"W hen I'm Fishin'"

A

WICKED WORLD, on' weary! An' moslly woes

an'

night!

An'

while

the

pa rson's

preaching I almost think he's right; but when I'm just a-fishin'-I can't! No felie r could, if he's got bait aplenty on' the fish is bitin' good! I know there's lots of troubles on' cussedness around; on' rocks, on' thorns, an' briars, all pe st-

e rin' the g round; but still, there's lots of dumplin ', an' gravy in the dish, on' I'm no t pessimistic when

I'm pullin' in the fish ! Some doys I fish with minnows, an' then with

nuggets

worms or flies; it keeps a felle r gu essin' just where

he'll get a rise! You've got to use some jedgment;

it's ha lf the game on' mo re-what kind of bait you're usin' an' just what you're fish in' for!

Now, mi nd you, I a in't denyin' the preache r' s talk is right, But when you're always rea din', some thin gs OI'e out of sight, There's creeks on ' lakes, an' rivers, an' skies that's often blue, an' lots of

fish-
June

1955

,

NUGGETS Everyman's Dish A little boosting now and then Is relished by the most of men! No matter what your job may be, If cutting hay or serving tea, Fro~ drafting laws to making shotA little boost may mean a lot. A cheery word, a kindly smileA friendly nod once in a while, May be the sanding of the track For some poor chap who's slipping back. It isn't "blarney," "bunk" nor "show" To give a guy a glad "Hello"And let him know you mean it, tooFor somehow it comes back to you And makes for you a brighter day. The moral is-agoin I sayIt's relished by the most of menA little boosting now and then.

-J. Bateman.

Volume 1

JUNE, 1955

Number 2

Davis-Williamson Chapel in the Valley 1303 Main

Cassville, Mo. Available to All Regardless of Financial Condition

Ambl,liance Service

Tel. 57

, Editorial Musings

Random Reflections

of college campuses and in many, many high school auditoriums, there is a day in Jun e when happy O youngsters wait impatiently through the speeches an9 other

As they establish themselves in the community, they may realize that homeowners have responsibilities and duties. It suddenly becomes more important to be able to read the news· papers and periodicals thoughtfully, to be able to judge whom to believe and what to believe. It is then that they will begin to think back to their school days and appreciate the true value of that part of their formal education which may have seemed so unnecessa ry at the time. It takes years and experience, frustrations and successes, to change the thinking of the graduates who are satisfied that their task of education is finished when they leave school. Those who have taken years of their own lives to find that out for themselves cannot convince the younger generation. When they were young they did not believe it either. Perhaps it is best that each generation learn for itself through everyday living that education is a continuing program that lasts all through life.

N HUNDREDS

formalities to receive their diplomas. Through the minds of thousands of them runs the glad thought that they have finished their education. With that behind them, they can begm to make money and to establish themselves as important persons in the community. They may not realize it for a while, but their education ~s never finished. It is only their school days that have ended. TheIr education in the sense of learning, has just begun. Graduation from sch~ol is merely a transition from onc kind of education to another. Some of the young people quickly find out that they do not completely control thei,r o~n des~iny. W:~rld conditions reach in and vitally affect thclf pnvate lr~es. ~,lltary ,duty takes. many into a new kind of learning-trainmg If you WIsh to call It that - but it is learning just the same. Others not subject to military call, for one reason or another, begin to find out how much they do not know when they go after jobs. What they have learned In school IS Important, of course but it is not enough. They have to learn Just how to do the jobs they want and what additional skills and knowledge may become necessary to WIn promotions. As they grow older they will learn that in a sense nothing is ever finished-that change is the only constant. The Jobs they learned so well yesterday may become obsolete to~orrow. !hat will mean more leaining to qualify for new and dIfferent Jobs. There will always be something new to learn, always the need for more education. The economic conditions under which jobs seems so easy to get may change. They may have to learn what it is to have to hunt for jobs, and how prudent It may be sometimes to hold on to the ones they have.

~

everyone at some time in life is beset by one of two N temptations: The first is to point with pride at something already done while resting on the laurels earned. The other is to EARLY

point with promise at something about to be done while resting on the brightness of that promise. Yielding to either temptation results in the same evil- noth· ing done today! . It is only too true that no one can get by indefinitely on past performances. It is only what is being done today that counts today. It is never enough to have done something fine yesterday. Today's plaudits go to the person who is doing something worthwhile today. Nor can anyone get by indefinitely on promises for the future. The world will not keep postponing tomorrow. Sooner or later the ttlttlre becomes the now when those bright promises must be fulfilled. And that is possible only when something is done today.

f

More Musings H ERE was a time when certain types of stories ended with a li ne something like this: "They were married and lived happily ever after." Today any June bride knows that a happy marriage is not the automatic result of the ceremony at the altar. The wedding is only the auspicious beginning of what should become a true and lasting partnership for life. How to make it that is a problem each couple has to solve-but not until the honeymoon is over. A judge who had a great deal of experience with marriages in trouble once offered these suggestions; 1. Be as nice to your spol,lse as you are to yourself. 2. Maintain a sense of humor. 3. Don't take your problems to outsiders. 4. Don't forget small attentions. 5. Advice of parents should be sought only on inf requent and really important occasions. Most problems should be worked out between the husband and wife. 6. Keep financial matters on a business plane, with the idea that marriage is a partnership financially as well as in other ways. 7. Marry with the feeling that divorce is illegal and marr iage is permanent. And probably the most important suggestion of them all is the attitude of permanence-the old "for better or worse" ideal. When people marry with the determination to make it last, they usually find ways to insure that it does.

"There Is More in You"

T

If a comprehensive title were required for the three preceding pages, we'd favor this: "From Diplomas to Diapers and Beyond."

"PLUS EST EN VOUS" Centuries ago the above motto was hon· ored and believed among the French. It inspired actions that mode glorious history. That was before their character, corrod· ed by Complacence, Indecision and Unpre· pared ness, sank to its current low ebb.

Old world travelers have told of a castle there whose proud lords and serving·men had that motto carved above the gate, engraved upon their suits of armor, and woven into its tapestries and banners. It's an excellent motto today fo r every mother's son and daughter of us. Remember it and affirm it over and over. When you become too self.satisfied, indolent, and prefer to drift with the tidew.hen y
"THERE IS MORE IN MEl"

Pi

Breezy Brevities

know that their most potent weapon in conquering the free world is its panicky horror of war natural to all sane and decent peoples. They rely upon a popular demand for "peace at any price"-a loudly vocal but spineless pacifism, to bring their victims into unwilling but defenseless submission. That sort of graveyard peace is thus made a cover under which evil men perpetrate diabolical wrongs. Crafty scheming underlies every plan. Their propaganda has sought to capitalize on love of peace, and terror of violent death, as a means of extending their rule over the human race. They are being aided and abetted everywhere by witless, self-seeking political demagogues. Perhaps by the time these lines get into print, an irrevocable decision will have been made--forced upon us- at least insofar as American destiny is concerned. A wise Christian bishop long ago said: "Great occasions do not make heroes or cowards; they simply unveil them to the eyes of men. Silently and imperceptibly, as we wake or sleep, we grow strong or we grow weak, and at last some crisis shows us what we have unwittingly become." "This world may have gotten out of our hands, but it has never gotten out of God's," writes Roy 1. Smith, in True Story. "Even a little reading of history makes it abundantly plain that tyrants and dictators come, sooner or later, to the point where God says, very quietly, but with absolute finality, 'That" s far enough. Stop l' Genghis Khan, Caligula, Napoleon, Mussolini, Hitler, Stalin-

C

OMMUNIST AGGRESSORS

Begged Borrowed & Begotten

each in his day created havoc. But each one's day ended eventually, and he went into oblivion." Regardless of what our enemies are saying about us, and we have plenty of them, here at home as well as in other lands, American philanthropy has never been equalled in human history. As Emmet McLoughlin says m Forbes: "She turns her cheek seventy times seven. She fights only to defend her family. But when she has defeated her enemies she binds their wounds, feeds the children, pays their bills and hands forth billions of dollars to restore them to an honorable place among the nations of the world." Says Dr. Victor G. Heiser, physician and public health authority: "It is high time for Americans to develop so~e of the brawn of their pioneer ancestors, and quit bemg damty, steam-heated, rubber-tired, beauty-rested, effeminized, pampered sissies, softened by 1,001 civilized gadgets and contraptions." How right you are! Hit ' em again, Doc! With genial sarcasm the Pikes Peaker cogently observes: "Yes, the United States is in a bad shape--worse off than any other country in the world-in some respects. No other country is suffering political and economic troubles because of a surplus of food. No other country has traffic congestion because so many people own automobiles. In no other country does everyone make so much money and help is so hard to find and keep. In no other country do people take so many holidays, and work so few hours, so they will have time to

Breezy Brevities

Just for a Smile or Two

spend the money that keeps piling upon them. In no other country is obesity, caused by plenty of everything and high living, one of the chief medical problems. Yes, it's a sad situation!" It is always comforting to congratulate ourselves upon the fact that history has finally achieved its ultimate purpose: It has produced US! Having done so, it must of course come to an end. There is no greater illusion than this. If there is one sure lesson from history, it certainly is that no one generation of men is its goal. -Dr. Norman H. Royal, /r. , in Trained M en, Success is the way you walk in the paths of life each day; it's in the little things you do, and in the things you say, Success is not in getting rich, or rising high to fame. It's not alone in winning goals, which all men hope to claim. Success is being big of heart, and clean and broad in mind; it's being faithful to your friends, and to the stranger, kind. It's in the children whom you love ; and all they learn from you; success depends on character, and everything you do. -Pepper Box, St. Louis Rotary Club. Astutely remarks the Cincinnati Enquirer: "Peace is becoming increasjngly expensive, and the point may soon be reached where maintaining peace will cost as much as waging war, in which case the world won't be able to alford either." Rather obviously the world needs either a more angelic race of humans or an entirely new kind of arithmetic- or both,

Glancing at the elegant volwnes on the bookshelf the visitor inquired: "Is your husband a bookworm?" "No," replied her hostess, "just an ordinary one."

~~

c:....--v "Why won't you marry me?" he demanded. "Don't tell me there is someone else! Is there?" "Oh, Edgar," she sighed, "there MUST be!" -News and Views. The doctor was examining a very slightly-built man. At length he shook his head and said dubiously: "You have a strong heart·beat, but I wonder if your ribs can take it,"

- McCall Spirit, As one secretary said to another: "This office is really beau· tifu l. The men are all so good-looking and polite, and I just adore my job. It's the work I hate."

c:....--v Lucy came running to her mother in tears the first morning of her vacation in the country. "Oh, mama, God doesn't love me," she wailed. "My dear, you are very wrong," her mother replied, "What makes you think God doesn't love you?" "Oh, I am sure of it. I tri ed Him with a daisy."

c:....--v "My dear," remarked grandma, on . surveying her granddaughter's new bathing suit, "if I had dared to dress like you girls do today, missy, you'd be six years older right now !"

c:....--v "Johnny, has your dog a good pedigree?" "Has he? Say, if that poodle could talk he wouldn't speak to either of us- except in French."

c:....--v "I don't know whether to marry a woman ten years older than myself, or one that's ten years younger." "Well ... Do you want to be mothered or smothered ?"

'I Aren't People Funny?

Tidbits from Hither & Yon

noted minister and author, confesses: "About the best advice I ever received was from my father, a high school principal. Saying goodbye to my mother one morning, he added: "Tell Harry that he can cut the grass today, if he feels like it." Going down the walk he called back in a tone loud enough for me to hear: "He'd better feel like it." Better Farming tells about a farmer, plowing with one mule, urging him on by shouting: "Giddap, Pete' Giddap, Barney' Giddap, Johnny! Giddap, T om !" An onlooker inquired, "How many names does that mule have?" The farmer replied: "Only one. His name is Pete, but he don't know his own strength, so I put blinders on ' im, and yell a lot of name at 'im. He thinks three other mules are helping him." Anabel Armour, in QUOTE, relates: The leading soloist in the church cantata was unable to get a babysitter. So she had to drag her reluctant young son to practice every session. Finally, completely bored with the reiterated musical expression, he rebelled and insisted on remaining home. "But darling," the mother protested, "you should learn to enjoy church music. Why, the angels sing _around God's throne all day long!" "Well," declared the unregenerate offspring, "I just don't see how God can stand it!" A man telephoned the police to report that thieves had been at work on his car. "They've stolen the steering wheel, the brake pedal, the accelerator, the clutch pedal and the dashboard," he complained. A police sergeant

said he would investigate. Then the phone rang again. "Don't bother," said the same voice (this time with a slight hiccup) "I got into the back seat by mistake." - Tit-Bits, London. University of California, making a survey of the comic-book situation, came up with a startling statistic: Twelve per cent of the nation's teachers are comic-book fans' Columnist Bill Vaughan opines: "I can't get too enthusiastic about a trip to Mars. Imagine taking along enough comic books to keep the kids quiet for all those light-years !" An attractive young woman had an amazing record in the house-to-house sale of vacuum cleaners. Queried as to her success, she confessed to using an effective stratagem: "I always make it a point to address my sales talk to the husband- in tones so low that the wife won't want to miss a single word!" - Wall Street Journal. QUOTE translates a yarn from the Munich Revue: The Bavarian and the Berliner were sitting together up in the ski hut. The former was explaining about the wild goats: "Ja, and when they scent danger, they whistle just like this," and he put two fingers to his mouth and whistled so that the hand-painted dishes on the walls shook. "Hey, I would like to see that," said his astonished companion. "Imagine a goat lifting his leg and putting two toes in his mouth!" Suggested motto to display on the average living room wall: "The views expressed in this home are not necessarily those of the management."

H

ARRY EMERSON FOSDICK,

Yes, People ARE Funny!

Sometimes I Envy Them

To instill into the mind of his son sound wisdom and business precepts was Cohen senior's earnest endeavor. He taught his offspring much, including the advantages of bankruptcy, failures, and fires. "Two bankruptcies equal one failure, two failures equal one fire," etc. Then Junior looked up brightly. "Fadder," he asked, "is marriage a failure?" His sire replied: "Vell, my poy, if you marry a really wealthy woman, marriage is almost as good as a failure." - Here's a Good One. A certain zoologist, says the McCall Spirit, announced that he was trying to cross a parakeet with a black panther. "No!" exclaimed the friend in whom he had confided. "What do 'you expect to get?" The scientist confessed: "I don't rightly know. But if it starts talking, you'd better listen'" Notre Dame has instituted a special English course to familiarize their foreign students with American slang. What prompted it? Continued mishandling of idioms, which reached a climax when one foreign student respectfully addressed a dean with ''I'm very pleased to meet you, sir. I've heard you are a wise guy." The minister was lecturing the class about keeping their minds as clean as their bodies. To emphasize the point he held up '" bar of soap. "Oh, oh!" whispered one youngster, "here comes the commercial'" Two considerate burglars in New Haven, Conn., left a thoughtful note in the kitchen for the householder after devouring a turkey dinner: "Didn't want to disturb you with running water, so we thought it better to leave the dishes dirty."

when I look at colored photographs of the palaces of kings, or the stately mansions of the very rich, I envy them their formal gardens professionally planned and so precisely neat. For ours is just an ordinary backyard of a little home in a midwest city. We have the usual plots of grass on either side of a cement walk that is gray and cracking with age. An old pear tree, untrimmed and sprawling, shades the back door. Early in the spring scattered crocuses poke up through the last light snows to brighten an overcast day with yellow and purple blooms. Later on along the fences, golden jonquils and a mixture of blood-red and brilliant yellow tulips welcome the friendly warmth of the noonday sun. Close by, bunches of blue grape-hyacinths hug the ground and look up at their taller hrothers resplendent in pink. The patches of blue in the shadier spots are wild violets stolen long ago from the woods. In the fleeting days of spring all of these soon become loving memories; but before they do, the ugly old pear tree blossoms forth like Cinderella to crown the yard with queenly beauty. Its reign, too, is brief. Only a few sunny days, and perhaps a moonlit night, before rough spring winds tear away its beauty. On the ground the small white petals suggest one last reminder of the cold

S

OMETIMES

winter snows.

And then a lull comes, as if nature had overtired herself. But it does not last long. Soon the bright orange of the oriental poppies, the light and dark blues of the iris, and the pastel shades of the columbine all re·awaken the

Sometimes I Envy Them yard for the coming of the butterflies and bees. It is the poppies that fade first, followed by the iris a little later. The columbines bloom almost until fall. Summer has scarcely begun when the red ramblers in full bloom almost make us forget everything else. Even the hybrid tea roses, each with a name to match its own individuality, are temporarily humbled by the wealth of blooms on the ramblers. About this time, too, the heavily scented white lilies, standing tall and statuesque, flood the dusk with fragrance. But the tea roses stay with us long after the ramblers and the lilies have faded away. Down closer to the ground the hardy moss roses turn drab earth into a Joseph's coat. Possessing a small strip between the walk and the garage, they persistently seek , to spread their colors in among the other flowers. Hidden here and there the pansies bloom and plead for a little attention, too. And all the while the nasturiums, the phlox, the zinnias, the daisies, and the asters are readying themselves to claim a share of our affections. But before they do, a clear call comes from the common hollyhocks outside the alley fence. Tall spires of color beckon us. The darkest kind of reds mix in with ever so pale yellows. There are delicate shades of pink difficult to distinguish one from another, and a few pure white ones to contrast with those of dark purple. I do not believe I really envy the very rich their formal gardens. For these flowers in our own little yard are our flowers. We planted them, watered them, tended them carefully. We love them as our own, and somehow we feel that they love us. -Robert L. ROJ<.

Success Can Cost Too Much often costs too much. People are prone to pay more for it than it is worth. What folly to put so much time and energy into securing a coveted reward that there is no freshness of feeling or vitality of spirit left with which to enjoy it? Few failures are more pathetic than that of a man intent upon becoming immensely rich, who has lost the power to enjoy the things money can buy. To burn out one's energy in eager pursuit and to seize the prize at last with a hand which cannot hold it, is to write futility over a whole life. We can all recall persons who have been impoverished by the very magnitude of their success. They put so much of themselves into reaching the goal that when it was reached, their very souls were a spent force. The danger of overpaying is peculiarly insidious, because often it is not recognized until too late. He who meant to limit the price he was willing to pay, awakes to find that he has already overpaid. He who meant to exchange only time, energy and pleasure for "success," may discover that he has parted with health, sensitivity of feeling, the capacity for enjoyment, the ability to use leisure, the love of his family, and the companionship of true friends. The sapience in the foregoing observations (if any) was prompted by a friendly reader who wrote this paragraph: "My idea of success is to find time in the midst of a worthwhile work well done to mix and mingle with my fellow men, to enjoy myself, and to help those who

S

UCCESS

That Lying Picture-Salesman!

"In Vain We Build"

stumble, whose feet are bruised along the rocky way. How can a fellow call himself a 'success' if he is too busy to be an attentive husband and father, and to be friendly and neighborly as he goes along? Fellows like that, 1 have noticed, are bent double in their old age trying vainly to pick up the things they threw away." '"'-9~

A S THIS UNLlKEL Y story goes (admits the Louisville £1. Courier-! ouma!) a Catholic priest motoring through Georgia ran out of gas and hiked to a nearby farm house to telephone for aid. "Say!" exclaimed the farmer who let him in, "aren't you a Catholic priest?" Clergyman admitted he was. "Man alive!" bubbled the householder. ''I've always wanted to meet one of your people, but we don't have any in these parts. I'm a Baptist preacher, myself." As he rambled on the priest noticed a big portrait of Pope Pius XII on the wall. "Then, sir," the priest remarked, "how do you happen to have a picture of the Pope on your wall ?" "Oh," replied the farmer, "that isn't the Pope." "Yes, but it is, _sir," protested the priest. "1 have a copy of that identical portrait hanging on the wall of my study." The farmer's jaw dropped in amazement. "Well, what do you know about that! What a liar that picture salesman was! He convinced me that there was a portrait of Harry Truman in full Masonic regalia!"

We are blind until we see That in the human plan Nothing is worth the making if It does not make the man. Why build these cities glorious If man unbuilded goes? In vain we build the world unless The bui lder also grows.

Edwin Markham

A Little o· This

And a Little o' That

SCREENINGS The best air-conditioner so far invented is a cool head coupled to a warm heart. The best things of life are free, but what a pity that the next best things are so expensive! We dislike those who make our dreams come true-they make such nightmares of em ! I

Do you wake up these mornings feeling so good~ and so grateful- that you just have to say, "Is there anything I can do for YOU, today, Lord?" Many other books are packed with useful information. The Bible alone tells us the right way to use it. In this troubled world few problems ace solved. Most are submerged by other- problems and allowed to soak until they become a nasty,

soggy mess. Perhaps every man does have his price, but some hold bargain sales. -Atlas News.

There aren't any hard-aod-fast rules for getting ahead in the world- just hard ones.

-Caroline Clark. Ignorance, too, deserves a few orchids: Think of all the interesting arguments it causes!

Psychiatrists say we are all a little strange in our behavior. Another way of saying: "I'm original. You're eccentric. He's nuts!" -Phi/news. Aristotle said: "The worst thing about slavery is that eventually the slaves get to like it, too."

Too many political spell. binders work their audiences into a lather with soft soap.

Overheard: "That feller is so smart he can talk for hours on any subject. Shucks! He don't need no subject!" A "classic" is a book we wish we had read. When we finally do read it, our stupid friends won't permit us to talk about it!

Book Review: "As a novel it stinks; but for a cold in the head it's better than a shot of whiskey." Be smart and chooseypick your friends-but not down to their bare bones.

Yes (admits the Farm Journal), the young people of today are tomorrow's leaders. Sometimes though we wonder whether they are to be followed, or chased and caught.

A small town is usually a place that is divided by a railway, a main street, two churches, and a lot of opinions.

Advice to speakers: "When you want to confuse an issue, always talk about something that has no relation to it. I know. r used to do it. " -Harry Truman.

lf you have as much trouble getting into last summer's suit as getting today's new car into last year's garage, brother, you have Middle-Age Spread!

- Grantwill (Ga.) Gazette.

How we hate to see people throwing their money away! Especially when the silly spendth rifts won't let us help throw it. Confession magazines are just report cards from the School of Experience.

-Auto Dealer News. We are told that in Japanese pictographic writing the symbol for "woman," repeated three times, represents the word "confusion 1" Man can now travel faster than sound. But Woman can still out-think him, no matter where he is. A best-selling book is one with a shapely woman on the jacket-but no jacket on the woman.

-Chas. V. Mathis. The Seven Ages of Woman: Her right age and six wild guesses. Those rambling, one-story ranch-type homes sadden us. The poor kids who live there never know the joy of sliding down a banister.

A Fisherman's Petition

Get Out of That Rut

A N ANGLING FRIEND (whose veracity in matters perI\.. taining to fishing we gravely doubt) avers that last

man. In life it is leviathan, a spouting tyrant of the seas; in death it beaches its useless carcass on an unknown shore, or bestows its bones and blubber as its only heritage to civilization and achievement. There are few whales in the seas, but countless multitudes of coral. The one is rapidly becoming extinct- the other is working day after day, indefatigably, toward the building of new lands for future generations. MORAL-Don't envy the whale!

summer he found sticking to the wall of a fishing lodge in far northern waters the following scribbled verses, which he brought home to prove it: "Dear Lord, when Gabriel blows his blast And I come home to rest at last, Don't measure me tOl' harp and wings; Let me have instead these things: Some tackle, and rod and reel, A pair of waders and a creel, A gushing, frothy, glacier stream, A placid lake by which to dream, An angel pal with whom to angle, Magic lines that will not tangle, And permission, Lord, with fingers crossed, To lie about the fish I lost." "-.9~

T

HE CORAL is only a speck in the mighty deep, but it is infinitely constructive in its tendencies. Its portion in the pattern of life is humble-it sticks to one place through its entire, uneventful career, unknown, unnoticed, and unhono~ed. But it is a necessary part in a vast and permanent undertaking. It conquers the mighty ocean and rears above the restless waves new lands, providing habitation for birds and beasts and men. The whale is pompous and gigantic-the Titan of the mighty deep. It roves through leagues of ocean waves, the dread of small fishes, the natural prey and enemy of

"-.9~

find yourself thinking that life is humdrummonotonous- you are in a rut, and Iyou uninterestinghad better make special efforts to pull out. Being in F YOU

a rut may be the result of stubbornness, ignorance, or other causes, but whatever the reasons it is a bad condition. It should be remedied if one is to have the fullest and freest expression of one's faculties. There are some signs by which you may know if you are in a rut. If you find yourself unwilling to consider new methods, you are in a rut. Doing a thing a certain way for a long time, doesn't signify that it couldn't be done better some other way. When someone suggests a new plan, give it interested consideration. If it promises well, climb out of your habit-rut and at least give it a fair trial. Being tired often causes that rut-bound feeling. Most people seem to stop growing (mentally) after they become twenty. Other people keep on growing for various periods. The duration of life's growth is governed partly

Statisticians and Other Liars

Companionate Hallucinations

by heredity and it is partly under our own control. It is stunted by forced work without rest or marginal recreation. It is promoted by wholesome living and deliberately cultivated interests. It is interfered with by routine duties without a break. If we are to keep on growing "inside" we must retain the habit of doing unhabitual things. Doing such unhabitual things, curiously, "because there's fun in it," is the first move toward getting at least one mired limb out of the rut. Delightedly you'll find every such change rests and benefits you. Take a mental inventory of yourself, and if you find you are getting rut-bound, make a sharp turn, back up, or do whatever else will free you in the shortest time. You can't afford to stay in a rut.

hold. We suspect that some screwball statIstICIan followed a simpler and less fatiguing method . All he had to do was take a small sample of the total population and by multiplication project his findings to the stagger' ing total indicated above. You, too, can invent a similar or entirely contradictory statistic. Quizz your maiden aunt (who never caught a fish in her life), the gal cashier at the lunch counter, the blind news vendor at the corner, and the pastor of your church. Project their replies to cover 97 million adults, and you will make the startling discovery that no adult in this country has ever caught a two-pound fish!

C"..9~

A RE YOU, too, annoyed and made suspicious by quoted f i statistics? Our favorite columnist in a recent issue of Quote, quoted an unbelievable statistic by Lawrence Galton, in an American Magazine article: "Twenty-eight and a half million men and eleven million and a half women, in a recent survey, said they had caught at least one fish weighing two pounds or more." To our capacious nostrils, too, that assertion smells as fishy as anything we have inhaled lately. To get an affirmative response to almost any question it would be necessary to interview virtually ALL of the 97 million adults in the U. S. Not even Uncle Sam's Census Bureau attempts to interview more than one person in a house-

C"..9~

T

HE OBVIOUSLY illuminated gentleman settled himself comfortably in a smoking car seat. Beside him he placed with tender care one of those traveling bags with a screen window in each end, used for transporting dogs and cats. Ever and anon he would peek into the bag, which presumably housed some pet animal. The curiosity of his seat mate opposite became intolerable. "Sir, would you mind telling me what animal you have in that satchel ?" " 'S a mongqosh," the owner answered, amiably but somewhat thickly. "Know what a mongoosh is?" Yes, he had read about the mongoose, a sort of oriental ferret. "But tell me, why do you carry it mongoose around with you ?" "Well, you shee it's thish way," he replied, lowering his voice to a confidential whisper. "Sometimes I am

Beginnings of a Private Bank

peshtered by snakes when I drink too much . I don't like shnakes. Sho when they come around I turn the mongoosh loose an' he kills 'em!" "But surely you know that the snakes you think you see are imaginary," protested his listener. The bibulous traveler giggled as he flipped open the window of the bag, which proved to be entirely untenanted, and replied: "Sho's the mongoosh!"

The Blind Weaver A blind boy stood beside the loom And wove a fabric. To and fro Beneath his firm and steady touch He made the busy shuttle go.

"-"~

of long ago starting a bank was a very simple matter. About all one needed was a vacant store room, a counter, a safe of some kind, and the leisure and patience to sit around and wait for trusting depositors to come in and open accounts. An old man who had operated one of these private banks in a prosperous rnral community, was asked how he happened to become a banker. "It was this way," he explained. "I was left to hold the bag in a land development scheme, with no assets but the ollice fixtures. Not having much to do just then I decided to go into the banking business, so I had 'BANK' painted in big letters over the front. The very next day after the sign was up, a man came in and deposited a hundred"dollars. The second day another man dropped in and handed over two hundred and fifty dollars. Well, sir, do you know, that set me to thinking right serioU5ly, and before closing time on the third day I had worked up confidence enough in the institution to put in a hundred dollars myself!"

I

And oft the Teacher passed that way And gave the colors, thread by thread; But to the boy the pattern fa ir Was all unseen-its hues we re dead .

N THE DAYS

,

"How can yau weave?" we, pitying, cried; The blind boy smiled, "I do my best; I make the fabric firm and strong, And one who sees does all the rest. " Oh, happy thought! Beside Life's loom We blindly strive our best to do, And He who marked the pattern out, And holds the threads, will make it true. Author Unknown.

1