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Coming soon from Big Finish, “Dark Shadows: _________.”

Sky Rumson’s dying words were:

Quentin’s Theme was actually written by:

_______made Maggie forget the events of the last few weeks.

Godzilla Vs._______.

______ :#1 at the Blue Whale.

The Ghost of Bill Malloy materialized to warn you about ______.

______washed up at the foot of Widow’s Hill. again.

Quentin’s deck of I Ching wands smells like ______.

David Collins went on to play bass in a punk band called ______.

Willie liked to leave _______ on Maggie’s pillow.

The original title of DARK SHADOWS was ______.

During the full moon, Chris Jennings would turn into ______.

Charles Delaware Tate used ______ to complete Quentin’s portrait.

The Collins Family History is filled with pictures of ______..

“______, The Autobiography of Dr. Julia Hoffman.”

Quentin Collins once fell in love with ______.

______Has been known to ward off werewolves.

What was the worst thing ever found in the men’s room at The Blue Whale?

Barnabas Collins travelled back in time to 1776 to stop ______.

The Collinsport High homecoming game was cancelled because of ______.

What did David find in Victoria’s underwear drawer?

When ______ didn’t work, David used ______to try and murder his father.

Most of Angelique’s potions require at least 15 gallons of dehydrated ______ to be effective.

josette changed her relationship status because of ______.

Why was DARK SHADOWS canceled?

______ is a gypsy cure for vampirism.

______: The next sheriff of Collinsport.

Piles of ______are hidden in the cellar of the Old House.

“Barnabas, Quentin and ______,” by Marilyn Ross.

Collinsport : Come for ______. Stay for ______.

They never showed Jeb Hawkes’ “true form” because he looked like ______.

______: Count Petofi’s pet name for his mummified hand.

Roger was proud the year David asked Santa for ______.

Barnabas Collins once invested in a race horse named ______.

It’s never a bad time for ______.

Quentin Collins did it in the study with ______.

“You evaded my ______attack. Most impressive.”

“______: The Millicent Collins Story,” a Lifetime original movie.

“My name is Victoria Winters. In the grim darkness of the future, I see only ______..”

______: Barnabas’ one, true love.

The 1840 storyline is regarded as the pinnacle of ______.

“Poor Aristede, you mustn’t indulge in this orgy of ______.”

A fortune teller told me I will live a life filled with ______.

______ in the morning, sailors take warning.

“Barnabas!” Dr. Hoffman exclaimed. “This man was obviously killed by ______!””

Nicholas Blair’s incantation begins with the words ______.

the west wing is filled with the sorrowful echoes of ______.

______is a dish best served cold.

Alas, Charles Delaware Tate’s “______” didn’t become as famous as “Starry Night.”

The bride wore ______.

Barnabas shot his uncle Jeremiah in the face with a ______.

When David woke up the next morning, he discovered that the Tooth Fairy had left ______under his pillow.

As a kid, I was afraid that ______was hiding under my bed.

Angelique has a real problem with ______.

Cirque Du Soleil presents: “COLLINWOOD: a night of dancing, acrobats, and _____.”

Barnabas Collins closely resembled a portrait of his ______.

Excuse me. You’re standing on my ______.

To make things more festive, the gallows were decorated with brightly painted ______.

Members of the Collinsport Historical Society can identify other members by ______.

Next year for Halloween I’m going to be ______.

Sticks and stones may break my bones but ______will never hurt me.

Fashions provided by ______.

When you see ______, it’s time to leave Collinsport.

Attorney Tony Peterson specializes in cases involving ______.

Julia Hoffman always keeps ______in her fridge.

Aliens invaded Collinsport, but left when they saw ______.

The Collins family originally made their fortune selling ______.

What am I hiding in the basement?

Step one ______. Step two ______. Step three eternal love.

______ is the rev’s trask’s secret vice.

I learned the hard way you can’t hide ______behind a brick wall.

I raised ______from the dead! And all it took was ______.

I drink to forget ______, but ______will haunt me to the grave.

In a daring experiment Julia will attempt to cure ______ using nothing but ______.

Barnabas doesn’t always travel trough time, but when he does, it’s because of ______.

If the Collinsport Police Department weren’t so stupid they wouldn’t have to deal with ______.

Barnabas beat Willie so hard that he bled ______.

Something went horribly wrong! Dr. Lang switched his head with ______!

What do you see in this Rorschach blot, Miss Evans?

Sheriff Patterson found you passed out naked in the road. What’s the last thing you remember?

Dark shadows is actually an allegory for ______.

Danielle Rogét left a trail of corpses and ______ during her escape from France.

I didn’t have plans for the weekend until I found ______ at eagle hill cemetery.

ben cross would have made a better barnabas collins had the script included more scenes of _____.

Don’t rule out cannibalism until you’ve tried ______.

while under the influence of gerard stiles, Leticia Faye publicly humiliated herself with ______.

an unresolved plotline revelead that victoria’s real father was killed by ______.

______ drives barnabas into fits of panic.

if you’re going to paint a portrait of a collins, you really need to emphasize ______

the only way to sate the monster’s bloodlust is with ______.

a forbidden book of occult lore written in 1640 by ______

hulu is using ______to promote episodes of dark shadows.

the worst part of being a vampire is dealing with ______

what were roger and liz really hiding from victoria?

portia fitzsimmons used to dance under the stage name ______.

Willy "over-acting just a little bit” Loomis

Bill Malloy’s bloated corpse

A faint smell of seaweed with no defined point of origin

Getting stabbed to death at The Blue Whale

Mrs. Johnson’s lost virginity

Coffin stench

Jalapeno flavored Mummy Meat

A teacup full of Adam’s scar scabs

An enchanted fleshlight

A case of sherry and a little privacy

obsessive Helena Bonham Carter fans

Adam’s stack of used-up porn

Roger’s perverted Ouija Board fetish

A scaly fish-man sporting a mild erection

Drunken line readings

Johnny Depp’s mascara

An evasive teleprompter

Beating Willie like it’s going out of style

At least 15 — but no fewer than 7 — strangled prostitutes

A Barbershop Quartet of the Damned

Guyliner and Aquanet

The Foundling Home’s creepy janitor

Black jelly beans and Astroglide

A werewolf jumping through the window of The Blue Whale

Handcuffing Burke Devlin naked to a bed frame

A beatboxing werewolf on LSD

A dude made from parts of other dudes

Roger’s Incestors

My cousin, uncle Jeremiah

A Time Warp Room in every home

Wandering into the wrong scene

Cirrhosis of the liver

A self-loathing homosexual zombie

“Going to Bangor” ... if you know what I mean

A fake English accent

the reanimated remains of amelia earhart

Three lusty Elvis impersonators

Witchcraft, herpes and literally a ton of reefer

A flaming bag of poop left on the doorstep of Collinwood

A Tupperware container full of blood

A “Wet Willie”

Prof. Stokes naked, dancing in the moonlight

Farting loudly in the family crypt

Victorian-era sexuality

LAND OF THE LOST cosplay

Bargain bin mail-order brides

Judah Zachary’s scalp wax

nude Séances

Homoerotic bleeder valve slashfic

David Collins, a book or matches and a lingering grudge

Diabolos’ ex-wife

Harry Johnson’s hairy Johnson

Pudding-based homicide

Laura Collins’s baby shower

zombie pirates

Matthew Morgan’s House of haggis

Horehound-flavored roofies

Punching Roger Davis in the throat

crossbows bolt to the pancreas

monsters with faces full of nipples

A haunted house full of pedophiles

Feeding cum-frosted pop tarts to your enemy

Dreams of necrophilia

Another goddamn time travel story

that weird stain on the Collinsport Afghan

Gothic literature “pastiches”

Costume porn

Hate sex with king johnny romano

Strangely phallic crystal balls

finding public lice in Count Petofi’s wig

Mr. Juggins dressed in lingerie

A rusty mop bucket that Adam has been using as a toilet

Exactly 14 bowls of haunted Flan

A mangled tentacle leaking a viscous green fluid

View Master reels depicting random murder attempts

Dr. Hoffman smoking her kneecaps off

Convenient amnesia

Some fucking common sense

Hypocrisy so thick you could build walls out of it

Sherry

Ominous games of dress up

glued-on Mutton-chops

The cunning use of a black wig

Pansy Faye’s dance routine

Roger’s brandy

Potentially homicidal children

Idiot police

The person you murdered

I Don’t Understand

Your dead girlfriend who hates you

A little boy feeling up his relatives

Laughing fetuses

a drunk driving conviction

a chifferobe full of family skeletons

horny werewolves

the dream curse, only “wetter”