Moment to Foment (4–Bobblehead) Synopsis This is a parody of the TV show Minute to Win It, but with a different thrust: It only takes a moment to foment rebellion. The teams on this show foment rebellion by their sin.

Plot 1. Show Introduction 2. Contestants (a) Aaron (b) The (Bad) Spies (c) Moses 3. Rebellion Summary 4. Hebrew Midwives

Attachments Script Formatting Makefile Makefile Include This document is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License, but if you want an exception, email me: [email protected]. Use it for God’s glory, and you ought to be fine.

Moment to Foment – 1

Moment to Foment

Revision: 4–Bobblehead (2014-04-18T08:17)

Scene 1: Moment to Foment; The to-be contestants are sitting in the “audience.” The Announcer enters. Count Seller From the producers of Minute to Win It, welcome to. . . Moment to Foment, the show where we see just how long it takes to foment rebellion. In our show, contestants will be presented with a scenario. They must choose what to do, and then we see how their choices turn out, for good or ill. Are you ready to play our show? *cheers and applause*

Count Seller Alright then, let’s get started with our first contestant. Please welcome Aaron son of Amram! Aaron enters and begins warming up.

Count Seller Tell me a little about yourself, Aaron. Aaron My name is Aaron. I’m the son of Amram and Jochebed. I was born in Egypt, but I’m a Hebrew, a descendant of Abraham. Count Seller That’s interesting. Do you have any other family? Aaron Well, (sighs) , I am also the brother of Moses, the great prophet. Count Seller Is it hard to live in his shadow? Aaron Yes. Even though God chose me as the high priest, Moses was still the most important person. Count Seller Well, Aaron, Moses isn’t here, and this is your time to shine. Are you ready? Aaron (warms up) I’m ready, Count Seller. Count Seller You know the rules, but let me quickly summarize them for our audience. You’ll be given a situation. Then you have only a moment to decide what to do. Then we’ll see how it turns out. If things go well, you’ll get to keep going. Otherwise, you’ll go home empty-handed. Aaron OK, got it. Count Seller Here’s your first blueprint. Announcer You have been the spokesman for your brother and God to the king of the most powerful nation around. God has performed miracles through you, like turning your staff into a snake, making you leprous and then healing you, and making your staff grow leaves. Your brother, the prophet, has gone up on a nearby mountain and has been gone for over a month. Some of the people come to you and say, “Make a god for us. We don’t know what has happened to Moses.” What should you do? Aaron (struggles to think of an answer) I. . . uh. . . ummm. . . OK. I’ll tell them to give me all the gold they have so that I can make a statue of a calf out of the gold so that they can worship the calf. Count Seller Let’s see how that turned out, Aaron. Announcer The people begin to worship the golden calf. Then, they abandon all self-control and become reckless in their pursuit of pleasure. The sordid scene only ends when Moses and the Levites start putting people to death. Count Seller How do you think he did? The “audience” makes the loser noise.

Count Seller Oh! I’m sorry, Aaron. That’s not a good outcome. It only takes. . . All A Moment to Foment rebellion! Count Seller Thanks for playing. Better luck next time. Aaron returns to the audience.

Count Seller Let’s welcome our next contestant, the Ten Spies! (leads applause) The spies come to the stage.

Count Seller Welcome, spies.

Moment to Foment – 2

Revision: 4–Bobblehead (2014-04-18T08:17)

Spies Hello. Count Seller Aren’t there supposed to be 10 spies? Where’s everyone else? Renowned Caleb and Joshua were busy. There wasn’t room for all the rest of us in the taxi. The others are just going to watch it on TV from their hotel room. Count Seller Oh, OK. You don’t think that having only a few of you will be a handicap, do you? Judged No, I think we’ll be fine. We’re pretty tough. Count Seller So, do you have names, or are you just called the Ten Spies? Substance We have names, but they’re hard to pronounce. You can call us the Spies. Count Seller Do you understand how our game works, or would you like me to explain it? Renowned We know how the game works. Count Seller Let’s go to your first blueprint. Announcer The Lord God has just delivered the entire nation of Israel from the most powerful nation in the known world. He sent plagues upon them, filling their land with frogs, flies, and locusts; destroying their crops and livestock, bringing darkness, and finally causing their first born sons to die. He destroyed the Egyptian army by drowning them in the Red Sea while you and all your people did nothing but watch. Your are now at the border of Canaan, the promised land. You were sent into Canaan to investigate the strength of the people who live there, the fruitfulness of the land, and generally what it’s like. While you were spying out the land, you saw wonderful crops and herds. The land itself would be a wonderful place to live. (the spies start to celebrate) However, there are very large and powerful people living in the land. (the spies become very afraid and begin to find hiding places) They have strong cities, and they look very fierce. After you return from Canaan, Moses asks you to give your opinions to the people. What do you do? The spies begin talking to each other.

Renowned I’m not sure, what do you think, guys? Judged Did you see those guys? They make us look like tater tots standing next to them! Hidden Yeah, I bet we’d get squashed just like tater tots, too! Substance Don’t you remember how God destroyed the army of Egypt? He parted the Red Sea, then when they rode down into it chasing us, he drowned them all in the sea. Don’t you think he might be powerful enough to beat even these people? Hidden But the Egyptians weren’t very tall. They were probably easier for God to defeat. These guys are huge! Substance Oh, yeah. I didn’t think about that. Duh, these guys are giants. Renowned Well, what are we going to tell the people? They’re all waiting. Substance I thought you said we were tough? Judged We are! . . . when we want to be. I’m afraid right now. Hidden Would someone hold my hand. I’m worried. Renowned (steps forward to give their official answer) We’ve got to tell the people the truth. The people of the land are too strong for us. We’ll never defeat them. Count Seller That’s certainly is. . . an answer. Do the rest of the spies agree? The spies peek out from their hiding places and answer affirmatively.

Count Seller Let’s see how that choice turns out. The spies come out of hiding.

Moment to Foment – 3

Revision: 4–Bobblehead (2014-04-18T08:17)

Announcer After you tell all the people that there’s no way you can defeat the Canaanites, they become afraid. They start complaining to Moses and Aaron. The people broke faith with God, and as a consequence, were not permitted to enter the promised land. God made them journey around the wilderness for the next 40 years, until that whole generation died, before the Israelites were allowed to enter the Canaan. Count Seller (painfully) Ooooh! Not good! The spies begin chiding themselves over their bad choice.

Count Seller Oh! I’m sorry, spies. That’s not a good outcome. It only takes. . . All A Moment to Foment rebellion! Count Seller Well, I hate to say it guys, but you bombed on your first attempt. At least we won’t make you wander around this studio for the next 40 years. You can return to the audience, and we’ll get our next contestant. The spies return to the “audience.”

Count Seller Our next team is from the land of Goshen, welcome Shiphrah and Puah! applause as Shiphrah and Puah enter the contestant area

Count Seller Welcome, ladies. Both (not in unison) Thanks. We’re glad to be here. Count Seller Shiphrah and Puah, those are unusual names. Shiphrah We’re Hebrews. My name means “peaceful sky.” Puah I’m Puah, but you can call me “Splendid.” Count Seller And just what do you do down there in Goshen? Puah We’re midwives. We help women through pregnancy and help them deliver their babies. Count Seller Babies! That sounds like a job that will never get old. Shiphrah We’ve heard that joke a hundred times. Count Seller Sorry. I’m paid to be beautiful, not witty. Are you ready to play our game? Both We are. Count Seller Just to remind you: you will be presented with a situation in which you must choose wisely, or else. Here’s your first blueprint. Announcer You and your people have become so numerous and mighty that Pharaoh, the king of Egypt, is afraid that your people might join forces with his enemies to attack him. He decides to enslave your people and make them work hard from morning until night. His final plan to destroy the military strength of Israel is to have all the infant boys killed. Pharaoh orders the Hebrew midwives— Puah Hey, that’s us! Announcer He orders the Hebrew midwives to kill any male baby as soon as it is born. Count Seller So, ladies, you have your orders from the king of the most powerful nation on earth. What will you do? Shiphrah and Puah turn to each other to discuss their options.

Shiphrah If we don’t do what Pharaoh says, he’ll almost certainly have us killed! Puah But if we do what Pharaoh says, we’ll be murdering innocent children! Shiphrah God definitely doesn’t want us to murder the babies we help deliver. Puah Aren’t you afraid of Pharoah, though? Shiphrah I think I’m more afraid of God. Who would you rather have to give a bad answer to, Pharaoh or God? Puah I agree.

Moment to Foment – 4

Revision: 4–Bobblehead (2014-04-18T08:17)

Shiphrah We’ll risk Pharaoh’s wrath and defy his orders. We won’t kill the Hebrew babies. Count Seller I’m pretty sure Pharaoh won’t be too pleased with that choice. Let’s see how it turns out. Announcer Pharaoh is incensed that you didn’t murder the baby boys, but God blessed you because your allegiance to him was greater than your fear of Pharaoh. One of the boys you let live grew up to be Moses, the man through whom God delivered your people from slavery in Egypt. Shiphrah and Puah high five and congratulate each other.

Count Seller Wow! That turned out really good. Congratulations on making past your first challenge. Are you ready for your next blueprint? Both Yes! Count Seller Alright, then, here’s your next— a buzzer sounds

Count Seller Uh oh. That sound means we’re out of time today, join us again next week when our contestants must make a good choice, because. . . It only takes All A moment to foment rebellion!