JOURNEYS A MEMBER SUPPORT NEWSLETTER

Welcome to the new BFO-T Newsletter!

“Mark the Date” for Trees of Light at Toronto City Hall, Thursday December 1, 2011 Visit the website at www.bfotoronto.ca for more information and to order your doves. In this issue: Page 2 Creative Expression Workshop Welcome Karima Page 3 Walk to Remember Page 4 In Memoriam BFT-T Book Club Page 5 Volunteer Opportunities Page 6 Children who Grieve— Bereavement Study Why BFO Matters Page 7 Fall Mutual Support Groups Page 8 BFO-T is unique Office Hours

Starting with this issue we have a new updated look and will be coming to you bi-monthly. We hope you enjoy reading the newsletter and invite you to send us any feedback by replying to this email or sending a message to [email protected] We welcome submissions to the newsletter - deadline dates are listed below. _________________________________________________________________________

A Message from Aruna Ogale, our Executive Director Bereaved Families of Ontario-Toronto is preparing for a busy fall. To ensure that we maximize what our small staff is able to accomplish, we have reorganized our office. Vicki, our Intake Coordinator, left us in May. After a vacation in Italy, Vicki is going back to school. Over the summer months, we have assessed our most urgent needs and how best to maximize our budget. We have come up with the following: As Program Coordinator, Jacqueline was responsible for the volunteer training and matching volunteers to facilitate groups and conduct one-to-one-interviews while Vicki was responsible for communicating with program participants. In order to ensure that there is a better flow of communication between one-to-one volunteers, group facilitators and program participants, Jacqueline will be responsible for both intake and program co-ordination. Karima Yacoub joined us in early September as our new Training Coordinator. Formerly a Volunteer Coordinator with the Distress Centre, Karima completed our volunteer training this past March, and is joining us part-time as she begins the MSW program at U of T. With input from Dr. Stephen Fleming, our former Executive Director Margaret McGovern, Jacqueline and I, Karima has updated our training curriculum. She is excited to begin training new facilitators in October. We are grateful to the Mount Pleasant Cemeteries Group for allowing us the use of their Training Centre for our training. I will be responsible for administration, public relations, fundraising and special events. Many of you are aware that we are able to offer our mutual support groups free-of-charge because so many of you “pay it forward”. We thank you for this. We ask that you consider supporting the BFO-Toronto “Walk to Remember” team as we participate in the Scotiabank Charity Challenge. Last year, the money raised from this event enabled us to provide support to over 500 individuals. For further information, please visit our website: www.bfotoronto.ca. E-mails for BFO-Toronto Staff: Jacqueline Menagh: [email protected] Karima Yacoub: [email protected] Aruna Ogale: [email protected] Sincerely,

Aruna Ogale, Executive Director

Next Issue: November 2011 Submission Deadline: Oct 30, 2011

Sept 2011

JOURNEYS

Creative Expression Workshop for Kids BFO-T (Bereaved Families of Ontario-Toronto) is pleased to offer a one day workshop run by The Young Caregivers Program for children to express themselves through art and drama activities. Who Can Participate? Any bereaved child who would like to have fun while getting to express their feelings in a cool and unique way. How Much Does it Cost?

Free! When and Where? Saturday November 19th 2011 at the BFO-Toronto Office (28 Madison Ave.) What do I need to do to participate? Contact the BFO-Toronto office at 416-440-0290 by Friday, November 4th in order to register your child(ren) for the event. Please sign up early as space is limited.

Welcome Karima! Hello, my name is Karima Yacoub. I am excited to be the new part-time Training Coordinator at BFOToronto. Volunteering has been a part of my lifestyle since I was a child and has shaped the course of my life. For the last 5 years I’ve been working for nonprofit agencies in the areas of crisis intervention, suicide prevention, and emotional support. What keeps me going are the wonderful people I meet who care enough to try and make a difference. I’ve already witnessed the passion and dedication of the BFOToronto community and feel honored to be involved! If anyone else is ready and wanting to volunteer, there is an upcoming training group this fall. For more information or to apply, please e-mail me at [email protected].

We have all experienced the loss of a loved one. Whether it be your child, spouse/partner, mother, father, grandparent, sibling or close friend, the loss is devastating. Being able to reach out to others who are experiencing a similar loss is crucial to the healing process. Bereaved Families of Ontario - Toronto provides a safe and confidential setting where you can talk about how your loss is affecting your life; learn about grief, and how to develop coping strategies. By joining our ‘Walk to Remember’ team and raising pledges for our organization, you will honour your loved one and also help ensure that grief counseling and support groups are available to bereaved children, adults and their families coping with the loss of their loved one. Join Lesley Parrott as she runs in the memory of her daughter Alison, who was killed in Toronto in 1986 - [email protected]. In 2010, Lesley alone raised over $25, 000 contributing to a total of $32, 000 raised by our team of 15 walkers. Our goal for this year is a team of 50 walkers and runners who raise $1000 each. Reaching our goal will allow the BFO-Toronto to provide bereavement support for: 10 children who have lost their mom, dad, or close family member. 20 parents who have lost their infant. 20 parents who have lost their child. 20 young adults who have lost their parent or sibling. 85 widows or widowers. 85 adults who have lost a loved one. Bereaved Families of Ontario-Toronto will cover the registration fee for participants who raise $500 or more on our behalf! As our way of saying “thank you” for your participation, all team members will receive a T-shirt on which they can pay tribute to their loved one by writing their name or a personal message. To find out more information about Bereaved Families of Ontario–Toronto, please visit www.bfotoronto.ca or contact Aruna Ogale at [email protected] or 416-440-0290. Please get involved with BFO-Toronto on October 16, 2011 to remember a loved one and help make a difference to those in need. Here’s how to join our ‘Walk to Remember’ team:

1. Visit our charity page and click on the link to “Support your Charity and Raise Funds.” 2. On the registration page there is a dropdown list for the “Scotiabank Group Charity Challenge.” Select the “Bereaved Families of Ontario – Toronto.”

3. When asked for a “Special Event Coupon, Group ID Code, or Scotiabank Group Charity Challenge PIN Code,” please insert: 11SGCC

4. Once you are logged in to your own fundraising account, at the bottom of your Fundraising page is an option to “Join and existing team.” Click this link.

5. When asked to insert the Team Name, enter “BFO” and then click on the link that comes up for the “BFO-T Walk/ Run to Remember”. 6. You are now ready to start collecting pledges for the BFO-T! Thank you for your participation and generous contribution! For further information, please visit our “Walk/Run to Remember” charity page or contact Christa Kelly at [email protected] or (416) 440-0290.

Sept 2011

JOURNEYS

BFO-Toronto Book Club “Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers.” - Charles W. Eliot

Books do wonders to heal the soul. BFO-Toronto is starting a book club that will discuss books focusing on loss, bereavement and the grief journey. A book will be picked for each month collectively and the group will come together and talk about the book and how it impacted them. These books can be works of fiction, memoirs or educational. The meetings will be held at the BFO-Toronto office and will take place on the first Wednesday evening of every month. The first meeting will be on Wednesday, November 9th at 6:30pm. Aruna will provide light refreshments for this meeting. If this is something that you would be interested in please e-mail Jacqueline Menagh at [email protected]. To ensure that everyone gets a chance to participate in the discussion there will be a maximum of 10 participants for the group. Once we have all interested participants gathered we will send out an e-mail with the first title.

Volunteer Opportunities

Bereaved Families of Ontario-Toronto is looking for administrative volunteers to help us continue to provide support to the bereavement community. Duties will include:  Greet clients and volunteers;  Answer telephone calls;  Provide the appropriate service information to callers;  Process mail;  File paperwork;  Assist in maintaining database of volunteers and clients;  Update contact information for clients, volunteers and donors;  Prepare materials for groups/meetings;  Assist Executive Director in special projects and events;  Complete regular office inventory and purchase items that are low in stock;  Other miscellaneous duties (ie: Photocopying). Time Commitment: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, 10:30am to 2:30pm (flexible) Qualification/Requirements:  Knowledge of office procedures (i.e. Filing, computer programs)  Excellent telephone manner  Good communication, organizational and social skills  Compassionate, non-judgmental, and has the ability to work with diverse groups of people  Mature, responsible, and reliable Consider applying if you:  Would like to gain experience working in the non-profit sector, interacting with clients in sensitive situations  Are committed to the principles of access, equality and inclusion  Have the time, energy and capacity to make this commitment

For more information, or to apply for this volunteer position please contact Jacqueline Menagh, Client and Volunteer Coordinator, at 416-440-0290 or [email protected].

Sept 2011

JOURNEYS

Children who Grieve and Mourn an Infant Sibling: Building Knowledge for Bereavement Education Investigators: Drs. Christine Jonas-Simpson (Producer of Enduring Love), Rose Steele, Leeat Granek, Betty Davies and Joann O’Leary Do you have children between the ages of 3 to 18 who lost their baby brother or sister due to perinatal loss, that is, death of a baby before, during or up to six months after birth? If so we are looking for up to 10 English speaking children from diverse backgrounds who experienced the loss of a baby brother or sister at least six months ago. Five of the children’s families will also be observed in their home settings so the children can describe their experiences in the context of their lives. Parents, grandparents, and teachers of the children from these 5 families will be asked to share their perspectives on what the child experienced when the baby sibling died and/or how they see the child living with the loss of the infant sibling. We are doing this study to increase awareness of the experience of infant sibling loss for children. A documentary will be produced from this research for bereaved parents, children, educators and other professionals in the educational system. It is also hoped public awareness and sensitivity will also be further enhanced through the viewing of this documentary. For this study your child will be asked to talk about his or her experience of living with the loss of their baby sibling as well as describe what has changed, what people do and say that helps and what people do and say that makes things worse among other questions. The interview will be audio and video-taped, conducted in English and last between 15 minutes to one hour based on what your child wishes to share. We look forward to hearing from you to discuss the possibility of your child’s participation in this study. For more information please contact Dr. Christine Jonas-Simpson at York University [email protected] or call 416736-2100 x21019.

Why BFO-Toronto

Matters

Bereaved Families of Ontario-Toronto matters because we know and understand that grief matters. Grief impacts people on many levels – emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually. Grief is a normal and natural process that enables people to part with “what was” and to prepare for what is yet to come. Grief unfolds differently in all people – from the amount of time they require to adjust to their new reality and the influence that family, cultural, faith and life experiences bring to their expressions of loss.

Fall 2011 Adult Grief Mutual Support Sessions    

Facilitated by BFO-Toronto peer volunteers who have experienced similar losses Attend as many drop ins as you wish Please call 2-3 days in advance of each session to book your spot Open discussion format (no set topics)

For any adult, over 30 years of age, who has experienced the death of a spouse or partner: October Tuesday 4th - 6:30pm to 9:00pm Tuesday 18th - 2:00pm to 4:00pm November Tuesday 1st - 6:30pm to 9:00pm Tuesday 15th - 2:00pm to 4:00pm December Tuesday 6th - 6:30pm to 9:00 pm Tuesday 20th - 2:00pm to 4:00pm For any adult, over 30 years of age, who has experienced the death of a parent, sibling or chosen family: October Wednesday 5th - 6:30pm to 9:00pm Wednesday 19th - 2:00pm to 4:00pm November Wednesday 2nd - 6:30pm to 9:00pm Wednesday 16th - 2:00pm to 4:00pm December Wednesday 7th - 6:30pm to 9:00 pm Wednesday 21st - 2:00pm to 4:00pm

Where: BFO-Toronto offices 28 Madison Ave. (One block east of Spadina, ½ block north of Bloor) (5 minute walk from Spadina Subway Station or metered street parking)

RSVP:

416-440-0290 extension 1 or [email protected]

Sept 2011

JOURNEYS

BFO – Toronto is Unique BFO-Toronto is the only organization in the city focusing on the issue of grief and healing for all family members and individuals who have lost a loved one. Our work is grounded in research – both external, with respect to grief theory and its manifestations – and internal, which has helped to determine priority groups requiring assistance and enhance our capacity to respond to their diverse needs. BFO-Toronto singularly engages in community work around the issue of grief, conducting seminars and workshops for grassroots organizations, community groups and other not for profits at no cost. Our intensive training prepares volunteers to serve as program facilitators to assist others. Our cumulative efforts over 30 years have earned us an excellent reputation as educators around the needs of bereaved individuals.

Trees of Light Thursday December 1, 2011 Visit the website at www.bfotoronto.ca for more information and to order your doves.

We welcome submissions to the newsletter from the BFO-Toronto community. Please submit your story, book review or community news to [email protected]

BFO-Toronto Office Hours BFO-Toronto office hours are: Monday—Thursday 10 am– 6 pm, Fridays Closed An important note: please be sure to call before 5 pm to speak to someone if you have to cancel your appointment as the phone is set to go directly to voicemail from 5 pm to 6 pm This newsletter is produced by our members and supporters and is available by Email and on our website. We would also be happy to mail a copy upon request. We welcome submissions, please forward to [email protected]. We reserve the right to edit items submitted for publication. The opinions and ideas expressed by our members and other authors in this newsletter, represent their own unique experiences of grief and do not necessarily reflect the views of BFO-Toronto.

Bereaved Families of Ontario-Toronto Bereaved helping the bereaved learn to live with grief. We can help the healing begin. BFO-Toronto 28 Madison Ave. Toronto, ON M5R 2S1 416-440-0290 bfotoronto.ca Newsletter designed and edited by Jane Smart ([email protected])