ST. PATRICK’S PRIMARY SCHOOL 45 Belmont Street, Sutherland NSW 2232 Telephone: 9521 2163 Facsimile: 9521 2813 Email: [email protected]

POLICY TITLE: PASTORAL CARE POLICY (Reviewed September 2011, 2012, 2013) This policy is used in conjunction with the school’s Anti-bullying policy as well as suspension and expulsion policy. These policies are communicated to parents, students and staff via the following website: www.stpsutherland.catholic.edu.au Corporal punishment is expressly prohibited in this school. The school does not sanction administration of corporal punishment by school persons and non-school persons, including parents, to enforce discipline in the school. INTRODUCTION The Pastoral Care Policy at St Patrick’s Primary School, Sutherland has been developed within the guidelines issued by the Catholic Education Office within the Archdiocese of Sydney and is supported by Marist Youth Care Restorative Justice Practices. BELIEF STATEMENT/AIM At St Patrick’s we Grow in Christ through embracing and sharing in the new evangelising mission of the Catholic Church committed to the religious education and faith development of each child. At St Patrick’s we Grow in Christ through building a quality Catholic learning community strengthened by respectful relationships with students, teachers, parents, parish and the wider community. At St Patrick’s we Grow in Christ through nurturing the continuous development of the whole person and nourishing an active faith, integrity and Catholic values. RATIONALE A Catholic school is distinctive in its religious dimension that ‘endeavours to provide the Catholic community with a wide choice of high quality education for their children.’ St Patrick’s, as other Catholic schools in Sydney, share the vision of being committed to the development of the whole person within the education setting. St Patrick’s Primary School views education as a lifelong process which allows students to be nourished, nurtured and enables them to grow holistically: spiritually, intellectually, socially, emotionally and physically. Embedded within a community of believers, teachers and staff share in the evangelising mission of the Church. They highlight the relevance of the Catholic Faith to students’ lives and everyday culture. This policy aims to develop children to have high self esteem, be responsible, and capable of making informed, sensible choices and recognise their fundamental responsibilities. The staff of St Patrick’s Primary School foster the dignity, self esteem and integrity of each person. They collaborate with parents and jointly make decisions which are aimed to enhance student learning and behaviour. THREE GUIDING PREMISES Children and staff are expected to adhere to the following principles in order to create a happy and healthy learning environment:  Respect for Each Other  Respect for Learning  Respect for Safety These three notions are viewed as the three guiding rules within the school.

All members of our community (staff, children, parents, clergy and visitors) have the right to:  feel safe and happy  be treated with respect  have school, personal property and the environment respected  respect people and property in the wider community  learn in a positive environment Respecting each other involves forming positive relationships that show respect for the dignity of the human person and using good manners. Respecting learning involves participating actively in learning and being responsible for producing quality authentic work as well as contributing to an environment conducive to others learning. Respecting safety involves being responsible for safe and inclusive play, playing within school play areas, proper use of facilities, adhering to the “hands off” rule and STEWARDSHIP ST PATRICK’S STUDENT VALUES We, as students, help to show respect for learning by:  listening to the teacher and fellow students.  working to the best of our ability.  accepting the opinions and differences of others. We, as students, help to show respect for each other by:  treating others the way we like to be treated.  taking responsibility for our actions.  helping others. We, as students, show respect for safety by:  knowing our rights and responsibilities  listening and following all instructions by teachers.  reporting any unsafe practices or areas immediately. RESTORATIVE JUSTICE St Patrick’s Primary School has adopted the Marist Youth Care Restorative Justice approach to managing student behaviour and discipline. The Restorative Justice Program is a holistic school commitment to building and maintaining quality positive relationships. As a Catholic Primary School guided by the motto ‘Nourish, Nurture and Grow in Christ’, St Patrick’s Primary School endeavours to provide for each member of the community –students, parents staff and clergy – the experience of high quality interpersonal relationships of care and support. It is acknowledged that from time to time in any community, relationships can be damaged in various ways and to varying degrees. St. Patrick’s Primary School is a community that promotes the resolution of conflicts between community members and the restoration of relationships. The Restorative Justice Program at St. Patrick’s provides a framework within which this can be achieved. Restorative Justice at St. Patrick’s is based on the belief that when relationships are harmed by working with the students, teachers and parents involved these relationships can be restored. “I give a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also should love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13: 34 – 35) The Discipline Policy at St Patrick’s evolves from the Pastoral Care Policy in so far as each seeks to promote a respectful, secure and healthy environment in which students grow to be discerning, self – disciplined and contributing members of society. The Restorative Justice Policy at St Patrick’s is an essential element of the Pastoral Care Policy.

Restorative Justice provides a multi level approach to problem solving. While still providing limits and consequences, it looks for ways to repair the damaged relationships and improve existing relationships. The Restorative School believes in the "Three R's" - Relationships, Responsibility and Relevance. Restorative Justice aims to foster healthy and resilient school communities. Affective Questioning The Restorative Justice Program operates through the use of “Affective Questions”. Students, teachers and parents are asked to refer to these questions when addressing behaviour problems. By using this questioning technique it is hoped that the child with the help of teachers and parents can explore how to make things better and to prevent a reoccurrence of a similar situation in the future. Affective Questions: What happened? How did it happen? How did you act in this incident? Who do you think was affected? How were they affected? How were you affected? What needs to happen to make things right? If the same situation happens again, how could you behave differently? The Restorative Justice Program assists the student by:  embracing the values of compassion, forgiveness and inclusiveness.  enabling them to find the balance between control and appropriate boundaries through the use of free choice.  training students leaders who are highly motivated in how to problem solve and assist younger students and act as mentors for them. 

School students with extreme misbehaviour face all involved parties to confront the harm they have caused and the people they have affected. A plan of action is then devised to allow students to learn from their mistakes and to learn better ways of managing situations.

The Restorative Justice Program assists the teacher by:  providing teachers and middle managers with skills in techniques to resolve conflict and restore damaged relationships and how to interact with students following any misbehaviour.  developing skills in Restorative Mediation where there is unresolved conflict between a teacher and a student or a teacher and a teacher and providing opportunity to problem solve with students and parents. (Further skills are developed to manage difficult parent interviews.) 

providing a continuum of strategies offered is collaborative, outcomes based and future focused (Refer to Continuum of Strategies).



understanding the connection between of values compassion, forgiveness and inclusiveness, restorative practices and their own sense of spirituality as a teacher.

The Restorative Justice Program assists parents and the community by:  providing a multi level approach to problem solving,  enabling schools to manage student behaviour and interpersonal conflict in a restorative way ,  developing a Restorative culture that is committed to inclusiveness,  providing a model for restorative culture grounded in the Gospel values of compassion, forgiveness and inclusiveness. THE ROLE OF THE PARENTS Parents should be supportive of the school and teachers in their professional assessment of situations that occur at school. Children have a natural tendency to minimise their involvement and blame others, where as parents have a natural tendency to protect their children and see only the best.

Parents should inform teachers of any serious emotional problem that may cause their child to be upset. The child may require support rather than punishment. Parents should understand that these matters would be confidential. In maintaining a close relationship with their children, parents will need time for regular two-way conversations with both the teacher and their child for the development of positive relationships. Parents need to talk through personal expectations of their children as learners and their responsibilities to make the most of their learning. Parents concerned about a child should make an appointment to see their child’s teacher, before further interviews with the School Principal or the Assistant Principal. Parents will appreciate that they cannot talk to teachers who are teaching or supervising pupils. Parents must accept the final responsibility for the behaviour of their children. THE ROLE OF TEACHERS         

To consistently promote the Rights & Responsibilities of the members of the St Patrick’s community so students know their expected behaviour in the classroom, on the playground, and on school excursions. To instruct, promote, expect children to respect each other, respect learning and respect safety, in all situations. To affirm and encourage positive behaviour through the award system. Teachers will be aware of all children and their individual needs. Adhere to the strategies that need to be followed when students have engaged in inappropriate behaviour. Inform the Executive if serious misbehaviour is encountered. Inform the parents of all children, if serious misbehaviour has occurred. Be informed of Curriculum Incident Management Procedures. Teachers will accept responsibility for their own classroom management and follow uniform strategies to maintain consistency throughout the grade/school. (Refer to ‘Behaviours to Encourage and Behaviours to Avoid’).

MORE SERIOUS OFFENCES In regards to more serious offences the above policy is followed whilst also referring to, and following, the ‘Managing Students with Challenging Behaviours – Guidelines for Primary Schools’ document (CEO, Sydney, 2007). CYBER BULLYING Refer to CEO Documents SCHOOL COUNSELLOR: Staff can make referrals to the School Counsellor by filling out a School Counselling Referral Form located in the green folder in the staff room. The School Counsellor currently works every Tuesday. The Principal and/or Assistant Principal meet with the school counsellor on a regular basis. SEASONS FOR GROWTH: Seasons for Growth is a program for children, young people or adults who have experienced significant change or loss. Seasons for Growth is based on the belief that change, loss and grief are a normal and valuable part of life. We examine the impact of changes such as death, separation, divorce, and natural disaster upon our lives, and explore how we can learn to live with and grow from these experiences. The core intentions of this program are the development of resilience and emotional literacy to promote social and emotional wellbeing. The program is educational in nature and does not provide therapy. We use the imagery of the four seasons to illustrate that grief is cyclical, not a linear journey with a clear end. Trained “Companions” facilitate small groups where participants share their experiences, and support and learn from one another. Peer support is a key element of the program, and confidentiality is strongly emphasised.

Appendix 1

BEHAVIOURS TO ENCOURAGE Well-planned and appropriate classroom activities: Activities that are consistent with educational best practice and cater for the learning needs of the students in the class. Invariably some students misbehave in class when they are unable to complete the tasks that are set, or the tasks are not challenging or interesting. Positive classroom climate: Establishing a positive classroom climate, where students and teachers have good rapport and open lines of communication will prevent seemingly minor issues erupting into complaints that must be investigated. Students feel safe in relationships that have an appropriate balance of power. Actively work within the Pastoral Care Policies of the school: Different students will be more sensitive to different management styles and this is why it is so important for teachers to know their students and have a pastoral understanding of their individual circumstances. Non-confrontational strategies for dealing with misbehaviour: Effective conflict management skills can always be developed and this development is ongoing throughout a teacher’s career. Use of a calm, consistent voice tone and non-threatening language: The way in which students are addressed is equally as important as the words that are used. Students must be aware of the consequences of their actions, but this should be done in a manner that is not emotionally threatening, demeaning or leaves the student with the impression that there is no way to redeem the situation. Professional development: An ongoing commitment to professional development is critical. This can be in the areas of curriculum, management strategies and/or invigoration of professional and personal mission. Collegial networks: These networks are invaluable, especially those outside of the employing school and even system. It is important to seize opportunities to connect with colleagues whenever possible. Personal Care: It is important to seek assistance for personal matters that may carry into the workplace, giving the employer an opportunity to support staff members wherever possible. Empathy with all of the students in our care: All students are deserving of equal understanding and consideration. Giving students opportunity to evaluate the teacher: It is not always easy and not always possible, but from time to time it is valuable to hear what the children think of the work done by their teachers. Exercise common sense; Age and circumstances are very relevant. The safety of a child, or other children, may well require a responsible person to touch or restrain. In exercising judgement it is wise to err on the side of caution. Some principles might include ensuring that: i) every effort is made not to be alone with a student ii)

where possible teachers remain visible to other people when dealing with students

iii)

students are not dealt with behind closed doors.

Values and attitudes: It is important for all teachers to clarify their position on questions such as : What is my attitude to corporal punishment? How do children regard their ‘personal space’? What are my beliefs and attitudes about power relationships? What are my beliefs and attitudes about coercive relationships? What do I think of “children’s rights”? What is the “right to feel safe”? Is it really a right? How assertive do I want children to be?  Self-evaluation: A willingness to reflect on personal teaching style and being prepared to make changes if it is not entirely in line with current expectations are important aspects of the teaching profession.

Appendix 2 BEHAVIOURS TO AVOID

Personal comments: Comments about student’s physique, performance, family etc. can damage the relationship between teacher and student or they may be misinterpreted, even when well intended. Intimidating or threatening statements: Remarks of this nature towards students are not acceptable in any circumstance. Sarcasm is also a style of communication that can be easily misinterpreted by students. Physical contact with students: Physical contact with students is not acceptable except where it is necessary: a) as reasonable restraint to protect the student, other students or adults from harm, or b) as an open and observable gesture of nurturing where consent is given by the student. Most schools have some form of ‘hands off’ policy for students and this needs to be exemplified by the adults in the school community. Rules and consequences for actions that are disproportionate to the misbehaviour: Consequences need to be appropriate to actions. If a student has to go straight on to an out of school detention for talking too much in class, what strategies remain for the teacher when that student talks in class the next time? Name calling: Use of derogatory or ‘pet’ names when addressing students, teasing or withdrawal of praise are all practices that can damage the relationship between teachers and students. Excessively authoritarian style of classroom management: This model places the power entirely in the hands of the adult and can easily make a student feel unsafe.

Interactions that are likely to break trust; Those working in child-related occupations must always be aware that their interactions with students are based on a special trusting relationship and this relationship is open to great scrutiny..** Non-Platonic relationships between teachers and students are unacceptable, even if the student is 18 years of age. There is no denying that some children can misbehave, test our patience, or deliberately act out in class, but it is important to be dealing with these matters in ways that are compassionate and actually address the core issue, rather than in ways that are simply punitive in nature. There is never a valid reason for physically reprimanding a child or intimidating him/her with excessively aggressive language. Undoubtedly, we would all expect no less in the classroom management of a child in our own family or indeed in the treatment of ourselves as members of a school community.

Appendix 3 Language of Choice Language of choice is about giving the child some control over the outcomes but, as an adult, being in charge of the process and the structure within which you work. The adult also sets the choices and the boundaries. It is far more successful for a challenging student to have made their own decisions, arrived at their own conclusion and is faced with a known outcome, rather than simply telling them what to do - the ability to comply is much easier and leads to far less resentment. It is essential within this process to eliminate emotional involvement and avoid secondary behaviours from the child as this can very quickly become a smokescreen process which can deflect from the issue at hand. Children will often use the smokescreen tactic to move away from the primary behaviour and to re-focus the adult's attention on a less important secondary behaviour. This deflection is much less likely to happen if the emotions are kept in check. An essential part of this support based programme is maneuvering discussions so that children take some responsibility for their actions and are actively involved in the repair and recovery of the situation. An example of this can be shown in the following: Johnny refuses to take his cap off as he comes into the classroom you ask him politely: "Johnny please take off your cap and put it in your bag, thank you" Johnny can respond in a number of ways: 1. He ignores you completely 2. He defies you completely with an inappropriate verbal response 3. He attempts to deflect you by mentioning some other issues If he ignores you completely, do not get stressed, simply repeat the request and make some effort to see that he has actually heard what you have said - sometimes children simply do not hear because they are engaged in some activity. If he defies you completely with a verbal response which is less than positive, you could respond: "I have asked you to take your cap off, could you do it now and put it in your bag, thank you" If he attempts to deflect you, he may tell you that another student wore his cap on Thursday, and you didn't say anything to him. Simply ignore this comment and go back to your original request - do not validate or get involved with his discussion about another student - this is simply a deflection activity. As to outcomes, this is where you begin your language of choices: "If you choose not to take your cap off, Johnny, I may need to speak to you during your break time (or after the lesson)" "You need to take your cap off now and put it in your bag. If you're choosing not to then I'll need to speak to you in break time, put it away now, thank you" This process could be scripted for ever but the principal is quite simple - let the students choose the pathway they want to take, but clearly let them know what a poor choice may lead to.

It may be useful to let the student know it is not a big issue but that taking his chosen pathway, it is escalating unnecessarily, and that you would prefer that not to happen - expressing sadness at this choice sometimes helps the student see that you have some empathy for their position It is important to remain calm and have a confident air of expectation that your request will be carried out. Do remember to allow take-up time Making a positive statement about the student and their role in your class can sometimes also have the desired effect. Following this, it is essential to follow up and do what you said you would do and apply some time recovery to discuss the situation, preferably away from the view and earshot of others. When the student tells you they won't stay or meet with you do not get involved with any negotiations, these are designed to deflect you. Should the student choose not to turn up or stay, this would be time to check the reasons and repeat the invitation to speak with them. If they then choose to not stay, it is important to let the student know that this will possibly lead to a more serious outcome and that their choices would be telling you to look to the next level of referral. This aspect can lead to a time objection from the teacher, especially if they have clubs, duties etc but the alternative to taking this action is to give the power and control of your classroom to individual children. Reference: Supportive Behaviour Management (An Inclusive and Emotionally Intelligent Approach to Behaviour Management) http://behaviourmanagement.org/languageofchoice.aspx

Appendix 4

Affective Questions 1. What happened? 2. How did it happen? 3. How did you act in this incident? 4. Who do you think was affected? 5. How were they affected? 6. How were you affected? 7. What needs to happen to make things right? 8. If the same situation happens again how could you behave differently?

Classroom Behaviour Management Plan Affective Questions Appendix 4

Collaborative Problem Solving Separate the deed from the doer, no blame. Use collaborative language to jointly problem solve to make a realistic and achievable goal. Appendix 5.

Positive Reinforcement Extrinsic and Intrinsic recognition. Refer to appendices 1 and 2.

Language of Choice Collective Statement – Choices to optimise all students learning referring to vision and mission. Refer to appendix 3.

Restorative Meeting with Key Students (Class Teacher) Refer to Appendix 8.

Circles and/or Circle Time Use this strategy to explore ‘best practice’ in response to a disruptive student, unmotivated student and/or student displaying bullying behaviour. Appendices 6 and 7.

Restorative Meeting with Key Students and 1) Member of the Leadership Team 2) Meeting with Parents, Mentor and Classroom Teacher Refer to Appendices 9 and 10.

Appendix 5

Collaborative Problem Solving Prior to Meeting 

What are the key issues?



What are the barriers?



What outcome do you want?

Key Principles 1.

Separate the deed from the doer – No Blame, No judgement

2.

Talk about the effect of the behaviour on others and yourself

3.

Use ‘Collaborative Language’

4.

Joint problem solve to enhance responsibility

5.

Use Future Talk

6.

Make a realistic and achievable plan

Process Talk about what has happened. What is the issue? Who has been impacted/affected by this incident? What has been the effect on others? What needs to happen to make this situation better/right? What are some realistic and practical ways to work together to resolve the issue?

When is a suitable time to evaluate these strategies?

Restorative Justice Principle 1 1, 2

3, 4, 5, 6

3, 4, 5, 6

Suggested Statements We are here to talk about … We are here to discuss the incident or issue … It’s important to understand the impact this incident/behaviour/issue is having on … We need to explore what we could do to help this situation. Let’s discuss some strategies that could be useful in making things better. Let’s explore some practical and realistic ways in which we could improve this situation for everyone involved. Let’s write down the things we have agreed to and plan when to meet again. We shall monitor how these strategies are going and meet as often as we can.

Appendix 6

Circle Time Circle Time is just one way of promoting Emotional Literacy in schools. It is mostly used in classrooms but the framework can be applied with groups at all ages, including staff. It is particularly helpful in preventing bullying and developing a more supportive ethos. WHAT IS CIRCLE TIME? Circle Time is a democratic and creative approach used to consider a wide range of issues affecting the whole school community. The strength of circles is that they address values, attitudes and skills within a structured, safe and supportive framework. Evaluation of circle time indicates that it can have a significant impact on:



Promoting positive behaviour

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Preventing and addressing bullying

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Clarifying rules and expectations

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Defining values

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Developing emotional and social understanding and skills

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Developing a supportive class /school ethos

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Sharing and taking responsibility

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Fostering belonging

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Supporting inclusion

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Conflict resolution / management

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Developing good communication

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Creating and developing trust

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Celebrations!

THE PROCESSES OF CIRCLE TIME ARE INTENDED TO:



Promote the value of both individuals and the group

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Not allow individuals to put each other down

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Focus on problem solving issues not blaming individuals

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Focus on the positive rather than the negative

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Emphasise solutions

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Give everyone a turn to contribute

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Emphasise equal value of all contributions

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Promote inclusion

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Not insist on participation but give second chances

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Allow for mistakes



Give time for reflection

RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT IS CENTRAL: ACTIVITIES PROMOTE



Sharing of experiences

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Practising communication skills, especially listening

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Promoting understanding of each other

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Empathy building

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Giving a language and a space for feelings

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Collaboration and co-operation

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Breaking down prejudice

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Developing understanding of abstract ideas such as kindness, tolerance, support

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Having fun together

In classrooms it is essential that the teacher is a facilitator and participant in Circle Time, not a controller. This encourages students to develop their own solutions.

Appendix 7

INNER AND OUTER CIRCLE TIME Use this strategy to explore ‘Best Practice’ in response to: 1. Disruptive Student 2. Unmotivated Student 3. Student Displaying Bullying Behaviour PROCESS 1. Select one issue and one spokesperson. 2. The spokesperson sits in an inner circle with five other people. The spokesperson has 2 minutes to describe the issue. 3. People in the inner circle can ask clarifying questions to the spokesperson. 4. For the next 8 minutes those in the inner circle can offer positive suggestions but no statements of criticism or judgment. 5. During this time others in the outer circle can replace someone in the inner circle by tapping them on the shoulder. 6. At the end of the 8 minutes the spokesperson has 1 minute to reflect and prepare their responses. The spokesperson can only feedback the positive suggestions that they found helpful. Circles as a Restorative Strategy in the Classroom Description: Everyone sits in an open circle of chairs. A talking piece is used to direct the conversation. The circle keeper passes the talking piece in a clockwise direction. Whoever has the object has the floor and everyone else listens. He or she may speak or pass the talking object to the next person in the circle. The talking piece may be passed around the circle several times. All opinions are respected in the circle and there is no right or wrong answers. When introducing this strategy it is best to develop discussions from the tangible to the intangible of from the academic to the affective. Circles can be used to ‘check in’ at the beginning of the week and ‘check out’ at the end of the week. Rules: 1. Speak honestly 2. Speak with respect (no name calling or put downs) 3. Speak briefly so that everyone will have time to speak 4. Speak on the topic

The Keeper’s Role:  May open or close the circle with some stimulus material.  Poses questions or incomplete statements.  May summarise ideas.  Challenge those who are not keeping to the rules to choose if they wish to stay in the circle.  Redirect to maintain confidentiality.

The Talking Piece: Encourage each student to create or find their own talking piece. Any object can be a talking piece provided it is not too large and has a meaning that is connected to ideas about community, caring, hope or peace. Students can share their object in the first go-around of the circle. For future circles use only one talking piece per circle. Pastoral Care Objectives of Circles:  Accountability  Coping Skills  Problem Solving  Emotional Literacy  Self Reflection

Appendix 8a) Managing more Difficult Behaviours Restorative Mediation with Students Prompts and Guidelines: 1. The facilitator needs to speak with each participant prior to the Restorative meeting, explaining the purpose and desired outcomes. 2. It is essential that ALL key stakeholders attend. 3. The facilitator needs to run the meeting with a high degree of structure. In the first part of the meeting, participants only speak in response to the facilitator’s questions. 4. The offended students need to come to the meeting with an understanding of the goals of the restorative meeting. 5. Focus on bringing about learning and repairing relationship, rather than consequences for their own sake. 6. The facilitator needs to focus on the key incident/behaviours and not get sidetracked by other issues. 7. When formulating a plan, each strategy needs to be collaboratively discussed and in agreement with each student. Check if the strategy is achievable, realistic and helpful in the future. Not every consequence suggested needs to be accepted by the group. Too many consequences are counterproductive to a restorative approach. 8. A support person needs to be nominated by the offending student/s and this needs to be someone who will be a positive influence and support to the student in the future. If the students make a negative choice the facilitator needs to advise the student to make a more suitable one.

Managing more difficult behaviours b) Mediation Script Steps: Suggested Statements: Introduction

Thank you for coming today to this meeting. The purpose is not to judge anyone’s character or to decide who was right or wrong. Today is about finding a positive way forward and gaining some learning from what has happened. (It is important to say, that what we discuss is confidential and should not be talked about outside this room.)

Incident

1. From your perspective, what happened?  Each person is asked to talk about what has happened  Accept differences in each person’s account

Affect

2. Who was affected? How were they affected?  Ask each person 3. Acknowledge the impact on each person  Ask each person to repeat a few things the other person said about how the incident impacted n them  Facilitator paraphrases the feelings and content

Solution

4. What do you think needs to happen to make things right?  Ask each person for positive and helpful suggestions 5. Let’s talk about how each idea might work for you  Check that the ideas are acceptable for both 6. Are these suggestions realistic and achievable?  Check that the ideas are realistic

Learning

7. If you find yourself in this situation again, what could you do differently?  Ask each person for suggestions 8. When could we meet again to talk about how things have worked out?  Set a time to meet together

Appendix 9

Managing Difficult Interviews (Meeting with Student/Teacher and Parents) (The same guidelines apply as in appendix 8)

Introductory Phase  Establish rapport

Suggested Statements “I appreciate you coming here today and I value your input ...”

 Establish what we hope to “Let’s talk about what we hope to achieve in this meeting ...” achieve  Ask how the other person feels “How are you feeling about us having this conversation?” about having the interview? (optional) Process Phase  Open questioning  Active listening

Suggested Statements “Describe how you feel your child is going at school?” “Sounds like you are very worried”

 Paraphrasing

“So you see the main issue as ...”

 Good news messages

“Your child has some wonderful strengths ...”

- Collaborative language “We really need to work together on this ...” - Future focused - Solution driven

“Let’s talk about what we can do as of tomorrow that will make a difference ...” “Sometimes one or two new strategies can bring about change ...”

Closure Phase

Suggested Statements

- Summarise

“The main issues we have talked about are ...”

- Link to next interview or intervention

“We will meet again to discuss how we are progressing in ... days/weeks”

- Statement of appreciation

“I really appreciate the time you have given to this meeting and your input has been really valuable”

Appendix 10 Managing more Difficult Behaviours Parent/ Student/Teacher/Principal or AP (The same guidelines apply as in appendix 8) Goals: The Restorative Interview with Key Stakeholders aims to: 1. Increase learning out of misbehaviour 2. Increase relational thinking – how people are affected. 3. Devise a positive plan as a way forward E.g. IPBP- Individual Positive Behaviour Plan (Also refer to the CEO document Managing Students with challenging behaviours- guidelines for Primary Schools)

Seven Linear Steps: 1. Keep a high degree of structure – Establish purpose and process. Key words “This is a highly structured process aimed at this young person learning something out of this incident. There are two parts to this meeting - First we will talk about how people have been affected. - Second we will make a plan for a positive way forward.” 2. Introduce each person and explain why they are there.  Include the students, parents, peers, coordinator and teacher if there was a specific incident. 3. Ask student to talk about the behaviour, who was affected and how/ Key words:  “This is not about us judging your character. We are here to talk about specifically about the behaviour, who was affected by the behaviour and how they were affected. 4. Have each person talk about how they were affected. Interject when there is blaming, personal comments or dredging up of the past. 5. Talk about the student’s strengths. 

“While we clearly disapprove of what has happen we need to also acknowledge your strengths.”

6. Ask the student if there is anything they wish to say to each of the people affected by their behaviour. 

“I want you to think about how each person has been affected. Is there anything you would like to say to anyone here that you think you would be helpful?” 7. Devise a plan for positive change that is realistic and achievable. Incorporate in the plan, support and management of setbacks. The plan is not a contract that if broken, results in expulsion.    

“What needs to happen for s to see a positive way forward?” “What needs to happen to make amends/repair to the damaged relationships?” “If the same situation happens again, how could you act differently?” “When you leave this meeting the other students might quiz you about what has happened here. What could you say in reply that might be helpful?