New Moon (Twilight, #2) by Stephenie Meyer

››› Get audio book for free. ‹‹‹ Original Title: New Moon (Twilight, #2) ISBN: 1904233880 ISBN13: 9781904233886 Autor: Stephenie Meyer Rating: 3.2 of 5 stars (1498) counts Original Format: Paperback, 497 pages Download Format: PDF, RTF, ePub, CHM, MP3. Published: September 30th 2007 / by Atom / (first published September 6th 2006) Language: English Genre(s): Young Adult- 12,183 users Fantasy- 9,852 users Romance- 6,453 users Paranormal >Vampires- 6,141 users Fiction- 4,120 users

Description:

For Bella Swan, there is one thing more important than life itself: Edward Cullen. But being in love with a vampire is even more dangerous than Bella could ever have imagined. Edward has already rescued Bella from the clutches of one evil vampire, but now, as their daring relationship threatens all that is near and dear to them, they realize their troubles may be just beginning...

About Author:

I was born in Connecticut in 1973, during a brief blip in my family's otherwise western U.S. existence. We were settled in Phoenix by the time I was four, and I think of myself as a native. The unusual spelling of my name was a gift from my father, Stephen (+ ie = me). Though I have had my name spelled wrong on pretty much everything my entire life long, I must admit that it makes it easier to Google myself now. I filled the "Jan Brady" spot in my family--the second of three girls; however, unlike the Bradys, none of my three brothers are steps, and all of them are younger than all the girls. I went to high school in Scottsdale, Arizona, the kind of place where every fall a few girls would come back to school with new noses and there were Porsches in the student lot. (For the record, I have my original nose and never had a car until I was in my twenties.) I was awarded a National Merit Scholarship, and I used it to pay my way to Brigham Young University, in Provo, Utah. I majored in English but concentrated on literature rather than creative writing, mostly because I didn't consider reading books "work." (As long as I was going to be doing something anyway, I might as well get course credit for it, right?) I met my husband, Pancho (his real name is Christiaan), when I was four, but we were never anywhere close to being childhood sweethearts; in fact, though we saw each other at least weekly through church activities, I can't recall a single instance when we so much as greeted each other with a friendly wave, let alone exchanged actual words. This may have been for the best, because when we did eventually get around to exchanging words, sixteen years after our first meeting, it only took nine months from the first "hello" to the wedding; of course, we were able to skip over a lot of the getting-to-know you parts. (Many of our conversations would go something like this: "This one time, when I was ten, I broke my hand at a party when--" "Yeah. I know what happened. I was

there, remember?") We've been married for ten-and-a-half years now and have three beautiful, brilliant, wonderful boys who often remind me of chimpanzees on crack. I can't write without music, and my biggest muse is, ironically enough, the band Muse. My other favorite sources of inspiration are Linkin Park, My Chemical Romance, Coldplay, The All American Rejects, Travis, The Strokes, Brand New, U2, Kasabian, Jimmy Eat World, and Weezer, to mention a few.

Other Editions:

- New Moon (Twilight, #2)

- New Moon (Twilight, #2)

- New Moon (Twilight, #2)

- New Moon (Twilight, #2)

- Luna nueva (Crepúsculo, #2)

Books By Author:

- Twilight (Twilight, #1)

- Eclipse (Twilight, #3)

- Breaking Dawn (Twilight, #4)

- The Host (The Host, #1)

- Midnight Sun (Twilight, #1.5)

Books In The Series:

- Twilight (Twilight, #1)

- Eclipse (Twilight, #3)

- Breaking Dawn (Twilight, #4)

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- The Awakening / The Struggle (The Vampire Diaries, #1-2)

Rewiews:

Dec 04, 2013 Steph Sinclair Rated it: did not like it Recommends it for: Ha! Shelves: 2011-reads, i-own-it, could-have-been-better, didn-t-care-for-it, why-why-why-did-i-readit, hated-it-with-a-firey-passion, vamps, le-sigh, 2008-reads, lots-of-fail-going-on-here, stop-italready, bound-to-inflict-a-migraine, ahhhhh-my-eyes, i-blame-twilight, where-s-my-chocolate, serve-me-up-insta-love, all-the-wrong-choices, heroines-i-want-to-shake, kill-me-now, i-used-tolike-this, project-read, rubbish, too-long-don-t-care, glad-it-s-over, triangle-of-love, young-adult, did-not-finish Stephen King once said, "Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good." I couldn't agree more, Stephen. With that, we shall kick this off with a joke:

Heh. This re-reading is brought to you courtesy of Project: Hindsight.

I'm sorry folks. I just could not get through this shit book another time. However, since I've already read it a few times, I feel extremely confident in skipping to the review. But first, can someone please explain to me why this book is 563 pages?! Seriously Stephen King once said, "Stephenie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good." I couldn't agree more, Stephen. With that, we shall kick this off with a joke:

Heh. This re-reading is brought to you courtesy of Project: Hindsight.

I'm sorry folks. I just could not get through this shit book another time. However, since I've already read it a few times, I feel extremely confident in skipping to the review. But first, can someone please explain to me why this book is 563 pages?! Seriously, how is it possible a book with almost no plot can be so long? When I first read New Moon back in 2008, I didn't like it. In fact I'm not even sure why it had three stars because I remember being super frustrated. Even though Edward and Bella's relationship deeply disturbs my soul, Bella is so incredibly boring without him. I'm not even sure how Stephenie Meyer managed 563 pages. Truly, I'm amazed because I can sum up New Moon in one big picture:

But let's get on with it, I'll go into some detail for ya. The book starts off on Bella's 18th birthday, a day she has been dreading for months only because in her mind she will be one year older than Edward. So, she makes a huge production about people not celebrating her birthday, but the Cullens ignore her and Alice plans a party. Before Edward forces her to attend they watch Romeo and Juliet (the book's supposed theme) and they have merry little conversation about Edward's contingency plans once Bella dies. Now, let's not forget they've only been dating for a few months. Yet, here they are making out and talking about killing themselves in the event of the other's death. How romantic. Don't even ask me the logic behind how they can even kiss when his teeth are supposed to be "venom coated." Stephenie Meyer gives some bull shit excuse she must have learned from ass-grab 101. But I digress... Finally, they make it to the birthday party. Bella gets a paper cut and Jasper almost singlehandedly ends this series on page 29.

Unfortunately, to my dismay his attempt was foiled by Edward. Eddie pushes Bella out the way and she crashes into the glass plates, slashing up her arm. Pause, let's think about that scene a bit: Who's bright idea was it to have glass plates? With a human. In a room full of vampires. That drink blood. Isn't Alice psychic? Why didn't she see Bella cutting her finger on the wrapping paper? Wait, don't think about that because if you spend all your time contemplating the stupidity, we'll never get through this review. Obviously, Eddie is not happy with the events that went down at his place and Bella further irritates him by apologizing for...wait for it...being human. Bella, you know you've been hanging out with mythical creatures too much when you start thinking your humanity isn't normal. But anyway, Eddie does what any loving boyfriend would do after their girlfriend is attack by their brother: he ignores her. And because Eddie is "Alpha Male Edward" and Bella is "Submissive Mary Sue Bella," she doesn't confront him about it. Instead, she waits for him to be ready. On the third day of ignoring her, he drags he into the words and chucks up the deuces. The exchange goes a little like this:

Alpha Male Edward tells Submissive Mary Sue Bella firmly, "No, I don't want you to come. You're no good for me." And she pretty much agrees realizing how much of a waste of space she is. Then Edward just pours salt all over her open wound and tells her: "Don't do anything reckless or stupid," he ordered, no longer detached. "Do you understand what I'm saying?...I'm thinking of Charlie, of course. He needs you. Take care of yourself--for him." I nodded helplessly. Wow. Relly? You're just going to let him order you around like that? How about you look after yourself FOR YOU first, everyone else second? Awesome Bells. Can I call you Bells? Not only do you have ZERO self-preservation skills, but also no self-confidence. Just awesome. There's only about a million or so girls looking up to you as a role model. No pressure to be a strong female character. You could have walked away from this with grace, but no, instead all your dignity flies out the window when you pull a bitch move and run after Edward through the woods.

Then, she defaults back to "Fuck my life" mode and slips into a depression for four fucking months. I find it kind of funny her depression was longer than their actual relationship. Heh. But this wasn't just any depression, it was some serious shit. I always had nightmares now, every night. Not nightmares really, not in the plural, because it was always the same nightmare. You'd think I'd get bored after so many months, grow immune to it. Or how about this: Even my outsides looked different--my face sallow, white except for the purple circles the nightmares had left under my eyes. My eyes were dark enough against my pallid skin that--if I were beautiful and seen from a distance--I might even pass for a vampire now. Once again I find myself asking the question: Where are her parents?! Why did Charlie let this go on for FOUR months?! She should have been in counseling or something. But Meyer thinks she can just pacify readers by Renee sending a random e-mail here and there or Charlie just suggesting she seek help, only to be shot down by Bella. Fail. So much fail. All that considered, that's not even the biggest problem I have with this book. Bella soon figures out she can conjure up hallucinations of Edward if she does something reckless or suicidal. This is where Jake comes into play. Bella uses Jake (like everyone else) to get what she wants by asking him to fix up two motorcycles she found and giving her riding lessons. She figures it will be the perfect thing to help her see more of Edward. I suppose she simply forgot how big of a klutz she is and once the bikes are fixed the lessons commence. The first time she gets on she falls off and Jake (the only one with common sense) thinks they should call it a day before she gets hurt. But Bella thinks this is BK and she can have it her way, and gets back on the bike.

Chick has gone batshit crazy and she promptly busts her ass. But she doesn't care because her mission was a success! She got to see and hear Edward! Her next brilliant idea is to throw herself off a cliff during high tide. The first time I read this I was secretly hoping she would drown, but the other two books already were published, so it was a hopeless wish. Oh and I almost forgot to mention the actual plot. LOL. Funny how that happens when there isn't one, huh? LOL. The Shevamp, Victoria, is scoping out the area trying to get to Bella. But her part is VERY small in this book (like the plot), so we don't really need to talk about her. I suppose the wolf pack is worth

mentioning: They're pretty much a bunch of wannabe werewolves that run around with their shirts off.

That's all you really need to know about them. So, finally Alice shows up in chapter 18 because she thought Bella was trying to commit suicide (close enough Alice). And through a nice little exchange of "he said, she said" BS, Edward is off to Italy to kill himself. This causes Bella to go into "hero" mode and race to Italy and save Edward. I really don't care enough to give my thoughts on the race to Italy. That entire part was rushed and anti-climatic. There isn't even a fight scene. Instead here is a timeline courtesy of Reasoning with Vampires (Thanks for the link Cait and Jen!):

Anyway, they get back to good old Forks and Bella composes a vote on everyone's thoughts of her joining team undead. Edward is at a steady "no" along with Rosalie. But everyone else says, "Hell yes!" Like becoming a vampire is a party or something. Funny thing is when Bella asks Jasper he goes:

And she's all:

Hmm, yeah, that's not weird at all. Not the least bit creepy. In the last few pages Edward and Jake have a little pissing contest and Edward proposes to Bella. The End. Yawn. Thank God it's over. Now where's my fuckin' chocolate? My Twilight Review can be found here.

***BONUS*** Oh, yeah, bonus time. 'Cause what's a review without one? Quick! If I were to light Edward on fire what would he become? (view spoiler)[

(hide spoiler)]

More reviews and more at Cuddlebuggery Book Blog. 541 likes 112 comments

Cordelianne I just read Twilight again, because I wanted to see if it was still as good as I thought, but nooooo, your review is hilarious and sums up exactly the I just read Twilight again, because I wanted to see if it was still as good as I thought, but nooooo, your review is hilarious and sums up exactly the problems I had with the book!!

Dec 09, 2016 11:20PM

Kathryn moore Love the bonus

Jan 11, 2017 02:18AM