PROTO-BARBARIAN CONSUMER REFLECTIONS Pratap N Deb

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PROTO-BARBARIAN CONSUMER REFLECTIONS by Pratap N Deb © 2011 Ten Pages Press All rights revert to author upon publication http://tenpagespress.wordpress.com

(hydroponic system) Civilization hydroponic system barrage of tunes on a fantail desert ship. human worker lays the road while I watch and ponder the universe. Seepage of time through your pores ooze out in glistening crystals of sweat - hot noonday sun, burn my back sit in shade sow the seeds of some fertile harvester-hope. Wait patiently for rain god’s blessings, soar across firey skies and watch them grow. Flycatcher fly out, too big to fit in your little nest-hole. Evil witch mother gone bad who was once benevolent bitch of giving. Now, only take as does doctor - servant in your image. Spit clouds of smoke out showers of wet dreams. I watch in awe, glazed, his eyes, performing terrible magicks. Crackling lightning. Spellbound. I believe. Feel that wave well up in sporadic multi-mini-explosions – fission reactions soaring through the sky, watch me and yawn. God is alive I realize. She gives; who is my mother. Shudder in a fit, faint, collapse into void to find myself witnessing the birth of a star.

(dopamine dream) Dopa divide gluttons, civil service in the name of the lord who documents all our rituals. Spin us on your fingers o’ precise doctor. Consume us. Divide us. Standardized homo-monopolized shopping complexes in my scratchy bag. Ah! What a fine day! We want I scream! Beat the heat sleep drain maim chain slit spit on a spittoon – who cares? Do you? Are you doing anything about it? Hey! Neither am I! Lets go have a drink! Enough idiots in this world and I’m just another crazy. Multi billion trips linking and clinking and we just wanna know what’s going on. Lost in orbit around some industrio-electric grid so spike my drink, short circuit me to your heaven. 7 billion flight paths trying to get to the same place. Where’s there? Somewhere far out. Far back. Mythological memory, immuno acids swirling in electric-blue neuron cavities. Scale is insane. Never think of it. Or do; it’s your life anyway.

(red queen) grey day. she wears a red skirt, soft, frilled edges. eats her cold cereal, steps to the window, gazes out. crisscross wet drizzle, look through to see the dead folk. gaze in wonder she does in a dream crunching distractedly. wonder who they are. where they go. when they breathe. sigh a deep seated understanding; shudder. cold wind blows. put the bowl somewhere, scratch head, thinking of laundry smells meet eyes of some deadman gazing into her eyes. fierce. burning. oh! step back quickly, stumble, fall. breathe in! out! in-out! in-out! shut window. pull blinds. snatch bowl. white water foamy frizzle, drain gurgles. wash bowl in the sink.

notes 46 be that guy on screen buy the most flashy cellphone don’t smoke dope smoke in your eyes but who gives a fuck. I want that. I want what? gawd knows but I want it now! outta my way you dead rats I’m coming through! smash pane break glass, tear hair, rip system mind bovine herded by some white hat dildo. there’s nothing in there really - just straw. strike a match burn my pathetic effigy no phoenix bullshit. dead is dead is all.

(brittle eggshell) weather come and go. cold. steeled by consistent change. circumstances measure action, run, stay fit. harden body eggshell brittle the soul maybe but not mine, no thanks i don’t want a share of the pie. eat it yourself. please do. stuff your face. be my guest – i don’t give a shit. rather climb a mountain or smth. no woman as hot as her - she’s my kind. and get her i will - go figure. flabby flabby sitting tight, on your sofa burning bright. glaze of tv black and white no more HD, 3D might. asshole. don’t you see?

(consumer heaven) please consume. please buy that everyday. happiness is there. not here. silly boy! who told you that? some god man? haha! what an absurd idea! the truth is here in this package. buy it - 100 bucks only. but of course this is a small dose. now, if you want happiness for life, you need to buy this one! sure try it out. i’ll give you a free sample. store it in the fridge and suck on it a little a day. we care about you. and we’re not like the others, trying to squeeze every rupee out of you. sure we have psychologists studying your every move but hey - this is the information age! and surveillance is for your protection. white capped fake neta’s only gonna be in trouble. watch your step. do that. but relax, life is beautiful. tri colour HD 3D! it’s your life, buy it large!

(ape-man) all change exponential and linearity doesn’t exist. just another objective monkey-model in pursuit of some scientific religion. highest in the food chain, born to rule all earth. supreme creation by some vague creator. hierarchy chart on a brilliant white monolith. concise crisp. demarcations. positions. powers. but where are the people? crunch! bite that potato chip. whose hand in that? i did this, she thought that, he said this, they assumed that, told their neighbours this; and by now noone knows who i am. fission reaction. uncontrolled gone mad. short-circuit control and learn. yield energy complex infinite. but never forget I’m another scratching ape.

(dynamic control) self sufficiency and determination. constancy in a mind hole stuck. oh he’s changed! i loved him then, but now he’s a monster. Hypocrisy, flexibility, ineptitude, power to mold, yield. Think. Act. Move beyond usual spheres into proto-originals. fuck originality there’s nothing left to be said. only place left to explore is the past - monkey brain with its monstrous magicks. dunno when but then it was golden. or so the artists tell me. change is consistent, required necessary action in a socially dislocated mind. surge through, forward march, rule the dying. kill the dead. conserve resources for those strong enough to live. speak in a million tongues blink with a billion eyes. epicenter of oblivion, lead by actions this mindless cancer to heaven.

(following a vision) It’s boring. Nobody knows a thing anyway so why should i? People say what they feel like cuz they’re stuck in their own constraints. Maybe their boundaries are too constricted for you? So may as well do what you wanna do. You’re on some sort of a breakthrough. Like that brown athlete running out of the system altogether. That’s where the energy is. Sorry-ass people who’ve been bludgeoned by life settle for the lesser – entertainment, engagement, sharing the pain, crying on each other’s shoulders and stupid shit like that. But you’re young and there’s a point to youthful folly. And at that point of pure-crackling-searing-energy there is no other, nothing else but you. And you like that place. So why not explore it? Push it further and further. But to what end? Only time can tell. and I.

(grey, red and blue) on your way back from work today, you stop at the chemist’s. walk in with a concealed sheepishness that noone else notices. only you and i know. like that time when you had to go buy some condoms with your girlfriend standing carefully around the corner. order those pills of yours - grey little pellets, drab and dead looking. but looks can be deceiving, you know. insignificant stuff but the world’s tripping on it the guys who know what’s going on - or do they? cuz, you realize, all those damn kids are taking it these days too - and tripping to daft punk. cuffed hands and starched collars turn a blind eye. maybe some horrible govt. conspiracy - who knows? get home, follow the ususal routine you’ve learnt to glaze over by now - how was your day, touch hand/back, i love you. quickly slip into the loo, into your world where boundaries are infinite. take out those pills - you wonder today, are they really some hand me downs to the destined? cuz they look so insignificant they could’ve been anything really - boring stuff like apple falls to the ground, smoke rises, winter’s cold etc. or maybe they aren’t really grey, i suggest. maybe it’s you who sees it as grey. you swim back and look around the room at aunt’s hips and sarees. a golden afternoon. some sort of party or gathering. you’re holding an apple and you wonder, is this apple not really red? do these people see this red as the same red i’m seeing? and what if red is really blue and all the people of this world have some impairment that makes them see it as blue? is there any way to tell? you look around and wonder if you can ask your mother about this new predicament but hesitate. they will only think you’re a silly little boy saying things that silly little boys do. the people in the room mill about. you choose instead, to bite into the apple.

(system navigator) You’re getting some hits on to your IP. sure it’s for him too but he’s just a pawn, you’re the big guy who wins. a shining light! do that thing you’re doing and it’ll turn out well, if not absolutely fucking proper! and then you’ll get bigger, pick up more experience points and kill more badass-guys with more badass-weapons and then some more experience points…….. and there’s the catch really, you noticed. so then naturally, pawn’s only way out is to break some rules - skitter over the chessboard or something. but careful, don’t let me go off the board.

(argumentative balloons) rumours are rife. some cunt doing such and such some bastard saying this and that. political discussions, news debates. spittle flying off stage into my eyes. jesus christ! a hopeless lot, we indulge in petty crimes. argumentative indians - we talk. hot air balloon rises, fizzles and is carried over to some arctic landscape to freeze to death. boneless chilly chicken. how about dumb indians instead? how about dumb bastards all of us? of course not! i’m never dumb. i’m smart! they are dumb, the little incompetent fools.

BIOGRAPHY

Pratap N Deb from Assam, India. 25 years old. Designer. Also making music and writing poetry.