POOPING BACK AND FORTH FOREVER by Orion Canning This is a game for two people playing two assholes who look at each other and think about what a fucking asshole the other asshole is. Back and forth. Possibly forever. If you want to play with more then those two mandatory assholes, other people can play characters who get in the middle of the whole ass butting contest. 3-5 players should work best. You’ll need a copy of these rules, print outs of the character cards, and two different kinds of tokens to keep track of contempt and empathy. You should have around 30 of each kind. Poker chips, coins, dice, glass beads, and buttons all work as long as you can keep the two kinds separate. It can also be useful to write the names of characters on notecards, folded in half to standup and be easily legible to everyone. This is a story game. You could also call it a Role Playing game, but fundamentally it’s a game where you sit around with other people, and through playing tell a story. It’s kind of like an improv game except you’re never really on the spot, there’s always room for a conversation between players. On your turn you might need a moment to think, instead of confidently leaping into poetic story craft, or you might tell the other players your ideas of what should happen next that are forming in your head, and ask them to help you out. That’s totally okay. Inspiration doesn’t always come easy, but this game is collaborative and cooperative and the other people playing with you can always help. In fact, you’ll probably find that your ideas surprise and amaze the people you play with, even if you thought they were kind of boring or just didn’t put a lot of thought into them (I mean your ideas, but if you think your friends are boring, playing this game with them will probably help with that too.) One thing about telling stories with other people, especially when the story can go in any direction at any time, is that sometimes something can come up in the story that will make someone uncomfortable or somehow spoil their fun. This could be anything really, maybe someone makes a character with the same name as someone who recently passed away, or maybe they are playing a villain who is just a little too hateful, or maybe some in character flirtation is making someone feel awkward. Me and my friends use a tool called the veil in these situations, sort of a story game safeword. If something is bothering you, even in the slightest, just say you’d like to veil that thing. Lets say your character and another character were in a romantic situation and it looked like they were about to have sex. If you said you wanted to veil the sex, it could mean it’s okay with you if the sex happens, but you don’t want to describe it, you want to skip over to the next morning. Or it could mean that you don’t want sex between your character and that other character to happen at all. So when you veil something you might have to clarify exactly what you’re comfortable with or uncomfortable with. The important thing is you don’t have to explain why it bothers you or justify it to anyone, and everyone else will respect that and agree not to have that thing appear in the fiction again. This is good because it means no one will have to sit through a story that makes them uncomfortable, and it’s also good because it means that everyone can be a bit more unfiltered and free to create freely without worry of being judged, because if anything bothers someone it’s no big deal, they can veil it, and you won’t bring it up again. Saying something that gets veiled doesn’t make you an asshole, but bringing something up after it’s been veiled does.

Also remember that if you want to stop and take a break, or if you want to stop and talk about something that just happened in the story, or about the rules, that’s cool too. Remember that it’s a conversation. Sometimes, if everyone agrees, you might even decide to go back and change something that happened before in the story. It’s your story. So yeah, that’s what you’re looking at. Now, on with the rules.

Deciding on a setting The first thing you and the others playing the game need to do is decide on a setting together. If you’ve got nothing, that’s okay, I’ve provided a default setting and some other ideas. But if you’ve got better ideas, or just some you really like, go with them. Either way, feel free to use the following setting description to inform and inspire your decision. THE MALL Both of you assholes work in the same big mall in the same town. It’s a pretty nice mall and a lot of people come every day to buy things and sometimes just to get out of the house or out of bad weather. There are regulars who usually have no place better to go where they can hang out, or who are just really in to shopping. There’s always a pickpocket, shoplifter, or otherwise shady character around, but often it’s hard to tell them apart from everyone else. Security roams the halls for that reason, and then tend to be helpful and courteous despite not really enjoying their jobs. Some people even come here looking to pick up a date. There’s always a constant thunder of human voices and footsteps. Somewhere, piercingly close or sonorous and distant, a child is crying. Salesmen call out to passerby to peddle their cell phone cases and remote control toys and novelty t-shirts and belt buckles and stuffed animals or swedish massage or shiatsu or curling iron as seen on TV. And there’s always music playing over the speakers, seasonally appropriate or top 40s and muzak covers you can hardly distinguish from the real thing over the hubbub. It smells like people and coffee and greasy food and soft drinks and powdered soap and perfume and cologne and every once and a while, a shameful and mysterious fart cloud that quickens customer’s steps. Both of you assholes work here in the food court, and you can see each other over the counter tops, day after day. You don’t always work the same shifts but you always seem to bump into each other at some point, coming or going on break or when you start or get off at the end of the day, and the fact that you always have to see each other sucks because you really despise each other. Not that you know each other at all but you tend to do a lot of people watching when it’s slow, and you’ve even managed to eavesdrop a little on some of the stupid shit they say. Everything about them just gets to you. Worst of all, since you’re actually employed by the mall and not the chains whose food you serve, sometimes you end up being forced to work together. You both have friends who stop by now and then to see you or just to hang out, you get along with most of your coworkers, and you’ve even gotten to know some regulars in your time working here. You’ve probably talked shit about each other to these people, and maybe some of what they said about you came around to your ears, maybe some of your friends are their friends, maybe some have already taken sides. And some of them might even be itching to see you two fight. God your jobs suck.

OTHER IDEAS Coworkers is a great setup, whether it’s at the mall, in an office building, or maybe you’re both college faculty. On the flipside you could both be students who share some classes in high school or college. Or maybe your relationship is in-equal, a teacher and a student, a boss and an employee. You could be intimate or distant, maybe you are brothers or sisters with an intense case of sibling rivalry, child and parent, a married couple on the rocks, a divorced couple fighting over custody rights and alimony. You could be intense rivals of some sort, Lawyers on rival firms, or butting heads as prosecution and defense in a trial, or rival teams literally butting heads on the field. You could both work at a hospital, doctor and insurance guy, doctor and patient, doctor and nurse, wealthy infirm and caregiver, or patients stuck in the same room. You could have an even more adversarial relationship. Rival gangs, or members of the same gang. Secret agents or super spies. Super heroes and super villains. Cops and robbers. And don’t forget there is lots of space for people who should be friends to be enemies. Like two cops who disagree with each other’s methods, two pro wrestlers who take the act a little too seriously, Two hockey players on the same team who get in the way of each other’s shots. Yes, frenemies can be the best (or worst). Sometimes your relationship is through someone else. Stepparent and stepchild. In laws. Your lover’s best friend. Your sibling’s lover. The guy your ex left you for. Heck, you can even grab characters from popular movies and TV shows. Harry and Draco. Buffy and Spike. Superman and Lex Luthor. Ash and Team Rocket. Inspector Gadget and Dr Claw. The possibilities are endless but no matter what, you are both assholes pooping back and forth forever.

Character Creation This is the part of the game where you figure out who the character you are playing is and what they are like. This isn’t meant to be a silly game, though it’s okay if you’d rather play it that way. I think you’ll get the most rewarding experience though if you try to treat your characters like real people with real desires and fears and emotions. For the two people playing assholes, it’s simple. Lay out the seven character cards on the table, with the side with a single word on it face up. You are an asshole. What do you worship? Each player picks one. You can’t both pick the same one. After you both pick, take turns reading your card aloud. The card you pick says what your character values most, what their general worldview is, what they hate about other people, and what they hate about themselves. The card the other player picks says something about your character too. The kind of people they hate most, you’re one of those. Think about that and how that fits with your card. Think about what kind of person you are, how they act, how they talk, how they move, what they look like, what they wear, what their name is. Discuss it with the other player, let them suggest some things about your character and what it is about you they hate. Do that until you both have a good idea of who your character is. When you are both done you should both take a single contempt token. Both assholes start off with one contempt, since they already don’t like each other.

The other players will play other characters in the two asshole’s lives. It’s their job to populate the world with other people, people with names and personalities and relationships with the two assholes and maybe a stake in how things turn out between them. These players can introduce and create new characters as they see fit. Think about all the characters who might exist in the lives of these two assholes, who could get caught in the middle of their rivalry. Try to create characters that create triangles between the main characters, like a love interest both assholes share, a traitorous friend who switched sides, or someone who sees the good in both of them. Sometimes provoke things towards escalated conflict, sometimes try to help resolve things. That’s your job, to throw a wrench in the mix and make things interesting, and to add your own spark to the story.

Character Cards Money - I love things, and I will never have enough. I always have to have the newest, best things, and it’s never long before they become obsolete. And having these things is always in direct conflict with my savings, my retirement, the million dollar sports car I always wanted, and the mansion on the hill. I will never have enough. I am always reaching for the next promotion or a better position, held back by glass ceilings and idiot bosses and backstabbing coworkers. I hate the rich because they got lucky, or they were born rich, or simply because I deserve it more then them. I hate the poor because they are lazy, pathetic, and stupid. I hate the complacency and sameness of the middle class, but I’m stuck there. Power - I always have to be in control. In every relationship, I say what goes. I will stoop to any level to acquire and maintain that control. I lie, and fake emotions and manipulate people. But what I hate most is when other people try to control me, when someone else tricks me into doing what they want. And once I have power over someone, I hate the responsibility. I hate the people I have power over for always making mistakes, never doing it right on their own, always having to be told what to do. I fantasize about being completely powerless, the thrill of it, the relief, but I’ll never let it be more then a fantasy. Intellect - Most people are fools; moronic, mindless sheep. I’m one of the few smart ones who can actually see what’s really going on in the world, see who really pulls the strings. But I’m powerless, held back by the masses and the tyranny of the majority. I’m smarter then all my friends but none of them realize it. No one else notices all the times I had a good idea and everyone else ignored it, then after following someone else’s stupid suggestion to it’s eventual idiotic conclusion, someone else took credit for my good idea. I’ve stopped saying I told you so after my warnings that something is a very bad idea are proved to be true, it only earns resentment. No one really listens, making the same stupid mistakes over and over again. And yet, even I make mistakes, and every time I do I hate myself for it. How could I be so stupid? If I were really so smart, wouldn’t I have solved all my problems by now, and everyone else’s? Morality - I’m a good person, I do my best, I try to be nice and polite all the time. But nice guys finish last, and I am living proof. It’s always the selfish assholes in the world that get what they want. People are animals, operating on basic instinct, greed, and lust. No one cares whether someone is a good person, all that matters is being the loudest and most persistent (that is, rude and obnoxious and self centered) person in the room. Deep down I wish I could be a little more like that, that I could get all the sex and money and power that deep down I really want and deserve. But I’ll never fall to their level, I’m better then them, and anytime I let myself slip just a little, it fills me with guilt and self loathing. I love pointing out other people’s lies and hypocrisies. Sometimes I wish I never had to be around other people, that they would all just leave me alone, but eventually the loneliness takes hold and I think maybe I can find some other good people in this world, if only I get past the assholes to find them.

Beauty - I’m hot, and I know it. I see the way people look at me when I walk by, I feel them staring at my ass. I deserve it, I’ve earned it, I put a lot of work into how I look. I have a daily exercise routine to keep myself in good shape, I bathe almost compulsively, I use a line of high quality beauty products, and I wear fashionable clothes that flatter my body. I always smell good. I have to do all of that, to cover up my flaws. That skintag I need to get removed, my asymmetrical nipples, that excess body weight, the disgusting hair that keeps growing back, the smell of my own skin under the soap and body spray. When I look in the mirror all I can see is flaws. Other people are no different, but most of them don’t even try. The fat people, the ugly people, the people who smell like shit and piss and sweat, they disgust me, I wish I didn’t even have to look at them. If they aren’t going to try to look good, they shouldn’t be allowed to go outside. Art - I’ve got impeccably good taste. Whether my thing is music, fine cuisine, arthouse cinema, painting, or interpretive dance, not only do I know good work when I see it, but I’m an artist myself. Granted, I am my own harshest critic, a perfectionist, I can always be better, and there is always someone better then me out there. Some people say I’m a snob, that I treat other people like they are beneath me and surround myself with people who think I’m the next gift to mankind. Everyone’s a critic. The difference between me and them is I have a trained eye, so when I say their work is shit, it’s god’s honest truth. And people who don’t see it the same way I do, well, they just have no taste at all. Pleasure - I’ve got a thing, an itch, an obsession, some might say an addiction. For me, there’s one thing that really gets me off, and I’ll do anything to get it. Probably it’s sex or drugs, maybe it’s violence, or adrenaline, or maybe I’m just a sadist. Or maybe all of the above, I’ve probably got a whole list. So what if I’m kinky, I hate the high and mighty types who think they are better then me just because their lives are so boring and vanilla. I can’t live like that, I’d rather take a bullet to the head. I thrive on excess and over-stimulation. The worst people are the ones who try to get in my way, friends and family members who say I need help and stage interventions as if they gave a shit, they don’t know me and they never did. And cops, fucking cops. Even the pussies who get scared and want to back out at the last second. They all just want to get in the way of my fun. Fuck them, it’s my life and I’ll live it however I want.

Framing, Narrative Authority, and who goes first. Before you play you have to decide which asshole goes first. You could flip a coin or play Rock, Paper, Scissors, but the best way to decide is to talk over one another as loudly as possible until one person gives up and stops talking. The other one, AKA the bigger asshole, goes first. After that you’ll take turns picking what type of scene you want to do from the scene list. There’s two types of scenes, framed scenes and narrated scenes. If you picked a framed scene, the first thing you have to do is frame the scene, which means you establish where the scene is taking place, who is there, and what’s happening at the start of the scene. You might also want to talk about what you generally expect to happen in the scene, without going into much detail, but that’s optional. For example, I might frame a scene by saying. “Okay, me and Eddie (the other asshole) have gotten off work, and I see they missed their bus and are waiting in the cold, so I pull up and offer to give them a ride. And… I think Eddie is going to try to get me to pick up their girlfriend or something so maybe she’ll be there too? I guess that’s up to you Eddie.”

Framing is just the set up, after that you’ll roleplay the scene controlling only your character. You get narrative control over your character, but only your character. That means you get to say what your character says and does, but you don’t get to control or describe any other characters, because the other players have narrative control over them. Sometimes you might speak as your character and even act them out, sometimes you’ll just want to describe what they do. Saying, “I say, “Hey, umm, where are you trying to get to?” while acting out the characters body language, facial expression’s and tone of voice, is just as okay as simply saying, “So Jenna pulls up in her station wagon and kind of leans over the seat to roll down the passenger window and look at you, and she sounds a little guarded as she asks you where you live.” It really comes down to your own personal preferences and comfort level, and what the particular scene and moment calls for. Another thing you’ll want to talk about is how much time has passed since the last scene. A scene could follow immediately after the scene before, or it could happen hours, later, the next day, maybe even weeks later. If you’re thinking of jumping ahead, make sure you talk with everyone else to make sure you aren’t skipping a moment they wanted to play out and see. You can even jump forward and backwards in flash forwards and flash backs, but be careful with that because it can get pretty confusing if you aren’t Sometimes there will be a conflict over who has narrative control. Like if I say my character punches you in the face, and you say no, your character would dodge. Generally if I’m trying to do something to your character, whether or not I can falls under your narrative authority. But you should keep in mind that it’s usually best if everyone tries to trust the other player’s creative impulses and go with them, and that there is no such thing as winning or losing. As long as you tell a good story together, everyone wins, and sometimes that will mean bad things happening to your character in the story. In this game in particular, the conflict between the two main characters has the possibility of becoming dark and violent, and for the most part the players should try and go with that and see where it leads them. Of course, like I said before, if something is spoiling your fun, you are free to remove it, and if you really think something is bad for the story or doesn’t fit you should speak up. But don’t shoot something down just because it wasn’t what you expected or planned to happen, try to keep an open mind and let yourself be surprised by where the story and the other players take you. In a narrated scene, you have a lot more narrative authority over what other characters are doing. In this game the two types of narrated scenes involve describing an interaction between your character and the other asshole, where you talk about what it looks like from your character’s perspective, and what they think about it. This is basically a brief little monologue or story all of your own. It’s still okay for other people to suggest things, it’s still a conversation, but in this case you have final say over what your character does, and what the other asshole does, and other character’s too if you please. When you finish telling what happened and how your character perceived it and what they thought about it, you hand the reins over and let the other asshole narrate things from their point of view. In this case they should try to stick close to the major events of your story, but they should also show a different perspective of what happened that tells it from their side of things. The first scene you’ll frame is going to be a bad first impression scene. It’s a loathing scene where you talk about the first time you met the other asshole. After that it’s the other asshole’s turn. You’ll keep taking turns and accruing contempt and empathy until one of you chooses an assault scene or an admiration scene. After that anyone is free to end the game at any time, or you can keep going forever.

Contempt - Represents your hatred for the other asshole. Empathy - Represents your understanding and acceptance of the other asshole. Scene types: (Pick one on your turn. If a condition is met you may choose from the underlying scenes as well.)

-AnytimeLoathing scene: Narrate the other asshole doing something you hate while you are around. Talk about why you hate it so much and what’s wrong with them and what they did. Most of this will probably be just the thoughts in your character’s head. When you’re done they get a chance to retell what happened from their perspective and shed a different light on what they did, to make it sound reasonable, pitiable, awesome, or maybe even worse. In response to their retelling, you then get to decide whether to gain a point of Contempt, empathy, or no points at all, based on how effective the retelling was at reframing the events you described in a positive light and how you think your character would feel. You might also decide that your character is oblivious to the other assholes perspective and ignore it. The decision is ultimately completely up to you. Understanding Scene: Frame a scene where you and the other asshole interact, (both retaining authority over your characters,) and you attempt to find common ground with them and treat them as an equal. Probably as simple as trying to have a polite conversation with them, maybe you’re forced to work together and you try to make the best of it, or maybe they make a mistake and you cut them some slack. At the end of the scene, they should decide how the scene made them feel about you, and correspondingly gain a point of empathy, gain a point of contempt, or lose a point of contempt. The decision is completely theirs to make.

-If your contempt is higher then your empathyHarassment scene: In a harassment scene, you escalate the hostility between the characters by framing a scene where your character seeks to cause momentary harm, stress, or discomfort to the other character, physically or mentally, probably on a level where you have little to no chance of breaking any laws. Perhaps you key their car, bully them in front of their friends, pull a mean spirited prank, or spread rumors about them behind their back. Depending on the outcome of the scene, you can choose to gain a contempt or an empathy, whatever you think your character would feel. Regardless of your choice, they can choose to gain a contempt as well.

-If your contempt is higher then empathy and over tenAssault scene: Like a harassment scene, only the action is escalated to a more dangerous level, with intent to do lasting harm and the possibility of causing emotional trauma or permanent injury and crossing serious boundaries. Cutting their break lines, getting into a fierce fistfight, breaking into their home, and seducing their trusted spouse or friend are all possible forms of assault. After an assault scene you can choose to raise, lower, or leave your contempt as it is. They automatically gain a contempt and can choose to gain a second one if they desire. Any player can choose to end the game after this scene.

-If your empathy is higher then your contemptBonding scene: Frame a scene where you attempt to make a connection with the other asshole by making a friendly gesture, offering help, looking for something you have in common, sharing something personal about yourself, or anything else that might create a positive connection. Depending on how the other asshole responds this could completely backfire. At the end of the scene you both secretly take a contempt or an empathy. Reveal your choices at the same time. If you both chose empathy, you both also remove a contempt. If you both chose contempt, both remove an empathy.

-If your empathy is higher then contempt and over tenAdmiration scene: Narrate the other asshole doing something you find admirable and likable while you are around. Talk about why you like and admire it so much and what’s great about them and what they did. When you are done they get a chance to talk objectively and honestly about what’s really happening with the other asshole, to try to add to the understanding of their character and actions. They should speak honestly about themselves, even if it’s contrary to what you thought of them, perhaps even speaking negatively about themselves and talking about how and what they did are not so great after all. You gain an empathy and can choose to also lose a point of contempt. Any player can choose to end the game after this scene.

EPILOGUE When you end the game you may want to tell a brief epilogue that wraps up the story. Each player should talk about what happens to their character at the end. Maybe in your last scene the assholes kill each other, maybe they end up in jail, maybe they realize how poisonous they are for each other and part ways for good, or maybe they realize it was secual tension between them causing all the problems and become lovers. Up to you!

This game was written for Global Game Jam 2014. The theme was, ““We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” Thanks to Robert Bruce for bouncing ideas off me and helping me come up with the concept of the game. Also thanks to Hans Chung-Otterson for inviting me to the jam in the first place, and all the other people who went who I couldn’t be there in person with, (Jackson Tegu, Harry Lee, Mike Sugarbaker, Joli St. Patrick, and anyone else I missed.) If you have questions, comments, feedback, hatemail, stories of playing the game, or money you want to send me, you can contact me at [email protected].

MONEY POWER INTELLECT MORALITY

BEAUTY PLEASURE

ART

I always have to be in control. In every relationship, I say what goes. I will stoop to any level to acquire and maintain that control. I lie, and fake emotions and manipulate people. But what I hate most is when other people try to control me, when someone else tricks me into doing what they want. And once I have power over someone, I hate the responsibility. I hate the people I have power over for always making mistakes, never doing it right on their own, always having to be told what to do. I fantasize about being completely powerless, the thrill of it, the relief, but I’ll never let it be more then a fantasy.

I love things, and I will never have enough. I always have to have the newest, best things, and it’s never long before they become obsolete. And having these things is always in direct conflict with my savings, my retirement, the million dollar sports car I always wanted, and the mansion on the hill. I will never have enough. I am always reaching for the next promotion or a better position, held back by glass ceilings and idiot bosses and backstabbing coworkers. I hate the rich because they got lucky, or they were born rich, or simply because I deserve it more then them. I hate the poor because they are lazy, pathetic, and stupid. I hate the complacency and sameness of the middle class, but I’m stuck there.

I’m a good person, I try to be nice and polite all the time. But nice guys finish last, I am living proof. It’s always the selfish assholes in the world that get what they want. People are animals, operating on basic instinct, greed, and lust. All that matters is being the loudest and most persistent (that is, rude and obnoxious and self centered) person in the room. Deep down I wish I could be more like that, get all the sex and money and power that I really want and deserve. But I’ll never fall to their level, I’m better then them. Anytime I slip just a little, it fills me with guilt and self loathing. I love pointing out other people’s lies and hypocrisies. Sometimes I wish I never had to be around other people, that they would all just leave me alone, but eventually the loneliness takes hold.

Most people are fools; moronic, mindless sheep. I’m one of the few smart ones who can actually see what’s really going on in the world. But I’m powerless, held back by the masses and the tyranny of the majority. I’m smarter then all my friends but none of them realize it. No one else notices all the times I had a good idea and everyone else ignored it, then someone else took credit for my good idea. I’ve stopped saying I told you so after my warnings proved to be true, it only earns resentment. No one really listens, making the same stupid mistakes over and over again. And yet, even I make mistakes, and every time I do I hate myself for it. How could I be so stupid? If I were really so smart, wouldn’t I have solved all my problems by now, and everyone else’s?

I’ve got impeccably good taste. Whether my thing is music, fine cuisine, arthouse cinema, painting, or interpretive dance, not only do I know good work when I see it, but I’m an artist myself. Granted, I am my own harshest critic, a perfectionist, I can always be better, and there is always someone better then me out there. Some people say I’m a snob, that I treat other people like they are beneath me and surround myself with people who think I’m the next gift to mankind. Everyone’s a critic. The difference between me and them is I have a trained eye, so when I say their work is shit, it’s god’s honest truth. And people who don’t see it the same way I do, well, they just have no taste at all.

I’m hot, and I know it. I see the way people look at I when I walk by. I’ve earned it, I put a lot of work into how I look. I have a daily exercise routine to keep myself in good shape, I use a line of high quality beauty products, and I wear fashionable clothes that flatter my body. I always smell good. I have to do all of that, to cover up my flaws. That skintag I need to get removed, my asymmetrical nipples, that excess body weight, the disgusting hair that keeps growing back. When I look in the mirror all I can see is flaws. Other people don’t even try. The fat people, the ugly people, the people who smell like shit and piss and sweat, they disgust me, I wish I didn’t even have to look at them. If they aren’t going to try to look good, they shouldn’t be allowed to go outside.

I’ve got an itch, an obsession, some might say an addiction. For me, there’s one thing that really gets me off, and I’ll do anything to get it. Probably it’s sex or drugs, maybe it’s violence, or adrenaline, or maybe I’m just a sadist. So what if I’m kinky, I hate the high and mighty types who think they are better then me just because their lives are so boring and vanilla. I’d rather take a bullet to the head. I thrive on excess and over-stimulation. The worst people are the ones who get in my way, who say I need help and stage interventions as if they gave a shit, they don’t know me and they never did. And cops, fucking cops. Even the pussies who get scared and want to back out at the last second. They all just want to get in the way of my fun. Well, fuck them, it’s my life.