Solution​ ​to​ ​Thanksgiving​ ​Logic​ ​Puzzle Feeding​ ​on​ ​Folly Cousin​ ​Penelope​​ ​brought​ ​the​ ​Tofurkey​ ​and​ ​recently​ ​became​ ​a​ ​Minimalist,​ ​making​ ​her​ ​doubly superior​ ​to​ ​you​ ​as​ ​both​ ​Vegan​ ​and​ ​Non-Materialist.​ ​Of​ ​course,​ ​her​ ​all​ ​black​ ​ensemble​ ​is​ ​all designer​ ​labels,​ ​but​ ​who​ ​are​ ​we​ ​to​ ​judge?​ ​When​ ​in​ ​the​ ​kitchen,​ ​she​ ​spills​ ​things​ ​(not​ ​on herself,​ ​but​ ​elsewhere)​ ​in​ ​the​ ​hopes​ ​of​ ​getting​ ​out​ ​of​ ​work.​ ​It​ ​usually​ ​works. Brother-in-Law​ ​Dick​​ ​brought​ ​a​ ​Pumpkin​ ​pie​ ​he​ ​picked​ ​up​ ​at​ ​Costco,​ ​making​ ​it​ ​to​ ​the​ ​house​ ​in record​ ​time​ ​(and​ ​cutting​ ​off​ ​3​ ​cars)​ ​in​ ​his​ ​BMW.​ ​He​ ​was​ ​the​ ​only​ ​customer​ ​in​ ​the​ ​store​ ​wearing an​ ​Armani​ ​suit.​ ​He​ ​recently​ ​separated​ ​from​ ​your​ ​sister​ ​(​But​ ​you​ ​didn’t​ ​know​ ​that​ ​yet.​ ​Sorry!​),​ ​so he’s​ ​drowning​ ​his​ ​sorrows​ ​with​ ​the​ ​bottle​ ​of​ ​Pinot​ ​Noir​ ​you​ ​brought.​ ​He​ ​thought​ ​it​ ​was​ ​a​ ​little dry,​ ​but​ ​found​ ​the​ ​hint​ ​of​ ​blackberries​ ​and​ ​cedar​ ​bark​ ​amusing. Friend​ ​of​ ​the​ ​Family,​ ​Lydia​​ ​brought​ ​an​ ​Apple​ ​Pie,​ ​the​ ​recipe​ ​of​ ​which​ ​she​ ​found​ ​on​ ​Focus​ ​on the​ ​Family’s​ ​website,​ ​because,​ ​yes,​ ​she​ ​recently​ ​converted​ ​to​ ​Christianity,​ ​and​ ​nothing’s​ ​more fun​ ​than​ ​spending​ ​time​ ​with​ ​a​ ​recent​ ​convert.​ ​Lydia​ ​is​ ​wearing​ ​her​ ​best​ ​sweatshirt​ ​(it​ ​reads “God​ ​put​ ​the​ ​AWE​ ​in​ ​AWESOME”)​ ​and​ ​is​ ​using​ ​her​ ​God-given​ ​talent​ ​of​ ​delegating​ ​work. Praise​ ​the​ ​Lord! Uncle​ ​Harold​​ ​loves​ ​himself​ ​some​ ​green​ ​bean​ ​casserole​ ​with​ ​the​ ​crispy​ ​onions​ ​on​ ​top​ ​(made any​ ​other​ ​way​ ​is​ ​just​ ​wrong).​ ​He​ ​has​ ​an​ ​iPhone​ ​X​ ​that​ ​he​ ​doesn’t​ ​have​ ​a​ ​clue​ ​how​ ​to​ ​use,​ ​but​ ​it doesn’t​ ​stop​ ​him​ ​from​ ​showing​ ​it​ ​off​ ​during​ ​commercials​ ​as​ ​he​ ​watches​ ​T.V.​ ​Also,​ ​he’s​ ​chosen Thanksgiving​ ​to​ ​tell​ ​his​ ​family​ ​he’s​ ​a​ ​transvestite.​ ​He’s​ ​wearing​ ​a​ ​purple​ ​floral​ ​number​ ​with pearls. Aunt​ ​Carol​​ ​is​ ​making​ ​the​ ​turkey​ ​and​ ​doing​ ​all​ ​the​ ​cooking,​ ​of​ ​course.​ ​She’s​ ​a​ ​bit​ ​put​ ​out​ ​that her​ ​daughter​ ​didn’t​ ​make​ ​it​ ​home​ ​from​ ​Julliard,​ ​but​ ​mostly​ ​she’s​ ​pissed​ ​that​ ​Uncle​ ​Harold​ ​looks better​ ​in​ ​a​ ​dress​ ​than​ ​she​ ​does.​ ​She​ ​hasn’t​ ​even​ ​had​ ​time​ ​to​ ​change​ ​out​ ​of​ ​her​ ​old​ ​sweatshirt and​ ​jeans.​ ​Honestly.​ ​Would​ ​it​ ​kill​ ​a​ ​person​ ​to​ ​help​ ​out​ ​occasionally?​ ​Sheesh!