The HOWL story. BACKGROUND: Help Overcome World Loneliness (HOWL) is an initiative which Vanessa Hawkins from Central Victoria is passionate about. After being blown up by a nearby mining company (which is a whole other story), Vanessa bought 300 acres on the edge of the Wellsford State Forest. Soon after, the mining company discovered gold on the other side of her and as a consequence have dumped 45,000 cubic meters of rock on her land. She has turned this waste dump into a massive outdoor facility which will seat over 10,000 people. Known as the Gold Fields Stadium, Vanessa wants to put her property and ideas to good use. Vanessa’s own life is a story of trials and tribulations, overcoming adversity and prejudices, and turning every negative into a positive. Her own philosophies, personal and professional experiences after seventeen years of nursing, friends committing suicide and living with a sufferer of depression for seven years urges her on to raise awareness of how we as a community can put a stop to the negativity which allows this insidious condition from manifesting itself, undermining our community structure and destroying so many lives. Vanessa has formed The Green Light Foundation to help convey her message. The mission of this organization is to create ‘an environmentally friendly organization which helps to give hope and direction to people’. There are currently four initiatives which she is working on and now invites collaboration with other organizations; 1. HOWL is a musical concert with popular bands, extreme sports displays and a dance floor which will attempt to break several world dance records – a. Having the most number of people on a dance floor at one time, b. Longest time for a single and a couple on the floor, c. Other variations on specialties depending on support from groups and feasibility.

2. World Dance Day – will invite all people in all countries to dance wherever they are. Governments will be encouraged to support and promote and where possible a HOWL concert can be held at the same time.

3. The Green Light Seminar Series is a national tour of motivational speakers promoting positivity and possibilities. There would be a number of workshops organized to follow the main events which offer advice and guidance about different subjects such as youth and parenting, relationships and a healthy marriage, attitudes and life’s journey etc

4. Establish PODS (Parents & Partners Of Depression Sufferers) to help with understanding, offer support and to share the grief. There is a lot of help for the sufferer but there doesn’t seem to be much for the carer. Living with a depressive Mike was working at the nearby gold mine. He visited my house frequently to install the noise and dust monitors as well as ensure my safety every time they blasted, which was once or twice a week. This continued for about six months as I sought legal counsel regarding my precarious situation, living one hundred meters from their gold mine. This is a whole other story which has been written but not to get distracted, I got to know Mike well during this time although there was an ethical barrier due to my legal dispute with his employer. As things came to a head with proceedings we would joke about having a drink or two when it was all over. He was nice looking, extremely intelligent, physically fit and quite shy. Once the agreements and contracts where signed, the pressure was off. The company suggested we celebrate with dinner on them. The evening elevated our friendship to another level and our relationship grew from there. Both of us had endured hard and emotional turmoil, the story of which is told in the Mining Story. We relished the solace and comfort of each others company not needing to stray far away from our own company or space. Six months into our relationship, I felt that we needed to move on and started to crank things up with projects and social activities. Mike seemed reluctant to follow. It concerned me that he spent all his time in bed reading the paper or working long hours at the computer. He always had to have noise around him, with the radio or television constantly blaring. His sister’s birthday was the catalyst for meeting his family. They were all lovely and very welcoming. My family had met Mike and they were accepting and patient with him although I questioned his reclusive behavior and lack of friends. I thought it was odd that when his family came down to visit that he remained in the bedroom with his newspaper. No one else seemed to mind, which I found really strange and difficult to tolerate. I suggested that we seek medical advice. My GP referred Mike to a psychiatrist. After several unhelpful sessions we stopped going however Mike did continue to take his medications, which seemed to make some difference. We also consulted with a psychologist and a counselor but although he was a willing participant, I never felt as if he really wanted to change. He revealed that prior to our relationship, he had started going to church, attending self assertive workshops and learning to do lead lighting. His mood swings were erratic and when he was good, he was great, funny, bubbly and entertaining. He was very loving and totally devoted to me and my projects which were just so important to me. It was

really the first time I had ever experienced that level of support. It was the increasingly frequent unshaven, disheveled appearance which bothered me as well as the sullenness and long periods of silence. I really wanted to help him and for him to be happy. He worked long hours which gave me a reason to accept his weekend behavior of spending hours inside in front of the television, reading or sleeping. However, this was difficult because we were building on the 300 acres and there was so much to do. There were several incidents which began to change the relationship. Things came to a head when six months after moving into the house, (none of the sheds were finished so there was no storage except underneath the stilted house) we experienced the worst floods in over 100 years. We had to evacuate everything from under the house. Several months later we had a repeat incident and had to stop the foundations of the house from getting wet as well as the hay stored in the shed. Whilst friends worked with me to make and stack sand bags, dig drains and build bund walls, Mike remained in front of the TV. When he cracked the grumps he would not talk to me for weeks, sometimes nearly six weeks at a time. Other extreme behavior included screaming and shouting loudly. Sometimes he would head off in his car at fast speed in the middle of the night, spinning the wheels in the driveway. We would drive six hours to see his family and hardly speak. He was antagonistic at the dinner table when we had guests, always proving his point and arrogantly being right at all times which was embarrassing and sometimes confronting. If I had clients up to look at the horses, he would come out of the bedroom, make himself a cup of coffee and return with no more than a grunt of acknowledgement and slamming doors. Mikes behavior became so distressing and I did not know where to turn or what to do. I felt as if I couldn’t take him out socially, concerned about how he would behave and that he would drink too much. Some mornings I would wake up next to him, to find him in foetal position, sobbing. It was then that I thought about forming PODS (Parents & Partners Of Depression Sufferers) but didn’t have the energy at the time. I tried so many different ways to create harmony between us. I would try the reverse psychology and tell him that I was the one with the problem and ask him to help me. Despite being an effort and contrary to my personality, I would try matching him with the long periods of silence or the yelling but he was always better. I tried to get advice from his sister and step mother and began to see a familiar pattern as well as a possible cause for his behaviour. His mother had suffered with pancreatic cancer and died when he was eight and he was not permitted to attend the funeral. Her carer then married his father and they had another three children in addition to Mike and his three siblings. Mike’s older brother, Bob was also being treated for his disturbing behavior. He was like a gorgeous big teddy bear, so warm and affable. He was always actively crusading and pioneering all sorts of projects. I suspect that his older sister was also suffering but to proud to seek help. All four of them were so intelligent and I am sure that there is a connection between brilliance and insanity.

In 2002, the whole family was planning to come down to stay for Easter. The week before they were due to arrive, Bob was admitted into the psych unit of Canberra hospital. He had been saying things like “not enough was being done to save the world and that his only alternative was to sit at the right hand of God, the father …”. He became worse, apparently becoming violent and was transferred into the high dependency section and heavily medicated. On the Thursday, he had finished a cup of tea with the staff and informed them that he was going to lie down. According to our information, a visitor (who happened to be a doctor) became suspicious after no one had checked him and he had been lying still with the bed sheets over his head for about forty minutes. The visitor pulled back the sheet and discovered a blackened, unconscious Bob with a plastic bag over his head and rubber bands around his neck. The alarm was raised and he was resuscitated then transferred into ICU. We all rushed to his bedside in total horror and disbelief. Over the next few days, Bob’s condition deteriorated to the point that the medical team pronounced him clinically dead. We were all called into a meeting to form a plan and to discuss the option of organ donation. Even after years of nursing and dealing with death and grief on the ward, I had never experienced such an intense situation. I remember someone saying something about Bob being into recycling and we sort of laughed. Then his girlfriend burst into tears and said “I just want someone to have Bob’s heart!” and we all cried. With organ donation, the family has to sign off on each organ and it seems that this is despite the wishes of the deceased, so make sure that your wishes are well known. Apparently the corneas are the hardest to obtain because people don’t want their loved ones eyes altered as they are the gateway to the soul. I came home adamant that everyone knew I was an organ donor and to take my corneas first! The paperwork was drawn up, the forms were signed and we went home to plan his funeral. We arranged a farewell service at Bob’s bedside, which was really hard because he was still alive, warm and breathing albeit mechanically. The organ retrieval team had to be flown in from around the country and at 2am, Mike youngest brother drove to the hospital to escort Bob on his final journey to the operating theatre. The next few days were filled with grief as we desperately tried to think of all the people who needed to be contacted as well as hilarity as everyone contributed ideas and memories to create the funeral proceedings. On the morning of Bob’s funeral most of us went to see him to pay our last respects in silence and in private. He was dressed in his bike pants, a psychedelic shirt, a black vest and a bow tie. His coffin was decorated with a collage of photos. It was a jovial sight. In the church the pulpit was decorated with Bob’s favourite things including his push bike, his back pack, his frisbee and camping cappuccino maker. Over 450 people tried to find a seat with many having to resort to standing outside. Chosen speakers shared the life and times of Bob Beatty. Then there was an invitation to others who may wish to talk. Several ventured bravely to the front and spoke one by one of their friendship with Bob and how he had helped them when they were living on the street and addicted to drugs. It was an incredibly moving experience which still affects me. It was also an amazing

celebration of someone’s life but such a shame that it had all ended so short and what a waste. Our lives and our community is less without Bob Beatty. Life back at home seemed to continue on just the same. The experience with Bob’s death rocked me and I felt raw and disturbed for ages. Mike appeared unaffected which concerned me but he was so withdrawn and sullen anyway, it was hard to tell what he was feeling. He sought help for his sleep apnoea and began to sleep with mask. He attended an anger management group for men but only went once. He continued to drink and smoke heavily. The arguments and long periods of silence continued and I was at a loss. I could feel myself being dragged down with him and knew that I couldn’t allow this to happen, something had to give. Mike drove me to visit the surgeon after carpal tunnel surgery on both hands and we listened to the football for the three hours drive down there. Half way home I asked him if we could change the channel, to which he declined. I find it difficult to listen to any constant noise especially incessant, highly charged men’s voices commentating on any sport, so I suggested that if he was not prepared to change the channel or turn the radio off, that maybe he could drop me off at Spencer St station and I would catch the train home. Unbelievably, Mike chose to drive me to the station. Not long after this episode, Mike packed his bags and moved out. We tried to deal with it as a respite but in reality things were never going to change. He started seeing someone else soon after and was married within six months. He started working in a mine in China and apparently the marriage didn’t last either. I hope he has been able to find happiness somewhere because life is way to short to be unhappy.

The Canberra Times

Staff urged to help police, coroner told BY KATHARYN BRINE 27 Jun, 2002 07:12 AM

Canberra Hospital staff to cooperate with police investigating the death of mental-health advocate Robert Beatty, the territory's chief psychiatrist told the ACT Coroner's Court yesterday. Mr Beatty, 47, had been an involuntary patient in the high-dependency unit of Canberra Hospital's psychiatric ward when he was found with a plastic bag secured over his head with rubber bands in April last year. He died in intensive care three days later. During that time, the scene had been cleaned and the opportunity to collect forensic evidence had been lost. Some staff had also refused to talk to police at the time, the court has heard.

The long-running inquest into his death before Chief Coroner Ron Cahill resumed yesterday with Associate Professor Cathy Owen saying despite the inadvertent clean-up of the room in which Mr Beatty died, great efforts had been made to expedite the investigation. She said police were given early access to the unit and to staff. This reiterated their willingness to assist police. Staff had then made a range of individual preferences about talking to police. The court has previously heard the doctor who found Mr Beatty had refused to talk to police after being directed not to. Other staff had declined to be interviewed by police because they had been advised to provide statements to the government solicitor first. As such, counsel assisting the Coroner Ken Archer had said an atmosphere of suppression and cover-up was created because police were unable to rule out the possibility Mr Beatty was murdered. Staff statements have since been provided to the court. Professor Owen said yesterday there were clear ethical and confidentiality constraints about deciding whether to report near-death incidents of self-harm to police. She said until it was legislated, she considered it a breach of client confidentiality. Mr Cahill said this was one of the main issues which needed to be clarified. From an investigative viewpoint, it was more important to ensure the protection of a potential crime scene.

Legislative Assembly, Canberra Thursday, 3 May 2001 MR SPEAKER (Mr Cornwell) took the chair at 10.30 am and asked members to stand in silence and pray or reflect on their responsibilities to the people of the Australian Capital Territory. Death of Robert Beatty Condolence Motion MS TUCKER: Mr Speaker, I move: That the Assembly expresses its deep regret at the death of Robert (Bob) Beatty, who made a significant contribution to the causes of sustainable energy, socially responsible industry, and mental health services and advocacy; and tenders its profound sympathy to his family and friends in their bereavement. Bob Beatty's death over Easter this year was and is cause for deep sadness and great distress. I feel it is a great privilege to move this motion of condolence in the Legislative Assembly today.

Bob Beatty died on 15 April aged 46. He has left behind not only his family but also an extraordinary range of friends and associates who, without exception, remember him as generous, optimistic, and forward thinking. Bob's legacy will never be more apparent than at his funeral at Ainslie All Saints Church on Monday, April 23. Although a profoundly sad occasion, it was, like Bob, marked by humour, generosity, and hope. It was conducted very much in and with his spirit, and was an extraordinary celebration of his life, with over 400 people attending. Bob's family spoke eloquently about the young Robbie growing up in Darwin and then Canberra, his shining intelligence, his fearlessness, his enthusiasm and his warmth. University colleagues spoke of Bob's buoyancy and confidence, his academic and sporting prowess, his energy and good humour. It was clear, from the beginning, that Bob really was an exceptional character who gave generously on every front. Bob's shift from electrical engineering to journalism reflected his commitment to activism, and to using his skills and understanding to effect real change in how we organise our society. He was a brilliant and insightful writer for industry publications including Engineers Australia, ERT Energy News, National Constructor and Business Daily, and radical in his time for campaigning for environmental and ethical responsibility. Bob was instrumental in founding the Society for Social Responsibility in Engineering, which was active in the 1980s. As virtually the founding editor of Electricity Week in 1987, Bob created a publication which leapt beyond the bounds of public relations to set the Australian standard for industry newsletters. As Hugh Saddler wrote in an obituary published in the publication last Thursday. WHY, WHY, WHY ….. does someone as dynamic and as affable as Bob, take his own life when they still have so much to offer?

IN SUMMARY My opinion is that we have a serious and insidious syndrome creeping into our societies, eroding relationships and families, destroying lives and costing businesses billions in productivity. Let’s call it depression. It has to stop. The only beneficiaries are the medical and pharmaceutical industries. They call it a chemical imbalance but we create the chemicals and have up to a point, a choice which ones are created by our bodies. We need to increase the awareness of this syndrome and how it manifests itself. More importantly we need to educate people on how to prevent it because prevention is better than the cure! We need to start by promoting HAPPINESS, SELF CONFIDENCE & FULFILLMENT and how a positive attitude and approach to life will greatly reduce the incidence of negative thinking and thus depression. We have generations to catch up on and must focus on parenting and the environment in schools. The message of HOWL, the howl of laughter rather than sadness must reach the people of the world.