DOES THIS SOUND LIKE MEDICINE? Patient: Hey, Doc… sure glad you moved into our neighborhood. Several friends have told me that you are the best doctor they’ve ever been too. Doc: Well, thank you. How can I help you? Patient: My back has really been bothering me, I have a hangnail, and trouble sleeping, which is stressing me out. All of this seems to make me feel depressed. Doc: You sure sound like you are in bad shape and need some medicine. And, I think I have just the perfect thing for you that will help will all these ailments Patient: Write me a prescription! Doc. Well, it’s not a prescription. It is a recommendation. Actually, the medical associations don’t recommend it. But many of my patients say it really helps them. Patient: O.K. So tell me a little more… Doctor: It’s marijuana. No other “medications” are smoked but that’s not important . Marijuana users claim it helps with all the symptoms you described. ●
The beauty of this type of medicine is that can smoke marijuana every day as often as you’d like, for as long as you’d like … until you feel better. And if you don’t like smoke it comes in cookie, candy and soda forms. This makes it great for kids and in Florida children can get marijuana medicine at any age and with only one parental or guardian approval.
Patient: Sounds great for everyone. What are the sideeffects? Doctor: Since you ask I’ll mention a few – memory impairment, trouble reasoning & thought processing, slight breathing problems, increases heart rate, poor coordination, tunnel vision & some mental health issues. I wouldn’t worry about these . Patient: Great when should I plan to return for checkup? Doc: Followup monitoring isn’t required with marijuana. In fact, if it doesn’t help and you feel sick… you may want to go to the emergency room as I am not liable for any sideeffects or accidents that may occur due to using marijuana. Patient: So write me this recommendation and I’ll go to the pharmacy. Doc: Well, you don’t go to a pharmacy or drugstore. It is actually more convenient as there are several new dispensaries throughout your neighborhood if you haven’t noticed and 2000 in the state of Florida so locating one shouldn’t be a problem. I am quite sure they have an app. ● ●
In fact I would say there are more dispensaries than Starbucks. Now at the dispensary you have an opportunity to do some selfmedicating. You choose the potency & type you like. For example here are some of the most popular: Blue Dream, Girl Scout Cookies, OG Cush, Blueberry, … Try several before deciding.
Patient: Well, I like Blueberries. Doc: I knew this would be perfect for you. Did I mention you can have it delivered to your home? Patient: This sounds almost too good to be true. Is it someone from hospice or a nurse?
Doc: Well, not exactly but that’s not important . Basically, the only requirement is that the caregiver be 21 or older. They can have as many quote “patients” as desired so you should easily be able to find a dealer oh I mean caregiver You may even be able to do that as a parttime job. Patient: This sounds like a miracle drug. Doctor: I guarantee it will change your life forever. Now pay my receptionist $300 cash on your way out.
