insidepoetry Insidetime April 2013

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Star Poem of the Month

First Impressions The Little Neutrino HMP Littlehey

First time in, just seen my cell It doesn’t look too bad Table, telly, en-suite loo It’s all my little pad I look outside the window I stop, admire the view Exercise yard, it’s down below We can go outside too! Not been inside before It’s all new to me Room’s bit small, but it will do First thing, let’s have a pee There I am, stood at the bog Then suddenly comes, “Hello!” I think, ‘Who’s this strolled in?’ To stop me in mid-flow “I’m your pad mate, bruv, And you can call me Fred, You can have the upper bunk, The bottom one’s my bed.” “Pad mate? Pad mate? What do you mean, just strolling in my room?” “These cells are doubled up.” My good thoughts turned to gloom. I know I’ve got to be inside Because I have done wrong But sharing this with someone else! How can we get along?

“You’ll be okay with windows wide, I go to bed at half past ten, The remote control, it stays with me, We got that straight, then.” He’s built just like a shithouse And over six feet four And must be over twenty stone Completely fills the door He belches loudly, twice And then lets out a fart “Sorry, mate, it’s just me guts.” It’s not a brilliant start “Put your clothes down there” He points beneath the bed “My last cell mate put his there, Before they found him dead.” He then turned on the hi-fi Cranked it to number ten “You love rap music, don’t you? It’s made for real men.” “I’m a lifer mate,” he said “Been inside since ’02, GBH on loads of blokes, Killed some others too.” And now here I sit I’m writing on my bed A quick note to you, Mum Say hello to Uncle Ted But now I see my cellmate That great enormous bear Work away with knitting needles As he sits upon his chair Everyone has funny ways – I know that I’ve got mine – Don’t rely on first impressions I’m sure we’ll get on fine!

Congratulations to The Little Neutrino HMP Littlehey - who wins our £25 prize for ‘Star Poem of the Month’.

Keep Waiting

MJ - HMP Polmont I keep waiting for something; I keep waiting for the inevitable I long to reach the destiny, that we’re all eventually meant to I look forward to the promise, that one day I’ll be liberated And achieve freedom, from within and beyond what’s estimated While anticipating I hesitate, since we fear what we don’t know I can’t predict the results of my outcome, so I’m unsure where I’ll go

A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness.

Emotion Lisa Smith - HMP Holloway Looking out of my cell window See a reflection of my past Tormented by my feelings Don’t want this pain to last I will miss the little detail Your cute and smiling face Your eyes so full of innocence The way you have such grace The smell of dewy grass Is a sure sign time has passed Another month done in prison My times here seems quite harsh

Time

Tat2 Bob - HMP Chelmsford I’m in my cell when darkness falls I read the writing on the walls Names of lads, that were here before Totting up their final score Days gone past and yet to come Writing letters home for fun I gaze out the window to count the stars But my view is obstructed by iron bars I turn around, I see the floor Four stone walls and a big steel door Then I ask myself Why did I do it, ‘What was it for?’

The day fills the air with sunshine And blue clouds in the sky Never did I think the day would come Now it’s time to say goodbye So here I am my baby Waiting by the clocks Until the day I’m home with you And they undo the locks

Forever Makes Me Cry Keith Connell - HMP Frankland Never say ‘I love you’ If you really don’t care Never talk about feelings If they aren’t really there Never hold my hand If you’re going to break my heart Never say you’re going to... If you don’t plan to start Never look into my eyes If all you see are lies... Never say ‘hi’ If you really mean goodbye If you really mean forever Then say you will try Never say forever Coz forever makes me cry...

Drowning

Adam Rooke - HMP Parc Like a pebble on the beach I sit and wait For the sea to come in And take my fate Washing me away Are out to sea This heavy sea-tide Is too big for me Away I go It’s time for me to leave I’m sinking to the bottom I cannot breathe I close my eyes And hold my last breath I wish my life was different As I reach my deepest depth

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Supplement Runner Up

If you would like to contribute to the Poetry section, please send your poems to ‘Poetry’, Inside Time, Botley Mills, Botley, Southampton, Hampshire SO30 2GB.

Thank You

Living in a Shoe Journeyman - HMP Blundeston

Bola Ajadi - HMP Northumberland

She with the funny shoes, it’s our blonde bombshell teacher, Heidi 44 years young from Suffolk, boy doe she let it be We take the piss out of her funny shoes, it gives us a laugh We rib her about them, she laughs at herself by half

Thank you to my mum For telling me I’m bad Thank you to my dad For always getting angry and mad

They are a deterrent to muggers and the opposite sex People could be forced to throw coins at her at best Security guards could follow her in store as she looks shady But joking aside she is a wee cracker, an incredible lady

Up There Ellison - HMP Lincoln All the sky’s got tonight Is a full minty moon And a single star That’s fallen Off it It’s bright out there And calm Except for Some conniving bastard’s radio Giving it Tin Rattle For all its worth Like it’s in cahoots With a jealous hidden Sun trying... Trying to put folk off Admiring The moon And it’s time for bed The whole sky sighs And the moon Thinks ‘Whatever next’ Congratulations to Ellison - HMP Lincoln - whose poem wins our £15 prize for ‘Supplement Runner Up’.

I See Too Much Nicholas Moore - HMP Ranby Lines, angles and circles in the corner I see too much The writing on the wall I see too much Colours illuminate through the window I see too much Shade that doesn’t fade Ageing in the night I see too much I close my eyes I see too much

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She is endearing and laid back and has a wicked sense of humour A devil-may-care attitude; you’ve got to hand it to her She has such a positive outlook, all a teacher should be She would make watching paint dry interesting for no fee She’s taught us parenting, diversity and equality and more Only once have I seen her lose it with cocky Bobby to the core She doesn’t suffer fools gladly but makes a lot of time for you She likes a good laugh like the rest of us, she’s not blue A first class teacher with an art degree and hairdresser She’s cool and easy going but takes for no messers I’m looking for a pretty lady aged 25-35 with bearing years Could do a lot worse than find one like Heidi and go out for a few beers

Here Comes the Dark

Slipped Away

Richard James - HMP Stafford

Wayne Turnbull - HMP Forest Bank

Here comes the dark And with the quiet A time when noise dies And silence runs riot Here comes the dark That brings the ticking clock That counts off hours With soft ticks and subtle tocks Here comes the dark And the long wait for light When dawn takes an age And there’s no end to the night Here comes the dark When the panic sets in When all seems lost And hope seems thin Here comes the dark Where the world seems to end And there’s nothing I wouldn’t give To talk to a friend Here comes the dark When my thoughts start to race And the life I once knew Vanishes without a trace Here comes the dark And with it, the quiet A time when noise dies And silence runs riot

Sat in my pad Feeling alone and down Thinking of times outside I was the town clown Nobody could touch me A real ‘jack the lad’ Getting on the bevys Then ending up mad Now in the morning Wake and get my brew pack Work all day for next to nothing Then I hit the sack Friends forget you exist No visits or mail Can’t wait for the day That I can set sail Watch all the lads Bullying to get kicks Whilst I make photo frames Out of little matchsticks It’s a race to the washer When weekend comes Waiting for my clothes to clean Just twiddling my thumbs This is what you get When you let yourself slip Sat in Forest Bank Just doing my rip

Thank you to the social services For taking away my home Thank you to the orphanage That made me scared and alone Thank you to the older kids That beat me up each day Thank you to peado staff That took my childhood away Thank you to the girl That got me on crack Thank you to the boy That got me selling his smack Thank you to the police That fabricated my evidence Thank you to the court For believing their ‘intelligence’ Thank you to the prison For my rehabilitation Thank you to prospective employers For victimisation Thank you to my landlord For increasing my rent Thank you to the charity That bought my tent Thank you to the passer-by That found me dead Thank you to the morgue For the metal bed Thank you to society For making my pain go away And a special thanks to the Angels For letting me play

insidepoetry Voices from prison Copies are available at a special discount price of £7.50 +£1 p&p for Inside Time readers, family & friends. Inside Time, Botley Mills, Botley, Southampton, Hampshire SO30 2GB Tel: 0844 335 6483

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If you would like to contribute to the Poetry section, please send your poems to ‘Poetry’, Inside Time, Botley Mills, Botley, Southampton, Hampshire SO30 2GB.

Who are you?

Brian Franklin-Thames Calipatria State Prison USA

I Am Motion

Nicolas Briggs - HMP Castle Huntly I’m like rolling waves crashing against a sea wall at high tide I’m like a perpetually spinning coin, a true Gemini Complex like hieroglyphic text, a man with two sides In the physical plane I’m a hopeless con doing so long You’d think I robbed a life But in my mind when I close my eyes I can’t help but smile Coz every time I picture myself I’m always soaring through skies It’s just this inflated ego of mine that kept my spirit alive When by now by rights it should’ve shrivelled and died What can I say I’m a hopeless romantic? Forever the optimistic Poetic without the justice Forever lost-in-this Cold wasteland – I’m hostage Surely there must be a cost-to-this Like no one man could remain so positive Well my secret’s this I’m like a tectonic plate ready to shift Break, vibrate and create a major earthquake Gifted with so much potential energy haters can’t help but hate I’m like a magnet coiled spring A viper recoiling before it strikes and sinks its fangs in A jack still in the box, full of adrenalin Than a fox that just outwitted the dogs And I stay forever young Like I got the power to stop clocks And regardless of the hate I receive From men who believe they are better I still know underneath I am better than them And I still do more laughing than crying A lot more smiling than sighing Truth is I’m not just soaring I’m flying

I don’t want to fight you Much less want to kill you Show me that you feel me I’ll show you that I feel you Soften up your words Offer up a blessin’ There’s more than one way To teach someone a lesson We’re sprinkled on this earth In every single nation Need a drought of hate and pain A flood of love precipitation To all my Black People Sometimes I wanna cry You know damned well We don’t really need to die By a bullet, by a knife By a husband, by a wife By a friend, by a foe By folks you don’t even know By liquor, by dope By sex, false hope Every day is the same We oughta all be ashamed But guess what, my People Here’s what I’m gonna do I’ll tell you what I really think Of you You’re blessed, you’re wise (That’s girls, and guys) You show love (sometimes belated) You spread peace, premeditated You’re strong, you’re smart In hard times you show heart You’re educated and creative Goal driven and innovative You’re well-spoken, and organised Don’t you dare believe the lies! You’re wonder in strength and fears (See, now you’ve me shedding tears) You show compassion and concern You can teach and you can learn If you don’t feel how I feel I promise that one day you will Exhibit greatness in all you do Now, go love yourselves I love you, too

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Psy-Cle

Abu Raihan - HMP Pentonville Life tough, time hard Steel doors, prison bars Cell workouts Working out psychological scars Livid living in cycle Living a life like this Special occasions not spent with the family Eid, Ramadan gone without a miss Around in circles it’s insanity Talks of perfect bliss Illusionist making chase delusion Facing prison walls barb wires Left asking, what is this? Caught up in the world’s whirlwind What’s the purpose? What’s the worse? Judge slams me with I.P.P Says I am a danger to the public No emotion No remorse Moving broad, standing tall Yet to see the pots of gold 4 x 4 foot cells shared by different races Different ages Young and old Life tough, time hard Steel doors, prison bars Cell workouts Working out psychological scars Taking sanctuary in a place No future, no hope So I turn to the Lord Sanctioned with education For a future prepared on the road Qualification N.R.S.W.A Stratford 2012 Olympics at sight 18th May 2011 the fight of my life Preparation, life experience Would only see me Through the night Back in jail psyching Out this psychotic cycle Is it right? Questioning the justice system Pulling through with wit and might Revolting, uprising Autumn riots I know the reasons Constant cycle back in prison Seen the seasons Life tough, time hard Steel doors, prison bars Cell workouts Working our psychological scars

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If you would like to contribute to the Poetry section, please send your poems to ‘Poetry’, Inside Time, Botley Mills, Botley, Southampton, Hampshire SO30 2GB.

Supplement Runner Up

Winson Green Barz Sohail Ali - HMP Hewell

This is jail, on remand and they won’t give bail Miss my family and my girl I’m rolling in the deep like Adele Used to roll in the streets raising hell And if I scream for help no one’s gonna hear me yell Yo I’m in the green but I’m feeling blue When I’m getting out I don’t have a clue We’re like animals trapped in the zoo And man looking at me like I’m the s**t on their shoe But f**k it Ima ride this bird like I ride them b***hes So don’t disturb and mind your business I smoke high grade while you’re breathing English Yea but I’ve lost my mind, all I can see is four walls, what’s my name? Someone please tell me what’s my name I’m trapped and these screws are loose Get it, them screws are loose I’ve lost my appetite so when it comes to food I refuse Keep telling them I’m gonna self harm But they telling me to stay calm Ima convict like Akon, on remand for three months Dunno how much more I can take with these c*nts Giving me the eye but I don’t give them a response Just counting the days Disrespect is been thrown around that much you might as well spit in my face But if you do that, I’ll have you gunned down like 2 Pac Batty man smelling like tuna But I’m still locked up wishing death would come sooner Gotta snap out of it and stay focused, make progress But the life I’m living is worse than the Romans And as I look out the window I know it’s hopeless Fences twenty foot tall I ain’t joking, escape is impossible still it’s tempting But there’s barbed wire surrounding the fences Been here ten days and it feel like centuries The food is vile so my stomach is empty Screws giving it the large, and there’s still a pain aching in my heart Gotta stay focused, gotta stay calm Theres a lot of haters tryna be smart but when it gets dark Is when it gets hard, like Bruno Marz I feel like a grenade ready to go off Life is tough, I’ve had enough, we’re all criminal minded but we gotta stop All in a similar crisis, and when I shop I don’t look at the prices I took a chance in life when I rolled the dices This prison’s old school like the Vikings, close your eyelids You don’t wanna see this bit, got about two waste men left on my hit list It’s almost Christmas but they got me locked up in the Winson First birthday in prison, man I wish I would’ve listened To my mom back then but I wouldn’t, thought I was a big man but I wasn’t They say life’s a b***h and death is her cousin But I say life’s a d**k and I’m its victim, listen I used to say life was easy until they took my freedom So I turned to religion Praying five times a day now couldn’t give a f**k about your opinion Congratulations to Sohail Ali - HMP Hewell - whose poem wins our £15 prize for ‘Supplement Runner Up’.

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Loneliness

Alex Carr - HMP Holme House I used to get so lonely Hated being on my own And when I was with my friends I’d feel like I was home Times change, as do friends And I’m alone today But eventually I realised Like everything else Loneliness fades away

Banged Up Behind Green Peter Hooper - HMP Stafford Nightmare in store Sisters cry at front door Police car bangs shut Wrapped naked in poncho Guilt I freely sup First time banged up To Magistrates Court Crown Justice is sought Banged up behind brown No bail, onto jail Banged up a ‘VP’ They’ll bully me Reception nurse cares “Because you’re worth it”, she shares Banged up behind blue Cell mate wants ‘burn’ Coffee I yearn Banged up with no voice Spirits crumple within Public deaths begin Banged up with my sin Police photo in press “Please hear me confess” Banged up with hate “Tomorrows chip-papers, my dear” Inmates and officers bend my ear Banged up with fear In Chapel, remorse by God’s Law Get hit on the jaw Banged up for sport In crown with my shroud Friends and family cry out loud Reporters sharpen their guillotine “Banged up for five” Television lies dramatise No future hope is their guise Can’t cope with the woe Wing Listeners make me grow Wisdom softens the blow Get work in the garden My skin begins to harden New truth for this pen... ... Those haters were obscene This cell door is my screen Banged up behind Green

An Insider and the Spider K G Harding - HMP Frankland A spider took up residence And the honest truth to tell As company he wasn’t much In my lonely prison cell But Mother Nature did decree That together we should dwell Until the day death would us part With no tolling funeral bell He did intrude into my life Without even a by your leave? I watched him as he spun his web Producing silk – like threads to eave I could have stopped him, there and then From the building of his kingdom But something touched me, deep inside It was envy of his freedom The spider made me concentrate On matters that did relate To crime and punishment and fate Plus other things to contemplate Which led to thoughts of going straight After my release from the prison gate And for this I thanked the spider Now read words from an insider... Before a crime you undertake Think twice about it, hesitate Then on these words please meditate Roads leading to the prison gate Are signposted by greed and rate Do you wish this to be your fate? Your horizons? Make them wider! Sincerely yours, an insider.

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If you would like to contribute to the Poetry section, please send your poems to ‘Poetry’, Inside Time, Botley Mills, Botley, Southampton, Hampshire SO30 2GB.

I’m Begging You to Stop Maryann Willoughby - HMP Holloway You make me feel sick Especially now I have a memory of you Smashing me with a brick I laid in bed, tears rolling down my face Shaking and not knowing when my next Beating is coming One day I tried running but when you caught me The beatings got worse You even stole the money out of my purse Every single day for ten months You’d call me worthless A no one and a tramp Then you beat ten bells of sh*t out of me Pretending I was your personal punching bag But now I have bad dreams And the amount of tears I’ve cried I could have filled a million streams

Frustration

When I was a right young lad My father said to me: Seems to me tha’s growin’ up Now what’s tha goin to be? Jail’s not the answer Now it all depends upon thyself It’s only up to thee I won’t say much to thee ageean But tek a tip from me ‘Ear all, see all, say nowt Ate all, sup all, pay nowt It’s a long time, remember From January to December So ‘ear all, see all, say nowt Ate all, sup all, pay nowt And in prison if thy does summat for nowt Always do it for theeself

I can’t take it, I’ve had enough of the pain Slowly but surely it’s driving me insane With thoughts and feelings I never knew I had Please help me God, I’m going mad An IPP prisoner with no end in site Trying not to think about it, with all my might Always attending my sentence planning board But everyone knows it’s a double edged sword Ticking boxes for the government to see What a waste of money this can be They fob you off at ~OMU With all the courses they want you to do To lower your risk is what you are told May I ask how if I’m not being too bold Do the courses that fit your crime Now go away and do your time Anger management, Focus, Calm and TSP Can’t you see the effect it’s had on me? To progress you through to a lower category jail And start again with the same old tale The judge gave me a tariff which I’ve had to do I’ve completed the courses and my sentence has flew Still you won’t send me to an open jail I’ve done your courses, how could I fail My patience is becoming ever so thin And to explain myself where would I begin I’ve gone past my tariff, does no one care? Trying to think of the future if I dare Depressed and stress with no hope of being free Can’t you see how it’s affecting me? With thoughts of sadness and suicide You might not think it, but I have my pride So Mr Government man, sit up and take heed And look at IPP prisoners and what they need Give me a chance in a category D Jail So I can prove to you that I will not fail With a sense of freedom and a little hope To me and my family this is no joke Or set me free to prove you wrong Within the community where I belong

Alan Wright - HMP/YOI Moorland Closed

Yassine El Alaoui - HMP Bullwood Hall Hi, I am a serving prisoner Locked in a shoebox so called a cell My life now is in the hands of the governor They’ve changed my name to ‘Foreign National’ And told me ‘your release date is exceptional’

Riding the White Horse

My daughter keeps wondering where is daddy? Daddy is fighting hard to get tag Only to be told that’s impossible even if you beg I look back and see my life It was like heaven on this land I am feeling guilty and sorry For taking it with my own hands

“Come ride the white horse”, the horse dealer cried, “You’ll have a great trip”, he always lied The first rides for free, those words the trick So I rode off on its back but later felt sick The next time I saw him, I asked for his horse I wanted a ride, and he said of course, he charged me Twenty quid, this seemed kinda mean But I rode to heaven where I’d never been

Dazzled and confused, I remember I was always amused I try to dream about freedom if I could When I open my eyes I am still in the same place My freedom seems so far it’s like reaching space

When the journey was over, the horse brought me back To a new HELL on earth, where I needed more smack So I saw the horse dealer, and begged him for more My ride and twenty quid, cost me to score Fixed up once more, to heaven I rode I tried chasing it, cost me a pot of gold White horses cost plenty, and more money had gone So I stole for my habit, although it was wrong

I should have known before Now that I wake up tired and sore Not to break the law no more!

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My Father Said To Me

The Foreign Prisoner

Why have I put myself in this situation? All my family is awaiting an explanation! Sorry my life was full of temptations I needed this time to taste sour flavours

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Chris Perry - HMP Stafford

In prison, white horse ain’t allowed in So I shivered and grew sick, and my body turned thin This is the story of my horse riding days Now all I’m left with is a memory haze “You can ride the white horse, but ride it well Because the white horse will ride you to HELL”

Dave Hall - HMP Wakefield

Next month we revert to the usual poetry section, we will award a prize of £25 to the entry selected as our ‘Star Poem of the Month’. To qualify for a prize, poems should not have won a prize in any other competition or been published previously. Send entries to: Inside Time, Poetry, Botley Mills, Botley, Southampton, Hampshire, SO30 2GB. Please put your name, number and prison on the same sheet of paper as your poem. If you win we can’t send your money if we don’t know who or where you are! By submitting your poems to Inside Time you are agreeing that they can be published in any of our ‘not for profit links’, these include the newspaper, website and any forthcoming books. You are also giving permission for Inside Time to use their discretion in allowing other organisations to reproduce this work if considered appropriate, unless you have clearly stated that you do not want this to happen. Any work reproduced in other publications will be on a ‘not for profit’ basis. WHEN SUBMITTING YOUR WORK PLEASE INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING PERMISSION: THIS IS MY OWN WORK AND I AGREE TO INSIDE TIME PUBLISHING IT IN ALL ASSOCIATE SITES AND OTHER PUBLICATIONS AS APPROPRIATE.

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If you would like to contribute to the Poetry section, please send your poems to ‘Poetry’, Inside Time, Botley Mills, Botley, Southampton, Hampshire SO30 2GB.

Supplement Runner Up

Once hanging bags of skin Turned soft and silken cushions on which I dreamt And in the pride I felt at helping her Accept the belly curves which called to be kissed I thought in my arrogance To stroke away the pains And soothe her aching bones With the intensity of my love And for a while I almost succeeded With years not months ‘tween crises But we always feared it would return She lives with sickle It waits patiently – to slice – into – her body

Croydon Registry Office: 1st March 1990 Christopher Alker - HMP Swaleside I asked Marcy to send my photographs Of the day on which we married Yet when they came I didn’t recognise The fat guy in the suit The one who gazed dopey proud cow eyed in love Why do I find her face so hard to bear? Those lips and eyes which smile her hope Tonight those eyes will close alone in sleep Just one of three thousand Tiny punishments I pin-prickle through her life Today – the men I live within this place Smile at her just grown beauty Call her a sweet little slip of a thing Trace bosom and buttocks Say – so soft so striking – such cheekbones – so sexy But for me those sultry alluring bones Don’t promise a life of kisses The disease she carries had branded her So that across the room I could count her ribs through tight stretched hazel skin I think my love had helped her put on weight Filling out her little boy’s bum Into wide woman’s hips to match her breasts

So I struggled on thinking I had to buy her love That she stayed only for the care But my crime fills her life with pain and shame I ask you – how does she remain my wife And proffer such an undeserved devotion On a day over twenty years ago A woman looking like a girl Had dressed for her marriage in white and green A half starved body which She shackled to a man in an old school tie On a day over a decade ago A woman looking terrified Was pulled from her bed by officers Her naked body help As weeping she was handcuffed for her husband’s crime On one day each week when Marcy is well In pain she will rise from her lonely bed To take the pain killer she needs To get her through the day Living with sickle and not her husband She waits for the carer to help her dress Takes taxi train and bus Puts up with the affront Of rough questing hands searching her body And clothes just in case she is smuggling drugs Past guards paid to keep her husband and her apart And still finds love enough to smile in joy At the imprisoned man who offers her his heart

Congratulations to Christopher Alker - HMP Swaleside - whose poem wins our £15 prize for ‘Supplement Runner Up’.

The Voice

Kyfer Evans - HMP Birmingham You’re stuck in my head and I can’t get you out You put me down and fill me with doubt I tell you to go away You say no you’re just gonna stay You wake me up at night with a proper fright I am getting used to you now so I just say night They gave me drugs to try keep you away But that didn’t work so I guess you’re here to stay

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Like Waterfalls

Martin Campbell - HMP Buckley Hall She had wonderful blue eyes Raspberry red lips, just ripe for kissing She talked in a nice mellow voice We’d spend hours looking into the sky Time together was so peaceful It was like floating on water But like waterfalls

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disappeared.

You Say You Love Your Man Maria Oliver - HMP East Sutton Park You say you love your man Then you cheat behind his back You criticise him Nag the hell out of him At every moment you get Then you fuss and fret Have deep regret When he leaves And doesn’t come back again What a shame You say you love your man Yet you can’t be arsed to cook for him You don’t give a damn about him No wonder he is getting so thin Go out on the hustle and all Then you get upset when he doesn’t call Stays out alone Then even refuses to come back home You say you love your man You don’t iron his shirts Get his suit dry cleaned No time to massage his back Neglect to give him praise You are so nasty in your ways You screw up your face and pout When he wants to make love You turn up your nose and strike a pose Then you get curious and furious When he winks at another chick You say you love your man Yet you gossip behind his back Cannot take the time to hem his slacks Many times you’ve even given him a smack When he does something good for you You say that’s not what you asked for, needed Or even wanted Girl, you need to think Do you really love you man? If so get your act together now And stop treating him like dirt Coz very soon he’ll be coming home With lipstick on his shirt

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If you would like to contribute to the Poetry section, please send your poems to ‘Poetry’, Inside Time, Botley Mills, Botley, Southampton, Hampshire SO30 2GB.

15 to 24

Roy Short - HMP Stocken These are the boots My dad walked about in Always working hard Fixing things and painting He’s always doing jobs Popping in and out of his shed Busy cutting the grass Whilst the sun burns his head These are the boots That my dad wore Working all day and night Till his back was sore He’d wear these boots When my bike needed mending Even cleaning the windows Stretching and bending

Michael Irwin - HMP Magilligan

At 15 I walked through that door biting my lip, wondering what’s the score How have I, a kid so young ended my life before it begun? A childish crime I thought at the time But GBH Sec 18 is not funny now When I came to jail I wasn’t old enough to buy a pack of fags Or legal to have sex Yet now at 24 I look back at the years I’ve lost and think why Everything and everyone I’ve ever loved is gone My friends all grown up with families of their own I’m no longer a person, just a memory from the past People ask if I’ve ever feared prison And I say no but after nearly ten years behind the door I fear going home more and more People don’t understand but I came in a boy And will leave a man I’ve sent letters to women jails to find a woman who can love And stand by a man like me I have nothing to give in ways of gold But I offer three things One I never lie, two I would never hurt them, three I’ll love her for life Now to me that’s worth more than gold I’m an IPP now over tariff, one of four thousand kept in a cage Watching my age grow and my youth die As a tear rolls down my cheek and the ice cold floor pressed against my feet Sinking slowly but surely into my seat I’m six foot two, mixed race begging to share my love Yet all I share is a cell with Steve

H M F**king P! A.D - HMP Winchester

My dad wore these boots When cleaning the car And taking me to school Which is not very far

Someone please tell me What’s the point in jail? They say that it’s punishment To me punishment means bail!

Whilst fixing the fence Or cutting some wood There in his boots My lovely dad stood

Three meals a day And a roof over my head No bills, no pressure I just lie on my bed

He took me to school And kissed me goodbye I’ve not seen him since Which makes me cry

So again I ask: What is the point? Surely it would be better If I was out of the joint

I keep his work boots Beside my bed Thoughts of him wearing them Around in my head

Working, paying taxes Actually earning my keep Not costing the country millions For somewhere to sleep

I can’t wait to see him And show him I’ve grown If I could make a wish I’d bring him back home

Just give me that chance I’m sure most would agree There must be a better way Than H M F**KING P!!!

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The Great UK Con

Joseph Samuel - HMP Parkhurst

My Dad’s Boots

insidepo

Smack

Carl Mason - HMP Manchester Disowned by my own mum She put drugs before her son Her eyes are red and glazed And her hair has greyed with age She is always confused And her arms are always bruised She ain’t been my mum for years Since she started on the gear Always in her home She’s got a brand new family of her own They sit upon her bed They’re like the living dead They take all that she can give How much longer shall she live It feels like she already died But it’s just she’s dead inside All I can offer her is love But it’s never been enough Believe me I have tried But it always just gets denied I cannot turn a blind eye And I will not live a lie I miss you mum

It’ll get better Once you get to prison Gatwick customs said Goodbye sunshine I said It’ll get better Once you sober up The solicitor said Goodbye vice I said It’ll get better Once you get to ‘F’ wing The committal officer said Goodbye identity I said It’ll get better Once you tell the truth The barrister said Goodbye freedom I said It’ll get better Once you get convicted The old hand said Goodbye she said It’ll get better Once you get a real jail The Brixton Governor said Goodbye my friend I said It’ll get better Once your confiscations done My ‘B’ cat pal said Goodbye the estate agent said It’ll get better Once you get back home paddy Everyone said Goodbye England I said It’ll get better Once you get to Magilligan Maghaberry security team said Goodbye hellhole I said It’ll get better Once you get ‘C’ cat The teacher said Goodbye hope I said It’ll get better Once you get ‘D’ cat Offender manager said Goodbye scrutiny I said It’ll get better Once you’re out Probation said Goodbye system I said It’ll get better Once you’re home My family said Goodbye home I said It’s getting better now No thanks to the system The academic said What lies ahead I said

Insidetim

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If you would like to contribute to the Poetry section, please send your poems to ‘Poetry’, Inside Time, Botley Mills, Botley, Southampton, Hampshire SO30 2GB.

A Prisoner’s Tale Stephen Donald - HMP Castle Huntly A Valentine! What’s that? A verbal uttering within my breath A crazy notion in my head A feeling of despair and dread For a valentine that’s gone – it’s said And as I sit upon my bed Thoughts are racing through my head Cell talk and rumours are a deadly breed They cast aside with a wanton greed And tear your heart with utmost speed But pen and card sit on my desk So carefully I begin to verse My love my life be true to me This time will pass for you and me So please my love wait for me The prison mail has arrived To tell the tale of those outside A card a letter oh so dear For those of us who live in fear My valentine please be here! With trembling legs I approach the desk Oh God! What pain inside my chest Then in my hand, a card is pressed I turn and run across the hall And wildly stumble into my cell A valentine for all to see A joyous verse from her to me She loves me more than words can say Those rumours now can go away My life begins again today

Goodbye My Friend Rachel - HMP Send

Ridiculed, victimised, depression wearing you down I knew you were falling, did not know you’d drown Completely in your sorrow, sadness and fears Too much loss and hurt over the years No escape from this was worth sacrificing When the level of pain of grief kept on rising Abuse, cheating, death and loves lost You paid for your crime, but, in the end it cost Much more than time served, you eventually fell Couldn’t see a way out of the clutches of hell It’s your right to say goodbye to this world Death is peaceful and quiet; we’re told Maybe your passing has not been in vain Maybe those close will learn from your pain What goes around will always come back again Maybe it was your karma that stole you my friend I just pray wherever your soul chooses to rest Will be surrounded with love, peace and happiness

insidepo

etry

Mr Sick Note

Anthony Paskin - HMP Hewell My Dorm mate he really takes the biscuit He never gets out of his bed He spends all day fast asleep He only wakes to get fed He will get up at the crack of dawn Only to be the first one in Healthcare Anything to get out of work I guarantee he will be aware They call him Mr Sick Note He’s on one all the time He’ll spend his sentence in the hospital if he could What he gets away with should be a crime But no one know just how he does get away with it It’s got to be a conspiracy before the fact He limps around on both of his legs He can really put on an act When you see the look on his face In so much pain he cries We all know it’s a put on But will Healthcare ever get wise? Then one day a knock came on the Dorm He lifts his weary head looking so very tired An officer ordered him out his bed and on his feet Your ‘Sick Note’ has just expired

Ignorant Bliss

Leigh Williams - HMP Highpoint South I’m living in a dream But there’s always trouble When I can’t deal with my real life I just bring in a double It’s my life in two halves They’re welded together Two contradictory characters Together forever I have never just been me! I’m always something contrived Now I’m not even sure If the real me is alive It was necessary evil used only for defence But it’s become my undoing And now it don’t make any sense Is it now too late to turn back? I can’t even tell them apart They’re now woven so deep into my soul and my heart There’s two jigsaws with only one box No reason or rhyme Must I sort out the pictures Only one piece at a time? And If I can manage to put ‘em back together Would I like what I would see? And could I even make it alone with only one me? Do I really want the answers? Or is my ignorant bliss? And would I choose the right me Or the one that I miss?

Cold and Alone

Ray Bolton - HMP Usk The snow falls around me, it covers the ground Fluffy and virgin white it settles with no sound Jack Frost is coming, so I’m told Another night stood frozen, left out in the cold Sledges race past as all the children play Screams and laughter on a winter’s day How I wish I could run, and join in the fun But my body is frozen, legs and arms so numb I gaze upon them from coal black eyes They don’t see my sorrow, they cannot realise Around my neck is wrapped an unwanted scarf My only protection from snowballs as children laugh My presence depends on days bitter and cold The sun is danger so radiant and gold The heat beams down, it’s natures law Meltdown begins, it’s the dreaded thaw Children fade away, it’s the end of play Alone in the dark, the end of another day I hope I’ve expressed by the power of my pen The short cold lives of all snowmen

Thank You Daniel Joslin - HMP Thameside I thank the lord our savour for skipping The boring bits when he showed me The re-runs of my life story I thank that Swedish House Mafia tune For letting me know not to worry ‘Cause heavens got a plan for me It goes without saying I thank the Ministry of Justice For limiting my temptations I thank my ex missus for all her time and patience I thank that school boy bully That taught me how to man up I thank all those people that forgave and forgot I thank all that advice I received from my solicitor I thank that long lost friend for bothering To write me that letter I thank all when I’m late for a debt And they don’t take the piss But most of all I’d like to thank Each and every one of you For bothering to read this