alice said she was coming down for lunch, and she said that she was going to ask you to come.” “I already had lunch plans, so we made a date for next week,” I told him. He looked over at Ben and eyed him carefully. Then he looked nervously at the door before he turned to me with a smile. “How many for lunch?” he asked. “Three, please.” He nodded and then led us over to a table by the window. Angela had yet to arrive, so Ben was entertaining me with stories of some of the interesting things he had found inside a computer.

“The kid was pulling out the fuzz from the couch cushions and stuffing it in the fan in the back. He had so much in there that the computer kept over heating,” he said with a chuckle. I immediately thought that his story sounded like something Seth would do. I was laughing so hard that I didn‟t hear someone had approached our table. “Bella?” My laughter was cut off and my eyes snapped up to the face that I hadn‟t seen in four long weeks. Edward.

~*~

Chapter 36 Hope Edward Cullen The weeks without Bella had been unbearable. The upside to our separation was that Liz was improving drastically each week. We spent our free time together catching up on memories of her mother that I should have shared with her from the beginning. After Anthony‟s confession about Bella, I realized that his disinterest in Tanya stemmed from his loyalty to Bella. It amazed me how his issues were the complete opposite from Liz‟s problems, yet still the same. Counseling had progressed, and we had started family sessions with a family group therapist by the name of Peter. He opened up a whole new understanding on how to better help Elizabeth and Anthony. Not only did I have some realizations, but apparently Liz did as well. She had been working with Heidi to get to the point where she was open to the idea of me seeing someone. On several occasions, she brought up Bella, but we never ventured too deeply. Her questions revolved around if I had seen her, or if I would invite her over for dinner. I never did. However much Liz seemed ready to have Bella back in our lives, she wasn‟t. It was obvious that she wanted me to be happy, but it wasn‟t enough. She needed to move past her irrational loyalty to her mother. In our sessions together, Anthony brought up his love for Bella. At first, Liz became defensive and strongly defended her position that Bella was trying to replace Tanya. After a few questions from the therapist, he had turned her thinking around and gave Liz some things to ponder. One was if she thought I should be alone forever. The look on her face was painful to watch. She struggled with wanting to keep her mother‟s memory alive and letting me be happy. After that, she was more open to the idea of someone in my life. I could see Elizabeth starting to tear down her walls. As for Anthony, he just needed someone to talk to about all of the changes in our home. His acceptance of Bella came from his desire for a mother. I didn‟t doubt that he loved her very much, but it was mainly the idea of having a mother that he desperately clung to. So many times, I wanted to tell him that I would do everything I could to get Bella back in our lives, but I just couldn‟t raise his hopes when I didn‟t even know if she would have me back. Alice hadn‟t said anything more about Bella seeing their coworker, so I wasn‟t sure if she was shielding me from the pain that it would bring, or if she really didn‟t know anything. I couldn‟t bring myself to ask because I honestly didn‟t want to know. I had switched my work schedule around to spend more time with my children. I‟d go in the early morning hours

to work, so Alice would get the kids up and to Emmett‟s house before she went into work. By noon, I would pick them up and we would usually do different family things that I had put off due to my work schedule. Work was so much easier to drown in and forget about the past. At least now I recognized it for what it was…avoidance. We were going to therapy twice a week with the added family session and things were running smoothly. Liz spent a lot more time with Rose and the girls since Alice was busy with wedding planning, and Liz craved the girl time. Since baseball season was over, I took Anthony out twice a week and taught him how to surf. It was something that he had been begging me to do for awhile and I missed being out on the swells. He was getting really good and pretty soon, he would be showing me up. I was just getting off work when my cell phone signaled that Alice was calling. “Hey, baby sister,” I said with a small smile. “Hey. Are you getting off work?” Alice asked. “Getting in my car now.” “Come have lunch with me and Jasper? We haven‟t spent very much time together since the wedding is sucking up every free minute I have,” she complained. I had to agree with her; between my work schedule and all of her preparations for the wedding, we only spent a few minutes together every week. “Yeah, sure. That sounds good. Do you want me to pick you up at work?” “No!” she said, a little too quickly. “I have some things to do first. Just meet me at Paradiso. I can walk, it‟s only a couple of blocks and the traffic is horrible today.” I felt a little thwarted that she didn‟t want me to pick her up. I had a better chance of seeing Bella if I went inside to get her, so I was pretty disappointed when she declined. “If you‟re sure,” I said, giving her an opportunity to change her mind. “I‟m sure. I‟ll call Rose and let her know that you‟ll be by to get the kids a little later. I‟ll see you in about thirty minutes.” We hung up and I was completely confused by her strange behavior. She had been acting weird lately, so I chalked it up to wedding nerves, but her outburst on the phone seemed like there might be something else going on. I‟d kill Jasper if he had done anything to upset her. I arrived at the restaurant ten minutes early to find Jasper standing at the hostess station. He gave me a small smile in greeting that didn‟t reach his eyes. My suspicions that something was going on with Alice where increased with his cordial hello. “What‟s up, Jasper?” I asked, cutting straight to the heart of the matter. “Why would you think something is up?” he looked around nervously, and then back at me. “Because you're acting weird and I feel like you really don‟t want me here. Is everything okay with Alice?” His nervous laugh didn‟t calm my fears. “Everything is fine with Alice. I was just thinking that it might be a good idea if we had lunch somewhere else. I

need to get a break from this place.” “Is everything going okay with the restaurant?” I asked, slightly relieved that he was probably just over worked. “Yes, everything is great. I just…” We both heard a tinkling laugh come from the dining area that made my heart stop momentarily and Jasper to stammer slightly. “I just think we, or I mean I, would rather get my mind off of work and I can‟t do that if I‟m sitting in the middle of-” I cut him off by waving my hand at him to be quiet. He snapped his mouth shut, and I strained to listen for the sound again. I started to think that I was hallucinating, that I had imagined her musical laugh, when I heard it again. I pushed past Jasper, only to have him grab a hold of my arm. “Edward, don‟t make a fool of yourself,” Jasper warned. I was past caring. I had to see her again. It had been four long weeks. I shook his grasp off and walked into the dining room. She was easy to spot with her mahogany hair spilling down over her back. I felt my breath catch in my throat when I saw that she was sitting with another man. This must be the tech guy. I stood back and watched for a moment. The man that she was with was smiling and telling her something that made her shoulders shake in amusement. This was so much worse than seeing her with Jake. I knew deep down that she loathed Jake for what he did to her. She would never go back to him, but this…this was different. What if she really liked this guy? What if she really had moved on, and it was all because I had let her go? My anger at myself increased as I watched this guy move in on what should be mine. He reached out, patting her hand that rested on the table and I had only one thought. Mine I walked quickly over to their table, as her date looked up at me in surprise. I sneered at him and then looked at my angel, who was laughing so hard that she hadn‟t heard me come up. “Bella?” I all but growled. Her date looked at me with a raised eyebrow, but I ignored him. Bella‟s laughter cut off in mid chuckle and her eyes snapped to my face. She looked slightly shocked and I felt a wave of possessiveness run through me. “Edward? What are you doing here?” “Can I speak to you?” I looked over at her date, “in private?” “Oh..um…Edward, this is Ben,” she introduced. My eyes were focused only on her, not wanting to acknowledge the pest that was sitting across from her. When I didn‟t say anything, she gave me a hard glare. I was too pissed off to care. Her eyes narrowed when I didn‟t say anything, and then she looked apologetically over at her date. I reached down, grabbing her hand and hauling her out of her seat. She let out a little squeak, before I pulled her towards the hallway to the restrooms. “Edward, what are you doing?” she hissed. I continued to pull her behind me, not trusting myself to say anything until I had her completely out of ear shot of her date. She tried half heartedly to pull her hand free, but I didn‟t release it. When we were in the privacy of the hallway, I spun around, causing her to stumble against the wall. “Who is Ben?” I demanded. She glared at me for a moment before her features changed to understanding, and then she narrowed her eyes at me. “He‟s a friend. Why?” she asked. Her posture told me that I was one step away from getting my ass handed to me,

but I didn‟t care. “Just a friend?” I demanded. “Why does it matter?” “Just answer me, Bella,” I growled. “No, I won‟t answer. It‟s none of your damn business and I don‟t appreciate being dragged away fro-” I couldn‟t help it. I kissed her. My lips crashed down on hers and I pressed her against the wall with my body. Every part of me screamed to make her mine. To tell the world that she was mine and no one else‟s. My hands went into her hair and I moaned out loud when she started kissing me back. Her tongue slid in between my lips and battled with mine for dominance. I wasn‟t going to let her go again The need I had for this woman had only increased over the weeks of separation. I felt her tugging on my hair, but not to pull me away, instead to get closer. There was a part of my brain where warning bells were going off in the background. I knew I needed to stop, but it felt too damn good to have her in my arms again. I heard her whimper underneath me and I pulled away. Our foreheads were pressed together as we both gasped for breath. The enormity of my actions fell on me like a ton of bricks. This wasn‟t the way I had wanted to do this. I groaned before shoving away from her and raking my hands through my hair. “Edward?” her voice sounded confused and almost hurt. “I‟m sorry, Bella. I shouldn‟t…I…I‟m sorry I interrupted your date,” I said quickly before turning and briskly walking away. I walked past her table, but couldn‟t look at the man that was currently in the only place that I longed to be. As I reached the lobby, Alice and Jasper looked up at me. Jasper was frantically talking, but abruptly stopped when he saw me. Alice gave me a sympathetic smile, but I couldn‟t deal with her pitying looks. I shook my head and walked out the door. I almost ran into a small brunette woman when I opened the door too quickly. I apologized and then made my way to my car. Once I was in the sanctuary of the Volvo, I let the ranting begin. What the hell was that? I completely lost it the second I saw her. I‟ve never felt that possessive of anything or anyone like I felt just minutes ago. What have I done? Did I just screw everything up? All of my perfectly laid out plans were ruined by one moment of complete and overwhelming jealousy. I pressed my forehead against the steering wheel and started the car. But she kissed me back. I had a crushing surge of elation shoot through my body. She kissed me back. I couldn‟t wipe the smile off my face for the rest of the afternoon. I knew I was a brute and probably could have made things a lot worse, but the thought of her responding to me pleased me immensely. Even though she broke things off, I knew now, that she wanted me as much as I wanted her and that gave me the hope that I had been lacking with our separation. “Dad?” Anthony asked with a big goofy grin on his face. “What are you thinking about? You‟ve been smiling all day.” “Bella,” I answered truthfully. Anthony smiled wider.

“She makes me smile too,” he whispered. “Edward!” Alice‟s voice rang out through the house, causing me to cringe. She sounded angry. I looked down at Anthony and his eyes were wide, recognizing the tone in his aunt‟s voice. “I think it might be best if you go up to your room for a little while,” I said to Anthony. He nodded and gave me a concerned look. “Don‟t let her see fear,” he whispered. I laughed out loud as I shooed him up the stairs, wondering where he heard that phrase before. “Edward Anthony Cullen! What the hell is wrong with you?” Alice stomped over to me. Her hands were firmly on her hips and her toe was tapping impatiently. “What do you mean?” I asked innocently. I knew she was referring to Bella, but I couldn‟t feel bad about the way things played out. “Don‟t you play coy with me. What did you do to Bella?” she demanded. “Do to Bella?” “Yes, damn it! She left right after you, and she was in tears,” she seethed. My earlier jubilance over our kiss was immediately replaced with concern. “She was crying?” I clarified. “Yes,” she sighed in exasperation. “What did you do?” “Um…I…I kissed her,” I admitted. “You what?” Alice shook her head in disbelief. “You don‟t talk to her for a month and then you see her and just kiss her. What the hell is wrong with you?” “I don‟t know. She was with her date and I-” “Wait? What?” Alice asked, as her eyes widened in understanding. “She was with some guy and I just wanted to talk to her, but she got pissed at me and I ended up kissing her,” I sighed. Alice‟s shoulders started to shake and her hand flew up to her mouth. Small chuckles escaped her lips until she was in a complete laughing fit. I gave her a confused look, waiting for her to explain her outburst. “You were jealous!” she giggled out, in between breaths. I rolled my eyes, but nodded my head. “Yes, I recognize that. But what‟s so damn funny?” “She wasn‟t on a date. Ben is dating Angela. They were meeting her for lunch.” Alice looked at me with a huge grin on her face as my mind reeled at what she had just said. “What?” “You heard me. Bella isn‟t dating Ben,” Alice stated again.

“But you said…” “I didn‟t know,” she cut me off. “Angela explained it all to me after Bella left. Ben thought Angela was Bella when he asked her out.” A huge relief washed over me. She wasn‟t dating anyone. Then, I groaned. For the first time since I left the restaurant, I looked at Bella‟s reaction. Not just her reaction to the kiss, but her reaction to the whole encounter. Bella jumped to the defensive when I asked her about Ben. She had to have known that I assumed that Ben was her date, but she refused to correct me. She stood her ground. Then I remembered her comments about Jake and his controlling behavior. Damn! I acted like a Neanderthal. “Did Bella say anything to you?” I asked. Alice shook her head. “No, she left minutes after you did, and then she didn‟t come back to work.” “Damn,” I muttered. She had to have been pretty upset to miss work. “So, what are you going to do?” Alice asked. “I don‟t know.” “I‟m tired of this. Get your ass in your car and go to her. She‟s lonely. She got a phone call from Seth this morning that upset her,” she said, trying to convince me to go to her. My heart twisted painfully at the thought of Bella being alone. At least I had my kids and Alice around to ease the monotony of every day life. But I couldn‟t do it. I was a coward. “Alice, I can‟t,” I whispered. “You are so stupid sometimes,” she growled at me. “Liz is better. She told me the other day that she wishes Bella was still around, and Anthony is broken hearted without Bella. This isn‟t just affecting you anymore.” “I know. I was thinking that when Seth came back, we could do something together, all of us.” Alice rolled her eyes at my comments. “That‟s two weeks away. At least call her,” Alice pleaded. “Yeah, I should do that,” I agreed. Alice‟s demeanor changed immediately and she bounced happily where she stood. “You need to apologize for being a jerk, and then tell her that you love her, and then-” I covered Alice‟s mouth with my hand, halting the pushy little pixie before she got out of control. “I will apologize, but I think everything else needs to be left alone until I feel that Liz is ready to bring Bella back in our lives. I don‟t want to push things and have everything go back to the way it was. Bella deserves better,” I said quietly, releasing Alice‟s mouth. She smiled up at me and nodded her head. “It‟s a start, now get on it,” she said, shoving me towards my room. I flopped down on my bed and stared at my phone. Quickly, before I lost my nerve, I dialed her number. “Hello?”

“Bella?” I said nervously, proud that my voice didn‟t crack. “Edward?” “Yeah, it‟s me,” I whispered sheepishly. There was an uncomfortable silence on the other end of the line. “I called to apologize for my behavior at the restaurant,” I blurted out. “You already apologized,” she whispered, and I thought I heard a small sniff. “Bella, it‟ll never be enough. I‟m so sorry. I just couldn‟t stand…” I cut myself off. Did I really want to admit to being so jealous that I lost all common sense? “Couldn‟t stand what?” she asked. I internally groaned, knowing that I couldn‟t avoid her question. “I couldn‟t stand the thought of you seeing anyone else,” I admitted. “I‟m sorry. I don‟t have any right to-” “It wasn‟t a date,” Bella stated. “Yeah,” I whispered. “I realized that when Alice got home and explained.” “Ben is just a friend. He‟s dating Angela. I wasn‟t on a date with him,” she said quietly. The silence descended again and I didn‟t know what to say. “Have you heard from Seth?” I asked, changing the subject and hoping that she would open up to me if she wasn‟t doing well. I heard a long sigh, but waited patiently for her to decide if she wanted to talk to me. “Yeah, he called this morning,” she whispered. “Is everything okay?” “No, it‟s not,” she said, almost sarcastically. “He hates being there. Mommy dearest is trying to take over my old life, Jake isn‟t home, and Seth misses me, you and Tony. Everything is peachy.” Even though she was irritated, I had to smile at her response. “I thought Mama Bear was in hibernation,” I teased. She chuckled lightly, and the tension completely melted away. “Yeah, I‟m sorry. I just talked to Jake, so that‟s why I‟m so ticked. He‟s finally taking time off to be with Seth. It‟s only been four weeks wasted,” she grumbled. “I was extremely close to flying up there and bringing Seth home early.” She took in a long breath and I could hear her voice quiver from all of the emotions she was dealing with. I knew this was going to be hard for her, but hearing her, almost to the point of breaking, was too much. I should have been there for her. “Bella, do you want to come over?” I asked, hoping that she would say yes. The line was quiet, and I had a moment where I thought she might say yes. “I don‟t think that would be a good idea,” she finally said, but I thought I heard a touch of regret in her voice. “I promise I‟ll be good,” I teased. She muffled a giggle and I smiled.

“I don‟t know that I want you to be good.” I sucked in a breath at her admission. She was flirting with me. The thought sent my mind racing into dangerous territory. “Bella,” I hummed. “I know that this is asking a lot, but…Well, what I mean is, can you…no, will you…” I let out a long sigh in frustration. “Edward, please. Tell me,” she whispered. I couldn‟t tell her everything I wanted to over the phone, so I worked up the nerve and asked the only thing that I hoped she would consider. “Will you wait? For me?” I whispered. “Just for a little while. Liz is getting so much better, and, well…I just thought that maybe we could go on a date, or something,” I said quickly. Holding my breath, I waited for her to say something. “I don‟t know what to say,” she said quietly. “I don‟t want you to rush anything with Elizabeth.” “I don‟t plan to, I just thought that maybe…” my voice trailed off. Bella let out a long sigh. “Honestly, I don‟t have a desire to date right now,” she said. I didn‟t know how to feel about her admission. Did she mean dating anyone else, or was I included in that as well? “Oh,” I said lamely. The awkward silence settled on our conversation once more. “Well, I should probably let you go. If you want to talk or need anything, just call, okay?” “Okay,” she whispered. I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting to end our phone call. “Goodnight, Love,” I whispered. She paused for a moment, and I wondered if I had stepped over the line again when I heard her soft voice. “Goodnight, Edward.” I hung up the phone and laid in my bed thinking about our conversation. Silently, I thanked Alice for her pushy ways. I would have left everything unsaid, yet again, avoiding the hard conversations. Now, there was some hope. Hope that things would work out. Hope that Bella would be mine again. Hope was all I really had.

~*~

Chapter 37 Feast of Lanterns Bella Swan-Black Seth was finally coming home and I couldn‟t have been more thrilled. All week, I had fluttered around his room, washing his sheets, straightening up his toys and I even found myself missing his pets. I think Buddy was more excited than I was at Seth‟s impending arrival. It always amazed me how he could just sense what was going on. My excitement turned up his puppy senses and made him even more hyper than he usually was.

Jake had taken his vacation time and spent the remaining two weeks with Seth. The next time Seth called me, he was a completely different child. He was having a great time with his father and actually asked if he could stay longer. Thankfully, Jake had bought non-refundable tickets, I don‟t think I could have handled being away from him any longer. A part of me was happy that he was enjoying his time in Washington, while another part of me was sad that he wasn‟t missing me like I missed him. I had four more hours before I could pick Seth up from the airport. He assured me over and over again that he was a big boy, and could fly all by himself. It was a straight flight from Seattle to Monterey, so I agreed, but I was still extremely nervous. The airlines allowed Jake to be with him up until he boarded the plane, so he would only be without one of us for the duration of the flight. They would also tag him with a little sign, stating that he was a minor flying alone, and the flight attendants would see to any needs he had. This gave me some comfort, but I wouldn‟t be fully relieved until I saw his sweet little face. As I passed Jasper‟s restaurant on the way to work, I was reminded of the day two weeks ago when Edward kissed me. I was confused by his aggressive behavior when he dragged me towards the restrooms, then demanded to know who Ben was. At the time, I was furious he was being so rude. His actions towards Jake and then towards Ben showed a side of him that I had never seen before. But then he kissed me, and I forgot completely about his past transgressions. I wanted him. My body instantly reacted and I fell into his familiar embrace. I could still feel his lips on mine. His taste, his smell, all of it reminded me of the passion that we had once shared. When he pulled away, apologizing, and then leaving me standing alone, it was another reminder of what it felt like to lose him. My tears came hard and fast, and it took everything I had to make it out to my car before I made a complete fool of myself. Angela was understanding, and picked up the slack at work so I could take the rest of the day off. I spent the remainder of the afternoon pondering how I was ever going to get over Edward. About half way through my thought process, I remembered Alice. She had asked me to lunch, yet she was with Edward at the restaurant. I realized then that she was trying to get us together, or at the very least, to rekindle our friendship. I loved and hated her for it. There were little things that she would say or do since our breakup, which I now recognized as trying to get us together, but my self imposed isolation always prevented her from gaining any ground. And then he called. There were a few awkward moments, but for the most part we fell back into the comfortable conversation that I remembered. I couldn‟t help flirting with him. I scolded myself the second the words were out of my mouth, but I couldn‟t be upset at the outcome. He wanted me to wait for him. I wanted, so badly, to tell him that I couldn‟t see myself with anyone except him, but instead I left my answer vague. His focus still needed to be one hundred percent on Liz and Tony and until Liz was ready to accept someone else into their family, then there would be no point in putting myself or Seth back in harm's way. Seth I was doing a happy dance in my head as I parked my car and ran into the aquarium. Soon, my baby would be home. I remembered thinking; back when Jake and I had originally made the arrangements of visitation, that I would have some time to myself, maybe take up a hobby. Little did I know how hard it really would be. I plopped down in my office chair and got to work. I had been working so much overtime that management was more than happy to give me time off. I‟d be leaving in a couple of hours to pick up Seth, and then I didn‟t need to be back at work for a little over a week. I was deep into my weekly paperwork when I heard a knock on my door. Alice poked her head in with a huge smile and I waved her in. Surprisingly, Liz walked in behind her.

“Hello Alice, Liz,” I greeted with a smile. “What are you two up to today?” “Liz came in to do the morning rounds with Angela,” Alice answered. The morning rounds were a program where anyone could come in and see how the aquarium operated. Angela and I took turns giving the tour, along with several other biologists and volunteers. “That should be fun. Angela has a fun way of feeding the penguins that I‟m sure you‟ll love,” I said, smiling at Liz. She looked down at her feet and nodded her head. I wasn‟t sure if she was being shy, or if she didn‟t want to be here. “Actually, I need to catch up on some paperwork and Ang won‟t start for another half hour. So, Liz has been asking about the white shark and I thought „who better to show her than you‟?” Alice said, with a big smile. “Sure, I‟d love to give you the scoop on her,” I said, smiling at Liz. Elizabeth finally looked up at me with a small smile and I realized she was just being shy. Alice gave Liz a small hug as she bounced out of my office, leaving the two of us alone. “So, did you have specific questions about her?” I asked. “Not really,” Liz looked down at her shoes again. “Maybe you can just tell me what you want.” I chuckled, and she looked up at me with a questioning smile. “That could take awhile because I love to talk about her,” I said. I took her hand and led her to the observation room where we watched her swim back and forth. Then, I told Liz about her feeding habits and what kind of environment she preferred. We talked about how hard it was to transition her to captivity and some of the problems we were having with her. We also talked about her impending release. “Does that mean that you won‟t have a job after they let her go?” Liz asked. I thought I saw a hint of sadness in her question, but for the life of me, I couldn‟t understand why. “No, actually, we are hoping to get another white shark, so they wanted someone with experience. I‟ll have a job here as long as white sharks are in existence,” I said with a smile. Elizabeth gave me a heartwarming smile and even though I knew she looked like her mother, I saw Edward in her smile. This was genuine. She wasn‟t putting on an act to be nice. She really wanted to be here. The realization almost knocked me backwards. “I‟m glad,” she whispered. I smiled and gave her arm a small squeeze to let her know that I appreciated her comment. “Bella?” “Yes, Liz.” “I wanted to say I‟m sorry,” she whispered, looking down at her shoes again. She looked so dejected that I wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell her that I understood. “I shouldn‟t have been so mean to you. Daddy told me that you just wanted to be my friend, but I wouldn‟t listen to him.” I saw a small tear run down her cheek before she quickly wiped it away. Her head came up and she looked pleadingly at me. “I didn‟t really mean all of those things I said.” I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes. This is what I had been waiting to hear. I kneeled down in front of her. Her eyes locked on mine, a tear slowly sliding down my cheek as I held out my arms to her. She launched herself into my arms, a sob escaping her lips as I wrapped my arms around her small

body and held her while she cried. My mind reeled as I thought about how far she had come. For the first time in the last two months, I felt positive that the decision I had made to leave was the right one. I held her until she pulled away and looked up into my eyes. “Now you need to talk to Daddy. He misses you,” she said with a determined tone. What was I supposed to say to her? I had an idea of what Edward wanted from his question over the phone, asking me to wait for him, but was Liz really ready to have me and Seth back in their lives? “I talk to your father all the time,” I said, hoping that my answer would placate her. She nodded at me with a remorseful look in her eye. “Tony misses you too…and…so do I,” she admitted in a whisper. I tried to not have any ill feelings towards Liz, because I recognized that her feelings towards me had been natural. They were a product of her environment and circumstances. However, I never tried to get close to her either, probably out of fear that I would make things worse. But now, now I felt that twinge of protectiveness that I feel for Seth and Anthony. I could see more clearly that she was just a little girl, hurting over her mother and lost with how to deal with her feelings. Here she stood, completely repentant of the way that she treated me, and I found that I loved her just as much as I did Anthony. I wanted to weep with joy over her admission and acceptance of me. I took her in my arms again and hugged her. She wrapped her hands around my neck and clung to me as well. I heard a small cough and looked up to see Alice with a big grin on her face. “Angela is about to start the morning rounds. Are you ready?” Liz nodded her head against my chest before pulling away and looking up at me. I leaned down so that my lips were next to her ear. “Thank you. You were very brave to apologize and I very much appreciate it,” I whispered so only Liz could hear me. She nodded and then turned to kiss my cheek before she walked over to Alice and took her hand. “Will we see you later, Bella?” Liz asked, as she turned to look at me one last time before leaving. I nodded my head and looked up at Alice. “I‟m going to pick up Seth in an hour or so and I wanted to take him back to the park. Do you think that you and Liz would like to go?” “Actually, after we leave here, I was going to pick up Tony from Emmett‟s, so how about we meet you there?” “Seth would love that.” I followed Elizabeth and Alice out into the hallway and towards my office. I couldn‟t believe the changes in Elizabeth. When Edward had said she was getting better, I wasn‟t expecting her to be that far along. It showed an immense amount of courage for her to apologize, but what struck me so hard was the sincerity behind it. She really meant what she said. It wasn‟t one of those forced apologies that you get when you put two children together and tell them to make things better. This was heartfelt and completely honest. My only concern was if she would feel the same way if Edward and I did get back together. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO I had to tell myself over and over again that speeding to the airport was not going to make Seth‟s flight land any sooner. I had called the airlines twice to make sure that his flight wasn‟t going to arrive early, because I wanted to be there when Seth got off of the plane. When I saw him step off of the plane and walk across the tarmac, I felt whole again. I knew I missed him terribly,

but when the ache in my chest subsided, I realized that I was a lot worse off than I thought. The next time he left would be so much harder. He hadn‟t seen me yet, as he adjusted his backpack and walked towards the terminal. I cursed the glass partition that I had to stand behind that separated me from my baby. As soon as he walked through the gate, I swept him up in my arms. He squealed in surprise as I peppered his face with kisses, earning a giggle out of him. “I missed you so much!” I said, in between kisses. I was expecting him to push me away at any moment, but instead he clung to my neck and kissed my cheek. “I missed you too, mama,” he whispered. I squeezed him one last time before setting him down so we could retrieve his bags. He bounced all the way to the car when I told him that we were going to the park and that Tony and Liz were going to meet us there. He chattered all the way to the park, telling me about how much fun he had with his father and Charlie. He didn‟t bring up Leah and my curiosity was killing me. However, if he didn‟t bring her up, then neither would I. When we got to the park, I looked around and didn‟t see Alice‟s car, so we went in and Seth immediately went to the train. He climbed as high as he could, so that he could look out over the parking lot until Tony arrived. I found a cool spot under a tree and watched him as he waited for his friend. I knew the second Tony arrived because Seth jumped down from his perch, almost giving me a heart attack in the process, and then ran to the entrance of the park. I watched as Tony tackled Seth at a dead run, causing them both to land hard in the sand, giggling the whole time. The boys jumped up and tore into the park, heading for the slides with Liz right on their heels. Alice came over to me and plopped down, leaning her back against the tree. “Liz told me she apologized,” she said happily. Her face radiated the happiness that I felt and I couldn‟t help but smile. “Yeah, she did. It was really sweet,” I confirmed. “Edward said that she really has come into a full circle with the therapy.” “Yeah, last time I talked to him, he said she was doing better. I just didn‟t realize how much better she was actually doing,” I admitted, picking at the grass between my legs. “So, what do you have planned while you‟re off this week?” Alice asked. I looked up at her and shrugged lightly. “I promised Seth that we would go to the Feast of Lanterns tomorrow. But the rest of the week, I just want to spend with my baby.” “Did you get the invitation to my bridal shower in two weeks? Well…really, it‟s a tame bachelorette party. I told Rose that she couldn‟t go overboard.” I giggled at her comment. Edward told me about the crazy bachelorette party that Rosalie had when she married Emmett, so it didn‟t surprise me that Alice put her foot down. “Yeah, I got it yesterday. I‟d love to be there.” “Fantastic. We‟re also having a family barbecue next Friday night, my parents are coming into town and I‟d love for you to come.” Even though her tone was casual, I could tell that she was worried at asking. I thought about the prospect of seeing Edward again, but after our kiss I was wary. “I don‟t know, Alice. I think it might be awkward,” I said, feeling ill at ease and hoping that she wouldn‟t push it.

She sat silently next to me for a few moments before she spoke. “I understand. If you change your mind, I‟d love to have you.” We sat and talked about the craziness of planning the wedding, which was only a few weeks away, and about work and Jasper‟s new adventure into a local restaurant and bar that he bought in Carmel Valley. Our conversation was light and completely stayed away from Edward, but occasionally she would make comments about her love for Jasper and I would feel the pang of longing. We talked about her desire to have kids, and that she and Jasper had decided as soon as the honeymoon was over, they were going to start trying. She would make a fabulous mother with all of the experience that she had with Liz and Tony. I was happy for her and I tried to show it, even though my heart ached with need for what she had. We spent most of the afternoon together, and it felt good to have another woman to talk about things that I hadn‟t talked about in years. I didn‟t have many girl friends when I lived in La Push, and I really didn‟t know what I was missing until Alice came along. She was easy to talk to and by the end of the day, I found that I wanted to open up to her. So, I took the plunge and asked the question that had been hanging over our heads since she arrived. “How is Edward doing?” “He‟s a pain in the ass,” she deadpanned. I laughed out loud at her annoyance, until she looked at me and her expression grew serious. “He‟s miserable. Not miserable like when Tanya died, because he‟s trying harder for the kids, but he misses you.” I sucked in a breath at her admission. I figured she‟d give me the candy coated version, but after talking to her all day, I should have known that she would be honest. “I‟m sorry, I didn‟t mean to upset you, but I think you have a right to know what this is doing to him,” she said quietly. “No, don‟t apologize. I understand.” “Bella, I know you love him,” she said bluntly. I looked away, feeling the tears prickle at my eyes. She sighed loudly beside me. “It‟ll all work out, but you have to give it a chance.” “Aunt Ali!” Tony said, as he ran up and plopped down in front of us, Seth directly behind him. “Can we go to McDonald‟s?” I heard Alice groan next to me before plastering a fake smile on her face. “I‟d love to,” she said in between gritted teeth. I chuckled at her discomfort before she glared at me. “But…only if Seth and Bella come with us,” she said a little too sweetly. I gave her a hard glare before nodding at Seth and Tony. Both boys jumped up and started heading towards the car, where Liz was already waiting. We had an uneventful dinner. Well…as uneventful as you can get with two boys sticking French fries up their noses. Then Seth and I parted ways with Alice, Tony and Liz, with a promise to get the boys together sometime that week. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Buddy was thrilled to see Seth and ended up sleeping on his bed, which I normally wouldn‟t allow, but I couldn‟t say no to him. The morning came early and by ten o‟clock, we had packed up the ice chest and all of the beach gear and headed into Pacific Grove. I was surprised that most of the beach was already taken up with blankets so early in the day, but we found a cozy

spot and set up our little space in the sand. Seth spent most of the afternoon playing in the water. I loved Lover‟s Point Beach, because we were in a nook of the bay. There weren‟t large waves due to the pier and a barrier of rocks that made it safe for swimmers. He played in the water with some kids he met on the beach until his toes turned blue, and then he ended up back on the sand, sharing his sand toys with whoever wanted to play. I spent the afternoon reading an old favorite, keeping an eye on my mischievous child and vaguely listening to the entertainment on the pier. There was a belly dance group that performed and I stifled a giggle when a few of the dads surrounding me sat up and took a little more interest in the half naked girls dancing provocatively. I also enjoyed a couple of the bands that had that Beach Boys sound as they played, through the tedium of waiting for the evening to come. The day was slowly winding down and I wanted to get something warm to eat into Seth besides what I had in the cooler, so I asked one of the moms if she would watch our things while we went up to the concession stand. We still had an hour before the play would start and I couldn‟t wait for Seth to see it. Jake and I had ventured down here and caught the whole experience while I was in college and I wanted Seth to experience it too. Seth took my hand and we maneuvered around all of the people on the beach until we reached the food counter. “Mom, can I pleeeeese have a slushy?” he asked, turning up the charm and giving me his puppy dog eyes. How could I say no? “Sure, but I think I need a kiss,” I said absently. He grimaced slightly, but then reached up and pulled me down to him, pecking my cheek lightly. I had to get them when I could. I smiled when he immediately told the cashier that he wanted a red slushy. Ruffling his hair, we turned back to make our way down through the throngs of people. “Bella?” I heard my name as almost a whisper, from a velvety smooth voice that I had missed hearing over the last couple of weeks. “Seth!” There was no mistaking Anthony‟s excited voice. We both turned and saw Edward standing with Liz and Tony. My eyes raked over his body, and I couldn‟t help but think of how sexy he looked in casual clothes. He had on a pair of khaki cargo shorts that hung low off his hips, a blue polo shirt and flip flops. His hair was the same mess that looked like he just crawled out of bed and my mind went instantly to what it looked like when my fingers had been tangled in it after we had made love. I felt the heat of my blush tinge my cheeks as they walked over to us. Seth was excitedly jumping up and down in anticipation of spending time with his friend. “How are you?” Edward asked, as one of his hands went to the back of his head and he scratched nervously. I felt the same nervousness, since the last time we had actually seen each other his tongue was in my mouth. “I‟m good. Are you guys here to watch the show?” I wanted to smack my forehead with the palm of my hand. Of course they were here for that. Who else would be crazy enough to venture out into the mass of people, just to go to the beach? He chuckled. “Yeah, the kids love to watch the fireworks afterwards,” he said with a cooked grin. “Have you set up a spot yet?” I asked, hoping that they hadn‟t. “If not, you‟re more than welcome to sit with us,” I said, biting my lip. “We‟re on the boat!” Anthony squealed happily. “Dad, can Bella and Seth come with us on the boat?” Liz asked. Edward looked down at her and seemed surprised at her question before he nodded. He looked back up at me and his green eyes twinkled.

“Yes, yes, please Bella. Come with us on the boat,” Anthony begged. He and Seth both turned their pleading eyes at me. I quickly looked over at Edward and he had a crooked smirk on his face, rendering me somewhat speechless. “What do you say, Bella? Would you and Seth like to join us on the boat for the show and the fireworks?” Edward asked. I felt my heart fluttering at the mention of being on the boat with Edward. I didn't think I could ever be on a sailboat again without remembering our trip to Santa Cruz. “Yeah, that sounds like fun,” I answered, surprising myself that my voice didn‟t crack. “Yes!” Tony and Seth pumped their fists in the air triumphantly. Liz beamed up at me, and I smiled back. “Well, I was just going to get the kids something to eat, and then we can head out,” he said with a smile. We quickly ate and then Seth and I ran all of our beach gear back to the car before we were standing in front of a little dinghy that was pulled up on the beach. I looked at it apprehensively when Elizabeth, Seth and Anthony jumped into the small boat and it rocked precariously back and forth. Edward chuckled as he pushed the boat into the water. I had to take my flip flops off and wade into the colder than ice water to get into the boat. How the hell did Seth play in this water for hours? Edward took my hand to help me into the boat, and the warmth of his hand felt right in mine. He held onto my hand until I was safely situated on the seat, lingering longer than necessary. I clutched onto the sides, praying that it wouldn‟t dump us all out into the frigid water. Edward chuckled at my uneasy expression and I did the mature thing and stuck my tongue out at him for making fun of me. He smiled wider before pushing off and hopping into the dinghy effortlessly. Starting up the small motor, he slowly steered us out the sailboat. When we reached the boat, Edward stood up in the dinghy, causing me to gasp and hold on tighter. “Relax, Bella,” he said with a wink. He untied the rope ladder from the side and helped Elizabeth on board. Then he took each boy by the waist, practically tossing them onto the deck, before he turned to me. “Are you going to sit in the dinghy all night?” he asked with a raised eyebrow. I looked up at his outstretched hand and contemplated my options before grumbling about how we better not end up in the bay. Edward pulled me up slowly and held me around my waist until I was steady. His strong hands on me sent a small shiver down my spine, which didn‟t do anything for my balance. I wobbled slightly and his gripped tightened, making me feel more secure and protected. I grabbed onto the ladder and climbed quickly aboard. When I turned around, Edward was standing behind me, close enough to where I could feel his breath on my neck. Another involuntary shiver went down my spine. “Are you cold, Love? I could get you a blanket from below,” he asked, as his hands grasped my arms and rubbed up and down, trying to warm me up. The combination of his hands on me and the endearment he used, sent another warm rush through my body. “No, I‟m fine, thank you,” I whispered. The sun was starting to set and the actors and court were lining up on the pier. We had a perfect view of the pier but we were slightly farther away than we had been on the beach. The kids pulled over one of the lounge chairs and all climbed on top. Anthony looked up at me and then his father, before holding out his hand. “There‟s enough room for everyone. Come sit with us,” he said sweetly. I walked over and sat down next to him, pulling my feet up and leaning back against the back rest. Anthony curled up against me and wrapped his arm around my waist. My hands played absently with his hair, as we waited for the show to begin. I looked up at Edward, who was staring down at me with a small smile on his face. I quirked a brow in question, but he just

shook his head and took his place on the other side. Seth scooted in between Anthony and Edward, while Liz positioned herself between Edward‟s legs, leaning up against his chest. It was cozy and comfortable. As soon as the sun had set on the horizon, the sound of Asian music blared over speakers that carried it across the water. A deep voice rang out as the narrator went through the story of a young princess who fell in love with a boy that her father disapproved of. By the end of the story, they ran away together and turned into monarch butterflies. It was a sweet story and the kids enjoyed the performance. I looked over at Edward and his head was turned towards mine as he stared unabashed at me. My breath caught in my throat as our eyes held one another‟s gaze. His hand was slowly reaching towards my face when Tony cuddled closer to me, distracting us both. Edward dropped his hand, and I looked quickly down at Anthony to see him smiling up at me before he buried his face into my side again. I wrapped my arm more securely around him and then looked back at Edward. His eyes darted down to my lips, and then back up into my eyes, and I felt that familiar desire grow in the pit of my stomach. The fireworks began to light up the evening sky, while Edward and I continued to focus on one another. The kids would squeal in delight with each new explosion, but I barely heard them. All I could see was the man that I loved, staring back at me with that same adoration in his eyes. I wanted to throw myself into his arms and beg him to forgive my stupidity, for ever thinking that I could move on. Instead, we lay with our heads a foot apart on a lounge chair that we had previously made love on, with our family in our arms. I wanted this to be permanent. I wanted him forever and I always would.

~*~

Chapter 38 Family Edward Cullen “Dad?” Anthony said, as he pulled away from Bella and looked up at me. It took everything I had to turn my gaze away from Bella to my son, but when I did, I was rewarded with a happy smile. “Can Seth and Bella sail back to the harbor with us?” he asked. Seth squirmed beside me, causing me to look down at him. The Christmas lights on the boat twinkled in his eyes, while he smiled up at me with a pleading look. It was obvious that he wanted to take a ride. I looked back at Bella and she had her bottom lip pulled between her teeth, looking apprehensively at me. A small smirk played at my lips as I realized she was probably nervous about getting back on the dinghy. “It‟s up to Bella,” I said, my smile widening. “Would you like to boat back over to the harbor and then I can give you a ride to your car or would you like to get back on the dinghy?” The look that passed her face was comical and I suppressed a laugh as she shook her head furiously. “No, I think we‟ll sail over to the harbor with you.” Her face relaxed a bit in relief, while Anthony cuddled back

into her side. The fireworks had been over for several minutes, but none of us seemed to be in a hurry to get moving. We watched from the boat as the beach slowly cleared out and the line of cars drove up the hill. With all the traffic, it would have taken Seth and Bella an hour to get back to their car and out of town, anyway. I looked back at Bella and caught her watching me. She lowered her eyes quickly and I didn‟t like that she wouldn‟t look at me, when moments ago; we couldn‟t break our stare. My hand involuntarily went to her chin and pulled her face up, so she was looking at me. Her eyes caught mine and then she quickly looked down at Seth. I had forgotten that he was even sitting inbetween us, but he had a happy smile on his face, watching the scene play out. I stroked her chin with my thumb before releasing it and rested my hand on Seth‟s arm. Bella held my gaze for a long moment. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, but it didn‟t feel like the right time. It took every ounce of restraint I had to keep myself on my side of the deck chair. Our reverie was broken when we heard a small snore come from Elizabeth. We all chuckled and I sat up, lifting her gently, while I climbed out from under her. Lying her back down next to Seth, I ran below to grab a couple of blankets. When I came back up, Anthony had switched places with Bella so that she was in between him and Seth. Both boys had their heads resting on her shoulders and their arms wrapped around her waist. It was a beautiful sight, and one that I burned into my memory. I threw a small blanket over Elizabeth and then took the larger one and spread it over Bella and the boys. She sighed with content as her fingers ran slowly through their hair. I was struck with the gentleness and love that she had towards my children. Anthony had said that she told him that she loved him, and looking at them now, it was evident that she really did. I closed my eyes and said a small prayer that things would be better, that we could start fresh and hopefully, make something more lasting between us. I left them to cuddle together and went to raise the anchor and start the engine. It was going to take at least forty five minutes to motor the boat to the harbor and I was going to enjoy every second I had with Bella. I maneuvered the boat away from the rocky shore until we were in open water and set the auto pilot. Walking back over to Bella, I sat down on the edge of the chair. Apparently both boys were just as tired as Elizabeth, because they were sound asleep against Bella. When I sat down, her eyes popped open and she smiled at me. “It looks like you have your arms full,” I whispered. Her smile widened and she looked down at Seth and Tony before looking back at me. “I do and I wouldn‟t have it any other way,” she whispered back. We sat in comfortable silence, looking out at the shore and occasionally sneaking glances at one another. “Edward?” Bella whispered quietly. I looked back at her and felt a swell in my chest at my name rolling off of her lips. “Yes, Love.” I didn‟t want to contain the love I felt for her anymore. “Did Elizabeth mention her visit to the aquarium yesterday?” she asked. I thought back to yesterday and shook my head. I had to work a double shift yesterday and didn‟t get a lot of time with the kids when I got home. We had piano lessons, but Liz never mentioned her trip to the aquarium. “No. Why? Did something happen?” My heart sank at the thought that Liz may have reverted back to being nasty to Bella. “Nothing bad,” she quickly corrected. I felt myself relax when she smiled reassuringly at me. “She apologized for the way she treated me.”

I looked down at Liz who was still soundly sleeping. She had really come a long way in the last two months. I wondered if Alice put her up to the apology and made a note to myself to talk to her about it later. I smiled back at Bella. “Her therapist told me that she adores you,” I whispered. Bella looked slightly taken aback at my admission. “I know. It surprised me too. She was so awful to you that I thought she would never come around. Heidi said that Liz always did like you, but she thought that if she cared about you, then she was somehow betraying her mother.” “That makes sense,” Bella whispered. “I felt a little of that possessiveness while Seth was gone. It hurt to think that the other woman was trying to weasel her way into my child‟s heart. I‟d say that I‟m a pretty rational adult and it still pissed me off. I‟m surprised Liz handled the situations as well as she did. I just wish I could say the same for myself.” I chuckled and nudged her foot with my elbow. “What happened?” I asked. There was a low growl that came from her chest and I chuckled softly. “I take that as Mama Bear really did come out to play.” She gave me a scowl but it was immediately replaced by a small smile. She then proceeded to tell me about her talk with Seth on the phone and then her subsequent conversation with Jacob‟s girlfriend. I chuckled at her feisty jibe to Leah about Jake‟s infidelity. She was so strong. She endured six weeks without her son and put her foot down when Jake wasn‟t living up to his parental role. I loved her even more for it. As we neared the harbor, I flipped off the auto pilot and slowly made our way to the slip. After tying the boat up, I went back over to Bella to find that she had fallen asleep. The sight of her holding my son sent a twinge of longing through my chest. Having a brief thought of her lying in my bed with a little baby girl lying on her chest, I shook off the thought, and then reached down to push her hair away from her face. Her mouth was slightly open as she breathed evenly. Her lips looked so soft, and a sudden urge to feel them against mine overtook me. I took my hand and gently cupped her face, slowly running my thumb over her bottom lip. I was completely overstepping that invisible line of propriety, but couldn‟t find it in myself to care. I leaned in and kissed her lips softly. Thankfully, she didn‟t stir at all, so I sat there for several minutes just taking in her beauty. When I had enough, I gently shook her shoulder. Her eyes fluttered open and looked at me in surprise until she figured out where she was. “We‟re back at the dock,” I whispered. Bella looked down at Seth and Anthony and gently squeezed them both. “Guys, it‟s time to wake up,” she said quietly. Anthony stirred in her arms until his eyes opened and he looked up at me. However, Seth was out like a light. She tried several more times to wake him up, but he would just let out a little groan and roll over. Elizabeth rubbed her eyes as she sat up and looked around, confused with her surroundings. My kids picked up the blankets and ran them below while I closed everything and locked up. Anthony and Liz scurried over the side of the boat and waited patiently for us. I picked Seth up gently, his cheek resting on my shoulder, and then Bella and I joined the kids on the dock. I started towards the car and looked over my shoulder to see Elizabeth slip her hand into Bella‟s as they walked closely behind me. A small smile came to my mouth as I took in the scene. Bella smiled happily back at me while their arms swung as they walked down the dock. We silently drove back to Bella‟s car. I hopped out and pulled Seth, still unconscious, from the back seat, and loaded him in Bella‟s car. I chuckled when he didn‟t stir or open his eyes. “He‟s a hard sleeper,” I commented. She laughed softly, and I felt a strong desire to pull her into my arms. Her smile faltered as we stood inches apart, looking into each other‟s eyes. Bella was the one who finally broke eye

contact, looking down at her shoes. “Thank you for a nice evening. Seth and I enjoyed it very much,” she whispered. “I‟m just sorry I didn‟t think to ask earlier,” I truthfully admitted. I wanted nothing more than to spend as much time possible with her. “Maybe next time.” “Maybe,” she responded coyly. I felt the big stupid grin take over at her almost acceptance of spending time together. It wasn‟t a flat out refusal, and it gave me hope. “Goodnight, Edward,” she said. “Goodnight, Love,” I whispered. I helped her into her car and closed the door, waiting until she pulled away before climbing into my car. I followed her all the way to Carmel until she pulled down Carmel Valley Road and disappeared. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO The week was a whirlwind of activities. I had taken on a couple of double shifts at the hospital so I could take the end of the week off to spend with my parents. I didn‟t get a chance to take Anthony out surfing, so I promised him that we would go early in the morning on Friday. Anthony had a play date with Seth on Wednesday, but I was working extra hours that day so I didn‟t get a chance to see Bella. I was aching for some interaction with her, but could never come up with a suitable reason to call. We had therapy appointments on Monday and Thursday afternoon and after our sessions, we were going to pick up my parents at the airport. By the time we were heading to the airport, I was exhausted. We made our way to the terminal and watched the private jet land, with a squeal from Anthony. When my father bought the plane, he flew all of us to the Nassau for the week. I think he was trying to convince my mother that by making the extravagant purchase, they would be able to spend more time with family. I watched as my father descended off the plane in his casual golf attire. When he reached the tarmac, he held out his hand and helped my mother down the stairs. She looked as elegant as ever. Her caramel hair was tied back in a loose bun on the back of her head and she was impeccable dressed in what I‟m sure was the latest fashion; there was no doubt where Alice got her style. My father kissed her hand gently before wrapping it around his arm and leading her towards the terminal. Always the gentleman. As they approached, I noticed that the gray in my father‟s hair was starting to completely take over, giving him more of a distinguished look, while my mother still looked like she was in her late thirties. Anthony was bouncing up and down beside me, waiting impatiently for the opportunity to tackle both of them. When they came around the glass window, my mother smiled at us and released Carlisle‟s hand before holding out her arms to Anthony. He ran to her, throwing himself into her arms. Esme‟s laughter floated over to us. “I missed you so much, Nana!” Tony squealed as he kissed her cheek. Elizabeth had run over to Carlisle and he bent down to swing her into his arms. I chuckled at the happiness their visit had brought my kids. My mother released Tony and came over to me, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me into a hug. “I missed you and the kids so much,” she whispered fiercely. Pulling back, she gave me the once over and then smiled. “You look good, sweetheart,” she whispered, squeezing my hand. She always worried about me since Tanya died and I could see that same worry trying to make an appearance.

“I‟m very good, mom,” I said with a smile. I turned to my father and he took me into a one armed hug, patting my back quickly. When he pulled back he smirked at me, staring at my unruly hair. “Um…Are those a few gray hairs I see poking out of that bronze mess?” he teased. I chuckled. This was our running joke when he first started seeing gray pop up in his own hair. I shook my head. “Not on your life, old man. There won‟t be one gray hair on my head until there isn‟t one blond one on yours,” I laughed. He chuckled and then swung Elizabeth up onto his hip. She clung to his neck as we made our way out to the car. The luggage was loaded into the back and I shook my head at how much my mother packed. Luckily it all fit. Anthony and Liz rattled off everything that had happened in the last six months, since they had seen them. Occasionally Liz and Anthony would bring up Seth and Bella and I would catch my mother eyeing me with a raised brow. I groaned internally; this wasn‟t going to be pretty. “Now explain to me who Seth and Bella are again?” my mother asked Tony. I held my breath waiting to hear how bad this was going to get. “Seth is my best friend and he plays baseball and we were in the same class and I hope we are in the same class next year,” Anthony said, straying from the subject. I took that moment to deflect the inquiry about Bella before this got uncomfortable. “We‟ll talk to the school and see if we can get you guys in the same class,” I said quickly. “So, mom, how was Italy?” I asked, changing the subject. She gave me a knowing look and I swallowed hard. “Italy was beautiful as usual. Uncle Aro was a bit disappointed that you couldn‟t make it,” she said. Quickly, she turned back to Tony, and I knew that she wasn‟t going to be that easily deterred. “So is this Bella, Seth‟s mother?” she asked. Anthony and Liz nodded. “Yep, and she‟s great. Liz didn‟t like her very much at first, but…OUCH!” Anthony squealed. I looked in my rear view mirror to see Anthony glaring at Elizabeth. “Don‟t pinch me. You didn‟t like her at first,” he defended. I gave Liz a stern look and she immediately apologized to Tony. I glanced over at my mother and she looked perplexed. “Why didn‟t you like Bella?” my mother asked Elizabeth. I looked at Liz, wondering if she had gotten to the point where she would want to talk about it. Liz let out a long sigh and surprised me when she started recounting the past several months. If I wasn‟t so wrapped up in listening to Liz, and her feelings about Bella, I would have noticed the smug smile on Esme‟s face. “So, she was really being nice to me, but I didn‟t want a new mommy. Heidi said that daddy shouldn‟t have to be alone and all I want is for him to be happy. I told Bella I was sorry,” she ended in a whisper and her head down. I was proud of the way Liz recounted the drama in our lives. She didn‟t place blame on anyone else and I realized at that moment that she really was ready to have Bella back in our lives. My mind raced at what I needed to do. I just hoped that Bella saw the same things that I had seen in Elizabeth. “Ahem,” my mother‟s dainty clearing of her throat brought me out of my daydream. I looked over at her and her smile was so genuine that I couldn‟t help smiling back, even if I knew I was going to get the third degree later. “We will talk more at dinner,” she said, leaving no room for argument. I nodded curtly, knowing that there was no way around it; she was more persistent then Alice.

I pulled into Quail Lodge and helped my mother out of the car. She patted my cheek in appreciation before disappearing into the lobby. My father and I pulled the luggage out of the trunk as a bellboy loaded it onto a cart. My dad slapped me on the back with a huge grin. “She‟s not going to let up until she knows everything,” he warned with a chuckle. I groaned loudly. “I know, but there‟s not much to tell right now. Liz gave the abridged version, but as of right now we aren‟t together,” I said. He nodded slowly. “I‟ll try to keep your mother from going overboard,” he said as he started towards the lobby. “Bye papa!” Anthony and Liz said, leaning out the window. My father turned around and waved, blowing kisses at Elizabeth before disappearing into the lodge. I climbed into my car and went straight home to find Alice cleaning everything she could get her hands on. “Calm down, Alice,” I chided as she bounced from each room in a manic frenzy. She poked her head out of the linen closet and sneered at me. “Do you seriously want your mother to see the dust that has accumulated on top of the fridge?” she asked. I chuckled and shrugged my shoulders. “She‟s not tall enough to see up there anyway,” I retorted. Alice scoffed as she pushed past me mumbling something about stupid brothers. I laughed but decided that it would be best to help her past her anxiety by cleaning the top of the fridge. I came into the kitchen and she was climbing on top of the counter. I snuck up on her and grabbed her quickly off of the counter, receiving a scream as she clung to me. I laughed heartily while she pounded on my chest. “What is wrong with you!” she screeched. I set her down on the ground and yanked the rag out of her hand, then proceeded to wipe down the top of the refrigerator. “Nothing‟s the matter. I just thought I‟d help and relieve some of your stress. I don‟t know why you worry so much. Mom doesn‟t really care about dust,” I said handing her the rag when I was finished. Alice huffed and folded her arms across her chest. “I know, I just want everything to be perfect,” she said. “Alice, I wanted to ask you a question about Liz.” “Shoot,” she said, before turning around and wiping off the counters. “Bella said that she apologized and Liz mentioned it today in the car,” I said. Her hand stopped moving across the counter and she slowly turned towards me. “Yes, she did it last week when I took her to the morning rounds at the aquarium,” she confirmed. “Did you put her up to it?” I asked. Alice looked slightly surprised at my question, then shook her head. “No, she did that all on her own. I had some work to finish and I asked Bella if she would show Liz the white shark. When I came back to get her, Liz was hugging Bella and they both were on the verge of tears. I wouldn‟t push her to do something that she wasn‟t ready for.”

I nodded as Liz and Bella‟s words rang in my head, and from everything I had gathered, Elizabeth really was ready. I felt a surge of elation run through me and I grabbed Alice and quickly planted a kiss on her forehead before letting her go. “What was that all about?” she said with a laugh. “Liz is ready,” was all I said, as I sprinted up to my room to get ready for dinner. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Elizabeth, Anthony and I arrived at the restaurant fifteen minutes late because I decided at the last minute that I had better butter up my mother a bit before she started in on the third degree. We stopped at the local flower shop in Pacific Grove and grabbed a bundle of flowers before making our way to the Old Bath House restaurant on Lover‟s Point. The restaurant overlooked the bay and had a beautiful view of the setting sun. It was definitely not a kid friendly restaurant; it was more upscale than I had taken the kids to before. However, my mother liked the finer things in life and so we went where she wanted to go. Thankfully, my children and Emmett‟s were well behaved. I wish I could say the same for Emmett. I smiled to myself as we were led to a table in the back where the whole family was already seated. Liz and Anthony went over to sit with their cousins while I was left the seat directly in between my mother and Alice. Not a good sign. They were definitely going to gang up on me. I walked over and kissed Esme‟s cheek as I handed her the flowers. She smiled lovingly up at me and I had those familiar feelings of guilt. My mother was always supportive and loving and I was making her out to be a drill sergeant. Yes, she was pushy at times when she wanted information, but she always had the best interest of her children at heart. I also knew that she had been extremely worried about me and my children over the last three years. She spent a good amount of time flying back and forth from Alaska that first year after Tanya died, and if it wasn‟t for her persistence, I would have been a lot worse off than I was. “So Edward?” Rose began. “We were just talking about Bella.” Leave it to Rose to cut straight to the topic that they were all dying to know about. “About what?” I asked, taking a long drink from the wine glass that was set in front of me. “We were telling mom that you seemed to have had a fun trip to Santa Cruz with her a few months back.” I almost shot wine out my nose at her lack of subtlety. Alice giggled beside me, while Esme patted my back until I stopped choking. I glared back at Rose and she just smirked at me, waiting for a response. Emmett was holding back his laughter, so I shot a glare at him, too. “What?” Emmett defended. “She‟s hot, bro. No need to feel embarrassed by tapping that.” I groaned and buried my head in my hands as I heard Esme scold Emmett for his lack of discretion. Thankfully, the kids were talking happily at the end of the table, not paying any attention to the adults, or at least most of us were adults. “Bella is really a very nice girl, mom,” Alice said. “She‟s a marine biologist at the aquarium and her son is absolutely adorable.” Alice prattled on about all of Bella‟s good points as I tried to put some of the embarrassment that Emmett had inflicted behind me. “So Edward, do you really like this woman?” my mother asked. All eyes were trained on me as I looked around at each adult at the table. I took a deep breath, trying to decide what sort of reaction my answer would elicit from my mother. I realized that honesty was probably the only way to go, since Alice would probably throw me under a

bus if I tried to avoid the question. “Yes, I like her a lot,” I whispered. I looked up at my mother to see her beaming with joy. “Awwwww, ain‟t that so damn sweet,” Emmett teased, earning a smack from his wife and a glare from Esme and Alice. My mother turned back to me and squeezed my hand in reassurance. “Then you'll have to invite her over for dinner, so we can meet her,” she stated simply. “It‟s a lot more complicated than that. We haven‟t been seeing each other for a couple of months, so I‟m not sure she would accept an invitation.” “Nonsense,” Esme said confidently. “Of course she‟ll come. You love her,” she stated simply, as if love was the answer to everything that plagued the world. Was I really that transparent? Of course I was. The mere mention of Bella‟s name made me flush and excited. As perceptive as my mother was, it didn‟t surprise me that that she picked up on it. Then again, it could have just been my blabbermouth sister that told her. The rest of the dinner conversation revolved around the traveling that my parents had done over the summer and what they planned on doing after the wedding. According to my mother, they were going to rent a bungalow for the next several months at Quail Lodge, enjoying the wonderful early fall whether in Carmel. I missed my parents, so it was going to be nice to spend more time with them over the next few months. My father was retired from a career in medicine. He loved his work and only did it for the benefit of others. Money was never an issue, since his family left him enough money to run a small country. He spent the last few years of his career opening free clinics that he personally financed throughout the western United States. I was proud of his accomplishments and loved to sit and talk with him for hours about new breakthroughs in medicine. My mother was always a mother. She got pregnant with Emmett when they were still in college. She always joked that my maternal grandfather had to pay off my father to take her off his hands, however, we all knew that my father loved her with every breath he took. After Emmett was born, she finished school and earned her degree in architectural design. Shortly thereafter, I was born, and then Alice, so she never pursued her career, opting to immerse her life in our activities. I always wanted a love like my parents shared, and I had found it with Tanya. It was difficult to see my parents together after Tanya died, it was a constant reminder that I would never grow old with the woman that I loved. I had resigned myself to being alone until Bella came along. Now I wanted all of that again. Our dinner ended with everyone agreeing to meet back at my house at noon the following day, where we would have an early dinner and hang out as a family. Emmett and Alice were already plotting out the activities for the evening and I just shook my head when they asked my input. “It doesn‟t matter what I say. You guys will always revert back to Rummy," I quipped. Alice folded her arms across her chest and pouted. “You are just a sore loser, Edward Cullen.” “No, that‟s not true. You and Emmett cheat and you know it.” “One time!” she wailed. “We cheated one time, and only because Tanya was feeding your hand!” I smiled at the memory as Emmett and Alice glared at me.

“Whatever you want to do, I‟m there. But…I‟ll be watching,” I said with a smirk. I said my goodbyes to my parents and then gathered my kids up and went home. Alice and Jasper were spending the evening together and promised to be back at the house in the late morning to help get ready for our dinner. “Dad?” Anthony asked from the backseat. “Yeah, Slugger.” “Are you going to do what Nana said about Bella?” I stiffened, not realizing he heard that part of the conversation. “You mean about asking her over for dinner?” I clarified. “Yeah.” “Well…I was thinking about it. What do you guys think?” The noise that came from the backseat rang in my ears as both Liz and Tony yelled a resounding 'yes'. Well, I was glad to see that I had the approval of my family. Now if only I could get the approval from the girl.

~*~

Chapter 39 New Beginnings Bella Swan-Black “Seth! Stop chasing Buddy around the house,” I growled as I rolled out of bed. Seth‟s giggles and Buddy‟s playful barks woke me up from a sound sleep as they wrestled through the house. I pulled open the door to my bedroom to find Seth lying on Buddy in the middle of the hallway, his mischievous grin firmly in place. Any irritation I had melted when he turned his happy smile to me. “Do you want to take this little romp to the beach?” I asked. Seth‟s eyes lit up and he nodded quickly before he jumped off Buddy and ran to his room. I reached down and scratched Buddy between the ears, then turned into the bathroom. I quickly pulled my hair back into a sloppy ponytail, brushed my teeth and washed my face. Opting to take a shower when I got home, I threw on a light weight sundress and grabbed the sunscreen and beach towels. I walked into the kitchen as Seth slapped together two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He smiled up at me when I quirked a brow at the mess he had made all over the counter. “We can have a picnic on the beach,” he said happily. I chuckled at his enthusiasm and nodded my head. “That sounds fantastic,” I replied. He helped me get the cooler ready with all of his favorite treats. I eventually had to put my foot down when he grabbed the Oreos, so I handed him two apples instead. He smiled sheepishly at me, before I hurried him out to get Buddy‟s ball and leash. It was a beautiful summer day, the temperature was in the eighties and a light breeze blew off the ocean. We

slowly made our way down the beach while Seth threw the ball for Buddy, his leash dragging behind him wildly. He chased the ball excitedly into the water and then ran around us at full speed. Seth giggled and chased Buddy up the beach when he refused to drop the ball for him. I laughed out loud, loving the feel of the sand between my toes and the carefree giggles of my son. When my divorce was final, everything seemed so gloomy; like life wasn‟t ever going to be the same. The heavy burden of being the sole provider scared the hell out of me. It wasn‟t until we moved and I found myself controlling my own life, that I saw how freeing it really was. I knew that even though obstacles were thrown in our path, we could overcome them. I glanced up to see Buddy barreling towards a small figure on the beach. It looked like a child and I worried that he might frighten the poor thing, so I let out a long whistle. Buddy stopped and looked over at me, his ears perked up. I whistled again, but he didn‟t budge. Letting out an exasperated sigh, I made my way over to him. When he noticed I was walking towards him, he dashed over to the child on the beach and ran around her in circles. She had a bright pink hat on and I could hear her giggling as Buddy completely destroyed the sand castle that she was working on. Seth ran over to stop him, but the girl wrapped her arms around Buddy and he immediately calmed down. Seth dropped to sit down beside her and it wasn‟t until I got closer that I realized it was Elizabeth. I looked quickly around the beach and didn‟t see Edward or Anthony and I felt Mama Bear start to make her way to the surface. Where the hell was Edward? Elizabeth was too young to be out on the beach by herself. Seth picked up her sand toys and they began happily digging in the dirt before I reached them. “Good morning, Elizabeth,” I said as I got closer. She turned to me and waved with a genuine smile on her face. “What are you doing out here by yourself?” I inquired. She pointed out in the ocean and shook her head. “Daddy and Anthony are surfing,” she stated, then went back to filling her bucket. I squinted my eyes and saw several surfers sitting on their boards waiting for the perfect wave. They were too far to make out which ones were Edward and Tony. I plopped down next to her and continued to stare, trying to see if I could pick him out. However, when there were ten men, all in wetsuits with wet hair, it was near to impossible. “What are you guys doing today?” Liz asked. “We brought Buddy to the beach. He‟s been cooped up at the house while I was in Washington,” Seth stated. Over the last week, he barely brought up Washington. I surmised that he enjoyed the last two weeks with his father but I wasn‟t sure if Jake had made up for the four weeks of leaving him with Leah. I just hoped that he hadn't messed things up with Seth beyond repair. I watched as Seth and Elizabeth teamed up to build the sandcastle Buddy had destroyed earlier with his greeting. Occasionally, I would catch myself looking out at the surfers, hoping to catch a glimpse of Edward. Eventually, Anthony came in to shore, his smaller surfboard under his arm. When he reached us, he had a huge grin on his face. “Dad said you guys were sitting on the beach,” he said, as he laid his surfboard in the sand. Anthony sat down next to me and peeled off the top half of his wetsuit. “Which one is your dad?” I asked, looking back out over the waves. Anthony‟s head popped up and he scanned the horizon. Eventually he pointed at a surfer who had just stood up and was riding a wave in. “That‟s dad. He likes to be on the outside. He says he‟s too old to compete for the waves with the other guys.” I watched as he bounced across the waves and then cut back quickly, flipping his board over the top. He gently

sank back into the water and proceeded to paddle back out. “Show off,” Anthony said. There was a hint of awe in his voice when he said it that caused me to laugh. My eyes watched as he lined up with another wave, then immediately stood up. He was graceful as he slid in between the rolling power of the wave. As it died off, he sank back down onto his board and proceeded to paddle the rest of the way to shore. My breath hitched when he was close enough to see the water drops dripping from his hair. “Hey Storm,” Edward greeted Seth. Seth jumped up and ran over to him. “That was so cool. I want to learn how to surf too,” he stated. Edward looked over at me before answering and I looked wide eyed back at him, shaking my head no. Edward chuckled and then ruffled Seth‟s hair before speaking. “We‟ll have to work on your mom first,” he laughed. Seth looked over at me with pleading eyes and I just shook my head, ending the discussion. I wasn‟t quite ready to have my baby out on the ocean with only a surfboard for protection. Edward gave me a small smile in greeting and I felt a familiar thrill run through me. Edward unzipped his wetsuit and pushed it down to his waist as I averted my eyes before he caught me staring. However, the temptation to look upon his gloriously naked torso was too much and I gave in, sneaking glances when I thought he wasn‟t looking. He was just as toned as I remembered, but this time he had a slight tan from being out in the sun all summer. The water from his hair dripped across his chest and vanished into the trail of curls that led down from his navel and into his wetsuit, which was hanging dangerously low off his hips. I wondered briefly what he was wearing underneath the tight neoprene suit. I heard a small chuckle and my eyes snapped to his. He was looking at me with a raised eyebrow, his hand running through his wet hair and I felt my face heat up at being caught. Quickly looking down at the sandcastle that was almost finished, I tried to hide my embarrassment. I felt little droplets of water and then heard Elizabeth scream next to me. I glanced up to see Edward shaking his head above us while he chuckled at getting us wet. “Daddy!” Elizabeth whined, but her smile said she wasn‟t angry. “What?” he asked in a teasing tone. “You got us all wet,” I piped in, causing him to smirk at me. “Are you going to melt?” he asked playfully. I rolled my eyes. “C‟mon Bella. You need to learn that the ocean is your friend.” I shook my head, but the next thing I knew, he scooped me up in his arms. I yelped and then immediately grabbed at my dress, thankful that he had his arms under it so that I wasn‟t flashing the world. “Put me down, Edward Cullen,” I demanded. However, it came out in a laugh and not at all threatening. He strode towards the breaking surf and I realized what he was going to do. I kicked my legs, but he held them tight as he chuckled and continued towards the water. I could hear the kids giggling and I pinched his chest, just above his nipple, hard. He winced at my attack and then crushed me closer to him so that my hands were trapped between our bodies. “That wasn‟t very nice,” he growled in my ear. I felt my heart rate pick up at his close proximity and I almost forgot to fight back, until he made a sudden dropping motion, making me cling to his neck with a squeal. He

chuckled and his arms tightened around my back. He was dripping wet and I could feel the droplets of water soaking into the front of my dress. I heard his feet hit the water and my eyes widened at the realization that he was really going to drop me in the water. I held on tighter and could feel every definition in his chest as my breasts pressed against him, making my nipples pebble. He was chuckling wickedly as he continued to wade out. “Don‟t you dare drop me, Edward!” I cried. His devilish smirk was fully in place as he stared down at me. I knew that even though I was trying to be stern and commanding, I had a stupid grin plastered on my face that ruined any plans I had at being intimidating. “Or what?” he taunted. Moving farther into the surf, he watched my reaction closely. “Or…or I‟ll…I‟ll…I don‟t know!” I wailed. “I‟ll be pretty pissed is what I‟ll be,” I finished, hoping that my outburst would make him think twice. His green eyes bore into mine and I was transfixed on the twinkling under the surface. We stood in the surf as I gave up fighting him and hoped that my threat of hostility would be enough to have him cease and desist. “So you don‟t want to go swimming?” he asked, his playful tone still evident. I frowned at him. “What do you think?” I asked sarcastically. He chuckled, but then his face turned serious and his gaze bore into mine. “Then come to dinner,” he said. I was slightly thrown off by his change of topic. “What?” I asked dumbly. “Come to dinner. We‟re having a barbecue at the house. My parents are in town and Em and Rose will be there,” he said quietly. I didn‟t know what to say. Every fiber in my body screamed at me to say yes, but I couldn‟t open my mouth and utter the words. Finally, I got up the courage to ask a question in return. “So, if I don‟t agree to go to dinner you‟ll drop me in the ocean?” I asked. His eyes lit up and he shook his head, his hair sending little water droplets raining down on me. “No, if you don‟t say yes, I‟m going to dive straight into the next wave and take you into that fifty-five degree water, head first,” he threatened, his lopsided grin melting my heart. “Well, I guess you give me little choice,” I said, agreeing to his offer. He looked slightly stunned, like he didn‟t think I would say yes, and then his face broke out into that heart stopping smile. Our eyes met and his smile softened as he stared down into my face. I pulled my lip in between my teeth as I wondered what he was thinking. His eyes darted to my mouth, leaving little doubt to what was on his mind. He gave me one more squeeze and then started walking backwards out of the surf. Just when I started to relax, I saw a blur of golden fur and Edward‟s grip tightened on me as I felt him lose his balance and start to fall over backwards. He tried to catch himself, but just at that moment the wave that came up rescinded, knocking him further off balance. I had one thought before I landed on top of him. Damn dog! Thankfully, he landed first and there wasn‟t much water since the tide was moving out. We were a tangle of limbs

as I sprawled out on top of his chest. I looked down at him and his eyes were closed. I felt the giggle bubble up in my chest. “Are you okay?” I asked, with a big smile. His eyes opened and he stared back at me before he groaned. “Yes, I just hurt my pride,” he said. I couldn‟t help the laughter that erupted from my mouth as I remembered our first date and how Buddy had done something very similar which ended with both of us on our rears. I could feel the edges of my sundress getting wet, but other than that, Edward had saved me from getting soaked. I started to sit up when I heard Edward suck in a breath and I thought I heard him apologize just before I felt a wave crash over the top of us. His arms wrapped quickly around me, holding me against his chest as the water, again receded away from us. Sputtering and gasping as the frigid ocean soaked every single inch of me, I sat up quickly, straddling his hips. I rearranged my dress that had ridden up to my waist with the water assault, and pushed back my dripping hair. I could hear the tinkling laughter of our children as they watched the whole scene play out. Looking down at Edward, I noticed that his shoulders where shaking with mirth. I slapped his arm. “Look what you did,” I growled, causing him to laugh harder. I tried to contain the smile, but it threatened to emerge from the corners of my mouth. Hopping up quickly, before another wave had a chance to drown us again, I walked back to where the children were sitting on the beach, Edward close behind. I grabbed the blanket we had brought and wrapped it securely around my body before anyone could notice the hard as a rock nipples poking against the fabric. I turned around and Edward looked worried, running his hands through his hair. “Bella, I‟m so sorry,” he said quickly. “I had no intention of getting you wet. Please say you‟ll still come to dinner?” His expression was serious as he pleaded with me. I rolled my eyes and then grinned back at him. “We‟re still coming to dinner, Edward,” I reassured. I heard the kids happily cheer over the news of us coming over. “However, I‟m going to have to go home now and get some clean clothes. “Come home with us and Ali can find something for you to wear,” he said. I looked back towards the car and the idea of a long hike, in wet clothing, didn‟t really sound like something I wanted to do. His house was only a quarter of the way down the beach so I nodded in agreement. We packed up everything and the kids and Buddy quickly darted ahead while Edward and I walked together. The silence was getting a bit nerve wracking before I sucked up my courage and opened my mouth. “I don‟t really know much about your parents. What should I expect?” I asked. I glanced over at him from under my eyelashes and he had a nervous look on his face before his hand raked through his hair. “Don‟t worry, Bella. They‟ll love you,” he said with a small smile. I glanced up at him and nodded before looking back down at my feet. “It‟s just that when you‟ve talked about them, you made them sound like they are almost unreal, maybe even a little too perfect. I just don‟t want to embarrass myself.” “Then let me taint the image a bit and maybe you‟ll see that they aren‟t perfect.” His grin was contagious and I found myself smiling, even though I was nervous at the impending introductions. “My mother is as bad at cheating at cards as Alice and Emmett. They had a good teacher,” he said with a smirk.

“When I was still in high school, mom got caught cheating at the country club bridge game. She was banned from playing in any card games for a year.” I felt my giggle erupt unrestrained as he went into full details on her absolute denial that she had done anything wrong. “She probably could have sweet talked her way out of it, but she decided to get dramatic and „declare her innocence‟,” he said with air quotes. “In the process, the cards fell out of her sleeve.” “Then there's my father. He has a penchant for flirting. Don‟t get me wrong, he loves my mother and is completely faithful, but his flirty comments have gotten him into trouble on occasion,” he said with a chuckle. “He‟s not subjective with who or where he flirts, so don‟t take offense if he says something. Rose and Tanya used to have a running tab of who he liked to flirt with the most. If I remember correctly, Tanya was ahead.” I was laughing so hard that my side hurt by the time we reached the house. Edward led me through the patio with his hand at the small of my back. Buddy was sniffing around, so we decided to leave him outside since he was wet. It felt nice to be back in his house again. Everything felt familiar and comfortable. “You can take a shower in my bathroom and I‟ll see what I can come up with for you to wear,” he said quietly. I nodded and followed him up the stairs to his room. He grabbed a couple of towels and set them on the counter for me, then reached behind the bathroom door and pulled my robe off the hook. I felt the blush rise to my cheeks when I remembered the last time I had worn that silky robe. Hot tubs, blindfolds and honey sticks flooded my memory while I had a hard time keeping my breathing even. “Is there anything else you need?” he asked. I shook my head and thanked him as he ducked out of the bathroom. I was a bit overwhelmed at being here, and as I stripped off my wet clothes, the feeling only intensified. The fact that he still had my robe in plain sight told me a lot about how he hadn‟t really moved on after our split. I climbed into the steaming water and let the events over the last couple of days engulf me. Maybe it was time. Maybe we could really start over again. I quickly washed all of the sand out of my hair and then climbed out. I wrapped the robe around me, not bothering to dry off all the way. I squeezed as much water out of my hair as I could and looked for a brush. I smiled when I couldn‟t find one. That explains why his hair is always a mess. I pulled open the door to his room to find it empty, and I wondered if Edward had found any clothes for me. I sat on the bed and waited for several minutes before I decided to go downstairs and see what was taking him so long. As I descended the stairs, I could hear the kids giggling in the living room. I rounded the corner and was brought up short by an attractive, older looking gentleman that had Tony upside down, tickling him relentlessly. Sitting on the couch was a beautiful woman with light brown hair, who watched the scene unfold with a small smile. I let out a squeak when I felt Edward‟s hands on my shoulders, drawing the attention of the room's occupants. The woman‟s smile was radiant as she stood and walked over to me. “You must be Bella,” she said. “I‟m Esme, Edward‟s mother.” I felt the blush rise to my cheeks at meeting his parents for the first time in a bathrobe. “And this is Carlisle, Edward‟s father,” she said, motioning to the gentleman as he set Tony back on his feet. I mumbled out a greeting in embarrassment before Edward squeezed my shoulders reassuringly. “I‟m sorry, I got side tracked,” he whispered in my ear. “Alice is finding you something to wear as we speak.” I nodded my thanks, wanting to flee back to his room and never come out again. I crossed my arms over my chest and tried to gain some appearance of modesty. The fabric was thin and I really didn‟t want to give them any more

of a show than they had already gotten. “So Bella, Edward mentioned you will be joining us for dinner,” Carlisle said with a smile and a wink. I immediately understood what Edward had been talking about. Carlisle was a very attractive man and I could definitely see how his good looks and charms could get him into trouble. His slightly wavy hair was grayer than it was blond, and his piercing blue eyes were filled with mischief but also a kindness that you don‟t see in many men. “Yes, Edward asked me to dinner just before he dumped me in the ocean,” I said with a teasing smile over my shoulder at Edward. He looked sheepishly away from me until his mother smacked him on the arm. “Ow, what was that for?” he whined. Esme gave him a hard glare and then smiled at me apologetically before turning back to Edward. “That‟s for almost blowing it,” she said with a huff. “I know that you were taught better than that.” I let out a small giggle at the look on Edward‟s face as he backed away from her. He looked like he was terrified of her and she only stood a couple of inches taller than me. “I‟m going to see if Alice has found anything,” he said, excusing himself quickly. I would have to strangle him later for leaving me with his parents alone. Chicken. “Well, I should probably go back up and get dressed,” I said lamely, knowing that I couldn‟t get dressed until Edward brought me some clothes, but wanting an escape route. Esme smiled knowingly and nodded while Carlisle had a crooked smile, reminding me so much of Edward‟s, that it made me blush even further. “We‟ve got all evening to get to know each other,” Esme said. I gave her a half hearted smile and turned to dart up the stairs. When I reached Edward‟s room I threw myself down onto his bed and groaned. How am I going to face them again? That was not the way I expected to meet his parents. A few minutes later, Edward came in with his hands full, pulling me out of dwelling on my mortifying encounter. I sat up and glared at him; thankfully, he looked ashamed. “You totally bailed and left me to fend for myself,” I accused. He gnawed on his bottom lip and I felt that familiar stirring of desire. “I‟m sorry, but trust me; if I would have stayed it would have only gotten more uncomfortable.” He walked over to the bed and stared down at me, his eyes landing on my legs before they shot up to my face. I looked down and realized that the robe had ridden up my thighs. Quickly, I covered my legs and pulled the robe closed around my chest. “Alice found a few things she thinks will fit and I grabbed some other necessities I thought you might need,” he added as he laid them down on the bed. “Do you need anything else?” His voice was a velvet whisper and I wanted to tell him…yes, I need you, but instead I shook my head. He slipped out the door and I flopped back onto his bed. I‟m not going to fight this anymore. When Edward thinks that Liz is ready, I will be ready. If he still wants me. I wasn‟t going to deny the love I had for him anymore. The one thing that I realized over the last few days was that an existence without him in my life would be dismal and unfulfilling. I loved him with every fiber in my body and I wouldn‟t be happy until we were together again. I rolled over and was instantly hit with the smell of him. I buried my face in his pillow and inhaled before chastising myself for being a love sick fool. I sat up and reached for the items that he left and, once again, was overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness. He had brought up a brush, and several other personal hygiene items that he probably robbed from Alice‟s stash. It was sweet that he thought about the little things, like a rubber band and

bobby pins. There were three different outfits for me to choose from. There was a white sundress that had a smocked bodice with ties at the shoulders. The pink embroidered flowers around the hem made it pretty, yet still casual. I didn‟t even consider the two pairs of jeans that she added to the pile, knowing that they would be indecent on me because she was two sizes smaller than I was. Alice had also included a pair of white lacy panties that still had the tag on them. I groaned when I realized that they were from I.D. Sarrieri. Of course she would have designer panties that cost more than the whole draw of underwear I had at home. I quickly discarded the robe and slid the underwear and then dress on, adjusting it until it grazed the tops of my knees. I ran the hairbrush through my hair and spent a little more time pulling it back into a twist at the base of my neck, securing it with the bobby pins Edward had brought up. I took one last look in the mirror and gave myself a little pep talk before making my way back downstairs. Emmett, Rose and their girls had arrived, along with Jasper. Edward came out of the kitchen holding a bowl of chips and dip and gave me a big grin. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a band t-shirt, but what I found completely adorable was that he wasn‟t wearing shoes. I had seen his toes plenty of times, but to see him in such a casual setting made my heart ache to be a part of his life in every way. “Can I help?” I asked. I figured that if I was in the kitchen keeping busy, then I could hide without detection for awhile. He nodded as he set the bowls on the table. “That‟d be great,” he said as he motioned for me to follow him in the kitchen. He set me up with a cutting board and I quickly went to work at preparing a veggie tray. We fell into a comfortable silence as we worked side by side, getting things ready for dinner. It always amazed me how we moved in sync with each other in the kitchen. When we were finished, we leaned against the counter across from each other. “You look very nice,” he whispered, causing me to blush as his eyes swept down my body. “Thanks,” I said quietly. He stepped closer to me and I felt my breathing pick up as his hand came up towards my face. He gently pushed a wayward strand of hair behind my ear and then looked into my eyes. He was so close and my heart started beating out of my chest. His fingers delicately traced over my ear and down my jaw before his hand dropped back to his side. Turning quickly away, he apologized. I grabbed his arm before he could get too far and pulled him back around to face me. “Don‟t apologize,” I whispered. “I‟ve missed you. I‟ve missed your touch.” His eyes slowly rose to mine as we stood a foot apart. “Bella,” he whispered in a pleased sigh that sent tingles down my spine. “You don‟t know how much I‟ve missed you.” His hand came up again as he cupped my cheek. I relaxed into his hold and buried my face into the palm of his hand. Slowly, his thumb traced over the apple of my cheek, and I thought for a moment that he was going to kiss me. He let out a long sigh before he pulled away. I instantly missed the warmth of his touch and was almost to the point of throwing myself into his arms when he asked me the question I had hoped to hear. “Would you like to go out on a date tomorrow evening?” he asked tentatively. My heart did a flip in excitement. “What about your family?” I asked, not wanting to take him away from them. “Shouldn‟t you spend time with your parents while they‟re here?” “They‟ll be here for a few months after Alice‟s wedding,” he said quickly. Biting my lip, I tried not to jump up

and down and throw my arms around him. He looked a little discouraged at my hesitation, but I needed to know one more thing before I agreed to a date. “How‟s the therapy going with Liz?” I asked. Edward‟s smile was all the answer that I needed, but I still asked the next questions just to be sure. “Do you think she would be okay with us going out?” “More than okay,” he said with a smile. “Then I would love to,” I said in a whisper, suddenly feeling very shy. “Would dinner be okay?” he asked. “Maybe we could go to Favaloro‟s again, or maybe you‟d like to try something new?” “How about I make dinner?” I offered. He always spent so much money when we went out and I wanted to do this for him. “What? No, I don‟t want to burden you, and I asked you out,” he said pointedly. “You always took me to dinner and I thought that maybe we could do something different, kind of like a new start,” I said. He looked into my eyes for a long moment before nodding his head. “Okay, but I‟m bringing the wine and dessert,” he said. “That would be perfect.” We heard the obnoxious laughter of Emmett trickle in from the living room as he teased the boys and our moment was over. With a long sigh, Edward held out his hand for me to take. I readily placed my hand in his and felt a sense of new beginnings. This was a new start and neither of us was going to let this opportunity slip through our hands again. He squeezed my hand gently before bringing it up to his lips and brushing the back of my hand with his mouth. I swore to myself that I would do everything I could to make this work. I wasn‟t going to pass up a new beginning.

~*~

Chapter 40 My Girls Edward Cullen Dinner wasn‟t as awkward as I thought it would be. My family warmly opened up to Bella and Seth. My father was fascinated with the white shark at the aquarium and drilled Bella for information all through dinner. “So what is the least known fact about white sharks?” my father asked. Bella popped a bite of tri-tip in her mouth and chewed slowly as she contemplated her answer. “We don‟t know much about the way they mate or reproduce. Pregnant females have been observed, but no one has ever documented a birth,” Bella responded. Carlisle leaned over the table completely captivated, and I

couldn‟t help but chuckle. “Really? How fascinating. Tell me more,” he asked. I could see the light tinge of a blush on Bella‟s cheeks, reminding me that she was usually uncomfortable in the spotlight. “Well,” Bella said as she chewed the inside of her cheek. “There is an eleven month gestation period. The eggs are hatched within the womb and the pup's powerful jaws are developed within a month.” “Ah,” Carlisle nodded. “Are they intrauterine cannibals?” “What‟s that?” Lily asked. “I really don‟t think that‟s proper dinner conversation,” Esme chastised my father. “I think we were all done here anyway,” Rose said as she stood up from the table. Bella started to stand up, but my mother told her to continue her conversation with my father and that she and Rose would clear the table. I should have probably helped, but I was just as fascinated as my father was to hear about Bella‟s work. Though, in all honestly, I just wanted to be near her. She could have read from the phone book and I would have still been interested in what she had to say. “So, tell me more about their mating habits,” he asked. “We don‟t know much about how and where the great white mates. There is some evidence that points to a nearhypnotic effect that possibly results in mating after a large feast.” As Bella spoke her cheeks got even more red and again, I was reminded at how completely beautiful her blush was. My father laughed loudly. He sounded just like Emmett when he laughed. I saw the twinkle in his eye and I knew what was coming next. “Well, there‟s nothing like a good romp after you‟ve been thoroughly fed,” he said with a wink. I rolled my eyes at his flirting and snuck a peek at Bella to see her reaction. She looked slightly stunned, but then recovered as a big toothy grin emerged. “You are absolutely correct, Carlisle,” she said, and then turned towards me. “Don‟t you agree, Edward?” It was my turn to feel uncomfortable and it didn‟t help when my father looked at me with a raised eyebrow in question. My hand was resting on the back of her chair as she stared expectantly at me. I wasn‟t about to let her get away with that comment. I moved my hand to her shoulder and pulled her closer to me. My lips barely brushed her ear before I spoke in a seductive whisper. “Is that why you want to cook for me?” I teased. Bella sucked in a breath before looking back at me. She bit down on her bottom lip and I had a moment where I questioned if I had pushed too far. Stupid move, I scolded myself. However much I wanted to make this woman mine in every sense of the word, I knew that this time around, we needed to take things slow. That didn‟t seem to stop me from opening my mouth so I could shove my foot down my throat. My father took that moment to excuse himself and once he was far enough away, Bella elbowed me lightly in the gut. “You are such a tease, Edward Cullen,” she said with a small laugh. Once I realized that I hadn‟t overstepped the fine line we were dancing on, I laughed softly. “Not as much as you are, Love.”

I glanced over at Alice and she was smiling widely as she, Jasper, and Emmett talked about wedding plans. When she caught my eye she nodded slightly, letting me know that she was very aware of the flirting going on at the end of the table. When Alice and my parents had arrived today, Alice was surprised that I had convinced Bella to come to dinner. She told me that she had invited her over a couple of weeks ago, but Bella had declined. Then she gave me that knowing smile and told me that everything was working out as it should. She always believed that Bella and I would find our way back to each other, and now, I just needed to make sure that her premonition was correct. “Edward, where are the cards?” Emmett boomed, as the rest of the adults emerged from the kitchen. “What kind of cards do you want?” I asked, as I got up from the table and went towards the closet that held all of the games. “Uno!” he shouted. I stopped midway to the closet and turned around to look at him. Was he serious? “How old are we? Twelve?” I asked. “Nope, Alice and I decided that Uno was the safest game to play with this many people, and if we play anything with face cards, we‟ll have to keep a better eye on mom,” Emmett said as his grin widened. My mother was standing within smacking distance, so it wasn‟t a surprise when we heard the sound of her hand connecting to the back of his head. Emmett took it like a man and ducked his head slightly, trying to hold in the laugh that was threatening to spill out. “Emmett McCarty Cullen!” my mother‟s voice raised, “Do you need me to take you over my knee?” she growled. The visual of Emmett over my mother‟s knee must have amused more than just me, because the room erupted in laughter. I went to the closet and grabbed the Uno cards as everyone sat down around the table. The evening progressed as we all played cards and my family got to know Bella a little more. Thankfully, the game was mindless so I could keep an eye on the cheating members of my family. I had caught Emmett twice, trying to pass off two cards into the deck when he laid down. Each time he shrugged and went on as if nothing had happened. We had gone around until I was down to one card. I knew that Bella wasn‟t going to be able to change the color with a wild card because she wasn‟t very good at keeping her cards to herself. As long as no one else changed the color, I would go out when it got to me. My mother leaned over and whispered something in Bella‟s ear before she giggled and nodded her head. “Edward?” my mother asked. “Hmmm?” “Would you mind refilling my glass?” she asked as she handed me her wine glass. I nodded and took it, lying my card down on the table and reaching for the bottle of wine that was sitting on the hutch behind me. I heard another giggle and looked back to see my mother and Bella with innocent grins on their faces. This can‟t be good. I handed Esme back her glass and she smiled and thanked me. “Whose turn?” I asked. “It‟s Bella‟s,” my mother said. Bella looked over at me and with a big grin, and slapped a Wild Draw Four on the

pile. My eyes bugged out of my head. I was positive that she didn‟t have a wild card. My eyes narrowed and I looked back at her while she continued to grin widely at me. “You little cheat,” I said, trying to keep my chuckle in. “What ever do you mean?” she asked in her innocent Scarlett O‟Hara accent. She topped off the innocent act by batting her eyelashes at me. “I mean that you didn‟t have a wild card.” I immediately recognized my mistake when Emmett started laughing and pointing at me. “Were you looking in Bella‟s hand?” Emmett laughed. “Who‟s the cheat?” “She holds them out in front of her all the time,” I defended. “It would take blinders not to see them and she most definitely did not have a wild card.” I looked over at my mother and she was whispering frantically in Bella‟s ear as they giggled. It dawned on me what had happened. My cheating mother and Bella had conspired to take me down. The little sneaks. I felt the grin take over my face. I couldn‟t find it in myself to be angry because two of the most important women in my life were getting along beautifully. Not only were they getting along, they had their heads together, laughing like they were old friends. Bella looked over at me innocently. “Don‟t you give me that innocent look, missy. I know exactly what you and the scamming matriarch were up to,” I said, as I pointed from Bella to my mother. My mother looked over Bella‟s shoulder and winked at me before she stood up. “Well, I think this game is over. Carlisle has an early tee time so we should probably get going,” she said. We all stood up and walked towards the door as Emmett and Rose gathered up their girls to head home as well. I watched closely as my mother took Bella into a hug and said something quietly into her ear. Bella nodded and ducked her head, but not before I saw her cheeks blush lightly. My father walked up to Bella and took her hand in his. Looking over at me, he winked before he placed a kiss on the top of her hand. “It was a pleasure to meet such a beautiful woman. I hope we‟ll get a chance to see you again,” he added before dropping her hand. “I hope so, too,” Bella whispered. My parents made the rounds of kissing each one of the grandchildren and surprising Seth with a hug, before finally making it out the door, Rose and Emmett behind them. The kids ran up the stairs together, talking amongst themselves about baseball. The moment caused me to smile that they were getting along so well. I still couldn‟t believe how far Liz had come, and how she was trying to get along with Seth, even though I knew he irritated her as much as Tony did sometimes. “Well that was fun,” Alice said as she walked towards the kitchen. “Jasper and I can clean up so you guys enjoy your time together.” I looked over at Bella and she smiled shyly at me. “Would you like to sit out on the patio?” I asked, holding out my hand. She nodded and placed her hand in mine. “That would be nice,” she said. I pulled her out onto the patio and quickly set her up with a few pillows on the stone bench that encircled the fireplace. Buddy was excited that someone had finally come out to be with him, so

he curled up next to Bella as she lazily scratched his head. The temperature was cooling down, so the extra heat from the fire would make it perfect. I lit it quickly, silently thanking the designer for making it gas burning, then sat down next to Bella. “Your parents are really great. I feel kind of silly for worrying about meeting them.” “I told you they would love you,” I said quietly. She looked at me and her brown eyes were filled with tenderness before she nodded. We watched the flames flicker in the darkness, enjoying the quiet moment together. “Edward?” she whispered. I turned to look at her and the light from the fire gave her appearance a soft glow. “Mhmm?” I hummed contentedly. “I think we need to do things a little different than we did before,” she whispered. Her eyes never left the fire as she continued. “I think we need to take things slowly and see what happens.” I agreed with her and then we fell back into a comfortable silence. “If we are going to try to do this again,” she whispered, pulling my attention back to her. “I think we need to do more things with our children. I don‟t think either one of us took into consideration how they were going to feel about us dating. We probably could have avoided some of this mess if we had.” “I completely agree. Heidi, Liz‟s therapist, talked to me about some ways to help her and Tony through the transition of bringing someone else into our circle.” “So therapy has really helped?” “Immensely,” I said with a nod. “We still have moments where things don‟t run smoothly, but that comes with the territory of being a parent and making mistakes. None of us are perfect.” “Isn‟t that the truth,” she agreed with a giggle. Slowly, she scooted closer to me until her head rested on my shoulder. Buddy lifted his head off of the bench and placed it in Bella‟s lap. We gazed at the fire for a long while, just basking in each other‟s company. “I don‟t ever want to be apart again,” her quiet confession brought a strong surge of love through me. I would love this woman forever. There was no way that we would ever be apart again. I didn't think I could live without her anymore. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer, nuzzling my nose into her neck. “I won‟t ever let it happen again,” I whispered against her hair. She slowly turned her face towards mine, while my hand came up to cup her cheek. We were a breath away from our lips touching when I heard a loud crash that made both of us jump away quickly. “What in the world are you doing?” I heard Alice yell in the house. Bella and I quickly pulled apart and made our way into the house where Liz, Tony and Seth were all standing sheepishly in the living room. Alice‟s hands were on her hips and a baseball was in her hand. “Would someone care to explain how the window got broken?” Alice asked. My eyes darted to the large picture window and I heaved a sigh of relief that it wasn‟t that one that was broken. It would have cost a fortune to replace. I looked around quickly and found that one of the panes to the door that led to the balcony had been broken. I looked back at the children and none of them seemed to want to answer the question. Finally, Seth looked apologetically at his mother before turning to Alice.

“It was my fault, Alice,” Seth whispered. “No it wasn‟t. It was my idea, Aunt Ali,” Anthony cut in. Seth let out a long sigh and shook his head. “No,” Seth said more forcefully. “It was m-” “It was my fault, Aunt Ali,” Liz whispered, cutting off Seth and causing all of us to stare open mouthed at her. She looked over at Seth and shrugged when he gave her a look that asked what she was doing. I‟m sure that my mouth was hanging open in shock, stunned that she was actually playing with the boys in the first place. “We were playing ceiling fan baseball,” Seth stated. I heard Bella gasp next to me and Seth‟s head lowered instantly until he was looking at his shoes. “I‟m sorry, coach.” “You were doing what in Edward‟s house?” Bella said through clenched teeth. Seth flinched a little at the obvious anger that was laced in her voice. “Playing ceiling fan baseball,” he said before he explained. “You turn the ceiling fan on high and then when you throw the ball in the air the fan hits it, then you need to catch it,” he said as he held up his gloved hand. I looked over at Anthony and Liz and they both had their gloves on as well. “I threw the ball, daddy,” Liz said as she stepped towards me. “It‟s not their fault. I‟m the one that broke the window.” I was again left speechless that she would stick up for them and take the blame. “No, Liz. It‟s my fault. I thought up the idea,” Seth said. “But I was the one to think about getting our mitt‟s to catch the ball, so it‟s my fault too,” Anthony said. It was endearing that he didn‟t want his friend or sister to go down by themselves. I looked over at Bella and her shoulders were shaking. I wondered why a broken window would upset her so badly, when I heard a strangled laugh escape her mouth. She looked up at me and when her eyes met mine, she busted out with another belly shaking laugh, which in turn made Alice laugh and eventually they were both leaning against each other trying to catch their breath. I found myself smiling stupidly at the situation. The three kids looked at us as if we had just lost our minds, which sent Alice and Bella into another fit of giggles. “What‟s so funny?” Seth asked and then looked to Anthony for an explanation, but he just shrugged his shoulders. Bella was the first one to recover. “Seth, for your part in this mess, you will have to work to pay for the damage,” Bella said. Seth nodded glumly, but gave in to his punishment. I nodded towards Liz and Tony. “That goes for you two as well,” I said trying to act stern. “I have a bunch of gardening work that needs to get done that all three of you can work on tomorrow. You each will have to work to pay for the window you broke.” They all nodded. “I think it‟s probably time for us to go,” Bella said quietly. She directed Seth to get his things and then I led them to my car so I could drive her back to the parking lot of the beach. Seth and Buddy had quickly climbed into the backseat and then I closed the door before opening Bella‟s. “I‟m really sorry, about the window, Edward,” she said as she slid into the seat. I brushed it off quickly. “You know, I‟m actually still a bit stunned that Elizabeth was involved in the mischief. I‟m really starting to

worry about the kind of trouble that all three of them could get into if they put their heads together.” Bella giggled and nodded in agreement. The drive to her car was short and I didn‟t want this evening to end; then I remembered that in a few short hours I would be seeing her again. Thanks to adventurous children and broken windows. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Bella came by around nine in the morning to drop Seth off to work out his punishment. We had decided that Seth could stay the night at our house since our date probably wouldn‟t be over until late. The boys were excited to get to work, while Liz looked at the dirt in the flowerbeds with disgust. I showed them which ones were weeds and then set them to the task of ridding the garden of them. I had to start thinking about what I wanted to bring for dessert. I could always stop by the bakery and pick up something, but I remembered what Heidi said about getting the kids involved in planning the date. Liz had finally gotten over her aversion to getting dirty and was now up to her elbows in it, right along with Seth and Anthony. “So…Bella and I are going on a date tonight,” I said. All three of the children stopped what they were doing to look happily back at me. “I was thinking that I should make a dessert instead of just buying one at the bakery. What do you guys think?” “Daddy, you don‟t know how to cook. It might be better if you bought something,” Liz said with an apologetic glance. “What do you mean I can‟t cook? How hard can it be?” I asked, looking slightly offended at her statement. “Maybe you should call Nana and ask her to help. She‟s a great cook,” Anthony said as he rubbed his belly and licked his lips. “How about if I get all of you to help me make it?” Liz‟s eyes lit up and her smile widened. “I would love to help,” she said. I looked over at the boys who both had wrinkled their noses. “Liz can help. Me and Seth want to keep looking for worms. We found a whole bunch right here,” Anthony said as he pointed to the flowerbed with a big grin. “That‟s fine. Elizabeth, lets go in and call Nana and see if she can help us out with a recipe,” I said as I motioned her to follow me. After we were cleaned up, I grabbed my phone and met her in the living room. Quickly, I dialed my mother as Liz smiled encouragingly up at me. “Hi mom, it‟s Edward,” I said when she answered the phone. “Hello, dear. What are you doing today?” “Well actually, that‟s what I‟m calling about. I have a date tonight with Bella.” There was a small squeal on the other line and Liz must have heard her, because she giggled. I rolled my eyes and waited for my mother to calm down. “I knew that something was up last night. Are you taking her to dinner? What are you doing with the kids? I‟m so excited,” she squealed again. There was no denying that Alice got her enthusiasm from our mother.

“Hold on. One question at a time, please,” I said with a chuckle. “I‟m sorry, Edward. I just think she‟s absolutely lovely, and I am so glad that you are finding happiness again.” I knew that my mother meant well, so I figured I‟d indulge her in the details to make her happy. “All of the kids are staying the night here. Alice said that she‟d watch them,” I said, getting the mundane details out of the way. “Absolutely not!” my mother said quickly. What? “They will all come over here. I miss my grandbabies.” “But Seth is staying the night.” “And? Your point is?” she asked. I loved my mother. She had a heart big enough to include everyone she came in contact with, so it shouldn‟t have been a surprise that she wanted to include Seth. “Let me run it by Bella first, but I‟m sure she‟ll be okay with it,” I said, moving on to her next question. “I offered to take her to dinner but she wanted to cook for me. So, I told her that I would bring the dessert and wine. Do you have any suggestions?” “About the dessert or the wine?” “I think I can handle the wine selection. I‟m more worried about the dessert. I don‟t want to pick up anything at the bakery. I thought that it could be something that Liz and I made, but I don‟t know where to begin.” “Ok, well let me think. It would have to be easy because you are notorious for your lack of cooking skills.” “Mom,” I whined. “Hush, it‟s true. Does she like chocolate?” “Don‟t all women?” I countered. “Then I‟ve got the perfect recipe. It‟s rich and very romantic,” she said with a sigh. “Chocolate swirl cheesecake.” “Um…that sounds complicated. I was thinking something like cookies or one of those cake mixes.” “Edward Anthony Cullen. No son of mine is going to woo his date with a boxed cake. Now get a pen and paper and I‟ll give you the ingredients. While you‟re hunting that down, let me talk to my granddaughter.” I handed the phone to Liz and went to grab something to write with. When I returned, Liz was nodding her head and concentrating on whatever my mother was telling her. When she saw me, she handed me the phone. “Alright, what were you filling my child‟s head with?” “Never you mind. Now, here‟s what you need to pick up from the grocery store and if you need me to walk you through it, call me.” I agreed and then quickly wrote down the ingredients as she rattled them off. I thanked her, snapped the phone shut and looked over at Liz. “Are you ready? I‟m going to need your help, big time,” I said, causing her to grin and nod. We made it to the grocery store and back without any problems. I took a moment to call Bella and she was fine with Seth staying with my parents. As I unloaded all of the groceries onto the counter, I suddenly felt overwhelmed.

“What are you doing?” Alice asked when she came in from taking the boys down to the beach. “Making dessert,” I said. I dug around the cabinet looking for a springform pan, but didn‟t really know what I was looking for. Finally, I gave up and looked at an amused Alice, who was propped up on the counter. “Do we have a springform pan?” “Yep,” she said, but didn‟t budge from her position. “Would you mind telling me where it is?” I asked sarcastically. “You‟ve looked in the cabinet that it‟s in three times. Do you even know what a springform pan is?” Alice asked with a giggle. “Enlighten me,” I said through gritted teeth. Alice looked at Liz and gave her a nod. Liz walked over to the cabinet I was just in and pulled out a round pan with latch on the side. She smiled up at me and held it out. I let out a long exasperated breath and took it from her. “So, why are you making a cheesecake?” Alice asked. “Wouldn‟t it be better for everyone involved if you just bought one?” The faith my family had in my cooking abilities was starting to rake on my nerves. I chose to ignore her jibe and went to work on the instructions I had written down. I need to look into taking some cooking classes. I set Liz to work crushing the cookies for the crust while I put together the filling. Alice watched on, occasionally giving instructions or inserting her opinion wherever she could. I am a surgeon, I think I can handle following a few instructions. When I started to put the bowl of chocolate chips into the microwave, Alice hit the roof. “You need to melt chocolate in a double boiler. If you nuke it on high it will have a white film,” she said as she started to pull the bowl out of the microwave. “It‟s fine, Alice. It‟s going to be mixed up in the batter anyway.” “No, it‟s not. You're going to swirl it in, not mix it in, and you want the chocolate to look crisp against the cheesecake. Then you‟re going to drizzle it over the top, so you don‟t want it to look filmy. It‟s all about the presentation” “Seriously, does it matter?” I felt a tug at my shirt and looked down to see Liz holding my phone up at me. “Hello?” “Listen to your sister. You need to use a double boiler,” my mother‟s voice rang sternly through the phone. I narrowed my eyes at my daughter who looked innocently back up at me. Traitor. “Fine. I can‟t believe Liz called you,” I growled. “Don‟t you get on her, I told her that you were stubborn as a mule and that she was to call me at the first sign of trouble,” she said with a small laugh. “Now, listen to your sister and hurry up. You don‟t have a lot of time before your date.” I grumbled about meddling family members as I hung up the phone and went back to work, sucking up my pride and letting Alice help. I let Liz do everything she could, and when it was finally in the oven, we both turned and grinned at each other. Alice helped us clean up the kitchen as she and Liz talked about the last minute preparations for the wedding.

“My work here is done,” Alice said as she turned towards her room. “Since mom is taking the kids, I‟m going to Jasper‟s for the evening. If you need anything, call me.” I swept her in my arms before she made it out of the kitchen and planted a sloppy kiss on her cheek. “Thanks, Ali, I don‟t think we could have done it without you,” I said as I set her back down on her feet. Her eyes twinkled and she smiled back at me. Then without any warning, she poked me hard in the chest. “Just don‟t screw anything up this time,” she growled. She turned and winked at Liz before making her way back to her room. “Daddy?” Liz asked, drawing my attention back to her. “Yes pumpkin,” I swept her up and sat her on the counter. “Do you love Bella?” Her question caught me completely off guard. I thought about not answering her, but then thought better of it. Liz needed to know that I had every intention of never letting Bella go again. I wasn‟t sure how she would react to my answer, but it would probably be best to find out now. “Before I answer your question, can I ask you a couple of questions?” I asked. She nodded her head and I took a moment to figure out how I wanted to approach this subject. “You understand that I love your mother, right?” She nodded. “And do you understand that even if I love someone else, I will still, always love your mother?” She nodded again. I could feel the emotions start to bubble up to the surface as I took both of Liz‟s hands in mine. “I love Bella very much. I don‟t want to give her up again,” I whispered, lowering my gaze to stare at her lap. “She really means a lot to me.” We stood there for several minutes before Liz let go of my hand and touched my cheek. I looked up into her glassy eyes, just as a tear slid down her cheek. “I want you to be happy, daddy,” she whispered. I pulled her into a hug and felt her tiny arms wrap around my waist. “Thank you, sweetheart.” I kissed the top of her head and she squeezed me closer. The timer for the cheesecake went off and we pulled away and looked at each other with big goofy grins. “Shall we see how it turned out?” I asked. Liz nodded eagerly, as she jumped down off of the counter. We both opened the oven door together and looked inside. Perfection. Liz squealed and clapped her hands as I took it out of the oven. “Bella‟s going to love it,” she said happily. I quickly got ready for my date, deciding on casual since we weren‟t going out. I threw on a pair of dark wash jeans and a navy blue button down shirt that I rolled up the sleeves on. Making my way down the hall, I overheard the three kids giggling in Anthony‟s room. I pushed open the door to find them all on their stomachs playing a board game in the middle of he floor. “Are we ready to go?” I asked. All three sat up and started putting the game away. “Nana and Papa have a pool, and there‟s a pond that we can feed the ducks. It‟s going to be so cool,” Anthony

said excitedly to Seth. Within ten minutes we were all piled into my car, Liz holding the prized dessert in her lap. “We need to show it to Nana,” Liz had said when she got into the car. I nodded in agreement. I was pretty proud that we had made something that looked edible. When we arrived at the Lodge, Seth grabbed his bag and then went to carry Liz‟s when I heard her protest. “I can carry my bag,” she said. “You‟ve got the dessert. I can carry your bag.” Seth said. “Besides…a gentleman always carries the bags.” I tried to hold in my laugh, but was completely unsuccessful. Anthony and Seth darted towards the bungalows that my parents were staying in, while Liz and I made our way behind them. By the time we got to the door, my mother was standing there waiting for us. She gave Liz a kiss and then took the cheesecake from her and inspected it closely. “My goodness, there may be hope for you yet,” she said with a wink. Liz gave me a hug before squeezing past Esme and going to play with the boys. I looked down at my mother as she handed me the dessert. “Have a nice time tonight, sweetheart. You deserve a wonderful woman like Bella.” I smiled at her obvious fondness of Bella and then kissed her cheek softly. “Bella just lives over the hill, so if they get too out of hand, give me a call and I‟ll come pick them up.” “Psshh. Are you forgetting that I raised Emmett? There‟s nothing that these three can think of that you or Emmett didn‟t already try. Go. Have fun and don‟t worry about the kids.” I nodded and gave her a little wave as I climbed into my car. As I drove over to Bella‟s house, I suddenly felt nervous. Pulling into her driveway, I spotted her little English neighbor coming out of her house. She waved me over as I got out of my car. “See what the good Lord provides when you ask,” she said as I drew nearer. “I need your help, please.” “What is it that I can help you with, Jan?” “Well if I was thirty years younger I could think of a few things,” she said with a wink. I chuckled at her flirting. I had a fleeting thought of what would happen if her and my father were in the same room together. “I need my Christmas boxes out of the attic and Dave won‟t do it for me. He says that I don‟t need them in the middle of August and I told him he was just being a lazy old fart,” she said causing me to chuckle. “Sure, lead the way,” I said. She was eccentric to the point that I started to question her sanity, but then again, once you‟ve lived as many years as she had, I guess you‟re entitled to be a little odd. I quickly pulled down her boxes and then started for the door. “Haven‟t seen much of you lately?” she said casually. “I saw that big burly guy once, but I don‟t like him much. I kept my revolver under my pillow while he was here.” I choked on my laugh at the image of this tiny woman sleeping with a gun. “He‟s harmless,” I finally said in between chuckles. “You'll be seeing a lot more of me in the future.” Jan gave me a knowing smile and then waved me out the door.

“Well hurry up. Don‟t keep your girl waiting,” she said. My girl.

~*~

Chapter 41 Second, First Date Bella Swan-Black Edward and I had decided that it would be best to bring Seth over around nine o‟clock for him to work off the broken window. I hadn‟t needed to say anything more about the incident to Seth, he already felt awful enough. We pulled into Edward‟s driveway and my heart rate picked up at the prospect of seeing him. Seth jumped out of the car and bounded up the stairs to the front door, where he flung it open without even knocking and ran inside. “Seth!” I scolded. He turned around and looked at me like he didn‟t know what my problem was. “Knock, knucklehead,” I reminded him. He gave me a sheepish grin before I saw Edward lay his hands on his shoulders with a wide smile. “It‟s fine, Bella,” Edward said. “He practically lives here anyway. Maybe I need to claim him on my taxes.” He winked at me before his velvety voice chuckled softly, leaving me slightly weak in the knees. I stood outside the door and looked down at Seth. “Be good and listen to Edward,” I said, trying to muster up my most authoritative motherly tone. Seth nodded, then squeezed past Edward and disappeared into the house. “Do you want to come in?” he asked, stepping aside. “No, I need to run some errands this morning, but I‟ll see you later tonight?” I asked. He nodded and smiled. “What time would you like me to come over?” he asked. “I was thinking around six, if that‟s okay?” I looked uncertainly at him. “It‟s perfect; I‟m look forward to it.” I smiled and turned to go back to my car. I could feel his eyes on me as I descended the stairs, so when I hit the driveway, I turned back around and gave him a little wave. His intense gaze turned up into a crooked smile as his fingers wiggled back at me in response. I mentally jumped up and down with anticipation for the evening to come. I stopped at a little boutique in downtown Carmel to pick up something cute and a bit sassy to wear for our date tonight and then grabbed some things I needed from the grocery store. For the remainder of the afternoon, I cleaned. I hadn‟t done much in the way of cleaning while Seth was away and my little house was screaming in protest from lack of attention. I cleaned the windows and the fireplace kettle along with all of the little things that usually got ignored as a busy single mom.

Dinner was made and in the oven before I decided to take some time for myself. I drew a nice, hot bubble bath and climbed in, feeling my muscles start to relax after a hard day of cleaning. I thought about the evening spent with Edward‟s family and found myself smiling at being included in their tight brood. It was obvious that they had a strong love for one another. It was so different from my own family experience. Sure, my parents loved me and I loved them, but there was never that All American Family feel since my parents had divorced when I was young. Charlie was a great father in that he was comfortable and predictable. My mother, on the other hand, was flighty. I was raised under completely different circumstances than Edward and it wasn‟t until this moment that I realized what I wanted for Seth. I thought about Alice and how she was already turning into a friend that I would have for the rest of my life. We hadn‟t been really close, but I would most certainly call her a friend. She had found a great guy in Jasper. The wedding was quickly approaching and I still hadn‟t gotten her a wedding gift. I wondered if Liz would like to help me pick something out that might give us an opportunity to spend some time together and I could try to build her trust. The bubbles popped quietly around me, causing my skin to tingle at the sensation. My thoughts automatically drifted to Edward. Where did I want this night to lead? I knew for sure that we weren‟t going to be having sex. That is not how two mature adults take things slow, but I couldn‟t help remembering the way my body felt with his hands on me. He could be so tender while we made love and then turn around and rock my world with all of his unrestrained passion. My thoughts lingered on our time on the boat and then moved to the hot tub and honey sticks before settling on the vision I couldn‟t get out of my head since yesterday on the beach. I closed my eyes and sunk further into the bubbles as my hand ghosted down my stomach until it reached its desired destination. Slowly teasing the sensitive skin, I lost myself in memories of Edward on the beach, however, my brain decided to change things up a bit. I pictured myself standing on a deserted, tropical beach as Edward walked out of the ocean holding his surfboard. His extremely low-riding board shorts showed off the perfectly formed „V‟ that pointed to a little slice of heaven. His slight tan from the summer gave him the perfect look of a stereotypical California surfer. His muscles flexed and relaxed with every step he took towards me. The water dripped down his neck and across his well defined chest until it disappeared into his shorts. He looked directly at me with a crooked smile before he flipped his head back, sending droplets of water in every direction. He dropped his surfboard and kneeled in front of me. His hands went to my waist and gently tugged me down until I was laid out on the surfboard. With a small smile, his hands traveled over my breasts and then my stomach until they reached the little blue bikini bottoms that I was wearing. I felt the anticipation rising as I continued to stroke myself slowly and let myself slip back into the fantasy. He watched my face the entire time his hands caressed my stomach, slowly running a finger just under the top of my bikini bottoms. He leaned in and his lips touched mine tenderly, before increasing the pressure with a more demanding kiss. His tongue slipped into my mouth just as his fingers dipped lower and cupped my wet and waiting sex. A low growl came from deep in his chest, vibrating throughout my mouth as he nipped at my lips. My hips automatically pushed up into his hand and I felt him smile when he curled his fingers, sliding into me. I let out a low moan when he slowly uncurled his fingers and then plunged them back into my overly sensitive pussy. I could feel the build of my orgasm climb as I worked the flesh harder and imagined his hands on me at the same time. Every touch sent me closer to the edge, until I felt my slick walls clamp down on my fingers. A soft moan fell from lips as I rode out the waves of pleasure. As I came back to reality, I had only one thought.

I am so screwed. Did I really want to take the physical part of our relationship slow? Did I have the self restraint to not jump him the second I had him alone? Did it really matter if we held off being intimate? We had already been with each other in every sense of the word, and besides that, the man was completely irresistible. I didn't think depriving myself of the pleasure of his hands was really conducive to what my body was telling me. I thought that maybe taking things slow needed to happen more with the way we presented a relationship to the children. I had no doubt that our relationship would continue, my heart couldn‟t stand to be away from him any longer and from what he said, he felt the same way. He always looked at me like he had deeper feelings than the casual affections that come with new relationships. I lounged in the tub until the timer for the lasagna alerted me to the short amount of time I had before Edward would arrive. I quickly climbed out, threw on my robe and made my way to the kitchen. Turning off the oven, I let the lasagna start to cool a bit. I ran back into my room and picked out a new lingerie set. It didn‟t hurt to be prepared, just in case. I really needed to make up my mind on how fast I wanted things to progress. I sighed as I picked up the new shirt I bought earlier that day. It was a little out of my comfort zone, but it had been a long time since I bought anything that made me feel sexy. The weather had been extremely warm the last few days, so I figured the small amount of fabric would be justified. It was a beautiful shade of magenta and sleeveless. The front draped perfectly across my chest, with small gathers down the sides, making it cling in all the right places. My favorite part of the top was the skin revealing net back with floral stitching that stopped just above my bra strap. It revealed just enough to be sexy without looking brazen and cheap. I threw on a pair of skinny jeans and turned a few times in the mirror, noticing that the hem of the shirt just barely covered the waistband of my pants. Every time I moved, a sliver of skin would peek out just below the shirt. I hoped that my outfit didn‟t scream, ”Come do me”, but it was too late to think about that now. I looked in my closet for a pair of shoes, but after standing there for ten minutes, I decided to go barefoot. We weren‟t going anywhere and it just felt more natural. I hardly ever wore shoes in the summer time around the house. I glanced at the clock and realized I only had about fifteen minutes left before Edward arrived. Hurrying into the bathroom, I dried my hair straight, opting to leave it down and then added some mascara and pink tinted lip gloss. With one last look in the mirror, I nodded in approval, this was as good as it was going to get. I made my way back to the kitchen and pulled out the lasagna before turning the oven back on and popping in the French bread. I glanced at the table for a moment and wondered if I should pull out the candles, when I heard the knock at the front door. I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves before I made a fool out of myself. Why was I so nervous? When I opened the door, I had to remember to breathe as Edward stood on the doorstep with a small smile on his face and holding what looked like a chocolate swirl cheesecake and a bottle of wine. “Hi,” I said shyly. Edward bent down and kissed my cheek, softly. “Hello, Love. You look beautiful,” he whispered as he pulled away. I felt myself blush, and then nodded my thanks. “So what did you bring?” I asked, looking down at the cheesecake. He shrugged casually. “Something Liz and I whipped up,” he replied. I‟m sure the look on my face was one of utter shock because he chuckled softly. “What? Why is it that no one has any faith in my abilities to cook?” he asked with a playful grin.

“I‟m sorry. It‟s just…I mean…Well, you…” I let out a long sigh at not knowing what to say about him making something. I just figured, with all of the tales of his disastrous kitchen mishaps, that he would have bought something. “So, you made this?” I finally asked in disbelief, looking over the dessert in his arms. “Yes, Liz helped me,” he said. “And Alice?” He looked at me and rolled his eyes. “Alice just bounced around and told me when I was doing something wrong,” he said in a slightly annoyed tone that was obviously a reflection of his feelings toward Alice at the moment. I cracked a smile that he would take the extra time to do something that I knew was well out of his comfort zone. Motioning him towards the kitchen, I took the dessert from him and put it in the refrigerator. “Something smells good.” “I made lasagna,” I said. I reached for the oven, pulled out the bread and set it on the table. “Do you need any help?” he asked. I looked over my shoulder as I pulled the foil off the top of the lasagna. “And risk your lucky streak of not destroying something in the kitchen? No. I think I can manage,” I said, causing him to chuckle. We ate together and the conversation flowed freely. He talked about what he had done over the summer, which mainly consisted of work, therapy and playing with the kids. I found myself wanting to know every small detail of their therapy sessions, but I didn‟t want to pry, so I let Edward guide the conversation when we came to that topic. He was open and quite frank with the mistakes he had made and some of the solutions that he had been working on with Liz. I could see the changes in him. He was talking about Liz‟s recent change of heart when he reached out and touched my hand. “Bella, I want you to know that I really think that things are looking up with Liz. I can‟t guarantee that everything will be perfect, but I know that we can work through anything that comes up,” he said with conviction. “I don‟t want this distance between us to happen again. I need to know that you won‟t walk away if things get hard.” Had I really given him that impression? Did I just walk away when things got tough? Yes. I felt the tears start to gather in my eyes. I had good intentions when I left, but I recognized that some of the decisions I made were knee jerk reactions. We might have been able to stay together and work through the problems, but at the time, it seemed like the best thing for everyone involved if we made a clean break. I couldn‟t look back and dwell on things I couldn‟t change, but the thought of missing out on the last couple of months with Edward made my heart hurt. He waited patiently while I mentally ran through the consequences of my actions, until a tear slipped down my cheek. His hand came up and he gently brushed it away with his thumb, while he continued to look into my eyes, pleadingly. “My heart wouldn‟t be able to take it again,” I finally croaked out. I saw the relief flash across Edward‟s face and for a moment, we stared at one another, his thumb tracing over my cheek. I felt the shift in our relationship. Something had changed with my admission and thankfully, it felt like we were finally on the same page. That we could move forward with our relationship, together. Edward‟s other hand came up to hold my face in his palm and with excruciating slowness, he leaned toward me. My heart started beating frantically in my chest, in anticipation of the question that was burning in his eyes. He

stopped only a breath away, waiting for my permission. “Please,” I whispered. His tongue slowly licked his bottom lip and I automatically did the same as he proceeded to close the distance between us. When his lips finally brushed against mine, I felt that familiar stirring of euphoria and sighed softly at his touch. His lips were hesitant at first, as he gently brought my bottom lip between his. My hand traveled up to rest on his chest as he slowly opened his mouth, gently pushing mine open in the process. When our tongues met, a spark of electricity ignited the desire that was always burning under the surface for him. He slowly moved his lips against mine and I clenched his shirt in my hand, pulling him closer. I lost myself in his intoxicating scent and the tenderness of his touch until he pulled away slowly. My eyes fluttered open and he gave me a dazzling smile as his thumb brushed against my bottom lip. “I‟ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he whispered. I was too late to catch the embarrassing sigh of contentment that escaped my lips. His smile widened and he pecked my lips once more before releasing my face. “How about some dessert?” Dessert? My brain was in an addled fog and I was having a hard time deciphering his question. Edward chuckled at my perplexed look and then got up to retrieve the cheesecake. I shook off my confusion, and then chastised myself internally for letting a kiss put me into a state of befuddlement. I quickly got up and pulled out the plates and two forks when Edward stopped me. “We only need one,” he said as he took the other plate and fork and put them away. I looked at him questioningly and couldn‟t help but tease him some more. “I don‟t know if I want to try it if you‟re too scared to eat your own dessert,” I said with a smile. He rolled his eyes and pointed to my chair. “Sit, and be quiet. You‟re ruining the moment.” He lessened the scolding by giving me his crooked smirk. I immediately complied and sank into my chair while he plated up the dessert and sat down next to me. He sliced the fork into the cheesecake and brought it up to my lips. I opened and he slid the fork into my mouth. I closed my eyes, enjoying the texture of the rich dessert. I was completely surprised at how good it was and felt bad for ever doubting his abilities. A long moan bubbled up out of my chest as I savored the flavor. I slowly opened my eyes to find Edward staring intently at my lips. I licked them quickly, wondering if I had a crumb at the corner of my mouth. Edward closed his eyes and a loud groan came from him before his eyes snapped open. What I saw reflected back at me was pure lust. “Bella,” he said in a warning tone that caused my breath to catch in my throat. “You are too damn appealing.” I let out my breath with a small giggle as he stabbed the cheesecake and brought a bite quickly to his lips. He chewed slowly before looking somewhat surprised. He stared at the cheesecake and then looked up at me with a proud grin. “That is really good,” he said. He couldn‟t disguise the shock that laced his tone. I winked at him before snatching the fork out of his hand and grabbing another forkful of the yummy dessert. After I devoured it, I picked up another bite and moved to bring it to my mouth when his opened. I thought about teasing him and eating it myself, but the idea of me feeding him won. I brought the fork to his lips and they wrapped around it while I slowly pulled it away. His intense stare made me feel like I was more desirable than the chocolate he was consuming. Everything about the way we fed each other was sensual and brought us closer to the point of no return in our physical relationship. I needed to find out what he expected and we needed to talk about how quickly we wanted to progress with the physical aspect of our relationship. I picked up the last bite and offered it to him as I thought about how to broach the subject of sex. I figured that the best thing to do was lay it all out and hope

that I didn‟t embarrass myself too much. “We talked last night about taking things slow, but I‟m not really sure what your thoughts are,” I said. “What do you mean?” “Well, I meant about the physical part of our relationship,” I said. The heat I felt in my cheeks told me that I was probably bright red. Edward cleared his throat and raked his hands through his hair. I chewed on my bottom lip, waiting for him to say something. After a moment, his eyes met mine and then darted down to my lip. With a groan, he swiped his hand over his face. “I‟m going to be honest with you, Bella. You are driving me insane and I‟m not sure if I can keep my hands off you for very long,” he confessed. I felt my lips pull up into a smile before I leaned in and kissed him softly. Being the man of reason that he was, Edward reluctantly pulled away. “What do you want to do, Bella?” he asked, trying to get this conversation over with. “I will respect whatever you decide.” “I think that we need to take things slowly when it comes to things that pertain to our children. I‟ve been thinking a lot about this lately and we need to ease them back into us dating. We need to be careful for awhile with how much outward affection we show one another. I don‟t want to make Liz uncomfortable and have her revert back to hating me,” I said. He nodded thoughtfully before I continued. “But, I think we should let things progress naturally between us. I don‟t want to make up some silly rule that states how long the appropriate time is before being intimate. I think we‟ll know it when it happens.” “I agree,” he said. I felt a huge burden lift off my shoulders. I stood up and took his hand, leading him into the living room where I flipped on some music and brought him over to the couch. He pulled me down next to him as the soft sounds of Andrea Bocelli flowed from the speakers. He hugged me close and I rested my head on his shoulder. “Why do you listen to Bocelli when you don‟t speak Italian?” he asked with a small chuckle, as he ran his hands through my hair. I shrugged. “I just like his soothing voice. I don‟t get distracted by the words of the song, but instead, I can enjoy the beauty of the melody,” I said quietly. We sat in silence and listened as another Bocelli song started to play. He hummed thoughtfully. “This song is very fitting.” I looked up at him in question. I had forgotten that he could speak Italian. “Why?” I asked. “The name of this song is I Want To Stay Like This,” he started. Edward listened for a moment before telling me what the song meant. “He is wrapped up in the woman that he loves and doesn‟t want to stop holding her.” Edward‟s words struck me hard. Was he saying that he could relate to Bocelli? That he was holding the one that he loved? He cut off my train of thought by continuing his translation. “He says that a gesture, a smile, or just a word from her is worth an eternity and that it‟s just enough to be together, wrapped up in each other‟s arms,” he whispered. I felt him nuzzle his nose into my hair as he squeezed me closer. I sighed in contentment as we cuddled together on the couch, just enjoying one another‟s company. Edward nudged me up with his shoulder and I felt my lip jut out automatically in a pout. He chuckled and leaned

in, placing a quick kiss on my bottom lip. “I have a surprise, but I need a few things,” he said cryptically. I‟m sure my eyebrows disappeared into my hairline as they rose in question. “I need a couple of blankets and a few pillows,” he said. Standing up, he pulled me off the couch and walked with me towards the linen closet. “Why exactly do you need blankets and pillows?” I asked. I handed him two old comforters and he turned around to head back into the living room, not answering my question. I went in and grabbed all of the pillows off my bed and when I returned to the living room the front door was wide open. I walked outside and Edward had laid out both comforters, on top of one another, in the grass. “What are you doing?” I asked. He waved me over and then took the pillows and laid them on top of the comforters. “Get comfortable,” he said, motioning towards the makeshift bed he had made. I sat down and instead of sitting with me, he darted back into the house. I watched as he shut off the lights in the house and then as he came back out, he shut off the porch light as well. I was momentarily blinded by the lack of light while my eyes adjusted to the darkness. Edward obviously didn‟t give himself enough time get his sight back when I heard him run into one of the patio chairs. A low curse drifted towards me and I stifled a giggle. “Are you okay?” I asked. He plopped down next to me and was vigorously rubbing his shin. “Yes, stupid chair jumped out at me,” he growled. “So, what are we doing?” I asked. Edward pulled me down so that we were both lying on our backs, looking up at the stars. He slipped his arm under my head and pulled me closer as we looked up into the sky. “Just watch,” he replied. We laid there for several minutes before I saw a white streak flash through the sky. Within a matter of minutes there were several more. I laid in his arms in awe. I had never taken the time to watch a meteor shower before. Sure, I had seen shooting stars and even a comet and lunar eclipse but I had never just lain out under the stars and watch them streak through the sky. “It‟s beautiful,” I whispered as they increased so that there was one every second or so. “I can‟t believe I‟ve never taken the time to do this before.” “Really?” he asked in disbelief. “Nope. I‟ve never seen a meteor shower before.” We watched the show for quite awhile before I felt my eyes start to droop. I didn‟t want our evening to end yet. “Bella, would you be willing to go away for a weekend?” he asked. When I didn‟t answer immediately, he hurried on with his explanation. “It wouldn‟t be until after Alice‟s wedding. That would give us some time to reconnect-,” he trailed off. I could tell that he was nervous about asking and I wanted to reassure him that he had nothing to worry about. “That sounds nice,” I whispered. He slowly let out a long breath in relief and I smiled against his chest. We continued to lay in each others arms until I drifted off and I felt him pick me up. My eyes popped open and I curled into him with a whimper.

“Shhhh, you fell asleep. I‟m just taking you to bed,” he whispered. I buried my face in his chest as he kicked open the door to my room. He gently laid me down on my bed and kneeled down next to me, placing a small kiss on my forehead. “Goodnight, sweetheart. I‟ll see you tomorrow,” he whispered and then stood up. It took me a moment for his words to register and my hand shot out and grabbed his wrist before he could pull away from me. “Please, stay,” I whispered. He looked down at me for a moment. I'm sure he was thinking over the appropriate decision, because I was as well. Finally, he nodded. “Anything for you, Love,” he said. I got up and grabbed a tank top and pair of small cotton shorts, then ran into the bathroom to change. By the time I came back, Edward was already in my bed. Curious as to what he was wearing, I slid the covers far enough back to see that he had on a cotton undershirt and his boxers. I crawled in beside him and flipped off the light. Pulling my back up against his chest, Edward wrapped his arms around my waist and buried his nose in my neck. “Sweet dreams,” he whispered. I turned my head until my lips found his and I kissed him gently. I‟m sure they will be.

~*~

Chapter 42 Bridal Shower Bella Swan-Black Waking up in Edward‟s arms had to be the best thing in the world. Well…maybe after waking up naked, on a boat, while Edward teases your body with a rose. Now, that was probably the best way to wake up, but this was a close second. We spent an hour after we woke up talking and filling in the silence with soft kisses and tender touches. He never crossed the unspoken boundaries that we had mutually set with how far we would take the physical part of our relationship. I think we both knew that it was just too soon. We made plans for the remaining time the children were out of school. We also came to an agreement that we would make sure that every date we had alone would be followed by an outing with the kids, as well. Since I had to go back to work on Monday, we decided to keep things local until the following weekend. This weekend, I had a bridal shower to attend. “So, what do you think I should get Alice for the party this weekend?” I asked as my head rested on Edward‟s chest. He casually ran his fingers through my hair as he stared up at the ceiling. “Ugh! I don‟t even want to think about gifts for that kind of party,” he groaned. I slapped his chest and giggled at his disgust. “Seriously. I‟m sure whatever you get won‟t be as bad as Rose‟s gift.” “Why? What do you think she‟ll get?” I asked. He grunted but didn‟t answer me. I looked up into his eyes and he shook his head at me.

“Trust me. It won‟t be pretty,” he said with finality. “Now you‟ve got me curious, Dr. Cullen,” I whispered. I was hoping my flirty eyes would get him to confess what he wasn‟t telling me. “You sound like you have first hand knowledge of said inappropriate gifts.” He shook his head a little too violently. “I‟m not talking, so drop it,” he said. There was no way in hell I was going to drop it now. He just confirmed some wonderfully embarrassing story and I was definitely going to get it out of him. “Fine, I‟ll just ask Rosalie,” I said, sitting up quickly. He grabbed for me, but I dodged his arms and slid out of bed. “Bella, please don‟t. She‟s bound to make it out to be more than it was. Now, come back over here, I‟m not ready to get up yet,” he pouted. I grabbed his phone off the bedside table and he sat up. “What are you doing?” “Calling Rosalie,” I said with a smirk, before turning my back and walking across the room. He was out of bed and had me pinned against the closet door before I had time to squeak in protest. He snatched the phone out of my hand and kissed me with such force that I completely forgot how we had gotten where we were. His lips hungrily devoured mine as I ran my fingers through his hair. A small whimper escaped my lips when his tongue made its way into my mouth and demanded dominance. I felt that familiar stirring of desire course through my blood and was about to throw out all of our well planned boundaries when he quickly pulled away, leaving me breathless and wanting. When I opened my eyes, he was standing a few feet away with a small smirk. I grasped to remember what we were previously talking about when it came back to me that he had something embarrassing he didn‟t want me to know. “That was sooo not fair, Edward Cullen. Don‟t think that your little distraction methods will work.” His face fell as he realized I was determined. “I can always ask Rose at dinner. Maybe your mother would like to hear as well,” I said with a smirk. He looked momentarily horrified before he groaned and raked his hands through his hair. “Fine. I‟ll tell you, but you need to come back to bed to hear the whole sordid tale,” he said. Climbing back into my bed, he pulled back the covers and patted the spot next to him. I couldn‟t contain the smile as I crawled in and laid my head on his arm. He muttered under his breath about stupid siblings and something about payback that I didn‟t completely catch. “On my last birthday, Rose and Emmett got it into their heads that I needed some form of intervention,” he started, but then paused. Raking his fingers through his hair again, he looked pleadingly at me to not make him continue. I considered it for all of two seconds and then grinned widely at him. He let out a long sigh in defeat. “While I was working, they came over to take the kids for the night, but before they left, they set up their present, sneaking it in while Alice distracted the kids. I was completely shocked when I came home to find that my room had been transformed into a den of sin,” he stated. I started giggling before he had even gotten to the extent of the “gift”. “They set up a DVD with some pornographic film, so you can imagine my shock as I came up the stairs to hear the sounds of heavy breathing and screams of ecstasy coming from my room,” he said through gritted teeth. I let out a snort and covered my mouth quickly as I tried to contain the giggles. “I considered calling the police until I heard the awful porn music in the background and recognized it for what it was. When I opened the door, I found that not only was a film playing, but they had one of those life sized sex

dolls laid out across my bed. We aren‟t talking a cheap blow up one; I wasn‟t completely sure that it wasn‟t a real woman from across the room until I demanded that she leave and it didn‟t move,” he said. I laughed out loud and it wasn‟t a girly laugh, it was a full on guffaw. He stopped and glared at me and I quickly apologized, asking him to finish his story while trying to hold in the chuckles. “Like I was saying, it wasn‟t one of those inflate-a-babe models that are made out of vinyl. This thing had an articulating skeletal system, robotic pelvic movements, moveable joints and was made out of this gel like substance that almost felt like real flesh.” Edward and I were now completely rolling around the bed in a fit of hysterics. He seemed to have gotten over his humiliation and was fully into his tale. “I was seriously considering dissecting it to find out how it worked, once I realized how advanced it was,” he said between chuckles. “Leave it to the doctor to want to dissect it,” I said with a smirk. “What did you do with it?” I asked, wiggling my eyebrows at him. “Nu uh! Please. That‟s just wrong,” he said, holding up his hands in defense. “I have to admit that I was completely intrigued with how far technology had come but I would never do that,” he said with mock disgust. “I called my brother and told him to come get it, or I would take it apart piece by piece.” “What did Emmett say?” I asked. “He was over at the house within fifteen minutes, telling me all the benefits of having some companionship. I wanted to throttle him,” he growled. “What happened to the doll?” “I don‟t even want to know what he did with it,” he said as he wrinkled his nose. We laughed some more as he went into further detail of what it could do. I was completely shocked that something like that even existed and even more so when he said that they were around six thousand dollars. I couldn‟t believe that people would spend that kind of money on something to get themselves off. Eventually we had to emerge from our little bubble and pick up the children from Esme. We spent the rest of the day with the kids, playing on the beach, and then went back to his house for dinner. We kept all public displays of affection to a minimum and snuck in small kisses and touches when we knew that we were completely alone. It was hard to leave at the end of the day, when all I wanted was to stay the night wrapped up in his arms again. Elizabeth and I got along unbelievably well. She went out of her way to sit next to me at dinner and even dragged me into the living room where she played several songs that she had been practicing on the piano especially for me. Edward seemed pleased by her inclusion, which led to him grabbing me when the kids went upstairs and pushing me into his office where he practically attacked me with kisses. We had to sneak back out of the room when they came downstairs and started looking for us. The rest of the week was similar to our weekend. Alice would take Seth to hang out with Anthony and Liz at Emmett‟s house, where Edward would pick them up after work and bring them back to his place. After I got off work, I would go over to his house, help with dinner and then we all would hang out on the beach, play games, or watch movies. Everything flowed naturally between us and the kids seemed to enjoy spending time together. It almost felt like we were a family, except when nine o‟clock would roll around and Seth and I would pack up and head home. Each night, it was getting harder and harder to leave. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

I raced home Friday after work to get ready for Alice‟s dinner. Seth was staying the night at Edward‟s and was already there. I quickly showered and slipped into the little black dress that I picked up when I went shopping for Alice‟s bridal shower gift. It was simple in that it was a wrap around dress that dipped a little lower than what I was normally comfortable with, but I loved the feel of the flowing silk across my body. I spent extra time adding a few curls to my hair, but left it down so that it flowed down my back. The new shoes I bought weren‟t designer, but I still felt sexy in the strappy heels. I drove over to Edward‟s because Alice had informed me that we were taking a limo. It didn‟t surprise me that this family was more aware of the consequences of drinking and driving. When I pulled up to Edward‟s house, I was slightly taken aback by the black stretch Hummer that sat in the driveway. I made my way up the stairs and was greeted by Edward after he threw open the front door, his mouth agape. “You look stunning,” he said breathily. He scooped me into his arms and kissed me with a ferocity that momentarily stunned me. We heard a small giggle behind him and he quickly released me, running his hands through his hair. I peeked around him and found Liz standing in the doorway with a big smile on her face. “Aunt Ali wants to take a picture on the balcony before you guys go,” she said, then turned and disappeared back into the house. “Well that was awkward,” he said mostly to himself. I smiled and nodded, but felt like maybe it wasn‟t such a bad thing to be caught once in awhile. Edward placed his hand at the small of my back and led me into the house. Esme, Angela and Rose were already waiting in the living room when Edward walked me in and placed a kiss on my cheek, then disappeared into the kitchen. “Fantastic, everyone is here,” Alice said as she bounced over to me, threading her arm through mine. “I want to take pictures on the balcony and then we can head over to the restaurant.” They all stood up and we made our way outside. The sun was still an hour from setting and the backdrop was breathtaking. Edward came out with a camera while Alice started arranging us so the sun wouldn‟t ruin the picture. I heard the click before everyone was set up and looked up to see Edward glance over the top of the camera and smile that crooked grin at me. The things that man did to my insides were staggering. I shook my head in embarrassment as he took a few more photos of me while Alice placed everyone where she wanted them. I glanced over at Esme and she had the biggest smile on her face as she watched Edward closely. After a moment, she caught my eye and winked. The kids had come out to the doorway and watched while Edward snapped a few more pictures. When Alice had enough of capturing the moment, we all went to the driveway. Edward helped everyone up into the monster of a limo and then turned to me. The kids had run back up to the house, so he leaned in and gave me a lingering kiss. “Alice set up the guest room for when you come back, but make sure you come in and see me first,” he whispered before kissing me again. I heard Rose let out a loud catcall that startled me as I pushed him away, embarrassed that they had just witnessed our private moment. “There‟s plenty of time for that later. We‟ve got some margaritas waiting for us. Let‟s go!” Rose called. Edward pecked my lips one more time before he lifted me up into the Hummer. I climbed in and sat next to Angela who was across from Esme, Alice and Rose. I knew that I was probably bright red so I kept my head down and hoped they wouldn‟t comment. Thankfully, Alice launched into wedding details and I released a small sigh of relief. We arrived at the restaurant and were immediately seated in a small room we had to ourselves. The waiter brought

us our drinks and we all sat around and chatted while we waited for our dinner. “Ok, I‟m in charge of this party and since Alice wouldn‟t let me do what I had originally planned, we are going to get to know each other a little better,” Rose said with a devilish smirk. “Now just because Momma C is here, don‟t be fooled by her demure appearance,” Rose winked at Esme and had a brilliant smile returned back to her. I had a feeling that this was going to be uncomfortable. “I‟m sure that with a handsome and virile doctor for a husband, she could give us a few pointers on how to treat our men.” I heard Alice groan as she shot Rose a death glare. “What? Have you seen Carlisle?” Rose asked, fanning herself. The table erupted in giggles. “I don‟t know if I have the stomach to handle where I think you are going with this Rose,” Alice said. Esme let out a long chuckle before reaching over and patting Alice on the hand. “I‟ll try to keep it PG-13 for you,” Esme said with a wink. “Okay, first kiss,” Rose said as she clapped her hands together. “How old were you? Who was it with and any other interesting facts? Esme, you start,” Rose said. Everyone at the table looked at Esme. She smiled a little too widely as she thought about her answer for a moment. “I was seventeen and it was the high school quarterback. He was so handsome, but the poor boy didn‟t know what he was doing,” she said with a sly smile. “It wasn‟t until I kissed Carlisle that I realized what I had been missing.” Everyone let out a long „awwwww‟. “Okay, Angela it‟s your turn,” Rose said, moving on from Esme. I glanced at Angela and she was already three shades of pink. “Um…I was eighteen and it was my college roommate‟s brother. We had one too many shots of tequila and I kind of jumped on him,” Angela said. She buried her face in her hands. “It‟s always the quiet ones,” Rose teased. “Alright Bella, you‟re up.” I rolled my eyes. “I‟m the boring one. First kiss was my ex husband and we were seventeen, on my front porch, after the junior prom,” I said in a matter-of-fact tone. Rose crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. “We will dig deeper. I want dirt!” Rose said with a smirk. I admit, I was a little scared of her, but I could tell that it was all done in good fun. Rose turned to the bride-to-be with a wicked smile. “Alice?” Rose sang. Alice started squirming in her chair and occasionally glanced at Esme. Finally, she looked apologetically at her mother. “I was fifteen,” Alice said carefully. “He was twenty-two and was tutoring me in Geometry.” Esme gasped and Alice bit her bottom lip, waiting for the onslaught that never came. Instead, Esme started laughing so hard, I thought she would fall off her chair. “Your first kiss was with Wandering Eye Wilbur?” she said, in between her giggles. Alice huffed and crossed her arms over her chest as Esme continued to laugh. “Wilbur? Who the hell names their kid Wilbur?” Rose asked. She turned to look at Alice with a big grin. “Who the hell kisses a guy named Wilbur?” We all started laughing as Alice continued to glare at Rose.

“Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your Prince Charming,” Alice huffed. We all made the same „awww‟ sound at Alice‟s retort. “Ok, Rose. It‟s your turn,” Alice said. Rose looked around the table with a big smile. “I was nineteen,” she started. Every mouth at the table dropped at her admission. “What? I was a late bloomer,” she defended. “Anyway, I was nineteen and it was this really handsome, college baseball player.” “No way! Are you saying that Emmett was your first kiss?” Alice squealed in disbelief. With a sly smile Rose shook her head. “Nope, it wasn‟t Emmett. But it was a Cullen.” There was a gasp of disbelief around the table as realization hit everyone. “Edward?” Esme said, slightly stunned. When Rose confirmed, Esme burst out into a fit of giggles causing the rest of the table to follow. “It only happened once. It was completely awkward and after it happened we mutually agreed that it was totally wrong. It was like kissing my brother,” she said with a shiver. Rose kept firing off questions throughout dinner. I was completely blown away that Esme seemed to take the most outrageous answers award. When Rose asked what everyone‟s favorite position was, Alice put her foot down, saying that she didn‟t want to have that mental image of her parents together. After dinner, Alice opened up her gifts. Esme got her a tongue-in-cheek book from the fifties that was entitled, “The Good Housewife's Guide.” It was filled with suggestions like, “greet your husband at the door with a kiss” and “don‟t complain when he comes home from a hard day at work”. I thought Alice was going to pee her pants as she read off some of the suggestions. Angela gave Alice a gift certificate to the spa, because we all know how much Alice loves to pamper herself. Rose‟s gift didn‟t surprise anyone when Alice opened the box to find a pair of pink fuzzy handcuffs, a blindfold and an assortment of flavored oils. She quickly shoved the items back into the box with an embarrassed laugh. When Alice got to my gift, I suddenly felt nervous. Alice lifted off the lid to the Victoria's Secret box and peeled the tissue paper back to reveal a white silk babydoll nighty that had embroidery and beading under the bust. It was feminine and sexy without being trashy. Alice‟s smile widened as she thanked me and said that it would be perfect for their wedding night. After another round of drinks at the restaurant, Rose announced that we were hitting a little jazz club and piano bar. Alice had only agreed because it wasn‟t the typical club, where it would be like walking into a meat locker. Esme rode with us in the limo to the bar before saying her goodbyes, and had the driver take her back out to Carmel Valley. We found a table close to the piano and the drinks flowed freely. We were all quite surprised when Angela stumbled her way to the dance floor and swayed slowly to the music from the band. Within minutes, she had several guys surrounding her as they moved in closer and danced with her. The three of us sat in shock while we watched her get her flirt on as she turned from the shy girl next door to sexy vixen. “I bet Ben was quite surprised when he finally got her naked,” Alice said with a giggle. Rose jumped up and grabbed Alice and my hands, tugging us out onto the dance floor. We circled Angela and saved her just when one of the guys was starting to get a little grabby; Rose pushed him away. I hadn‟t danced in years, so I felt a little awkward at first, but as the alcohol started to mess with my judgment, I let go of my inhibitions and let the fun of the moment over take me. We danced for most of the night, just us girls together, avoiding the advances from the

male population and getting to know one another better. By the time we were climbing in the limo, it was obvious that we were all completely snockered. Rose had absolutely no filter when you got a few drinks in her and she had us in fits of laughter at some of things she and Emmett had gotten up to. “So Bella? Has Edward showed you his friend?” Rose asked with a giggle. Angela gave her a funny look while Alice rolled her eyes. I was glad that I already knew what she was talking about, thanks to Edward‟s confession the previous weekend. “What friend is that, Rose?” I asked, playing innocent. “Busty Betty,” she said simply. “Who‟s Busty Betty?” Angela asked. Rose snickered before launching into her tale. “For Edward‟s last birthday, Emmett and I got him one of those expensive as hell sex dolls. The damn thing had an H cup breast size, thrusting hips and looked like a real chick!” she exclaimed. Angela looked slightly mortified and looked quickly at me. I couldn‟t contain the giggles. “I never could figure out why on earth you would get Edward a sex doll?” Alice turned back to Rose, perplexed in her drunken haze. “Well before Miss Bella came along, that boy needed to get laid,” Rose stated before she turned to me. “You‟ll have to ask him about it. Maybe you can have a threesome,” she said with a giggle. “He already told me,” I said with a snort. “But I think that you need to talk to Emmett about that threesome, since Edward made him take it back.” Rose‟s eyes bugged out of her head and her mouth opened to say something before quickly snapping shut. Suddenly, the limo erupted in drunken laughter. We dropped Rose and Angela off at their houses and then headed back to Edward‟s. Alice and I stumbled our way up the stone steps as she fumbled with the keys. We giggled and shushed each other on our way into the house. The kitchen light was on, but the rest of the house was quiet as she shoved me towards the stairs. “Goodnight,” she said with a waggle of her eyebrows. I heard the giggle escape my lips and slapped my hand over my mouth as I made my way up to Edward‟s room. I pushed open the door and the light from his bathroom was on, giving me enough light to see his sleeping form. I tiptoed over to his bed and looked down at the incredible man that I was in love with. The window was open and a small breeze of ocean air blew through the room while the sound of the waves crashed in the distance. Edward shoved all the covers onto the floor from the heat of the evening and was sleeping with just a sheet pulled up to the middle of his chest. One arm was curled under his pillow and his head was tilted back with his mouth slightly open. He was sound asleep. I kicked off my shoes, and slid under the sheet with him, wrapping my arm around his bare waist. The feel of his hot skin against my hand sent a small shiver down my spine and I slowly traced my fingers down his abs until I reached the elastic band of his boxers. I had a sudden urge to see him and if I hadn‟t had a buzz going, I probably would never have done what I was about to do. I hooked my fingers inside his boxers and slowly pulled them over his hips. I was surprised at how easy it was to remove them with his dead weight. He didn‟t move an inch as I pushed them the rest of the way down his legs

with my toes. The sheet still covered his lower half and I rested my head on his stomach as I lifted the sheet and took a peek. It had been months since I had seen every single inch of him and I felt my panties get wet at the thought of having him inside me again. I placed a kiss on his stomach and then turned to look up at his face. Any reservations that I may have had disappeared when I looked up into his half lidded eyes. He looked half asleep, but there was a small smile playing at his lips. “How was your night, Love?” he asked. I shifted until I was lying between his legs, his now fully erect penis pressed into my stomach. I smiled wickedly at him and then kissed his chest. “It‟s about to get better,” I whispered as I trailed kisses down his stomach, scooting down the bed as I went. “Bella?” he half groaned, half warned. I didn‟t waste any time as I engulfed him in my mouth. He hissed in pleasure as his hands fisted into the sheets and his back arched, pushing him further into my mouth. I let out a little giggle at his reaction, but then continued to slide my mouth up and down his length. I heard Edward groan while his hips gently pushed up into my awaiting mouth. “Bella, you need to stop,” he gritted out. What the hell for? I was exactly where I wanted to be and to hell with the boundaries, if that was what he was worried about. I increased the suction as his hands fisted into my hair, he gently tugged, trying to pull me up, but I held firm. He let out a strangled cry as he released in my mouth. I was so wrapped up in what I was doing that when his spunk hit the back of my throat I gagged. Pulling him out of my mouth with a pop, I swallowed what was in my mouth just before getting hit below the eye with another stream of sticky goo. I quickly wiped it away and looked up to Edward‟s horrified stare. The look on his face sent me into a round of giggles and I collapsed on the bed next to him. Reaching over to the nightstand, he grabbed a few tissues and handed them to me. I wiped my cheek off and then cleaned up the mess he made on his stomach before he took the tissues from me and threw them away. I heard him chuckle before pulling me up into his arms, my head resting on his shoulder as he stroked my hair. “You‟re drunk,” he stated with a small sigh. “Maybe a little,” I replied, holding my fingers an inch apart to show how much. “I think a lot more than that,” he said, as he kissed the top of my head. I let my hand trail back down to his member and traced my fingers around the head. He groaned and grabbed my hand, pulling it up to rest on his chest under his own hand. “I‟m not going to let you do anything you‟ll regret later,” he said. “I won‟t regret anything that we do,” I said with a pout. He kissed my lips softly and then shook his head. “No, but I don‟t want the next time we make love to be in a drunken, lust filled, haze,” he said. I growled into his chest. I was so damn horny after our little playtime that I wasn‟t above begging. “Edward, please,” I pleaded. “I need you.” He groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose while I watched his resolve waver. He flipped us over so that I was on my back, and hovered above me. The look in his eyes told me I was going to get what I wanted and I was almost giddy with anticipation. His eyes suddenly softened and he shook his head. “I won‟t have sex with you, Bella. Not yet. Not when you‟ve been drinking and can‟t fully appreciate the meaning and feeling behind it.” His words sent a thrill straight to my heart and I loved him even more with his thoughtfulness, but I wasn‟t about to be left sexually frustrated. I stuck out my bottom lip and glared at him. I wasn‟t above hitting below the belt to get what I wanted.

“I don‟t think that‟s a fair trade. You had your release and now you‟re going to leave me wanting?” I asked. He chuckled and shook his head. “I didn‟t say that I wasn‟t going to fulfill your needs, Love,” he seductively whispered in my ear. He sucked my earlobe in between his lips and ran his tongue along the edge before moving to my neck. With each open mouthed kiss, he sent my body spiraling out of control. His hands went to the ties on my dress and with one tug he had pulled it apart. Sitting up on his knees between my legs, he brushed the material aside and gazed upon my exposed body. “Perfection,” he whispered. Edward‟s hands slid up my thighs slowly, leaving a trail of fire to the place that I wanted him to touch the most. In one quick motion my panties were lying on the floor and his mouth was on me. The alcohol was making me light headed as my breathing picked up and I buried my hands in his curls. I pulled him tighter against me, trying to gain more friction, when I felt his fingers slide into me. My orgasm was instant as I tried to muffle the scream that was trying to escape. Instead, it came out as a half mangled cry. My whole body tensed while I rode out the waves of pleasure and then slowly relaxed as I began to calm my breathing. I heard Edward chuckle before he placed a kiss on the inside of my thigh and then climbed up my body. He kissed me tenderly on the lips before rolling out of bed and grabbing a t-shirt from his dresser and tossing it to me. It was pointless to put the damp panties back on, so I unlatched my bra and pulled it off before sliding the t-shirt over my head and collapsing back on the bed. I heard him whisper a sweet goodnight before I fell into oblivion. My head was pounding when I felt myself being swept up into a strong pair of arms. I poked one eye open and saw that the sun was just beginning to rise. I buried my face in Edward‟s hard chest and groaned. “What are you doing?” I whispered. The sound of my own voice caused my head to throb and I winced. A low chuckle vibrated my cheek and I felt him lower me onto a bed. “I‟m moving you before the kids wake up. You‟re in the guest bedroom,” he whispered. I was too far gone to care where I was at this point. Edward kissed my forehead and brushed the hair away from my face. “Go back to sleep and I‟ll get you something for your hangover when you wake up.” I nodded and rolled over, burying my face in the pillow. I‟m never drinking again.

~*~

Chapter 43 Minor Set Back Edward Cullen It was getting harder and harder to keep our physical relationship from the kids. I didn‟t want to take Bella to the guest room and a part of me almost gave in and kept her snuggled in my arms. I laid in my bed, holding her for the rest of the night. She was so damn cute when she giggled uncontrollably in her drunken stupor. Then she had to give me those sexy bedroom eyes right before she took my cock in her mouth. I felt my dick twitch as I remembered her ruby red lips sliding over my length. Everything about her enticed me: her personality, her mind, her looks.

I checked in on her several times during the morning hours, but left her to sleep off as much of the enormous hangover that I was sure she was going to be nursing as she could. The kids were mindful of her sleeping and kept a low profile while I attempted to make a late brunch with burnt bacon and over-cooked eggs. At least the toast and orange juice were edible. I quietly snuck the tray into the guest room where she was snoring lightly. I set it down, walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers. She stirred and opened one eye slowly. Groaning, she flung her arm over her eyes and licked her lips. “What time is it?” she asked through parched lips. “Eleven. You need to eat something and drink some fluids. Alcohol depletes your body of-,” she cut me off with a wave of her hand. “I know,” she said. “I‟m never drinking tequila again.” I chuckled and helped her sit up by propping several pillows behind her. She smiled tentatively at me and I wondered how much of last night she remembered. “I made breakfast, but I wouldn‟t blame you if you didn‟t want to eat it,” I said with a cringe, as I looked at my attempt at cooking. She groaned, pulling my attention back to her. I smiled at the sight. Her hair was a mess sticking up in some places and plastered to the side of her head in others. She had black mascara under her eyes that was smudged and chunky, while her eyes were slightly swollen, but she was still beautiful. “I don‟t think I can eat anything,” she croaked out. I chuckled and handed her the orange juice and a couple of Aspirin. “Take these and drink all the juice. Please, just try to eat some toast. You need something in your stomach or you‟re going to feel worse,” I said. She nodded and took a careful sip from her glass. She looked up at me with surprise. “Hand squeezed? I‟m impressed,” she smiled widely. Gently, I sat down next to her and brushed her hair over her shoulder. “Only the best for you, Love,” I whispered before kissing her cheek. Bella finished her juice and ate both pieces of toast before flopping back down onto the bed. I ran my fingers slowly through her tangled mess as she cuddled against my leg and sighed a „thank you‟. “How are you feeling?” I asked. Bella looked up at me and smiled. “Much better,” she said. She closed her eyes and buried her face in my thigh. “I‟m sorry about last night,” she said quietly. “Why?” “Well, I kind of came on a little strong,” I could see her cheeks glow crimson at the mention of what we had done the night before and I found myself smiling. “Yes, yes you did,” I said with a chuckle. “But don‟t be sorry. I was very much a willing participant.” I tilted her head up to look at me. There was relief written on her face, so I bent down and kissed her with a little more force than she was probably expecting. The thought of what she had done to my body the pervious night had the lower half of me hard and longing to be touched again. I laid down until I was stretched out beside her and slipped my hand under the t-shirt she was

wearing. I groaned when my hand slid over the bare skin of her hips, forgetting that her panties were currently on my bedroom floor. Her tongue collided with mine and I sucked it into my mouth, caressing it with my own. I felt her hands pushing gently on my chest, so I pulled away enough to look her in the eyes. “Did you lock the door?” she asked. I groaned and rolled over onto my back and shook my head. “No,” I said. I started to get up to lock the door and finish what we had started, but her hand grabbed onto my wrist and she looked apologetically at me. “We should probably get up,” she whispered. I glanced down at the erection that was currently pushing against my jeans and chuckled to myself. “I‟m already up,” I said. She let out a little giggle and leaned in to kiss me gently. “I‟m sorry,” she said. “We can take care of that later if you want?” Her hand snaked down and rubbed over the straining fabric. I quickly grasped her hand in mine, bringing it up to my lips and kissed it softly. “We need to slow things down or I‟m going to end up ripping your clothes off and having my dirty way with you,” I said as I nuzzled her neck. “Hmmmm, I like dirty boys,” she said in a purr that went straight to my cock. “You are a dangerous creature, Isabella,” I whispered. “I have other plans, though.” “Plans? What kind of plans?” she asked curiously. “I already told you last night. You do remember last night, don‟t you?” “Of course I remember last night,” she said, before hiding her face in my arm. I chuckled while I grasped her chin in my hand and tilted her head until she was looking in my eyes. “The next time I make love to you, it‟s going to be something you will never forget.” I watched her eyes soften and her hand came up to run across my back in a tender caress. “I don‟t want to ruin or next 'first time' with a hormone driven romp.” She nodded her head in agreement and I bent down and kissed her softly. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Bella recovered remarkably well and was up and about by noon. We spent the afternoon taking the kids back to their favorite park in Monterey and then took the paddle boats out on the lake. Anthony and Seth were having races against Liz and I was surprised when Liz beat both of them, since she wasn‟t really that athletic. Bella insisted on making dinner, so after stopping by the grocery store, we made our way back to my house. All the kids helped carry the groceries up to the house and then disappeared into Tony‟s room to play games. “So, how exactly do you make Chicken Cordon Bleu?” I asked. Bella rolled her eyes as she set all of the items she would need on the counter. “It sounds more complicated than it is. I think even you can make it,” she said with a smirk. “Hardy, har, har,” I said sarcastically. I flipped on the iPod sitting in the doc in the kitchen, then wrapped my arms around her waist and looked over her shoulder. “Show me. I want to learn how to cook and who better to

show me, than you?” I watched as she pounded out the chicken, explaining that it needed to be thinner and tenderized so that it would roll up better, then she slapped a piece of ham and Swiss cheese on it before rolling it up and securing with toothpicks. “See, it‟s fairly simple. Then you just roll it in some bread crumbs and viola, it‟s ready,” she said. I nuzzled her neck as she worked on the rest of them while music from the nineties floated through the kitchen. Bella quietly hummed along to a song as her hips swayed gently across mine. When she was finished with the last chicken breast and had washed her hands, I flipped her around until she was in my arms and pressed her up against the counter. “You're a little feisty today,” she whispered with a giggle. I kissed her soundly in response. Her arms wrapped around my neck and I felt her fingers softly caress the back of my neck. We broke away and she held my gaze as a slow song began to play. “Dance with me?” I asked. She gently smiled at me and nodded as I pulled her closer and stepped away from the counter. I swung her around quickly and she let out a small squeal. Twirling her again, I rounded the island and felt a sudden urge to tell her that I loved her. She was slightly flushed with excitement and her eyes were twinkling with adoration. I dipped her low and she squealed again as her foot came up to counterbalance my move. I kissed her neck while she was down and heard a contented sigh come from her. Slowly, I pulled her up until her eyes were level with mine. I took a deep breath before I opened my heart to her, when I heard a small gasp come from the doorway. Bella and I quickly looked over to the door and Liz was standing there with tears running down her face. She shook her head quietly back and forth and then turned and fled from the room. Bella stiffened in my arms and pulled away. I ran my hands over her arm and then headed towards the stairs. “I don‟t know why she got upset,” I mumbled under my breath. “She seemed to be fine with us being together.” “Maybe I should talk to her?” “No, I need to find out what‟s wrong,” I said as I turned to go talk to my daughter. “Edward,” Bella said sternly, causing me to stop and turn to look at her. “I love her, too. I want to help, if I can.” I was slightly stunned by the authority that she held in her voice. It was obvious that Bella was going to fight for what she believed to be the best thing for Liz, and I loved her all the more for it. Nodding, we both made our way up to Elizabeth‟s room. I knocked once and heard her muffled cries, so I let myself in. Elizabeth‟s back was facing us and I could see her little shoulders shaking with sobs. I glanced over at Bella and she was standing by the door, giving us some space, just in case Liz didn‟t want her around. I placed my hand on Liz‟s shoulder and she let out a large hiccup. “Baby, what‟s the matter?” I asked. Elizabeth‟s head shook violently back and forth, letting me know that she didn‟t want to talk about whatever was bothering her. However, we had been silent for too long in this house and I wasn‟t going to let her push away her feelings and remain quiet. “Elizabeth, we need to talk about what has upset you. Do you remember what Heidi and Peter talked about, when they said that holding your feelings inside would only make things worse?” I asked. Liz sniffed into her pillow and then nodded. “I think that we should talk about what happened downstairs.” Elizabeth wiped her eyes and then rolled over until she was facing me. Her eyes landed on Bella and her lip quivered before she looked back at

me. “I can go if you want me to,” Bella whispered. I glanced over my shoulder at Bella and she looked torn between wanting to stay and not wanting to make Liz feel uncomfortable. I looked back at Liz and she was biting her lip in thought. “It‟s okay, Liz. If you want to just talk to me, Bella can go downstairs,” I reassured. Elizabeth looked over at Bella for a moment and then back at me before shaking her head. “No, she can stay,” she whispered. I let out a breath I didn‟t know that I had been holding and looked back at Bella. She had an understanding smile on her face that was filled with relief. I motioned her over and she sat on the edge of Liz‟s bed with me. “What happened, sweetheart?” I asked Liz. She looked nervously at me and then Bella. I could tell that she was uncomfortable talking about whatever was on her mind. Slowly, she sat up and hugged her knees to her chest. “I remember you dancing like that with mom in the kitchen,” she whispered. I racked my brain to remember what she might have been talking about, but was coming up short on a memory. I remembered dancing with Tanya throughout the house on many occasions, but I don‟t know why that would be such a trigger for her. I glanced over at Bella and saw the worry clearly etched across her features. “What do you remember?” I asked, turning back to Liz. “I remember you dancing in the kitchen and bending mom over, like you did Bella. I can still remember mom‟s laugh,” she whispered as a tear slid down her cheek. Liz buried her face back into her legs. Bella‟s hand reached out and tentatively touched Liz‟s knee. “Liz, I think I need to tell you the same thing I told your dad,” Bella whispered. Elizabeth lifted her head and rested her chin on the knee that Bella wasn‟t touching. “Even though you see me doing things that your mom did, I would never want to replace her. She‟s a part of this family and her love has molded each of you into who you are. I love you and Tony, and I just hope that someday you‟ll be able to give me some of that love in return.” Liz looked closely at Bella for a moment before pulling herself to her knees and crawling over to her. I watched in stunned silence as Liz climbed into Bella‟s lap and buried her face in her chest. Bella wrapped her arms around her and rested her chin on the top of her head as a tear slipped down her cheek. I felt like the intruder as I watched Bella stroke Liz‟s back gently and whisper soothingly into her ear. After several minutes, Liz pulled away and turned to look at me. “I love you, daddy,” she whispered. I reached out and ran my fingers through her hair. “I love you too, sweetheart,” I said. After sitting together quietly, a thought came to my mind. “Liz?” I questioned. She turned completely around in Bella‟s lap until she was sitting with her back resting up against Bella‟s chest. “What do you think about Bella coming to talk to Heidi with me when I meet with her this week?” I asked. “Is that the one that you talk about the things to do with me?” Liz asked. She was very perceptive and even though I never told her what Heidi and I talked about in our monthly meetings, she had obviously caught on. I nodded. Elizabeth shrugged slightly. “I don‟t care.” “I think it‟s a good idea,” Bella confirmed. “That way I can learn what I need to do to make things better between

us. I don‟t want to upset you, Liz.” Elizabeth nodded and looked up at Bella over her shoulder. “I‟m sorry, Bella. I didn‟t mean to hurt your feelings,” Liz whispered. “You didn‟t hurt my feelings. Why would you think that you did?” “Because I talked about mom. Daddy always got sad when I talked about mom and I could see that you were sad, too.” I felt that familiar pang of regret and anger at myself for what I had put my kids through. She was still scared that by talking about Tanya, she would upset everyone around her. I supposed things like this took time. She just needed reassurance until she understood that she could share her feelings about her mom. “Honey, I wasn‟t upset that you talked about your mom. I was worried about you and that you were upset,” Bella told her. “Really?” Liz asked. Bella squeezed her closer to her and nodded her head. “Yep. I just want us to be friends,” Bella said. “Do you think we can be friends?” “You already are my friend,” Liz said quietly. I felt my heart soar at her admission, and with Bella coming to therapy, things could only get better. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Bella Swan-Black I had told Edward that I would meet him at his therapy session with Liz‟s therapist, but I was running late due to issues that needed my immediate attention at work. I pulled in to the office parking lot and hurried inside. The receptionist led me to an office that Heidi and Edward were already talking quietly in. “I‟m so sorry I‟m late. I couldn‟t get out of work,” I commented. Edward stood with a big smile; taking my hand, he led me to the couch. Heidi was a beautiful woman that reminded me of Rosalie in that they both could have walked off a runway in Milan. She extended her hand to me and I took it. “It‟s nice to finally meet you, Bella,” she said. Her voice was alluring, and I wondered briefly if Edward paid any attention to the fact that she was attractive. I pushed my insecurities down and smiled back at her. “I‟m really glad to be here. I don‟t know if Edward told you yet, but we had a small set back with Liz and we realized that it might be best if I came to talk to you about how I could help her as well,” I said. Edward squeezed my hand and I looked at him. His eyes held a reassurance that told me that he was happy that I was here. “Yes, Edward told me about Liz getting upset. Something you did that reminded her of her mother. This is probably going to happen frequently. You both handled the situation perfectly. It may not be as easy in the future, but I suggest you keep an open line of communication with her. She will need to be reassured over and over again that you don‟t want to replace her mother and that you will still be there for her, even when she doesn‟t handle situations the way she should,” Heidi said. We discussed different ways that I could incorporate Tanya in my bonding time with Liz and I told her about my plans for taking her shopping to pick out a wedding gift for Alice. Heidi was a wealth of information and I felt comfortable talking to her about my concerns. She walked us through a few role playing scenarios, just in case we encountered any of the outbursts from before, then Edward and I left her office hand in hand.

“That went really well,” he said as he opened my car door for me. I leaned against the side of my car and he placed his hands on my hips, leaning up against me. I nodded, agreeing with his assessment. “I think so, too. Would it be okay if I come again?” I asked. Edward bent down and kissed me softly. “I would love for you to come again,” he whispered against my lips in a seductive voice. My heart picked up at the double entendre. His body pressed further into me and I could feel every inch of his desire pressed into my stomach. “Have I told you how much I love it that you care about my kids? I don‟t think I realized how completely sexy Mama Bear is until this moment,” he said, before kissing me again. I moaned into his mouth as his lips danced across mine. A passing thought, that we were outside in a public parking lot, flitted across my mind but I didn‟t care at that moment. He deepened the kiss and my hands went to his hair. I tugged gently, pulling him closer until I heard his chuckle. He pulled away and smiled back at me. “What are your plans today?” he asked. I swallowed the retort that was sitting on the end of my tongue and took a deep breath to calm my racing heart. “I need to pick up Alice and Jasper's wedding gift. Would you mind calling Liz and asking her if she would like to go with me?” I asked. Edward smiled before flipping open his phone. My eyes traveled down to his perfect rear when he turned away and I couldn‟t help the small sigh that escaped. “She‟d love to,” Edward said. I looked up at him, lost in my own little fantasy of my hands holding onto that perfect ass as he laid on top of me, our naked bodies intertwined. “Huh? I‟m sorry, what was that?” I asked. He chuckled before taking my hand and pulling me into him. “If you weren‟t paying so much attention to my ass and had been listening to the conversation, you‟d know that Liz would love to go with you to pick up a wedding gift,” he said with a laugh. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks at being caught, yet again, staring at him, but I wasn‟t going to let a little embarrassment make me feel uncomfortable around him. “Well, if you didn‟t have such a cute ass,” I said, reaching down and pinching his butt. “Then I wouldn‟t be staring at it all the time.” He jumped slightly at my playful pinch and then kissed my nose, choosing to ignore my comment. “You can follow me over to Emmett‟s and I‟ll take the boys while you and Liz go have some girl time,” he said. Edward helped me into my car and we made our way to Emmett‟s house, where Liz was waiting on the porch for us to arrive. She was in my car before I had time to put it in park. Edward leaned down in the window and looked over at Liz. “Have a good time,” he said to her. Her smile lit up her face as she nodded enthusiastically. Edward looked at me and leaned in, giving me a chaste kiss. “I‟ll have dinner ready when you get back to the house.” Liz and I looked at each other and wrinkled our nose at the same time before looking back at him. He caught on to our unspoken distaste and rolled his eyes. “I‟m ordering takeout, don‟t worry.” Liz and I giggled as he slapped the top of the car and we pulled away. “So, what do you think I should get Alice and Jasper?” I asked Liz as we pulled into the Del Monte Shopping Center. “Hmmmm, Jasper likes to cook. So maybe something for the kitchen?” she asked but then shook her head. “He‟s probably got everything he needs, but I went with Aunt Ali to Macy‟s and we picked out a bunch of stuff. She let me use the little gun to scan the codes.”

“Perfect. We‟ll head over there first and see what‟s on her list,” I said. We parked the car and Liz took my hand as we walked into the store. I went to the registry department and printed out a list of all the things Alice and Liz had put on it. Most of the items were things to go with her china pattern but then a few things popped out at me. “So, she has a crystal vase, a digital photo frame and a keepsake box on the list,” I said. I glanced at Liz and she was bouncing excitedly. “I know where each one of those are,” she said. Liz grabbed my hand and pulled me over to the vases, then pointed to a beautiful vase that stood about eighteen inches high. I gently picked it up, turned it over and then almost dropped it when I noticed the price. I set it back down and looked at the registry. There in the far right column was the price that I hadn‟t noticed before. “That‟s a little out of my price range,” I said. Liz looked at it and nodded. “I think Nana and Papa are going to get the keepsake box for them, but don‟t tell her,” Liz whispered as if someone would hear. I chuckled and took her hand. “Why don‟t you show me the picture frames?” Liz led me over to a wall that had regular frames and then some digital ones. They were a little pricey, but much more affordable than the crystal vase and I had a thought about Liz helping me pick out pictures for it. “Which one do you like?” I asked Liz. She carefully looked at each one and then pointed to a pretty silver framed one with flowers and the word “Family, Friends, Love” etched into it. “So if I get this, will you help me pick out pictures for it?” Liz let out a little squeal and bounced up and down. “Yes! I‟ve been going through lots of pictures with daddy and I know exactly which ones to put in it,” she said happily. I smiled, pulled down the frame and we quickly paid for it and went back to Edward‟s house. When we arrived, Liz ran into the house and disappeared up the stairs while I brought my purchase into the kitchen to find Edward fiddling with the stove. “You promised you weren‟t cooking,” I teased. He turned around quickly and gave me a large smile before it turned into a scowl. “I‟m not cooking, I was just keeping it warm until you two got home,” he said. His words struck me as so familiar. Until we got home. I was sure that he didn‟t mean anything by them, but they still hit me as profound. I wanted, more than anything, to come home to him. He took me in his arms and kissed me gently. “Did you find what you were looking for?” “Yes, we did. Liz is looking for pictures to put in the frame. I‟ll have to scan them, so is it okay if I take them home and bring them back later?” “Of course, Love,” he whispered before tenderly kissing me again. I was suddenly hit from behind by a force that I was all too familiar with. I looked down and Seth had his arms wrapped around my waist, looking up at me. Anthony stood off to the side looking on quietly. “Hey there, honey. Did you miss me?” I asked with a chuckle. Edward let go of me and I turned to Seth as he gave my waist another squeeze. “Yep, I missed you,” he said quickly. “Can we have a sleepover again?” I chuckled at his method of trying to

soften me up with physical affection, before dropping the bomb of what he was really asking for. I looked over at Edward and he had a big grin on his face while he nodded his approval. “That‟s fine, but I have work in the morning, so I should probably go after dinner,” I said. I glanced over at Edward and his smile was replaced with a cute pout. “Are you sure you don‟t want to stay? The guest room is still available,” he pleaded. I knew, just as well as he did, that if I stayed I wouldn‟t be sleeping in the guest room. However much that sounded like a fantastic thing, I knew that we needed to slow things down after our weekend together. “I really should go home,” I said. Seth and Anthony disappeared, so Edward took me in his arms again. “I would make it worth your while if you stayed,” he said seductively. His nose grazed my ear before he placed a kiss below it. I felt my resolve slipping. Why was he pushing so bad, when he was the one that said he wanted it to be special? I pushed on him and decided to ask that question. “I thought you wanted to wait? I was assuming that you have some kind of plans for our weekend away,” I asked. He nodded but continued to kiss down my neck until he reached my collar bone. “I do,” he whispered. “But that doesn‟t mean we can‟t spend some time together. Curled up, in each other's arms.” I groaned and shoved at his chest. “You are impossible. You know very well that you're irresistible,” I said in a huff. He chuckled and pulled me back into him. “Irresistible, you say?” he asked. “You think I‟m irresistible?” He nipped at my ear lobe and I could feel his hot breath against my skin, cause gooseflesh to form on my arms. “Oh, shut up. You know you are,” I said quickly. I leaned further into him, feeling every hard muscle pressed up against my body. “If I was so irresistible then you‟d stay,” he concluded. “I‟m not eighteen anymore. I can control those urges.” “Hmmmm, really?” he hummed in my ear. I felt the little bit of self control I had, start to slip. “Yes, really,” I answered in a breathy whisper. Edward moved his mouth to mine and he kissed the corner before we heard the patter of little feet run down the stairs. I pushed him back, just enough to be presentable, as Liz walked in the kitchen with a handful of photo albums and some loose photos that were starting to fall out of her hands. I quickly caught them before they hit the floor and walked with her to the dining room table. “Ok, so I found a bunch of pictures of Alice and Jasper and some of all of us together, and there is the picture from the shower last weekend,” Elizabeth was talking a million miles a minute as she laid out all of the photos she had collected on the table. I looked them over, one by one, and smiled at a silly photo of Alice on Edward‟s shoulders. “Where was that one taken?” I asked. Edward came over and sat down, taking the photo out of my hand. “That was in Nassau. We were having chicken fights in the ocean and Alice was determined to win,” he said with a chuckle. I searched through the photos and noticed that she had picked out the photo with Angela, Rose, Esme, Alice and I, overlooking the ocean on the balcony, from the weekend before. It was a beautiful photo.

“Didn‟t you pick out any with your mother in them?” I asked when I noticed that there weren‟t any of Tanya. “I didn‟t know if you wanted to put one in,” Liz said quietly. “I think it would be a good idea, don‟t you?” I asked. “Your mother was very much a part of Alice‟s life. I think she would love to have her picture in her frame.” Liz smiled brightly up at me and opened one of the photo albums she had brought down. “I don‟t know which one to pick,” Liz said. I glanced over at Edward and he had a slightly sad look in his eyes. I wondered what he was thinking, but didn‟t think it was an appropriate time to ask. I slid closer to Liz so we could look in the album together. The pictures were mainly of Edward and Tanya. There weren‟t any pictures of the children, so I assumed these were from before they were born. As we went through the pages, I realized that it was of their courtship. I looked up at Edward and he was watching me closely. I smiled reassuringly at him, but he gave me a half hearted smile and then excused himself to get dinner ready. Liz flipped through the book and we came upon their wedding photos. It was hard to look at, but in a strange way, very comforting. I almost felt a closeness to Tanya, in that we both loved the same man and I loved her children very much as well. I couldn‟t help but feel like I was replacing her in some small way; this was her family and I was stepping in and doing the things that she should have been doing. Edward never made me feel like I was anything less than completely cherished, but I wondered if I would ever have his love, completely. The kind of love that he shared with her, where he would vocalize it, instead of keeping it locked up inside of him. The kind of love he wasn‟t scared to show. Liz pulled out a picture with Tanya in her wedding dress, standing with Alice, and handed it to me. “Alice was one of my mom‟s bridesmaid‟s. I think she would like this picture,” she whispered, eyeing me carefully. I took the picture and looked at it closely. Tanya and Alice had their cheeks pressed together and large smiles adorned both of their faces. “I agree, it looks like they were very happy,” I said. I sat it down with the other ones and looked back at the album. “Are there anymore that you think Alice would like?” “Maybe the one that's on the mantel,” Liz whispered. I could feel her start to shut down and I wondered if I was doing something to cause her reaction. I realized that I hadn‟t smiled since she had pulled out the album and Edward had gotten up and left. How many mixed signals can we send this poor child? I gave her a heartwarming smile and stood up. “I think that would be perfect.” I walked into the living room and picked up the picture of Edward, Tanya and the kids and brought it back to the table. “I love this picture,” I said. Liz gave me a funny look. “Why do you love this picture?” she asked. “Well…because it shows the love you guys have for each other,” I said. I slipped the photo from the frame and set it on the table between us. “Just because your mom is gone, doesn‟t mean that any of you should love her any less. This picture reminds you of that.” Liz closed the photo album and then stood up and wrapped her arms around my waist. “Thank you, Bella,” she whispered into my shirt. I rubbed her back and then brought her face up until she was looking at me. “I meant what I said about not replacing your mom. I love you Elizabeth, but I know that your mother will be

forever your mom.” She smiled up at me and then released me to clean up the photo albums. I went into the kitchen to find Edward staring out the window. I wrapped my arms around his chest and he rubbed my arm affectionately. “Did you get everything that you needed?” he asked, still not looking at me. “I did,” I said pulling away. He turned and took me I his arms. “You ran away again. I don‟t know what‟s going on with you, but you ducked out and Liz recognized it,” I whispered just in case she was close by. He rested his forehead on mine with his eyes closed and he took in a long breath. “It‟s just hard sometimes. I know it‟s completely irrational, but sometimes I still feel that guilt of moving on,” he said. His eyes opened and what I saw was a man that was tormented. Even though he had come a long way, there were still demons that he needed to deal with. “Alec said its survivor‟s guilt. I know what it is, but that doesn‟t mean that it doesn‟t torture me all the same.” I had a feeling, with the way that he fled earlier, that when he faced those demons, it was going to be the thing that either brought us closer or destroyed our relationship. I ran my fingers through his hair. “I‟m here. You can talk to me about anything,” I whispered. He smiled a sad smile and kissed my lips softly. “I know, but I need to deal with some things on my own.” I wondered if he was avoiding whatever was bothering him by pushing me away, but unless he talked to me there wasn‟t a lot I could do. I pulled him closer, needing to feel the security that came from being in his arms. He bent down and kissed me with more force than he had previously, almost as if he was clinging to the same need that I was. “Please stay?” he whispered as he pulled back. “I just want you in my arms tonight.” I nodded, not being able to deny the need I heard in his voice or my own desire to feel wanted and loved. He brushed a strand of hair away from my face and kissed me again before pulling out dinner that he kept warm in the oven. Later that evening, after the children had gone to bed, he was true to his word and held me tight. He gently stroked my face in a loving caress. “Bella?” he whispered. I looked up to see his eyes glistening in the moonlight. “Thank you for loving my children.” I felt my own tears sting my eyes as I nodded, unable to trust that my voice wouldn‟t crack. My last thought before drifting off to sleep was that I never wanted to leave his side again.

~*~

Chapter 44 The wedding Bella Swan-Black The last couple weeks of summer were spent with Edward and his family. Buddy was enjoying the time we had spent at Edward‟s and had decided to make himself at home by digging up all the flowers in his back yard. Edward was a good sport about it, but I was seriously considering tying him up and not letting him have free reign of his surroundings. We hung out with his parents and I found an easy camaraderie with Esme. She reveled in bringing up

embarrassing moments from Edward‟s childhood. Edward would always find a way to excuse himself and I was beginning to notice that avoidance was his preferred method of dealing with difficult situations. Edward and I had many outings with the kids before they went back to school. We took them to Santa Cruz and watched as they rode the Giant Dipper at the Boardwalk, over and over, until they were all sick. We went down to Cambria and toured Hearst Castle, then played on the beach for the rest of the afternoon before traveling home. We also made it to the Children‟s Discovery Museum in San Jose. Most nights, Seth and I went home, but on those times that we had a „sleepover‟, I would always snuggle with Edward during the night and end up in the guest room before the kids woke up in the morning. Things hadn‟t progressed since the night of the bridal shower. Edward had the restraint of a saint. School started and we fell into a comfortable routine: Edward would pick the kids up from school, and then after work, I would go over and make dinner. We‟d play with the kids, and then Seth and I would go home. Alice was in full wedding mode and it was getting harder and harder for her to help out. It turned out that Esme was an avid scrapbooker and her enthusiasm sucked all of us into her addiction. I was surprised at all of the supplies that she had. She would point to a large black tote and inform me that she didn‟t go anywhere without it. The albums she showed me were just as impressive. She was starting to scrap her children‟s high school years. It was fun to see the family unity they shared, but if I was being honest, I was completely enthralled with seeing pictures of Edward as a hunky teenager. She had pictures of him from his baseball years and a few productions he had been in, along with his prom pictures. I giggled at the girls with the big hair and puffy sleeved dresses. Our „scrapbooking time‟ was another great way to include Liz and bring out more memories of her mother. I helped her pick out photos she wanted to scrapbook and Esme would help her put the pages together during our sessions. Alice spent her time making an album of her and Jasper‟s courtship that she planned on displaying at the wedding. I, being completely inept in the crafting arts, simply slapped pictures of Seth in an album and wrote my memories of the particular events. Things with Liz were getting better. I tried to take advantage of the quiet moments and ask about her mother. Edward learned his lesson and would stay and encourage Liz and Tony to open up. At first, I could see that it was difficult for him and I think that was due to him not wanting to upset me, but the more I engaged in conversation with Liz, the more he relaxed. However, things in the Cullen house weren‟t always sunshine and roses. We had several moments when things were tense and Liz would break down in tears over something that was said. The upside was that she was learning to express her emotions and not hold everything in or place blame. Heidi recommended that we give her some sort of sign that she could hang up on her bedroom door on days that she was missing her mother or just felt down. When she hung the sign, we would know not to push her to talk or just give her some space. By implementing this new process, things ran much more smoothly. Edward and I knew when to be more cautious and the boys knew when to stay out of her way. I continually reinforced that I wanted to help her retain her memories of her mother, but also wanted to build a relationship with her too. Hopefully, someday, she would feel comfortable coming to me when she needed a friend, or mom-like advice. Liz and Seth were like siblings. Seth would do something to annoy her and she would let him have it with both barrels, just like she did with Tony. Thankfully, it didn‟t happen often and I was proud of my son for biting his tongue on several occasions to keep things from escalating.

Before we knew it, the day of the wedding had arrived. Alice had taken Liz and Rose to the spa in the morning to get ready, so when Seth and I arrived at Edward‟s house it was pretty calm. “Hey beautiful,” Edward greeted me with a kiss. He turned to Seth and held out his fist for a bump. “Hey Storm, you look pretty handsome yourself.” I looked down at Seth just as he rolled his eyes and then bumped fists with Edward. I had a horrible time convincing him that he needed to wear the white shirt and tie I bought him specifically for the wedding. “Anthony‟s in his room, if you want to head on up.” Seth looked somewhat relieved as he ran for the stairs. “Seth,” I called out. He paused on the second stair and turned to look at me. “No dirt and no critters. I want you clean when we leave,” I said. He nodded once and then ran up the rest of the stairs. Edward turned to me and his gaze traveled down my body. I felt the heat rise to my face with his scrutinizing gaze. “You really look amazing, Love,” he whispered. I glanced down at the dress I picked up last week on a shopping trip with Alice. It was midnight blue and a lot more formal than I wore for my own wedding. It was strapless and softly draped between my breasts until it extended to the floor. The back was completely bare except for two double bands of ribbon that crisscrossed across each other. I looked back up into his blazing green eyes and smiled. “Thanks. You don‟t look half bad yourself,” I said. He had everything but his jacket on from his crisp black tuxedo. Instead of the traditional bow tie, he wore a solid black silk tie that disappeared under the high cut vest. I could tell he tried to tame his bronze locks, but it just didn‟t look right. I stepped closer to him and brought my fingers up until they gently ran through his hair. “You tried too hard,” I whispered. After a moment, his eyes closed and enjoyed the feeling as I pulled his hair back into the organized mess that seemed to fit him better. When I was done, I leaned up on my tip toes and kissed him on the lips. He let out a long sigh that made me smile, before he opened his eyes and took my hand. “Do you have everything for our trip?” he asked as he led me to the living room. “I do. Seth has his own bag packed, so I‟ll have to make sure that we get it out of my car before we leave. I wish you would have told me where we were going, so I had a better idea of what to pack,” I whined. He chuckled as he pulled me to sit with him on the sofa. “I told you to pack what you would normally wear during the day and a dress for dinner tomorrow. We aren‟t going far from the reception,” he said. The wedding and reception were both going to be held at Nepenthe, which sat on a cliff overlooking the ocean in Big Sur. Liz and I had taken a ride with Alice yesterday to make sure everything was in place and it was breathtaking. I had been anticipating this trip for weeks. Every time Edward would pull away when we started to get too close to giving in to the sexual tension, he would remind me of our trip. We had been ready to take things to the next level for awhile, but between work and kids, it never felt like the right time. Edward nuzzled my neck with his nose before placing a kiss under my ear. “Are you sure Esme is okay with keeping Seth?” I asked again. I felt his breath float across my neck when he sighed in exasperation, before pulling away and looking at me. “Bella, my mother is thrilled to spoil another child. She loves Seth. Stop worrying,” he chided. “We should probably get going,” he said. Before he stood up, his lips found mine in a lingering kiss that left me slightly breathless.

He called up the stairs to let the boys know it was time to go, and I couldn‟t hold in the „awwww‟ that escaped when Tony came down in a tuxedo that matched Edward‟s. Seth had a big grin on his face, while Tony looked a bit apprehensive. I smiled widely at how cute he looked. As he hit the bottom stair, I walked over and knelt in front of him while reaching for his tie. Carefully, I tightened the knot and patted his chest affectionately. Tony‟s eyes lit up and he smiled happily before his arms went around my waist and he hugged me. “Thank you, Bella,” he whispered. I ran my fingers through his hair and then squeezed him a little closer to me. Anthony was always such a good kid and I felt guilty that he sometimes was forgotten about with Liz‟s drama and Seth‟s mischief. “Look mom, Tony‟s a penguin. Maybe you can take him to the aquarium and feed him fish,” he said with a laugh. I scowled at Seth over Anthony‟s head and was about to let him have it, when Edward started chuckling. I glanced at him and then Tony pulled away and they both had wide grins on their faces. I bit back my reprimand and let it go as harmless teasing. Edward led me to his car with his hand securely placed on the small of my back and then went to get our bags out of my car. The boys jumped into the backseat, the excitement of the wedding making them more talkative than usual. After Edward helped me into the car, he ran back around and slid into his seat. Edward took my hand and brought it to his lap as we drove out of Carmel and down Highway One toward Big Sur. The boys chatted happily in the back while we enjoyed the beautiful ocean view. When were about ten minutes from Nepenthe, Edward‟s grip on my hand tightened slightly, causing me to look over at him. His eyes were focused on the road, but he clenched his jaw tightly. I ran my thumb over his hand and he glanced over at me before giving me an apologetic smile and then loosened his grip. “Are you okay?” I asked. I wasn‟t sure what had gotten into him. He nodded and gave me a half hearted smile. “I‟m fine, Love,” he whispered before bringing my hand up to his lips and kissing it gently. He didn‟t seem to want to talk about what was bothering him, so I let it go. We pulled into Nepenthe and Edward hurried around to open my door. He took my hand as I stepped out and then wrapped it around his arm before kissing my cheek softly. “Have I told you how stunning you look?” he asked. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Stunning? No. Beautiful and Amazing? Yes,” I said with a smirk. He chuckled as he led us toward the garden patio where the ceremony would take place. The boys were running around the grounds, stopping to search for bugs when I reminded them that they were to stay clean or Alice would be very disappointed. Most of the chairs were already occupied by the wedding guests, but the front rows were left open for close family. Edward guided us toward the front and picked our seats. I noticed Angela and Ben as we walked down the aisle and she gave me a small wave before her hand grasped Ben‟s again. Esme and Carlisle were already sitting in the front row and Esme took my hand in greeting as I sat down. “Bella, sweetheart. Isn‟t this exciting?” she whispered in an enthusiastic voice. I nodded and smiled just as Rosalie came into view with Elizabeth. Rose was in a beautiful one shouldered, red dress. The bodice was gathered to hug every curve and the fabric draped elegantly over her hips until it rested at the ground. When she turned to take Elizabeth‟s hand, I saw that there were three diagonal thin straps going across the back.

Elizabeth looked beautiful with her hair pulled up in a twist that looked almost identical to Rosalie‟s. She wore a pretty white dress that had layers and layers of tulle at the skirt and fine beading around the neckline, topped with a wide red satin sash. She caught my gaze and smiled brightly as Rose pulled her down the aisle. “Esme, Ali is really nervous and sitting down in the limo until we‟re ready. Maybe you should go talk to her,” Rosalie suggested. Esme nodded and quickly started down the aisle to the path that led to the parking lot. Before she was out of view, she turned and addressed Edward. “You should probably go check on Jasper. He was looking a bit nervous a little while ago and Carlisle sent him to get a drink at the bar,” she said with a small laugh, before disappearing down the path. Edward kissed my cheek quickly and went to help his friend. “You both look lovely,” I said. Rose smiled and nodded her thanks before excusing herself to find her husband. Liz sat with me, Seth and Tony, and told us all about her day and how she had gotten her hair done and a pedicure. She kicked off her shoes to show me her toes. After several minutes, a piano started playing. I turned to find Edward sitting at a beautiful grand piano that had been pushed out onto the patio just a few feet away from our seats. He looked up at me and gave me a wink and a smile before he focused on the song that he was playing. I could have sat and watched him play all night. His eyes closed briefly as he felt the song while his fingers glided over the keys. I recognized the music as Clair de Lune once the melody picked up. He swayed slightly on the bench, while I marveled at his talent. I had never heard him play like this. I knew he played because I had been at the house while he gave Liz piano lessons, and he had played around a bit with the songs he was teaching her, but I hadn‟t heard his talent shine like it did at this moment. “Okay, Liz. It‟s time for us to get ready. Anthony, you too,” Rose said quickly. I helped Liz straighten her dress and then watched as they made their way to their places. Esme came rushing in a moment later and sat down next to me. “She looks so beautiful,” she whispered, and I noticed a tear in her eye. Jasper and Emmett walked to the front and stood with the minister. Jasper must have gotten over his case of nerves because he looked fantastic in his all black tuxedo. It was exactly the same as Edward‟s, except he wore a white tie. Emmett gave me a big grin as Edward changed the song to something a little softer when Anthony and Liz came down the aisle. Liz gently dropped red rose petals down the white covered aisle while Anthony walked calmly next to her. When they reached the end, Tony and Liz took their seats. My eyes returned to the end of the aisle as Rosalie emerged from around the corner. She smiled brilliantly to the front and I turned in time to catch Emmett give her a wink. When she reached the front, she turned and Edward started playing the Wedding March, with his own little flare. Everyone in the audience stood and waited with bated breath for the bride to emerge. There was an audible gasp throughout the crowd when we got our first glimpse of Alice. Her normally spiky hair was pulled back into a sleek style with a diamond clip that held a short veil in place. She wore a satin A-line dress with a beaded lace halter top. A split up the front of the skirt opened up to more beaded lace and fell to the floor with a short train trailing behind her. What I found most fascinating and completely stunning was the red sash that went around her waist with the tails trailing down the back. She was simply glowing and the love that radiated off her and towards Jasper was almost too much to bear. Carlisle looked as if he was going to burst with pride as her arm was wrapped around his. When they reached Jasper, Carlisle kissed her cheek softly, a tear trailing down his own, then placed her hand in the hand of the man that she loved before taking his seat next to Esme. I glanced over at Edward and he was staring at me intently. I couldn‟t break our gaze as we all resumed our seats and he stayed at the piano.

I always found it funny that you plan for months, only to have the actual ceremony over in fifteen minutes. Jasper and Alice both recited the vows that they had written for one another and I found myself misting up when Jasper didn‟t hold back his own tears while he expressed his love for Alice. The magnificence of the backdrop, coupled with the loving ceremony, made this one of the most beautiful events I had ever attended. Pretty soon the minister pronounced them man and wife and Jasper swept her in his arms and bent her backwards before planting a hearty kiss on her lips. Emmett was the first to encourage them on with a little whoop and cat call, causing everyone to laugh and give them a round of applause. Edward played as they exited the patio and everyone started to clear out. Seth, Anthony and Liz started to take off to explore the grounds, when Rose and Esme corralled them in and told them they could play after pictures. I walked over to stand next to Edward as he played and he slid over enough for me to sit on the bench with him. I sat down and he smiled, never missing a note. “It was a beautiful ceremony,” he whispered. I nodded my head as the song started to come to a close. “It was beautiful,” I agreed. I looked out over the patio and most of the people had vacated into the restaurant where the reception was to be held. “Rose said she wanted you to come down for pictures when you‟re done.” He hit the last note and nodded but his fingers stayed on the keys. “I wrote a song. Would you like to hear it?” “I‟d love to hear it,” I said, excited that I was going to hear something he had composed himself. It started off very haunting, but then turned quickly into a light melody that made me smile. It was remarkable. “When did you write this?” I asked. He looked up at me, and smiled. “I wrote it after we started dating. You‟re the inspiration behind it,” he admitted. I felt my heart start to race and the blood pound in my ears. He wrote me a song. “I was going to play this for you the night of the team party, but never got around to it,” he whispered. I felt a small tug at my heart. That was the night that I ended our relationship. He was going to play for me and I left him. I felt that familiar pang of guilt before looking back into his green eyes. He looked slightly perplexed. “What‟s the matter?” he asked as his fingers continued to glide across the keys. “I just caused so much hurt when I left. I‟m so sorry,” I said with a choked sob. His fingers stopped and he quickly pulled me into his arms. “Never say you're sorry for doing what you had to do. If you hadn't left, I don‟t think I would have been as determined to make things better,” he whispered against my hair. “You were my driving force. I didn‟t want to give you anything less than one hundred percent and I don‟t think I realized that until after you went away,” he said. I looked up into his face as his mouth met mine in a sweet kiss. He pulled away and his eyes roamed over my face, while he slowly stroked my cheek “Bella, I-,” he started, but was interrupted by Anthony tearing down the aisle towards us. “Dad! Dad! Aunt Ali said you better get your…um…” Tony paused, trying to find the proper word that wouldn‟t get him into trouble. “Um…she said you needed to hurry up,” he concluded. Edward looked slightly disappointed, but then smiled and stood up, offering me his hand. Pictures took about an hour, to get everyone arranged and all of the shots Alice wanted. It was cute to watch as

she and Jasper fooled around and the photographer captured their silly moments together. All of the Cullen men and the groom took several pictures and that was when I learned that Jasper didn‟t have any family in attendance. His parents had passed away when he was in his early twenties and left him with no living relatives. I felt bad for him until I saw that even though he didn‟t have blood relatives, he still had the Cullens. “Come on Bella,” Alice waved her hand at me to join the photos. I was hesitant until Liz took my hand and pulled me over to stand next to Edward. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled Liz up against his legs before pointing to the spots where Seth and Tony should stand. When the photographer got himself into position, he commented on what a beautiful family we were. I felt the sting of a blush when Edward turned to me and smiled. I liked the idea of all of us being a happy family. We finally made it into the reception and I was thankful that Edward didn‟t have to stand in the receiving line, since he technically wasn‟t part of the wedding party. As he led me to our table, an older gentleman with salt and pepper hair, and a tall, beautiful, strawberry blond woman, hailed him over. Edward looked apologetically at me as he led me to the couple who had huge smiles on their faces. “Edward, it‟s so good to see you again,” the woman said, as she pulled him into a hug. When she released Edward, the man gave him a one armed hug and then they both turned and looked expectantly at me. “I‟m sorry,” Edward began. “Carmen, Eleazar, this is Bella,” he said. “Bella, this is-“ “Grandma! Grandpa!” Tony launched himself into Eleazar‟s arms with a giggle as I put two and two together. “Tanya‟s parents,” Edward finished. Carmen turned to me with a brilliant smile and took my hand in greeting. “It‟s a pleasure to meet you dear,” she said. Her smile was genuine and I saw a hint of a twinkle in her eyes. I smiled and returned the greeting as Tony started talking about his stories from this year's baseball season. “And who is this handsome young man?” Carmen asked as Seth came up to my side. I placed my hand on his shoulder and introduced him. “Seth‟s my best friend and one day we‟re going to be brothers,” Anthony stated, as if it was common knowledge. Carmen turned a perfectly manicured eyebrow at me and then turned to Edward in question. “Bella and I have been dating and the boys are a little over zealous,” he answered her unspoken question. I felt suddenly like the other woman and wanted to find some way to excuse myself quickly. Carmen turned her attention to me and her face was unreadable as she walked up until she towered over me. “He‟s a good man,” she said nodding towards Edward. “I‟m glad to see that he‟s found a good woman.” I could see her eyes start to well up with tears before she smiled sadly and then took her husband's hand. It felt kind of strange to be accepted by my boyfriend's deceased spouse‟s parents, but at the same time I felt relief and a bit of awe at the way they had so readily accepted me. I glanced at Edward and the hesitant look he had before all but vanished, and was replaced with a heart stopping smile. “How long are you in town?” Edward asked Eleazar. “Just for the wedding, we'll drive home tonight,” he said. “We‟d really like to take the children for the weekend sometime soon, if that‟s okay,” Carmen asked.

“Yes, daddy that would be so cool,” Tony exclaimed as he wiggled in his grandfather‟s arms. “But what about Seth? Can he come, too?” I started to protest that they needed to spend time with their grandparents alone when Carmen cut me off. “Of course, Seth can come too,” she said and then smiled at me. I wasn‟t sure how I felt about that and was grateful when the sounds of tinkling glasses brought us back to the party at hand. “Okay everyone, have a seat,” Emmett‟s voice boomed out. “We‟re going to have the toast and then the bride and groom will share their first dance.” Edward took Tony from his grandfather, grasped my hand and led me to our table. After a rousing toast by Emmett and Rosalie, which took Alice and Jasper from laughter to tears, they shared their first dance together as a married couple. When the song ended, everyone clinked their spoons against their champagne glasses until Jasper and Alice shared a kiss. The dance floor soon crowded with people vying for the attention of the happy couple and Edward held out his hand to me. “Come with me?” he asked. I smiled and placed my hand in his and he gently pulled me to my feet. Leading me past all of the guests dancing on the dance floor, he opened a side door that led us to the patio that Alice and Jasper were married on earlier. The chairs had been cleared away and soft white lights twinkled in the surrounding trees. The sound of the band floated out from the reception as Edward pulled me into his arms. His fingers caressed the exposed flesh of my back as he slowly twirled us around the stone floor. I wasn‟t much of a dancer, but with Edward it seemed effortless. The hand that rested on my back gently pushed me in the direction that he wanted to go. I had danced before, but not with someone that knew how to lead. His warm breath teased my ear as he began to sing softly with the band, his arm tightening around my waist. “I don‟t want to miss one smile I don‟t want to miss one kiss I just want to be with you Right here with you, just like this I just want to hold you close Feel your heart so close to mine And just stay here in this moment For all the rest of time” I smiled to myself at the words that the song implied. Edward pulled away and I looked up into his beautiful emerald eyes. Everything about this man made my heart flutter. “Bella,” he breathed with a longing sigh. His eyes traveled across my face as if he was memorizing every detail. “I need to tell you what‟s in my heart. What‟s been there for a long time, but the timing never seemed right,” he whispered. My breath caught in my throat as I realized what he might mean. “I love you, Isabella. With every single fiber of my being, I love you.” His simple declaration sent my heart racing and I felt the tears start to form. What I saw reflected back was only a confirmation of what I knew. I pulled my hand from his neck and stroked his jaw as he gazed back at me. “Oh, Edward,” I whispered. “It feels like I‟ve loved you forever.” His smile grew as my words sunk in and he pulled me even closer. He slowly bent down and his lips brushed against mine. I sighed against his mouth as the

magnitude of what this meant washed over me. “I love you. I love you. I love you,” he whispered quickly, over and over again against my mouth before deepening our kiss. I was lost completely in the moment. His fingers wrapped around the back of my neck until they were wound in my hair. The pressure of his mouth gently pushed open mine and his tongue slid in with a gentle caress. My arms tightened around his neck as I threw myself into the feeling of his mouth on mine. Every part of my body tingled with anticipation. What did this mean for our relationship? Where were we going to go from here? The ridiculous doubts I had about whether I would ever hold a place in his heart started to vanish. I told him when we started dating, that I just wanted him to make room for me in his heart, and somewhere along the way, I started to lose sight of the fact that he could still love Tanya and love me as well. My insecurities at his inability to say what I already knew was in his heart had taken a toll on my self esteem. I knew he never would have said those three words unless he meant them, and that it took him longer to resolve his feelings, just showed that he was struggling more than I thought over the guilt of moving on. Edward broke the kiss and rested his forehead against mine before his eyes slowly opened and we were watching each other closely. “I don‟t do anything half way,” he whispered. “I will fight with everything I have to make you happy.” I thrilled at his words, but could only bring myself to reciprocate his statement with a nod. He kissed me softly one more time before pulling away and taking my hand. “Let‟s get out of here,” he said as we walked towards the entrance to the reception. “I don‟t want to share you with anyone for the next two days.” He led me straight to our table where Carlisle and Esme were sitting with the kids. Carlisle was in deep discussion with Anthony and Seth as he held their undivided attention. “And, it was so infected that they were crawling all over the wound,” Carlisle stated as both boys made scrunched up faces to show that they were completely grossed out. I shouldn‟t have been surprised by Seth‟s question, but I was. “Do you really have pictures? That is so cool. I want to see them,” he stated. Anthony nodded his head vigorously in agreement. I shuddered slightly, trying to rid myself of the images that were flashing through my mind. I supposed I better get used to tales of “guess what I saw in the ER today?”, if I planned on spending my life with Edward. Spending my life with Edward. That thought made me smile. “Dad, please keep the grosser than gross tales to yourself. I don‟t want to explain to Tony‟s teacher how he knew about maggots and open wounds.” I felt a shiver of disgust travel down my body as Edward confirmed what I was imagining. How in the hell did we go from confessing our love and everything being perfect and romantic, to open wounds and maggots? Oh yeah, I thought sarcastically. The joys of being a parent to a boy and a doctor for a boyfriend. Edward leaned down and kissed Esme on the cheek, then moved to her other side and kissed Elizabeth. “Bella and I are going to take off. You remember what we talked about, right?” Edward asked Liz. She nodded, then wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down so she could whisper in his ear. After a moment, he stood up and took her hand. He looked at me and smiled, before kissing my cheek softly. “I promised Liz a dance and then we‟ll go,” he whispered. I smiled and waved them on. I watched as he walked over to Carmen and Eleazar and spoke with them for a moment. Carmen hugged him and then Eleazar took his

hand in a firm grip and said something that made Edward smile and nod. He led Liz to the dance floor and propped her up on his feet while he glided across the floor with her. “Bella, have a seat,” Esme said, pulling me away from the sweet moment. She grabbed my hand and pulled me to Liz‟s vacant seat. “Wasn‟t it a beautiful ceremony?” she asked as Carlisle went back to telling the boys less disgusting stories of things he had seen in his years of being a doctor. “It was beautiful. Alice looked lovely and the scenery and venue is amazing,” I said, looking around. “Liz seems to be doing pretty well with your trip this weekend.” She looked onto the dance floor and my eyes followed hers until I saw that Edward had opted to pick Liz up and hold her as he danced around the floor, her legs swaying back and forth as he moved. “We sat down and talked to the children earlier this week about us leaving. For the most part, we‟ve kept our relationship to ourselves, but we felt it was time to let them know that things were going to start to change,” I said. “How did that go over?” “The boys were thrilled,” I said with a laugh. “I‟m not sure that didn‟t have something to do with the fact that they get to stay with you and Carlisle.” Esme smiled brightly and glanced at both boys, still completely engrossed in Carlisle. “Seth is really a great kid,” she said. Over the last month I had watched Esme treat Seth as if he was one of her grandchildren. I had even heard Seth refer to her as Nana on occasion. “How did Liz handle the news?” That question was a little more complicated. For three days after we told her, she put the sign on her door, and that‟s where it stayed until she came to me a couple of days ago. “It was hard at first. She wasn‟t mean or anything,” I said quickly, wanting to clear that up. “She just didn‟t want to talk for several days. Edward and I almost canceled our trip, but then she seemed to come around.” Esme frowned at me and shook her head. “You can‟t let her dictate what happens in the relationship between the two of you,” she said. Her tone was almost a chastisement and I felt like I was a teenager that had gotten caught doing something wrong. “Of course you need to consider the children‟s feelings, but sometimes you just need to sit down with them and let them know how it is,” she stated. “If you let Liz have the upper hand, eventually she will walk all over you.” I knew from past experiences with Seth that this was the truth. I had mistakenly given in to his whining in the grocery store when he was about three years old and after that, he would whine for something every single time we went into the store. Many times I had to leave a cart full of groceries sitting in an aisle because he wasn‟t taking no for an answer. It took several times of me leaving the store and putting him in the time out chair when we got home, before he figured out that his tantrums weren‟t going to work anymore. “I completely agree. Edward and I have actually had discussions about that. However, this was the first big step we've made to show them that we're together, so we felt the need for extra caution,” I said. Esme nodded and smiled apologetically at me. “I‟m sorry dear. I didn‟t mean to sound critical,” she apologized. Could this woman be any more perfect? She was gracious, funny, caring and humble.

“No, please don‟t apologize. I appreciate your wisdom and insight. I just hope to raise Seth so that he will grow up to be half the man that Edward is,” I said with a reassuring smile. Esme pulled me into a hug. “Thank you, Bella,” she whispered in my ear. “I can see the changes in him since you‟ve come into his life.” She pulled away and grabbed a napkin off the table to dab at her eyes. I jumped slightly when I felt Edward‟s hands on my shoulder. “Are you ready, Love?” I nodded as he held out his hand to help me to my feet. As soon as I was standing up, Liz wrapped her arms around my waist. “Have fun with daddy. Don‟t let him forget to give you your surprise,” she whispered conspiratorially to me. “I helped him pick it out,” she said proudly as she let go of my waist. Now my curiosity was completely piqued. We said our goodbyes to the boys, who barely gave us a passing glance, and then Edward led me over to the head table. “We're going to take off, sis,” Edward said as he leaned over the table and kissed Alice‟s cheek. She was completely glowing while Jasper held her hand above the table. “What‟s the matter, Eddie? You can‟t wait to get your honey to that fancy hotel?” Emmett asked. I felt myself blush. Any mention of honey usually turned me three shades of red, even if it wasn‟t in the context I was imagining. Edward didn‟t dignify Emmett‟s teasing with an answer, so Emmett turned to me. “Now Bella,” Emmett started. “When he‟s going up to bat, watch for the bunt. It‟s been awhile so he might not make it. At his age, if he bunts, you might as well take it as a strike out. You‟ll have to take the ten run rule into your own hands.” “Emmett, stop,” Edward growled. I didn‟t understand why Emmett was giving me baseball tips. He laughed heartily as Edward took my hand. “Just ignore Emmett. I do,” he whispered, but I was curious as to what the hell he was talking about. “Why was he giving me baseball tips? I don‟t have any intention of playing baseball,” I asked, then remembered I had no idea where we were going. “Unless, of course, you're taking me to a game?” Edward chuckled. He held my hand as we walked down the path to his car. “No, I promise. No baseball this weekend.” “Well then, what was he talking about?” I asked. Edward let out a long sigh as he helped me into his car. “Emmett likes to use baseball as a sexual metaphor,” Edward said as he slid into the leather seat. “So what does bunting, striking out and a ten run rule mean?” I asked, wanting to understand what Emmett was talking about. “You really don‟t want to know,” Edward said. I rolled my eyes then watched him expectantly. He pulled onto the highway and glanced at me. “Fine, you want to know?” he asked. I nodded, waiting patiently for a response. “He was teasing that the plumbing might not work as well as it used to, and if that was the case, you‟d need to

take care of your own needs,” Edward explained, before adding a few profanities with the word „Emmett‟ and „brother‟ attached to the end. I started laughing. I loved his family.

~*~

Chapter 45 Post Ranch Inn Edward Cullen I plugged the iPod into the car stereo and found the playlist I made for Bella. Bocelli floated through the car and Bella squeezed my hand before resting her head back on the seat. Her eyes closed and I had a hard time pulling my gaze from her to watch where I was driving. Everything changed with those three little words. My mind was racing with all the things I wanted to say. She was everything to me. My love for her was crystal clear in my mind. I would do anything for her. She helped me be a better person, a better parent. If it wasn‟t for the way she opened my eyes to the problems in my life, and my drive to fix them, my relationship with Liz wouldn‟t be as strong as it now was. I couldn‟t stand those few nights that she went home and left my bed empty. I wanted her with me, always. It was almost like I needed her to be whole. My mind drifted to the possibilities of how we could take our relationship further. This weekend away was only the beginning. I had a feeling that once I had her in every way imaginable, it was going to be even harder to go back to our previous arrangement. It had been a bit of a shock to see Carmen and Eleazar at the reception. I was surprised Alice hadn't mentioned they were going to be there. Why should she have had to? I should have known they would have been there and prepared Bella for meeting Tanya‟s parents. I also wasn‟t exactly sure how Carmen was going to react when she met Bella. It was tense for a moment. It could have easily gone either way. Carmen was the most critical of me when Tanya died. She gave me the third degree at the funeral, about the accident, and at that time I wasn‟t ready to talk about it. I laughed darkly to myself. I still wasn‟t ready to talk about it. When I refused to answer her questions, she slapped me and stormed out of the funeral home. She didn‟t call for a year after that. Even though I didn't have proof, I thought my mother had something to do with her finally thawing out and calling me. Carmen missed her grandchildren and I couldn‟t fault her for the grief that had driven her away. After that, things were never as friendly between us as they had been when Tanya was alive, but I knew they loved Liz and Anthony. The sad thing was that they only lived a couple of hours away, in Palo Alto. Eleazar was a professor at Stanford, where we had all gone to school. They missed out on a year of my children‟s lives, on Tanya‟s children‟s lives, because of their grief. And then it struck me…Carmen and Eleazar were two more people in Liz and Tony‟s life that had left. Why hadn't I seen all of this while it was going on? Oh yeah, because you were buried in your own grief too, Cullen. I glanced back over at Bella and her lips were turned up into a small smile. I reached over and stroked her jaw tenderly. Her eyes slowly opened and the love that I saw in them started to bring a tear to my eye.

“I love you, beautiful,” I whispered. Her smile grew until she leaned over the console and brought her lips to my ear. “And I, you,” she whispered. Her lips brushed against the soft flesh under my ear while my hand went to her hair, sliding the silky strands through my fingers. She leaned back against her seat and looked out the window. “So, we're heading further away from Carmel and more into the boondocks. Do you mind telling me where we're going now?” I smiled at her and shook my head. “You‟ll see in about ten minutes,” I reassured. “Do you think you can pull out patient Bella for a few more minutes?” I chuckled when I heard a small growl come from her throat. “Fine. But it better be good,” she said. The tongue in cheek comment was completely adorable and I couldn‟t wait to get to our destination. I heard about the Inn from Felix. He had taken Gianna there for their tenth wedding anniversary a couple of years ago and couldn‟t stop raving about it. He seemed to think throwing in the fact that it was so secluded that several top named actors went there to get some privacy, would convince me. I was more intrigued with the concept of no television or phones for the weekend. It was extremely pricey, but I didn‟t care. I wanted the privacy and this place offered it. I just wanted to focus on us. No interruptions. My mother knew where we were, and if there was an emergency, she would be able to contact us through the hotel staff. I even bribed the boys with a souvenir if they were good for Esme. After Felix recommended the Post Ranch Inn, I went online and made appointments for a couple of the amenities I thought Bella might enjoy. If we got to them, great, but I still wasn‟t sure if I was going to let her out of the room. I pulled into the parking lot and quickly jumped out and grabbed our bags from the trunk before opening Bella‟s door for her. There were no cars or children allowed past the reception building, so as to not disturb the tranquility. We made our way to check-in and I squeezed Bella‟s hand in encouragement, when I noticed the slightly stunned look on her face. She smiled shyly at me, but continued to take in the surroundings. Everything was well manicured while sticking with indigenous plants from the area. They had taken every precaution while updating and building, to not endanger the wildlife or interrupt the natural beauty of the area. It was stunning. From the reception building, you could see the smaller units dotted along the cliffs. Most were hidden within the hundred year old redwoods, while others had gardens planted on the roofs so they would blend in to the landscaping. “It‟s so beautiful,” Bella whispered in awe. I pulled her hand up and kissed it gently. “You haven‟t seen anything yet,” I said as I led her into the building to get checked in. The suite I had booked sat on the cliff overlooking the Pacific Ocean and had panoramic views, with floor to ceiling windows. When we were checked in, the receptionist handed me an envelope with a printout of the times I had scheduled activities for, then we were shown to our room. As we walked through the grounds, Bella would stop and take in her surroundings. Each time, I would press into her back and wrap my arms around her waist until she was ready to move on. She stared, amazed at the beauty, a small smile playing at her lips. No words were spoken, it just seemed like nothing needed to be said as we enjoyed the moment for what it was worth. We made it to our room and entered through an enclosed garden. Bella gasped when I opened the door and let her in. I had seen pictures of the room on the website, but even those didn‟t do it justice. There were windows from

floor to ceiling on most of the wall facing the Pacific. Since the room was situated on the cliff, it offered extreme privacy, while letting in the beauty that surrounded us. The room was paneled in redwood beams; with the leather furniture and different artwork, it had a modern feel to it. “Wow,” Bella said as she walked over to the large window looking out over the ocean. “This is amazing.” I walked up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist while I rested my head on her shoulder. I felt her body stiffen slightly and I wondered what had caused that reaction when she let out a sigh and relaxed more fully into my arms. “There‟s a hot tub,” she whispered in a whimsical voice. I chuckled remembering our last adventure in the spa at my home. Oh yes, we will definitely be taking advantage of that. “Did you see the bathroom?” I asked as I pulled her toward the open door off the bedroom. When we stepped inside, it earned another gasp and I couldn‟t help but smile. Two of the walls were full windows that seemed to stretch out over the cliffs edge. There was a huge tub that looked as if it would have been more appropriate in a spa than in a bathroom. Yet another thing that I couldn‟t wait to get her into. Bella turned toward me and walked into my embrace, her face pressed against my chest. I tilted her face up and leaned down, brushing her lips softly with mine. Her arms tightened around my waist and moved slowly up my back while the back of my hand gently stroked her jaw. As I pulled away, her eyes fluttered open and at that moment I needed her. I needed to touch every inch of her flesh, to feel her warm hands on my body. My hands slid to the back of her dress and as I started to lower the zipper, there was a knock on the door. I groaned, while she giggled and pushed me towards the door. I let the bellhop bring our bags in and turn down the bed. After they were finished, I sought out Bella and found her on the balcony, looking out over the ocean. As the sun dipped below the horizon, the temperature started to drop and Bella let out a small shiver. I rubbed her arms, trying to generate some more heat. Her hand stopped mine and then she turned, leaning against the safety glass, and wound her hands into the back of my hair. “I love you, Edward. I don‟t think I‟ve ever felt this strongly about anyone besides Seth,” she whispered. I looked deeply into her eyes and saw that her words were coming from her heart. I internalized what she said. My thoughts turned to Tanya and I immediately felt the guilt wash over me. Pushing it aside, I allowed myself to follow the train of thought that I had been avoiding for awhile. The love I felt for Bella was so much different than what I felt for Tanya. I didn't think that I could compare the two in terms of who I loved more, nor did I want to. However, I couldn‟t find any other way to work out my feelings then to look at what I have known in the past and what I had now. With Bella, it felt like she touched on my soul, whereas Tanya fulfilled the longing I had for a love, family and home. However, I could easily see Bella taking over those roles. Could I honestly respond in kind to her declaration? As I looked longingly into her eyes, they held every answer to my unspoken questions." “Bella, Love,” I whispered. I pulled her closer and listened to what my heart was telling me. “I feel the same way. Every single moment I spend with you feels like I have my other half. Like I‟ve been missing something, but didn‟t know what it was until you came into my life. I love you, Isabella. More than I think I could ever express.” Her hands tugged on my hair until my lips crashed into hers. With a passion that had been restrained over the last month, she consumed me. I lifted her into my arms and carried her to the bedroom. She slid down my body once we reached the bed, her lips never leaving mine. The need we both felt was all consuming, but I didn‟t want this to be a lust induced frenzy. I needed her to understand how I felt about her through my touch, and out of control was not the message I wanted to send. I pulled away until we were both panting for breath. Her eyes slowly opened and I could see the need she was feeling in her heavily lidded gaze. It was the same need I felt for her, but I was going to do everything in my power to worship her the way that she deserved.

I turned her slowly, until her back was to me, and gently brushed her hair off her neck. Trying to change the pace, I kissed her neck under her ear softly, and then trailed kisses down until I met her shoulder. She shivered slightly, but I knew it was from my touch and not the cold; her skin was on fire under my attention. My fingers found the zipper and as I kissed down her shoulder, I slowly pulled the zipper to her waist and held the dress in place. Her flawless flesh was completely exposed to me and I let one hand travel lightly over the bare skin of her back, noticing she didn‟t have a bra on under the strapless dress. “You are completely breathtaking,” I whispered before my lips found her spine. I let go of her dress and it pooled at her feet as I heard a small sigh of contentment escape her lips. I slowly traveled down her back, leaving wet kisses in my wake until I found myself on my knees. I turned her around until my face was level with her navel and continued the kisses as I tried to keep my eyes level and not look at her yet. I wanted to see her all at once. My hands ghosted over her stomach until they grasped her hips. With slowness I didn‟t know I possessed, I let my hands slide over her hips, taking down the silky blue panties that almost matched the color of her dress. I continued down her legs until she stepped out of them. My eyes closed as I felt every inch of her when my hands trailed back up her legs. Bella‟s hands went into my hair and she was slowly massaging my scalp while I continued to kiss a line across her stomach. When my hands landed on her hips again, I stood up until our eyes met. I pushed her gently until she was an arm's length away and then finally let my gaze travel down her body. Her hair curled slightly over her shoulder and her breasts gently heaved with each breath that she took. Her rosy nipples were a strong contrast against her creamy, white skin. My gaze lingered for a moment before traveling down her slender waist and rounded hips to the patch of mahogany curls that hid her from my view. I couldn‟t contain the groan, which caused her to duck her head slightly as a beautiful blush tinted her cheeks. I took her face into both of my hands and brought her mouth to mine. “You are exquisite,” I whispered before claiming her mouth. Her hands slid under my jacket and I let go of her face long enough to allow her to push it over my arms and drop it into the pile that was starting to accumulate at our feet. Bella‟s hands moved quickly over the buttons of my shirt as our lips slanted over and over again against each other‟s. When she reached for the buttons on my pants, I toed off my shoes and socks before my pants and boxers hit the floor and I stepped out of them. Her hands went to my face and she pulled me down with her onto the bed, until I was lying between her parted legs. My now raging erection was pressed against her thigh as she tried to maneuver me until I was at her entrance. “I love you,” she whispered. “Please, make love to me. Make me yours.” “Forever,” I whispered as I slowly slid in to her. I gave over to the emotions and love I felt for her, and felt it reciprocated in her every movement. The way we moved together was like a synchronized dance. I met her every need until she was whimpering in my arms and I was on the brink of release. With a few final thrusts, we came together and I held her tight until our tremors had subsided. I rolled us onto our sides, her leg thrown over my hip, while still keeping the connection between us, not wanting to exit from her warmth just yet. I pushed the damp hair away from her forehead and kissed her nose lightly. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and her face lit up in a heart stopping smile as she rubbed my back softly. “I have a surprise, but it requires leaving the bed. Are you up for it?” I asked. She frowned slightly, but then nodded. “If you want to do something, then I‟m game,” she said. “But, I think I need a shower first.” I climbed out of bed and scooped her up while she squealed in delight. I walked her into the shower and set her down while I adjusted the water temperature. She slid under the water while I followed behind her. I lathered up

the net sponge that was provided and slowly ran it across her body. The bubbles slid between her breasts before the water washed them away. I turned her around and ran it across her back and hips. She pushed back against me and I kissed her shoulder as I continued to clean every part I could reach. Her soft sighs told me that she was enjoying my touch. I placed the sponge on the hook and grabbed the shampoo. Slowly, I worked the soap into her hair before turning her back around to let the water wash it away. I let my hands run down her body while she wrapped her hands around my neck and arched her back, pressing herself into me. I was completely hard again, but wanted to show her my surprise and was worried that it might not happen. “If you keep doing that, you‟re not going to be seeing your surprise,” I warned, taking her lips between mine. When I released her, she let out a long sigh then snatched the sponge off the hook. While she prepared the sponge, I put conditioner in her hair, relishing the feel of her hair in my hands. As soon as my fingers ran through her hair for the last time, she turned around and attacked my body with the sponge. She showed no mercy as she ran it over my groin and then grabbed ahold of my erection, slowly stroking until I was ready to throw her up against the wall and claim her again. Then the little tease let go and dropped to her knees to wash my legs. Having her down on her knees in front of me was almost my undoing. She smirked back up at me, telling me that she knew exactly what I had been thinking. I hauled her up quickly and pushed her against the shower wall. Without warning, I pulled one of her legs over my hip and entered her in one swift movement. She was already slick and I realized she was just as turned on as I was. Bella moaned loudly, the sound reverberating off the tile walls as I plunged into her. I pulled her other leg up over my hip and she locked her ankles together, pressing her heels into my ass, driving me further into her. This was so much different than moments ago; this was filled with need and lust and the desire to find pleasure in one another. “Ung, Edward. Right there,” she cried out as I continued to hit a spot deep within her. My head fell to her shoulder as I tried to concentrate on bringing her over the edge first. Every thrust pressed against her clit and I worried for a moment if I was being too rough. She answered that unspoken question by pressing her heels deeper into my ass. “Come on baby, you feel that? You feel how hard I am for you?” I rasped in her ear. Her whole body tightened as her fingernails dug into my shoulders. The slight pain distracted me enough to lose all of my self control and I spilled into her throbbing heat as she reached her climax. She slowly slid down my body and onto her shaky legs as she kissed me. We quickly finished our shower and dressed. While she was drying her hair, I called down to the front desk to let them know that we would be at the deck in ten minutes. When Bella was done, I took her hand and led her toward the observation deck that was built out over the cliff. A small Latino man wearing a bright yellow oilskin to keep out the brisk night air was waiting for us with a telescope that was set up on a tripod. “Dr. Cullen?” he asked when we stepped onto the platform. “Yes, but please call me Edward, and this is Bella,” I said as I introduced ourselves and we found out his name was Juan. “We're going to star gaze?” Bella asked. Her smile told me that she was excited at the prospect. I leaned down and nuzzled her neck. “The idea came to me when we were watching the meteor shower. Felix told me about this place and I thought you might enjoy it.” She threw her arms around my neck and kissed me soundly. Juan discreetly pretended to

fiddle with the telescope while I chuckled and pulled her hands from around my neck and kissed them softly. “I‟m glad you're excited. I thought since you said you had never watched a meteor shower, it was a safe guess that you hadn‟t done this either. She shook her head and smiled up at me. She always made me feel like I could do anything. Being with her felt so right on so many different levels. Juan walked us through the basic use of the telescope and set it up so we could see all the craters on the moon. It looked like it was so close we could reach out and touch it. Then he turned it and the view changed, as he explained that we were looking at Jupiter with it‟s mass of bright colors. “Mrs. Cullen, would you like to see Sirius?” Juan asked. Bella looked at him with wide eyes, then at me, and I couldn‟t help but chuckle. Before she could correct him, I took her hand and turned to Juan. “Mrs. Cullen would love to see the brightest star in our sky.” She looked up at me and I winked at her, letting her know I didn‟t mind the mistake. Her smile slowly spread across her face as she looked through the telescope. Occasionally, she would peek over the finderscope to find me staring at her, and her smile would grow even further. She was so damn cute. We thanked Juan for taking the time to give us a private show, then walked hand-in-hand back to our room. The path was dark, but there was no fog, so the moonlight illuminated our way. When we reached the room, we undressed and when she reached for her bag, I pulled her to bed. I didn‟t want the barrier of clothing between us. I wrapped her in my arms and held her until I heard her even breathing against my chest. I knew once she was mine, I would never be able to let her go again. My problem was wondering if she would be willing to move our relationship to the next step. No matter what she decided, it wouldn‟t change the way I felt about her. I would do whatever she wanted. She had me completely wrapped around her finger.

~*~ http://www.postranchinn.com/house_cliff.shtml

~*~

Chapter 46 Reconnecting Bella Swan-Black I woke up tangled in the sheets, with Edward wrapped completely around me. I snuggled closer and his arms tightened automatically around me, pulling me into his chest while he slept. I laid there for as long as I could before my body was screaming in protest. I carefully tried to unwind Edward from me. With a few nudges, he rolled onto his back, taking most of the sheets with him and finally freeing me from my bondage. I rolled out of bed and stepped back to look at the man that I loved. His hair was even more of a mess than it usually was. His head was thrown to the side, cheek pressed into the pillow. The sheets were lying low around his hips and I couldn‟t help but stare at his chiseled chest as it rose and fell with every breath. My eyes traveled down until I found the bronze happy trail that disappeared under the sheet where his prominent morning wood was already making itself known. I sighed at the thought of the different things I‟d love to do to his waiting body. I turned away quickly, before I lost all control and ripped the sheets covering him off and woke him up.

I noticed when we checked in that there was a sign for a breakfast buffet, so I dressed as quietly as I could and ran down to the Sierra Mar restaurant. I stopped dead in my tracks when I got a look at their buffet. “Continental Breakfast” was a huge understatement. The fruit selection alone boggled my mind as I grabbed a tray and two plates and started piling things on. I wasn‟t sure what Edward would like, so I selected a variety of homemade breads, fruit and a funny little thing called a frittata which was kind of like an omelet. By the time I had everything piled on the tray, there wasn‟t any room for drinks. Sighing, I noticed a Latino man cleaning several tables that had been vacated. I set my tray down on a table and called him over. Once I explained my dilemma, he was more than happy to help me. I was thoroughly impressed with the hoops he jumped through to make my stay more pleasant. He came back with a carafe of orange juice, two champagne glasses and a bottle of champagne. I could feel my blush rise as I remembered the last time Edward and I drank mimosas on the boat. The champagne ended up on my stomach. I was about to pick up the tray and lead the way to our room, when another waiter gently took it out of my hands and the three of us walked back to the room. I felt a little silly at all the things I piled on the trays, but I justified it with the thought that maybe we wouldn‟t need to leave the room for lunch. I slid the key card into the door and the waiters went into the living area and set up the table for me while I went to my purse and found some cash to tip them with. How much do you give as a tip when you are in this kind of a resort? I sighed, hoping that it was enough as I pulled out two fives and thanked them for their service. I went back into the bedroom and slipped my shoes off before crawling into bed with Edward. He stirred and opened his eyes carefully, trying to adjust to the morning light coming through the windows. His arm snaked around my waist and he grunted, burying his face in my neck. “Too many clothes,” he whispered as his hands went to the buttons on my shirt. “Why are you dressed?” he asked as he pushed the shirt over my shoulders and went for the clasp on my bra, while his mouth moved over my collar bone. “Because I got us breakfast,” I said in a moan, as my bra followed the shirt off the side of the bed. His mouth latched onto one of my nipples and I felt that familiar twitch in my nether region. Edward‟s hands deftly moved over the button and zipper of my jeans and they were quickly discarded along with my underwear, on the floor. He nipped at my breast before he pulled me into him, his erection sliding in between my legs and rubbing up against me. I moaned and gripped his bottom, pulling him more fully into me. I felt his chest vibrate before the small chuckle escaped his lips. “A little anxious?” he teased. I pinched his ass, making him buck into me with a little yelp. “Shut it and kiss me,” I growled. His lips turned up into a smile while they were on my chest and he kissed a line up the center of my breasts until his lips met mine. His tongue quickly slid into my mouth and soon we were in a frenzied embrace. His hands were everywhere, pinching, pulling, and caressing every part of my body that he could touch. I needed him with a passion that almost scared me. I longed for his touch, his every whisper and especially, his love. He didn‟t hold back as he took me and claimed me as his, repeatedly bringing me to climax before eventually finding his own release. As we lay spent, he pulled me into his arms and whispered his love as he gently stroked my back. “Are you hungry?” I asked. His arm stopped for a moment on my back and then resumed its slow descent back to my hip, sending a small shiver down my back. “Mmhmm,” he hummed, but didn‟t make a move to get out of bed. I slowly drew away from him and his eyes

opened and watched me as I climbed out of bed and grabbed both bathrobes out of the bathroom. Slipping mine on, I threw his on the bed and watched as he pulled it on and cinched the knot around his waist. He held out his hand and I slipped mine into his before following him into the living area. When his eyes landed on the array of goodies that I brought up, he chuckled lightly. “Were you expecting to feed an army?” he asked. “I didn‟t know what you wanted,” I defended, taking the seat opposite from him. “Plus I hoped we wouldn‟t have to leave the room if we didn‟t want to.” He growled in response and I smiled to myself. I loved that reaction out of him and hoped to hear it a few more times during the weekend. “What‟s the plan for today?” I asked, pulling a biscuit and some fruit onto my plate. He glanced over at the clock on the mantle. “In about thirty minutes, the spa will be sending up a masseuse. I thought we could enjoy one of those couple‟s massages. Then we could either take a hike, or there is a cooking class from the chef of Sierra Mar,” he said, popping a grape in his mouth. I smirked as I thought about our options. “The massage sounds great. As for hiking, if you haven‟t noticed, I‟m a bit of a klutz.” He chuckled at my admission, which caused me to glare at him. He held his hands up in defense. “You said it, not me,” he laughed. “I think the cooking class might be beneficial to you,” I shot back. “Especially since we know how wonderful you are in the kitchen,” I teased. It was his turn to glare at me and I couldn‟t help but smirk as I stared at my plate and tried to hold the giggles back. “Cooking class it is then,” he said with mock annoyance. His hand gently lay on top of mine and I looked up into his eyes. He took my hand in his and gently pulled me to him, letting me know that he wanted me closer. He pulled me down to his lap before brushing the hair over my shoulder. I sat comfortably on his lap as we fed one another a variety of different fruits and pastries until we both decided that we should probably take a shower, before the massage therapists arrived. We took separate showers because the thought of us in the same enclosed area, naked and wet, would have left us blowing off our massage. As I climbed out, I could hear rustling in the bedroom as Edward talked with someone. I quickly towel dried my hair and then ran a brush through it before throwing on the robe and entering the bedroom. There was a man and woman setting up two separate massage tables a couple feet apart. Edward smiled at me, then came over and kissed my cheek softly. “Mrs. Cullen, my name is David and this is my wife Allison,” he introduced. I smiled and shook each of their hands, choosing to go with what Edward did last night and not correct them about my name. I glanced over at him and he had a half smile on his face and I wondered what was going through his mind. They instructed us to discard our clothing and climb under the sheets on the tables, then gave us some privacy to do as they instructed. Edward came over and tugged at the ties to my robe. “Why do you look so nervous?” he asked. His hands slid over my shoulders as he pulled it off. I bit my lip, trying to suck up the awkward embarrassment I was feeling. “I‟ve never had a massage before,” I admitted. “I‟m not sure how to react. A part of me is excited with the new experience but another part of me is apprehensive at having a stranger‟s hands on me.”

“If it makes you feel any better, Allison will be doing your massage,” he said, kissing my forehead and then reaching for the ties to his own robe. All thoughts of nervousness disappeared as he stood before me in nothing but a smile. He turned me gently toward my table and helped me under the sheet, arranging it so that it covered me, then he quickly laid down himself, before letting them know we were ready. “What we're going to do is give both of you a thorough Swedish massage and then after, we will instruct you in some different techniques that you can use on one another,” Allison said when they returned. Soft Asian sounds floated through the room from speakers she attached to an iPod. I heard her squirt something into her hands and then rub them quickly together. Allison started at my shoulders and slowly made her way down my back with long, soothing strokes. After awhile, she switched to my arms and then legs before asking me to flip over. I was completely relaxed and any uneasiness I felt went away at her professional approach. As I slowly flipped over, I caught a glimpse of Edward rolling over as well. His emerald eyes watched me intently and then his hand came out and took mine while Allison and David continued to work their magic. The hour flew by and I found myself groaning when we neared the end. “Now, Dr. Cullen. Allison and I will step out while you put on your robe and then we will show you different ways to give your wife a massage,” David said. I blushed slightly at his referring to me as Edward‟s wife. It was one thing to be called Mrs. Cullen, but it felt more personal when specifically stating that I was his wife. When the door closed, Edward sluggishly pushed himself off his table and pulled on his robe. His hand ghosted lightly over my stomach before he leaned down and kissed my lips tenderly. “Are you ready for my hands on you, Mrs. Cullen?” he teased. I felt a small thrill shoot through me at his acknowledgment of David‟s slip. It didn‟t take much evaluating of my feelings to know that I would love for him to call me that every single day of the rest of our lives. “Mmmmmm, I can‟t wait,” I whispered, closing my eyes. He groaned loudly just as the knock came at the door from Allison and David. “We will need to have you turn over,” David said as he patted my shoulder. I carefully maneuvered around until I was lying on my stomach. “Okay, Dr. Cullen,” David started. “First we have an array of different oils that you can choose from, but I prefer this one.” I laid there with my face looking through the little hole of the table and waited patiently while they lathered up their hands. “Rub them together, nice and good. The friction will warm up the oil,” David continued. “We're going to have you use an Effleurage stroke, like this,” David said before I felt his hands slide smoothly up my exposed back in one, long stroke. “Don‟t use too much pressure, but she‟s also not breakable, so don‟t worry about hurting her. She‟ll let you know if it‟s too much.” When David was finished talking, he removed his hands and I felt a jolt of electricity shoot through me when Edward‟s hands were on me. There was something so incredible sensual about his touch that I instantly felt my body start to react. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks and was thankful no one could see my embarrassment with my face buried in the table. His hands rubbed slowly up my back and then across my shoulders and I let out a long groan, biting my lip at my lack of restraint. “Did I hurt you?” Edward asked in a panic, removing his hands quickly. I shook my head frantically. “No, it felt really good,” I whispered, trying to remember that there were two other people in the room aside from the sexy man I wanted to have my way with. I heard Edward chuckle and then his hands were back on me. David

spent the next half-hour showing Edward different techniques while I tried to control my raging need for him. “There are different erogenous zones, besides the obvious ones, that can make your massage more sensual and intimate,” Allison stated. I had never been more thankful than I was at that moment to have my face completely blocked from their view. “Using a soft touch around the sensitive areas of neck and ear will bring heightened sexual pleasure. Also, the back of the knee, the feet and fingers. Don‟t forget that your hands are not the only thing that you can use to take care of your partner,” Oh my, the visual she just planted in my mind had my breathing pick up as I tried to calm myself down. I groaned and rolled over as they exited the room so that Edward and I could switch positions. He threw off his robe and his erection stood proudly. Before I could think about what I was doing, my hand shot out and wrapped around him. He groaned and pushed into my hand as I stroked him softly. After a moment, he pulled away with much more restraint than I would have had and turned to lie on his stomach on the table. I let out a small giggle as his butt wiggled, trying to find a comfortable position. However, I was sure the hard-on he was sporting was making it difficult to lie on his stomach. His face turned toward me and he grinned stupidly at me as I quickly pulled on the robe. Allison and David came back into the room and gave me similar instructions as to what they had with Edward. Occasionally, Allison‟s hands would run up and down Edward‟s back, showing me the proper way to bring him the most enjoyment. Thankfully, they avoided the erogenous speech, because I don‟t think I would have been able to make it through that kind of instruction without turning ten shades of red. I never thought I would gain as much pleasure out of giving a massage as I did receiving one, but I was wrong. Edward‟s body felt incredible under my hands. His strong muscles sent a jolt through me, that I swear he felt as well when he jumped slightly at my touch. His small groans and sighs were driving me slightly mad with lust and I couldn‟t wait for our instructors to vacate the premises so I could see how he felt about an “obvious erogenous zone” massage. “Well, that should give you enough instruction to give each other plenty of hours of enjoyment,” Allison commented as she started to pack up their supplies. Edward wrapped the sheet around his waist and stood up, pecking my lips softly. “When they're out of here, you‟re mine,” he whispered provocatively in my ear. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I took a deep breath, willing them to hurry. As soon as the door was closed, Edward had me pinned against it, his mouth hot on mine, before he scooped me up and carried me back to bed. There was nothing sweet about the way we made love. It was needy and frantic and completely incredible. Afterwards, he led me to the bathroom where he drew us a hot bath and poured in scented oil that he obtained from Allison. He climbed in first, then helped me over the edge and settled us down until I was sitting in between his legs. I leaned back and his lips pressed softly to my neck. “Thank you for this weekend,” I whispered, letting my hands slide over his thighs. “Mmmmm,” he hummed. “It was as much for me as it was for you, Love.” I relaxed against his chest while his thumb rubbed small circles on my hip. We laid in each others arms and enjoyed the comfortable silence. My mind roamed to the bridal shower and I realized that I never talked to Edward about what I learned. “Edward?” I asked.

“Hmmm?” “You never mentioned that you were Rose‟s first kiss,” I accused. He stiffened slightly under me and I tried to hold back the chuckle. He didn‟t say anything, so I turned my head until I was looking at him. His head was resting against the tile with his eyes tightly closed. He slowly opened them and noticed my expectant stare. “What?” he asked. My eyebrow rose as if to tell him he knew exactly what I wanted. He let out a long sigh and rolled his eyes. “I didn‟t know I was her first kiss,” he admitted. “She used to hang out with one of the other baseball player's sisters. She came to several of the games and we got to talking, went out on a date and when I kissed her goodnight, I realized that we weren‟t cut out to be anything more than friends. I can‟t believe she told you. I don‟t even think Emmett knows.” I started cracking up. My giggles were making my body shake with mirth until he grabbed my hips and held me still. “Isabella,” he warned between gritted teeth. “Hold still.” Oh my, he‟s hard again. I couldn‟t help grinning to myself. Edward‟s chin rested on my shoulder and I felt a sudden shift in his demeanor, the playful side was replaced by a more solemn attitude. “Bella?” he began. “Have you thought about having more kids?” I tried not to read too much into his question. This was something we definitely needed to talk about if we were going to progress in our relationship. “I wanted to have one after Seth, but then Jake and I separated and I didn‟t think I would have anymore,” I said quietly. He squeezed my hip softly before kissing my shoulder. “What about now?” he asked. “I mean, later. Not right this instant, but is it something you see in the future?” “With you?” I asked. I felt his head nod. The smile pulled at my lips at the thought. “I won‟t bring another child into this world without being married first. Jake and I did things backwards.” I said. He needed to know where I stood on this and there was no point candy coating it, especially when I didn‟t know what he wanted. “What about you?” I asked timidly. Turning my head, I caught site of his green eyes sparkling back at me. His grin was contagious and I found myself smiling along with him. His hand went to my stomach and he rubbed small soothing circles around my navel. “I can already see you swollen with my child,” he whispered, kissing my neck softly. “I can‟t tell you how much I like the idea.” I bit my lip, trying to hold back the giddy feelings that were jumping through my mind. “So, what would you want to have?” I asked. He shrugged lightly and went back to kissing my neck. “I really don‟t care, but I think Liz would want a girl,” he said with a chuckle. “She was a tad bit disappointed when Anthony was born and she was only two then.” I giggled at the thought of a sullen, two-year-old Elizabeth, demanding that they take Anthony back. Edward gripped my waist and pulled me around until I was straddling his legs. “You aren‟t sleeping in the guest room anymore,” he whispered, changing the subject. “Like I ever slept in there in the first place,” I said with a smirk. He gave me a crooked smile in response. “Should we talk to the kids about the new arrangement?” he asked as his expression changed to a strained look. “What do you say to two seven-year-olds and a nine-year-old about the new sleeping arrangements of their

parents?” he asked, his hands running through my hair. “I think we need to be honest,” I said. “I agree.” He tilted my head up and kissed me again before enveloping me in his arms. We stayed in the tub until the water turned cold and then he helped me out and dried every inch of my body with a loving touch. The rest of our afternoon was spent with Craig von Foerster, the chef of Sierra Mar. It was an intimate setting with only one other couple there for lessons. I shouldn‟t have been surprised with how efficiently Edward wielded a knife while cutting up vegetables, but I was. He spent every day with a knife in his hand; I should have given him a little more credit. He paid close attention to everything Chef Craig said and I found that my focus was completely on Edward, so much so, that when we needed to put together the dish that we were preparing, I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Edward smirked at me and then gently brushed my hands away and helped me finish. “I‟m impressed,” I said, standing back and looking at the oddly stacked sirloin with a variety of vegetables poking out from under it. Edward spent the next two hours rubbing in the fact that I needed his help to finish the cooking class. After his teasing comments, I wasn‟t about to reveal that the reason I was behind was because I had been ogling him. The gift shop in the Inn was not kid friendly, so we drove to Big Sur and hit the small gift shop that was there to buy something for the kids. We settled on some hand crafted jewelry from a local artist for Liz and ball caps for the boys since they both despised brushing their hair. We walked down to the river that ran behind the gift shop and spent a fair amount of time sitting on the rocks and wading in the water. Eventually, we made our way back to the room where we got ready for dinner. Edward was acting very strange. I came out of the bathroom with my dress half-zipped and when he saw me, he quickly stuffed something in his jacket pocket. He turned back around and then walked over to me with a large smile on his face. “You look lovely,” he whispered. Edward‟s hands traced over my bare back before reaching for the zipper and tugging it up, while placing a kiss on my shoulder. I loved the dress that I found on the discount rack of one of the posh stores on Ocean Avenue. It was a black silk halter dress that dipped low, showing off more cleavage than I was used to. There was a wide sash that tied in the back and the skirt flowed softly over my hips until it landed just below my knee. “Thank you,” I whispered. He took my hand and led me down the lighted path to Sierra Mar. We reveled in the tranquility of our surroundings as we caught occasional glimpses of the moonlight bouncing off of the ocean. “Did you bring your cell phone?” I asked Edward. He nodded and pulled it out of his coat pocket. “I just want to check on the kids.” “I got a text earlier from my mother saying they were all getting along fine,” Edward reassured. “I‟m sure they are, but I just want to check in,” I said. “Call it the Mama Bear in me,” I said with a small smile. He pulled me over to a bench that overlooked the ocean and held up his phone as if looking for reception. “There are a couple bars, but you‟ll need to sit on my lap to get the best reception,” he said with an innocent look. Yeah, right. I sat on the edge of his knee, trying to remain coy and took the phone out of his hand. His arm snaked around my waist, earning a small squeal from me right when I heard his mother pick up the phone.

“Bella? Are you okay, dear?” Esme asked with concern lacing her voice. I elbowed Edward lightly in the gut, causing him to let out his breath in a whoosh. I glared at him over my shoulder before turning my attention to his mother. “Yes, Esme. I‟m fine,” I said with a small laugh. “I was calling to see if we could talk to the kids?” She quickly gathered up the kids and I heard Anthony‟s excited voice over the phone. “Bella! What are you and dad doing?” “We are getting ready to go to dinner,” I answered. “We had pizza!” he said excitedly. “But Nana doesn‟t like pizza,” he whispered softly. I assumed he was trying not to be heard by Esme. I laughed out loud and Edward squeezed me lightly. “Are you guys being good for your Nana and Papa?” I asked. “Yep. Nana took us to the Aquarium today and we got to touch the sea stars and ano-na-nemones,” Anthony said happily. “Anemones,” I corrected with a laugh. “I‟m glad you guys had fun.” “Seth wants to talk to you,” Anthony stated, his disappointment evident. “Hi mom!” Seth yelled in the phone, causing me to pull it away from my ear quickly. “Hey baby. Are you being good?” I asked. I could almost see the eye roll. “Yes, mom,” Seth whined. “Can we go to the pool? Nana…I mean…Esme, said we could go tomorrow if it‟s alright with you.” I smiled at his little slip at calling Esme, Nana. “Yeah, that‟s fine,” I said. I felt Edward placing feather light kisses across my shoulder blade before traveling up to my neck. “Thanks mom, here‟s Liz,” he said quickly, and was gone before I could say goodbye. “Bella?” Liz asked. “Hello, sweetheart. The boys aren‟t being too irritating, are they?” I asked. She giggled and told me that they were leaving her alone. “Is it okay if I talk to daddy?” she asked. I smiled and told her to hold on before I handed the phone to Edward. He kissed my neck one more time before taking the phone and bringing it to his ear. “Hello princess,” he greeted. It always amazed me how he turned into a complete marshmallow when it came to Liz. It was no wonder she had “princess” issues, she had him wrapped tightly around her little finger. “No, not yet,” he whispered. He shifted me on his lap and kissed my lips softly, while I listened to the one-sided conversation. “I‟ll let you know how it goes,” he said with a chuckle. “Tell the boys goodnight. I love you sweetheart.” Edward flipped the phone closed and looked intently at me.

“Are you ready for dinner?” he asked. “What did Liz want?” “You‟ll find out later,” he said, reverting back to his mysterious conduct. He took my hand and led me to the restaurant. Sierra Mar was a quaint restaurant that sat on the cliff and overlooked the Pacific. It was already dark outside, so I wasn‟t disappointed at missing the view when the maître‟d sat us at a secluded table with soft candlelight. Edward held out my chair and I slid in while he scooted it forward and then took the chair across from me. After ordering us a bottle of wine, he took my hand and brought it to his lips. “I‟m glad that you decided to come with me this weekend,” he started. I smiled and nodded my agreement. “I…well, Liz and I, picked out a little gift,” he said, placing a rectangular box on the table. I immediately recognized it to be a jewelry box and looked up into his bashful smile. I bit my lip, not really sure what to say. I was never very good at receiving gifts, but I didn‟t want him to think I didn‟t appreciate the thought, so I reached out and took the black box into my hand. “You really didn‟t have to get me anything,” I whispered. “But, thank you.” I slowly popped the top open and nestled in the velvet was a beautiful silver charm bracelet. I looked up at him and he was searching my face for some kind of reaction. “It‟s beautiful,” I whispered. I fingered a crystal heart that dangled from the bracelet before pulling it out of the box to get a better look. “Elizabeth helped me pick out the bracelet while each one of the children picked out their own charms,” he explained. “The heart is from me, and of course, represents how you already have my heart.” He brought my hand across the table and then took the bracelet from me and clasped it around my wrist. “The frog is from Seth,” he said, pulling up the small silver frog. “The baseball and bat are from Tony, and the book is from Liz,” he said. I thought about how each one fit their personalities perfectly when I felt a tear streak down my cheek, before I had even realized it was there. I quickly brushed it away and cleared the lump out of my throat. “It‟s beautiful, thank you,” I whispered. Edward leaned across the table and I met him half way as our lips met briefly. “I love you, Bella,” he said as he sat back in his chair. “I love you, too.” Dinner was spent talking more about our future and what our goals and plans were. It always surprised me that we never ran out of things to talk about. I could still see us fifty years down the road engaged in stimulating conversation. We just fit together so perfectly. We made our way back to the room, where Edward swept me in his arms and made love to me again. This time, it was slow and sweet. He took my every need into account as he slowly worshiped my body, before pulling me into his embrace and we drifted off into slumber. The next day, Edward informed me that we didn‟t technically need to check out until tomorrow, but we both had

to work in the morning, so we decided to head home when the sun started to set. The weather was unusually warm, so I suggested spending the day down at the Jade pool, which he heartily agreed to. I teased that he just wanted to see me in my bikini again and my theory was confirmed when he tackled me after I came out of the bathroom. We didn‟t end up leaving the room for another two hours after that. The view from the pool was breathtaking and we spent all afternoon lounging around and playfully teasing one another. We had an early dinner by the pool and afterwards headed back to our room to get cleaned up and packed. It was hard to leave our little slice of heaven and I looked longingly at the room as Edward took our bags out to the bellboys. I noticed the hot tub again and had a pang of regret at not being able to take advantage of it. Edward came back in and wrapped his arms around my waist and brought his lips to my ear. “I don‟t want to leave either,” he whispered, reading my exact thoughts. I let out a long sigh and then turned my head until I could kiss the corner of his mouth. Everything about this weekend was perfect, but I didn‟t need fancy hotel rooms, over the top romance or gifts to be happy. Everything that I needed rested completely on the man behind me. He was my everything. The drive back to Carmel was long, but Edward held my hand as we talked quietly about the weekend and the wedding. We passed a beautifully landscaped restaurant called Rocky Point and I made a comment about wanting to try it someday and Edward stiffened noticeably beside me. “Do you mind if I turn on the radio?” I asked, hoping that some music might distract him from whatever seemed to be bothering him. He turned to me and smiled, but I could tell that something else was bothering him. I turned on the radio and started flipping through channels. Since we were so far out of range, it seemed like the only stations were Spanish or Country, so I settled on a country station and heard him groan next to me. “What?” “You do know that I don‟t like country music, right?” he asked. I giggled. “It‟s time you broadened your horizons a bit,” I said, just as a Shania Twain song came on the radio. “Besides, there are songs like this, which are more easy listening than country.” I relaxed in my seat and hummed along to the beautiful song. I heard a little whimper come from Edward and I glanced over to see a distressed look on his face. “Edward?” I asked. “Are you okay?” His fingers gripped the steering wheel until his knuckles had turned white and I was starting to worry that I had said something wrong. “Edward?” I asked again, when he didn‟t respond. He glanced over at me and the look I saw in his eye startled me. I didn‟t understand how he could go from happily teasing to almost looking terrified. He was starting to gasp for breath and when he clutched his chest, I thought that maybe he was having a heart attack. He still hadn‟t answered me and I heard the panic in my own voice as it raised. “Edward, pull over now!” I demanded. The road was narrow and curvy and I was starting to worry that he wouldn‟t be able to drive safely. He did manage a small nod as he started to slow down. I glanced in the side mirror and there wasn‟t anyone behind us, while he came to an almost complete stop in the middle of the road. “Pull over into the turn out,” I said, pointing to the side of the road. He didn‟t look good and I started to reach for his jacket that he had thrown in the back seat to find his phone when the car lurched forward until he was out of

the road. He threw the car into park and I practically climbed over the console until I had his face held securely in my hands. His eyes were wide and his breathing was erratic. It almost looked like he was having a panic attack. “Edward, honey. You‟re scaring me. Please, talk to me. What‟s wrong?” I rushed out, hearing the crack in my voice. I pulled his face closer to mine, trying to get him to focus on me but he stared blankly back. I again wondered how we didn‟t end up over the side of the road with how unresponsive he was being. “Edward, please,” I pleaded, as the sob tore from my throat and I felt the tears streak down my cheeks. His eyes slowly focused on me and I took full advantage of his comprehension. “What‟s wrong? Why are you like this?” I cried. Edward‟s eyes searched my face before his mouth parted and he uttered the one word I didn‟t expect to hear. “Tanya.”

~*~

Chapter 47 The Accident Edward Cullen I hurried home from work, glancing at the clock on the stereo as I sped down Highway One. Tanya wasn't going to be happy that I was running late. We had reservations at her favorite restaurant in an hour and it was going to take half that time to drive out there. I pushed on the accelerator and that was when I saw the red flashing lights behind me. Damn. I pulled over to the side of the road and raked my fingers through my hair as I pounded on the steering wheel. This was definitely going to make us late. I flipped open my phone and sent a quick text to my wife, begging for her forgiveness, before the officer reached my window. “License and registration, please,” the officer asked. I quickly handed him the required documents and impatiently drummed my fingers on the wheel. He pulled down his sunglasses and looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “If you‟re in such a hurry, you probably shouldn‟t have been speeding. Now it‟s going to take you twice as long,” he said with a chuckle. I bit back the nasty retort that came to mind. There wasn‟t any reason to provoke him or he‟d just keep me there longer. “Do you know how fast you were going?” “No, but I‟m sure you‟ll enlighten me,” I said through gritted teeth. “Nineteen miles over the speed limit. You‟re lucky. Any faster and I‟d be hauling your ass in for reckless driving.” I chose to ignore his reprimand and waited for him to either give me the lecture about slowing down or hand over the ticket. After a ten minute speech on the dangers of driving too fast, he handed me my ticket and told me to slow down. I pulled back onto the highway and sighed when I glanced at the time, we were going to be

really late. I hate being late. When I pulled into the driveway, Tanya opened the garage door and I could tell that she was a bit irritated with my tardiness. She looked beautiful with her strawberry blond hair pulled up into a twist, tendrils cascading over her neck. She had worn the emerald green dress that I loved on her. It hugged every curve and accentuated her long legs. For having two kids, she looked just as perfect as the day I married her. I jumped out and ran to her, taking her in my arms and kissing her softly. Instantly she melted and I knew that I had been forgiven. “Your shirt and jacket are lying on the bed. I was just on my way over to Alice‟s to drop off the kids. I‟ll be back in ten minutes. I‟ve already called the restaurant to let them know we're running late,” she said as she moved around the side of her car. I opened the passenger door and saw Anthony and Liz already in their pajamas and smiling brightly back at me. “Daddy!” Liz yelled, holding out her hands for a hug. I tried to maneuver into the backseat and kissed her cheek while her hands wrapped around my neck. She let me go and I ruffled Tony‟s hair. “Be good for Aunt Ali,” I warned. They both nodded and I crawled back out of the car. No matter how many times I tried to talk Tanya into getting a bigger car, she always bucked me. I waved at them as they pulled out of the garage. The 1967 Shelby GT was by far my favorite Mustang and Tanya had owned it since before we were dating. Thanks to Rose, the car was perfectly restored and I always felt a small thrill when I drove it. There was just something about all that horsepower at your fingertips. I ran upstairs and quickly changed into the black shirt, tie and jacket that Tanya laid out and then went to my top drawer for the gift that I had gotten her for our anniversary. Slipping it into my pocket, I heard the front door open. I couldn‟t help but smile. Tanya and I had been married for eight wonderful years. I felt lucky to have her as the mother of my children and as my companion. We complimented each other perfectly and even after eight years, the spark was still very much aflame. I ran downstairs and she was waiting for me in the foyer. “Are you ready?” she asked with a brilliant smile, her sky blue eyes dancing happily. I took her hand and kissed it gently. “I thought we could take the Shelby tonight. What do you think?” I asked. Her eyes lit up and she nodded, while her hand traced the lapel of my jacket. “You know how sexy I think it is when a hot doctor drives a muscle car,” she whispered seductively. “We could just stay home?” I asked with a wiggle of my eyebrows and pulled her to me. “No kids, equals a very loud Tanya,” I said nuzzling her neck. “I‟m not that easy of a date,” she laughed. “You are going to wine and dine me, then we‟ll see if you‟ve earned it.” I chuckled against the skin of her neck and kissed it once before releasing her. “I will most definitely earn it tonight,” I said. My hand traveled to my pocket as I thought about how the expensive little bauble in my pocket was guaranteed to get me laid every night this week. She took my arm and I led her to the car. Always the gentleman, I opened her door and helped her inside before making my way to the driver's side. The drive down the Big Sur coast was beautiful as we watched the sun dip down below the horizon. She told me about her day and the antics Anthony had gotten in, then she asked about my surgeries. She was always so fascinated with how I could easily slice into someone and make them all better.

We arrived at the restaurant and pulled up to the valet. I quickly got out of the car and tossed the keys to the valet with a wink and a warning about taking it for a joy ride, then rushed over to help my wife out. Her dress had ridden up her thigh and when she extended her leg to get out, I was struck again with how beautiful she was. I glanced at the valet and his mouth was agape when she was fully out. I raised an eyebrow at him and he snapped his mouth shut and gave me an apologetic look. I chuckled and shook my head as I took her arm. “What?” she asked, looking down at her dress. “Do I have something on me? Toilet paper stuck to my shoe? Mac and cheese in my hair?” I laughed before squeezing her hand reassuringly. “None of the above. You look stunning,” I said. She rolled her eyes. “Then why were you laughing?” “Because you left the valet speechless and slightly stunned.” “Oh please,” she said in disbelief. One of the things that I admired about Tanya, was that even though she had a beauty that rivaled a supermodel, she was humble and there wasn‟t an ounce of narcissism in her. “He‟s probably looking at your pretty face and picturing you bent over the Shelby,” she said with a laugh. “Hmmm, you‟d love to see that wouldn‟t you?” “You know it‟s my little fantasy. However, I picture someone more like Johnny Depp and you being the top,” she said with a giggle. “No, no. Not dear old Johnny again. I can never live up to the pedestal you have put him on,” I said with mock horror. She pinched my side, causing me to jerk away as she laughed. “Oh baby, you know that Johnny would be the one who wouldn‟t live up,” she purred. The hostess sat us at a table that overlooked the ocean and we sat quietly for awhile watching the moonlight dance across the water. Tanya let out a long sigh and I looked over at her to find her staring intently at me. “I still can‟t believe that the hunky college baseball star is my husband, even after eight years,” she sighed. I smiled and took her hand that was resting on the table. “I love you. Happy anniversary,” I whispered. Kissing her hand, I placed the Tiffany box on the table. She let out a little squeal and snatched it up quickly. Tanya was a sucker for a shiny piece of jewelry and it always amused me to watch her eyes light up like a child on Christmas day when she realized there were diamonds involved. I released her hand and watched as she popped the lid open and her eyes widened. “They‟re beautiful, Edward,” she cooed. She took out the pair of platinum, princess cut, solitaire earrings with a little sigh. Quickly unfastening the earrings she was wearing, Tanya slipped on the new ones and gave me a heart stopping smile. “Not as beautiful as you, baby,” I whispered. She smiled softly at me and I was reminded again of all the reasons I loved her. Dinner was nice, but I was anxious to get out of there. When the waitress came over to ask if we wanted dessert, I answered in the negative only to get a small kick from my darling wife under the table.

“What?” I asked in defense as the waitress walked away. “I would‟ve liked the crème brûlée,” she said with a raised eyebrow. “And I want Tanya à la mode, so let‟s get out of here and I‟ll make you one later,” I said, throwing in the panty dropping smile that I knew would change her mind. She laughed instead. “You? Cook? I think not. However, I‟m all for the dessert you had in mind,” she said as she placed her napkin on the table with a wicked grin. The waitress could not return with the check quick enough, allowing me to whisk Tanya out into the night. I whispered to the valet that if he had the car there in less than five, there was a twenty in it for him. Three and a half minutes later we were pulling back onto the Highway. “Edward, pull over at the next turn about,” she whispered. “Whaaa? Why?” I whined. “Humor me, please,” she said in an exasperated tone. I growled lightly but did as she asked. When I threw the car in park she pushed a CD into the radio and the sounds of Shania Twain filled the car. I groaned and flopped my head back onto the headrest while she shushed me. “Ugh! You know I hate country music,” I said. She opened her door and started to get out of the car. “What are you doing?” “Will you just shut up and get out of the car,” she said with a laugh. “You, Mr. Control Freak, are not controlling this night.” She got out of the car and walked to the edge of the dirt turnabout to look out over the cliff side. I got out of the car and walked up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist and kissing her cheek softly. “I‟m sorry, baby. Whatever you want, it‟s yours,” I conceded. She turned in my arms just as the song from our wedding started to play. “Then dance with me,” her voice was only a whisper. I pulled her close and started to sway as the words reminded me of our wedding day in the little church in San Francisco. Her warm breath blew across my neck and she let out a little sigh. “What are you thinking about?” I asked. “I was thinking about having another child,” she whispered. I grinned like a fool at the thought that maybe she was finally ready. “And?” I asked when she didn‟t say anything more. She lifted her head until she was looking up at me, her eyes shining in the moonlight. “And, I‟m ready to start trying again,” she whispered. I picked her up in my enthusiasm and swung her around, causing her to throw her head back and laugh. “Are you sure?” I didn‟t want her to base her decision on my desires. The last time we talked about having another child she had made it clear that her hands were full with the two we already had. “I don‟t want you to be over extended. Maybe I can take an extra day off work? We don‟t need the income and that would give me more time to help out,” I said. She smiled and nodded. “I think that would be a wonderful idea.” I leaned in and our lips met in a tender kiss, her arms going around my

neck and pulling me closer. “I love you, Edward,” she sighed when we broke apart. “I love you, too,” I whispered, kissing her once more. I took her hand and helped her back into the car, then climbed back in and pulled onto the road again. “Now can we turn off the country music?” I whined. She laughed and nodded as I reached for the radio. Tanya sucked in a quick breath with a gasp and my eyes darted to the road only to see a flash of headlights in our lane. I swerved the car to the left, but it was too late; the sound of grating metal was so loud in my ears that I closed my eyes, trying to drown out the crunch and breaking glass. That was the last thing I heard before my head slammed into the side window and everything went black. When I finally came to, I heard people yelling and my head lolled to the side as I slowly tried to open my eyes. The pain in my head was unbearable and I had a fleeting moment of wondering if I got hit with a baseball bat. “I think she‟s breathing!” someone yelled. I groaned as I tried again to open my eyes. “He‟s coming around, too! Did you call 911? I think she may need a helicopter.” A what? The words of the stranger started to register in my mind and I remembered a flash of light and Tanya, in her beautiful green dress. I forced my eyes open only to have the world spin out of control. I closed them tightly. “He‟s got a hospital sticker in the window!” the voice yelled again. “Sir, sir! You need to wake up! Are you a doctor?” I felt strong hands on me as they shook my shoulders lightly, causing me to wince in pain. “Sir, your wife! You need to wake up!” My wife? I tried to open my eyes again and this time everything was slightly fuzzy before it came into focus. “Sir, are you a doctor?” I glanced up at the man that was towering over my open door with a flashlight. I nodded slightly, trying to avoid any fast movements. And then it hit me. I‟ve been in an accident. Everything swirled around me and my head snapped over to where Tanya was sitting. She was bent at an odd angle, the door and dash was sandwiching her against the seat. I felt my stomach hit the ground as I reached for her, trying to find a pulse. My fingers were shaking as I pressed them against her neck. When I felt the faint pulsing under my fingers I let out a sigh of relief. “Did someone call 911?” I asked. The man standing next to me let me know that he had and that they were sending a helicopter. I started to pull myself up until I was hovering over Tanya‟s unconscious form. I pushed back the tears starting to form. She‟s going to be okay, I told myself. I checked her airways and found she was breathing, before starting to assess the extent of her injuries. Her face had been badly cut, probably from the windshield shattering. There was a lot of blood and I kept telling myself that head wounds always looked worse than they were. My eyes traveled down her body to the front of her dress which was soaked in blood. I reached for her dress, yanking open the fabric and listening to it tear in my hands. I couldn‟t see any major wounds but that didn‟t mean that there weren‟t internal injuries. I wished I could see the other side of her, but the damn door was wrapped over the top of her. I looked out the window and the front end of a red car was pushing the door into her. “Someone get that fucking car out of here,” I yelled. Where the hell were the police? Tanya‟s head lolled to the side and my hands went to her face. “Tanya, baby. Can you hear me?” she let out a loud groan and I sighed in relief. She was coming to. “Tanya, I

need you to talk to me sweetheart. Please baby, open your eyes.” Her eyes started to flutter and they opened and I noticed that she had burst several blood vessels in her eyes. “Baby, can you hear me?” I asked again. “Edward?” Yes, she hears me. I don‟t think I had been more relieved than I was at that moment to hear her voice. “Yes, baby. I need you to tell me what hurts,” I said. Tanya licked her lips and I could see the blood pooling in her mouth. Where the hell were the paramedics? “My head,” she whispered. “Anything else?” I asked. But, she slipped back into unconsciousness. Damn it. I turned to the man standing with the flashlight. “Get that damn car out of here. I have to see what other injuries she has and I can‟t do it until that fucking thing is gone!” I yelled. “I know sir, the police just arrived. They're going to try to move it, but both cars are sitting on the edge of the cliff. One wrong move and they could go over.”I looked out the windshield and sure enough, we were inches away from the edge. Where we were at, there wasn‟t any guard railing and I cursed the idiot who decided they didn‟t need to put it here. I focused on Tanya and reached my hand down below the door to feel her legs. Her whole right leg from hip to ankle was crushed and I heard the whimper come from my mouth as I closed my eyes and tried to remember my training. I heard a police officer barking out orders and opened my eyes to see him leaning in through the broken window. “Sir, are you ok?” he asked. “Are you hurt in any way?” I shook my head frantically. “I‟m going to have to ask you to exit the vehicle.” “I‟m a doctor and my wife is very hurt. I need to see the extent of her injuries, you just worry about getting her out of here,” I said with authority. There was no way I was leaving her side. He must have seen my determination because he nodded his head. “I understand, but you need to know how dangerous the situation is,” he said. “I know, we're on the cliff‟s edge, but I have faith that you won‟t let anything happen, so get to work and get my wife out of here,” I said. “Yes sir,” the officer said before turning and telling people to back up. I tried to squeeze my hand between Tanya‟s chest and the door, but it was useless. I came to the conclusion that her pelvis was probably broken as well. I screamed in frustration. I needed the damn door out of here. I felt so helpless. Everything I had been taught couldn‟t be put to use until they got her out of here. I heard the scraping of metal as several people tried to push the car out of the way enough to get the door open. After a few more tries, the officer informed me that they had to wait for the tow truck to pull us apart. He said that it was still ten minutes out and I let out another feral cry in frustration and anger. If we were in town, I would already have her in the ER I could hear the medivac circling above us looking for a place to land. I wondered how far away they would have to land since there was cliff and mountain on either side of us. After several excruciatingly long minutes, I saw the yellow tow truck pull up. I let out a sigh of relief as I heard the sound of metal grating against metal as the other car was slowly pulled away from the door. The police and firemen went to work quickly as I held Tanya‟s hand and whispered in her ear what was going on. I had no idea if she could hear me, but I was determined to make things as comfortable as possible. “Edward?” My head jerked to her face and her eyes were wide with wonder. No, this isn‟t happening. I pushed down the thoughts that invaded my head of the patients I had seen take their last dying breath. She'll be fine.

These are superficial wounds. I can fix this. “I‟m here, baby,” I whispered, loud enough for her to hear me. I could hear her breathing become raspier as she gulped for air and struggled to speak. My hands went to her hair as I pushed the strands that had escaped her twist. “Shhh, save your strength. We‟ll be out of here in a minute.” “We‟re going to have to break the windshield and use the Jaws of Life!” One of the fireman yelled to his comrades, breaking my concentration on the one person that mattered. “No, I-I need to tell you-,” she whispered. “You can tell me after we get you to the hospital and fix this,” I said waving my hand at her leg. She slowly shook her head and gasped. I felt the tear slide down my cheek before I realized it had formed. It was killing me as I watched her in so much pain. “Make sure to give Liz my mom's bracelet,” she whispered. What? Hell no! “Tanya,” I said sternly. “Stop talking like that, you're going to be fine.” She slowly shook her head again and a sob broke from her throat. I squeezed her hand, knowing that it was the only place that was currently not in agony. “Anthony…you need to read to him every night and make sure he‟s always a gentleman,” she choked out with a cough. As she did, the blood oozed out of the corner of her mouth. She has internal injuries. I felt my heart drop at the realization she must have had some kind of chest injury. “Hurry up!” I roared over my shoulder as I heard the windshield ripping away. “Tell them both that I love them,” her eyes drifted closed and I started to feel the panic in my chest increase. “Tanya! No, don‟t close your eyes. I need you to stay with me, baby!” I yelled. My fingers went to her throat and her heart rate had slowed down to almost nothing. No! This isn‟t happening. “Sir, you're going to have to get out of the car now,” the police officer from earlier said. I shook my head in a flat out refusal at his request. “No, I‟m not leaving her,” I said desperately. “Sir, if you don‟t exit the vehicle, we will manually remove you,” his voice was firm. “I promise we will be quick and do our best not to hurt her more, but we cannot proceed with you in the car.” I let out a loud growl before kissing her lips once and getting out of the car. I stood on the side and watched as the metal of her precious Shelby was peeled back like a sardine can. As the door was pulled back, I heard a gut wrenching scream from the car and I darted forward, only to be held back by one of the fireman. “Let me go! She needs me,” I yelled. I threw my elbow into his stomach and he released me with a loud grunt. I made it three paces only to have a couple of huge men grab onto me. It took several tries of one of them trying to get my attention, before I finally heard him shouting in my ear. “You have to let them get her out. You can help her when they‟ve done their job, but if you get in their way, it will take twice as long to get her out,” he said quickly. I stopped struggling and nodded my head curtly. However, they didn‟t release me until the door was completely torn away. I rushed to her side and tried to hold in my shock

at the sight of how badly she was hurt. The right side of her chest was caved in and she was losing blood quickly. Thankfully, she was unconscious and wouldn‟t feel the pain. The paramedics quickly got her on a gurney as I started barking orders of what I needed. My main concern was to stop the bleeding before she bled out. As soon as we were in the ambulance, they hooked her up to an IV and heart monitor while I worked frantically to stem the flow. We were only in the ambulance for a few minutes when I heard the blades of the medivac. Quicker than I thought possible, we were all sitting in the helicopter as it hovered over the ocean. I continued to assess the damage as the paramedic pressed a pack to her side. My eyes flew to her face when I heard her gasp, and her eyes were locked on mine. I shook my head as I saw the determination in her eyes. No! “I love you,” she whispered. I grabbed the paramedics hand and pressed it into the gauze I was holding tightly to her chest. I grasped her hand and leaned over her, our faces only inches apart. “I love you, too. I promise, you‟re going to be fine,” I said with conviction. She smiled a sad smile at me and a tear ran down her cheek. “Promise me you‟ll be happy,” she breathed. Her breaths were becoming more shallow as her eyes fluttered shut. “Don‟t…don‟t do this, Tanya. Only you can make me happy. I can‟t lose you, please hang on,” I sobbed. I pressed my lips to her forehead and gently kissed her head when I heard the long beep of the monitor, indicating that her heart had stopped. I quickly sat up and pushed the hands of the paramedic away as I administered CPR on her. 1…2…3…breath. This isn‟t happening. 1…2…3…breath. She‟s going to make it. 1…2…3…breath. What the hell is taking so long? 1…2…3…breath. “Someone secure an airway, NOW!” If I hadn‟t been speeding… 1…2…3…breath. We should have taken the Volvo. 1…2…3…breath. If I would have given in and let her have dessert... 1…2…3…breath. If we wouldn‟t have stopped and danced… The paramedic started to secure her airway by intubating her. 1…2…3… “One amp of Epi in!” the paramedic yelled while I continued pumping her chest. After several minutes, the paramedic yelled, “Hold CPR.” I reached for Tanya‟s neck to feel for a pulse and the loud, piercing sound of the monitor flat lining echoed in my ears. “No pulse, continuing CPR,” I muttered, going back to my ministrations. Every scenario screamed through my mind as I relived every change in our course for tonight that would have led us down a different road. A road that didn‟t include watching my wife die. No! That was not happening. “Sir, she‟s gone,” the paramedic whispered beside me. I would have hit him if my hands weren‟t currently occupied trying to save my wife‟s life. My head turned towards him as my hands began to pump her chest. “Shut the hell up! You‟re a fucking paramedic. I‟m the one with the medical degree,” I growled. He nodded curtly at me and I continued to pound on her chest. “Give her another round of Epi NOW!!” I commanded to the now frightened paramedic. The pilot let us know that we would be landing in two minutes and I felt some hope that once we had her in the operating room that I would be able to fix this. The sound of the long beeping of the heart monitor was driving me crazy. I turned around and ripped the cord out of the machine before turning back to her.

Seconds after we landed, I felt the gurney move under me and looked up to see Dr. Lee and several of the nurses I worked with pulling Tanya away from me. In a fog, I jumped out of the helicopter and continued pumping her chest until we were in the O.R. “Edward, let us take it from here,” Dr. Lee‟s voice was firm but compassionate. I shook my head no and continued. A hand clamped down on my shoulder and I tried to shake it off as I continued. 1…2…3…1…2…3… “Edward, let her go,” Felix‟s voice soothed. My hands stopped and I looked into the eyes of my friend. As soon as I hesitated, they quickly rolled Tanya‟s lifeless body into the trauma bay. They continued to work on her while I stood helplessly in the corner. “Asystole,” said Dr. Lee. “I‟m going to call it”. No, no, no, no, no. My hands gripped my hair and I pulled in an attempt to have the pain erase the images of what was happening in front of me. “Time of death…11:14pm,” I heard Dr. Lee call. “No! Damn it!” I shouted as I launched myself at him. I grabbed the front of his scrubs and shoved him away from Tanya. “Why the hell did you stop?” I yelled. My hands went to her chest to resume CPR and that‟s when I noticed how much of her blood was on my hands. I shook my head in denial as I held my hands in front of me. This is not happening. This is not happening. My breathing picked up as I stared down at the lifeless body of the woman that I had loved for the last ten years. My heart clenched and I grabbed my chest as I gasped for breath. I grabbed her hand and held it to my chest as I stared at her wedding ring. The strangled cry that escaped my lips sounded foreign to my ears as I collapsed in a heap, clutching her hand to my cheek. I felt a pinch in my arm and I glanced up to see Felix holding a syringe in his hand and an apologetic look as he grasped me around the shoulders. I had a brief thought of Elizabeth and Anthony before everything went black. Bella Swan-Black I sat on the ground, beside the open door of his Volvo while I held Edward in my arms. He pressed his face into my chest as the tears streamed down my cheeks while he told me the details of the night that Tanya had died. My heart ached from the pain he endured and what he was currently going through now. After he pulled over and said Tanya‟s name, he threw open his door and stepped out into the cool evening air. I jumped out of the car and made it to him just as he sank to his knees. I followed him down and pulled him to me until I was sitting and his head rested on my shoulder. He never looked up as his breathing came in gasps and I contemplated calling Emmett to come and get us. When he finally spoke again, the sound of his voice both surprised and haunted me. It was almost like he had gone back in time as he told me, in detail, the small things he remembered about the accident. Every word was spoken with a painful remembrance of the events that had changed everyone's lives over the last three years. I always knew that he had been at the accident scene, but I never fully comprehended, until now, how badly it must have affected him. A small shiver ran down my spine at the horror of watching someone you love die in your arms. I stroked his hair softly; pressing my lips to the top of his head and hoping

that there would be some kind of healing that could begin now. As he recounted the story, I gained a better understanding of why he was so closed off. He felt responsible for her death. His comments that revolved around the “what ifs” were hanging over his head. He blamed himself for her death because of circumstances that he couldn‟t have changed. Any one of those things could have altered their fate, but then again maybe it wouldn‟t have. I was a strong believer in the rule of “when it‟s your time, it‟s your time.” However, I didn't think that he saw it the same way. He had lived the last three years blaming himself for Tanya‟s death. The way he hung onto the past wasn‟t about his desire to not let Tanya go because he loved her. But, instead had everything to do with the fact that Edward thought he could have changed the outcome if he had made different decisions. “Bella?” he asked when his breathing had returned to normal. “Hmm?” I asked, softly. I continued to stroke his hair, trying to give him some comfort in the demons he was facing. “I know what I need to do,” he whispered against my chest. I pulled back, causing him to look at me. His eyes were full of determination and I breathed a small sigh of relief that my Edward was finally back. “What?” I asked. “I need to go see Tanya. It‟s time.”

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Chapter 48 Graveside Visits Edward Cullen Bella‟s warm body was snuggled up against mine while I played with her hair, unable to sleep. As soon as we had gotten home, I called my mother and asked if she could keep the kids one more night. I needed Bella more than I had ever needed anyone before. We stayed up until the late hours discussing what happened out on the cliff edge of Big Sur. Bella cried with me as I recounted the days after Tanya‟s death, and how I had to tell Liz and Tony that their mother wasn‟t coming home. She asked questions I had never answered before and surprisingly, I wanted to tell her. We talked about when I found out the driver of the other vehicle had been drinking. She asked about the trial and I told her how I opted out of participating. I couldn‟t bring myself to even write a letter of how he had changed our lives and I certainly didn‟t want to face it by attending the sentencing. Avoidance at its finest. As I laid there, I felt the tears forming under my closed lids. All those years I had spent avoiding the memories of the accident, but after I let it all go, I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The energy it took to avoid thinking about it had taken a toll on my mental health over the years. Now that it was finally out in the open, I let

myself feel every emotion and thought I had that fateful night. I blamed myself for so long over something I had no control over. One small adjustment in that night could have saved Tanya‟s life, but there was no way of knowing at the time. I looked down on the beautiful, sleeping woman beside me and buried my face in her hair. If our fate had been different, I wouldn‟t have found Bella and she and Seth wouldn‟t be a part of our lives. The thought of that made my stomach clench painfully. I could feel the guilt creeping up for even thinking that if Tanya hadn‟t died, I wouldn‟t have found Bella. I loved Tanya with everything I had, but that chapter of my life was over and it was time to move on completely. She would always hold a piece of my heart, but Bella had become the woman that I couldn‟t live without. I gently rubbed her back and heard a small sigh from her lips before she turned her head and looked up at me. “Good morning, Love,” I whispered. She pulled her hand from around my waist and rubbed one of her sleepy eyes, then rested her cheek on my bare chest. She smiled up at me and I felt my lips pull up until they were matching hers. “I love you,” she said sweetly. I pulled her up until she was lying completely on my chest, our faces inches apart. “I love you,” I whispered with conviction. I grasped the back of her neck and gently pulled her down until our lips brushed against each other. Slowly, I parted her mouth with mine and swept my tongue in, greedily savoring her flavor. A small moan escaped her lips as she wrapped her tongue around mine in an intricate dance. Everything about her screamed to be protected and cherished and I was going to make sure that I did both. She pulled away and I groaned at the loss. Opening my eyes, I could see she was hovering inches above me. Her lips were slightly parted, swollen and took on a pouty quality that made her look even sexier than she usually did. Her mahogany locks curtained both sides of us and her beautiful brown eyes were hooded with desire. I felt myself instantly become hard and I couldn‟t fight off the feeling of needing to claim her as mine again. In one solid motion, I flipped us over so that I was hovering above her. Her eyes grew larger at suddenly finding herself on her back; the only sound she made was a surprised exhale of breath at the quick movement. “I need you, Bella,” I whispered huskily. She nodded and her hands ran over my chest until they reached the waistband of my boxers. Pushing them down as far as she could reach, I helped her by kicking them off the rest of the way. I pulled up enough so she could lift up her bottom and wiggle the lacy panties down her thighs until they were at the bottom of the covers. I leaned back slightly so she could sit up and pull off the silk chemise that she was wearing, until nothing separated our bodies. I nestled myself between her legs as she opened her legs wider so I could settle in. Taking her face in my hands, I kissed her cheek bones and then the side of her mouth before placing a chaste kiss on her lips. With a slow thrust forward, I pushed into her until I was fully sheathed in her warmth. “I love you, Isabella,” I said. She responded by kissing me passionately. Wrapping her legs around my waist, she dug her heels into my backside, pulling me closer. I pulled away from her mouth to give us a moment to catch our breath before slowly moving inside of her. Every whimper she made drove the desire in me to please her. I knew in that moment that I would do anything for her. I would give her anything she asked for, because I knew that I finally was at the place that I could let go of my past and find happiness in the future. I grasped her hip and kissed along her collarbone as I made love to her. Her hips came up to meet mine as her breathing picked up and I could feel her start to tense under me. I gritted my teeth, fighting off my own release until she reached hers. Her hands went into my hair and she tugged until our lips were barely touching. When I saw the first signs of her orgasm, I slipped my tongue into her mouth and kissed her with all the love I was feeling. Her walls clamped down on me while we both went over the edge together.

Supporting my weight on my elbows, I pulled out of her and rolled to the side. She instantly curled around me, throwing one leg over my thighs and placing small kisses on my chest. I kissed her forehead and she let out a small sigh as we held onto the perfect moment for as long as we could. “What are your plans today?” she whispered, tracing small circles on my chest. “I‟m going to take a sick day,” I said, brushing her hair off of her forehead. “I have some things I need to take care of.” She looked up at me for a moment and searched my eyes before nodding her head and letting it go. I think I fell a little more in love with her at that moment. She always knew when I needed to be left alone, pushed harder or called on the carpet for my bullshit. “Well, I need to get to work,” she said with a sigh. Pulling herself up, she kissed me quickly and made her way to my bathroom to take a shower. I grabbed my phone and called the hospital, letting them know I wasn‟t coming in, before joining Bella in the shower. I dropped her off at work with a promise to pick her up at five and plans to go out for dinner with the kids. I drove into Pacific Grove and stopped at the little florist shop on Forest Avenue. When I walked in, an older silver-haired lady greeted me and asked how she could help. “Um…I need some flowers for my wife,” I said. “Oh? Is it an anniversary or maybe you need something to help get you out of the dog house?” she asked with a wink. She reminded me of Grandma Cullen and I couldn‟t help but smile before I shook my head. “No, actually she passed away awhile ago,” I said with a sad smile. The poor woman‟s face dropped and she apologized quickly. I shook my head and assured her that there was no offense taken. “What were her favorite flowers?” she asked. “Pansies were her favorite, we had a large patch of them in our backyard,” I said with a smile. I remembered the countless hours that Tanya would go out and weed her little garden. She always said she could see their personalities by the faces that they had. I shook my head at the memory, then turned my attention back to the designer. “In the Pacific Grove cemetery, there are deer that will eat just about anything you put out,” she started with an apologetic look. “I‟ve seen them walk around and eat everything but the roses out of the arrangements.” “Well then, maybe some roses would be best?” I asked. She shook her head with a small laugh. “No, after they've made short work of the rest of the flowers, they go back around and eat the roses for dessert,” she said with a smile. “They don‟t like marguerite daisies,” she said as she wrinkled her nose. Obviously, she didn‟t care for marguerite daisies. “Or lavender, or silk. We have some nice silk arrangements but personally, I like the lavender.” “Then give me a large bundle of lavender,” I said. She nodded and went to a bucket of purple flowers, pulling out a bunch. She tied a large purple ribbon around them and handed them to me. I drove down to the cemetery and felt my chest start to tighten when I pulled in the gate. The realization that I hadn‟t been here since we laid Tanya to rest was making me feel like I had neglected my duties as a husband. I

pulled over to the side and took several deep breaths, trying to push down the anxiety I felt bubbling under the surface. When I finally regained some sense of calm, I drove down the winding path to the center of the cemetery. The florist was correct, there was indeed a heard of deer making their way around the grounds munching on the remnants of the visitor's offerings. I pulled up to the pathway that would take me to Tanya‟s grave. Grabbing the flowers and a bottle of water, I climbed out of the car quickly, before I had a chance to change my mind. My feet felt like bricks as I slowly made my way down to the plot I had picked out. I glanced out over the grounds, avoiding the first sight of the headstone I had never seen. There was a sliver of ocean you could see in the distance, along with the lighthouse and the first tee at the Pacific Grove Golf Course. I sighed as I came to a stop in front of what I knew to be Tanya‟s grave. I took a deep breath of the salty ocean air before slowly turning to take the final step I needed to move on with my life. “Hello, Tanya,” I whispered. I looked over and smiled at the inscription that was carved into the granite. Tanya Ann Cullen. Beloved Wife and Mother. January 20, 1978 ~ February 12, 2006. I took a steadying breath and sank to my knees in front of the headstone. I pulled off the lid to the metal vase and poured the water in before adding the lavender. I sat back on my feet, my hands on my thighs and stared at the flowers for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. “I don‟t really know where to start,” I whispered. “I don‟t even know if you can hear me, but, I have to believe that you're out there somewhere. I cannot accept the idea that you're gone completely. Liz and Tony need you too much.” I felt the tears start to well in my eyes at the mention of our children. I took a deep breath, fighting down my sorrow. “I‟ve felt guilty for a long time for what happened. I thought that maybe if I had done something different, maybe you would still be here. That if it would have been me that had died, it would have saved our children so much grief. But, I believe that things happen for a reason. Sometimes we don‟t know what that reason is when the bad things are happening.” A tear slid down my cheek and I quickly swiped it away. “Maybe we‟ll never know why bad things happen. All we can do is make the best out of what we have left.” I choked on my words as all of the bad decisions I had made over the last three years weighed on my shoulders. “I need to apologize for the way I‟ve handled things. I let my actions hurt our children in so many ways. I didn‟t care for them the way you would have wanted me to. I left Elizabeth to find her own way of dealing with your death and have done a disservice to Tony by not keeping your memory alive with him.” By this time I was sobbing, the tears flowing freely down my cheeks as I continued to pour out my regrets. I sat there for a long time, letting my painful mistakes wash over me. Slowly, I started to feel a sense of peace. I leaned over her headstone and my fingers slowly traced the engravings. “You were a wonderful mother, and I never thought I would find someone that would care for and love our children like you did,” I whispered. I felt my heart opening up further as I sat back on my calves. “I was wrong. Bella loves Anthony and Elizabeth, and she treats them as she does her own child. I think she‟d even give you a run for your money on the Mama Bear front,” I said with a laugh. “She has a wonderful little boy Anthony‟s age and they are inseparable.” My thoughts drifted to Seth and Tony and all the innocent mischief they got into. “He‟s been good for Tony. He‟s helped him out of his shell and is teaching him not to be so shy.” “Bella has raised him well. He‟s respectful, kind and smart, with a little bit of stubbornness thrown in like his mother.” I felt the smile return to my face.

“I think you would have liked her,” I said as the tears continued to pour from my eyes. “She makes me a better man. A better father. I love her so much,” I whispered the last part. I looked out over the grounds to the cemetery and felt another sense of peace wash over me. This was what I needed, it was time to let go of my past and embrace my future. I had been thinking about asking Bella and Seth to move in with us, but sitting here, it became clear what I wanted. What all of us needed. “I want her to be with me for the rest of my life. I‟m going to ask her to marry me,” I admitted. “It‟s taken me awhile to understand that by loving her, I wasn‟t betraying you. I know now what I was feeling was irrational; that moving on wasn‟t me forgetting or replacing you. It just meant that my heart had grown and carved out a spot for Bella and Seth.” I took a long steadying breath and realized why this seemed so hard. I was finally letting go. I could really only be happy once I let go of the past and gave everything I had to Bella. The thought made me smile. “I‟m finally living up to the plea you made for me to be happy,” I whispered with a smile. “I‟ll always love you, but Bella has my heart now and she makes me happy.” I kissed my hand and touched the headstone. “Goodbye, Tanya.” OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO “Edward? What are you doing here?” Bella asked as I walked into her office. “I wasn‟t expecting you until I got off work.” She sprang to her feet and her hands went to my cheeks. Searching carefully, her eyes raked over my face. “What‟s wrong?” I pulled her into my arms and buried my face into her neck. “I just needed to see you,” I whispered, placing a kiss in the hollow of her neck. Her hands went into my hair and she held me close for several moments. “Please talk to me,” her whispered plea sounded frightened. I pulled back and looked in her eyes. “I took flowers to Tanya‟s grave,” I said. She stared back at me and waited for me to continue. “I haven‟t been there since we buried her. It was time to say goodbye.” She watched me carefully before nodding and pulling me back into her arms. “Can you take your lunch now?” I asked. “Yeah, I need to just let Angela know I‟m leaving,” she whispered. Kissing my cheek, she pulled away and went out her door, asking me to wait for her in the lobby. When she finally found me by the gift shop, we made our way over to Jasper‟s restaurant. Once we were seated, she gave me an apologetic smile before prodding me for details. “Did it help?” “Yes, I think it did,” I whispered. “I think I‟ve resolved everything that I needed to,” I said with a small smile. “However, I think I should probably take the kids. I‟m not really sure if that‟s a good idea or not, so I‟ll talk to Heidi and see what she has to say.” She nodded her agreement. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

“Edward, it‟s so nice to see you again,” Heidi said as she took my hand in a firm handshake. “Thank you for seeing me outside of our regular schedule,” I said. She motioned for me to have a seat on the couch as she pulled up a chair. “Anytime. How can I help?” she asked. “I went to the cemetery last week and finally found some closure,” I said with a half smile. “I want to take the kids, but I‟m not sure if that‟s a good idea. They haven‟t been there since we buried Tanya.” She looked thoughtful for a moment. “You know,” she began. “Sigmund Freud thought that children didn‟t have the capacity to mourn. He believed that mourning and melancholia, were too difficult of emotions for them to understand and that only in adolescence, when development was more advanced, did true grieving become possible.” I looked perplexed at the idea that my kids didn‟t grieve over their mother. The idea was preposterous to me. “Do you believe this, too?” I asked. She let out a short bark of laughter and shook her head rigorously. “Not at all. Society usually thinks that either children should be kept from the devastation of death, or that kids are resilient and will bounce back quickly,” she said. “However, I believe it‟s somewhere in the middle. While children may go through the pain and grief from a death of a parent, they can also learn and grow with the help of supportive adults.” I nodded my agreement even though her words stung slightly. I hadn't been a supportive parent for a long time, so I needed the reassurance that my actions weren‟t going to harm them anymore than I already had. “So, with what you know of our situation, do you think it would be okay to take them to visit their mother?” I asked. “Edward, you need to have a little more faith in your decisions. Give them the choice and see if they want to go. They can visit or if they decide they would rather not, then maybe they could make a card or write a letter.” She reached out and touched my arm in a reassuring gesture. “Just make sure you're there to discuss their experience and help them through it.” OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO I talked to Anthony and Elizabeth and asked if they wanted to visit their mother‟s grave. I was struck by how much they didn‟t understand about the process of visiting her even though she was gone. I had to start from the beginning and I told them a little bit about my experience of going. Elizabeth seemed very thoughtful when she said she wanted to go, whereas Tony shrugged his shoulders and said he didn‟t care. We set time aside after our next family therapy appointment to make a trip down to the cemetery. Seth and Bella had been attending our sessions, so Bella and I decided it would be best if I took the kids alone. She opted to go back to my place and have dinner ready when we returned. Tony, Liz and I stopped off at the florist I had been to when I went the first time and picked up some more lavender. Tony carried it back to the car with his nose stuck in the bunch, exclaiming how good they smelled the rest of the short drive to the cemetery.

When I parked the car, I glanced at Liz in the rearview mirror and noticed she had a pensive look on her face. “Are you ready, sweetheart?” I asked. Tony glanced from me and then to Liz with a confused look. He just didn‟t seem to understand how hard this might be on his sister, but he surprised me when he wrapped his arm around her waist and hugged her after she climbed out of the car. I led them down to the gravesite, then stood back and let them have their space. Tony knelt down with the bundle of flowers and pulled out the dried up ones I had left the week before. I smiled to myself when I realized the deer had left them alone, whereas the flowers surrounding Tanya‟s grave just had the stems sticking out of the vases. Tony carefully poured the water into the vase and set the bundle of flowers inside before standing up and coming to stand next to me. I wrapped my arm around his shoulder as we all stood there in silence for several minutes. Liz turned to me with tears in her eyes. “What do I do?” she whispered. I released Tony and wrapped my arm around her, pulling her to my side. “What do you want to do?” I asked. She shrugged her small shoulders, then looked up at me. “Nana said that if I say my prayers then mom will hear them,” she said. “Should I say a prayer?” I swallowed my own tears and nodded my head. “That might be a good place to start. Maybe talk to your mom like you were saying your prayers.” I suggested. Liz looked at Tony and beckoned him forward, but he shook his head and stayed where he was. Liz turned back to the headstone and sank to her knees while I went back to Tony and pulled him against my side. “Mommy?” Liz began with a cracking voice. “I miss you,” she whispered and then paused. I watched her back, as her small shoulders shook, before she brought her hand up and swiped at her tears. “Daddy and Bella got me a box that I can put things in that remind me of you. I put grandma‟s bracelet in it. I remember you used to wear it all the time.” Her voice was steadier than it had been as she launched into all the things she had put into the box and how they reminded her of the times they had spent together. The memento box was completely Bella‟s idea. She found a large cedar box that had pansies carved in the lid when we were window shopping in downtown Carmel. It was expensive, so I ended up buying it, but I made sure Liz knew that it came from both of us. After Liz got through detailing the contents of her memento box, she launched into the more mundane things like school and everyday life. I caught myself smiling as she told Tanya about Bella and Seth. She had come so far in such a short amount of time and I owed all of it to Bella. After a few more stories, Liz decided to wrap up her heart-to-heart. “I love you, mom,” Liz whispered. “Amen.” I smiled at the innocence of her faith when I felt Tony shake underneath my arm. I glanced down and Tony had tears running down his cheeks as he stared at the ground. I quickly knelt down beside him and grasped the belt loops on his pants. “Are you okay, slugger?” I asked. Tony‟s small face lifted until his green eyes were staring back at me. He shook his head as a soft cry came from him. I took him in my arms and hugged him close, tucking his head under my chin. “Do you want to talk about it?” He nodded but didn‟t make a move to back away, so I wasn‟t going to push him. Liz came up behind him and gently rubbed his back as he continued to soak my shirt with his tears. “What‟s the matter, Tony?” Liz asked in a soothing voice. After a few sniffles, Tony pulled back and looked at Liz with glassy eyes.

“You remember mama, but I don‟t. You talked about her reading to you and playing at the park, but all I can remember is that she looked like you,” he said between his sobs. He turned back to me and buried his face back into my chest as he clung to me. “Daddy, what would happen if you died, like mama?” he asked. I felt my tears slide down my cheeks as I gripped him closer to me. “I‟m not going anywhere,” I whispered. However, I knew I couldn‟t make that promise. Life was short and some things were completely out of my control. “Mama didn‟t want to go anywhere either, but she‟s gone,” Tony cried. I kissed the top of his head as Liz continued to soothe her brother. “If anything happened to me, then you‟d always have Nana and Papa or Alice and Jasper,” I said. “But, I want Bella,” he said as he pulled back and looked up at me. “She does all of those things that Liz said mom did with her. I want Bella to be my mommy.” I couldn‟t hold in the sob as I pulled him to me and reached for Liz. She instantly wrapped her arms around Tony and grabbed onto my arms, sandwiching him between us. After several minutes, Tony looked up at me while Liz did the same over his shoulder, expecting me to answer his plea. “I‟ll see what I can do.” Our drive home was nearly silent as Liz watched the scenery and Tony fell asleep. When we got back to the house, Liz sprinted up the stairs while I carefully pulled Tony out of the car, trying to let him sleep off his emotional meltdown. As I walked up the stairs, I thought about how I needed to help Tony too. He was always so carefree and happy, so when I saw this side of him, I was reminded that it wasn‟t just Liz that lost a mother. One thing I knew for certain, he was going to be okay. We were on the right path to healing and between Bella and I, the kids were going to be alright. I opened the door and Tony lifted his head off my shoulder and kissed my cheek. “I love you, daddy,” he whispered. I smiled and kissed his forehead before moving toward the quiet talking I heard in the kitchen. “I love you too, Anthony.” I walked into the kitchen to find Liz with her arms around Bella and she was crying quietly. I raised an eyebrow, silently asking Bella what happened when she gave me a sad smile. Liz let go of Bella and turned around to look at me through tear stained eyes. “Tony and I want Bella to be our mom,” Liz said with an air of authority. My eyes shot up to Bella‟s and she looked just as shocked as I was sure I looked. My gaze traveled back to Liz. I imagined this kind of thing coming out of Tony‟s mouth, but I really thought it would be awhile before she would be anywhere near accepting the idea. Liz‟s hands went to her hips and she glared at me, her stance reminded me of Tanya when she was irritated with something that I did. I looked helplessly at Bella and her cheeks were bright red, but she captured my gaze and looked almost expectantly at me, then I felt small arms circle around my waist, drawing my attention down to Seth. His large brown eyes stared up at me and he grinned that grin I had come to love as much as my own kids'. “My mom can be Tony and Liz‟s mom too,” he said and then his grin widened. I reached down with the hand that wasn‟t holding Tony and ruffled his hair. This is not the way I wanted to ask Bella to marry me, but I also felt like I needed to give her an idea of what my intentions were. I looked back up at Bella and she smiled sadly at me

before looking away. I realized immediately that my slow response to the question upset her and a small part of me thrilled at the idea that she wanted me to say I wanted her to be my wife. I cleared my throat, causing her to turn and look at me. I winked at her and her smile returned before I turned to the kids and gave them an exasperated look. “This is not the way I plan on proposing, so stop, or you guys are going to ruin it.” Bella gasped softly and I peeked at her quickly to see her surprised look return, before setting Tony down and nodding at them to scram. All three giggled as they ran out, leaving Bella and I standing awkwardly in the kitchen. Bella turned away from me quickly and picked up the knife she was using and went back to chopping vegetables. I came up behind her until my lips were next to her ear, but I didn‟t touch her. Her hand stopped chopping at my close proximity and she sucked in a breath. I hovered next to her ear for several seconds, my breath blowing across her neck, when I finally spoke. “You have to know that I want you forever,” I whispered, kissing the soft spot below her ear. She hummed softly and then leaned back into me, dropping the knife on the counter. “I love you, Isabella. That‟s not going to change.” She nodded against my chest. It wasn‟t the question, but more an acknowledgment of what was to come.

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Chapter 49 Forever Family Edward Cullen “Dad?” Anthony squealed right before he jumped in between Bella and me, waking both of us from a sound sleep. Bella clutched the covers to herself before she realized I slipped a shirt on her after she had fallen asleep. Sleeping in my bed was one thing, however I didn‟t want to explain why we were both naked in moments like these. Seth was a little more reserved as he followed Tony up onto the bed and cuddled against Bella‟s side. “It‟s toon time!” Anthony announced happily. I groaned, wondering if there would be time later for Bella and I to take a nap. Tony leaned over me and grabbed the remote off the nightstand and flicked on the television. I glanced over at Bella and her eyes were droopy, but she gave me a sweet smile. This was the way it should be, but we were still missing someone. Just as I was thinking about going to get Liz, the door slowly creaked open and she came padding into my room, rubbing her eyes. I held out my arms to her but she smiled at me and shook her head before making her way over to Bella‟s side of the bed and crawled up beside her. I felt my heart swell at the scene that lay before me. Tony and Seth had their heads together on my pillow, while I had turned to my side to make more room for them and draped my arm over Anthony‟s waist. Seth had his hand in Bella‟s hair while he played idly with a lock that was lying on her shoulder. But what made me feel that overwhelming surge of protectiveness, was watching my girls talking quietly with their heads together. Liz‟s head was resting on Bella‟s shoulder as she smiled at something Bella was whispering to her. Bella turned her head and looked at me with a big smile. Her hand reached over Seth and grasped mine before she mouthed, “I love you” to me over the kids. I squeezed her hand, and then played with her fingers while everyone watched Scooby Doo. It was perfect. I let my mind wander to what I had planned. I needed to sit down with each of the kids and let them know I was

going to ask Bella to marry me. I didn‟t think I was going to get any objections from Tony or Liz since they had been bugging me all week about when I was going to make Bella my wife. My main concern was Seth. He already had a dad that, as of late, stepped up and was trying to be a better father. I was worried Seth would have conflicting emotions about where to place me in the equation. Jake had realized, after Seth‟s visit, that he wasn‟t putting Seth first. He was finally calling every Sunday evening, which was a pain in the ass, because Bella insisted on being home so Seth could take his call. Sunday nights were the only nights we weren‟t together. We tried to move the sleepovers to her house on Sundays, but we agreed that it wasn‟t fair for Elizabeth, since Bella‟s house was so small and she had to sleep on the couch. I grumbled about getting her a cell phone, but she argued she didn‟t want or need one and that one night wasn‟t going to kill either of us. “Edward?” Bella asked. She pulled me out of my musings and I glanced back at her. “Liz and I just decided that we're going to get our toes done today. Maybe you could take the boys to the park or something.” That would probably be the best time to have my talk with Seth and Anthony. I‟d talk to Liz later, after Bella and Seth went home. “That sounds wonderful, Love,” I whispered. I glanced down at Liz and she was smiling widely, she snuggled closer to Bella, wrapping her arm around her waist. After our Sunday morning ritual of cartoons and pancakes, Liz and Bella drove into Monterey and the boys and I decided that we were going to head to their favorite park. I spent the next couple of hours playing hide and seek with them as they continued to amaze me. They were fast and sneaky for a couple of young boys, and just when I thought I had caught one of them, they would somehow dodge me, giggling the whole time. “Time out,” I heaved. They had completely worn me down and I was ready for a break. “Let‟s grab an ice cream at the concession stand.” They both jumped up and down in excitement, then darted to the entrance of the park. There was a baseball field right next to the park and they opened the concession stand on weekends for the park goers, even when baseball season was over. We each grabbed an ice cream sandwich before moving to a shaded area where we could relax. “So,” I began while we all finished our cool treat. “I need to talk to both of you.” “About what?” Seth asked. He popped the last of his ice cream in his mouth and turned to me expectantly. “About asking your mom to marry me.” Tony‟s eyes grew as round as saucers and he started nodding his head vigorously, but no words came out of his mouth. I glanced over at Seth, who had a thoughtful look on his face. “I wanted to see what you guys thought.” “So, would that mean that you‟d be my dad?” “Well, it‟s not that simple. You already have a dad – Jake,” I said, fighting off the grimace that came whenever I said or thought his name. “But I‟d like to be your step-father, if you‟d be okay with that.” Seth‟s brow furrowed as I held my breath in anticipation for him to fill me in on what he was thinking. He finally looked at Tony and my son‟s grin was contagious as Seth‟s lips twitched up into a smile. Seth looked back at me, cocking his head to the side. “That would mean Tony would be my brother, right?” I nodded in confirmation. “But, you‟d have to share your mom with all of us. Are you okay with that?”

“That means Tony and Liz would have to share you with me too, right?” I nodded again, feeling a sense of relief at where it sounded like he was going. “Yes, I love you, Seth, just like I do Tony and Liz. I want us all to be a family because I love you and your mom very much.” “Can I call you dad?” I sucked in my breath. I had hoped that one day he‟d get to that point, but I didn‟t expect him to want to so soon. “I would be honored if you called me dad, but, you don‟t have to.” He looked at Tony one more time and something passed between the two. Without words, they communicated some unspoken victory and then Seth‟s smile lit up his whole face. He turned back to me, standing up quickly and launching himself in my arms, knocking me back. Tony was right behind him as they tackled me to the ground and bounced happily on my stomach, chattering away about being brothers and living in the same house. I laughed out loud, then tickled them both until they fell off of me and giggled for me to stop. “So, I take it you're okay with me asking Bella to marry me?” There was a resounding “yes” from both boys. “Okay, then you have to keep this quiet. No talking to anyone about what we just talked about. You can‟t even talk to Liz until I talk to her, which will probably be tonight,” I said with a knowing stare. “And especially, do not tell Bella.” “Can I call her mommy?” Anthony asked with a hopeful look. I smiled and nodded my head. “If she says yes, then I‟m sure she‟d love that.” I ruffled Tony‟s hair and we decided to get back to the house since Bella and Liz would probably have already returned. Seth wrapped his arm around Tony‟s shoulder and Tony did the same, then they merrily walked to the car. I couldn‟t help but feel a sense of pride in what great kids my two boys were. When we got back to the house, Bella and Liz were in the kitchen talking about the finer points of baking, which went completely over my head. When I tried to help them start dinner, I was shooed out and told that they would be making dinner together. I found myself at the piano a little while later playing several songs I hadn‟t played in many years. The sounds of Mozart and Debussy wafted through the living room while the smell of garlic bread filled the house. I closed my eyes and continued to play until I felt Bella‟s presence behind me. My fingers changed course and I stared playing her song. I heard a small sigh just before her hands rested on my shoulders. Turning my head, I kissed her fingers without missing a note. “I can‟t tell you how much I love watching you play my song,” she whispered in my ear. Her close proximity and her warm breath on my cheek went straight to my pants and I felt the fabric tighten. I shook my head with a chuckle. “What?” she asked. “You make me feel like a seventeen-year-old boy all over again,” I said. I stopped playing and slid the bench back, pulling her in front of me and between the piano. I rested my forehead on her stomach as her hands slid into

my hair. “I love you, Edward,” she whispered. My lips turned up into a wide smile. The sound of her speaking those words strengthened my resolve about asking her to be my wife. I raised my head until I was looking into her eyes and smiled. “I love you more,” I said with a crooked grin. She tugged on my hair and rolled her eyes. “I doubt that.” She bent down and placed a tender kiss upon my lips. When she moved away, she let out a long sigh. “I need to go home after dinner.” “I don‟t want you to go,” I whined. Pulling her closer, I kissed the hollow of her neck and then moved to her collar bone. “You are not seducing me into staying,” she said with a raised eyebrow. I chuckled and shook my head. “Would I do that?” “Ummm…yes.” Bella laughed before pulling my hands free and dragging me off the bench. “Dinner‟s ready and Liz worked really hard, so I don‟t want to keep her waiting.” As we all sat at the dinner table, I got a strong feeling that something happened between Bella and Liz. They had made huge progress and were finally at the point where Liz was completely accepting of her, but this, this was different. Liz looked at Bella adoringly and I could see a shift in the way Bella talked and reacted to Liz. There was a comfort and ease between them that wasn‟t there before. After dinner, Bella and Seth went home for Seth‟s weekly phone call with Jake, while Anthony and Elizabeth got ready for bed. I tucked Anthony in bed, then knocked on Liz‟s bedroom door. When I walked in, Liz was reading quietly in her bed with one of the books Bella had bought her months ago. “Can we talk?” “Sure.” “I wanted to talk to you about Bella,” I said as I sat on the edge of her bed. She slowly closed her book and sat up until I had her full attention. “I want to ask her to marry me, but I wanted to talk to you about it first.” Elizabeth‟s eyes lit up and she quickly scrambled into my arms before I could say anything else. Her little cheeks were puffed up in the biggest smile I had seen in quite some time. She kissed my cheek quickly and a little squeal came from her lips. “Yes, daddy! I want Bella to be in our family,” she said happily. “You do?” I was a bit take back by her enthusiasm. She had goaded me over the last week about making it official with Bella, but I never confirmed any of my plans. I had an idea that she would probably be okay with the arrangement, but she was so moody that I never could be certain. “Yes. I love Bella, daddy,” her tone was one of disbelief that I would even question her and I had to chuckle at the turn of events. It was almost like she had completely erased her memories of the horrible way in which she had initially treated Bella.

“So you would be okay with her being your step-mom?” I asked as she nodded. “That also means that Seth would be your step-brother, too. So you wouldn‟t just gain another female in the house, but another little boy that will probably irritate you to no end,” I reminded. She frowned at me and then looked thoughtfully into space before her smile returned. Crawling back under the covers, her smile widened even further. “I can handle it,” she began. “As long as we even things out.” “What do you mean?” “I want a baby sister,” she stated simply. “A whaaa?” “A baby sister,” she stated again, looking at me like I was an idiot. I ran my hand through my hair and then raked it across my face. I had no clue how to respond to her request. I also didn‟t know if I wanted to get into the conversation of babies, not wanting to have that discussion yet. “Um…you‟re jumping ahead a little quickly. Let‟s get back to the question at hand,” I said, trying to steer her back to the proposal. “Are you really okay with Bella and Seth becoming a part of our family?” She nodded her head. “I want to reassure you that she won‟t be taking your mom‟s place. You‟ll just be the lucky kid with two moms that love you.” “I know.” There was a sad smile on her face, but she seemed more reflective than sad. I gathered her into my arms and kissed her forehead. “Thank you, Liz,” I whispered. She nodded against my chest and clung to me for a minute before flopping back onto her bed. I tucked her in and made my way to her door, but just as I opened it, she spoke. “Did you get her a ring yet?” “No, not yet,” I said. “Can I go? Maybe I could help you pick it out?” “I think that would be a great idea. Maybe we should take Seth and Tony.” Liz wrinkled her nose, before she shrugged her shoulders. “I guess,” she relented. OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Bella Swan-Black “Hurry up, mom!” Seth whined from the doorway. “Chill out,” I said, as I threw my clothes in a small tote bag. “Did you pack your toothbrush?” “No, I got one in Tony‟s bathroom already.” Of course he does. “So are we going to see Alice? I missed her while she was gone.” I held in the laughter as I remembered every time that we mentioned Alice‟s wedding, he would scowl at us. Poor Jasper was going to have to do something to win over Seth, because he was a bit peeved that his best girl was swiped out from under his nose.

“Yes, we're having a big barbecue at the house. She and Jasper returned yesterday from their honeymoon, so we‟re going to welcome the happy couple home.” Seth scowled at me and then huffed out of my room, grumbling under his breath. I let out a small chuckle as I zipped up the bag. When we pulled into Edward‟s driveway, Seth shot out of the car before I had it turned off. He darted up the stairs just as Alice opened the door and practically tackled her in his eagerness to see her. She was still giggling when I made it up the stairs and gave her a hug. “How was your trip?” “Are you kidding me?” she asked as we walked towards the kitchen. “Sandy beaches, fantastic views and that in board shorts,” she said with a smile as she pointed at Jasper. Jasper looked up and gave me a small wave before returning to marinating the steak. I laughed just as Edward came in from the patio, barbecue tongs in his hand. I instantly felt the warmth of his presence spread across my body, just being in the same room with him sent my emotions and libido into a tail spin. Edward walked over to me and gave me a quick kiss in greeting, then went for the steaks that Jasper was poking with a fork. I thought it was funny that Edward couldn‟t cook a single meal in the kitchen, but seemed to be completely capable behind a grill, which was a good thing since I burned everything that I tried to barbecue. “Mom and dad just called and they‟re running late. She said that they‟d be here in about fifteen minutes,” Edward told Alice. Alice nodded and Jasper pulled her into his arms, leaning her over. He planted a wet, sloppy kiss on her mouth before following Edward out onto the patio. “So, what needs to be done?” I asked, ignoring their playful flirting. Newlyweds. “Would you mind making the salad, while I finish up the dessert?” Alice asked as she rummaged through the refrigerator for all the salad ingredients. I pulled out a cutting board and knife just as she laid everything out on the counter. “So Liz said you guys had a good talk last week, when you took her to get a pedicure,” she said with a big smile. “Yeah, it was eye opening,” I responded. My thoughts drifted back to that day while I told Alice what had happened. “We had just been seated in the massage chairs when out of the blue, she asks me if I‟d ever want to marry Edward,” I said with a small smile. “What did you say?” Alice asked, seeming a little too eager for the answer but trying really hard not to show it. “I asked her if she wanted me to be more than her dad‟s girlfriend.” I continued to chop the tomatoes as I remembered the feelings the question had invoked. When she asked me that question, a million doubts went through my mind. I already had one failed marriage and wanted to make sure that it didn‟t happen again. But, the thought of Edward being my husband made my heart flutter and at that moment, I realized that it didn‟t matter what obstacles were thrown in our path. He was the only man I would ever love. He hinted at wanting more to our relationship and all but told me that a proposal would happen. I just didn‟t really think that deeply about it until Liz laid everything out at the salon.

“Earth to Bella?” Alice said with a chuckle and a nudge. “Sorry, I was just thinking about Edward,” I said with a blush. “So what did Liz say?” “About what?” “About if she wanted you to be her step-mom,” she said with an exasperated sigh. “Oh…Well, she told me that she and Anthony wanted me in their lives,” I said with a small smile. “It was really sweet.” “So now my stupid brother just needs to get off his duff and ask,” Alice said with a wink. “Alice, don‟t jump too far ahead of yourself. Things are comfortable as they are now, I don‟t think he‟s ready to rush into anything and I‟m perfectly content to wait,” I said. “So, if he asked you‟d say yes?” “Of course I would say yes. He‟s everything to me.” Alice let out a small squeal, wrapped her arms around my waist and gave me a bone crushing hug. “Oh my gosh, Bella! I knew it was more than a coincident when he met you on the beach. You guys are meant to be together.” I felt a small smile tug at the corners of my mouth. I couldn‟t remember how many times I counted all of the coincidences that brought us together. I wasn‟t one to really believe in fate, but there was no denying that someone had a hand in pushing us together. Alice looked up at me and kissed my cheek. “You‟ll be my sister someday soon, I can feel it.” “Woah!” Jasper said from the door. “If I would have known that you two would be doing that in here, I would have told Edward to take a flying leap and stayed for the show.” “Oh, shut up Jasper.” Alice rolled her eyes and let go of me before moving back to her dessert. “What was that?” Edward asked as he came back in the house. “Nothing,” I said quickly, not wanting Jasper to blow Alice‟s show of affection up and embarrass me to death. Edward quirked a brow, but moved in behind me and kissed my neck. “Have I told you today that I love you?” he whispered. “Not in the last eight hours.” “Hmmm, I think I need to remedy that,” he said, spinning me around to face him. He gently cupped my cheeks in his hands. “I love you,” he said as he kissed my nose. “I love you,” then he kissed my cheek. “I love you so much,” his lips descended on mine and he took my bottom lip in between his. Pulling it gently into his mouth, his tongue slid over my lip and I sighed at the intimate gesture. He pulled away and his green eyes bore into mine. With all the love I felt roll off him, he whispered one last time, “I love you.”

He released my face and my hands slid up around his neck, “I love you, too.” “None of that mushy stuff!” Emmett‟s booming voice startled all of us as he walked into the kitchen. He chuckled at his disturbance before Rose smacked him on the back of the head. “Can it,” Rose said with a smirk. Her girls popped their heads in the kitchen and when they noticed the kids weren‟t around, ran up the stairs to find them. “Mom and Dr. Daddy just pulled up,” Rose said with a wink. She enjoyed Carlisle‟s flirting a little too much. The evening was spent with tales of Alice and Jasper‟s adventures in Hawaii. Tony kept pushing Jasper to tell him about the waves at North Shore, while Seth continued to glare at Jasper. Not even stories of surfing were thawing my son out towards him. Liz was acting odd during dinner and I wondered what was wrong, but every time I broached the subject, Edward would cut in and distract me with mundane questions. After awhile, I caught Liz and Edward whispering to each other and I told myself that I needed to remember to ask him what was going on later. The sun was dipping low into the horizon when we finished dinner. I stood to help clear the dishes when Esme snagged the plates out of my hand and informed me that she and Carlisle were taking care of clean up. I sighed and relented, knowing that there was no use arguing with her. “Come and take a walk with me,” Edward whispered in my ear as he grasped my elbow and led me to the door. “We can‟t just leave,” I said quickly. “Your family-,” “Will understand,” he cut me off. I shook my head, but followed him out of the house anyway. I wasn‟t going to deny the fact that I wanted some alone time with him as much as he wanted it with me. We went out the gate and down to the beach where we walked hand-in-hand. The sun was just starting to touch the horizon when he stopped at the water's edge and turned me to him. The look on his face showed nothing but love as he bent down and kissed me soundly. When he pulled away, my eyes fluttered open to see him holding a little blue box. My heart skipped a beat as my mind raced at what this could mean. I stared at the box as my hand trembled while I took it from him. It was a cardboard box that usually held a smaller velvet ring box. When I opened it, I was surprised to see several folded pieces of paper laid neatly inside. That was not what I was expecting. I let out the breath I hadn‟t realized I had been holding as my eyes darted up to Edward‟s. He had a small smile on his face and nodded towards the box. “Read them,” he whispered. I pulled out the top note and unfolded it to find Seth‟s chicken scratch scrawled over pretty pink paper with hearts all over it. I love your hugs and kisses. I smiled at his admission. I never would have guessed that he actually liked the public displays of affection since he whined so much about them. I wondered if he was writing what he really loved, or what he thought I wanted to hear. I chuckled to myself before folding the paper back up and pulled out the next one. The handwriting of Anthony‟s neat script was written across the same printed paper.

I love when you make dinner and it feels like we are a real family. I smiled sweetly at the paper and felt tears prick at my eyes. I glanced up at Edward and his smile never faltered. If anything, he seemed to radiate his love even more. I bit my lip before pulling out the next paper that I figured out was from Elizabeth. I love that you are always so nice, even when I‟m mean, and that you do things with me that remind me of my mom. I couldn‟t hold back the tears any longer and they freely slid down my cheeks. There was one more note at the bottom and I pulled it out slowly, knowing that it would be from Edward. I love everything about you. You make me whole and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Edward‟s quick movement drew my attention from his love note and I watched as he dropped down to one knee, a small black box in his hand. “Marry me?” he said as he popped open the small box. My stunned stare drilled into his beautiful green eyes and I knew that this was the right thing to do. This was the next step in my Happily Ever After. I sank to my knees and threw myself into his arms. “Yes, a thousand times over, yes!” I said. His arms wound around my back and he pulled me closer. I tilted my head up and met his lips as he kissed me with a passion that made my toes curl. In one swift motion, he stood and scooped me up into his arms, twirling me around. I let out a loud laugh as I caught a glimpse of the whole Cullen clan standing in the picture window watching us. “We have an audience,” I said with a small laugh. He looked to the house and then grinned back at me. “Well then, let‟s give them a show because as soon as we get back to the house, I‟m kicking them all out.” He pulled me closer until his mouth met mine. His lips were urgent against mine as he gently nudged mine apart and his tongue slipped inside. My hands wrapped in his hair and I tugged him to me, letting him know that I was far from finished with his mouth. Our tongues slid against each other and I felt that familiar stir in the pit of my stomach. Gasping for breath, I pulled away and looked into Edward‟s eyes. Every emotion was perfect. He was perfect. “I will love you forever,” he whispered. “And I you.”

~*~

Epilogue I couldn't believe that I was standing here, waiting to marry the man of my dreams. Every step that I had taken in my life led me to this point. I stared out from the plush hotel room window, over looking Waikiki Beach. Alice had been a life saver at planning the whole thing. If it had been up to me, we would have been getting married in front of the Carmel house.

I heard a small knock on the door as Alice and my mother came in to help me finish getting ready. “You look so lovely with your hair pulled up like that,” Alice cooed as she ran in and embraced me. Alice had arranged for a makeup artist to come in and do my hair and make up and I was slightly surprised at the transformation that had taken place. My mother walked over to me and took me in her arms. “You truly look beautiful, sweetheart,” she said, as she kissed my cheek. “Thanks Mom.” I pulled away and went back to the window, watching as my father made his way to the area that I would be married. He waved his arms frantically at one of the men setting up chairs and I couldn‟t help but giggle at his annoyance. My mother came up behind me and looked down at what had caught my attention. She let out a little bark of laughter when Daddy started picking up chairs and rearranged them himself. “Oh my, maybe I need to go down and talk to him,” she whispered. I shook my head and embraced her again as we watched him shouting orders. “No, let him get all of his anxiety out on the chairs. Better then him flipping out on the groom again,” I said with laugh. Alice and my mother started laughing as we remembered the first time Daddy met my soon-to-be husband. “When he pulled out the shotgun and started loading it in front of Justin, I thought that poor boy was going to pee his pants right there,” Alice said with a laugh. “He learned that trick from my father,” my mom said. “What? I haven‟t heard this story?” I took her hand and pulled her towards the oversized bed and we all sat down. My mother let out a long sigh as she recounted the tale of the first time Daddy met Grandpa Charlie. “The weekend after Edward proposed, we flew up to Washington so he could formally ask Charlie for my hand in marriage. Unfortunately, Seth had already gotten to Charlie and filled him in on the proposal. So, when we came into the house, he led us to the kitchen table where he was cleaning his gun.” We were all giggling at the thought of Grandpa being so intimidating because we all knew he was just a big teddy bear at heart. “How did Daddy take it?” “Not as well as Justin did. I think he considered eloping, then moving and changing all of our names,” she laughed. “However, once Charlie found out he was a doctor and was raising his two kids, I think he softened up enough to get to know Edward a little better.” “I think that's so funny because Grandpa Charlie loves Daddy,” I said. My mother nodded in agreement. “I just hope my wedding is as perfect as yours and Daddy‟s was,” I said. I was only ten years old when they were married, but I remembered the beauty in its simplicity. “Perfect doesn‟t just happen,” Alice snorted. “I spent months making sure that everything would be perfect, just like I did today.” I leaned over and hugged Alice again. “Thanks Aunt Ali, for making this day special for me,” I whispered, fighting back the tears that were threatening to spill. “I just wanted to be married on the beach like Mom and Dad, with family surrounding us.”

I felt my mother rise from the bed as I let go of Alice and glanced at her. She was still as beautiful as she was fifteen years ago. Her mahogany hair still held the shine that it did then and there wasn‟t one hint of gray, unlike my father who had a splatter of gray at his temples. He didn‟t seem to be as worried about it like Papa was. My mother ran her fingers over the front of my wedding gown and then smiled at me. “Should we get you into your gown? The ceremony starts in a half an hour,” she said as she looked at the clock. I nodded and stood up just as the pounding on the door began. “Open up! We need to give the bride something!” I rolled my eyes as I heard the deep voice of my brother, and I made my way to let them in. As soon as I popped the latch, Seth pushed it open as quickly as he could and scooped me up in his arms, swinging me around while Anthony followed him inside. I caught the strong smell of sea water and looked down to see huge arms clutching me against a bare chest. I groaned as I shoved at him. “Put me down, right this minute!” I squealed. He chuckled, then loosened his hold until my feet were firmly on the ground. I pushed him back and noticed that he was in board shorts. I glared at Seth and then glanced over at Anthony who was also in a pair of board shorts. “You had to go surfing today? You couldn‟t wait until tomorrow?” I accused, giving both of them the evil eye. “You only have a half an hour before the ceremony starts” “Don‟t worry Sis, we‟ll be ready,” Anthony assured. He was always the responsible one, so it irked me that Seth had probably talked him into catching a wave before the wedding. Either that or they were trying to impress some girl. Both of them turned out to be extremely good looking. It was always a chore, fighting off the girls when we were in high school. Even my friends, who were a couple years older, were panting after them. During my senior year in high school, I stopped having sleepovers after one of my friends wound up getting caught in Seth‟s bed the next morning. Mom was livid. I didn‟t think I had ever heard her swear like that before. Tony was just as bad as Seth, however, he had learned the art of being discreet. It didn‟t hurt their popularity with the ladies now that they were both successful. Seth started his own dot com business right in the heart of Silicon Valley and in the first year made enough to pay for all four years of college. That is, if he would have continued. Dad was furious that he didn‟t finish his education, but he stopped complaining when Seth showed him his tax returns and they showed that he made more than Daddy did that year. That was the end of the education speech. Anthony, on the other hand, was starting his first year of med school. He chose to go to Stanford and continue the Cullen legacy. I felt sorry for the ladies in the bay area because these two were heartbreakers. Anthony had one steady girlfriend for awhile, but whatever happened, it ended badly. Ever since the break-up, he had adopted Seth‟s rules on women. And yes, there were rules. I just didn‟t want to know the specifics. “You boys need to get out of here, get showered and down on the beach quickly. If you stall this wedding, you are not going to like the wrath of Alice or myself.” “Yes ma‟am,” Anthony said with that crooked grin that reminded me of Daddy. He walked over and kissed Mother‟s cheek before slapping Seth on the back. Seth started for the door and then, almost as an after thought, turned around and kissed our mother‟s cheek. A devilish smirk lit up his face as he started towards me with his arms wide open.

“The bride needs a hug from her loving brother,” he grinned. I squealed as I ran around the bed. Seth‟s hugs always turned into a noogie and there was no way he was messing up the three hours I sat in the stylist‟s chair. “Don‟t you dare come anywhere near me!” I squealed. “Do I need to call your father in here?” Mother asked. Her stern tone left no room to argue, but I could see the small smile playing at her lips. Seth hung his head in defeat and then turned for the door. “Save us a dance, Lizzy,” he called over his shoulder as he made his way out the door. I let out a sigh of relief and slumped onto the bed. “Let‟s get you dressed, Lizard,” Alice teased with a bounce in her step. I groaned and my lip jutted out. “Can‟t I go one day without that horrid nickname making an appearance?” I whined. Alice and Mom snickered as they pulled the dress from the hanger. I stood up and slipped the robe off my shoulders and Alice let out a cat call. “Justin is going to be quite surprised to see that.” Alice remarked, as she appraised the lingerie she had picked out. I smiled and nodded my head in agreement. “Oh my, please don‟t mention anything pertaining to the honeymoon in Edward‟s presence. I honestly don‟t think he will be able to take it,” my mother groaned. We all started laughing as they slipped the dress over my head, being careful not to touch the perfectly placed curls. “I hate to run, but I have to make sure everything is in order in the reception hall before the ceremony,” Alice said, as she picked up her purse and kissed my cheek. “You look beautiful, Elizabeth.” I saw a glisten in her eye before she quickly turned away and flounced out of the room. I glanced at the woman who had been my mother for the past sixteen years. She smiled at me and I saw so much pride in her expression. That look was what drove me to be better. Ever since the day she married my father, and I called her my mother, I had wanted nothing more than to please her. She loved me unconditionally through my bratty adolescence and then was the shoulder that I cried on when I got my heart broken for the first time. She cried when I went off to college and was there when I graduated. She was my mother in every way. I thought back to when Daddy told me he wanted to marry her. He reminded me that I would be the lucky girl that had the love of two mothers, and I did. I occasionally would find myself missing my birth mother and Bella was the person that I turned to in those moments. She would always say the right thing to help me through my loss. Alice once told me of the story of how they met and I often wondered if my real mother had anything to do with it. The coincidences were remarkable and there was no denying that Bella was exactly what our family needed at that time. I felt a tear slide down my cheek and Bella instantly took me into her arms. I towered over her by almost five inches, but she still pulled me down until her face was inches from mine. “What is it, Liz?” she asked, as she pressed a kiss to my temple. “I‟m just so grateful that you are my mother,” I whispered. “That you came into our lives when you did. I don‟t know what would have happened to Daddy. He‟d probably still be alone and then I would have probably turned into a hateful person.” Bella shushed me quietly as she took me in her arms and rubbed my back. “None of that matters. We're a family and you can‟t look back on the „what ifs‟,” she said quietly. I nodded my head and looked into her eyes as she continued to pour out the love that she radiated.

“Do you think that Justin and I can have a love like you and daddy?” I asked. I was starting to feel the nerves bubble in my stomach. I knew that Justin and I loved one another, almost from the moment we laid eyes on each other, but I couldn‟t help but be worried. I saw the perfect example of love and wanted what my father and Bella had. “Oh baby,” Bella whispered. “I see it in his eyes. Justin looks at you like your father always looks at me. He‟s a good man. You need to hold on to him tightly and not ever let him go.” “How did you know that Daddy was the one?” I asked. Bella took a deep breath and let it out with a contented sigh. “I always knew that he was who I wanted to spend my life with,” she began. “But it was so much more. I fell in love with the way he loved you and Tony, and how he took Seth under his arm and loved him, even though he wasn‟t his biologically. I fell in love with his compassion and that he could love so deeply that he could keep your mother in his heart without ever making me feel like I meant less than she did,” she said. She chuckled lightly before she continued. “It wasn‟t always perfect. We butted heads on more than one occasion when it came to raising you kids, and there were sometimes that I wanted to slap the arrogant comments right out of him. But that‟s what marriage is all about. It‟s just a matter of making sure that you always give more than you take.” I nodded my head in agreement. I had watched that happen over the years and they were the perfect example of balance in a relationship. Bella was brushing the tears carefully off my cheek that I hadn‟t realized had fallen, when there was a knock at the door. “Come in,” she called. My father opened the door slowly as he came in and I couldn‟t help but smile at the sheepish look he had on his face. He knew he was in the doghouse for the way he treated Justin at the rehearsal, but I couldn‟t be mad at him because he was still my sweet, over protective daddy. “Look at you, sweetheart,” he said as he came into the room. “You look as beautiful as Bella did on our wedding day.” He came up to me, kissed my forehead and all was forgiven for his caveman behavior the night before. “Thank you, Daddy.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him close, just as I saw the flash of a camera. We both looked over at Bella and she was standing with a wide grin on her face. “Another photo for the scrapbook,” she sang. I rolled my eyes. My mother had turned into a scrapbook addict, thanks to Nana. They spent a couple nights a month either at our house or Nana‟s, scrapbooking until the wee hours of the night. Nana and Papa bought a small cottage in Carmel Valley after Daddy and Bella were married. Nana said they preferred the constant sun, but wanted to be close enough to their family and the ocean. They bought an old vineyard and Papa said he was going to start making his own wine. It was a running joke in the family that he just wanted an excuse to become a lush and shirk his responsibilities. Of course, Papa was anything but those things, but it didn‟t stop Uncle Em and Daddy from teasing him. Daddy held out my arms and looked me over before letting out a long sigh. “My baby girl is finally all grown up and ready to start her own family.” There was a hint of sadness in his voice. “I thought I was your baby girl?” a small voice said from the doorway. We turned to see my baby sister, Renesmee, walking in the room. She had a brilliant smile that lit up any room she walked into. Her bronze hair was pulled up into a stylish twist that had curls cascading over her shoulders; her chocolate brown eyes held a glint of mischief that was so similar to Seth‟s, that it fit her personality perfectly. She was dressed in a simple blue dress I had picked out for my bridesmaids that complimented her skin tone.

At fifteen, Renesmee was quickly becoming a woman. With her drop dead gorgeous looks and her sarcastic personality, she was more than a handful for my parents to deal with. For the most part, she was a good girl, but she was stubborn and wanted her freedom more than the rest of us ever did, which caused her to constantly butt heads with my father‟s over protective ways. Our brothers doted on her while we were growing up, along with giving her a sense of adventure that couldn‟t be contained. “Can‟t I have more than one baby girl?” my father asked cheekily, with a raised eyebrow. Renesmee laughed and shook her head. “You can have whatever you want, Daddy,” she said as she kissed his cheek. “You look beautiful, Lizard,” she said with a smirk. I scowled at her and then smiled sweetly before turning to Daddy. “I think you may need to keep an eye on that waiter from last night‟s dinner,” I said evilly. Renesmee gasped next to me and I could almost feel her anger come off in waves. “What waiter?” Daddy asked. “The one that was flirting with Mae,” I said with an air of victory. Renesmee stomped her foot, willing me to stop the direction the conversation was going in. “I caught her outside the rehearsal dinner exchanging phone numbers with him and from what I understand; he'll be at the reception tonight.” Renesmee growled at me before turning back to Daddy, trying to smooth over the wrath that was sure to come. He faced her with a frown, while Bella sat on the bed and giggled uncontrollably at the irrational papa bear that was about to make an appearance. “I want to be able to see you at all times during the reception. If you disappear like you did in Paris, I‟m going to ground you for life,” he spat. I held in the chuckles while she tried to smooth things over by turning into the princess that she had become. If she worked it right, she would have him wrapped around her finger in a matter of seconds. Bella stood up and placed her hands on her shoulders. “You're not sweet talking your way out of this one,” she said as she pulled Renesmee to the door. “We‟ll see you downstairs.” Renesmee gave me a malicious glare before closing the door. I let out a small chuckle and watched as my father ran his hands through his hair in aggravation. “How come she‟s so head strong? You were never like that,” he said. I snorted at that comment. How easily he forgot how horrible I actually was. “I beg to differ. I was just as bad as she was when you and Bella first started dating.” “That was different,” he said in an exasperated tone. “You were young and I was stupid.” He pointed at the closed door. “She is completely out of control. You never got into trouble as a teenager. Even Seth and Anthony didn‟t have anything on her.” I couldn‟t contain the giggles. “The joys of being a parent,” I said with a smile. “Just you wait until you have kids,” he said and then shook his head. “I don‟t even want to think about that.” I couldn‟t contain the giggles. My father took my hand and all teasing vanished as his green eyes scanned my face.

“You look so much like your mother did when we were married,” he whispered. I felt the tears start to prick behind my eyes and I smiled. He smiled sadly back at me as we shared a quiet moment of reflection. “I wish she was here,” I said quietly. He pulled me into his arms and I buried my face in his chest, trying not to wipe my make up on his crisp white shirt. “She is. She‟s always been with you and I‟ve come to realize that she‟s watched over all of us through the years. I sometimes wonder if she had a hand in bringing Bella into our lives.” I nodded my agreement, a little in awe at him saying the same thing that I had been thinking earlier. His finger slid under my chin and he lifted my face up to his. “I love you, baby.” “I love you too, Daddy.” OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO Edward Cullen I needed to keep it together until after the ceremony. This day had been planned for almost a year, but it was still the hardest thing I had ever had to do. I shook my head as I led my daughter down into the lobby of the hotel. I gripped her hand in mine and could almost feel the nervousness wash over her. When we reached the patio doors that led down to the beach, where I would hand her over to an unworthy male, I stopped and turned her towards me. “Are you sure this is what you want to do?” I asked for the hundredth time that weekend. “It‟s not too late. We can go out, get in the rental car and I can take you home.” I could hear the almost pleading in my voice. I knew that this Justin character was a good guy. He had just passed the bar and was now a full fledged attorney. He‟d be able to provide her with the luxury that she was accustomed to, and from what I had observed, loved her more than life itself. However, I couldn‟t help but feel that no man was good enough for my baby. I admit, I had been a complete ass at the rehearsal dinner, but I had my suspicions that he was pushing my buttons too. Bella reassured me that he wasn‟t, as she pulled me out of the restaurant and reprimanded me like a five-yearold. She told me that there was only room for one man in her life and I needed to let go. I knew she was right, but I was having a hard time accepting it. “I‟m sure, Daddy. I love him more than anything,” she whispered. Her beautiful blue eyes looked up at me and I had the confirmation that I needed. I nodded, then wrapped her arm around mine and opened the door that led to my heartache. As we approached the beach, Liz kicked off her shoes and I did the same, both of us stepping out onto the fine sand. I was extremely thankful she had opted for a casual wedding. She looked lovely in a simple white dress that billowed slightly around her with the ocean breeze. I kept my eyes focused on where I was going and avoided the gaze of my soon-to-be son-in-law. I glanced up and Bella was smiling widely at us, a tear sliding down her cheek. Both my boys were grinning from ear-to-ear and I felt the smile tug at my lips. They loved their sister so much. It took awhile for us to all find our groove together after Bella and I married. It took moving out of the Carmel house and into one that was for all of us before things started to feel more like ours. The house was now a vacation rental and one day we would pass it on to the children, but however much we tried to make things work, it always felt like Tanya‟s house. Bella and Liz planted pansies at the new house so Liz and Tony could have a little piece of their mother with them. Bella also did other small things to show that just because we moved, she wasn‟t trying to erase Tanya. We kept several of the more expensive art pieces, but left most at the house. Bella had taken photographs of the house

and made a scrapbook for Anthony and Liz so they could remember how it looked before we got it ready to be rented out. I felt Liz squeeze my arm and it pulled me back to the present where I knew that I was about to hand my little girl over to the big bad wolf. I stopped in front of Justin and his eyes were completely transfixed on my baby. I looked over at Liz and there was a glint in her eye and I couldn‟t deny that she loved him very much. I let out a long sigh, drawing both their attention to me. I looked into Justin‟s eyes and he gave me a knowing smile. I felt myself soften a little to his obvious understanding of how hard this was for me. “She‟s my little girl, so take good care of her,” I said quietly. His smile widened and he nodded his head at my consent. I turned to my lovely daughter and the tears she had been holding back were freely falling. I reached up and brushed them away as I felt the lump in my throat tighten. “I love you, Lizzy. I just want you to be happy.” “Thank you, Daddy,” she said with a small smile. I leaned in and kissed her cheek softly, just as my own tear slid down my face. I took her hand and gently placed it in Justin‟s, then turned to see my beautiful wife with her own tears falling. As soon as I sat down beside her, she wrapped her arm around my back and whispered soothingly to me. The ceremony was over too quickly and I tried to hold back the protectiveness I felt when her husband dipped my baby girl slightly and planted a hearty kiss on her lips. We stayed out on the beach where the photographer took several pictures, then sent us up to the restaurant where we would end the evening with a small reception of family and close friends. “They really are perfect for each other,” Bella whispered as we watched them glide effortlessly across the dance floor. I grunted in response, which earned a cackle from my beloved. “Oh no, they didn‟t.” Bella‟s voice had changed from light to a low growl. I looked in the direction she was glaring and was met with the sight of Seth and Anthony walking in, with not one, but two girls on their arms. I let out a laugh that earned a pinch from my wife before she stood up to confront my two playboy sons. I grabbed her arm and tugged her back down into her seat before she caused a scene. “You complain that I‟m over-protective of Liz and Mae, but then look at you when it comes to the boys,” I teased. “I‟m not over-protective,” she defended. “After Tony‟s nasty break up, I just don‟t want to see them get wrapped up with more gold diggers,” she stated with a huff. I laughed and pointed to the two girls that they had brought. “I don‟t think a relationship is what's on either of their minds,” I said with a laugh. Bella growled at me and then that devilish smirk was on her face and I knew I was in trouble. “I wonder how long before Liz and Justin start their family. You know, we could have a honeymoon grandbaby,” she said happily. It was my turn to growl, and then I glanced over at the happy couple as they ended their dance. “I don‟t want you to even bring that up,” I snapped as my eyes continued to follow them back to their table. She let out a laugh at irritating me before she leaned in and whispered seductively in my ear. “I can take your mind off of it, if you like?” Her warm breath tickled the hair behind my ear and I felt myself straining in my pants. After sixteen years of marriage, she still had complete command over my body. “Oh really? What is it that you have in mind?” I asked, turning to face her. The mischievous grin on her face told me exactly what she had planned. I smiled to myself before standing up and holding out my hand to her. She looked nervously back at the table our daughter was sitting at, before shaking her head.

“Edward, we can‟t leave now. What would Liz think?” “What are you talking about?” I asked. Her face turned to confusion as I held in my chuckle and kept a straight face. “We aren‟t leaving. I just want to dance with my beautiful wife.” I watched as relief and then slight disappointment marred her features. “After the dance, we're slipping out of here, even if I have to throw you over my shoulder.” Her smile returned and she placed her hand in mine as I pulled her against my side. I led her out onto the floor and spun her around before pulling her into my arms. I watched as Jasper led out his only girl and propped her up on his toes before dancing her around the floor. My parents were sitting in a corner table, talking with Alice and Emmett. We were all on baby watch as Rose stayed behind with Lily since she was about to give birth to their first grandchild. I scanned the room for Mae and found her leaning over the bar, talking with the waiter from last night. My body tensed and Bella looked up to see what had gotten my attention. She squeezed my hand, distracting me from going over there and dragging Mae away. “Relax, Papa Bear. She‟s just talking to him,” Bella said with a laugh. I found myself smiling, even with my desire to go shove my fist through the bartender's perfectly white teeth. “So, do tell what you have planned after you throw me over your shoulder and drag me away like the caveman I know and love.” “Mmmmm, Mrs. Cullen. That, I will just have to show you,” I said, pulling her closer until she could feel what she was doing to me, pressed into her stomach. She let out a small groan and I chuckled, feeling quite satisfied that I could get the same reaction out of her that she got from me. The song changed and I looked up at the DJ. Liz was standing next to him smiling at me and Bella. The sound of Aerosmith came through the speakers and I looked at Bella who was smiling up at me. “We were dancing to this when you finally told me you loved me,” she whispered. I nodded as her head rest softly on my shoulder. I felt like the luckiest man in the world. I had a beautiful family and the most amazing wife that any man could ask for. She held not only my heart, but my soul; forever.

~*~

The End ~*~

Holding Out For You Outtakes Outtake 1 - Where do babies come from? Edward Cullen "Hey there sweetheart," I cooed. Mae's eyes fluttered open as she stared up at me with her deep chocolate eyes. I tucked her pink blanket tighter around her as I made my way to the refrigerator. "Are you hungry, honey?" I whispered. She continued to stare up at me with curious eyes. I pulled her close and kissed her forehead, moving to the sink with the milk Bella had pumped earlier in the day.

I promised my beautiful wife and mother to my children the day off, and she had taken full advantage of the opportunity. We had only been home for a few short hours from the hospital, and the birth of Mae hadn't been peaches and roses. Hence, my insistence that she take it easy and get some much deserved sleep. After sixteen hours of hard labor, Bella's OBGYN decided that an emergency C-section was unavoidable when Mae's heart rate started dropping during every contraction. I was thankful at that moment that someone else was in charge, because I couldn't keep my emotions in check as I watched the doctor and nurses frantically prep her for surgery. I was usually level-headed in any type of emergency, but seeing my wife of only ten months being wheeled away from me was almost my breaking point. Mae's little body wiggled in my embrace as one of her arms slipped out of the blanket. I looked back down at her as I pulled the bottle out of the warm water. Her face puckered up before a small whimper escaped her perfect lips. With my hands full, I hurried to get the bottle ready as her soft cries started to pierce my heart. I spoke softly to her, testing the temperature of the milk while heading towards the living room. I gently bounced her, trying to calm her down before Bella woke up and came out in all her mama bear glory. I brought the bottle up to her lips and she attacked it with a little shake of her head before instantly latching on. I chuckled softly at her enthusiasm and then gently rocked her while I took in every inch of her features for the millionth time over the last four days. She had a mop of red hair that was so much like Anthony's and mine that I smiled every time I ran my fingers over its fine texture. Her eyes already looked exactly like her mother's, not only in color but in the depth which they seemed to penetrate my very soul. Bella had been right all along, one look at Mae and she had me wrapped around her little finger. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the back of the chair as she greedily fed. I still felt the complete joy that I had when I figured out, long before Bella did, that she was pregnant. I don't think that joy, had left me throughout her whole pregnancy. The idea of being a father again, and with the woman that I love more than anything, was like being hopped up on Prozac for the last nine months. A small smile played at my lips as I remembered the morning that Bella realized she was pregnant. 9 months earlier "Bella?" I called as I walked through the empty kitchen. Her car was parked out front, so I knew she was home, but her silence as I called was starting to make me panic. I darted up the stairs after checking the living room and pushed open our bedroom door. "Bella?" I called again, my voice rising. I heard a small groan from the bathroom and quickly walked towards it, flinging the door open in my haste. Bella was curled around the toilet, her head resting on the seat, looking far too pale for my liking. I rushed to her and knelt down beside her, my hand going to her back. "Oh, love," I moaned as I pulled the hair away from her face. Her eyes slowly opened and she looked up at me with anguish in her eyes.

"I took the kids to school and had to pull over twice to throw up before I even got home," she complained, as a tear slipped out from under her lashes. "I've been here since I got home." She motioned to the bowl and I fought back the small smile that threatened to emerge. "This is the fourth morning in a row that you've been sick," I prompted, emphasizing the morning part. I rubbed her back slowly as I thought about what that probably meant. I kept a fairly close eye on her calendar since we had talked about trying to get pregnant, and she was a week late. Before the wedding, Bella went off her birth control and I think both of us thought it would take longer than this, but the signs were pretty clear. "I think I've got the flu," she groaned. I couldn't help the chuckle that escaped as her eyes opened quickly and she glared at me. How can she be so clueless? "I don't think you have the flu." "Food poisoning? I did have sushi the night before I started to get sick. Maybe it was that?" She tried to sit up but once she was upright, she let out another long groan and leaned her head against the toilet paper roll. "I don't think its food poisoning either," I whispered. She looked at me quizzically, but I just shrugged my shoulders thinking that she would probably prefer my theories once she was cleaned up. "Would you like a shower?" She nodded slowly so I stood and carefully scooped her up in my arms. Walking her to the bathroom counter, I set her down and proceeded to undress her. My hands ghosted over her shoulders and I couldn't resist letting them slide against her flat stomach as images of her carrying my child filled my mind. "Why are you smiling?" "Am I?" I asked as I tried to mask my elation. "Yes…you are?" I watched as a frown marred her features. "I'm sick and you're acting like this is some kind of flipping comedy act. What in the hell is wrong with you?" I barely caught the snort before I pissed her off more. I figured that it probably wouldn't make her happy to hear me laughing at her expense. The tone in her voice was something I hadn't heard often, but it usually popped up when she was in the throes of her cycle. Just another sign that pregnancy hormones were kicking into high gear. "Well?" she asked impatiently, when I didn't answer her quick enough. I leaned down and kissed her forehead softly. "I love you, honey," I whispered, before turning on the water for the shower. She let out an exasperated sigh and I smiled widely, wiping it off of my face when I turned back around to help her off the counter. From my view, I couldn't help letting my eyes rake over her soft curves. There was no noticeable difference, but when I slipped my hands under her arms, she winced slightly when my wrist grazed her breast. Tender breasts…yet another sign.

Bella melted under the warm water. I stood in the shower doorway watching her for a moment as her hands went into her hair and lathered in her shampoo. The distinct smell of Bella hit my senses and I quickly excused myself before I climbed in with her and ravished her body. Instead, I handed her a toothbrush and then took a large towel and went downstairs to throw it in the dryer. I went into the kitchen while I waited for her towel and gathered up some crackers and 7-Up to help ease her morning sickness. The smile kept creeping up on my face and I found myself, on several occasions, humming her lullaby in my blissful state. I grabbed the tray of snacks and the towel before hurrying back up to the bathroom. I dropped the snacks on the bedside table, then entered the bathroom. She shut the water off and I quickly held out the towel for her to wrap herself in. Kissing the top of her head, I turned her in my arms and began to gently dry her off. Her small sighs of contentment showed me that I was forgiven for my previous wrong doing. "Do you feel better now?" I whispered against her damp hair. She nodded slightly and leaned back against me. "I'm just really tired and sore all over," she whined. "I don't like to be sick. Maybe I should take a nap." I agreed that was probably the best thing for her, as I helped her into one of my t-shirts and tucked her into bed. Within moments, she was fast asleep. I left her a quick note telling her that I was picking up the kids, then headed to the nearest drug store to purchase the test that would confirm what I already knew, before swinging by the school and picking up the kids. When we got home, I told them that their mom was sleeping and that they needed to be on their best behavior as I ran up the stairs to find Bella climbing out of bed. She looked better than she did the first time I found her, but I wanted her to stay in bed as much as possible. "What are you doing?" I asked a little too abruptly. She gave me a look that said she thought I lost my marbles before pointing towards the bathroom. "I need to go to the bathroom, is that alright?" she asked, with sarcasm dripping from her voice. I really needed to watch the mood swings with her so I didn't totally piss her off. I quickly rushed to her side with the small paper bag in my hand. She looked down at my purchase and then back up to me. "Did you get something for my stomach?" she asked innocently. One side of my lip curled up into a crooked grin, but before I could answer, her eyes widened slightly and then she snatched the bag out of my hand before I could protest. She dumped the small box into her hand and stared at it slack jawed before her eyes finally met mine. Comprehension dawned in her eyes and she shook her head slightly in disbelief. "It couldn't have happened that quickly. I thought once you hit your thirties it could take longer to get pregnant." She looked back at the box and then at me again. I shrugged lightly, watching her for any sign of a mental meltdown. Instead, she pushed her shoulders back and walked to the bathroom. I followed right behind her, but once I stepped foot into the bathroom, she turned and pushed me back out the door.

"I love you, but some things should remain a mystery," she said with a sigh, before closing the door in my face. I leaned forward and rested my forehead on the door and listened intently to find out the fate of our family. After several minutes, I turned my back on the door and slid down until I was sitting on the floor, my knees up to my chest as I waited for her to let me back in. Three minutes, right? I think it says only three minutes before you get the results. Three minutes was a lifetime with the anxiety that was paralyzing me. After several agonizing minutes, the door slowly opened and I caught myself before I tumbled backwards into the bathroom. Standing quickly, I looked at my beautiful wife, who was staring, open mouthed, at the little white plastic stick in her hand. I leaned forward to get a peek at the results and she quickly pulled it to her chest so I couldn't see. "What does it say?" I asked impatiently. My eyes traveled from the stick in her hand until I met her watery gaze and my heart plummeted. Not this time around. That's okay; it was only the first month after the wedding. We had plenty of… "I'm pregnant." "What?" It took me all of two seconds to register what she said. "I'm pregnant," she repeated, and then I watched as a tear slipped out of the corner of her eye. My hands went to her face, cupping both of her cheeks in my hands. "Bella, Love? I thought this is what you wanted," I whispered. My joy was temporarily squashed at the prospect that she wasn't happy about the outcome. Her chocolate eyes met mine and then the biggest smile I had ever witnessed lit up her beautiful features. "This is what I want. I'm going to have a baby," she said in disbelief. "I'm going to have your baby." My heart swelled at her acceptance and happiness over the news. I leaned down and brushed my lips against hers in a tender kiss, tasting the salt of her tears. Happy tears. Her hands snaked up into my hair as she pulled me closer. I felt all of her body pressed against me and I couldn't wait until there was a little person moving within her, between us. My hand went to her stomach and I gently glided my fingers over her while she sighed softly into my mouth before pulling away. "I never had morning sickness with Seth, so it didn't even register on my radar that it was a possibility. I wonder how late I am," she mused. "Six days," I replied. Her eyebrow quirked up at me and then she chuckled. "Should I be creeped out that you know more about my cycle than I do?" "Hello…Doctor," I said with a smile, pointing at myself. Bella giggled and nodded before her eyes widened and a slight panic took over her face. "When do we

tell the kids? Should we tell them now, or wait? We never talked about that part." She bit her lip and looked at me for my opinion. "Umm…" I hadn't thought about that. Elizabeth had been constantly asking for a sister since the engagement and I was pretty sure the boys would be as excited as well. "Do you want to tell them now? I'm sure they will be thrilled." Bella bit her lip and contemplated my question for a few moments before smiling widely and nodding her head. "I think now is as good a time as any." I pulled her back towards the bed and propped up several pillows for her before handing her the crackers and soda, then walked down the hall, calling all the kids into our room. Anthony and Seth came bounding in and jumped on the bed, completely forgetting that I had warned them that Bella wasn't feeling well earlier. Liz had a bit more restraint and instead, climbed up next to Bella, wrapping her arm around her waist and cuddling into her side. "Are you feeling better, mom?" Liz asked. Bella's hand gently stroked Liz's hair, a content smile on her lips. "I'm feeling perfect." "We have something we want to talk to you kids about," I said quickly. I nervously massaged the back of my hand as four pairs of eyes turned to me. "Are we in trouble?" Anthony asked with wide eyes. "It was my fault…I'm the one that let Buddy out when he ruined all of Mr. Shane's flowers. I know he likes to dig, but I didn't think he'd have such a good time. It wasn't Seth, he didn't even know…" I held up my hand to stop him, because I honestly didn't want to know what happened. Sometimes parental ignorance was bliss and if Mr. Shane wasn't complaining, then I just didn't want to know. Besides, we had something more important to talk about. "Nobody's in trouble," I clarified. Anthony and Seth let out a long sigh while Elizabeth looked at them both with annoyance and shook her head. "Actually, your mom and I want to talk to you about…well…" I looked at Bella for some help and she laughed softly before taking over. "What do you guys think about having a little brother or sister?" All three sets of the kid's eyes snapped back to her. "When?" Liz asked, her excitement barely being contained under her huge smile. "Probably about nine months from now," Bella answered. "You're going to have a baby?" Liz asked in awe. Bella nodded slowly as her hand unconsciously went to her stomach. Liz let out a squeal before launching herself onto Bella. Both boys looked slightly confused, but still smiled widely. "I want a sister," Liz exclaimed, as she sat up and looked at Bella and then back at me.

"Well, we can't guarantee it will be a girl," I said, trying to lessen any disappointment that may arise if the baby turned out to be a boy. Liz's bottom lip pouted out and she quickly crossed her arms and shook her head. "Nope, it's going to be a girl." "We'll just have to wait and see," I relented. "Where do babies come from?" Seth asked innocently as he looked up at me. I almost choked on my own spit when I realized what he had asked. "Yeah," Tony agreed. "And why does it take nine months? Can't we go get it now?" I groaned internally while Bella sat on the bed, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter. Seth and Tony both turned their innocent eyes up to me, waiting expectantly for an answer. "Well, see…" I began, before snapping my mouth shut and I heard Bella giggle again at my discomfort. I glared at her, which only caused her to giggle harder, I rolled my eyes and stared back at my children expecting an answer. I could do this…I'm a doctor, right? "When a man loves a woman like I do your mom then they…" I ran through all of the possible ways I could take this conversation, but decided that I should keep it short and simple. Whether that was because I wanted this over with or it was what I thought they could handle, remained to be seen. "They are together in an intimate way." I watched both boys to see if they understood where I was going. They both cocked their heads and looked at me like they didn't get it. I glanced up at Liz and she also looked slightly confused, but then shook her head as if making her own assessment of my words. "A man and woman are different, and they kind of fit together like a puzzle piece. The woman has an egg and the man leaves his seed in the woman and then a baby starts to grow in her tummy," I said quickly. Both boys wrinkled their nose in confusion and I glanced up to see Bella burying her head in her hands, holding back her laughter. "But how does the seed get in the mommy's tummy? Does she swallow it?" I heard a snort from Bella, but the boys were too confused to pay any attention to her restrained giggles. "Um…no. She doesn't swallow it," I corrected. Liz let out a long sigh before taking charge of the situation. "Seth? Tony?" Liz began. Both boys turned to look at her and she had a slightly disgusted look on her face. "Boys have a penis." Both boys nodded in understanding. "Girls have a vagina." Their faces scrunched up in disgust, but they still both nodded. "The boy puts his penis in the girl's vagina, and that's how a baby happens." My hand went straight to my hair and I held back a groan as the room went dead silent. I raked my hand over my face and waited for the aftermath. Even Bella had stopped with her giggles to watch the reaction of our children.

"How…?" I asked Liz, unable to ask where she had gotten her information. She shrugged her shoulders. "Aunt Ali," she answered my question knowing what I was going to ask even if I couldn't seem to articulate it. Tony and Seth looked at each other in shocked silence before both of them wrinkled their noses and looked at me. "Ewwwww. That's yucky," Seth said. Anthony nodded his head vigorously in agreement. I shrugged my shoulders. "That's the way life happens," I said. This definitely wasn't the way I wanted to have this conversation but now that it was finished I felt better knowing that it was over. "So, your mom is going to have a baby girl or boy, by Christmas this year," I concluded. I was grateful that neither boy seemed to put two and two together and realize that the baby Bella was carrying was conceived in the way that they were grossing out from a few minutes ago. Instead, they were extremely happy and started making plans for how they were going to make him into a baseball superstar. Present Time I looked down at the bundle of joy that bound our families together. Her eyes were closed and the bottle I was holding was lying between her lips, however she only sucked on it out of reflex every few minutes. I pulled the empty bottle out of her mouth and brought her over my shoulder, gently rubbing her back until she emitted a healthy burp from her tiny body. She let out a little coo, then fell back asleep. I stood up as carefully as I could and moved towards the stairs, trying not to jostle her awake. I looked at the small bassinet as I walked into our room but opted to bring Mae to bed with us. I just couldn't stand to have her away from me for very long. Climbing back into bed, I laid our sleeping babe on my chest while Bella rolled over and slid her head onto my shoulder. "What time is it?" she asked quietly. I could see her yawn from the glow of the nightlight coming from the bathroom. "It's about three in the morning. You should go back to sleep." I kissed the top of her head and she turned to rest her chin on my chest so that she was looking into my face. "I love you, Edward Cullen." "Mmmm, and I you, Isabella Cullen," I whispered. Bella let out a long sigh before snuggling back into my chest. Her hands gently rubbed over Mae's back until they reached mine, then gently pulled them away. "My turn," she said in a sleepy voice. I chuckled lightly as she slowly flipped onto her back and then pulled Mae to her until she was resting on her chest. Her hand lazily rubbed soothing circles on her back

as I watched the beautiful scene play out. A weird sense of déjà vu hit me and I shook it off. I had definitely seen this picture before, but at this moment, the only thing that struck me for sure, was that I was the happiest man on earth.

~*~ For those of you that have forgotten about the deja vu moment it was in chapter 38 before they goot back together while they were on the boat after The Feast of Lanterns.

~*~ As we neared the harbor, I flipped off the auto pilot and slowly made our way to the slip. After tying the boat up, I went back over to Bella to find that she had fallen asleep. The sight of her holding my son sent a twinge of longing through my chest. Having a brief thought of her lying in my bed with a little baby girl lying on her chest, I shook off the thought, and then reached down to push her hair away from her face. Her mouth was slightly open as she breathed evenly. Her lips looked so soft, and a sudden urge to feel them against mine overtook me. I took my hand and gently cupped her face, slowly running my thumb over her bottom lip.

~*~

Outtake 2 - Honey Sticks Bella Swan-Black Edward shifted me off of his lap and turned off the jets to the tub before turning back to me with a crooked smile. "I have something I want to try," he held out his hand for me and I took it. Climbing, not so gracefully, out of the hot tub, he wrapped me in the fluffy towel that he had brought from the house. I grasped it around my shoulders and felt a shiver run down my back as I watched this gloriously, naked man dry off. Each sweep of the towel made my heart hammer harder in my chest. He secured it around his waist and I let out a long wistful sigh. Edward looked up at me and chuckled as my teeth started to chatter from the cool evening air. "You need to dry off or you're going to turn into a popsicle," he chastised. Edward reached for my towel and his eyes met mine before he unwound it from my upper half and tenderly rubbed it against my skin. I felt my face flush and all thoughts of being cold were immediately erased as his hands traveled slowly down my arms and then across my chest. While he dried me off, he never broke the intense stare that bore into my soul. Edward leaned over and softly kissed my lips before slowly dropping down in front of me. His hands, which were wrapped in the towel, made their way down the front of my leg. When he reached my foot, he lifted it up and placed it so that it was resting on his knee and then ran the towel back up the underside of my leg. He stopped right when he reached the apex of my legs and then placed my foot back on the ground and administered the same attention to the other leg.

When I thought that he was done, he stood before me again and quickly flipped me around so that my back was facing him and made the same, soft caresses down my back and buttocks. I gasped at the waves of desire that coursed through me when I felt his lips press a kiss on the small of my back. Edward reached over my shoulder and grabbed the silk robe that I had worn downstairs and plucked it off of the hook. He held the robe out for me and I slipped my arms through the holes. Edward squeezed my hips lightly before turning me around. I felt a cool breeze dance across my exposed skin and my nipples hardened from the cold, catching his gaze. I thought that he was going to touch me but instead, he shook off whatever urge was there and wrapped me up, securing the ties. Leading me back to his room, he flipped on the light and dimmed it so that there was enough light to see but it gave a soft, romantic glow to the room. His hands were on me quickly and I barely had time to gasp before his mouth was crushed to mine. I let him take complete control of my body as he worked the tie to my robe and pulled it completely out of the loops. My hands went straight for his messy damp locks as I ran the silkiness through my fingers. With a grunt, he pulled himself away from me but held on to my upper arms loosely. My eyes fluttered open to see his passion-filled gaze staring back at me. His lips slowly lifted up into a small smirk while I tried to pull him back to me. "Close your eyes," his breathy whisper forced me to comply. I closed my eyes and felt him walk behind me, his hand trailing across my stomach and moving the robe to the side as he went. A small shiver ran through my body when he swept my hair away from my neck and kissed it softly. I felt a soft piece of fabric brush over my eyes, causing me to jerk back slightly from the surprise. "Shhhh, my sweet Bella. I just don't want you to peek," his breath blew over my shoulder as he whispered in my ear and I felt the goose pimples run down my arms. I nodded my permission and he proceeded to fasten the tie from my robe around my eyes. When he had it secured he led me towards his bed. I stood for a moment waiting for his next instruction or movement, when I heard the shuffle of his comforter and a soft breeze from it hitting the floor. Edward's hands went past my open robe to my hips and then he pulled me up against his chest. He kissed a trail down my neck until he reached my collarbone. His hands came up, brushing across my already hardened nipples to my shoulders. He pushed the robe down causing it to puddle at my feet. I started to wrap my arms around his neck, when he grabbed my hands. In one swift motion he picked me up, earning a squeal of surprise from me. He chuckled softly and then I felt his lips on mine as he lowered me to the bed. I eagerly returned his kiss, opening my mouth to grant his probing tongue access. His warm tongue swept into my mouth and I moaned with the sensations that were coursing through me. It felt as if by losing one sense my others were heightened. His smell, his taste, and even his touch were doing things to my body that should be illegal. He laced his fingers with mine and pulled them above my head, resting them on the pillow, while he

continued to kiss me. I was dizzy with the feel of his lips on mine and made a small whining sound when he pulled away from me. "Edw-" "Shhhh, love," he whispered as he stood up. I started to sit up on my elbows but felt his firm hand on my shoulder and a one word command that told me not to argue with him. "Stay." I complied with his request, feeling a little bit giddy at the prospect of a more dominant Edward in the bedroom. I heard the bedroom door open and my curiosity was totally piqued by his departure. What the hell is he doing leaving me like this? I laid there for several minutes reliving every kiss and exquisite feeling that he had brought to my body this evening. When I was finished with my little fantasy, I started to realize that I was lying blindfolded and completely bare on his bed. The self conscious side of me started to think of every flaw that was currently exposed. I felt silly laying there, not really sure if I should be doing something, anything to ease the awkwardness. Just as I was reaching for the blindfold, I heard the door open. I knew it was Edward but a small part of me panicked that it could be one of the kids. I grabbed the blindfold when Edward's voice penetrated the air. "Don't remove it," he all but growled at me. I released it quickly and pulled at my bottom lip with my teeth. I heard him set something on the dresser and then the bed sank next to me as he sat down. "What are-," I began but he cut me off with a quiet "shhhh." I bit my lip again, contemplating whether or not I liked having one of my senses taken from me when I felt something wet drizzle across my left breast. It was warm and thick because it didn't drip down, but stayed in one spot. I felt another drip and I brought my hand up to feel what it was. I had an idea but I just wanted to confirm. When my fingers were within an inch, Edward grabbed my wrist and brought it above my head again, pinning it to the pillow with his hand. It was obvious by his silent command that he wanted me to feel but not touch. I nodded, letting him know that I understood so he released me, dragging his hand down the inside of my arm, brushing the side of my breast as he slowly descended to my waist. I felt another drizzle across my other nipple and then it trailed down in between my breasts until it stopped at my navel. I could feel the pool of liquid as it dripped into my belly button, confirming in my mind that Edward had brought out the honey sticks. I felt the bed shift as Edward hovered over the top of me. His tongue was cool when it met my overheated flesh. It danced around the outside of my navel before dipping in to collect the honey from inside. Every nerve was heightened as he flattened his tongue on my skin and followed the trail up between my breasts. He circled my nipple before pulling the taut peak into his mouth and suckling softly. That electric charge that Edward always ignited in my body shot straight to my center as he switched breasts and continued his ministrations. My hands went to his hair and I wondered briefly if he was going to pull them away, but he never did. I gripped his hair, tugging him up to my awaiting mouth. I

could feel his sticky kisses travel up my neck and across my cheek until his mouth met mine. His kiss was deep and full of passion as his tongue swept into my mouth. I tasted honey, cinnamon and a hint of Edward as his mouth became more insistent against mine. I groaned as his hand slid across my stomach, wanting him to touch me again, but instead he pulled away from me and I heard him chuckle softly. "You are not controlling this situation, my dear," he whispered. I groaned when I realized that he wasn't finished teasing me. All I wanted was him, buried deep in me again. A small shiver ran down my back at the imagery I had conjured up. His hands traveled back down my stomach and then over my legs where he pulled them apart and, not wasting any time, ran a finger down my slit. My hips bucked up to meet his hand but he pulled his hand away. I let out an exasperated breath at his teasing, only causing him to chuckle again. "Please, Edward. I can't take much more of this," I begged. "Shhhh, or it's going to be longer." A rumble deep within my chest that I didn't know was there bubbled up until I growled at him. I felt the drizzle of the honey as it hit my over sensitive clit and slowly slid downward. The sensation was pure torture, causing a slight tickling as it descended further. My hands fisted in the sheets to keep me from grabbing him or throwing all sense of propriety out the window and end the teasing myself. Just when I didn't think I could handle anymore, his mouth was on me. He started off with small licks that sent more electric sparks through my body, and then he flattened his tongue and slowly licked from top to bottom. When he reached the top, his mouth wrapped around the bundle of nerves that he had set on fire and sucked it into his mouth. I could feel his teeth nipping as he let my clit slip out between his teeth. My breathing had become erratic and my hands, which had been fisted in the sheets, were now wrapped in his hair as I tugged him closer to me. His grunts of approval each time I pulled him closer were almost drowned out from the moans that were coming from me. Edward's mouth continued its assault as I felt my release pressing forward. My hips were moving to the time of his tongue and then, just as I was about to go over the edge, he plunged two fingers inside of me causing me to scream out in a low moan as I reached my release. He continued moving his fingers in and out of me as I rode out the pleasure that he had given me. When my hips had stilled and the pulsing had ceased, he gently pulled out of me and kissed his way back up my body. I lay panting for a few minutes while he lay beside me, kissing my neck and running his hands over my skin. His stiff arousal twitched against my hip and I was brought out of my sex induced fog. I reached for the blindfold and pulled it off as at the same time I wrapped my hand around his member. He groaned and bucked into my hand as I gently massaged him. I considered using the blindfold on him but dismissed that idea immediately. I liked it when he watched me.

I sat up and pushed on his chest until he was flat on his back, my hand never missing a stroke. His hips came off of the bed slightly as he thrust against my hand. I looked up into his face and his eyes were closed tight, as if he was concentrating on something and if it wasn't for his hip motion and the increase in his breathing I wouldn't have known that he was enjoying this by the expression on his face. "Honey sticks?" I asked and his eyes popped open to look at me. He stared at me for a moment as if he hadn't heard me and then shook his head before pointing to the dresser. I released him and smiled at his groan of protest while I went to the dresser to pick out a few. The honey sticks weren't labeled so I was going in blind when it came to which flavor I would get, but at this point I really didn't care. I turned back around and Edward was laying in a glorious mess of sheets, but what took me by surprise was that his hand had moved to where mine had previously been and he was slowly stroking himself. I stood there and stared open mouthed as I watched. I thought I had seen everything but at that moment I realized that there was nothing more appealing than this glorious man touching himself. I glanced back up at his face and his eyes were locked on mine while he continued to slide his hand up and down. I didn't want to break eye contact because what I saw in them was pure unadulterated lust. I felt the wetness stick to the inside of my thigh as my body prepared itself for another encounter with the amazing man waiting for me. "You decided to start without me?" I asked while cocking my head to the side and glancing down at his hand. "I'd much rather it was your hand," he moaned out. I walked quickly back to the bed and crawled up his legs while his hand continued to work himself over. I could just sit here and watch him pleasure himself all night, but I knew that what I had planned would be much better than what he was doing. I bit the tip off of the first honey stick and tasted pina colada. He was watching me as I reached for his hand. I didn't pull it away immediately but instead wrapped mine around his as he continued to glide it up and down his shaft. After a minute he unwrapped his hand and put my hand in its place. Guiding my hand, he set a strong pace. Edward's eyes rolled back in his head as it hit the pillow. "Your hands are so soft," he whispered as his hips bucked up into my hand. I smiled to myself, knowing that he was going to get a taste of his own medicine. My hand slowed and his eyes shot open and stared back at me. I smiled innocently at him, but he groaned and closed his eyes again when he realized I was stopping. I took the honey stick and gave it a little squeeze. The honey came out slowly but I found that I had quite a bit of control over where it went. I drizzled it up his stomach and then over his nipples. For a split second I wondered what the honey would do if he had hair on his chest and then I let out a soft giggle. His eyes met mine and a small smile played at the corners of his mouth. "I love your laugh," he whispered. He looked at me like I was the most precious person he had ever seen and my heart melted just a little more. Even with his extremely sensual persona, covered in honey and making me feel like a sex kitten, he was still my Edward, the sweet, wonderful man that I had fallen in

love with. I felt the words on the tip of my tongue but I bit them back, not wanting to turn our honey filled evening romp into an awkward discussion about our feelings. I bent down and licked a trail up his chest from his stomach until I circled his nipple and sucked all of the sweetness off him. Edward moaned as I straddled his waist and bit off another tip of the honey stick. I trailed a path of honey up his neck and over his strong jaw bone to his lips. Slowly, as to drive him as crazy as he did me, I made my way up his neck. When I reached his jaw he took both hands and placed them on my face before pulling me up and devouring my mouth in a hungry kiss. I felt my hair land in the sticky mess across his face but couldn't find it in me to care at the moment. His tongue swept across my lips and I shook my head, forcing myself to sit back up. "I don't think so. I have plans and you are not going to thwart them," Edward groaned as I kissed my way back down his chest until I was hovering over his very impressive erection. He twitched in anticipation. I leaned down and placed a kiss on the tip and it was his turn to writhe under my touch. I pulled back and popped open another stick. It had a berry flavor so I guessed that it was raspberry. I squeezed the stick until a puddle of it landed on the tip of his arousal and slid down one side. I continued to squeeze and another drop landed on the tip and dripped down the other side. I was so mesmerized by the amber liquid dripping down his flesh that I didn't realize that he had propped himself up and was watching intently as I traced the honey with my fingers. When my skin made contact he groaned loudly. I smiled and continued to smear it all over his thickness before leaning in and taking a lick from base to tip. I thought Edward was going to bounce off of the bed when his hips bucked up, smearing the sticky substance across my cheek. I quickly looked up at him and his eyes were wide, before we both started laughing at the mess we were making. His hand reached out and tried to wipe the honey from my cheek but in the process only managed to smear it further across my face. He smiled and then brought his finger up to his lips and sucked it off. "Mmmmm, raspberry," he whispered causing me to shudder at the thought of where that honey had been moments ago. I wanted him again. There was no denying that he had complete control over my body. I would have straddled him and sunk down on his length if he wasn't covered in honey. My goal had changed from driving him to the edge like he did me to just getting the honey out of the way so we could enjoy each others bodies. I didn't waver in my resolve when I engulfed him completely in my mouth. His groan of pleasure told me that he liked it when I opened my throat and swallowed him whole. I brought my mouth back up and swallowed as much of the honey as I could before delving back in. I sucked and licked at him until he was moaning and so close to his release that his small thrusts into my mouth were becoming erratic. I was sticky and completely turned on from our foreplay when he grabbed my arms and pulled me quickly and roughly up his body. My mouth made a small popping noise as he pulled out of me and brought me up to his face. His eyes were glazed over with lust as he grabbed a hold of the back of my hair and kissed me hard. The fierceness and demanding nature of the kiss flooded me with heat and when he grasped my hips and brought me down on his erection, I was ready.

There was nothing sweet about the way he took me; it was primitive and raw with need. He pushed my torso up so that I was sitting up straight while I straddled him, fully impaled by his thickness. I could feel him hitting spots that I didn't know existed as he guided my hips roughly over him. I threw my head back as he pounded the same spot, over and over again. My hand rested on his thighs as our thrusts met repeatedly. His grip on my hips tightened and I could see the strain in his face as he held off his own pleasure for mine. The stickiness was pulling at hairs between us but the little bit of pain it caused only enhanced the feel of him driving further into me. White hot stars exploded behind my eyelids and I bit my lip, trying to hold back the scream that was coming with the most powerful orgasm I had ever felt. A flood of warmth rushed from me and I heard Edward call out my name before he pressed me down and held me tightly to him as he released inside of me. I continued to wiggle against him as the last of my orgasm faded away before collapsing on top of his chest. Edward wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead as we both lay panting and gasping for breath. After several minutes, he swept my hair to the side and kissed my sticky cheek. I looked up at him and the huge smile on his face was contagious. "What?" I asked as his whole body started to shake in laughter. He reached up to my face and pulled a strand of hair that was stuck to my cheek and started laughing harder. "You, my dear, are a mess." I looked down at his shining smile and cracked one of my own when another chunk of my hair was stuck to his cheek too. I pulled it away and smiled. "I like my very dirty boy. Don't you like a dirty girl?" I asked with innocent eyes. He groaned loudly and kissed me hard. My lips were going to be swollen in the morning but I didn't care. I felt a sting on my butt as he smacked me lightly on the fleshy skin. "Shower. Now," he commanded. I felt that stirring of desire again but tried to keep it at bay. I slowly pulled away from him, feeling our chests sticking together as I sat up. I winced as hairs were pulled and he rolled me over onto the bed and pulled out of me. I caught a slight grimace from him as well but I don't think he would have admitted it if I had called him on it. We climbed into the shower together and he tenderly washed every inch of my body with a pretty smelling soap that I was sure he had gotten just for me. He washed my hair of all the stickiness and placed kisses on my face after her rinsed away the soap and honey. His hands were gentle on me as we explored and kissed whatever we could reach. When Edward was finished, I gladly returned the favor and made sure that every inch of him had been touched by my hand. Every kiss was not to induce lust but a caring way that we tended to one another. I loved him so hard that it hurt and soon, I hoped to tell him. Soon.

~*~

Outtake 3 - Surfer Boy Liz, Seth, and Anthony were spending the day with my parents and I had convinced Bella to come out to the beach with me. She showed up at my house with her little bikini and sarong tied securely around her waist and it took everything I had to not turn into a Neanderthal, sling her over my shoulder and carry her to my room. Instead, I led her into the living room and she let out a little squeal when I pulled her into my lap on the sofa. "I thought we were going to the beach?" she said with a raised eyebrow. I buried my face in her neck and nipped at the tender flesh below her ear. "We are, but we have the house completely to ourselves and I thought…" I trailed of letting her draw her own conclusion. I sucked her ear lobe into my mouth and bit down gently. I could feel the gooseflesh pimple on her arms and I smiled to myself. Her fingers wound into my hair and she tugged my mouth to hers. I loved it when the vixen in Bella emerged. She turned until she was straddling my lap. Her bikini clad bottom was firmly pressed against my straining board shorts and when she ground into me, we both let out a long moan. Gripping her ass, I pulled her more fully against me. She gasped under my lips and her hot breath sent another shot of desire through me. "Mmmmmm, Edward," she moaned. I loved it when she said my name like that. I stood up quickly, pulling her legs more securely around my waist. She hooked her ankles together while my hands slid up her thighs until I was gripping her firm ass. Our lips slammed together as I went for the stairs. "Edward," she whispered, pulling away and looking down at me. I grunted in response as my lips tried to seek hers again. She pulled further away and I growled at her teasing me. "I really want to watch you surf," she said firmly. I knew from the tone in her voice that she was determined to get her way and any hanky panky that I was imagining, was going to take some convincing. I carried her up to my room, hoping that the sight of my bed would give her second thoughts of halting where I was hoping this was headed. Kicking open the door, I walked over to the bed and laid her down gently. Hovering over her, with both elbows on either side of her shoulders, I pressed my leg between hers. I hoped that I had enough of an advantage to change her mind as I leaned down and pulled her bottom lip between mine. Her fingers went to my back and she pulled my shirt over my head. Fuck yes. She's giving in. I slid my hands down her tiny waist and my fingers wrapped around the small piece of fabric that was covering her hips. I started to work at the knot when her hand covered mine and she pushed it away gently. "Are you going to surf in shorts?" What? All plans of surfing had flown out the window when she sauntered into my house in that outfit. I shook my head and continued to kiss a trail down her neck until I reached her collar bone. "Then don't you think you should get your wetsuit on?" I stopped my kisses and looked up at her, pleadingly.

"You want to watch me surf? Now?" I asked, hoping that her answer was going to be no. How could she have so much restraint? I noticed that her breathing had picked up since we were downstairs and her skin was slightly flushed. She was having a hard time resisting. The knowledge made me feel a little more powerful so I went back to trailing kisses between her breasts. She sucked in a breath and I smiled to myself. Almost there. I let my tongue snake out and added it to the open mouth kisses as I swept them across her stomach so that my nose grazed the underside of her breast. Her hands were quickly on my shoulders as her fingernails dug in and she gave a small push. I groaned as I rolled over onto my back. "Bella," I whined, sounding like a five year old that didn't get a treat while in the grocery store. I rolled onto my side and looked down at her. Her large brown eyes stared back up at me and I felt the desire rolling off of her. Then why the hell was she denying this? "Did I do something wrong? I don't see what the problem is?" I asked. My hand went to her cheek and I felt the heat under my hand as she shyly looked away and shook her head. "No, you didn't do anything wrong," she whispered. I was perplexed. She wanted this as much as I did but she was pushing me away. I gripped her chin in between my fingers and brought her face back until she was looking at me. "Then what's the matter?" I asked. If I thought she couldn't get any more red, I was wrong. She closed her eyes and slowly took a deep breath before her eyes opened back up. She looked determined, yet still completely embarrassed. "I haven't stopped thinking about how hot you are when you're surfing," she said. That wasn't at all what I was expecting. Was my little Bella having dirty thoughts about me and my surfboard? A lopsided smile started to form on my face as I thought about that possibility. "You've been having naughty fantasies about me surfing?" I asked, trying to clarify. She looked down and bit her lip before meeting my gaze again and nodding her head. I groaned and flopped over onto my back. "Well then, let's not make you wait any longer." Even though it was incredibly hard to leave her, half naked and in my bed, I found the strength to get up and make my way to the bathroom. I pulled my wetsuit off the hook and undid the button to my shorts. The fabric slid off my hips and pooled at my feet. Quickly slipping my legs into the suit, I pulled it up to my waist, then walked back into my room to find Bella perched on the edge of my bed. Her eyes raked over my chest and I thought I heard a small gasp float towards me. I had never been more thankful than I was in that moment that I spent several hours a week in the gym. I wasn't getting any younger and it took more effort than it did when I was in my twenties to keep the hard lines in place. I held out my hand and Bella quickly scurried over to me. She placed her hand on my chest and her fingers trailed over the muscles of my stomach until they rested on the bunched up wetsuit. "I've always been curious as to what you wear under this," she whispered seductively.

Her fingers started to dip under the suit and I grasped her hand. She wasn't the only one that could be a tease. "I guess you'll have to wait and see," I whispered before bringing her hand up and kissing her palm. She let out a small shudder before I led her back downstairs. Between all of the kisses and teasing that had gone on before we made it to the beach, I was ready to cool off in the ocean. Bella set up a large blanket and pulled off her sarong before situating herself on the beach. I stared down at her while I attempted to squeeze myself into the upper half of my wetsuit. My eyes traveled from her perfectly manicured toes and up her tone legs until they reached the blue fabric that barely covered her sex. I felt my suit tighten in the crotch as my eyes continued their ascent across her flat stomach to her full breasts. She was beautifully made, and all mine. I saw her smirk and my eyes finally found hers. Her eyebrow raised in question. "See something you like?" she asked. I grinned and stalked closer to her. "Mmhmm, I do, and she's all mine," I whispered as I fell to my knees by her side and ran my hands up her legs. Small goose bumps formed on her legs and my grin widened before I leaned down and kissed her with the possessiveness that I felt. When I pulled away, she was breathless and left wanting more. I stood up and grabbed my board before she could protest. I glanced over my shoulder just as my feet hit the surf. She had sat up on her elbows to watch me and it felt good to have her eyes on me. I usually spent my time on the outside of the breaks, away from the surfers competing for the best waves. Surfing was more relaxing to me than thrill seeking, so I usually let the hot shots go first, but not today. Bella picked a spot on the beach that was right in front of where the majority of surfers rode. I wanted to make sure she got a view at her fantasy coming to fruition. Paddling out, I grasped the board and dipped it under a wave as it started to crash down. Under the water, all sound was replaced by the peaceful silence, until I popped back up and shook the hair out of my eyes. I passed the break and turned my board, waiting for the next wave. I grabbed my board when I saw a decent wave coming at me and started paddling with all the strength I had until it picked up my board and sent it sailing forward. I grasped the edges and stood up quickly. My feet gripped the surfboard and I cut it sharp until I was riding at the top of the wave and then dipped back downward to catch some speed. These waves weren't anything like the ones I had ridden on our last trip to Hawaii, but they still offered the chance to play around. I zig-zagged back and forth against the strong push of the water until it slowly died down and I sank back onto my board. I made my way back out until I was among several other surfers talking with each other. "Hey man, did you see the hottie on the beach?" one of them called out to me. I glanced over at him and then back at the beach. Bella was the only girl he could have been referring to. I felt a small smile pull at my lips before I turned back to him. "Yeah, she's a beauty," I said. And mine. "She's definitely fuckable," he commented. I felt a low growl catch in my throat as I squinted against the

sun to get a better look at the ass that was eyeing my girl. He was young, maybe early twenties, with dark hair and I had to admit, he was a good looking guy. I'm sure he didn't have any trouble getting the girls. "Ah, this one's mine," he yelled before he took off, leaving his buddies in the dust. I watched him as he easily stood up and got tricky with his moves. I wondered briefly if he was showing off a bit. One of his friends chuckled as he attempted to launch himself off the back of the wave and ended falling off his board. "Wipeout dude!" he laughed. The asshat surfer climbed back on his board and started paddling for shore. "Good riddance," I muttered under my breath. I spent the next few minutes watching the break and consistency of the waves as they rolled in, letting the others take the smaller ones. I saw a wave building and knew that it was the one I was going to take. I quickly started paddling and jumped up when the wave caught the board. With a determination I hadn't felt in a long time, I bounced across the water, trying to build up speed. I was going to show that kid how it was really done. I skated across the wave and then cut towards it, and when I reached the top, I swiveled my hips quickly, snapping the surfboard back around until I had done a complete 360. I was slightly stunned that I had done it; it had been years since I was that aggressive. I passed by a surfer sitting on his board and he pumped his fist at me. "Yeah man! That rocked!" he shouted. I felt the huge grin take over my face as I neared the end of the wave. Sinking back down onto my board I glanced up, searching for Bella on the beach. She was sitting up with her hand shielding the sun as she watched me. I felt more pumped than I had in years. That was, until I saw the surfer from earlier sitting in the sand next to Bella. I growled out loud and pushed myself to paddle as quickly as I could to shore. Bella was turned slightly towards the surfer, talking to him, and I watched while he said something that made her throw her head back and laugh out loud. Hell no! She's mine. I strolled over as quickly as I could without making a fool out of myself, and laid my board down next to the blanket. She looked up at me and smiled as the guy next to her scowled at me. "Hey babe," I greeted. I grasped the string in the back of my wetsuit and pulled the zipper down, peeling it off of my shoulders until it hung off my waist. "Who's your friend?" I asked, nodding to the dickhead. "Oh, this is Liam. He was pretty impressed with your trick out there," she said with a big smile. I cocked an eyebrow at him and he glared back at me. Time to show this punk who she belonged too. I leaned down and pulled Bella up until she was in my arms. "Edward, what are you-" I silenced her with a kiss. She sank into my arms, giving up on any kind of protest she may have been thinking of putting up. Her hand went into my hair and she tugged at it, causing me to groan into her mouth. I broke the kiss and looked over at her admirer. He just rolled his eyes and shook his head.

That's right, dickhead. She's with me. Bella recovered slightly from my attack and smacked me on the chest. She turned to face Liam and began to apologize for my rude behavior. He smirked and I watched as his eyes raked down her body. I felt the anger start to build in my chest as Bella bent down to pick up the blanket and his eyes were fixed on her ass. I picked up my surfboard and held it under one arm while I dipped under Bella and lifted her onto my shoulder. She let out a little squeal and kicked out her feet. "Edward Cullen. Put. Me. Down," she demanded with a laugh. It was payback time for Liam's comment about Bella earlier. I turned quickly, clocking the guy that was eye fucking my girlfriend, with my surfboard. He let out a little howl of pain and I couldn't help the smirk that played at my lips. "Sorry about that, dude," I said over my shoulder as I darted up the beach. The blanket was wrapped around Bella's hands when I had picked her up and now she was trying desperately to unravel them. However, they were pinned between us. I chuckled lightly as her grunts turned into profanities. "I'm going to let you have it when you put me down," she huffed. I felt her body relax in defeat as I made it up the beach and to the gate at my patio. I propped the surfboard against the fence and walked into the house. "You can put me down, Mister Caveman. I think that you've proven your point," Bella snarked. I chuckled and smacked her ass as I headed straight for the stairs. She let out another squeal and I smiled. I wanted to hear her do more than squeal. By the time I'm finished with her she will be screaming my name. I threw open my bedroom door and rushed in, tossing her on the bed. She bounced and I watched with lust filled eyes as her breasts jiggled in the small bikini top. I yanked the blanket that she had been tangled in and threw it to the ground, my eyes never leaving her body. She bit her bottom lip and I could see she was holding back a smile, but didn't want to give away her annoyed facade. "That was so rude. I can't believe you did that," she huffed. Bella crossed her arms over her chest and looked away. She was so damn beautiful. Her hair spilled across the crisp, white sheets of my bed and her skin held a slight tinge of pink, whether that was from the sun or from the desire she was holding back, remained to be seen. "I think you've forgotten who you belong to, my dear," I whispered, still standing at the foot of the bed. Her eyes flashed with anger as she sat up and glared at me. "You don't own me," she said through gritted teeth. I felt my dick twitch. A pissed off Bella meant sex was going to be amazing. I couldn't help but taunt her some more. How close could I get her to being livid without ruining my chances of getting laid, I wondered. "I don't?" I asked huskily. She shook her head and continued to glare at me. I sank down on the bed next

to her and ran my fingers, feather light, up her leg until it met her overheated sex. As my hand cupped her she let out a small gasp that turned into a moan. Fuck, she was soaked. I think she likes the possessive side of me a little more then she was ready to let on. I stroked her for a moment through the thin fabric, and her hips bucked gently up into my hand. "No, I think I very much own this," I whispered. I pulled my hand away and stood up. She groaned and then rolled to her side, watching me intently, her legs rubbing together at the loss of friction. I turned around to face her as my hands played at the edge of the wetsuit that hung on my hips. "Do you still want to know what I have on underneath the suit?" I asked. She bit her lip and nodded, her eyes traveling down my chest and then back up to my eyes. I pushed it down until the bronze hair was peeking out over the top and she sucked in a quick breath. "Only good girls get to see what's under the suit, Isabella," I whispered. I held in the laugh when she realized I wasn't going to show her what she wanted and she gave me an annoyed glare. She sat up on her knees and crawled to the edge of the bed, a wicked smile on her lips. Each movement that brought her closer caused her breasts to sway and I had to fight back pouncing her. "Oh? I can be very good," she purred. She was much better at this game of seduction than I was. Her hand shot out and she grabbed the suit, pulling me closer to her. I was powerless to stop her and I didn't really want to. Both her hands slid into the top of the wetsuit and spread out until they were wrapped around my hips, then she started the slow descent, pushing the suit down as she went. When my cock sprang free from its confines, she licked her lips and had me anxious for what I knew she was going to do next. "But then," she looked up at me with an even more mischievous smile then she had moments ago. "Good girls would never do this," she whispered before her lips wrapped around my erection. I groaned at how good it felt to be in her hot little mouth, my head lolled back and my hands went into her hair. She sucked me in until my cock hit the back of her throat and then worked me up and down as I gripped her hair lightly. I knew that if she kept this up, I was seconds from blowing a load down her throat and I wasn't ready for our playtime to end so quickly. I pulled on her hair gently until she released me. Her eyes were hooded when her gaze finally fixed on mine. "So which are you, Isabella? A good girl or a bad girl?" I said as I pushed her back onto the bed. I slowly crawled up her body as she scooted up until her head was resting on the pillows. "Good girls get tender lovin', soft touches and gentle kisses," I whispered. My hands softly grazed her knees, wrapping around the underside and trailing up her thigh. "Bad girls get fucked," I growled, when my hands reached the top of her thigh. I grasped her bikini bottom and ripped it down her legs. She gasped at my sudden motion but I could tell by the wetness between her legs that she was as turned on as I was. "So which is it, Isabella? Good girl or bad girl?" I asked. She smiled seductively up at me with half closed eyes and then planted her foot in the middle of my chest and shoved me right off the bed. I landed in a naked heap on the carpet, completely stunned that she would do something so brazen. Her giggles sounded around me as she peeked over at me from the top of the bed.

"I'd say that being a bad girl is much more fun," she said with a small smirk. I launched myself at her, landing fully on top of her wiggling body. My hands grasped hers and held them over her head as I looked down into her amused smile. "That wasn't very nice," I growled. "Do you know what happens to naughty girls?" she nodded in anticipation but I wasn't ready to give her what she wanted. I pulled back and flipped her over in one quick motion. She squealed and then giggled as she tried to escape, climbing further towards the headboard. I grabbed her around the waist and pinned her legs down with the weight of mine. Her beautiful ass was on display before me. My hand caressed the soft flesh and she immediately stopped struggling to break free. I traced the bottom of her cheek with my hand and then snapped my wrist as a loud crack echoed through the room. I knew the sound was more startling than the actual slap that landed on her creamy white ass, but she still let out a little squeal and then her head turned until she was looking back at me. "I'd do it again, if given the chance," she taunted. Holy Hell. She wanted me to spank her. I groaned and caressed the spot that was now turning a soft shade of pink before pulling back and smacking the other cheek. She let out a breathy moan and then wiggled her ass, begging for more. I didn't know how much more I could take, watching her get off from the pain I was inflicting. Her quiet gasps and moans quickly turned to mumbled profanities each time my hand connected with her rear. The part of me that was taught to never hit a woman was screaming at me to stop, but the horny as hell part of me overrode the logical side and gave her what she wanted. Over and over, I spanked until her ass was a bright pink and she was writhing under me. I dipped my hand down and found that she was wet and ready. I grasped both hips and pulled her quickly to her knees. Her moans had me hard and all I wanted to do was bury my dick in her as quickly as possible. I slid my length along her slit and probed her opening. "You want this, baby?" Bella nodded frantically, pushing herself back against me. I pulled back and inserted just the tip into her; watching her pussy swallowing my head almost did me in. "I don't think you want it that bad," I said, pulling out. She pushed back against me with a small whimper. "What was that?" "Stop teasing and fuck me," she growled over her shoulder. I gripped her hips and plunged into her. She was so wet that there was no resistance as I slid all the way to the hilt. I held her to me, trying to regain some of my composure before I acted like a teenager and prematurely slipped up. I started off slow as I slid out and then back in again. My hand ran up her back until I grasped her mahogany hair in my hand. I pulled her up by her hair, until her back was flush with my chest. I released her hair and my arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her harder against me. "So fucking tight," I whispered against her shoulder. She moaned and grasped my hip, pulling me harder into her. I nipped at her shoulder as I felt her start to constrict around me. "That's it," I encouraged, loving the feel of her around me, yet fighting off the urge to fill her with my spunk. "Let me hear you, Isabella," I growled as she hit her climax. "Oh yes, Edward, yes!" she yelled. Her fingernails dug into my hip as I slowed down my pace and let

her ride out her orgasm. Her head fell back against my shoulder and I kissed her neck. Slowly, I pulled out of her and she grabbed my hip and looked anxiously at me. I shook my head and then fell to my back. I pulled her to me, so that she was straddling my waist. "It's my turn, Love. I want you to ride me," I whispered. She smiled, and then easily lowered herself until she had taken me completely inside herself. I groaned when her hands rested on my chest and she slowly pushed herself up and then slid back down until I could feel myself so deep within her that I was on the verge of losing it. I grasped her hips and closed my eyes as I held her still. Her fingers curled and her nails bit into my flesh while the painful sensation did little for my self control. "Fuck," I hissed. She giggled above me and my eyes opened. Once she knew I was watching her, she pulled her hands away from me and trailed them up her thighs. Damn, this is going to end too soon. She continued her path, over her stomach and breasts until she wound them in her hair and threw back her head with a throaty moan while she thrust her hips forward. Watching her was unlike anything I had ever experienced. She was so sensual, yet you could tell that It wasn't an act; this was all her, enjoying the moment. Too damn sexy. Her hips rocked against me, bringing me closer to my release. While her hands played in her hair, mine traveled from her hips to her breasts, where I took her perfectly pink nipples between my thumb and index fingers and gave them a little tug. Her moan sent a twitch to my cock and I felt myself quickly coming to the end of my rope. My hands slid back down her body until I found her sensitive bud. Stroking it in time with her thrusts, I heard the signs of her orgasm fast approaching. Her breathing picked up and with every thrust, I circled her clit with my thumb. I felt the starting of my own climax and I knew if she was going to have one more heart stopping orgasm, it was going to have to be now. I pinched her clit between my fingers and pulled. It was just enough and she screamed out again, her hands tugging at her hair as she continued to bounce up and down my cock. I groaned in pleasure as I felt the hot liquid shoot into Bella. She slowed her bouncing, but kept her hips rocking into me until she had milked every bit of my climax from me, then she collapsed on my chest. My arms wrapped around her protectively, while her legs slid out from under her until she was lying on my stomach, her legs flush with mine. Her soft lips kissed my chest reverently as I stroked her back and then Bella looked up at me, her chin resting on my chest. "I think I want to learn how to surf," she said, surprising me with her random request. "Oh really? Why's that?" I asked, completely intrigued. "Because it looks like fun and it's something we could do together. That is, unless you don't want to teach me?" she asked, her eyes burrowing into mine. "No, no, it's not that. I just don't take you for the athletic type of girl," I said. She dug her chin into my chest, causing me to yelp and take her cheeks in both of my hands. "I didn't mean it that way. What I meant was that-" "Shut up and kiss me, surfer boy," she whispered. I was happy to comply. If teaching Bella to surf was

going to end anything like this, I was completely up for it.

~*~

Outtake 4 - The Wedding Bella soon-to-be Cullen There was a loud knock at the door, and I jumped slightly. Taking one more glance in the mirror above Edward's dresser, I moved slowly to the door, placing my hand on the knob, before pausing and thinking twice about opening it. "Who is it?" I asked. The anticipation of the day was making my body buzz with excitement, but I also knew that if I opened the door and Edward was on the other side, then Alice would have another conniption fit like earlier. There was a heavy sigh on the other side of the door and I immediately realized that it was a good thing I hadn't flung it open. "It's me, Love," Edward said softly. "You know I can't let you in," I said with a smile. "I want to, but Alice…" I trailed off, knowing that he understood my dilemma. I heard a soft thump and knew his head had made contact with the door in his frustration. "Stupid superstitious tradition," he mumbled. I placed my hand on the door where I figured his head was resting on the other side. I wanted to be closer to him, but I knew that it would only be a short while before we would be joined together forever. I smiled to myself as a tear started to form in my eye. I had never been so sure of anything in my entire life. He let out a long, exaggerated sigh. "I love you." I smiled wider, fighting the urge to unlock the door and let him in. "I love you more than life, and in less than an hour, we'll be together forever." "I know, I just couldn't wait any longer to talk to you. Alice has been the wedding planner from hell. Did you know that she took my cell phone away so I couldn't even call or text you?" There was a hint of annoyance in his voice and I couldn't help but think that he had a point. Alice had been completely over the top in trying to keep everything traditional, and I let her because I knew she was disappointed when I squashed her ideas of turning our wedding into a more formal affair. I laughed lightly. "I know, but it's almost over," I whispered. "What are you doing, Edward? If Alice catches you, she's going to use your balls for bait." I stifled a giggle at Charlie's analogy. I heard a loud slap and pictured my father slapping Edward on the back in greeting. "I'm just on my way back downstairs," Edward sighed in defeat. My father let out a low chuckle as I heard Edward speak to me one more time.

"Bella, I just wanted you to know that I love you and I can't wait for you to be Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen." I felt the tears well up in my eyes once more, barely choking out my love for him before I heard his quick steps down the hallway. My father knocked softly, letting me know that Edward was out of sight. As I let Charlie in, he grasped my face and planted a kiss on my forehead before taking in my appearance. "You look beautiful, Bells," he whispered as he held my hands in his and pulled them wide to get a better look at me. I blushed at his compliment and looked down at the simple white dress that I found while shopping with Alice a few weeks prior. It was strapless and had a sweetheart bust that was form fitting across my chest and waist before it flared out slightly at the hips. The back skirt of the dress came to my ankles but then curved up in the front until it was tea length. I wanted something elegant, yet less formal, and the lace overlay gave it a more formal feel where the length made it easier to move around in and was a perfect dress for a beach wedding. "Thanks, Dad." I smiled up at him and caught his sentimental look and felt the tears prick behind my eyes. Charlie had always been a good father, but expressing his feelings wasn't something that came easily to him. "Bells, are you happy?" I nodded without hesitation, because this was where my heart was. Less than a year after moving to the Monterey Peninsula, I had found the love of my life. Yes, he had baggage, but didn't we all? "I love him. He makes me happy." Charlie searched my eyes for several minutes before he nodded and then squeezed my hand in acknowledgment. "That's all I've ever wanted for you…to be happy." He turned away from me and walked to the window. I followed behind him until we were both staring out over the beautiful scenery of the bay. Quietly, we stood together and I contemplated the twists and turns that had brought me to this moment. "I ran into Jake a few weeks ago," Charlie said hesitantly. I rolled my eyes, but didn't comment. Things had been contentious between Jake and me since I informed him that Edward and I were getting married. "He was talking about trying to get custody of Seth." "I know," I whispered. When I told Jake of my upcoming nuptials, he didn't just hit the roof like I thought he would. Within the week, he sent me papers with a long list of his grievances and tried to draw me back to Washington to hash them out in the courts. I was a mess for several weeks. Everything had me in tears and it wasn't until Edward insisted on taking over the negotiations that I felt a small sense of hope. He promised me that he would take care of things and somehow, he did. "He was going to drag me back into court," I told my father. "I'm not exactly sure what happened, but Edward contacted his lawyer and I'm pretty sure he made a phone call to Jake, too, because a week later everything was dropped." Charlie glanced at me from the corner of his eye. His

eyebrow raised in question. I just shrugged. "I don't know what was said, and Edward didn't seem to want to tell me, so I'm staying out of it," I sighed. Every time I brought it up with Edward, he would just say that Jake was a reasonable man and knew when he didn't have any grounds to start a fight. "Jake's been cordial when he calls to speak with Seth. There was a brief apology for overreacting, but that was it. I've decided that it's better to let it go than push and possibly have Seth in the middle of feuding parents." Charlie nodded his head in agreement. There was a light knock on the door, then all the Cullen women and my mother entered. Liz ran over to Charlie and hugged him around the waist while he awkwardly patted her back. I saw so much in the gesture that I had tears in my eyes again. Liz didn't warm up to new people so quickly, but the moment Charlie stepped off the plane, they had become instantly inseparable. He spent the evening playing go fish with her and the boys, until she curled up in his lap and fell asleep. Charlie made a comment that I used to do the same thing when I was her age and I could see that she had him tightly wrapped around her pinky ever since. The enthusiasm in the air was too much for Charlie to handle, so he gave Liz a quick squeeze and then excused himself. Before he left, he let me know that he'd be waiting for me downstairs when it was time. I kissed his cheek and then turned to the bouncing women vying for my attention. "So Bella, do you have something blue?" Rose asked with a wink. I felt my cheeks flush, which was all the answer she needed. Alice looked between me and Rose before she got impatient and asked what we were talking about. "You remember the gift that I gave Bella at the bridal shower? The one that she had to wait until she was alone to open?" Alice nodded, still looking back and forth between Rose and me. I could feel my blush deepen and I wondered if I could make a quick escape. "Let's just say that it's blue, and she's wearing it right now." The baby blue, designer panties Rose had given me had delicate lace and small Swarovski crystals sewn into them. They were very pretty and feminine, so I had opted to wear them and now I was second guessing my decision. Rose leaned over, and as if reading my mind, whispered in my ear so that nobody else could hear. "Enjoy them while you can, because if Edward's anything like his brother, they're going to be ripped from your body in a matter of seconds." She pulled away and gave me a sly smile, which even though my face was flaming, I returned with a huge grin of my own. "You look lovely, Bella," Esme said with a wide smile, quickly diverting my obvious embarrassment at Rose's teasing. I thanked her before turning to Alice as she thrust a small box into my hands. "This is from me and mom. Something new," Alice said with a small bounce. I took the box and realized immediately that it was a jewelry box. I glanced quickly at Esme and then Alice before opening the lid slowly. Nestled in black velvet was a pair of earrings that closely resembled the necklace Grandma Swan had

given my mother on her wedding day. Before I could think further about that, my mother moved towards me with the same necklace I was thinking of. "Something borrowed," she whispered as she slipped it over my head and fastened it in the back. That's when it hit me. I stood, slightly stunned by the perfect moment that had gripped my heart. I was surrounded by the most important women in my life and was about to give myself completely to the man I loved. The tears couldn't be held at bay any longer as they spilled out of the corner of my eyes. "Thank you," I choked out with a ragged sob. Within moments, we were all wrapped in each other's arms as soft whispers of love were passed around. When everyone pulled away, Liz was staring up at me with tears in her eyes. "Well, I think I'll go check on Jasper and make sure that the buffet is setup and then we'll see you in a few minutes," Alice said, as she carefully wiped the tears off her cheek. She walked swiftly to me and gave me a fierce hug, for such a little person. "I'm so glad that you're going to be my sister," she whispered in my ear. Pulling back, she looked into my eyes with so much love that I felt more tears slide down my face. "I knew from the moment I saw you and Edward together that you were made for him." I nodded my agreement before hugging her one more time. "I love you, Alice. I just can't believe that when I found the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, that I would be blessed with an amazing family as well." Alice kissed my cheek then pulled away quickly, making excuses that she couldn't leave the wedding to run itself. I really thought that the emotions were just getting to be too much for her to handle, so she made her escape. My mother, Esme and Rose all gave me a hug and gushed over what a beautiful bride I was before making their way out the door and down to the beach. I sat down on the bed with a heavy sigh and then Liz came over and sat next to me. "Bella?" she asked timidly. I turned and smiled gently at her before wrapping my arm around her shoulder. "Yes, sweetheart?" "In a few minutes you're going to marry my daddy," she said before turning her wide blue eyes up to me. I nodded with a happy sigh. "Well…then that'll make you our mom." I tried to hide the slight unease that started to creep up. Tony had immediately taken to the idea of me becoming their mom. However, Liz was more reserved. She never did anything that was out of line, but when Tony started calling me mom, which was the same evening as the engagement, I could see that it bothered her. So I was apprehensive about what she may have to say just then. "It makes me your dad's wife and your stepmom, but things don't have to change if you don't want them to," I reassured. I had resigned myself to the possibility of her never letting me in beyond being a friend, even though deep down it hurt that she may never consider me a mother figure in her life.

Liz looked down at her lap and played with her fingers while an awkward silence filled the air. "But what if I want you to be my mom?" she asked. I felt a twinge of hope in her question and then turned so I was facing her. Gently, I pulled back a tendril of her hair that had draped over her shoulder, hiding her face from my view. "Do you want me to be your mom?" Liz's shoulders slumped forward and shook softly as a lone tear trailed down her cheek. I let my hand slide up and down her back as I tried to soothe the conflict that was obviously raging within her small frame. After a moment, she turned her face up to mine and I couldn't help my own tears as I saw the love she was radiating back at me. "I love you, Bella. I love my real mom, too, but I want you to be my mom," she whispered. I pulled her almost into my lap in my desire to show this little girl how much I loved her. She rested her cheek on my chest and silently sobbed while I quietly thanked the heavens for opening this child's heart to me. "Oh, Elizabeth. You're the little girl that I always wanted. I love you the same as I do Seth and Tony." I sniffed back the tears that were starting to form. "I would be honored to be your mom." As I whispered these words, I could almost feel my whole life come into alignment. I wanted to hold her and cherish this moment, but I also wanted to talk to Edward. I needed to see him. I wanted to share every single moment with him about our complicated, but perfect family. I leaned back until Liz looked into my eyes. "I think we've left your daddy waiting long enough. Shall we see what we can do about making our families become one?" Liz smiled widely at me and nodded before climbing up on her knees and giving me a sweet kiss on the cheek. "I love you, mom. Go make daddy happy," she said happily. Again, I felt my emotions bubbling to the surface. I pulled her up and hugged her tightly. "I'll do everything in my power to live up to that title," I said, before letting her go. After a few minutes, I sent her downstairs to tell Charlie that I'd be down in a minute. Glancing into the mirror, I wiped the slightly smudged mascara from under my eyes. Today had been beautiful and it had only started. In a few minutes, I would be Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen. I made my way down the stairs and my father was pacing back and forth in front of the French doors. When he saw me, he quickly came to my side and wrapped my arm around his. "Are you ready, Bells?" "More than ready," I responded. He walked me through the patio, where Jasper was putting the finishing touches on the buffet. When he saw me, his eyes widened and a big smile lit up his handsome features. "I'm supposed to go down to the beach when you're ready. Edward has been anxiously watching the gate for the last twenty minutes," he said with a chuckle. His face grew somber as he came up to me and

kissed my cheek. "You look beautiful, Bella. Edward and his kids are lucky to have you, and if he ever gets out of line, let me know and I'll put him back in." I smiled at his brotherly protectiveness. My father cleared his throat gaining both of our attention. "If he steps out of line I'll be doing more than cleaning the gun in front of him," Charlie grumbled. Jasper's grin widened before he thumped my dad on the shoulder in a manly display and agreed with him, wholeheartedly. I rolled my eyes at the testosterone fueled camaraderie before Jasper told us to wait a few minutes before following him, then winked at me and slipped out the gate towards the beach. "Are you nervous?" Charlie asked. I assessed my feelings in two seconds and quickly shook my head. "No, I'm excited and extremely happy," I answered honestly. "That's all I needed to know." He gripped my hand in his and then pushed on the gate. I took in a large breath, then stepped out into the cool ocean breeze. My eyes traveled quickly over the guests seated on white wooden chairs until I found the messy bronze hair of my love. When our eyes met, he smiled that crooked grin that I loved so much before his eyes raked across my body, making the heat rush to my face. As we walked through the center of the twenty or so chairs that were set up, I sighed internally at the handsome man before me. We had opted for a casual wedding, even though my dress was more formal than what he was wearing. However, I loved seeing him in a loose-fitting white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up, and khaki pants. As my eyes traveled down his legs, I smiled wider at his bare toes sunken into the sand. My eyes were fixed on his toes as we approached. My father stiffened slightly, causing me to glance up quickly. Edward had taken the three steps that separated us and held out his hand to my father. Charlie glanced at his hand before turning to me and kissing my cheek softly. "I love you, Isabella," he whispered. My lip quivered as I leaned in and kissed his cheek. "I love you, dad." Charlie gave me a sad smile and then turned towards Edward with a determined set of his jaw. "The only reason I'm giving my baby to you is because I know that you're a good man. Take care of her," Charlie spoke quietly to Edward. He placed my hand in Edward's and spoke in an even more hushed whisper. "You know, my shotgun isn't just a prop," Charlie teased before giving Edward a half smile and a wink. Surprisingly, Edward chuckled at the threat and gave him a smooth smile in return. "Don't worry, Chief. I plan on giving her all she could ever want." Edward's eyes returned to mine while he tucked my arm around his. His smile softened as he brought his other hand to my jaw, stroking it with a feather light touch. "And more." Our eyes locked for a heartbeat and then everything melted away. I felt him lead me the rest of the way to the minister as he prattled on about true love. I didn't need to hear it from him - I had true love staring into my eyes with a force that made my toes curl.

"Bella and Edward have decided to write their own vows and will take this time to express their love for one another," the minister said, turning the time over to us. I took a deep breath as Edward turned to me with the same intensity that I was feeling. He slid my arm from around his and grasped my hand, while his other hand moved to graze over my cheekbone. "My Love," he began, searching my eyes as he continued to stroke my cheek. "I spend every single day fixing people. Healing the wounds of their bodies, but I never really took a deep look into my own wounds…my own soul, not until you came into my life. You taught me that my heart was bigger than I ever considered. That it was waiting to love you, and then you healed me with the love that you so freely gave me in return. Right here on this beach, where we met, and also where we have seen heartache and then eventually found redemption. In this place, that I declared my love to you…I promise you now, to love you forever. I can't guarantee that there won't be hard times, but I will promise that I will do everything in my power to make you happy." There were unshed tears glistening in his eyes before he looked away and into the crowd of our close friends and family until his eyes landed on Seth. I glanced over and caught Seth's wide smile as he practically bounced in his chair. Edward turned back to me and nodded towards Seth. "I also get a bonus that I never anticipated. I have the privilege of being the stepfather to one of the most awesome kids I know." I glanced over at Seth again; he had stilled and his jaw was hanging open slightly as he processed Edward's words. I held in the giggle and returned my gaze back to Edward's. "I vow to be a faithful and loving husband, and to spend the rest of my days making you happy. I vow to support and love your child as my own, to be whatever he needs, when he needs it." Yep, that did it. I fell more in love with him than I was a few moments ago. "I take you as my wife, to love and protect for as long as we both shall live." My hand came up and covered his as I pressed my face into his hand and kissed his palm. I met his gaze and a single tear slid down his nose before it disappeared between his lips. "Edward," I began. My voice cracked with emotion before I quickly cleared it and smiled. "I always thought I knew what love was. The love that a mother has for a son, or the love that you feel towards your parents or close friends. It wasn't until I met you that I realized that true love really did exist. That it was more powerful than any force of nature, and that when you find it, nothing will hold it back." The tears freely flowed down my face as Edward occasionally brushed them aside while holding my gaze. "I, too, get more than just true love in this deal," I said with a smile. There was a small chuckle from the audience before I continued. "I get to be the mother to your two beautiful children. They have brought so much joy into my life and as I take you as my husband this day, I also gladly take on the responsibility of nurturing and guiding them. I love you with all of my heart and soul. I'm here, right now, to pledge my love to you in front of those people that mean so much to us. Edward Anthony Cullen, I take you as my husband, to love and cherish for as long as we both shall live." There was a long moment of silence, ocean waves crashing over the sand the only noise that penetrated the crisp afternoon air. I vaguely heard the minister pronounce us husband and wife as I watched the man that I loved beyond reason dip his head towards mine. When his lips were inches from mine, I heard his breathy whisper.

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen." Then our lips touched and I sank into his embrace as he pulled me closer. He took my top lip between his, and with a gentle caress, we savored the moment until he released it and then kissed the bottom one just as tenderly. He pulled his face away from mine and my eyes fluttered open to see his crooked grin firmly in place. "Now that, Mrs. Cullen, was an amazing kiss." My smile widened further as he wrapped my arm around his and then turned us towards our family and friends as the minister introduced us as Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen. We spent the next couple of hours mingling with our family during an informal luncheon in our home. Carlisle flirted with my crazy neighbor, Jan. Emmett switched from baseball analogies to football since we were only a month out of football season. Rose kept dropping subtle hints about my undergarments that had Edward pulling me into the bathroom to get a peek before we kicked everyone out of the house. Angela and Ben spent the entire time curled up on a chair together discussing the merits of having a small wedding, while Alice informed them that she would be happy to help plan the whole affair. It was perfect. "So when are you leaving?" Esme asked Edward, as she picked up the boys' overnight bag. Edward's grip tightened on my waist as he pulled himself away from my neck, for two seconds, to answer his mother. "I already have the boat ready and I want to be out of here by early morning." "You know how much it worries me that you're sailing all the way to Mexico?" she asked in an annoyed tone. Edward shrugged lightly, dismissing her concerns. "I sailed it by myself from San Diego when I bought it. Stop worrying." "What if something happens?" Esme's voice was bordering on shrill when Edward released me and took his mother into his arms. "We'll be fine. I've done extensive research and there isn't anything to worry about," he soothed. Esme nodded against his chest before looking over at me. I gave her an apologetic smile, but completely agreed with Edward. I was extremely excited about taking four weeks to sail to Cabo San Lucas. Edward had booked luxurious hotels in every port, for when we were tired of our sea legs and wanted a break from the boat. He had been extremely quiet about everything he had planned. The only hint he gave up was that he hired a crew to bring the boat back to Monterey, so we could spend as much time as we wanted in Mexico, before flying home. All that mattered to me was being with him. We could have enclosed ourselves in the house and done nothing, and I would have been happy. Esme gave me a tight hug, reassuring me that she was excited about taking the kids to Alaska for a visit while we were gone, before she gathered the children together for us to say goodbye. It was heart wrenching to think that we would be away from them for so long, but I also knew that they were in good hands. After a tearful goodbye, the house was finally cleared out. Edward leaned against the front door and his eyes danced with excitement. "So, Mrs. Cullen? What is it you'd like to do now?" His smirk was firmly in place. I looked at him

innocently, then faked the biggest yawn I could muster. "I'm really tired. Maybe we should get some sleep before the long trip tomorrow," I suggested with an impish grin. His face fell for a moment before he realized I was teasing him. "Hmm, is this what I have to look forward to in married life?" he teased back. I slowly made my way towards him, swaying my hips just enough to catch his attention, before wrapping my arms around his neck. "I don't think you'll have any problem getting any, if that's what you're asking," I purred before standing on my toes to kiss his neck. His arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me against him with a small moan. I could feel every inch of him, hard and wanting. He dipped his head until his mouth brushed my ear. "I love you, Bella," he whispered against my ear before taking it between his lips. "I plan on showing you how much tonight and every single night of forever." I shivered slightly and then he tilted my chin until I was looking into his eyes. There was so much love and desire I saw within, that my breath hitched in my throat before his lips descended to mine. His mouth moved softly against mine for several moments before he deepened the kiss. I opened greedily to him, wanting to taste him and savor the love that was coursing through my body from the feelings he was eliciting in me. I was so wrapped up in the feel of his mouth on mine that I let out a squeal of surprise when he swept me into his arms. I clutched at his shoulders while he chuckled and then darted up the stairs. When we reached our room, he kicked the door open and entered. I gasped as he set me down and I looked around the room. He had arranged vases of red roses that were placed on every available surface. "When?" I asked softly, looking back at him. He shrugged casually before turning me around to face him. "Alice wouldn't let me get involved in the wedding planning, so I told her that this was off limits, that I wanted to plan this part. I had the florists come in while we were on the beach. I just wanted you to have something special," he said, before kissing me again. With a gentle hand, he turned me around until my back was pressed against his chest. One hand came up and brushed the hair away from my shoulder, while the other went to the zipper of my dress. My body hummed in anticipation as he slowly lowered the zipper, placing kisses on my shoulder and up my neck. I tilted my head to the side while I felt the fabric pool at my feet. Edward's hands slipped around my waist, ghosting over my stomach until they brushed the underside of my bare breasts. "Mmmm, so soft," he whispered. I felt light headed at the contact. "Breathe, Bella," he chuckled. I hadn't realized I was holding my breath when I let out a gush of air at his request. He stepped away from me, his hands going to my hips. With a little nudge, he turned me around until I was facing him. The desire burning in his eyes made me weak in the knees. I clutched at his forearms as his gaze raked down my chest. He always made me feel like the most beautiful woman he had ever seen when he

looked at me like that. His eyes stopped on the blue panties that Rose had gifted me, and he licked his lips, then groaned loudly. I stifled a giggle at his reaction. Before I knew what he was doing, he dropped to his knees in front of me. His fingers traced over the delicate lace and crystals before hooking into the waistband and sliding them over my hips. "So much better than the quick peek in the bathroom," he said almost to himself. His grin grew when he realized that I had gone completely bare for him. "Is this for me?" he asked, looking up at me through heavily lidded lashes. I nodded in response, pleased that he seemed to like the smooth flesh under his fingers. His reaction was worth the pain I had endured. I was pretty positive that I wouldn't be doing that again. As my panties hit the floor, he leaned in and placed a small kiss just above my pubic bone, causing me to shiver. "Mine," he whispered, kissing me again. "Forever." I let my hands sink into his hair as he left a trail of kisses up my stomach until he was standing in front of me again. My fingers deftly worked the buttons of his shirt until I pushed it off of him. The smell of his cologne hit my senses and immediately I wanted to bury my nose in his neck and never let him go. However, my need to have him overrode the need to bask in his scent. As I reached for his pants, his mouth crashed into mine, hungrily seeking entrance, yet still remaining tender. I quickly pushed my hands under the waistband of his boxers, grasping his firm cheeks and kneading lightly. He groaned before slipping his fingers into the waistband of his boxers and pushing them to the floor. He brought me closer, until his hardness was pressed into my stomach, and I moaned into his mouth. I would never get enough of this man. Edward guided me to our bed, his lips barely leaving mine as he gently laid me down. He hovered over me for a moment before nestling in between my legs, his length skimming across the place that I wanted him to be. He released my mouth and when I opened my eyes, he was looking down on me. His voice was ragged when he spoke. "I love you, so much," he whispered. Before I could return the words of my heart, he kissed me again. It was languid and filled with passion. I was slowly losing myself in his intensity and it reaffirmed that we were one in every sense of the word. I felt him pressing at my opening and I readily accepted him as my warmth engulfed every inch. When he was fully pressed into me, we both let out a long sigh of satisfaction. With a precision that I was convinced could only come from a man that had developed complete self control, he began to move within me. His hips pulled back slowly before he slid back in, making me writhe under him. We fit perfectly together, not only in the physical aspect, but in every other way imaginable as well. He was mine and I was his. The emotions he stirred in me were overwhelming at times, but when we were joined together like this, it put all of the feelings into a better perspective. He was my soul mate. I closed my eyes and gave myself over to the sensation of his constant rhythm. Our breathing picked up while the friction increased. I felt his muscles tense under my hands as I pulled him closer, our chests pressed together. Just the feel of his strength under my fingers sent me rocketing towards my release. His face was buried in my neck while his hips picked up the pace. "Ti amo, la mia dolce moglie. Io ti amo per sempre," he whispered in Italian. The sound of his words in

my ear, slightly breathy and completely dripping with love, drove me over the edge. I grasped his waist and pulled him closer as I arched my back into him and let go, finding my release with a long moan. He pushed deeper into me, shortening his strokes and letting me ride out the intensity of my orgasm before he resumed his vigorous pace. His breathing had become slightly erratic and small grunts emitted each time he buried himself to the hilt. I wrapped my arms tighter around his waist when I felt him rise up slightly. His head came up and his eyes closed for a moment as he lost himself in the sensations he was feeling. His eyes snapped open and then locked with mine, while a small hiss escaped from his lips. With a final thrust, he finally found his own release and then collapsed on top of me, making sure to keep his weight from crushing me. I let my hands glide over his back, feeling every inch of him that I could reach. With a long sigh, he rolled to the side, pulling me with him as he went, so that we were facing one another. He took one hand in his while the other came up to push the hair away from my face. No words were necessary. We both knew the other's heart. It felt like I was holding out my whole life for this kind of love, and through fate, I had finally received my Happily Ever After.

~*~ Translation: "Ti amo, la mia dolce moglie. Io ti amo per sempre," "I love you, my sweet wife. I will love you forever,"

~*~