THE “GONE GIRL” GIRL By Patrick Fisackerly LIGHTS UP ON: EXT. APARTMENT - DAY ROSE - mid-20s - exits her apartment. She breathes in the air. MUSIC begins to play. ROSE (sings) There are things that I don’t know Like how rain turns into snow Or how everyone can fit here On the world How do limes turn into lemons? What should I do with these persimmons? She produces persimmons then tosses them away. ROSE (CONT’D) (sings) But the thing I’ll never know at all Is the ending of the movie Gone Girl The music picks up, and Rose begins walking down the street, nodding to neighbors as she passes. This is an idyllic town, the kind that only existed in the ‘50s of nostalgic cinema. ROSE (CONT’D) (sings) I’ve never been much of an Affleck fan His acting’s too mannered for me You expect me to care, it’s Just Neil Patrick Harris “Well, he’s great!” Well I just don’t agree The townspeople start singing “Ahhhs” to back her up. ROSE (CONT’D) (sings) I don’t need a convincer About David Fincher I know that his movies are great But I’m sick of this prestige-y, Give in a rest, he Should just make a movie like Ei8ht MAILMAN Like a sequel to Se7en?

2.

Yup!

ROSE

A friendly neighbor hands her the book. ROSE (CONT’D) (sings) No I won’t give a look into reading the book I’m not sure why you all must persist Rose throws the book and it hits a cat O.S. (classic). ROSE (CONT’D) (sings) No I don’t think it’s novel To structure a novel With all of these turnings and twists People start surrounding Rose. ROSE (CONT’D) (sings) Now I have your attention I just want to mention To you tyrants and try-hards and toilers This is not just pretend I don’t care how it ends NEIGHBOR She fakes her own death. SPOILERS!

ROSE BLACKOUT