Talking to Real New Yorkers about The New Yorker.pdf

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Talking to Real New Yorkers about The New Yorker By Matt Starr

9/27/10

INT. MAN ON THE STREET Dave, a real New Yorker, stands on a street corner with an issue of the New Yorker in his hands. DAVE Hey, my name is Dave and we are out here talking to real New Yorkers about the magazine that represents them best, The New Yorker. INT. CORNER FLOWER SHOP DAVE walks the streets of New York with an issue of The New Yorker in his hands. He approaches a man selling FLOWERS on a street corner. DAVE Excuse me! Are you a New Yorker? FLOWERS Yeah. DAVE Are you excited about harpsichordist Gerald Ranck playing with the Jupiter Symphony Chamber Orchestra tonight? Flowers gives a confused look. DAVE I love New York! INT. SUBWAY STOP Dave stops an MTA worker. DAVE You’re a New Yorker right? MTA Born and raised in Queens. DAVE Great! Do you agree that Israeli writer David Grossman’s writing has a lyrical intensity that deeply connects the reader to his characters’ inner states?

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MTA What? DAVE New York, New York! INT. GROCERY STORE Dave chats with a Grocery Store MANAGER. MANAGER You want me to give a caption for this drawing of a these two hoity-toities sitting at a dinner table? DAVE Yes. MANAGER Quit wasting my time! Get out of here! DAVE I’m wasting your time? Forget you! MANAGER Forget me? INT. ON TRAIN Dave points at the cartoon to a group of urban youths. DAVE And look, the caption says, "Check please." YOUTH #1 That shit isn’t funny. DAVE Well this is your magazine. This is what you should find funny. YOUTH #2 That isn’t my magazine! You read this trash? DAVE Y-yeah. I mean, I’m working here. C’mon!

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INT. ON STREET Dave walks dejectedly to a group of women walking down the street. WOMAN #1 Oh, we love The New Yorker! DAVE Really? WOMAN #1 For sure, I read every issue from cover to cover. DAVE Are you from New York? WOMAN #1 Oh heavens no, we’re just here for the weekend. Did you hear that girls? He thought we were real New Yorkers! Dave grimaces. INT. MAN ON THE STREET Dave stands on the street corner. He is silent for a beat. He speaks begrudgiingly. DAVE Yeah, read the New Yorker. TITLE SCREEN Text reads: The New Yorker for real New Yorkers.