THE

TRIBE HOWARD ROARK

Copyright © 2017 HOWARD ROARK All rights reserved.

HOWARD ROARK

MEET PAULA The cafe was slowly getting crowded and I was beginning to feel uncomfortable. Usually at this time the place was mostly empty, so the hustle and bustle surprised me. Architecturally speaking, there was nothing special about this place. The light brown birch tables and chairs and the nature prints on the walls gave the cafe a pleasant but prosaic vibe. I liked the large frameless windows that spanned from table level to ceiling. The light made me feel as if I was sitting outside while still being just an observer, set apart from the world. Lately I’d started to hate the noise of the city. The only reason I came to the Wake Me Up Cafe on my lunch break was because it was never full at this time and their small selection of food was delicious. Here I could get at least some semblance of quiet from the office. Choose a lonely corner and watch the world outside the glass. Not give a fuck. I glanced at the glossy menu which sat in a small wooden holder on my table, although I didn’t need to. They only had two kinds of soups and two salads available and that suited me just fine. I was tired of choice. Tired of wading through ten pages of a menu and feeling like I’d picked the wrong dish. I wanted things simpler, besides, recently I felt nauseous whenever I ate. My stomach would twist and clench and I’d sometimes rush to the bathroom and spend a few lurching moments bent over the toilet, waiting for the reappearance of whatever I’d just eaten. There was free food of course at Meganetworld, the corporation where I worked. But sitting inside eating with my colleagues made the sick feeling return. I couldn’t stand one more second listening to the sounds of their voices. I doubted any of them could stand the sound of mine either. None of us liked working there but we didn’t have much choice. There weren’t a lot of companies left out there that paid you so well for doing so little. 3

THE TRIBE

I feel nothing but numbness. Do you feel it too? Do you sit in the shadow of corporations like Meganetworld...with its branches like a giant tree, poking its roots everywhere, its sticky, slimy tendrils in almost every country on the planet? Are you part of it? One among the many? I sipped my coffee and watched the people passing by. My face felt frozen, the muscles around my eyes fatigued. Lately my sleep had been all over the place. Some weeks I had phases where I could hardly sleep and phases when I could only just manage to get out of bed even after spending all day and night there. After a while the days and nights blurred into one another, and it was harder and harder to tell the difference between them. Maybe that was why I kept coming to Wake Me Up Cafe. Maybe I hoped it would somehow jolt me out of the depression I’d fallen into. Or maybe it was simply that sitting in a canteen with thousands of other people who were supposedly my colleagues was not how I’d imagined my work life would be. I received on average 300 emails each day and 290 of them had nothing to do with me. The cc culture was very popular inside Meganetworld. You wanted to show others you were doing something. Some days I swore to myself if another colleague answered a group email with: “Noted” I’d go and punch them right in the face, or better, break his fingers so he could never hit the: “Reply all” button again. Of course, in reality, I knew I would never do that. I didn’t even have the guts anymore to ask for leave when my kids were sick. They lived across the city with my ex-wife and I’d see them as often as I could. Even that never seemed to break the emptiness that had settled over me. I felt guilty about it, but in a detached sort of way. I was 42 and had no idea what to do with my life. When I’d got married and had kids I’d thought that was the answer. That being a parent would give me the meaning in my life that was missing. But in time I realised I didn’t feel that way. After my wife and I divorced I decided to go and work in Africa. It was at that point my “I don't give a fuck” zombie life started. Even though it hurt to be away from my family in the beginning the feelings of hopelessness seeped into everything. If I had no idea what I was doing on this contaminated planet of ours, what was I supposed to teach my kids 4

HOWARD ROARK

about what they should do with their life? All I could feel was guilt for bringing them into this messed up world. The tables were slowly filling up as more people came into the cafe. My chest began to tighten. I hated having strangers sitting at my table while I was eating. I came to this place to watch humanity, not to be forced into the kind of interactions I had to endure in the Meganet canteen. Then she walked in. Her hair was long and brown with bright orange highlights. She was tall and skinny. Expensive clothes. A scarf around her face. She stood in the doorway and scanned the room. Every seat was filled apart from the three at my table. She shrugged slightly and then began to make her way towards where I was sitting. My chest thudded now and I fought the urge to swear out loud. For one crazy moment I wanted to grab the chairs and hide them. A laugh echoed in my head. A beautiful woman was making her way across the cafe towards me and all I could think was ‘great, my lunch break is ruined.’ And she was beautiful. As she got closer I could see the way the light brown freckles patterned her face. I loved women with freckles. To me freckles were like the letters of a book, waiting for someone to learn how to read them. They fascinated me. She reached my table and up close I could see how incredibly skinny she was. Like a fashion model, all bones and angles. My mouth turned down. I hated the fashion world and all it represented. I hated getting to know strangers. I hated the world I lived in. ‘Can I sit here?’ she asked. Her voice was soft, like the soil between autumn trees. I looked into her warm eyes and hesitated. She smiled, and a slight challenge entered her eyes. I cleared my throat. ‘Yes, of course.’ She sat down and I realised she was nervous as she rummaged in her bag and checked the time on her smartphone. Should I tell her that the contents of her bag won’t save her from the world? Do you think it would make a difference to her?

5

THE TRIBE

She kept glancing towards the door of the cafe. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from her face, and when she looked up and caught me watching her I flushed. I looked down at the table. She was making knots of her fingers, twisting them together. Her hands were thin and her skin looked like bleached parchment. I could see the bones sticking out, there was barely any fat or muscle covering them. Eventually she rested them on the table, fingers spread, as though she was taking a lie detector test. She had pen marks on the back of her left hand, two letters, a capital V and D. The lines of the letters were neat and straight, they looked too carefully drawn to just be a simple reminder or hastily drawn note. I felt my curiosity increase. A few more minutes went by and the silence between us began to become unbearable. I felt torn. I had just ordered my salad and I knew it would take a while, service at this place was very slow and usually I didn't care. But her sitting so near to me made me uneasy. I was sorely tempted to just get up and go but to my surprise I found myself speaking. ‘If you want to order food you should know it takes a while here.’ She slowly turned her head and her face was impassive, as though she had forgotten I was there. She blinked slowly and then said, ‘I think I will only have a tea,’ before looking away. I felt the flush return. Why do we feel forced to start up a conversation with a stranger? She invaded my comfort zone. We’re sat too close to avoid each other. But no, all she wants to do is stare at the door. God I’m going to have to make small talk with her, aren’t I? ‘Are you from Berlin?’ She shrugged. ‘Kind of.’ I swallowed my annoyance. Ok, what else did I have in my “standard questions” drawer? ‘How do you spend your time here?’ She looked at me sharply and then sighed. The sigh had pain in it. ‘Doing nothing.’ Without thinking I asked a standard corporate slave question. ‘Can you afford that?’ ‘Afford what?’ ‘Doing nothing?’ 6

HOWARD ROARK

‘Yes, my family sold their company a few years ago and I inherited some hundreds of millions.’ That stopped me in my tracks. She said it without either pride or shame. Like it was nothing to do with her. I felt stuck. What should I ask her now? What topic might a beautiful millionaire in her mid-twenties be interested in? I couldn’t think of anything more to say so instead I looked out of the window and imagined what I would do if someone gave me some hundreds of millions. Would I buy a big house by the sea? A yacht? Travel around the world? We love that, right? Those fantasies of fabulous wealth. Being able to do anything. Don’t tell me you haven’t wasted at least several hours of your life this year alone wondering what you would do if you were one of them. The 1%. All that power. Don’t tell me you don’t want it, strive for it, dream about it. ‘What are you doing in Berlin?’ I swallowed, trying to remind myself to be polite. It was a virtue I was finding increasingly difficult as the years went on at Meganetworld. ‘Good question. I ask myself that every morning when I look at the mirror.’ Unexpectedly, she smiled. There was tiredness in it, but it felt genuine. Like she knew what I was talking about. Like she asked herself the same question. I tentatively smiled back as she turned her body to face mine, nodding slightly as though she wanted me to go on. I glanced back down at the table and realised her left hand was still glued to it, the VD on display. I thought about asking her what it meant but something stopped me. ‘I am an architect. I came back from Africa a few months ago. Now I work for Meganetworld.’ I said. She leaned in a little when I said “Africa”. It wasn’t unexpected. People always did that when you mentioned you’d been there. I could never understand it, this fascination with Africa. All I saw there was rubbish and poverty. ‘What did you do in Africa?’ she asked. ‘Built health facilities.’ She smiled. ‘Oh, that must have been -’ Disappointing? Shit? The exact opposite of what I thought it would be? Let me tell you a little something about how humanitarian aid really works. You arrive thinking you’re there to help people. Maybe you have a saviour complex. Maybe you’re just one of the few decent ones left. Whatever it is, you’re sure you’re doing a Good Thing. Then a few weeks go by and you get the lay of the land. You realise your actual job is to help burn the budgets of UN agencies who are constantly under pressure to spend their millions before the end of 7

THE TRIBE

the year. Some bureaucrats in New York allocate the millions to different countries that are in economic and political crisis. Then the bureaucrats based in those countries allocate funds to different projects that have been proposed from the - highly paid - bureaucrats in the field. You watch these bureaucrats use their incompetence to ensure less than 20% of the funds ever reach the people in need. You stand helpless, while they spend most of their time driving around in Toyota Landcruisers before writing reports no one ever reads. Another piece of you dies. ‘I quit.’ My voice was flat. ‘Why did you quit?’ ‘Humanitarian Aid is a broken system. We’re spending billions with no effect. It needs to be reinvented. Why are you interested? Were you thinking of giving your millions to charity?’ I knew I was sounding arrogant. Aggressive. But part of me hated her. Hated that she was born pretty and a millionaire and I was born average and constantly having to kiss other people´s asses to pay my bills. I expected her to get defensive. Angry, even. But to my surprise she nodded calmly and held my furious gaze. ‘I know what you’re thinking. Look at her. Rich and happy. No idea of how lucky she is.’ She laughed, but it was a hollow sound. ‘If you only knew what I’ve been through. For me wealth has been a curse. A few months ago I tried to end it all. If it wasn't for a friend I wouldn’t be sitting here and talking to you now. He called an ambulance just in time when he found me with open wrists and blood everywhere…’ Her eyes filled with tears but she didn’t look away. She was challenging me now, daring me to hear the rest. I looked down. I didn’t want to hear it. Sure money doesn't buy you happiness blah blah blah, but did she have any idea what it’s like to live without it? Did she know what it is like to have to show up every day at the same place at 7am and be trapped there until 6pm? Every hour stretching like infinity. Sitting at a desk doing a completely meaningless job, pretending to be busy when you have nothing to do? Did she know what it is like to have to swallow your pride and tell your manager how smart he is while he’s berating you for being stupid? Pretending to be grateful to him for giving you a job that made some anonymous boss even wealthier than he was already?

8

HOWARD ROARK

She kept staring at me. There was something calm in her gaze. A warmth radiated from her. It confused me. I wanted to keep her in the box I’d set out for her. The box labelled “all rich people are assholes.” But the way she was looking at me wouldn’t let me. ‘Why on earth did you want to take your life?’ I said finally. What a hypocritical question that was. I was at a point in my life where it felt doing just that would be the most meaningful thing I could do. She ran her hands through her hair. ‘To understand that you would have to listen to all of my story. I don't think-’ There was a rustle next to us. Two people were standing by our table. I jolted in my seat. Where had they come from? I stared at them. He was tall, his body obscured by a long gray jacket. He had pitch black curly hair and a slightly weathered face. I guessed he was about my age. She was chubby with long red wavy hair. It looked dyed. Her lips were smeared with bright red lipstick. I felt my fists clench. What the hell are they doing looking at us? I couldn’t take yet more strangers at my lunch table. The man spoke first. His voice was low and betrayed little emotion. ‘Hi, Paula.’ Paula fidgeted in her seat. ‘Hi. Thanks for coming.’ Paula was clearly even more nervous now. She half stood up and reached out awkwardly to shake hands with them both. Suddenly all three turned to look at me, as if someone had commanded them to. Paula waved her hand towards me. ‘Sorry, there was no other free table. This place is normally empty at this time. I don't know why it’s so full today.’ The way she said it made me feel as though I was the intruder rather than the other way round. I felt so out of place that I slowly stood up, feeling ashamed somehow. For a moment no one said anything and then the corporate drone in me took over. I pulled my mouth up into a fake smile and took a business card out of my wallet. ‘Well, great to meet you. Here’s my business card in case you’re ever in need of an architect.’ She smiled at me gratefully, as though thanking me for understanding. I nodded and went over to the counter to pay my bill. After a few minutes the girl behind the counter distractedly took my payment and I made my way to the cafe door. I couldn’t resist one last look over at Paula and the man and woman who were now sat at the table with her. They were deep in conversation, my card on the table where I left it. Forgotten. 9

THE TRIBE

THE EMAIL The incident at the Wake Me Up Cafe played on my mind for days. I’d felt something which had jolted me out of my numbness although I struggled to identify just what it was. A spark of hope, perhaps. I went back to the cafe on my lunch break every day for two weeks, telling myself it was just because I liked the ambience. But I couldn’t help glancing up at the door every time it opened. Every now and then I would see a woman with brown hair and a flash of orange and despite myself I’d feel my heart thump. But it was never her. The days turned into weeks and then months until one day I realized if anything I’d become worse. Every morning I went to the 30-storey Meganetworld building. Smiled at all my colleagues like I gave a fuck that they existed, even though I couldn’t have cared less. Counted the minutes till the end of the day and then went home to my empty apartment to watch YouTube videos, check Facebook, watch porn and drink whiskey till I passed out. And repeat. Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder if there’s anything living behind the eyes that stare back at you? Wonder if that mask you’re wearing is still just a mask? Or if it’s now become who you are. A zombie. A zombie who’s come to terms with being a zombie. At least a year went by since that day with Paula in the Cafe. After it had become apparent she wasn’t returning I stopped going there for my lunch. Instead I trudged into the office canteen, too tired to even leave the building at lunch anymore. All I could manage was the numb routine I’d created. Home to work. Work to home. Nothing in between. I ordered my food online and would barely look at the delivery driver when he arrived. The emptiness dulled my thoughts and eventually I began to forget about Paula and the strange conversation in the Wake Me Up Cafe.

10

HOWARD ROARK

Then one day I saw an email from an address I didn’t recognise in my inbox. “Hi Mr Architect. This is Paula. I hope you remember me. It’s been some time since we met and you gave me your card. I’ll get to the point. I need an architect and you came to mind. I want to build a special building in a very unusual place. Would you be interested?” I stared at the email. My finger hovered over the trash icon for a long moment before I closed it. The email sat in my inbox for three weeks as I battled with myself. I tried to forget it but kept going back, rereading the words and feeling a tiny sliver of panic each time. I was afraid to lose my zombie life. A part of me had accepted it. It was safe. Empty, but safe. Do zombies wonder what it would be like to go back to being alive? Do they secretly wish for it? Or is the thought of feeling the pain of disappointment again too much? The email kept playing on my mind. What did she mean by: a special building in a very unusual place…? I knew she had hundreds of millions and could afford to build anything she wanted anywhere she wanted, but I was just an average architect now. It hadn’t always been like that. I was once the most rebellious of all the students when I was learning. My designs were crazy, everyone talked about them. They would drive the professors to their limit as they saw what I’d come up with next. I loved surprising them with each new design, each wilder than the last. But as the years passed by the constant berating to “come down to earth” began to eat away at that creative fire. As each year went by my designs got safer and more in line with what others told me was acceptable, until every design I did bored me. In the end the only thing that mattered for each design was money. And Meganetworld took it even further. They standardised their designs. All clients needed to do was to choose from the 160,000 design templates that were in their catalogue and as architects all we had to do were small alterations. No creativity needed for that. We prepared standard designs of buildings and adopted them to the location. You could go from New York to Paris, to Mumbai, Johannesburg, Sao Paulo, 11

THE TRIBE

Tokyo, Sydney or Moscow and see exactly the same buildings. Built by Meganetworld. So Paula’s request for “a special building in a very unusual place” sounded like the kind of task that neither I, nor most of the architects I knew, could do any longer. We’d lost the ability to start designing a building from scratch. Working for Meganetworld meant killing any creativity that was still inside us. Thinking creatively wasn’t only not required, it was actively discouraged. New ideas were not welcomed. You were supposed to be just a wheel turning in whichever direction the Management needed you to turn. Nothing more. The price for this was a good salary, health insurance and, after a one year successful probation at Meganetworld, a job for life. Meganet would not fire you, they wanted you to embrace everything about their corporation. Inside each building was everything you needed to keep you entertained - gyms, massage studios, play rooms with billiard tables, kicker and ping-pong tables. In every room they had big colourful slogans on the walls, written in graffiti style: “Be good, be friendly, be Meganet!!” Of course they balanced this garish positivity with other methods to keep their employees in line. Every few weeks we had to take part in courses where we were taught how to ‘behave’. These courses were supposed to help you with your ‘attitude’ and ‘personal and work happiness and productivity.’ In reality we all lived in constant fear of saying something wrong to someone who would run straight to the Manager to report. I had to take a “Express Yourself Correctly” training session one time after I told my colleague that his proposed design of a skyscraper looked like a giant dildo. They ruled us with a combination of numbing us through entertainment and stoking fear of upsetting the management. You might wonder why, if you had a job for life, anyone would be afraid of upsetting the management, but even this concept - of being economically safe, was really just a thinly veiled disguise. You had a job for life if you toed the line. If you were caught doing something that constituted gross misconduct - like stealing or sexual harassment, then you could be fired. They lulled us into a false sense of security when it came to performance and doing what they told us to do. We weren’t safe, and my “transfer to basement” experience brought that home to me in the starkest of ways. 12

HOWARD ROARK

It was true that you couldn’t be fired simply for poor performance - on the surface anyway. Meganetworld had become a monopoly in a huge number of sectors in the world economy, which meant Governments closed their eyes to allow their economic dominance. In return for this they were obliged to hire as many people as possible and not fire them for anything other than gross misconduct. That is why Meganetworld top management had come up with a way to make people go on their own. This is how they do it. Under the 30-storey building are another 4 storeys buried underground. One of those stories is The Basement. A glass prison containing nothing but fully glazed office cubicles. Each cubicle measuring 3m by 3m. In the middle of the cubicle is a cold stainless-steel table and a tiny, uncomfortable chair. Manager doesn’t like you? Thinks you’re not dedicated enough to the company? Then he recommends you get “Transferred to the Basement.” No warnings. One day when you get into work you’re told to report to the basement. You go with your manager in the lift and he shows you to your glass cubicle. Then he leaves you to sit there for the entire day. At the end of the day your manager returns with a one page document which reads: “I voluntarily resign my position at Meganetworld, effective immediately.” The manager asks if you want to sign it. A no results in him politely replying, ‘Thank you for your response. Please report to the basement for work tomorrow. ’Then they repeat the process. Over and over. 9 hours in the glass prison, leaving only to take your lunch in the shitty canteen, where everyone knows you're a Transfer. They don’t dare to communicate with you, in case it happens to them too. After your lonely lunch, back you go to your basement room. Genius, right? How long would you last doing that day in and day out? I heard someone went five weeks once. One morning, about three weeks after Paula’s email, I noticed that the drawings I’d been waiting on from a structural engineer hadn’t arrived. I needed them urgently to complete my assignment so I decided to go and get them in person. He worked on a floor that was several below mine so I took the lift. After a couple of stops the doors swung open and I heard someone talking in a garbled, panicked voice. ‘Please Eric. Please. I have a wife and two kids. I need this job. Please don’t send me to the basement.’ I looked into the corridor and saw two men. One was in his late twenties and the other was around forty. The older man was grabbing onto the younger ones shoulder. He had tears in his eyes. ‘Please,’ he said again, and the younger guy, the one he was calling Eric, simply glanced down at his arm and removed the man’s hand from it. His face was like yoghurt which has just begun to curdle. He stared straight 13

THE TRIBE

ahead, not even bothering to look at the man. I held the door of the lift, unable to tear myself away from the scene. A few moments went by and then the older man’s face sagged completely. He took two steps back and then sank to the floor, sobbing in earnest. I took my finger off the hold door button and the lift door swung shut. It continued to the floor where the structural engineers were. I looked down to see my fingers were shaking. The door opened onto my destination, but I didn’t step out. Instead, I pressed the button for my own floor. My heart was pounding as the lift returned. When it arrived at my floor I didn’t hesitate. I got out of the lift, walked straight to my desk and opened up my emails. I typed. “Dear Paula. I’m very interested. Please let me know where we can meet to discuss.”

14

HOWARD ROARK

THE AGENT The Manager was a graying old man with a large hairy belly that poked out from his faded shirt. One of his defining characteristics was his foul breath, and when he spoke spittle would often collect around the edges of his fleshy lips. Whenever I had to report to him I tried to sit as far away as possible, but sometimes I needed to lean in close as I shared secret information. I always tried to hold my breath as my insides curled at the heat from his sweaty skin. I was on my way to meet him for what I assumed was a new assignment. It was raining as I walked through the city streets and the pools of water collecting in puddles reminded me of his sly smile the day he’d told me my codename. Goby, like the fish. I’d raised my eyebrows and he’d said, ‘Well, you are kind of boyish. For a girl.’ A Goby fish could change its sex from male to female. Another look at his face made me suspect he expected me to find it funny. Or be insulted, take your pick. I felt neither. As far as I was concerned he could call me whatever he liked so long as I only had to put up with him in small doses. Besides, it was true that I had an androgynous vibe. I had a heart-shaped face and large eyes. “Soulful,” a lover once called them. My nose was small and slightly upturned and I had a cupid’s bow mouth. On top of that my frame was tiny, I was slim with barely any hint of curves. I kept my hair shaved, and more than once I’d been mistaken for a teenage boy from behind. It was only when I turned you realised I was a woman. I worked for The Manager in the offices of the Undercover Investigation Department, or as they called it, The “UID” of the Meganetworld branch in Berlin. Their floors were under the “Transfer to Basement” one and only Top Management had any idea they existed. They’d gone to great lengths to make sure it stayed that way. The lifts only went to the “Transfer to Basement” level and the UID had their own lift which went from the 15

THE TRIBE

Ground floor directly to their floors on the 5th and 6th levels. The 6th level was full of servers which hosted Meganetworld’s cyber wars against their competitors. Half of the space of the 5th level was open space where coders worked, and the other half were Agent Managers offices which were all fully sound proofed. Like everyone else who worked on these secret floors, the Agents Managers entered the building through the main entrance, but they would disappear in one of the many halls through a door that could only be opened with a standard access card programmed only for them. The idea was to have Agents Managers look like all the other employees so they could easily disappear in the crowd. The label in the hall entrance said: “Document Storage Room. Restricted Entrance.” UID also took great pains to make sure the identity of their Agents Managers was protected. The Agents Managers went out and recruited their own agents who worked undercover for them. They didn’t keep any documents related to their Recruits and always paid them cash. All communication was encrypted. Everything was deleted on a daily basis. If, as an undercover agent, I was caught, I’d have no evidence that I’d ever worked for Meganetworld. The Manager had spotted me when I was working as a waitress in a restaurant in Munich. He said he’d noticed how smart and personable I was. Sure, I loved to engage in small talk with the customers. They all loved me; amazing what a bit of personal attention could do for your tips. But what really impressed him was my photographic memory. I could recall the faces and names of most clients even when they hadn’t been there in months, and would even remember what they preferred to order. The Manager told me he was intrigued so he checked my criminal record. As an Agent with Meganetworld he could take advantage of the deal they had with the Government to be able to access anyone’s file before they hired them. To his surprise he saw that I was a self-taught hacker. I’d been caught and convicted twice for hacking large companies and even Government servers. Hence, the crappy waitressing job, no one else would touch me with my record. I’d grown up with two younger brothers in an abusive family. My dad was an alcoholic and my mum was a heroin addict. Some of my earliest 16

HOWARD ROARK

memories were of her screaming as he beat her around the face. There were records as long as your arm for petty crimes and police callouts to my address. The Manager had accessed those records, too, he told me with a smile. ‘You’re perfect for what I have in mind,’ he said. A few weeks later he offered me a job that would pay ten times more than my waitress salary and I accepted. I missed the life I’d had before, when I was with my family. Not my screwed-up parents; my anarchist family. Together we’d hacked big corporations and companies. It had been a blast. Up until the day we got arrested. The judge had forbidden me to touch a computer for the next three years which was absolutely absurd when the whole world ran on them. The Manager found me while I was still on parole. He wasn’t stupid, he knew the temptation to get back behind a screen again would be too great for me. Anyhow, the restaurant owner had also known I was on parole; that was why he’d given me the job. Gave him a good excuse to give me humiliatingly shit pay and plague me with a series of “accidental” ass-touches. Working for Meganetworld had never been in my game plan, but it was preferable to waitressing or doing time because I’d smacked the pervert son of a bitch restaurant owner so hard he spat teeth. So, I took the job and to my surprise I loved it. The Manager said I was born to be an agent. So far I’d managed to steal trade secrets for him from some of the biggest corporations in the world. I rounded the corner of a long street and spotted The Manager’s car. He, of course, was sitting inside and I knew he’d never get out and stand in the rain with me. He liked his creature comforts too much. I cursed under my breath as I approached, knowing that this would mean I would have to brave his acrid breath and fleshy body up close. I opened the door of the Audi A8 and slid into the backseat. The stale air made my stomach twist but I forced myself to greet him as pleasantly as I could. He didn’t bother to return my greeting, but instead got straight to the point. ‘Several hundred employees have voluntarily resigned from the Berlin branch of Meganetworld in this year alone. All from different departments. This has never happened before.’ His voice was clipped and I could feel anger pulsating from him. I fought back the urge to retort, ‘What 17

THE TRIBE

do I care? Some more slaves have willingly left their master and their golden cage. So what? Other slaves will take their place. There are plenty out there.’ ‘This points to a dangerous activist group that could pose a serious threat to Meganetworld. The group dates back at least 3 years. You’ve probably heard of ‘Self-Publishing?’ ‘No, I have no idea-’ I said, and The Manager waved his hand at me to wait for him to continue. ‘In the past if you wanted to publish a book you needed a Publishing Company. The heads of this company decided which book they wanted to print, the content to print and when to print it. Nice and controlled. If this small group of people decided your book shouldn’t be published, then you had no chance of it getting printed. Unless you were willing to spend a small fortune on publishing it yourself.’ I nodded, confused as to what any of this had to do with a dangerous activist group. The Manager breathed in and out heavily and the smell in the car intensified. ‘Two years ago, a website appeared which allowed anyone to publish a book and print as many copies as they wanted, for a fraction of the normal cost. This company developed an extremely large and effective printer which can print and bind copies in just 12 minutes. They then put a Guide online showing people how to build a business around it. Hundreds of selfpublishing companies sprang out of the ground and last year Meganetworld had to close down their Publishing Department, a department that was the biggest in the world. Hundreds of millions were lost in revenue. This group seems to be perfectly organised, they obviously know exactly what they are doing. We suspect that the employees who are voluntarily resigning from Meganetworld are joining them. These people have no respect for laws.’ I felt like laughing. A Manger from the most corrupt Corporation in the world was saying those people had no respect for laws. “What a joke. There is no country in this world whose politicians Meganetworld has not bribed. Many of their products are built by child labourers all over the world; from China to Bangladesh, from India to Congo and Nigeria, to Mexico and Argentina. South of Europe has become their radioactive waste dump with the help of corrupt local politicians. Meganetworld pays hardly any taxes in any country. There’s no law they have not broken. Anyway, as long as they pay me, to hell with this world. At least I’m my own boss and I can plan my day how I like.” 18

HOWARD ROARK

If The Manager noticed my amusement he didn’t let on. ‘Now Agent Goby. One agent has noticed that his subjects met people who had the letters V and D on their left hand. They’ve been following them around for some time now but with few results. We need to know if those people are secretly working for our competition. Some of them had pretty senior positions and have important information about Meganetworld. Find out whatever you can as soon as you can. This is really urgent.’ ‘How much time do I have?’ ‘Three months.’ ‘Seriously?! Three months?’ The Manager didn’t bother to look at me again as he answered. ‘Get out of the car. I will contact you.’

19

THE TRIBE

MY TRIBE I pushed open the door to the restaurant with a trembling hand. My mind was in overdrive wondering what to expect from this meeting. I’d played out various scenarios in my head but nothing seemed to fit right. I looked around and then spotted Paula sitting by the window reading a book. I glanced at my watch. I was five minutes early but she’d clearly been sitting there for some time. Slowly I approached and gave a cautious “hi,” wincing at the slight tremor in my voice. Paula looked up and gave me a warm smile, then she stood and stretched out her right arm to hug me. I hesitated for a second then let her put her arm around my back. The gesture confused me, it didn’t tie in with the anxious woman I’d seen all those months before. We sat down and I could see she looked happy and calm. She studied me for a short while, as though she wanted to see if I had also changed. The knowledge that if I had changed it was for the worse made me uncomfortable, so I tried to settle my unease by asking her if she had already ordered. Paula simply nodded and kept smiling. The silence stretched between us until I felt like I had to break it once more. ‘So tell me, how can I help?’ Paula regarded me and then said, ‘How are you?’ How am I? How am I? I don’t know. I’m existing. What about you? My voice was stiff and formal as I answered. ‘I am fine thank you. And you?’ Again the pause stretched as she smiled at me. Finally she cleared her throat. ‘I’m fantastic. No suicidal thoughts. No schizophrenia. No throwing up after eating. No more fake friends. No alcohol. No drugs. No more abusive boyfriends. No need for the love of a selfish father. No sweeteners in whatever I drink. No sleepless nights. No need for the love of a mentally sick mother. No need for the fake high society life. No need for brainless consumption. No more meaningless life.’ She grinned. ‘I have never felt so happy.’ 20

HOWARD ROARK

I felt frozen. First by her machine gun delivery and then by the word “schizophrenia.” It was like ice down my spine. I was suddenly 10 again, sitting in the garden with my uncle while he shouted at people who weren’t there. He’d grabbed my arm and I had shrunk back in fear, even though a few moments later my dad was there, guiding him away. My mind raced. I wanted to get up and walk out before she had a chance to say any more and bring up more painful memories. The words from her email kept repeating themselves to me. “I want to build a special building in a very unusual place.” It sounded like exactly the sort of thing a schizophrenic person might say. Eventually I managed to reply. ‘Oh, well, great. Good to hear that,’ but the way she was speaking unsettled me. Her sudden happiness reminded me of someone who had just found religion. I decided to go hard on her, reasoning if I pushed her and she was in fact hallucinating, I would reveal it more quickly. I made my voice sarcastic. ‘So tell me, Paula, what is the magic trick to your unbelievable happiness?’ Paula nodded at me, as though she could tell exactly what I was thinking. ‘I found my tribe.’ Then she smiled again and turned her head to the huge frameless window, as though the tribe was standing out there and applauding. Her words didn’t help the suspicion that I was talking to someone who wasn’t all there mentally. Was she seeing her “Tribe” standing out there? Were a host of imaginary people silently applauding her for admitting that she had found them? All her words were doing was convincing me I was talking to a schizophrenic. Did she even know where she was? Was she imagining being in the Amazon Rainforest, with half naked people telling folktales around a big fire, a Tribe to go hunting with, holding spears and bows? I cursed myself for agreeing to meet her. Paula raised an eyebrow at me. ‘I know what you’re thinking. No, I’m not hallucinating. I have found my Tribe. I’ve found real love. I’ve found meaning. And I am so grateful that I want to share this revelation with others and give back to my tribe some of what they have given to me.’ She waved her arm expansively before continuing. ‘How could we humans forget where we came from? How could we forget our basic needs? Our DNA? How could we destroy 21

THE TRIBE

the foundation of our happiness? The meaning of our existence? Have you ever asked yourself those questions? Well, I have found the way forward. If you could only feel what I feel now…’ Her eyes were filled with tears. ‘I was lost for 27 years. I was sleeping and my dreams were nightmares. Nightmares where I died piece by piece. Now, I am alive.’ I tried to steady my thoughts. Jesus. What do you do when faced with a crackpot who wants to talk imaginary Tribes and cosmic love? You do what everyone else does, right? Go back to autopilot. Keep the script running. ‘So Paula, tell me about this Special Building and the unusual place you would like to build it.’ Paula looked like she was going to laugh. She raised her eyebrows again as if to say “I understand you are worried now,” but instead she said, ‘It’s a spiritual building. A place where people can meet their conscience. Can meet God. Can find their spirituality. A place without dimensions. Like our minds.’ I drew in my breath. ‘Do you have a particular religion in mind?’ I said. ‘No, no. This is not about religion.’ I grasped for more solid details. ‘Well, before we go any further, tell me about the site where the building is going to stand?’ ‘I cannot tell you anything about it. I have to show you.’ ‘Where is it located? In Germany?’ ‘It’s not in any country. It’s in a space which is very hard for you to get to at the moment.’ Now I was getting frustrated. Her words made no sense. My uncle flashed through my mind again. I decided it was time to wrap up the conversation. ‘Ok, so if it is not in any country it’s either on the moon, in international waters or, I don’t know, Antarctica. So, which one is it Paula?’ Paula didn’t take the bait. ‘It’s none of those. But tell me, can you design a house where every time I enter I feel loved?’ I sighed. ‘I don’t think you can feel loved by a building. As much as we architects wish that would be the case, the truth is, it is just an object that gives you shelter. A building has no soul. Only life can give love.’ She looked serious. ‘You see, you are not there yet.’ Her words were quiet. Like she was saying them to herself and not to me. My architect ego felt insulted. I added, 22

HOWARD ROARK

‘A building can become a place where you meet your loved ones. Or where they give you love. Or where you feel drawn nearer to God. A building is dead mass, Paula. It has no feelings like humans do.’ ‘I know that. But you are thinking only in 3 dimensional space now. Please think in the 4th and 5th dimension also.’ ‘I know the 4th dimension is time but what is the 5th dimension?’ ‘The 5th dimension is Consciousness.’ ‘You want me to build a house for your consciousness?’ I was losing my patience. ‘Yes. Exactly that.’ Her tone was determined now. And so was my determination to leave. I’d heard enough. ‘Sorry Paula, I have another meeting’ I lied. ‘Let’s meet another time and discuss. In the meantime maybe I can do some research and figure out something about how to build in the fifth dimension.’ I stormed out of the Cafe, berating myself for taking her seriously as my feet pounded on the pavement towards the tram station. Is that it, then? The flame of hope gone before it’s even begun? How do you keep hold of hope when you don’t know if you believe in anything anymore? After a while the anger began to fade, and to my surprise I found myself turning her words over in my mind. ‘5th dimension. What does she mean? How can you build in those dimensions?’ Architecture is always about the 3-dimensional world. At home I searched the Internet for ‘5th dimension building’ but nothing came up. After a fruitless hour of more searching I decided to go to bed, feeling uneasy. That night I slept badly, and when I woke the conversation kept repeating in my mind. I felt sick to my stomach. I couldn’t get the memory of Paula’s smiling face and warm hug out of my head. For a crazy person she had certainly seemed happy. In contrast, my life was as empty as ever. I grabbed my phone and called in sick and then got back into bed, hoping that more sleep would relieve my confusion. As I drifted at the edges of sleep a waterfall of thoughts began to rain over me. I had studied architecture for 5 years and then worked for as an architect for almost 15 years, but I had never thought of looking at my body as an 23

THE TRIBE

architectural piece and my consciousness living inside it. The more I thought about it the more it began to make a kind of sense to me. Yes, I thought. ‘The human body is also a building that houses life inside. Like a church when it is full of humans. That’s what brings it to life. What good would a building be if no one lived inside of it? It would be merely a dead body decaying away.’ The thoughts reminded me of my first love, painting. I’d started painting at aged seven and was passionate about it, but by the time I was 17 I was beginning to feel dissatisfied with putting brush to canvas. The notion that you could paint anything you wanted without any single restriction began to bore me. I needed a bigger challenge and architecture gave me exactly that. Architecture meant you could be creative, but your creativity had to reflect the laws of physics as well as human restrictions and needs. For example, a door had to be at least 2.1m high and 0.9m wide for most humans to walk easily through it. The bed had to be a similar size to comfortably sleep the average person. Those kinds of restrictions where creativity clashes with reality helped me fall in love with architecture. To make it even more challenging, you had to work to a budget. You had to build an aesthetically pleasing building, a building that could withstand gravity and not collapse; a building that could withstand different climate conditions so that the people inside would not freeze or suffocate. And all that had to be done within the budget of the client. Those factors challenged and interested me when I first began to learn architecture. But what Paula was suggesting took it even further. The more I thought about it, the more it felt like it was simply another challenge. Another restriction to add to the others. To design something that contains your consciousness. Is that even possible? What is consciousness anyway? I considered asking some other architects whose opinion I respected, but I had no idea how to explain. I could barely grasp the concept myself, and I knew my conversations with Paula would sound even crazier to them than they did to me. The thought wouldn’t leave me though. Was it possible? 24

HOWARD ROARK

I spent the rest of the day running it over in my mind. I went back and forth, thinking of possibilities and then deciding it was crazy again. Eventually I heard my stomach growl and realised I was famished. I glanced at the clock and was surprised to see nearly a whole day had gone by. I’d been so absorbed in thinking about Paula’s challenge I’d forgotten to eat. It was the first time in many months I’d felt that engaged in anything remotely architecturally related. That decided it for me. I would accept the challenge. After all, what did I have to lose?

25

THE TRIBE

SUBJECT PROFILE I had been shadowing two former employees of Meganetworld for nearly three months and had carefully built their profiles and stuck their photos on my investigative wall. In each photo it was startlingly obvious what they had in common. They looked changed. Happy. Active. I compared these profiles with the ones I had from Meganetworld. I doubted the employees knew, but the corporation kept detailed profiles on every one of them. I had no doubt there was one out there on me, too. My subjects were described as generally quiet people, with no ambition and no striking personality. Both of them were also lonely and had rarely taken part in any corporation related activities. My profiles were completely different. They were alive. Constantly meeting with other people. Enjoying life. I discovered they met once a week in another person's house for several hours. It was always the same group of people but they would rotate the houses where they met. I continued to shadow the former employees but all I could tell for sure was that since leaving Meganetworld they looked happier. It wasn’t much to go on so I kept a low profile while I tried to figure out how to get more information. This couldn’t be all there was to their transformation. Another three months passed and The Manager was getting frustrated. More people had voluntarily resigned from Meganetworld and he was getting pressure from Top Management to find out what was going on. I had been working like never before but with few results and I shared The Manager’s frustration. I had run out of time. Six months work for nothing. I knew it was time to completely change my strategy and with a sinking heart I faced the reality of the situation. The only way to find out what was really going on would be to use the Honey Trap. I guessed it was pretty effective, all considered. Fuck someone, make them think I love them if necessary. Get the intel. Simple. 26

HOWARD ROARK

I tried not to laugh at myself. I knew it would feel anything but simple, but I was running out of options and it seemed like the only strategy that could work. I looked at my subjects again. One was a boring looking man who was in his late twenties. For his age he looked ten years older. I decided he would be the one. The Manager asked me to meet at the Tiergarten Park. It was dark and cold and I was relieved when I saw that he wasn’t waiting in his car. I approached the big old man slowly and we walked for some minutes without exchanging a word. Finally he turned to me. ‘I am listening Goby.’ ‘I have nothing.’ I didn’t try to excuse myself. He stopped dead. Took out his cigarettes, lit one and started walking again. Without looking at me he said, ‘I am disappointed Goby. You are my best. What’s going on?’ ‘I need to change the strategy. Honey Trap.’ He stopped again and looked at me, raising an eyebrow. ‘I thought that was never an option for you?’ I kept my face impassive. I didn’t want him to see how much I hated resorting to the strategy. “It wasn’t. But it is now. I need to start from scratch and get to know the subjects personally. Shadowing them isn’t enough. Both of them have been living this new life for over a year now. They’ve become adept at hiding whatever activities they are involved in.’ The Manager nodded and lit another cigarette. ‘Yes, because it took that long for the idiots in Top Management to realize that something was wrong in their organisation. First they were happy that people were voluntarily leaving. But when they noticed that those people were some of their smartest, they started worrying-’ The Manager sighed and took a long drag on his cigarette. ‘Ok Goby, do what you think is right. Don't disappoint me again.’ I nodded and slowly disappeared into the park, thinking of heading straight to the tram before changing my mind and going for a walk. I wasn’t happy about the Honey Trap. It was partly that it injured my pride, I hated that I hadn’t been able to figure out any more information without resorting to it. But it was also the sinking sensation that once I crossed this line I wouldn’t just be playing my Subject. I’d be playing myself. Losing myself. 27

THE TRIBE

I kicked at some leaves as I wandered down the Autumn paths. Meganet paid me well, and I’d managed to put aside a lot of money. I had no problem with this, the information I gave them was worth thousands of times more than the money they paid me. Besides, they paid cash and I didn’t bother to declare most of it. The thought of doing that made me laugh. Why the hell should I pay taxes just to make corrupt government officials even richer than they were already? I thought about the assignments I’d had so far. Infiltrating big corporations had usually been easy. Meganetworld would give me an excellent job reference, although I had never officially worked there. The contact details on the reference would be those of the Agent Manager. He would give superlative comments about me and my performance. They even made me a fake University Degree. I was a web security coder who specialised in Perl, PHP and Java. Once employed, I had direct access to any company’s secret information. I perched against a weathered wooden bench and considered my next steps. I knew deep down that a year or two ago I would never have considered using the Honey Trap. That I was willing to do it now filled me with disquiet. Maybe it’s time to take a break from this job. I had lost the sense of joy that I’d had when the Manager had offered me a way out of waitressing. Every other week I would read news about Meganetworld consuming one big company after another. Some of those were thanks to me. I didn’t really care about people losing their jobs, but it was getting easier to infiltrate each company. I hadn’t felt challenged for a long time. Until now. I couldn’t help but be intrigued by this new organisation. Something about them was different, and it wasn’t just that figuring them out was proving harder than I had thought. They were doing something different. Disrupting the system in a way that confused me. I couldn’t explain the transformations that were clearly taking place amongst its members. It was getting late. I stood up and stretched my arms above my head, feeling a satisfying crack in the small of my back. Quickly I made my way back 28

HOWARD ROARK

through the park. As I neared the entrance a movement caught my eye. It was a young couple. He had his arm around her and she was laughing at something he was saying. She turned towards him and they paused for a moment, sharing a lingering kiss. I felt a shiver run through me. It had been a long time since I had kissed a man.

29

THE TRIBE

ANOTHER DIMENSION I was struggling to design something for the 5th dimension. The concept seemed to mean nothing in the architectural world. Consciousness. All I knew about it was that I had thoughts and feelings. Love? I used to have love but there was nothing left of it. Even if it did exist, how would you build there? What do we even know about consciousness? Our emotions? Love. Hate. What makes you what you are? I went over my thought-process once more. Architecture is mostly static. Dependent on gravity. 3-dimensional. How could it relate to consciousness? Of course architects thought a lot about how visual effects affected your mind, but at the end of the day it was totally dependent on the individual and how they perceived those visuals. Some people love a large bedroom with high ceilings, where a huge double bed is just a small decoration. For others that kind of room feels too empty, and not cosy enough. Those people prefer small rooms, with low ceilings that might remind them of their childhood when they slept in a tree house or memories like that. Then there were buildings that were designed to be huge and intimidating, like gothic cathedrals. God was big and almighty and you, a mere human being, were tiny and meaningless. They reflected the spirit of the church at that time. But what Paula had in mind was something like your own personal church. More like a chapel. A place where you could meet your own consciousness. She didn't believe in God. Or did she? I was no longer sure and was beginning to regret not asking her more questions about her beliefs. Since the meeting in the restaurant I had done hundreds of sketches but none that I thought would allow people to face their own minds. Not even close. I tried to take inspiration from different buildings. I copied ancient Greek architecture. Gothic cathedrals, Buddhist temples, mosques. Nothing helped. 30

HOWARD ROARK

I wondered whether I should ask Paula to meet me again but I was afraid to speak to her. I didn’t even know if she knew I was working on these designs. The last she had seen of me had been my back as I’d stormed from the restaurant. Every time I thought of her it seemed as though the impression of her was growing stronger as I was feeling even emptier. I felt the purposelessness of my life like an iron fist wrapped around my soul. Meeting Paula had stripped away my numbness and before her memory I felt naked, exposed, like she could see right through me. The more I thought of her vibrant, warm smile the more everyone else seemed to fade in comparison. Talking to people at Meganetworld was like trying to speak to a mindless drone. The few times I tried to initiate a conversation about life or the spirit inside us they looked at me blankly, before talked turned back to Facebook or the latest gadget they’d bought. Have we really forgotten how to talk to each other? How to connect on a level deeper than discussing when the latest iPhone is coming out? Are we too scared to talk without platitudes? Or is it just me? Eventually I knew I couldn’t put off meeting Paula again any longer. I had to swallow my pride and talk to her once more. I proposed we meet at the Wake Me Up Cafe again. Maybe to convince myself that the first time I met her was not an accident. I made sure to arrive even earlier this time so I had a chance to relax and soften my nerves. I brought my sketchbook of design ideas and I leafed through them as I waited, hoping that she would find them professional at least. Paula arrived dead on time and made her way to the table. She was wearing a long light gray jacket and carrying a pale blue bag. A bright orange scarf was wrapped around her hair, and the splash of colour suited her. She smiled as she approached and I noticed her cheeks were fuller. She looked much healthier than she had the first time I had seen her in the cafe. We greeted each other and without hesitation I started showing her my sketches. She listened to me carefully and looked at the drawings without commenting. After I turned the last page, she straightened her back, leaned back on the chair and looked outside. 31

THE TRIBE

‘No. I’m sorry. You are not close at all. There is nothing here I like. And I am sure the Tribe would not like them either.’ In my weeks of concentrating on consciousness I’d forgotten about “The Tribe”. The way she stressed their importance bothered me. It was as though she only had love for them and nothing else mattered. Were they the kind of people who insisted on approving of everything in their members’ lives? I wasn’t sure they were the type of people I wanted to get involved with. If they even existed. I looked at Paula and again wondered whether she was simply suffering from a mental break with reality. The way a passionate smile lit her face when she talked about them was unsettling. I thought back to an article I’d read on mental illness. How sometimes patients would invent characters they loved and talk with them. In the end they became unable to discern the difference between these characters and real people. I wondered if this was what Paula had done - worse because she’d not just invented an imaginary person, she’d concocted an entire Tribe of people. It was so easy to slip back into that thinking, but I couldn’t help but see how healthy and happy she was looking. Better even than the time in the restaurant. Still I tried to test her, wondering if a direct challenge would show that The Tribe was only in her mind. ‘Well, would it be possible to meet the tribe and see what The Tribe thinks?’ I said. Paula looked at me evenly. ‘To meet The Tribe is not easy. All I can do is recommend you. Then you will have to pass The Interview. The word “Interview” hit me like a lightning bolt. I had totally forgotten about the two people who had arrived to meet Paula in the cafe the first time I saw her. The sensation was like déjà vu. Now I was in the same cafe asking her if those two strangers would come to meet me. I remembered exactly how she sat nervously in her chair with her left hand stuck on the table. I remembered the letters on the back of her hand: VD. My mind sifted through the possibilities. ‘Maybe the Tribe really exists. Maybe she isn’t hallucinating after all. Who were those people who came to interview her that day? Maybe no one came that day and it’s me who is hallucinating.’ My heart raced. I couldn’t understand my emotions. Why I suddenly felt so overwhelmed. 32

HOWARD ROARK

Then something began to shift inside me. Somehow I realised that her change was real. Her happiness was real. The building she wanted me to design was for a real place. I didn’t know how I knew, but I was certain. Paula continued to smile at me, with that same steady warmth. Slowly the warmth began to move throughout my body. My past began to flicker, and it was as though a film was playing before my eyes of all of the happy moments from my life. The times where I had laughed, and felt joy. The times where I had smiled at others who I loved. The warmth covered my entire body and it was as though every place it touched suddenly began to remember a time where I hadn’t been empty. Are these the moments that really count? The places where suddenly the ice cracks, just a little. A tiny flash of insight - small but powerful. That one card removed. The one that makes the rest of the house fall down. And there, sitting with Paula, was the truth. I wanted to be alive again. I wanted to feel again. I felt tears begin to prick my eyes. When I spoke this time it was with a voice that was thick with emotion. ‘I want to meet The Tribe, Paula. I really do. This building you want me to design, I want to create it. I see that now. I can do it, I want to do it. I know it. Please take me to the location where it is going to be built. I need to feel it. Please, help me meet your Tribe?’ I hadn’t cried for years but the tears were falling now. They made tiny pools on the table between us. For a brief moment I fought it. It had hit so suddenly, like a damn had burst. But instead I surrendered to the tears and bowed my head between my hands. Paula put her hand on my shoulder. ‘Let me see what I can do.’

33

THE TRIBE

THE MESSAGE Three weeks went by and the reality of Meganetworld became unbearable. Not one day passed where I didn’t think about the meeting with Paula and The Tribe. Although I had no idea what it really meant, I tried to imagine all sorts of things. I tried to do more designs for the building of the 5th dimension, but nothing I did made any sense. Some people feel safe with a routine in their lives, it comforts them. Me, I resent it. I’m a zombie from Meganetworld. I am not allowed to think as an individual, therefore I do not exist. Does it feel like that to you? Like you only exist in a computer game? Is your life someone’s game? Or are we just background characters, the ones that do nothing but walk around? My Manager had passed my desk more than once and looked at the hand sketches on my table. Each time he made no comment, other than a tiny ‘hmm, interesting.’ No one did any hand sketches anymore at Meganetworld. We only did drawings on the computer. I didn’t care. Spring was knocking on the door and I had begun to tentatively go out into nature again. Green colours were slowly coming back and I spent time walking through the local park on my lunch break before going to the Wake Me Up Cafe for hot soup and a roll. I hoped she would show up one day. So far I’d heard nothing from her and I’d taken to compulsively checking my phone to see if she had called or sent me a message. Once or twice I thought about calling her but I knew I had to wait for her to get in touch. Then, on a Friday afternoon, shortly before I was going to pack my bag and leave work, a message from Paula flashed up on my smartphone. “Mr Architect, I did not forget about you. Are you ready for the interview? You will need this code to make an appointment: CLAVDIVSCAESARsays 34

HOWARD ROARK

You will receive a link with the next message. Please click on it and it will take you to an online portal for the interview appointment. Good luck to you! Paula. VD” Normally I hated it when she called me Mr Architect. But right then I didn’t care. I ran to the lift then hurried home so I could be in my apartment when I received the link, instead of risking anyone at Meganetworld seeing what I was doing. I poured myself a whiskey and waited on the couch. After about 20 minutes I received the message with the link. I clicked on it and it took me to a calendar which showed available slots over the next two weeks. I chose the earliest available slot and after being prompted, I requested the Wake Me Up Cafe as the location to meet. I put in the recommendation code and a message popped up. “Congratulations! Your interview date is confirmed. Two members of The Tribe will come and meet you. Please write on the back of your left hand the letters: VD. Keep your left hand on the table so that our Geschwister can see them. VD” ‘Our who?’ I thought, ‘What on earth is Geschwister?’ I searched online and found out that it was a German word meaning: Brothers and Sisters. I laughed. Those bloody Germans had a word for everything. Instead of asking: ‘do you have any brothers or sisters’, the Germans, efficient as they are, have melded all those words into one. “Do you have Geschwister?” But I thought it was cool, I liked the word. I wasn’t surprised at the instruction to write the VD on my hand but I was more curious than ever. VD. I wondered what on earth it stood for. An Internet search only came up with Venereal Disease. I highly doubted that was what it meant, although the comparison with how I felt about Meganetworld made me chuckle. I went to bed that evening feeling impatient, like a kid before Christmas.

35

THE TRIBE

THE INTERVIEW The day of the interview arrived and I made sure I was 15 minutes early. I initially felt calm as I sat in the Wake Me Up Cafe. I’d perfected my interview technique over the years. I was 42 and had lived and worked in 11 different countries. Each job followed the same pattern. I would start, feel enthusiastic for a while, and then feel the slow creep of dissatisfaction winding itself through me. I believed I deserved more than I got and if I didn’t get it? I simply moved on to another county, another job. The longest I ever worked in any job was two and a half years, then I was moving once more, hoping for something better. More money, more recognition, better colleagues. I dragged my ex-wife and kids with me each time, until she had finally had enough and told me in no uncertain terms to fuck off. Still, my constant moving meant that I’d had at least 50 job interviews in my life and I’d perfected my skill in that arena. I knew exactly what to say and not to say, how to sit, how to move my hands, how to formulate my CV and show my portfolio. How to negotiate the salary. I’d got it down to a fine art and any interviews I had these days weren’t a cause for concern. But as the time for the meeting got nearer I knew today was different. Very different. My initial calm gave way to nervousness. My legs were shaking and I tapped a frenetic rhythm on my black notebook with my pen. I held my left hand stretched to the edge of the table. The letters ‘VD’ were three times as big as the ones that had been on Paula´s hand when I first met her. I had to face it, I was freaking out. Why did I beg Paula for that interview? I wanted to belong. Isn’t that what we all want? With my previous job interviews, I’d read the job description at least ten times trying to understand each word. I would research every detail on the company I had applied to, and learn all their projects, google the management and check their backgrounds, and check their Facebook and LinkedIn profiles. I knew everything about my own portfolio. I was prepared for any question they might ask. 36

HOWARD ROARK

But this interview was different. I had no clue what I was being interviewed for, other than the mysterious words about The Tribe from Paula. I didn’t know who was going to interview me. For a moment I thought about just giving up, going back to Meganetworld where it was soulless but safe. But maybe Paula had been right in what she had said, maybe the need to belong was coded into our DNA. The urge to be part of a Tribe, part of a bigger organism, was hardwired inside of us. I had to find out. The door opened and a couple walked in. My heart began to pound, but they paid me no attention as they walked straight to an empty table. The minutes dragged as I watched more people come and go. My eyes were glued to the door and I could feel a sheen of sweat underneath the hand that I had glued to the table. Then a young man with blonde hair walked in, followed by an older woman. He looked about twenty and I placed her in her late fifties. She had a smattering of gray hair and deep laugh lines around her eyes. They paused at the entrance and scanned the room. The younger man looked right at me and then turned to the older woman. Slowly they began to make their way over to my table. My heart was beating so hard that it felt as though my ribcage would crack. The couple glanced at my left hand and the large letters before nodding quickly and then saying ‘Hi.’ I stood up and introduced myself before asking them to sit. My voice was shaking but they had a relaxed air to them and smiled as they sat down. ‘Hi, I’m Jason,’ said the young-looking man. ‘It’s good to meet you in person. Paula has told us a bit about you.’ He turned to the older woman with an expectant face. She looked at him with a big slow smile, as though she was enjoying his enthusiasm. Then she turned to me. ‘My name is Mareike. I am looking forward to hearing about you and your life.’ Mareike obviously knew how to get to the point. I felt hot at the thought of telling Mareike and Jason about my life. What could I say? I hated it and I hated myself. My eyes stayed firmly fixed on the table as at least a minute passed. Then Mareike touched the back of my hand lightly and as I looked at her I could see she understood my block. She smiled reassuringly. ‘This is not a job interview. All we want to know is why you 37

THE TRIBE

want to join The Tribe. What…’ Her words released the pressure and before she could continue I interrupted her, ‘Because I feel lonely although I’m surrounded by people all day long. Because I have nothing to share with the people that surround me. Because my life is so meaningless. I think I have so much to give, but I am not sure my colleagues are the people I want to share it with. Becau-’ ‘Why not them?’ said Jason. I looked up and met his gaze, feeling my eyes start to burn with tears of rage. I tried to squash it down but I couldn’t hold it in any longer. ‘Because the only reason we’re there together in that space is because someone very wealthy wants to be wealthier. None of us truly chose to be there. The only reason we are pushed to work harder is so a number that already has ten digits can become bigger. That’s it. Some person on the top floor sits at his computer all day, pulling our strings so he gets a bigger and bigger number. Everyone who works there knows it and we hate ourselves for dancing to their tune, but what’s the alternative? There are no small companies left out there. The smallest company you can find has at least fifty thousand employees. Same format, just fewer numbers. In the end that’s all it comes down to - the number and how large it can get. I never thought this would be how my life would end up. Just thinking about the next 40 years of this kind of life scares me to death.’ Mareike gave a small shrug. ‘I know plenty of people who are happy living like this. They are ok so long as they have a steady salary, even if it means spending half their life doing something they hate. If the money pays the bills, gets them the latest smartphone or clothes, a holiday once a year – they are willing to do it.’ I nodded at her. ‘Yes Mareike, I know. I still find it hard to grasp how people can be happy like that. But it goes further than that. What these people don’t know and what they refuse to know, even though it’s obvious, is the effect Meganetworld’s most important project is going to have on their lives.’ I felt the anger surge once more. ‘They’re like ostriches, desperately burying their heads deeper and deeper into sand made from the latest gadget or status car. They’re too scared to confront the truth even though everyone at Meganetworld knows about Roko’s Basilisk. I’m sure you have heard about it.’ ‘Of course I have!’ exclaimed Jason in youthful excitement. ‘I’m a coder. Roko’s Basilisk is the most powerful Artificial Intelligence being 38

HOWARD ROARK

developed at the moment. It works on a quantum computer, based on an Artificial Neural Network.’ He turned to Mareike, knowing that she had no idea what he was talking about. ‘Those are computing systems that try to imitate the human brain. And a Quantum Computer is a computer that operates on the laws of Quantum Mechanics, It’s at least 10 thousand times faster than a conventional computer.’ Mareike didn’t respond to Jason, but watched me with an unreadable expression on her face. Then she signalled that I should continue with a tilt of her head. ‘Well, I had to discuss Roko’s Basilisk capabilities for the use in an office building I’m helping to design in Frankfurt. We want AI to automatically regulate the inner temperature and the air quality inside of the building without human intervention. So one of the lead coders of the project and I, we took a company car and drove to Frankfurt. On the way there he told me a lot about Roko’s Basilisk and he let slip that in two to three years’ time it will fully replace 80% of Meganetworld employees. Including everyone in my department.’ Everyone was silent as we contemplated what this would mean for the millions of employees at Meganetworld and the other corporations who would surely buy Roko’s Basilisk from Meganetworld. Once up and running at least 80% of them would be fired, and where would they find a new job? ‘What would you like to order?’ The voice of the waitress cut through our shared nightmare vision. We ordered and continued to talk for the next hour. I found myself opening up about all my frustrations and anger. I described how helpless I’d been feeling, and how meeting Paula had begun to change things for me. They listened carefully to everything I said. The time flew by and before I knew it we had finished our lunch. Mareike and Jason rose from the table and I felt my nerves return. ‘What happens if I don’t pass the interview?’ I asked in a voice that did little to conceal my anxiety. ‘Then Paula can ask for two other Geschwister to interview you again’ said Mareike. There was that word again. Geschwister. The meld of brother and sister. I was starting to love the sound of it. ‘And if I fail that interview also?’ ‘You will have to find another tribe or get to know another Geschwister from our tribe who is willing to recommend you again, VD 39

THE TRIBE

brother,’ she said. She lifted her hand and formed a circle with her index finger and her thumb, keeping her middle finger pointed straight up. It could be interpreted as a V and a D. My mind raced. What did she mean by “VD brother”? Had I passed? I wanted to ask but I knew they wouldn’t tell me. Then Mareike leaned forward and gently hugged me. Jason did the same. They smiled and then left. I watched them go. No one had ever hugged me after an interview before. I couldn’t imagine what it would have been like to hug a potential employer after any of my job interviews. But, I reasoned, this had not been a job interview. Although I still felt confused about that and nervous about the outcome, the meeting had been cathartic. They had listened to me with what felt like curiosity and empathy and being around them had filled me with a newfound sense of energy. I stepped out of the door and a warm breeze brushed softly across my face. Slowly I felt the corners of my mouth lift up into a smile. As I walked down the street I watched leaves as they danced in the breeze. Suddenly I felt just like them. Light. Happy. Free.

40

HOWARD ROARK

HONEY TRAP I was ready to make my move. I’d spent a few days reading and re-reading the file on The Subject just to make sure I knew enough about him. I would need an icebreaker, something to hook him in, the quicker the better. Connection would be key, making sure he felt like there was something almost magical about our meeting. After reading through his file a couple more times I was pretty sure I knew what to use. I’d arranged with The Manager for a fake Meganetworld employee profile to be created. Now I had a desk allocated in perhaps one of the most meaningless departments of Meganetworld. It was called Data Tagging and the sole aim of my fake job was to tag photos to help train the AI System that the corporation was developing. At least 20 other people had the same job. No one spoke to each other, there was no need. You looked at the image - Dog, Horse, Bird, and you entered the tag into the system. That was it. The couple of days I’d spent there in order to keep up appearances had made me want to shoot myself. I spent some of the time at my desk planning my meeting with The Subject. It wouldn’t be hard to insert myself into his routine because he had none to speak of. He hardly left his house unless it was to go to work. Occasionally he would do some shopping or visit a restaurant near his house for his dinner. If he did, it was always around 6pm when the restaurant was still quiet. That would be the perfect environment for me to make contact with him. Preferably, in as devastating a fashion as possible.

41

THE TRIBE

I decided subtlety was pointless and mail ordered a short black skirt that ended just above my knees. Normally I hated wearing skirts, especially short ones. I’d had to wear a disgusting maroon coloured skirt with a kick at each side during my time as a waitress. Despite having a skinny ass it had still clung too tightly and didn’t help warm me to the idea of skirts in general. Still, needs must. I did up the black skirt and teamed it with a red blouse from my wardrobe. Makeup was next, something I didn’t usually bother with, but the look I managed to create - all smoky eyes and dark lips - would have a powerful effect on a certain kind of guy. I blinked at myself in the bathroom mirror. My eyes looked enormous and I practiced alternating sultry and slightly doe-eyed gazes until I could turn them on and off at will. For good measure, I undid the top two buttons of the blouse and made sure my black lace bra was showing just slightly. I took one last glance in the mirror before leaving. I was 27 years old but could easily pass for 20. My reflection smiled back at me. The Subject stood no chance. I made my way to the location, timing my arrival for a few minutes before the Subject normally got there, and sat on a nearby bench where I had a good view of the restaurant entrance. The Subject arrived at 6:10pm. I waited for five minutes then stood up, straightened my clothes and clamped a Meganetworld Employee ID card onto the bottom of my red shirt. The ID read: Taya Smit. As expected, there were few people in the restaurant at this time. The subject was sitting in his usual spot by the window and reading something on his phone. The only other customers were a hipster guy with a woman who looked like she was his girlfriend and two older ladies who were gossiping loudly. I ignored them and walked towards a table next to the Subject. I stood there for a minute or so, pretending to check my phone while angling myself towards him. He didn’t appear to notice I was there at all so after a few more moments I let out a sigh and followed it with a loud “fuck!” That got his attention. I pretended to be absorbed by my phone, but watched him out of the corner of my eye. He looked up and his eyes immediately went to the Meganet ID badge at my waist. He clearly recognised the familiar sight and he frowned before his gaze travelled upwards and he saw me properly. I felt a thrill of satisfaction as his eyes widened a fraction. Then he 42

HOWARD ROARK

looked to my ID tag again and he couldn’t hide his distasteful expression. ‘Good,’ I thought. ‘He still hates them, then.’ I decided to play on it. ‘God I hate my Manager. What an asshole,’ I said, rolling my eyes and then looking directly at him. ‘I worked through lunch today so I could leave a bit earlier and now he wants to know why I’m not at my desk. He saw me working at lunch as well.’ The Subject nodded sympathetically, but still had a slightly dazed expression on his face whenever his eyes flicked to my outfit. ‘Do you mind if I join you? I could do with some company this evening,’ I said and slid into a seat at his table, without bothering to wait for a reply. The Subject tried to collect himself. ‘Sure,’ he managed and I smiled again and picked up the menu. I spent a few minutes scanning it before sitting back and stretching my arms above my head, making sure my bra poked out a little more. I had to bite my lip from laughing at his flustered face. He was clearly struggling to think of a good topic of conversation. I decided to let him flail for a few more moments before going for my hook. ‘Are you an artist?’ I said. He looked confused. ‘No. Why do you think that?’ I looked at him as though I was seeing something unusual. ‘I don’t know. You’re dressed like an artist, and you have that kind of air about you.’ A small smile of surprised pleasure flashed across The Subject’s face. Inwardly I was rolling my eyes. The sad reality was that he dressed terribly, and had the air of someone who spent most of their time being about as creative as a block of wood. But it had been easy to pick out the hook from his file. This Subject had hardly any hobbies or interests. He took bad pictures with a camera he didn’t know how to use properly. He ran his hand through his hair bashfully. ‘I do make some art, I guess. It’s just a hobby really. I love going to photography exhibitions. I take a lot of photos myself.’ He looked down. ‘I don't think I’m that good at it.’ ‘A photographer!’ I said, grinning. ‘Oh, I also love photography. I read a lot about it. My favourite photographer is Annie Leibovitz. What have you photographed lately? Show me, show me.’ I clapped my hands girlishly. The Subject looked torn. ‘I don’t know, I think it might be a bit boring,’ he said. I leaned in further and unleashed the doe-eyes on him. 43

THE TRIBE

‘Oh please! I’d love to see. I really admire photographers like you!’ He made his mind up and got out his phone. He swiped through a few generic pictures of landscapes. They looked like they’d been taken on holiday. There was nothing special about them. I let out a small sigh. ‘Oh they are beautiful’ I said. ‘You have an amazing eye, I feel as though you’ve really captured emotions in the landscapes in these.’ The Subject flushed bright red and smiled widely. ‘You really think so? Thank you. I try to show a story. Like in this one.’ He scrolled to a picture of a seascape that looked exactly like the three one’s he’d previously swiped through. I nodded enthusiastically. ‘I think you’re very talented. These really speak to me,’ I said. The Subject warmed to his theme and spent another tedious few minutes showing me different pictures and explaining each one, while I concentrated on keeping the enraptured look on my face. Christ I was definitely earning the great Meganet pay tonight. Eventually he paused and I took the opportunity to steer the conversation towards the assignment. I lowered my voice. ‘Can I tell you a secret?’ ‘Sure’ ‘I work for Meganetworld and I hate it.’ The Subject smiled sympathetically. ‘I believe you. I worked there myself. Worst time of my life. What do you do there?’ ‘I tag photos all day long for their Image Recognition AI. That's it. I have absolutely no contact with my colleagues and I know nobody in Berlin really. I moved here from Frankfurt eight months ago. It’s so difficult to make real friends in Berlin. People are so fake here.’ I made a disappointed face. ‘Finding a boyfriend is even more difficult. All the men want here is to fuck and move on to the next one.’ The Subject was looking at me now with pity, and with another look, one I recognised although he tried not to let it show. He glanced down at my undone buttons and then quickly looked up as I doe-eyed him again, trying to project both innocence and interest. He cleared his throat. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. You’re young, beautiful and smart. You deserve better than the humiliating work environment at Meganetworld. I’m so glad I was able to break out of that hell. Thanks to The Tribe.’ I couldn’t believe my luck in him bringing it up so quickly. This was going better than I’d hoped. I jumped right onto his words. 44

HOWARD ROARK

‘The Tribe? Did you grow up in a big family then? That’s so cute.’ I nodded to encourage him to continue. He smiled. ‘No, it’s not that kind of a Tribe. We are hardly related to each other...and yet we have so much love for each other…’ He looked at his hands for some reason. I made my smile turn slightly wistful and reached out to touch the back of his hand. ‘That sounds wonderful. I would give anything to meet people like that. I feel so alone.” He looked up into my eyes and I could feel him wanting to comfort me. ‘It’s hard to admit, but I am so lonely. I want to meet others who I can feel myself with. Maybe even find a man who really loves me for who I am.’ I looked down. ‘I feel like no-one cares for each other anymore.’ ‘I agree. The world out there has lost its humanity’ He paused. ‘And, you deserve to have a man who is interested in more than, you know…’ he trailed off as his cheeks began to flush. I had him. Hook, line and sinker. ‘Thank you,’ I said ‘it’s so nice to be able to tell someone how you really feel.’ I paused and then forced an embarrassed laugh. ‘Even if it’s a total stranger.’ The Subject was nodding earnestly. ‘Well, maybe we don’t have to remain strangers?’ I said, injecting a hopeful tone into my voice. The Subject’s eyes went wider and I saw him double check he hadn’t misheard me. I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. ‘Maybe not,’ he said eventually ‘Uh, would you like to meet sometime? Go to an exhibition maybe?’ His delivery was clumsy but I grinned at him as though I couldn’t believe my luck. ‘I’d love that,’ I said, as I stood and smoothed my skirt. ‘Here’s my number. And I would love to meet your Tribe also. They sound like my kind of people.’ I scrawled the number onto a piece of paper and handed it to him even though we could have just tapped the digits into our phones. This way was more powerful. I handed him the paper and took care to brush his fingers for just a little too long. He smiled happily as I eased myself into the aisle. ‘I will see what I can do for you to meet The Tribe.’ I smiled back. ‘That would be amazing. Let’s speak soon shall we?’ He nodded. I sashayed from the restaurant and closed the glass door carefully behind me. Then I glanced through the pane to where the Subject was sitting, staring after me with a big grin plastered to his face. I smiled to myself in satisfaction and then turned and sauntered into the night. 45

THE TRIBE

1ST DIMENSION It was 5:59pm and I was waiting for the clock to hit 6:00pm so I could get out of the Meganetworld building. My feet itched. I didn’t want to spend a second longer working for this corrupt corporation. I knew my Manager would have nothing on me if I left work one minute after six, but if I dared to leave one minute earlier, he would write another remark on my Employee Performance Page, a page that was growing by the day. The week after the interview had been the happiest I could remember in a long time. I’d stopped watching YouTube videos and joyless porn. I logged out of my Facebook and didn’t miss the mindless minutes of scrolling down my feed. Instead, I went out for long walks, taking time to notice and enjoy the pockets of nature that were dotted around the city. I hadn’t yet heard from Mareike and Jason, but although the interview played on my mind and I felt nervous about whether I would be accepted or not, I felt a new sense of calm. Mareike and Jason had told me I would hear in the next two weeks and advised me to keep those weekends open. I’d had plans but I cancelled them, I didn’t know what to expect and I wanted to be sure I was free for whatever might come. The Tribe was my priority now. Finally the clock hit 6pm and I left the Meganet office. On the way home I kept thinking about my latest sketches for the building for Paula. I’d enjoyed doing them but I knew something was missing. I still hadn’t figured out the 5th Dimension. I got home and opened my mailbox. To my surprise there was a thick yellow A5 size envelope inside. I squeezed it and felt bubble wrap covering something hard. I walked up to the 5th floor and tried to recall if I’d ordered anything online recently. Nothing came to mind. Once inside my apartment I slowly tore open the envelope and peeled off the bubble wrap. It was a smartphone. It took me a moment to realise that it looked odd. As I turned it over in my hands I saw why. It didn’t have the Meganetworld logo on it. I felt my eyebrows shoot up. Meganetworld was now the only smartphone producer in the world, they’d bought out all the competition 46

HOWARD ROARK

years ago. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen a phone without their garish logo on it. I pressed the on button. The screen lit up and a VD appeared on the screen. Then it faded away and was replaced by black text. “Congratulations on passing your interview! Now you will enter the 1st Dimension. Tomorrow morning at 8am there is a train that goes from Berlin to Hamburg. Take that train. Your ticket has been purchased for you by the Geschwister who recommended you. When you arrive in Hamburg wait for the next instruction. VD” There was that word again. Geschwister. I loved it. The ticket with the barcode showed on the display now, complete with a seat reservation. I tried to swipe right and left. Up and down, but nothing happened. There was no other button except for the on and off one. I slowly put the phone on the table. My mind raced. What should I pack? How long would this trip last? What kind of environment was I going to be in? Should I dress casual or business? I checked the weather forecast. It was going to be about 21 degrees Celsius in Hamburg with sporadic showers. A perfect temperature. I started packing and soon filled my suitcase. Then I thought having a suitcase was maybe not such a good idea if I didn’t know where I was going. Not very easily maneuverable. I took out my hiking rucksack and filled it to the brim with everything I could think of that I might need. I even packed a first aid kit like I was going to climb the Himalayas. Remember when you were a kid and you counted down the days till your birthday? How each night seemed to last forever with the hours stretching on and on? When was the last time you felt that excited? The white ICE with the red band, Germany's high speed-train, arrived smoothly on Platform 5. I threw my heavy rucksack onto my back, and made my way through the narrow corridors of the train. I cursed myself for taking so much stuff with me as I struggled to get the bulky rucksack past people without bashing them on the head. Finally I found my seat. It was one of those where four people sit with a table in the middle. I threw my rucksack in the rack above and took the aisle seat. 47

THE TRIBE

I’d been sitting for maybe a minute when a tall, large breasted businesswoman in a gray suit approached the table. She stopped and stared down at me. She had oversized sunglasses pushed up high on her solarium brown forehead, and jet-black hair scraped into a high ponytail. ‘I have the window seat,’ she said. I got up slowly and tried to squeeze myself between her and the table. She didn’t bother to move to make space for me and as I looked down I saw she had on high shoes that had a lethal looking spiked heel. For a moment I had a vision of her sticking that heel right in my throat which was now closing up because of her cloying perfume. I tried not to cough as the smell began to fill the entire carriage. The woman lowered herself into her seat with a heavy sigh and took her sunglasses off her forehead. Then she took out her smartphone and checked her face in the reflective sheen of the screen. Apparently satisfied, she put her sunglasses back on to cover her eyes. I watched her with a silent shake of my head. How was I going to handle two hours of her penetrating perfume? The smell made my nose itch. I thought about moving but I didn’t want to abandon the seat The Tribe had booked for me, so with an inward sigh I settled in for the journey. Slowly the seats began to fill up. Two queues of people formed in the corridor, each squeezing past in opposite directions. In the middle of one of the queues I noticed the hipster. He had on tight dark purple trousers that were paired with a checkered shirt and black suspenders. Large glasses and a full beard covered his face and his hair was shining with some kind of hair lacquer. It was combed out to one side, like the American Flag from the Moon Landing. I placed him at about mid-thirties. As he got closer I saw he had black earrings on. I tried not to let my distaste show. I hated hipsters. Everything about the carefully cultivated image he projected annoyed me. I glanced at his neatly combed beard and couldn’t help but reflect how beards used to represent a different type of person. Timber loggers who spent their time in wild forests. Big men with barrel chests, muscled arms, dirty trousers and messy hair. Navy Seals holding machine guns, or a car mechanic with greasy arms who spent half his life hauling parts in scrapyards. They were a kind of tribe. Their beards represented physicality and hard, sweaty work. 48

HOWARD ROARK

Now that look was being hijacked by people like this hipster, who looked as though he could easily strain a muscle making a cup of tea. ‘Wannabe,’ I thought savagely before catching myself. I was starting to realise that the older I was getting the more I seemed to put people in boxes. I’d sworn when I was younger that I would never do it, but over the years it crept up on me. Don’t tell me you don’t do this, too. Size each person up, stick them in whatever box feels the most comfortable and then leave them there. Do you feel other people doing it to you? The hipster had stopped by our table now and I looked at him again and tried to visualise him as the nicest man I’d ever met. He squeezed himself into one of the window seats and as he sat down he leaned towards the businesswoman. ‘Hello. I’m Logan, and Madam?’ The businesswoman stared at him for a moment, then she removed her sunglasses and stretched out her hand. ‘Antonia. Nice to meeeet youuu…’ she said, saying the last two words in a long drawl. The hipster grasped her hand and kissed the back of it. She giggled and despite, myself I felt my eyes go slightly heavenward. The dramatic faux gentlemanly gesture from a guy who’d probably just spent the last three hours making sure his hair was in place combined with her girlish laugh to form a Pride and Prejudice parody. The hipster smiled and took out his MacBook. He plugged in huge earphones and gave the businesswoman a large smile. ‘Well, it’s time to chillax.’ And there it was. The hipster talk. Now the judgments were in full force. What a stereotype. I wanted to yell at him, ‘Chillax? CHILLAX? Chill and relax are the exact same thing you dumb fake show-off!’ It would be so satisfying to do it. But I knew he’d just tell me he liked it that way, or even worse tell me YOLO, “you only live once.” And that’d infuriate me even more because I hated abbreviating sentences that otherwise held real meaning. I took a few slow, deep breaths and tried to steady my irritated thoughts. To my surprise I found the annoyance drained quickly from my body. I knew I had a long way to go before I was totally at peace with the world, but I could feel my mental health had improved since I’d met Paula. I thought for a moment about her transformation from skinny and anxious to a healthy glow 49

THE TRIBE

and how much my life seemed to be changing because of our chance meeting. She’d had such a big impact on me that it sometimes surprised me that I hadn’t thought about her romantically. She was gorgeous, that much was true, so the thought of not being attracted to her felt almost absurd. But sexual attraction was a funny thing, I reasoned. You never could tell how or when it would strike. I glanced at the hipster and the businesswoman, and wondered what Paula would think of them. A loud beep signaled that the outer train doors were closing. Thank God, I thought. I had my hands full with the two occupants at the table with me. I didn’t think I could cope with any more who would test my patience. This non-judging thing wasn’t easy. I was just beginning to relax into my seat when the carriage door at the end of our aisle slid open and one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen, eased her way through. She had short shaved hair and her large expressive eyes scanned the carriage. She was breathing quickly and I guessed she’d had to run for the train. Her small body reminded me of an adolescent boy. I watched the woman check the numbers above seats as she made her way down the carriage towards my table. Up close I could see little beads of sweat on her forehead. She reached the table I was sitting at, checked the number and then threw her rucksack into the overhead rack and sat down without saying a word. She noticed me watching her and grinned. ‘I almost missed the train. Just made it,’ she said and then leant back in her seat, looking out of the window and trying to regulate her breathing. There was something about the way she dressed and held herself that felt calming to me. Her hair was growing back a little from where she’d shaved it and was maybe half a centimetre long. Somehow this accentuated her beauty I thought, maybe because she didn’t need to frame her features with a curtain of elaborately styled hair. She was dressed simply in a white t-shirt, dark grey jeans and black and white striped trainers. I liked the air of confidence and ease she projected. The train started to pull out of the station and my thoughts turned to what might happen after I got to Hamburg. I checked my trouser pocket for the VD phone for what must have been the 100th time and was reassured to feel 50

HOWARD ROARK

the small oblong was still there. The phone, or rather what it represented, meant a lot to me. The train picked up speed and the carriage started to take on a quieter air now the business of choosing a seat was over and the passengers had settled down for the journey. I looked at the other occupants of my table. The hipster was busily typing on his MacBook, with his headphones fixed firmly over his ears. The businesswoman was fiddling with her smartphone. The woman with the shaved head had turned her face to the window and closed her eyes and after a while her breath came out in a slow, even motion. I envied people like her who could fall asleep the minute they closed their eyes. I decided to close mine too, although I rarely slept well when I travelled. The sound of the train lulled me and I lost myself in thoughts of how I’d first met Paula and all the subsequent events. How they had led me here, to this train. Then the voice of the conductor broke the silence. ‘Tickets please. Have your tickets ready.’ The conductor was dressed in a typical dark blue Deutsche Bahn uniform and held out his large gray scanner as he made his way down the aisle. A tiny flash of anxiety hit me as I considered my VD phone and the ticket I’d been sent. What if it wasn’t real and didn’t work? Quickly, I took out my wallet to check I had my cash and credit cards inside in case I needed to pay. I had enough money and I told myself it would be no big deal if I needed to buy a ticket. A moment of embarrassment, not the end of the world. But I would make sure to dump the VD phone when we reached Hamburg train station and take the next train back to Berlin. Yea, God forbid we embarrass ourselves. Do anything that even vaguely implies we’re not playing by the exact rules everyone else is. Right? The beautiful woman with the short shaved hair had opened her eyes, but she was gazing out of the window. The businesswoman and hipster were still absorbed in their devices. ‘Ticket, please.’ The conductor’s voice was cold and mechanic and his face was expressionless. He might as well have been a robot wearing human skin. The shaved hair beauty took her phone out of her trousers and 51

THE TRIBE

held it in his direction for him to scan. I noticed with a start that it looked very similar to mine, it was the same colour and I couldn’t see any logo on it. The conductor scanned her phone and then turned to me. I swiftly took out my VD phone and pressed the on button. He scanned it without a word and my shoulders relaxed as his scanner beeped to signal the ticket had been accepted. Then the businesswoman put down her smartphone and rummaged in her large bag, before finally producing a phone that looked just like the shaved haired woman’s and mine. Same colour. Same design. No Meganetworld logo anywhere. My mind began to race. The conductor was tapping his finger impatiently against his ticket machine. We all turned to the hipster who was still staring at his MacBook like the conductor didn’t exist. I waved my hand at him and he gazed back with a strange look. I half expected him to say ‘chillax, man!’ His smartphone was on the table next to his MacBook. I wondered whether his digital ticket would be in there like it would normally be nowadays. But he reached for his laptop bag and took out a phone that matched everyone else’s. The conductor scanned his ticket, and him, and the businesswoman immediately went back to what they were doing, without apparently noticing that we all had the same device. My eyes met the shaved-haired beauty’s and we had a silent conversation. ‘Did you notice that also? All four of us used exactly the same device for our tickets. What’s going on here? Is this a coincidence?’ She continued to hold my eyes for a few moments and then she suddenly got up. ‘Do you mind keeping an eye on my rucksack?’ ‘Sure,’ I answered. She disappeared for about five minutes before returning, thanking me and sitting back down like nothing had happened. My heart kept pounding. I wanted to ask her to show me her device so we could compare them but she turned her head back to the window and closed her eyes once more. I glanced at the businesswoman and hipster but couldn’t bring myself to interrupt either of them. He irritated me and she had already shown that she couldn’t have cared less I was seated there. I tried to calm my thoughts as the train picked up speed again, but inside I was exploding.

52

HOWARD ROARK

Eventually the trained rolled into the large main station at Hamburg. The wheels made a welcoming squeak as they slid across the rails and the platform came into view. Through the train window I could see that the station was crowded, with hundreds of people bustling about, looking for friends or racing to catch their train. The train had barely come to a standstill before I was on my feet and grabbing my rucksack from the overhead rack. I looked at the shaved hair beauty. She opened her eyes and nodded at me. I said a hasty goodbye and then rushed towards the train doors. I pressed the open door button and it gave a long beep before the heavy metal doors slid horizontally to one side. I jumped down and walked as fast as I could through the crowds, trying to get out of the station as quickly as possible. On the way outside I started thinking. ‘What is happening here? Is it possible that four people with the same phone sat by accident at the same table? Are they also potential new members like me or are they watching me, seeing what I will do?’ I turned around to see if they were following me, but if they were they were being discreet about it. I reasoned that if they were really following me, it would have made no sense for them to show me that they had the same phone or sit so obviously close by. I wondered if I should call Paula and ask her and after a moment’s hesitation I dialed her number. Her phone was off. I stood in the station for a few minutes, deciding what to do. Part of me wondered if I should stay and just get on the next train back home. People rushed past me and I watched the way they hurried about. They looked so focused on their tasks, barely stopping to acknowledge each other. Did they have a tribe? Part of me doubted it. That made my mind up. I’d come all this way and turning back now, before I’d had a chance to find out what The Tribe really was, might be the safe option. But it would also be empty. I hoisted my rucksack higher on my back and walked out of the train station.

53

THE TRIBE

STRANGERS I went in the direction of the city centre, crossing a large four-lane road and then taking a quiet alley that led towards the docks. I emerged from the alley next to a small square with some trees, a water feature and some benches. That looked like as good a place as any to stop while I waited for the next step. I sat on a bench and took out the VD phone. There was no message yet, so I rummaged in my rucksack for a croissant and chewed it thoughtfully, wondering what would happen next. I was halfway through eating it when the VD let out a beep. A map flashed up on the screen with an arrow showing the way to a new location. I threw my half-eaten croissant in the bin and began to walk, turning down streets where the arrow showed me to turn. At least seven minutes passed before I saw that the next turn was taking me to a road where the destination was marked. The croissant sat uncomfortably in my stomach as I saw the distance decrease. 15m, 10m, 5m. When it got to 0 I saw I was standing in front of an underground car park. For a few moments I stood there, not knowing what to do next. Then a message flashed up on the screen. “Look for a grey Volkswagen with the number plate: B-GP1111.” I headed down the ramp into the car park and began to search through the cars. I couldn’t see anything in the first level, so I began to walk down the ramp to the second level. My rucksack was beginning to feel uncomfortably heavy and I cursed myself for stuffing it so full. I turned the corner at the bottom of the ramp and immediately saw the shaved haired woman and the hipster standing next to a grey Volkswagen with the number plate B-GP1111. The driver’s door was open. For some reason the sight of them relieved my tension. Although I had no idea who they were, seeing them in the cold underground car park made me smile. I was suddenly “chillaxed” as the hipster would have said. I laughed at 54

HOWARD ROARK

that thought and made my way towards where they stood. They turned as I approached. I took out the VD phone and showed it to them like I had found Pharaoh´s gold. ‘Well, I guess it wasn’t a coincidence that we had the same device.’ I said with a grin. The shaved hair beauty walked towards me. She stretched out her hand as she returned my smile. ‘Nice to meet you again!’ Her voice was light and sweet. ‘I’m Taya.’ Her name is Taya I thought, what a lovely name. Later I found out that Taya meant ‘young’ in Japanese. It fitted her perfectly. I stood rooted to the spot for a moment, feeling as though she had magnetised me. She looked curious, and I reasoned she was probably waiting for me to tell her my name, but before I had a chance the hipster cut in. ‘Well we found out how to open the door of the car,’ the hipster said. He had a confident look on his face, like he had it all figured out. ‘The digital display in the car indicates 5 people icons. Each one was grey until I held my VD phone to the card reader by the car window. Then one turned green. I got Taya to hold her phone out and a second icon turned green.’ I nodded and he continued, ‘Well, if you hold your phone to the reader it should turn another icon green.’ I held my phone out and sure enough the next icon changed. The hipster grinned and I thought now would be a good time to introduce myself. But before I got a chance to, a loud noise distracted us. It sounded as though a horse was clattering down the ramp of the car park and we all turned to see the businesswoman teetering down the ramp in her enormously high spiked heels. The car park echoed with the sound and I had a sudden urge to laugh, before stopping myself. The businesswoman was dragging her large shiny suitcase behind her and as she drew close she shouted, ‘Am I too late?’ The hipster was first to respond. ‘No. Take your time.’ Even though the hipster had reassured her, the woman didn’t slow down but just kept up her strange jog until she reached the car. She halted suddenly and held out her VD phone, checking the number plate and the screen of the phone before barking, ‘What is this car? Why are you guys here? How did you know about this?’ The three of us looked at each other and grinned. The hipster continued, 55

THE TRIBE

‘I guess we’re all looking to meet The Tribe, Antonia. My gut says we will drive in this car to some unknown location.’ He asked her to hold her phone before the card reader and checked the display inside to see if the next icon turned green. It did. Then an awkwardness descended as we looked at each other, wondering what to talk about. ‘Why don't we go now?’ said Antonia, letting go of her suitcase handle so she could take down her sunglasses. ‘I think we need a fifth person,’ said the hipster. ‘Why do you think so?’ asked Antonia. Without bothering to let him reply she moved swiftly around to the open door and sat in the driver's seat. She pushed the start button. Nothing happened. She pushed it again and again. The hipster sighed and ducked down to talk to her. ‘You see the display in the middle?’ he said, pointing out the screen. ‘It shows 5 people icons and only four of them are green. We need a fifth person before we can start it.’ He straightened his back again and turned to me and Taya. I squinted at him, trying to remember his name, that sort of thing had never been my strong point. Finally it came to me - Logan. ‘Why don't we put the luggage in the trunk?’ said Taya. We all nodded. Antonia watched us but remained seated and it seemed like she expected me or Logan to take her suitcase. Taya grabbed her rucksack and opened the trunk before letting out a short laugh. Logan raised an eyebrow at me and we both went around to the trunk to see what was so funny. It was full to the brim with camping equipment. There was a tent, sleeping bags and mats as well as water canisters and a gas cooker. Antonia´s voice carried round to the back of the car. ‘Logan, can you please take my suitcase? It’s really heavy.’ ‘I don't think I can Antonia. There is absolutely no space here.’ She got out fast, making the car shake. Her noisy heels sounded like bullets as she strode round to the back of the car. ‘What the…’ Antonia shouted as though there was a dead body in there. ‘What are we supposed to do with our luggage? Leave it here in the car park?’ Her voice sounded panicky. ‘What is this shit anyway?’ she continued as she rooted through the stuff in the boot. ‘I hope they don't expect us to sleep in a tent tonight, last time I did that I was a teenager.’ Her nervousness was catching and we all stared at the trunk in silence. ‘I guess we can keep the luggage on our lap’ I said, finally. Antonia pulled a disgusted face. 56

HOWARD ROARK

‘I am not keeping my luggage on my lap. Have you seen the size of it?’ ‘We don't even know if we are supposed to touch all this stuff’ said Taya. ‘Well, let's hope that the fifth person doesn’t have an even bigger suitcase than Antonia´s’ said Logan as he tried to stop himself from laughing. He was rewarded with a withering look from Antonia. Logan closed the trunk and walked to the other side of the car, opened the rear door and clambered into the back seat. Antonia went back to the driver's seat and I and Taya stood there looking at each other. ‘I wonder where the fifth person is,’ I said. ‘Maybe they’re having trouble finding it. Or have lost their phone.’ She slowly started walking around the car park. At least 10 minutes passed. I leant next to the car and thought about what all this meant. Logan opened his laptop. Taya paced up and down between cars and Antonia busied herself with her smartphone. It seemed like we were at an impasse. Suddenly Antonia got out of the car, grabbed her suitcase and said loudly, ‘Well, I’m done with this shit. I’m going back to Berlin.’ She started walking in the direction of the ramp. She had hardly gone 10 metres when an older man appeared at the top of the ramp. He was about 60 and was short and chubby for his height. His hair was greying and a shiny bald patch poked out from the crown of his head. He carried a black gym bag on his right shoulder. He walked passed Antonia as though he hadn’t seen her and made his way straight towards me. She stood still, staring at him. The old man looked at me quickly and then turned his eyes to the ground. In a low voice he said, ‘Sorry I’m late. I had serious doubts about this.’ He paused and then looked me in the eyes. ‘I was sitting on the other side of the aisle in the train and I noticed that you all had the same phone as me. I kind of panicked and wasn’t sure I wanted to do this, so I waited in the station for a while deciding what to do.’ He smiled apologetically. The sound of Antonia’s heels rang out through the car park as she clipped back down the ramp. The hipster had got out of the car now and he put a reassuring hand on the older man’s arm. ‘Well, let’s see what comes next’ he said. “Can I borrow your VD phone please? By the way, I’m Logan.’

57

THE TRIBE

‘I’m Gunther,” replied the old man. He slowly took out his VD phone from the side pocket of his jacket and I noticed his hands were shaking. ‘Poor guy,’ I thought. ‘He’s more nervous than any of us.’ Logan grabbed the phone and held it to the card reader. Then he got into the driver’s seat and pushed the start button. The engine gave a loud roar. A map appeared on the big display in the middle of the car with a route indicated on it. Everyone’s faces brightened. ‘What about the luggage?’ Antonia´s voice cut in over the engine. ‘I don't think we have any choice other than putting it on our laps.’ I said. ‘Well then in that case, I’m driving,’ declared Antonia as she moved towards the driver’s side of the car and signaled Logan to get out of the seat. He didn’t look happy as he slowly eased himself out of the car. I asked Gunther if he’d like to sit in the front passenger seat where there was more room and he nodded. Taya jumped into the middle of the back seat and I got in behind Gunther. Logan passed us Antonia´s suitcase and squeezed in the rest behind us. It made for an uncomfortably full vehicle. ‘Sorry Antonia, you won’t be able to use the rear mirror now,’ he said. She waved her hand airily. ‘Oh, I don't need it’ she said. I glanced at Taya and then down at my knees, which were squashed tightly next to hers. The phrase “packed like sardines in a can” sprang to mind. ‘I hope this is not going to be a long drive’ said Logan. I nodded, keenly aware of Taya’s thighs pressing against mine and the tickle of her breath next to my ear. A warm sensation flooded my body. I shifted in my seat, trying to move my legs, but there wasn’t any space to move. Then suddenly Antonia put the car in reverse, jammed her foot on the gas and shot the car backwards. A second later she had put the car into gear and we were flying up the ramp. The wheels screeched as she rounded the top of the ramp and then she hurtled out of the car park, narrowly missing another car, whose driver leaned heavily on his horn. ‘Open your eyes you idiot’ she shouted out of the window. Taya and I shared a long glance and then we both grinned. ‘Well, this is going to be an interesting ride’ she said. Logan shook his head every time Antonia took a turn, cornering as though we were being chased by the police. I could tell he was sorely regretting not putting up more of a fight about driving. We made our way through the city and after 40 58

HOWARD ROARK

minutes or so we left Hamburg and were driving on country roads. The car was silent and my feet had begun to go numb. I kept alternating my gaze between the world flying past the window and the place where my leg was touching Taya’s. I could feel a film of sweat had formed. With all our luggage and the lack of space it was becoming uncomfortably hot in the car. I thought maybe I should suggest we take a break to stretch our legs and I leaned to the side, trying to see around Antonia’s suitcase to the digital clock display in the front. As I moved, my head brushed against Taya’s. ‘We’re almost there’ she said in a low voice, as though she was sharing a secret. She didn’t move her head away. Some minutes later Antonia pulled into the car park of a restaurant called “Zum Schusterjungen,” and cut the engine. Logan opened his door first and moved round to help Taya out. I managed to maneuver Antonia’s suitcase onto the passenger seat, and then I staggered out of the car and stretched out my numb legs. Antonia headed straight inside the restaurant, I assumed to the toilets. Gunther stayed seated in the car. He’d been mostly silent since the underground car park. I walked to where Logan and Taya were standing on the other side of the car. ‘I would so not have gotten into this packed car if it wasn't for my FOMO’ said Logan as he stretched his suspenders. ‘Sorry for my ignorance Logan, but what does FOMO mean?’ I said, trying to hide the slight sarcasm behind my voice. ‘Fear of Missing Out,’ answered Logan, rolling his eyes as though I was from another century. It annoyed me but I decided to leave it be. Let him enjoy his Hipsteria I thought. Then our phones all began to beep at once and a new message flashed up on the screens. “At the east wall of the Restaurant there are bicycle racks. Use the VD phone to unlock your bicycle. Follow the map. VD” ‘You know what I love about this Tribe? Their use of technology. This is so cool!’ said Logan, as he strode towards the east wall. The clip clop of Antonia’s heels announced her hasty return. ‘She always does everything in a hurry,’ I thought to myself. 59

THE TRIBE

‘Did you read the message? They want us to take bicycles! How on earth am I going to carry my suitcase on a bicycle?’ She sounded totally perplexed now. I saw Logan pushing his bike towards us. ‘That’s a good question,’ I said, hiding my pleasure. I didn’t give a shit about her huge suitcase that had been jammed on top of me for the last two hours. That was her problem now. We all had rucksacks we could carry on our backs and Gunther could carry his bag on the rear bike rack. ‘What are you guys waiting for?’ said Logan and I could tell he was finding it hard to contain his excitement at meeting The Tribe. ‘How is Antonia going to take her suitcase on her bike?’ said Taya. ‘Not my problem’ said Logan, echoing my thoughts. ‘I didn’t tell her to bring such a huge suitcase. Seems like she has enough stuff to last for a three month long holiday.’ Antonia scowled. ‘I need a drink’ she said and stalked off towards the restaurant. We all watched her go. ‘You know what? Let her go. Let her stay behind. Go get your bicycles and let's move,’ said Logan. He put down the stand for his bicycle, grabbed his rucksack and threw it on his back. ‘Come on!’ he said. None of us moved for a moment. No one wanted to go after Antonia, but leaving her seemed a little harsh. Then again, she’d done nothing but moan and demand since we got to the car park. Taya looked from me to Logan and then said, ‘Where are we going?’ Logan took his VD phone out and stared at it for a few seconds before swearing. ‘Shit!’ He showed us his phone. On the display there were now five bicycle icons. One of them was green but the others were grey. ‘I guess the guide map won’t show unless we unlock all five bicycles.’ He let out a loud sigh. ‘Let me go talk to Antonia’ said Taya, and without waiting for us to add anything she walked away. I got my bike and when I brought it back to the car I noticed Gunther was still sitting inside. ‘Gunther, go get your bike please,’ I shouted at him across the distance. ‘Oh yes, yes, sorry, sorry.’ He stood up and walked quickly to the east wall. All three of us then regrouped beside the car. Logan dropped onto the floor and crossed his legs, and started typing on his MacBook yet again. He seemed unable to go without it for more than a few minutes. Gunther mostly stared at the ground, managing to seem apologetic without saying a 60

HOWARD ROARK

single word. I spent my time gazing about and running various scenarios through my mind. What if Antonia refused to go any further? Would that mean none of us could? My dislike of her intensified. As if on cue, Antonia´s horseshoe noise clattered towards us and I turned to see her and Taya going to their bicycles. They stopped in front of us. ‘If you guys agree to leave some of your stuff in the car, we can make space in our rucksacks for some of Antonia’s things. She can leave her suitcase and whatever won’t fit in our rucksacks in the car.’ After half an hour of negotiation, we finally managed to squeeze Antonia´s stuff in our rucksacks and Gunther´s bag. We threw whatever was left over onto the back seat of the car. Antonia agreed to carry the rucksack for a portion of the journey and Taya for the remaining part. Before we left Antonia acknowledged that the clothes she had on weren’t suitable for a bike ride, especially when we weren’t sure how long it would take, so she changed into jeans, trainers and a light pullover. The weather was perfect for a bicycle ride. Autumn was in full flow and the leaves lit up the ground in hues of gold and amber. The sun shone down pleasantly and a warm breeze caressed our faces as we cycled. There wasn’t much traffic on the road and soon we were making jokes and chattering happily. We rode for about an hour and then we reached a hotel called “Edelweiss.” It had a small beer garden attached to it. We decided to stop to eat something and have a drink. As we sat around the bench table in the beer garden a new message came up on our VD phones. “Behind the hotel there are mopeds. Use the VD phone to unlock them. Follow the map. VD” ‘Ahhhh, now I like the sound of that a lot better,’ said Logan as he leant back with a glass of beer in his hand. ‘I hate to say it, but I don't think I’d be able to bike for another hour with a full rucksack on my back,’ said Antonia and we all laughed. Now she had relaxed a bit she wasn’t being quite so irritating I realised. We paid the bill and walked slowly to the back of the hotel, still making jokes at each other. To our surprise we saw there were only three small mopeds. ‘What does this mean?’ said Antonia. ‘Are we supposed to leave two of us behind?’ 61

THE TRIBE

‘Two people can ride on a moped Antonia,’ said Taya as she put her rucksack down. ‘Yes, but these mopeds are so small that only the person at the back can carry a rucksack,’ said Antonia. I weighed up the situation. ‘I guess we’ll have to prune our stuff again and leave one of the rucksacks here.’ I suppressed a grin at Antonia’s horrified face. ‘Now you know why there is a used clothes container over there.’ Logan pointed with his head some metres up from where the mopeds were standing. Antonia stared at where he was pointing for a moment and then threw her hands up. ‘Ah, what the heck!’ We all broke out in laughter and got to work sorting through the contents of our rucksacks. It was easier to sort through all the items this time, I could feel there was less tension than before. Maybe because we’d gotten to know each other a little better over the course of the afternoon. Finally we had the rucksacks ready and we unlocked the mopeds. On the back seat there were vintage motorcycle helmets, the kind you need to wear goggles with. I grinned as I put mine on, I’d always wanted to wear one of those helmets. Our next challenge was to decide who should drive the mopeds and who should sit at the back. We all agreed we’d rather not sit behind Antonia, since her erratic driving style in the car had scared us all witless. It was impossible to tell whether Antonia was offended. She nodded without saying anything, then took the initiative. She threw one of the rucksacks on her back, jumped onto one of the mopeds and took off like she had never heard of us before. We watched her go for a moment. Then I jumped on the next and Taya climbed on behind me. She put her hands on the sides of my lower back to hold herself steady. Logan started the third moped. ‘Gunther, are you coming or not?’ he shouted. ‘Yes, yes, sorry, sorry,’ he answered and very carefully sat behind Logan, balanced with the big rucksack at the back. He struggled for a minute to put his helmet on. Then he threw his hands around Logan’s waist and gripped on tightly, before leaning his head into Logan’s back and squeezing his eyes shut. ‘Gunther! What the fuck are you doing?’ Shouted Logan. 62

HOWARD ROARK

‘Yes, yes, I am sorry, I am sorry. I’m scared of riding motorbikes.’ Muttered Gunther. His eyes were still closed and that combined with his apologies gave him an air of a kid who’d just been caught eating his brother’s sweets. Logan sighed loudly and rolled his eyes, but didn’t attempt to get Gunther to loosen his grip or take his head from his back. He revved the engine and accelerated out of the hotel car park. I followed with Taya. Antonia was nowhere to be seen but I guessed we’d catch up with her soon. As we settled into the rhythm of the drive I realised the sun was starting to set. Red and orange rays were dancing beautifully across the green fields to either side of the road. The smell of grass flooded my senses and a cool breeze caressed my face. I breathed it in and a sense of freedom and happiness embraced me. After a few minutes I began to feel Taya’s grip on my back change. Her arms slowly transitioned from resting on the side of my back to wrapped fully around my waist. Then I felt the soft sensation of her head resting against my back. Her body felt warm and relaxed, and I knew she was no longer holding herself steady, but was hugging me. My heart lifted so much that for a moment I felt as though I was floating. It had been a long time since I’d felt the loving embrace of a woman. After my wife and I divorced I’d had a series of short, meaningless flings. Sex had been emotionless and left me feeling worse than I had before. After a few months I stopped dating altogether. The interactions I’d had with those flings had hurt more than helped me. Taya’s arms around me felt different. I smiled at the world and hoped the moped ride would never end. In front of us Gunther’s scared face began to relax and he cautiously opened his eyes. I grinned at him and he smiled weakly back. We turned a corner and suddenly we were on a road that was framed by enormous trees to the left and the right. It felt like an avenue that had been created especially for us. The leaves on the trees were turning from green to gold and they fell like multi-coloured rain in the breeze as we passed. Taya breathed ‘beautiful,’ into my ear, and then stretched her arms out wide, as though she wanted to fly with the leaves and let the wind take her wherever it wished. I felt as though right then I could fly with her. Everything was perfect.

63

THE TRIBE

THE SHACK After a few more minutes Logan turned right into a small road. Grass grew in tall spurts on either side of the road and behind that were corn fields. We drove down the road and a large timber framed building came into view. Logan stopped his moped and I drew up next to him. ‘Gunther! You can let go now. We’re here,’ shouted Logan. Gunther unclenched his arms from Logan and slowly got off the moped. I looked around. In front of us were two huge gates that were large enough to allow a tractor to drive through. To the side was a small wooden door. Suddenly the door opened and Antonia poked her head out. ‘What took you guys so long?’ she said. We checked our VD phones for the next message. “Leave the mopeds in the barn. Walk through the small door to the north-west. Follow the path. VD” Antonia had already checked out the barn, and she quickly disappeared inside as the rest of us followed. The smell of hay reminded me of when I used to visit my grandparents at their farm when I was little. I’d loved their farm as a kid and regretted that I’d never gone back there once I’d grown up. When had I started preferring a concrete jungle to this? I’d forgotten how much I loved to be outdoors and in the countryside. The sound of squeaking interrupted my memories. Logan had pushed open the door on the other side of the barn and I could see that outside the light was fading fast. We walked through the door and came out onto a small dirt path at the rear of the barn. It cut its way through a field and then disappeared into a dense forest. Without saying a word we started walking down the path, one after another. Taya was walking in front of me and again I noticed how she looked like an adolescent boy from behind. After a few minutes we reached the edge of the forest. The light was almost gone now and a sudden chill from the breeze 64

HOWARD ROARK

made me shiver. The silence was becoming oppressive and strange thoughts began to dance through my mind. ‘What if The Tribe is a Satanic Cult? What if we get kidnapped and they kill us as an offering to their God in this dark forest? What if this is some kind of joke by a sick pervert psychopath and we’re all walking towards our doom?’ Then another thought chilled me to my bones. ‘What if Antonia, Logan, Gunther and Taya are all in on it and I’m walking quietly into their trap?’ My mind was racing now. I thought about my options. I was the last in line so I figured if something happened I’d be able to run back to the barn and try to sound the alarm. But could I leave the others? What about Taya? For a minute I began to feel real panic lace its way up my spine. Then I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm my wild heartbeat. Whatever was happening, I was committed now, I told myself. Plus it seemed unlikely that all four of the others had conspired to lure me here. I needed to just relax and trust in this process. Up ahead Logan said something to Antonia, who was at the front of the line. Then he stopped and took out a torch from his rucksack. I remembered I had one too so I rummaged around until my hand closed on it. I switched it on and flashed it left and right into the forest. All I could see were trees and a carpet of autumn leaves layering the ground between them. I checked the time on my phone. It was only 7.20pm, not really late. The dark, dense forest had made it feel much later. We walked for another twenty minutes and then the path opened up into a small clearing. Nestled in the middle of the clearing was a run-down shack with a small fire at the front of it and lights flooding from its windows. As we got closer the silhouette of a man sitting in front of the fire came into view. He was about fifty and as we made our way towards him he stood up and walked towards us. ‘Welcome, welcome’ he said in a deep, cheerful voice. ‘My name is Jerome. I’m very happy to welcome you to your lodgings for the night.’ He offered his hand as he spoke and we all took turns to shake it. He motioned for us to follow him into the shack. Once we had all squeezed into the entrance hallway he opened a door and a kitchen came into view. In the middle of the kitchen was a heavy table made from a large vertical slice of a tree. The tree must have been a giant, I thought, you could easily seat 65

THE TRIBE

several people around it. On the other side of the table was a long couch with a low timber table in front. To the sides there were three beanbags in different colours. Jerome walked through the kitchen to where another door stood. He opened it and reached through the gap to put on a light. Now I could see a long corridor with doors punctuating it. ‘Let me show you to your bedrooms,’ he said, and we followed him into the corridor. ‘This is for our ladies.’ Jerome opened a door onto a small cosy room with two single beds on either side. Then we walked to the next room which had three single beds. ‘And for the men,’ he said. ‘At the end of the corridor are two bathrooms. I’ll let you settle in while I prepare supper, you must be hungry after your long day.’ He smiled and then made his way back to the kitchen. I dropped my heavy rucksack onto one of the single beds and let out a sigh of satisfaction. It had been a frenetic day and I was definitely ready to get into clean clothes, have something to eat and, more importantly, find out why we’d made this journey. I had a quick shower and put on fresh clothes and then made my way back to the kitchen. The aroma of food was beginning to make my stomach growl. Jerome motioned for me to sit so I relaxed on one of the large beanbags and looked outside through the window. It was completely dark now and I could see the stars glittering in the night sky. I thought about what an intense day it had been. Taya appeared, looking around her for a moment before walking to the door and quietly opening it. I stood up to join her and we stood together looking at the night sky and enjoying the cold breeze. She leaned into me and I looked into her clear, wide eyes and felt more energy passing between us. Then Jerome called out from the kitchen, ‘Make sure the fire doesn’t go out, please.’ I smiled at the realisation we would be eating outside, under the stars. Taya went over to the fire and I grabbed some more firewood from a store by the door. I put it on the fire and Taya and I stood staring into it for a few minutes. I felt completely at peace. The door opened again and Jerome came out, carrying a heavy black pot. It smelled like vegetable soup and my stomach gave another growl. Jerome put 66

HOWARD ROARK

the pot next to the fire and then bustled back inside again. A few seconds later Antonia, Gunther and Logan appeared and settled themselves around the fire. Taya sat down next to Antonia. I kept glancing at her in the firelight. The reflection of the flames made her skin look even paler than it was and for a moment she looked not quite real. Like a spirit or an angel. She caught me looking and I felt suddenly shy. I looked away, hoping she wasn’t finding my stare creepy. It was hard not to adore her beauty and graceful poise, but I didn’t want to make her feel uncomfortable. I realised that it had been so long since I’d been romantically interested in any woman that I’d forgotten how I should behave. The thought sobered me a little as I watched the flames dance and the steam rise from the huge pot of soup. The door opened again and Jerome brought out some bowls, plates and cutlery. He left them on a small timber table that was made from another flat chunk of tree. Then without saying a word he rushed back inside again and returned with garlic bread, cheese and drinks. As he finally sat I realised none of us had offered to help him and I wondered why it hadn’t occurred to us to do so. Were we all that self-absorbed? Or was it just the hypnotic effects of the beauty of the place, combined with the fire? Jerome passed the bowls around. The soup he had prepared was so delicious that I stood up three times to fill up my bowl. Then I poured myself a glass of whiskey and leaned back, staring at the fire once more, feeling completely satisfied by the simple but nourishing food. Logan’s voice cut into the contented silence. ‘So Jerome, first of all thank you for all of this. Intense!’ We all looked at him as he continued. ‘I would love to know when we are going to meet the Tribe.’ Jerome smiled and poured himself a small whiskey. I noticed Gunther was smoking a cigar and Antonia had wrapped herself in a thick green blanket. ‘What do you think of when you hear the word Tribe, Logan?’ said Jerome. His deep voice was underscored by the cracking noise of the logs burning on the fire. ‘To be honest,’ Logan said, ‘I think of wild people. Savages with hardly any clothes on. People with bows and arrows. They are somehow uneducated and uncivilized. Something outdated, of the past.’ He paused for a moment and then continued. ‘It stands for isolation. Separation. We use 67

THE TRIBE

the word Tribalism as a negative term these days you know.’ Jerome leaned into Logan. ‘But why do we think that? You are born into a family, which is a small tribe. If you grew up in a good family, you would never see that as isolating you, separating you from the rest of society. In fact you would view it as the opposite, don’t you think? You would see it as a healthy foundation for you to grow from, until it was time to be in the world and society outside of your family. A place you could fall back to in difficult times and feel safe. Your family knows you from the time you were in nappies. They know your good sides and bad sides and accept you for who you are. That’s why you feel alive and comfortable when you’re with your family. You can be yourself.’ Jerome smiled sadly. ‘At least, if you come from a healthy family. These days many families aren’t healthy, they’re toxic and they don’t feel safe for many of the people who grew up in them.’ Gunther chimed in. ‘We are afraid of tribes. They scare us. Because we feel left out. As an individual it’s difficult to face a tribe. You are only one person, and they are many with one opinion.’ Everyone looked at him and he continued. ‘Besides, what about people like the Italian Mafia? They’re a tribe and not an ancient one. A tribe that is out there harming people.’ There was silence as we all looked into the fire, reflecting on our families and other tribes we’d encountered over the years. Jerome cleared his throat and took another sip of whiskey. ‘Yes, Gunther,’ he said. ‘That’s a very good example of the power a tribe can have. For over 100 years, one Italian government after another could not destroy “Cosa Nostra”. Even Interpol, the most powerful International Criminal Police Organisation we have ever had, has not managed to destroy the Mafia. So don't you think it would be smart to see what makes this tribe so undefeatable? Then use that to build a good Mafia. One that defends human rights and justice. Fights corruption. Fights environmental destruction.’ We all watched Jerome now as he continued. ‘Throughout human history, people have felt intimidated by tribes. But they have also been fascinated by them. Because everything in our history started with a tribe and ended with a tribe. Let's take the history of Europe for example. Our history begins with the emergence of the city-states of ancient Greece. The most famous of those was Sparta. The Spartans were the 68

HOWARD ROARK

smallest tribe in Ancient Greece. They realised that they could not survive unless they had a vision they could all share. Their vision was to become the strongest and most courageous army humanity had ever seen, operating inside the most advanced society. The Spartans had no city walls. They said they preferred to defend their cities with men. Sparta was the only tribe at that time where women were equal to man. They were expected to be as athletic as the men were. Women were allowed to own land and property. The Spartans became a legend that to this day captures the imagination of young people. They stood up fearlessly to a Persian army that outnumbered them by one to one thousand. The Spartan’s grew bigger and bigger until the tribe structure was abandoned and that led directly to their defeat by other tribes.’ Jerome was looking at us all one by one as he spoke. ‘Yes, yes Jerome. But the dark ages followed because of tribalism.’ Logan interrupted. ‘And don't forget the Holy Wars that occurred as a result.’ Jerome nodded his head. ‘I agree with you. And since you mention Holy Wars, what about the Jesus Tribe? If the New Testament is true, then a single man who began with 12 followers and a vision of redemption managed to build the largest tribe the world has ever seen. The Christianity tribe has over two billion members. After the dark ages another tribe was born, the Medici Tribe in Italy. This tribe loved art. Suddenly Europe experienced the incredible time of Renaissance. One tribe, who had a vision of a society where knowledge and art should be the highest priority to man, brought forth a whole new era of inventions for the good of humanity. Then this tribe collapsed and the next dark era of Absolutism followed. But another tribe came into existence. This time it was the tech people. The Scottish engineer James Watt and his tribe and their vision of and belief in technology started the Industrial Revolution in Great Britain, which quickly spread across Europe. But the Industrial Revolution brought forth dark times because of unemployment and economic crises. Then a man called Lenin and his tribe started the proletarian revolution. So communism was born and half of the world followed this tribe till its collapse in the nineties. The Nazis only became so powerful and managed to deceive a whole nation because they believed in the power of the tribe. The German Nationalist 69

THE TRIBE

Party at that time was structured more like a tribe than a conventional political party. It was Tribes that brought down empires. It has been tribes that have written history.’ The fire was almost burning out. I stood up and put two more logs on it. No one said anything for a few minutes. I broke the silence. ‘You have a point there Jerome. But we live in a new era now. The digital era. Europe is one country. The US has managed to almost globalize the world with their pop culture and their consumption culture. The Internet has united us all. I don't see any need for tribes anymore.’ Jerome shook his head. ‘I disagree with you there. Steve Jobs built a small tribe of tech people who believed in the power of technology and design. He called the members of his tribe A-players. Steve would go away with them almost every weekend. He considered them to be his family and when he was fired from Apple, his team resigned and followed him to his next venture, Pixar. A young coder and his tribe were tired of the Microsoft Empire so they created Linux. And what about WikiLeaks? The most powerful nations in the world could not defeat this tribe of dedicated coders. How could such a small group of people scare the most powerful nations on earth? Because they are a tribe. 10 years ago an unknown coder who called himself Satoshi Nakamoto was so disgusted by the banking crisis of 2008 that he decided to create a new currency called Bitcoin. A tribe came together around his idea and now Bitcoin is changing the world. Wikipedia was built by a tribe that believed in the power of free knowledge. Tribes are everywhere and are the heart of our existence. You can’t achieve anything in life without a tribe.’ Taya got up and filled her bowl with more soup. Then she slowly sat back down. She had a thoughtful look on her face. ‘When I hear the word Tribe, I think of big families,’ she said. ‘A lot of brothers and sisters who then have more kids and so on.’ She looked into the fire and I could see her face was twisted in pain. ‘I grew up in an abusive, broken family and I decided a long time ago I’d rather never have children if that’s what happens in those kind of tribes. Even one person isn’t always enough to save that child from the power of the family tribe when it’s abusive.’ Her voice was soft and I loved the sound of it, even if her words were hard to hear. 70

HOWARD ROARK

I thought about my own family. They had always been good to me. Of course my parents had their fights, but in the end they tried to keep the family together. I only had one sister, and I’d often thought I would have loved to have a big happy family. But the realistic part of me knew that if my parents had had another child they would not have been able to cope. Jerome’s voice cut into my thoughts. ‘You’re right Taya. I also grew up in a dysfunctional family. And you see, this is the wonderful thing about modern tribes. You were not born into them. You choose them and they choose you. My Tribe became the family I did not have. Being born into a happy family nowadays is like winning the lottery. But choosing to join a Tribe is making your own decision. It’s taking life into your own hands. Spartacus built a tribe of gladiators who almost brought down the most powerful empire of all time. None of them were family. But they came together because they wanted to be free.’ I was looking at the sky now. More stars had appeared as the night deepened around us. Jerome continued. ‘The happiest people I have ever met were those who were a part of a tribe. It doesn't matter what kind of a tribe. The vegetarian tribe, the fashion tribe - anything. At the end of the day, the tribe is part of our DNA. Marketing has tried to separate us from each other because lonely people are the best buyers of products. They try to fill this gap with selling us products we don’t really need. Advertising tries to convince us that all you need to be successful is yourself and willpower. So you buy bullshit books which tell you the 5 secrets to success, 10 secrets on how to be happy and so on. But if you look carefully at history, there are only two things that will give you happiness: belonging and a sense of purpose. Think about all the wildly successful people who take their own lives. Why do they do that? Because they have no tribe to share their success with. That’s why Facebook became so big, because we want to share our experiences with others. It is in our DNA.’ Jerome looked at us all. I could see Antonia was leaning forward, with an intense look on her face. ‘Marketing says believe in yourself and everything is possible,” continued Jerome. ‘Well, I tell you tonight, I have seen smart people failing over and 71

THE TRIBE

over again because they thought they should do it on their own. And when a few of them did succeed? They disappeared as fast as they appeared. Only the people who had a tribe behind them made a real difference and are still around. The modern tribe is no different to the ancient tribe. A group of people. Small or big. This group is connected together by an idea. This is what binds them together. And the group has one or more leaders. A tribe stands for change. It does not like the status quo. We humans will always be drawn to a tribe, we can’t help it. If we are not part of one, we fall into loneliness and desperation.’ ‘Well, there are plenty of Facebook groups out there and Meetup Groups you can join. Why are people still so unhappy and lonely in the modern world?’ said Antonia. ‘Those groups are not tribes, my friend. Those are crowds. There is no commitment to anything. That is why there is no bonding, no love and mostly no results from such groups. A tribe can’t thrive without commitment. Without sacrifice. Something the five of you had to learn on the way to this place tonight. There was a reason why the trunk of the car was full. There was a reason why the car would not start until everyone had arrived. There was a reason why you had to leave parts of your luggage behind. When you join a tribe you have to make sacrifices. If you cannot leave your past behind there will be no space for the future.’ Jerome leant back. Then he stretched his arms around him expansively. ‘So what I want you all to think about is this. Do you want to spend the rest of your life working for someone who doesn’t give a damn about you? Do you want to sit at your desk in a job you hate every day, waiting to see if you will be the next to be fired? Do you want to give your hard earned money to a soulless corporation that gives you miserable service, selling you average products? If you had a choice between buying a pair of shoes from your friend or from a factory somewhere in China, with a call center in India, who would you choose? In a tribe you do not work out of fear, you work out of personal commitment to that tribe. A tribe will not fire you, it will discipline you. A tribe will never let you beg or go hungry. It will never let you become homeless as you struggle alone.’

72

HOWARD ROARK

I could see everyone was thinking hard. Reflecting on their lives and jobs until this point. Jerome continued, ‘you probably know that the word for “tribe” in German is “Stamm”. The word Stamm also means “tree trunk”. The German tribes who defeated Rome knew that a tribe is like a tree trunk, a solid core from which your branches and fruits can grow. The trunk keeps you from breaking when the strong wind blows. It feeds and supports you. All the pain and suffering we have in the modern world is because we destroyed the tribes. Those that were not destroyed from the outside destroyed themselves by allowing their size to corrupt them. So, we decided we would be happier when each one of us is on our own. But we were so wrong. A small minority is profiting hugely from our loneliness. The result is a society where depression has become the most common sickness. We think we live in a democratic society but that is also incorrect. Let me give you an example. Our governments expect us to be fully transparent with our taxes. If we’re not they can send us to prison, or make us pay a large fine. But if we go to the Government and ask them to show us what they did with the money we have to pay, they don’t give us a straight answer. Or they say they aren’t obliged to tell us all the details of where our taxes go. How can this be a fair system? That’s not how I want to live my life. I’m happy to share my hard-earned money for a common good. But not with people who don’t give a damn about me and won’t tell me what they do with the money I pay them. The people who run our world’s most powerful conglomerates today are those who trade in loneliness and fear of failure. What we are doing is creating a new tribe. A tribe that isn’t about greed or forcing people to isolate even more from one another. This is why I will live the rest of my life for my tribe. Let those egoists who would spend their lives promoting misery and loneliness go down one after another.’ They were harsh words but they rang true. Logan took his glasses from his face and held them in one hand while rubbing his eyes with the other. He said, ‘I understand your passion, but I know also that if you want to be successful, it’s often going to be a lonely journey. You know that saying: “If 73

THE TRIBE

you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” This is the cost of success it seems, and we all want it badly.’ Jerome did not take his eyes from the fire this time, but he nodded. ‘We have to completely rethink our concept of success. More people die of obesity than they do of hunger in our Sick Society. It takes time to get to know a person, but our culture of “now” has no time for that. We just get to know a small part of each other and then put on our labels. It’s like we’re buying another product. You just read the label and make the decision without testing it first, and we’re all obsessed with these labels. But you know what? When I see someone driving a $500,000 Aston Martin car, I don’t see someone successful, I see someone who is screaming for attention, screaming for love, screaming for belonging. But that kind of attention only draws the wrong people to you. Our world is driven by envy. The advertising industry thrives on encouraging people to envy each other. The more they can get people to compete for the latest product or label, the more money they make. Lonely people suffer the most from this. People without a tribe. They compete for the attention of others using labels and products that they think will give them positive attention. But the attention they get is from people who don’t care for them. They are only envied for what clothing they wear or what house they live in.’ Logan scratched his head, but he looked doubtful and I knew he was thinking of the hipster clothing he wore. Of his shiny MacBook. Jerome raised an eyebrow at him. ‘The media sells you the dream that if you have the skills and you work hard enough, you too can “make it”. So you follow their advice and give it everything you have to succeed. You buy into the idea of the Sick Society that the people on top deserve to be there and the ones at the bottom also deserve to be where they are. So you work and try to obtain all the skills a successful person seems to have. You work day and night, do everything by the book. But in the end you fail. And you begin to think ‘maybe I deserve to be at the bottom.’ You feel crushed and depression sets in. But all these tales of success and hard work leave luck out of the equation. If you looked more closely at the success story of the self-made millionaire, you would notice that most of it was luck. He was in the right place at the right time and met the right people. And along the way to his success the 74

HOWARD ROARK

path is littered by people who had the same skills, the same drive and the same determination and work ethic, yet fell short. If you accepted this then you would understand that you were not unskilled, but unfortunate. Our Sick Society does not use the word “unfortunate” anymore. They prefer the word “loser”. Because they thrive on crushing human life. Don’t want to be a loser? Then buy our clothes, go to the gym every day, buy the right house, buy our car. And if you can’t afford it, we will lend you money with a high interest rate. Anything you want to feed your ego, to make you feel like you’re succeeding.’ Jerome looked into Logan’s eyes. ‘Do you get the picture now? Do you understand why we have more suicides in this modern sick world then in poorer countries? The magazines and newspapers are full of “fall from grace” loser stories. They look for scandals, for famous people and their rehab stories, or even worse. Pages and pages of newspapers and magazines dedicated to these celebrities and their implosions. The meltdowns, gossip - even suicides and overdoses. We entertain ourselves with the failures of others. At the same time the Sick Society encourages people to worship themselves. It's all about you. You are the center of the universe. That is why we can buy so many things we don’t need but are convinced we deserve, and yet still feel hollow and unhappy. The life in our tribe is not about your ego. Is about your inner peace and happiness. It’s about you accepting us as we are and we accepting you as you are. In both good and bad times.’ As I listened to Jerome a feeling of certainty washed through me. Suddenly it all made sense. All the events during our journey to the shack. The small mopeds and lack of space in the car had meant we were forced to be in close contact with each other. We had to work together to get to The Shack. The journey had given us a taste of Tribe life. The others were also reflective and we sat around the fire long into the night, sharing our ideas and thoughts. It must have been at least 3am by the time we all fell into bed, exhausted from the day. In the morning I was the first to get up. I padded to the bathroom and noticed Jerome was already awake and was cleaning the floor. The smell of a cooked breakfast led me into the kitchen and I realised he must have been awake for quite some time to prepare all this for us. A wave of gratitude hit 75

THE TRIBE

me. The rest of the shack started to hum with activity as everyone else got up, showered and dressed. We sat around the large tree trunk table in the kitchen and shared out the plates of hot food between us. The conversation was light and Jerome made no attempt to revisit the intensity of our discussions from the previous evening. My eyes drifted over to the couch. A neatly folded sheet and two pillows were resting at the edge of it. Jerome must have slept there last night. The sun shone in through the window and I saw that the sky was clear and blue. I wondered whether we had another long day ahead of us but Jerome told us he would take us back to the station. We arrived back at Hamburg station, stopping on the way to collect Antonia’s belongings from the car we had taken the day before. Jerome waved to us as we left the car and we all stood awkwardly for a moment. ‘Thank you all for making the journey yesterday,’ he said. ‘The Tribe will be in touch in due course.’ I was dying to know if this meant we had passed the 1st Dimension or not, but I could tell by Jerome’s face he would not tell us right then. He sped off and we made our way through the busy station. The journey back to Berlin was uneventful. Antonia and Logan chatted happily and I knew they had been as affected as I had by our evening. Every now and then I would glance at Taya as she rested her head back against her seat. Once or twice she met my eyes and smiled, and her gaze was filled with warmth. I spent the journey alternately thinking about The Tribe and wondering whether I should ask Taya out, but the moment never seemed right, even though we had exchanged numbers at the shack. The train pulled into Berlin and we all rose, saying our goodbyes. My eyes met Taya’s for a final time and she looked as though she wanted to say something for a moment. But instead she just said “goodbye,” in a soft voice, grabbed her rucksack and left the train. I stood still on the platform, watching her until she disappeared into the crowd.

76

HOWARD ROARK

I AM IN I’d been waiting in the park for almost 25 minutes. When The Manager gave me a time and meeting point he always made it clear I’d have to wait for him to arrive, sometimes for an hour or more. ‘I’m a busy man Goby,’ he’d said, ‘I always have to be ready to deal with unexpected situations so I can’t guarantee being on time.’ I doubted that was the entire reason. He liked his power games too much, and making me wait was just another way to play them. I drummed my fingers against my knee as I thought about what I’d tell The Manager. My recent progress would certainly please the old man but I had to admit I was feeling conflicted. The Subject, what was his name again? Frank, yes. Probably one of the most boring people I’d ever met. Our second meeting had been even harder work than the first. I’d had to use all my charm to get him to open up and whenever I mentioned The Tribe he changed the subject. God, it was tedious. Even though I hated myself for doing it, I decided that intimacy would be the best way to get him talking, so I’d sent strong signals he could kiss me - with no effect. It was like flirting with a brick wall; he just didn’t seem to get it. Finally, after our fourth date, I’d grabbed his face and kissed him. The feel of his tongue in my mouth had made me want to retch. Once I got home I’d brushed my teeth three times and used half a bottle of mouthwash and that still hadn’t been enough to get the feel of his mouth off me. Still, the kiss brought him out of his shell. He began texting constantly so I embarked on a game of push and pull with him, encouraging him to begin exploring my body, before batting his hand away and telling him I needed more than just a lover. He was easy to manipulate, even easier than I’d thought he would be, but that didn’t make me feel any better about what I was doing. I veered between feeling sorry for him and guilty about what I was doing, and hating him for being so fucking gullible. The only bright spot was that after a few entreaties he’d recommended me to The Tribe and I’d been able to pass The 77

THE TRIBE

Interview and gather information on the other potential Tribe members as we visited the shack in the forest. The weekend was still playing on my mind. As hard as I tried, I couldn’t get thoughts of the Architect out of my head. I’d be concentrating on a report, or going through my plans to further the mission. Then, despite myself, I’d picture that beautiful country lane and the way the leaves had fallen. I’d remember how his skin smelt and how my head had rested on his back. For a moment I had felt so safe. So free. I bit my lip, hard. This was ridiculous. Fantasising about some guy from this Tribe was not in the game plan. Who needed love anyway? It had been at least three years since I’d felt anything like love in my life and look how that had turned out. A sad little note admitting he’d fallen for that woman he’d sworn was just a work colleague. Didn’t even have the balls to tell me in person. Anyway, falling in love with a Subject would be beyond foolish, a sure way to mess up my focus. Not to mention that as an undercover agent I’d stolen so many trade secrets that if I ever got caught, I’d end up in prison for the rest of my life. Not really the best way to create a “happily ever after.” No, the weekend had been a mistake. I’d got carried away with the journey and the mystery of it. That was all. The Manager appeared in the distance and I forced myself into professional mode. There was no way I wanted him to see me looking even slightly conflicted, It’d be like dripping blood into shark-infested waters. I reached him and we stopped in front of each other, before he turned without a word and starting walking down a new path. I followed suit. After a minute he inclined his head slightly at me, letting me know he was ready to hear my report. ‘Asshole,’ I thought. ‘I am in.’ ‘Congratulations Goby. I knew you would do it.’ He smiled and I suppressed a shiver. Sometimes he was creepier when he was happy. I shook my shoulders slightly and continued. ‘The organisation, or as they like to call it, The Tribe, appears to have several layers. They call them dimensions. My subject told me there are 5 dimensions and you have to pass each one before you get access to the next one. I’ve passed the first dimension so I am waiting for the second. So far I have made contact with my subject, four potential tribe members and 78

HOWARD ROARK

one other member of the tribe. Their selection process for new members is interesting, I will send you the detailed report on how they do it and the locations we went to. We met the second member at the final location. I couldn’t figure out what his role in the tribe is. Probably someone at the bottom judging by his behaviour.’ ‘Elaborate on what you mean regarding his behaviour.’ ‘I think he was more of a housekeeper than anything. Probably trying to win the recruits by giving them a good time. But he also knew exactly what he was talking about. A very knowledgeable man I would say. Really smart.’ I’d liked Jerome. He’d seemed like a no bullshit kind of man. ‘I doubt he was trying to win recruits that way,’ said The Manager. ‘These types of organisations are not interested in numbers. They are highly selective about who they accept. Continue.’ If The Manager was trying to rile me up with his rudeness, it was working. I kept my voice as even as possible. ‘Well, he definitely knew a lot about history and tribes.’ ‘I wouldn't be surprised if he was not of some senior level in the organisation. What else?’ ‘Technology seems very important to the tribe. They obviously have some very capable coders doing their work. Their encryption algorithms seem pretty advanced.’ ‘Yes, that's why I’m worried about this organisation. They seem to have recognised the weakness of giant corporations like ours. People are fed up with being managed all the time and doing work out of fear. They are looking for meaning now. Making everything big and then bigger still is making humans look smaller and smaller. If we don't stop them, their chances of success look pretty good. I don't remember so many people resigning voluntarily in the entire 20 years I’ve been with Meganetworld. Agent Goby, this mission has the utmost priority for the Top Management. That is why I chose you. Anything else?’ I shook my head. ‘That's it. I will send you the report later today.’ We began to walk back the way we’d come. When we reached the bench The Manager nodded at me and turned to leave. He walked a few paces and then suddenly turned back to me. ‘Tell me Goby, did you fuck The Subject to get in?’ he said, a sly smile on his face. I tried and failed to stop my disgust from showing. He began to grin. 79

THE TRIBE

‘That's not your business.’ I turned and started walking away from the old bastard. ‘Would you fuck me Goby?’ He called. ‘For the sake of the mission, of course.’ He was laughing now. It sounded like a cow being slaughtered. I kept on walking, raising my middle finger as I went.

80

HOWARD ROARK

THE RESIGNATION I went back to work on Monday morning. After spending the weekend as part of “the five” as I’d come to call us in my head, I had zero interest in doing Meganetworld work. Just walking through the doors to the building filled me with anger, but I kept myself to myself and spent time on my hand sketches for potential 5th Dimension buildings. I began to build 3-D models of my designs and the time passed a little less uncomfortably. As the day progressed I noticed my manager kept lurking behind my desk, peering over my shoulder at what I was doing, before disappearing again. Finally he returned and stood behind me for three full minutes without saying a word. I turned and gave him a challenging look, thinking ‘what the fuck are you staring at me for?’ He looked taken aback for a moment and then collected himself before saying in a patronising voice, ‘Hm...interesting. I can’t remember any of our projects resembling what you are working on here.’ I barked out my reply. ‘Funny, I don't remember me coming to your table and standing behind your back making stupid statements.’ Everyone turned to stare and the manager went bright red. He stood frozen for a moment before rushing back to his desk where he began typing like mad. I couldn’t believe I had just said that to him. A year ago I would barely dare look him in the eyes. Was this the effect the word “Tribe” was having on me? I searched inside myself for any regret at my words and found none, so I turned back to my desk and carried on working on my design as though nothing had happened. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed my colleagues muttering to each other, before they also, returned to their work. That moment. Where you finally acknowledge that this isn’t what you want. When you make that statement, close that door. Choose another path. When you set your course differently. What does it take for us to make those choices? To stick to them? I expected there to be repercussions but nothing happened for the rest of the day. When it was time to leave I simply turned off my computer and left 81

THE TRIBE

the building. The next morning when I exited the lift at the 21st floor, I saw my manager was standing beside my desk again. When he saw me, he put on a big fake smile. He was holding a sheet of paper in his hand. I knew what was coming. ‘Congratulations. You have been transferred to the Basement.’ He passed the transfer sheet to me and I saw he could barely keep the glee off his face. I glanced around. Several faces were glaring at me, as though I’d broken some law. Is that how you’d look at me? Would you hate me and think I was acting like a churlish teenager? Would you think I was ridiculous for speaking out, for rocking the boat? Would you dismiss me as ‘angsty?’ I took the sheet without saying a word and headed for the lift. When it arrived I calmly walked inside and he followed, giving me a long look, as if waiting for me to speak. When I didn’t, he reached across and pushed the button for the -4 level. The lift descended and I stared at the numbers as they flashed by. The numbers began to get smaller. 5, then 4, 3, 2… The number 1 flashed on the display and my hand shot out, hitting it with force. The manager’s head swivelled in surprise as the lift doors swung open to reveal the giant bright entry hall of the Meganetworld building. As usual hundreds of people were walking fast in different directions. I walked out. Behind my back the manager finally reacted and I heard him shout, ‘Where do you think you are going?’ I turned around and saw he was holding the lift door open. For a few seconds we simply stared at each other. Then I lifted my hand and showed him my middle finger. ‘Fuck you, asshole!’ And If I was, would that be so bad? Is finally breaking the mould, removing the mask, and truly saying how you feel just reserved only for ‘immature’ people? ‘Mad’ people? ‘Foolish’ people? His mouth opened into a comically wide ‘O’ and he flapped it open and shut a couple of times. Like a fish, I thought. I turned around again and kept walking. The last 30 metres to the main entrance doors felt like I was walking on air. I had never felt so free in my life.

82

HOWARD ROARK

2ND DIMENSION I spent the next few days working on my designs for the spiritual building. I had plenty of time now, after all. Every now and then I thought about what had happened at Meganetworld but I didn’t feel bad about what I’d done, especially because working on the designs engaged and interested me in ways I’d not felt for too many years. Although I still had no idea about the location, I loved the challenge of designing something that might explode geometry, the 3d restrictions, gravity. I knew that soon I would find out if I had passed the 1st Dimension and be invited to the 2nd, and I was no longer nervous. The weekend had given me so much and my days had a newfound sense of peace. Jerome had told us to keep the VD smartphone as that would give us our next instruction and it came that morning. The device was next to my bed and I heard three small beeps. Still half-asleep, I rolled over and grabbed it, squinting at the screen. “Congratulations! You are now entering the 2nd Dimension. Please set up a VPN on your device. You are going to use it to enter the 2nd Dimension. Download The Tor Browser. Connect the VD smartphone with your device. Enter this code: lxxt>33m2mqkyv2gs39=WO2ntk Save the code in a safe place. It is your password to the 2nd Dimension. This message will be deleted forever once you are logged in. VD” I grabbed some coffee and reread the message. I had no idea what a VPN was. An Internet search told me it was a Virtual Private Network that can be used to create a safe encrypted connection to the Internet. I found plenty of websites that gave step-by-step instructions on how to setup a VPN. I also had no idea what a Tor Browser was but that, too, was easy to find out about online and to install. 83

THE TRIBE

The Tor browser worked through The Tor network, disguising your identity by moving your traffic across different Tor servers, and encrypting that traffic so it wasn't traced back to you. Anyone who tried to see your online movements would instead see traffic coming from random nodes on the Tor network, rather than your computer. The coders of the Tribe obviously wanted to go another level safer. You couldn’t enter 2nd Dimension without the VD phone, which encrypted your connection to a higher security level. This made it almost impossible for hackers to find out how, who and from where a Geschwister of the Tribe entered the 2nd Dimension. I cursed those coders for coming up with such long passwords that no human being could remember. On the other hand I understood their concerns. So I made sure I kept it in different secret places. Once I had finished installing the VPN and Tor I sat back and waited. Then I received a so-called PGP Key ID: 7A35090F. Then some encrypted images and explanation about a GnuPG (whatever this was) appeared on the screen. The image looked like a cicada fly. Next to the image was a phone number which I was supposed to call: 214 3909608. I did and an automated voice told me to go to a website: 845145127.com. I obeyed. A window opened that read: write this code down: a2e7j61c78hojreddit After I did I pressed Enter. A black MS-DOS screen opened automatically and white code rained in like in the Matrix. Then more windows opened and closed and finally the Tor Browser opened. Without me doing anything, the magic invisible hand coming from the VD phone opened a white tab which had a small rectangle in the middle. It read: Enter code here. I tapped in the code, carefully checking I’d entered it correctly. The window closed. Then a pop up window appeared which read: Welcome to the 2nd Dimension! Some seconds later it faded away into a white background. Then slowly black letters started appearing on the white screen.

84

HOWARD ROARK

THE GUIDE OF VD TRIBE WELCOME! We understand that you will not agree with everything in this Guide. That is why every year the Tribe votes together on updating it. We expect every Geschwister to live in The Tribe according to this Guide. If you think this is too harsh for you to live up to, then you are not fit for our Tribe. Stop reading and go back to your old life. We have named our Tribe: VD Tribe. V - is the Roman symbol for 5 and D is for Dimensions. Our Tribe has 5 Dimensions: 1st Dimension - Existence 2nd Dimension - Knowledge 3rd Dimension - Creation 4th Dimension - Time 5th Dimension - Consciousness

1st Dimension - Existence You did not choose your parents. You did not choose your body. You did not choose your name. You did not choose the first language you learnt. You did not choose your relatives. You did not choose the country you grew up. You are not a self-made person, as our Sick Society wants you to believe. The most important decisions at the beginning of your life were taken by others. So stop blaming yourself for things that happened in your past. Stop blaming others. You are what you are, make the best out of it. 85

THE TRIBE

You will always be dependent on other humans. Or do you get the water you drink out of the ground by yourself? Do you grow your own food? Did you build the place you live in all by yourself? Did you make your own clothes? Do you make your own medication when you are ill? Do you mine your own minerals and make cutlery out of them? Do you produce your own electricity? You see, in each and every aspect of your life, you are dependent on another person and they on you. Together we are interdependent - we rely on each other for our independence. We encourage you to build friendships and share your life journey with others. We are living in times of one financial crisis after another. When money loses its value, there is only one currency that will stand the test of time - true friendship. The true value of your wealth is how much you would be worth if you lost all your money. You, as a human being, have needs. You need clothes, shelter, food, transport, relationships, and entertainment. And to fulfil those needs, you need other humans who have the skills to satisfy them. You want the surgeon to know how to operate, the baker to know how to bake; you want a bus driver to know how to drive, the musician to know how to play. The greater the skill of a person helping you, the better your need will be fulfilled and you will be happy. What skills do you bring with you? How good are you at that skill? How good are you at fulfilling other people's needs? You were born with all the talents to help satisfy your needs and those of others. If you do not see your skills as being any use for others, you are surely already a lonesome person. Either you learn one or more unique skills or you will live a miserable life. Does it sound materialistic, capitalistic, egoistic, and simplistic to you? Do you think this is not love? Love is giving and taking. Sowing and reaping. Serving and being served. Caring and sharing. Love is not a one-way road. What counts in our Tribe is not the fact that you lived. It is the difference you have made and continue to make to your Geschwister´s lives. We are in this life together. The Geschwister of VD Tribe will be there to build you up. Support you. Love you. And the same is expected of you in return. Having a tribe who cares about you is the best investment you can make in life. But this investment demands commitment.

86

HOWARD ROARK

Commitment means being there in good and bad times. Being committed to help. To share. To encourage. To show up. To criticise and to love. To sacrifice. To laugh and to cry. To build and destroy. You have no control over your life. Let go. For every decision that you make, there are billions of variables that decide the outcome of your decision. Think! Do you decide when you fall asleep? Do you know what your next thought will be? Do you decide when exactly to wake up if you have no alarm clock? Can you control what other people think about you? Can you see the future? Can you see what is in the human mind? When you make a decision do you know exactly what other people´s plans are in that moment and how your plans will interfere with theirs? You see. You are a lot weaker than you thought. You were not born perfect. You, like all the humans on this planet, have a mental sickness inside of you called Greed. Greed is the reason for so much of the pain we have in the Sick Society we live in. Greed is not always about materialism. It can be about power, about control, about career, about moral values, about aesthetics. If you think you do not have it, look closely inside of yourself. Greed is inside each of us and it displays itself in different shapes without us noticing. You mostly cannot see it but the people around you do. This is why it’s important to be surrounded by people who love you so much that they will make you aware when this cancer starts growing out of you. This life is too complex to manage alone. The Tribe is our DNA. Tribes survived for thousands of years and they will survive for thousands more. Without a tribe you are nothing.

2nd Dimension - Knowledge The Industrial Age created an academic educational system that has nothing to do with the reality you live in. After you finished 13 years in school, did you know how to cook for yourself? Did you know how to do your tax return? How buildings are built? How clothes are made? How a disease is cured? How to start a business? 90% of what you learned in 87

THE TRIBE

13 years is next to useless for anything in real life. The first thing children in the Spartan tribe were taught was how to survive independently in the worst conditions. Shouldn’t school prepare you for life? You come out of school and you are more confused than when you went in. Instead of learning how to love knowledge, you started hating it. You were forced to learn things you were not interested in. You were punished with bad grades for things that were out of your control. You were forced to compete with other students instead of cooperating with them. You had no life goal to learn for but only exams and a grade at the end. You didn't learn because you wanted to improve your skills, you learnt because you needed a piece of paper that says you can move to the next level of a system that did not care about you. You were just another brick in the wall. But our Tribe wants your knowledge. We welcome it. We want you to share it with us and we will share ours with you. VD Tribe is for people who have a vision. Maybe you will say: I am not good at anything. Well then get up and start learning something. A Geschwister must always have a learning attitude. VD Tribe is about learning and sharing knowledge with each other. If you are not willing to learn (because you believe you already know everything) then don’t come to us. When we say learning we do not mean only knowledge of medicine, architecture, masonry, carpentry or automobiles and so on. We also mean learning how to be positive, encourage others, dealing with situations in your job, relationships etc. Our Geschwister are not the average person and you are not looking to be one. You are a human being with a purpose. You want to achieve something, whatever that may be, and you will have our help to get there. Knowledge means enlightenment. If you stop learning you stop living. We learn for life.

3rd Dimension You were born to be a creator, not only a consumer. What do you create? What do you produce? We are not talking about money here, we are talking about creating something 88

HOWARD ROARK

that people can benefit from. Something you are also good at. A nurse creates a service which we all at some stage will need. A car mechanic keeps us mobile. He is a creator too. A policeman protects you from robbers, he has created peace of mind for you. So don't think of creators as artists doing art only. A creator is anyone who brings forth something others can benefit from. So make yourself useful and you will receive love in return. Skills are important tools to connect to people. And the VD Tribe has created a space for you to exercise and improve your skills. Don't be satisfied with the level of your skill. You can always get better at it. And the only way to get better is through practice and through listening to feedback. VD Tribe appreciates cooperation. Your Geschwister are happy to work together with you to develop your next project. But keep in mind, you have to convince other Geschwister that your goal is worth following. At the end of the day, no one is obliged to help you, we do it out of conviction. 4th Dimension - Time Someone said: We are all visitors to this time, this place. We are just passing through. Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love... and then we return home. Your time on Earth is limited. Your life is a journey. Time runs forward only. When we measure time what are we actually measuring? One minute with the person you love feels like a second but one minute sitting on a hot stove feels like an eternity. At VD Tribe we do not limit ourselves by the time. Because we know time is relative. We expect you to find time for the tribe whenever it is needed. We expect you to give time to your Geschwister when they need it. We expect you to be on time when you are needed. By respecting time you respect others. Time comes and goes. Sometimes fast, sometimes slow. But in the end is just that. Time. If you are running for a minute or if you are sitting for a minute, it does not matter to time. But if you could capture time, what would you do with it?

89

THE TRIBE

We mean your past. The Tribe has created a powerful tool to capture time. It’s up to you to decide what to do with it. Be careful though: If you bring a lot of baggage with you from the past, you will not have space for the future.

5th Dimension - Consciousness You have to understand that you are consciousness. You are this thing that you cannot see, you cannot hear, you cannot touch, you cannot smell. You are your thoughts. Your feelings. Your fears. This is all you are in the end. If you had no consciousness, your body would be just another vegetable. All the four previous dimensions lead to the 5th Dimension. This is the highest of all dimensions. The end of every journey. This is the dimension where all Geschwister of the VD Tribe come together. We see our bodies as a vase where consciousness dwells. What is consciousness? So far nobody knows for sure and neither do we. Maybe one day we will know or maybe we will not. The Tribe is the mirror for your Consciousness. The place where you bounce your thoughts, express your feelings, exchange love. But as a Geschwister of the VD Tribe you have to understand that everything you do in life is for your consciousness. The end result is not materialistic. It is spiritual. That is why this inner invisible, unhearable, untouchable, unsmellable world of yours means everything to us. Peace, love, joy, happiness, belonging, meaning, all these are the end goals of our Tribe. And we know we can only get there together. VD

90

HOWARD ROARK

REFLECTION I read The Guide over and over again. I would read several sentences then get up and walk around the room, thinking about them. Some of them irritated me, some of them insulted me and some of them made total sense to me. I sat down and read more, feeling confused one minute and the next moment totally clear. It was a rollercoaster of thoughts and feelings so I decided to leave it for a while and went outside for a long walk. I took my earphones with me so I could listen to music while enjoying nature. On the way back I stopped to have some Italian food, then I went home, drank a glass of wine and went to sleep. The next morning I read the whole Guide in one go and it suddenly became clear to me. The journey with Taya, Logan, Antonia and Gunther had 5 stages. The train. The car. The bicycle. The moped. The shack. I recalled The Guide: You did not choose your parents. You did not choose your body. You did not choose your name. You did not chose the first language you learnt. You did not choose your relatives. You did not choose the country you grew up in. The train represented that section of the life journey where you have very little influence over it. There are hundreds of other passengers on the train all going in the same direction and you don't know most of them. You can’t make the train change direction. It only drives as the rails are. For me that meant the country I was born in. Then I got in the car and someone else was driving it. For me that part of the journey represented the family I grew up with. As a child, your father or mother decided for you. They decided where your journey should go. And in that journey you might have been joined by brothers or sisters. And all family members, like in our car journey, brought their “luggage” with them. Their complexes, issues, wants and needs. Their own ambitions, pain and 91

THE TRIBE

desires. All of these made up the invisible “luggage” each family member carried with him or her. In this case Logan, Antonia, Gunther and Taya were “my family”. Then we got onto the bicycles. It reminded me of the stage where you have your life completely in your own hands and can steer it whichever direction you feel like. Mostly, I reflected, this happened after you moved out of your parents’ house. In the fourth stage we got on mopeds. This time you took another person on your journey. This reflected that part of the life journey where you have a partner. A wife, husband, boyfriend, girlfriend. Or you decide to take that journey alone like Antonia did. The shack represented the last stage of your life journey when you sit back and reflect on the journey you had. Then you realize that whatever you did in your life was for the spiritual side of you. It was all was about belonging. Being part of something bigger than you. I started laughing. Loud. Very loud. It was brilliant. It was crazy. It was genius. Because it was so simple. I realized the unstoppable power behind a tribe. Their thinking strength. Their planning. Their precision. Although I had not met the Tribe yet, I knew it was something special that I had never come across before.

92

HOWARD ROARK

EMPLOYEE FILE I was still in bed even though it was already 11am. My open laptop was propped on my lap, with the half-written report for The Manager on the screen. I sighed. Even though I’d promised him the report the day we met I’d struggled to make myself do it. I stared at the screen, willing myself to just finish it and hit send. But I was finding it hard to know what to think about this mission, let alone how to write about it. My previous missions had always had an obvious objective. You got in, you got the information the company wanted, and you got out. But what was I looking for with The Tribe? I didn’t know and nor, it seemed, did anyone else. Not The Manager, not his Top Level bosses. All I knew was that I’d had a weekend that had felt like going on an adventure with old friends. Hardly the trade secret of the century. It was frustrating. More so because The Manager would be breathing down my neck any day soon for my nonreport. I thought back to our last meeting. He’d been pretty talkative for him, and he’d cracked a joke. Granted, it was a lewd, disgusting joke, designed to piss me off. But it was still a joke, something I couldn’t remember him doing before. What the hell was going on with him? More to the point, what the hell was going on with me, first with the Architect and now with this damn report? I groaned in annoyance. The screen flashed up with an encrypted message. It was from The Manager. Urgh, as though my thinking of him had summoned him, I thought to myself, only half-joking. I clicked on the message, assuming he was chasing me for the report. Instead, a simple line appeared: Another one has resigned. File attached. That broke the trance. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom. Then I had a hot shower and made strong coffee before settling back into bed and scanning the report. As 93

THE TRIBE

I read it struck me that The Tribe was obviously growing, the frequency of resignations had become much faster in the last few weeks. I kept on scrolling down the report, sipping the steaming coffee. Suddenly, I froze. I shut my eyes for a few seconds, and then opened them again. It was him, the Architect. He was the subject of this latest file and a photo of him had been inserted into the text. Once my surprise had subsided I took some time to study the photo in more detail, matching it with the man I remembered from the weekend. I had to say, there was nothing particularly interesting about his face. He was just an average looking guy. His nose wasn't even straight. Actually, all told he was a strange looking guy. I flipped down to read more details about him. On top of his looks he was 15 years older than me. I looked out of the bedroom window, trying to figure out the situation. Did The Manager know this guy had been at the introductory weekend? Worse, had he somehow figured out my confused feelings about him? Was The Manager playing with me now, trying to unsettle me again? I pursed my lips. Why the fuck did this Architect guy have to resign now? I took another sip of coffee and scrolled down the page so I wouldn’t have to look at his face anymore. I finished the rest of the file, which wasn’t huge. The architect had only worked for Meganetworld for a couple of years, but I noticed that he’d managed to collect an impressive amount of notes from his line manager. I scanned down to the last couple of entries. “While I was standing quietly behind him, he turned around and said: I don't remember me coming to your table and standing behind your back asking stupid questions!” I smiled. Then I checked the last note. “While I was taking the elevator to the Transfer Basement with him, he hit the First Floor button. When the elevator stopped and the door opened, he walked out. I stopped the elevator door from closing and asked him where he was going. He turned around, showed me his middle finger and said in a very loud voice: Fuck you asshole! It was an embarrassing moment for me because other colleagues were around.” Now I was properly laughing. I had to give it to him, the Architect had guts. I saw that the footage from the office CCTV was included and spent a happy 94

HOWARD ROARK

couple of minutes watching and rewatching him getting out of the lift and flipping off his manager. The last time I zoomed in on the manager’s face, which was so comically shocked that I burst out laughing again. I put down my coffee and grinned, feeling a lot of the morning’s tension leaving my body. As I sat back I noticed a movement at the window. I looked outside and saw autumn leaves were falling. It reminded me of the moped ride. Of the warmth of his body. The looks he had given me by the fire. A pang hit me dead in the chest. For a moment I wished he was right there, sitting next to me in bed. I looked at my phone. He’d given me his number that weekend before we parted. I dragged my attention back to the file again. This time another remark from the Architect´s Manager caught my attention. The Manager had reported several times that The Architect was working on a project that was not from Meganetworld. He had seen him doing hand drawings of a building he could not explain, the drawings were too abstract to be related to Meganetworld’s designs. I pulled up the security camera footage from the Architect’s office. The Manager’s people had already gone through recent footage and taken screenshots of the Architect’s desk. I zoomed in but could only make out a bunch of curved lines. Circles. Parallel lines. Squares. Several scrawls of “5d” were spread around the pages. I frowned. None of the drawings made sense to me. They didn’t look like buildings, that much was certain. I noticed that The Manager had highlighted the last line of the notes about the drawings. He obviously thought it was worth pursuing. Maybe life was making its mind up for me about getting in touch the Architect. I wasn’t normally prone to such thoughts, but it seemed pretty coincidental. I wasn’t the only Agent on this project, after all, yet I’d happened to be at the same weekend as him, and now his file had made its way into my hands. Then a thought struck me. What if it wasn’t coincidental at all? What if this was a trap, set up by The Manager? My heart started to race. I’d heard stories from the undercover community of Managers who created tests for their Agents to make sure they hadn’t switched sides. I thought for a few moments. As much as I sometimes despised the old man, I didn’t think he’d set me up like that. Besides, I’d barely infiltrated the Tribe. The person I’d got to know the best so far had been the Architect and it made sense to build 95

THE TRIBE

on that opening. I looked at his picture again and realised I couldn’t keep lying to myself, I did want to see him again. I took a deep breath and reached for my phone. It took me a few seconds to work up the courage, but as I typed out his number and pressed ‘send’ a sudden feeling of calmness ran through me.

96

HOWARD ROARK

THE LIBRARY I was busy working on the design for the 5th Dimension building when I received a message from Taya. When we’d exchanged numbers I didn’t really believe she would ever contact me. After I’d split from my ex-wife, I’d become completely averse to the idea of falling in love. I didn’t like the feeling of losing control. Flirting is ok, I would tell myself, but that's where it ends. Any step further would mean trouble, and she was 15 years younger than me. Nothing serious could come out of it. Her message was simple. “Hey, what did you think of The Guide? I love the Library. Maybe we can have a chat about it over coffee? Hug, Taya” Despite my misgivings, a sense of euphoria hit me as I read and reread her message. I could almost feel her warm hug again. I mused to myself, ‘what library? Does she want to meet in a library? That's not what her message says.’ I puzzled over it for a minute or two and then remembered that I hadn’t checked the VD phone for the last couple of hours. How could I forget about it? I turned it on and a message appeared. “This is the Code for the Library.” I connected the VD phone with my laptop and entered the long code into the Tor browser. The Library site opened up. 15 squares in different colours appeared on the screen. Each square had text on top and a logo in the middle. The squares were named: 1 - Food 2 - Clothing 3 - Building 4 - Health 5 - Communication 6 - Transport 7 - Government 8 - Finance 97

THE TRIBE

9 - Business 10 - Tourism 11 - Entertainment 12 - Society 13 - Education 14 - Technology 15 - Environment On the top right hand side there was a small question mark symbol. I clicked on it: Welcome to the VD Tribe Library. Our Library is divided into 15 Knowledge Fields. Feel free to explore each of them. Our Library is built in a way that imitates nature and the human brain. It also has a unique structure that makes it possible for the Geschwister to exchange knowledge in a simple way - like building with Legos. What is Knowledge? For us, Knowledge is bits of information that are organised together in a logical system. This bit of information we call IC - for Information Card. Let's take an example. George knows that H stands for Hydrogen. He writes on a card: H = Hydrogen Monica knows that O stands for Oxygen. She writes on another card: O=Oxygen Tim comes along and he knows a bit more than George and Monica. So he takes another card and writes on it: H = Hydrogen. He takes George´s and Monica´s cards and puts his card on top of it. Then he takes another card and writes on it: H2O = Water. He puts this card on top of the deck. Then takes out a rubber band and wraps it around the deck so it does not fall apart. We call this a KD - Knowledge Deck. He says to George and Monica: Now you know what Water is. If you forget, just take this deck, remove the rubber band and read the cards. Now Marc shows up and he is holding a Knowledge Deck that has written on it: CaSO4·2H2O = Gypsum. He puts his Knowledge Deck on top of the Water Knowledge Deck. Then he takes a card and writes on it: Gypsum Plaster and ties it with a new rubber band on top of the Gypsum and Water Knowledge Decks. He turns to George, Monica and Tim and says: Now you know what Gypsum Plaster is. If you forget, just take this deck, remove the rubber band and read the cards. To make it easy for you to see how the cards are related to each other, we have created a tool we call the Knowledge Map. You just click the icon on each Knowledge Deck and it will show a map with all the cards in the Deck and how they are related to each other. Now you know how our library works. Have fun exploring the Knowledge of the Tribe. 98

HOWARD ROARK

I was blown away. ‘It can't be that simple,’ I thought. ‘Knowledge is complicated. Gaining knowledge is a tough process. Boring, complex, tiresome. Exchanging knowledge with others is even tougher. People keep their knowledge in Windows folders, Word documents, on Google docs and sheets, Excel sheets, in Browser folders. They name the folders with different names that don’t make sense to others so they’re hard to find. Then you have different file formats. You have videos, pdfs, PowerPoints. No, no it cannot be so simple.’ And yet it was. There before my eyes. Another example of the strength of the Tribe. I started clicking like crazy. Opening one deck after another. Opening one Knowledge Map after another. I just couldn't believe how easy it was. Then I went to the Architecture Field. After opening several Decks I thought, ‘why not create your own Deck?’ It was so simple. Just drag and drop the Knowledge Decks or Information Cards others had created before you. Then you opened the Knowledge Map and if it didn’t make sense, you switched Decks and Information Cards around. I had become a kid again. Before me were thousands of colourful Lego blocks and I was building all sorts of things. I had forgotten how fun it was to be a kid. To be curious. To build, take apart and rebuild in another shape. I had never imagined you could do that with Knowledge. We forget to play as we get older, don’t we? Or we decide the only things that count as valid when it comes to ‘play’ are the things that hurt us. Getting blind drunk. Casual sex. Taking a selfie and sucking up the loves on Instagram. I clicked through more of the help icons and read more, fascinated. The Library of the Tribe helps you with everything in life. You will probably think: I can do the same with a search engine out there. Not really. A commercial search engine will prioritise the companies that pay them money. This controls the results you get based on who pays to be shown rather than displaying the websites that have the best knowledge. Search Engines are not interested in giving you the best knowledge but in maximising their profit. Did you ever ask yourself why search engines look almost the same as they did 20 years ago? All you see is three to four text rows in the results of your search. Why? Because a corporate search engine does not want you to know more. They want you to click on each 99

THE TRIBE

of the sites they choose and open them first. This is how they make money. With clicks and not with the quality of what they show you. And Wikipedia? - You will ask. Yes, Wikipedia started out as a tribe too. It showed the power of a tribe. Until then Information was in the hands of a few Publishing Companies which laughed at the masses. Now the Lexicons of those companies are used as decoration that has to be dusted every day. But unfortunately Wikipedia also now looks like it did 16 years ago. Not much has changed. I nodded as I read. This was why The Tribe had felt something new was needed, and they had done it. They had joined forces and created the next generation of Wikipedia, and it was amazing. As I played around with the Knowledge Decks I had created, I thought of creating a completely new one about the 5th dimension building and what I had learned so far in my research on buildings of prayer and worship. In the search window I typed in: Create an Information Card. The digital assistant replied: You can only create a new Information Card after submitting a Project Proposal to the Tribe once you have been accepted into the 3rd Dimension. Once you are a 5D Geschwister of the Tribe you are free to create as many Information Cards as you wish. I appreciated the fact that the Tribe was very careful about each step they allowed you to take towards them. Knowledge was very important to them and they obviously wanted to make sure you had the right attitude and the proper experience before you started sharing your knowledge. I clicked on a page icon after the text and an application form opened up. I started typing.

100

HOWARD ROARK

MIDLIFE LOVE I met with Taya. From our “chat over a coffee,” we moved onto “a chat over Greek food,” and after that, to “a film at the cinema.” After the film ended at around midnight, we hugged each other and said goodnight. Five minutes later, while I was on the train home, I texted her to ask if she would like to meet for brunch the next morning. As I waited for her reply I reflected on how you weren’t supposed to do that. The Sick Society demanded that you had to wait at least a day to ask someone out again. ‘Don’t look too keen,’ yelled all the advice columns. You had to play at love like you did at business. Always using rules to make sure you had the most power. Never show weakness, keep your mask on at all times. Don’t let the person you’re interested in know that you actually care too much. As I stared at my phone I felt the anger wash through me. Why should I have to play a game with Taya? I realised I didn’t give a damn anymore about that sort of thing. ‘Fuck you and your games, Sick Society,’ I thought. My phone beeped with a message and I was gratified to see that my “fuck you” sentiments were returned. “I would love to,” said the message. After that we met almost daily. Before Taya I’d dated several women around my age. I’d used a dating app. My first date was a total disaster. I’d really liked the look of the unknown woman. Her photo was great and chatting to her via text was fun. But when we finally met I barely recognised her until she came up to me and introduced herself. It turned out she’d been using a photo of herself that was over 15 years old and it made me sad and angry she had felt the need to lie about who she was before we’d even met. In person we had little in common and we had sat awkwardly, having coffee that was punctuated with stilted conversation, until we’d both made our excuses and left. When I got home I deleted the app. The other dates I had were similarly frustrating. Everyone I met seemed to have an agenda of some kind. They put me in a box before even getting to 101

THE TRIBE

know me, and on reflection I did the same to them too. Plus it didn’t help that I felt like I could never match up to expectations. The women in their thirties who I dated were mostly interested in getting married and having kids, but I had closed that chapter already. The ones in their forties and early fifties were often already so successful in their careers, or so fixated on a relationship that ticked a dizzying array of boxes, that they would only accept the “perfect” “successful” “good looking” “smart” “funny” “solvent” “goal oriented” “fashion aware” “George Clooney” style man. Each date I had left me feeling more despondent than the last. My last encounter with a pretty woman in her forties had been after I’d finished a presentation on Sustainable Architecture in a circle of rich Meganetworld senior employees. It had been short and depressing. Her: ‘Do I know you?’ Me: ‘Same question I ask my mirror every morning. Never get an answer though.’ Her: ‘I’m not in the mood for deep conversations.’ Me: ‘I’m not in the mood for small talk.’ That was it. She turned her back and walked away. And with her went my desire to date any woman again. Does it have to be that hard? Talking. Really talking. Why do we wrap banal conversation around us like a fortress? Are we so afraid of accidentally showing something of ourselves to each other? What do we have to lose? Does it matter if you lose it? Taya took me by surprise. There was something natural about the time I spent with her. I tried to tell myself she was too young for me, that being around her would only break my heart in the end. I figured she would eventually get fed up with our dates and want to go out and party in smoky Berlin bars. I couldn’t stand those places. How there was always an air of desperation to them, of people trying to pretend they were really having fun, rather than eyeing each other to see who was the prettiest or the coolest. But I had to admit that being around Taya made me feel young again. My father’s voice echoed in my head. “You are young. Besides, what does age mean anyway?” I knew on some level that he was right. I knew people in their fifties who behaved like they were teenagers and I knew people in their twenties who acted like wise men in their sixties. Maybe it wasn’t that she 102

HOWARD ROARK

made me feel young, so much as her playful way lifted my spirits. She had both. Complexity and simplicity. I tried to think about what we actually had in common. She had showed a lot of interest in my 5th house design. Asked a lot of questions. We would walk around Berlin and I would explain the architecture of the buildings to her. I loved it when she held my right arm with both her hands, as though she was hugging it, before pressing the side of her body against mine. We would walk together like that along the big alleys and I felt happy and content. I was standing with Taya before the Berlin TV tower a week or two later, looking up with her at the reflection of the sunset on the glazed section of the viewing platform. As I gazed at the platform a wave of emotions ran through me. The feel of Taya’s arm in mine made my heart soar. I felt as though parts of me were waking up, parts I had thought were long dead. Taya had a lot to do with that but I knew what I was feeling was more than just the sensation of falling in love. Becoming part of the Tribe was opening my mind to new feelings. Feelings of belonging. Of love. Of the knowledge that I was a consciousness. Suddenly an idea began to form in my mind of how the 5th Dimension building could look. How emotions might be translated into architecture. The realisation floored me for a moment. Then I heard a familiar voice behind me. ‘Is the Architect looking for inspiration?’ I turned around and as my eyes got used to the darker side of the sunset, I recognised Paula. Taya dropped my arm as though her father had just caught her kissing a stranger. Paula walked towards us. Tall, slender, dressed in designer clothes. Beautiful as always. ‘Paula, good to see you!’ I broke into a large smile. Seeing her made me feel incredibly happy. She’d been the person who had first inspired me to explore the Tribe, and her appearance now, when I was just realising how I might design the 5th Dimension, filled me with a sense of wonder. I reached forward and hugged her. ‘How have you been? How is life? How is The Tribe treating you?’ My words came out in a jumble of excitement. Then out of the corner of my eye I saw Taya was shooting a suspicious look at me. Paula gave me her 103

THE TRIBE

sweet smile and without saying a word turned her face to Taya, signaling to me that I should introduce her. I felt embarrassed for a moment. ‘This is Taya. We met in the 1st Dimension. She was part of my adventure to Hamburg. We are Geschwister now.’ I said the word with so much pride that Paula started laughing. She shook Taya’s hand and said hello before turning back to me. ‘You look good. I can tell. Obviously you found a soulmate also.’ I was not sure exactly what she meant by that but I couldn’t help glancing at Taya with adoration. I realised she still didn’t look very happy and it occurred to me she might be wondering who exactly Paula was. I hurried to explain. ‘Paula was the one who recommended me to the Tribe. I owe her my new life. And,’ I paused as I smiled at Paula, ‘She has also given me the challenge of my life as an architect. To design a house for our consciousness.’ Taya nodded tightly and then turned her mouth up in a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Paula looked from Taya to me for a moment. ‘Well, I’ve got to go. It was good to see you again. I’m really glad you are progressing in the Tribe. Looking forward to seeing the final design, though. Nice meeting you, Taya. Take care Geschwister. VD’ She made the VD sign with her hand and moved slowly towards the City Hall. I stared after her, still amazed at the coincidence. At that moment Paula was like the Delphic Oracle speaking to King Leonidas of Sparta. It felt like she’d shown up right then to help propel me to the next step. The 5th Dimension House was becoming clearer and clearer with each moment. I thought about how people often said there was no such thing as coincidences. Carl Jung called it Synchronicity. Where events and people align to help you towards your purpose. And here it had happened once more. Being in the right place, at the right time, meeting the right person. ‘Shall we go now?’ Taya’s nervous voice cut into my thoughts. I guessed she believed I was attracted to Paula. I thought for a moment about explaining and telling her that yes I was attracted to Paula, but not in the same way. I was attracted to her as a human. Not as a woman, not in the way I was to Taya. I opened my mouth to say something but at that moment Taya grabbed my hand. She squeezed it and leant forward to kiss me lightly on the lips. 104

HOWARD ROARK

When we broke apart she was smiling at me. We turned and I put my arm around her shoulder. She held onto my hand and held it tightly, pressing it to her body, just above her breast. I could feel her heart beating quickly under her jumper. We walked slowly away from the tower as the fading light turned the sky a deep inky blue. Then she leant her head on my shoulder and I felt her heartbeat return to normal. I turned my face and kissed her forehead, and as my lips touched her skin I knew I was in love.

105

THE TRIBE

3RD DIMENSION A few days passed and then I received my second package from The Tribe. I smiled as I took the box to my flat. I had no idea what was inside but I trusted it would be something good. Carefully I opened the box. Inside was a pair of neatly packed glasses that looked more like swimming goggles because of the thick black rubber around the frames of the glass. The glazed surface was made of mirror glass with purple and blue tones. Attached to the frame that went to the ears were black earphones with an adjustable cable. In the middle was a small raised section that looked like a microphone that was directed towards the mouth. I checked the rest of the box and found a cable and a pair of black gloves. On the outer side of the index fingers on the gloves were three buttons. Attached to the back of the gloves was a light, flat, round-shaped device. I guessed that was the battery. Inside the box was a card: Connect your VD glasses to your VD phone. Carefully I connected the glasses to the phone. A short demonstration film appeared, showing me how to scan my face with the camera on the VD phone. I used my phone to slowly scan my face, starting from one ear and moving to the other. After I’d done this three times a green ‘Complete’ icon showed up on the screen. Then I was instructed to put on the black gloves and VD glasses. Carefully I put them on. Everything was pitch black now. Some seconds later white text slowly appeared. “Welcome to the 3rd Dimension! The next VD Realm Guide will be available in 3 hours. In the meantime, you can choose a body for your avatar. Looking forward to meeting you. VD” The text disappeared and on the left side I saw my scanned head rotating in the air. On the right side there was a rectangular object that looked like a vertical standing flat screen TV. There was a selection of male and female bodies. I swiped through for a while until I found a body that looked similar to mine. I hit confirm. Then a selection of clothes appeared on the screen. I 106

HOWARD ROARK

went for the typical Architect look. Black shoes. Black trousers. Black turtleneck pullover. Black jacket. After I’d chosen my avatar, a pair of gloves like those I was wearing appeared. A voice explained how they were to be used to navigate myself in the body of the avatar around the VD Realm. Then the glasses turned themselves off. I checked my watch, a bit disappointed that I had to wait three hours to enter the VD Realm. Then I remembered the The Guide of the VD Tribe. Obviously nothing in the Tribe was done in a rush. Patience was a virtue we had lost in our stress-filled society. We wanted everything now! I decided to go for a long walk. When I returned I checked the time to see if the three hours had passed. They had so I slowly put my VD glasses back on. The first thing I saw was a circular shaped room with white shiny walls, white floors, and a white ceiling. Before me was a white double door. My curiosity heightened. After a minute or two the doors slid to one side. Behind them was only darkness. Then an Asian looking young man in his early twenties emerged from the darkness. He was wearing black shoes. Black trousers. A black turtleneck pullover and jacket. On his face were perched black-framed glasses. He looked my clothes in surprise before breaking into peals of laughter. I grinned back at him. ‘Let me guess.’ I said ‘You’re an Architect too?’ ‘How could you tell?’ he said, as he returned my grin. We introduced ourselves and he continued. ‘Well, let’s begin your tour of the VD Realm.’ He gestured like a conductor who is just about to instruct his orchestra to play the first note of Beethoven's 9th symphony and said, ‘Glass clear!’ Slowly the white walls and ceiling started clearing and before me a colourful landscape opened up. It was filled with beautiful buildings and all kinds of green vegetation. I looked around. We seemed to be on top of a round shaped glazed tower surrounded by what looked like a circular city. It reminded me a little of the Venus Project but the designs and layout were very different. I gazed around me in awe. 107

THE TRIBE

‘Welcome to VDR’ my architect guide said in a majestic voice. ‘What the Geschwister learn in the 2nd Dimension, they put into practice in the 3rd Dimension. You saw in the Library that the Tribe has 15 Fields of Knowledge. The 3rd Dimension is the Sandbox of the Tribe. What you see inside the Circular City is the workshop of The Buildings Knowledge Field. All kinds of architects and engineers work on this project. We design multiple structures and test them here. Each Geschwister can come to VDR and build, research, assemble, dissemble, and experiment on the projects they are working on.’ He continued. ‘As you can see, this is a Circular City. We are standing right in the center of it on the 50th floor. A circle stands for equality. Everyone is the same distance from the center. You probably know this is also the most efficient shape for a sustainable city. In the center you have all the buildings that serve the needs of the citizens. Supermarkets, hospitals, offices, cinemas, stadiums and so on.’ ‘And Government services?’ I added. ‘No. There is no need for Government buildings in Circular City. All those services can be done online. The Tribe has no bureaucracy.’ ‘So where does the Government of Circular City meet to make decisions?’ He smiled. ‘You will learn more about the governance of the tribe during your Internship.’ ‘Internship?’ I was beginning to feel impatient. ‘Before moving to the 4th Dimension you will have to successfully complete 15 weeks of internship within the Tribe. During your internship you will help your Geschwister with their projects in each of the 15 Knowledge Fields. We believe that to be able to become a strong Geschwister fit for the Tribe you have to understand the challenges the other Geschwister of your Tribe face. Your internship helps you to understand life within the Tribe and how it evolves. To be an effective part of the bigger picture you have to understand the bigger picture. Forget the image you have in your mind from the society you come from. It is completely wrong.’ I looked at the city again. The heights of the buildings around the glazed tower kept reducing till they reached the outskirts of the circle, where they took the shape of residential buildings. Around the outer areas was much more greenery. Roads cut straight from the outer circle to the center. This meant vehicles from outer areas could take the shortest route possible to 108

HOWARD ROARK

reach the center. Beyond the circular city I saw structures that didn’t resemble buildings. They were too far away for me to see what they were. My VDR Guide knew what I was thinking. ‘OK, VDR is divided in two Realms. The one we are in here is the Gravity Realm. It means that anything you build here is coded to respond to the laws of Gravity that we have on earth. The reason for this is that we want to test things in this Realm in an environment that’s as close as possible to real conditions on earth. Outside of the Circular City is an area we call The Research Realm. This realm has no given restrictions. You can go all the way down to a microscopic level and build things without the need of a microscope. You can increase and decrease objects to any size you like. You see there to my right, just there?’ He pointed. Far behind the Circular City I saw several double helixes in different colours. ‘Those are DNA strands. Our Geschwister from the Health Knowledge Field are working on a project about the DNA code.’ I must have looked baffled because he smiled reassuringly at me. ‘Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it. You know what, why I don't I show you around?’ Then he resumed his orchestra conductor position. ‘Elevator. Ground floor.’ Suddenly the room we were in started moving downwards. ‘We were all a little sceptical about VDR when we joined The Tribe. But when you’re finished you’ll know so much about the world around you that you will be filled with awe about what is out there. Before I experienced this I’d never appreciated the beauty of our nature and the power of the human mind. In the so called “Sick Society” you’re kept in the dark about the environment around you. If you don’t know or understand they can sell all kinds of rubbish to you for lots of money. How else do you think they get people to eat so much junk food, take medications with severe side effects, or live in houses that are full of damaging chemicals? I promise you, it will be an eyeopening experience.’ By now we had reached the Ground Floor. We got out of the glazed tower and he showed me to a driverless car. “Sightseeing Trip” said my Guide as the car started slowly moving. As the car went down side roads lined with beautiful trees I noticed other avatars walking down the roads. 109

THE TRIBE

‘You see, the Tribe is very international. The Geschwister often travel from one place to another. To keep in touch with the other Geschwister they meet here in the City, in the green parks, alleys and shopping centers. They can walk around to see what new things the architects have built, what clothing designers have designed, or what the scientists have invented. It’s a much richer experience than, say, Skyping.’ I had my doubts. Was this what I wanted? Wasn’t this living in a virtual world as a means to escape the real one? The image of people who spend all day locked inside playing online computer games came to mind. Or other escapes like social media, YouTube videos or porn. My guide could tell what I was thinking. ‘Believe it or not, we actually spend more time with each other in the 1st Dimension than we do here. This is just a blueprint to help us envision how the future society could be. We know the current system has failed badly. There’s no transparency in the politics out there. Corruption has been legalized. Real innovation is done behind closed doors so only a few can profit from it. What they call “democracy” is in reality a massively complex system that obscures who is truly making the decisions which affect us all. It’s slavery, but with invisible handcuffs.’ He was right. Now I understood why the journey to The Tribe started in the real world with real people. The shack, the fire, the food, Jerome. The Tribe wasn’t there for you to escape reality. It was there so you could think about and believe in a better future and this “online reality” was just a tool for The Tribe to envision something different. The self-driving car entered the Research Realm and suddenly disappeared along with our avatar bodies. I could now see only my hands and those of my guide. ‘In the Research Realm you don’t need your avatar body anymore,’ he said. ‘You only need your hands so you can see what you are grabbing and shaping. Remember, there are no physical restrictions here, you can jump from the microscopic level to the expansiveness of space.’ I looked around and could see hands moving everywhere. Some were putting together what looked like an airplane engine. Others were operating on a heart. Still more hands were moving strands of DNA. Then I saw hands drawing something on a big sheet of paper. I heard voices talking to each 110

HOWARD ROARK

other, discussing experiment results, designs, equations, geographic locations. I was overwhelmed with emotions I couldn’t express. Then suddenly we were back in the car and our bodies returned. The Architect Guide was looking at me with a big smile. ‘Cool, isn't it?’ I had no idea what to say. He seemed to know how intense the experience had been as he smiled at me in understanding. ‘When you return to the 3rd Dimension we advise that you don’t enter The Research Realm straight away. It will only mess with your head. Instead, you need to enter the 2D Knowledge Field first. From there you can get used to the 3D workshop area of each of the fields one by one. You will have your Geschwister there to help you and eventually you will find your own space.’ He grinned. ‘I just love to give new Geschwister this experience first. You know, shock them a bit.’ He was laughing now but in a pleasant way. My thoughts continued to race. I had no idea how many Geschwister The Tribe had, but I could see the unimaginable potential that was here. I remembered the talk around the fire with Jerome during the weekend away. It seemed like an age ago. ‘Now I understand what Jerome said at the shack.’ I said thoughtfully. ‘What did you think of our Captain?’ I frowned. ‘Our who?’ ‘Jerome is the Captain of The Tribe,’ said my guide slowly. ‘Sorry, say it again?’ I said, feeling bewildered. ‘Jerome. He’s our leader. But The Tribe doesn’t use that term because we think that the term isn’t humble. So instead we use the term Captain because a Captain of a ship is someone who needs a lot of knowledge to successfully sail the ship. Also, a Captain is a person who has to earn their rank by passing all the other ranks to get to that stage. Jerome is our Captain but he prefers to meet the new members we invite in the 1st Dimension.’ Now I was truly impressed. This Tribe worked at a different level to any organisation I’d ever experienced. A more human level, I reflected. In the Sick Society the last person you would meet in an organisation was the leader. They preferred to keep themselves separate. Special people with special privileges. Not only could the average person not meet a President, they would never get anywhere near them. And yet those people made decisions every day that impacted your life. But in the Tribe one of the first people I 111

THE TRIBE

had met was the Captain, and not only had he met me and the others, he had cooked for us, cleaned for us. He had literally served us. I felt strange all of a sudden. Was all this really happening? Could all I’d experienced and heard be true? Or was I in a long and complex dream? That evening I could barely sleep. I kept turning everything I’d learned over in my mind. I knew now, more than ever, that I lived in a society that had forgotten what it means to be human. We had unlearned the basic principles of humanity. Collectively, we had become a machine that only spills pollution. Pollution not just of our environment but of our souls. Now I understood why we felt compelled to destroy our own environment. How we could disregard the amazing, breath-taking natural world around us, and each other. We were a society that knew on some level we were destroying ourselves. And so together we were digging our own graves. It was all too much. I could hardly wait to start the internship.

112

HOWARD ROARK

THE INTERNSHIP Before I had departed from my Architect Guide he’d explained to me the next steps for the Internship. One of the Golden Rules of The Tribe was that you should always meet people in the 1st Dimension first before you did anything with them in the other Dimensions. The exception to this was if someone was in another country and couldn’t meet you in person. There were always exceptions to the rules and I loved that about The Tribe. Rules were made to accommodate the bigger mission and not the other way around. When I joked with my Guide about him not meeting me in person first he told me that he was in Hong Kong when we were doing the tour of the VDR. The internship began with each Tribe member meeting the Gatekeeper of each knowledge Field in the 1st Dimension. The Geschwister called the coloured Knowledge Field squares, Gates. The Gatekeeper explained each project to you and what each Geschwister of that particular Field was working on. Then you would be able to see what was the most important, and what benefit that particular project would have for The Tribe. The Tribe made sure that anything you did was not just for your own ego. This was the only way to get others to help you with it. They also made sure that they only asked people to spend as much time as they were able to in the internship. Some people attended after work or at the weekends. Since I’d quit Meganetworld though I was grateful that I could go every day. The sequencing of the Internship weeks in the Knowledge Fields had a certain logic behind it. You started with the understanding of the basic needs a human being has. So the first Gate I went in was Food. We discussed questions that seemed obvious, but few people seemed to consider in the Sick Society, like - ‘Do you understand what you are eating? How is it going to affect your body? You mind? Your wellbeing?’ Those were the kinds of questions that never 113

THE TRIBE

got addressed at school. My first week in the Food Field was mind blowing as I began to recognise just how little attention most people paid to the kind of fuel they were putting in their bodies, and how much this affected every facet of their lives. It was yet another area of life I would have never come into contact with if I had not found The Tribe. Next we moved on to Clothing. Through helping others I learnt how clothes are made. I was taught about various subjects, including the poisonous chemicals that clothing companies use to colour items such as jeans and how they damage the environment, and the difference between materials like nylon and cotton. Again these were things that I’d barely given thought to before, even though clothing was one of the most fundamental parts of my basic needs. I began The Building Field thinking that I knew a lot about it and was shocked to discover I was wrong. It bought home to me just how much working in a soulless organisation like Meganetworld had changed my perception. I had unlearned how to approach the design of a building from a human needs point of view. In Meganetworld everything was about profit maximisation. That was why the buildings the corporation spat out were environmentally polluting and very uncomfortable to live and work in. When I studied architecture I’d been made to believe that the pinnacle of achievement was about your self-expression. About becoming “the God” with everyone else living with your creation whether they liked it or not. The “Bilbao effect” they called it. As architects, many of us really believed that architecture solves social problems. I guessed to some extent it did but I knew it was not the answer to something that wasn’t materialistic. I thought about how to this day part of the architect’s pilgrimage was to go to France to see ghetto style buildings done by “star” architects who thought they knew how society worked. The buildings remained empty and left to decay like the ego of the architect who designed them. I’d always been struck by how some of the most famous buildings in the architecture world are amongst the most uncomfortable ones to work and live. Architects would always feel that compromising in their design meant restricting their artistic godliness. Not to mention that most of them hated to work with each other. Wherever I worked there was this atmosphere of fierce competition and envy. Not in 114

HOWARD ROARK

The Tribe though. This was a completely new approach to me as I was shown how the Geschwister saw architecture as a technology to serve humans and not their dinosaur egos. In the fourth week I learnt about Health. I discovered new information about the body and how it functions. We discussed allergies and disease and how they are caused. Which medications can be helpful and which ones harmed. I learnt about sports and their effect on the body. Next we moved on to Communication. Another field that the Sick Society had totally forgotten. I had long discussions about how we communicate with each other. How could we transfer a message in such a way that the other party understood? What role could technology play in it? These were also basics of human nature, and yet people in the Sick Society were rarely taught about methods of effective communication. Transport was another field where I discovered a future vision with driverless transportation and new forms of public transport. The Tribe had also found a genius way of creating an internal mailing service. It wasn’t comprehensive because they did not have yet that capacity, but it was used for whatever they could. If a Geschwister travelled a lot, then The Tribe used an Artificial Intelligence program that requested they take packages with them to the country they were travelling to and hand it over to the Geschwister when they arrived. This had two benefits. Firstly The Tribe gave you Cryptocurrency for your trouble, but more importantly you got to meet another Geschwister who you would probably never get to meet any other time in the 1st Dimension. Often these meetings led to new experiences and friendships and it was common for Geschwister to offer each other a place to stay while they were travelling. People ended up cancelling their hotel reservations and staying instead with their Geschwister. For me this was a brilliant concept. To be able to travel somewhere and know there is someone from your Tribe you could meet when you got there. I loved it. I’d travelled a lot on business and I resented the anonymous hotels I stayed in. It didn’t matter how luxurious the hotels were. Everyone locked their door and sat alone in their room. It had gotten to the point where I’d started to hate travelling. After I joined the Tribe, I began loving it again. I 115

THE TRIBE

much preferred to sleep on a Geschwister couch than on a huge luxury hotel bed. I spent the first few weeks learning the different fields and I loved all the new knowledge I was obtaining and how it added to what I had already experienced in life. I could feel my mind expanding as a newfound sense of curiosity began to grow inside me. But what really intrigued me were the next three fields. They were what made The Tribe truly powerful.

116

HOWARD ROARK

ELECTION DAYS So far, I’d met with The Manager twice this week. The set of his shoulders was tense and each time he gestured a waft of stale sweat hit my nose. He smelt worse than ever and it was a struggle not to back away from him. The second time we’d met I’d barely said two words as he talked anxiously about the political situation. Pressure was mounting. The wife of Meganetworld’s billionaire owner had set her sights on becoming a candidate for the next US presidential election. The current golden haired incumbent had failed miserably to make “America Great Again”. Unemployment and crime rates in the US had skyrocketed. This in itself didn’t bother Meganetworld’s owner, or his wife. The wealth of the few who controlled the biggest corporations had grown while the rest of the world’s wealth contracted. Other countries followed wherever the US led. The EU had become a ghost government which was slowly stripping all local governments of their power. The situation had become so skewed in favour of the rich that a farmer in a tiny village in Ireland and a cleaner in a small town in Portugal were obliged to pay higher taxes than a banker in London. On top of that the EU was bogged down in endless red tape. Even the smallest details regarding how the farmer was supposed to plant his seeds or which products the cleaner had to use on a toilet were regulated to within an inch of their life. It went without saying that all these regulations served to benefit the large corporations. The Meganetworld owner’s wife didn’t concern herself with thoughts of improving the economy for farmers or cleaners though. All she cared about was ensuring Meganetworld reached its ultimate goal - to become the only corporation in the world. To achieve that she would need to become the most powerful person in the world. The President of the United States of America.

117

THE TRIBE

The Manager said that the Marketing Department of Meganetworld’s headquarters in New York had worked day and night for over twenty months, planning her campaign. He waved his arms as he talked. ‘They know that the political landscape has now changed almost beyond recognition Goby. You’ve seen it. Now the only thing that matters is manipulating the electorate’s emotions.’ He laughed. ‘The most powerful job in the world, and it all comes down to how well you can stoke the herd mentality. Stir up the sheep. Nothing else.’ I hated that he was right, but he was. After a series of meetings with her husband and advisors, “Team Meganet” as they were privately known, agreed that the political pendulum was now ready to swing back from the previous president’s objectives. So they decided to play what they called the “feminism card.” The slogan of the campaign was: “Make Pussy Great Again.” Her message was that only a female president could save the US from social and economic downfall. But this was only the buzz side of the story. A cynical way of pretending she was being progressive. The main part of her program was what she called the ‘Atlantic Union’. One Government that combined the might of the USA, Canada and The EU. She told officials and the public she wanted to imitate the “success” of the European Union. After extensive lobbying of the EU government the useless EU bureaucrats agreed to support the creation of the Atlantic Union. They didn’t care of course whether the deal was good for the majority of the huge number of citizens who would now come under control of this enormous political behemoth. No, what reeled them in was when the pretty billionaire's wife, a former model, proposed to locate the Parliament of The Atlantic Union in the Bahamas. She promised them big villas with swimming pools and private jets that flew three times a day from the Bahamas to Miami, available exclusively for the members of the parliament. It was only a 50minute flight, so they could be home in time to enjoy a meal with their families and a relaxed evening by the pool. Compared to the cold, rainy Brussels environment this felt like an eternal holiday for the EU bureaucrats. They voted unanimously to support the idea of The Atlantic Union and hastened to promise the people in Europe that better times were ahead of 118

HOWARD ROARK

them now that the USA and Canada would be joining. They sold it as unity and strength, a world where all could prosper. It was, of course, another lie. The biggest change was that the Atlantic Union would have real power and could overwrite any Local Government decision at any time. The plans were put into motion with little opposition. Most people had stopped caring about politics. They were struggling to survive and had lost hope. The system had become so complex that no one saw a way out of it. Berlin was full of posters of the billionaire's wife holding her hands around her belly button in the form of a vagina. Below was the slogan, “Make Pussy Great Again!” I tried to avoid looking at the giant posters. I found them utterly infuriating. The way they so blatantly contradicted what the gender equality fight was for; it was pure sexism in the most grotesque form and yet no one seemed to care or understand. The smug face of the owner’s wife made me want to vomit. This woman represented exactly what she should have been fighting against. Women as merely sex symbols, and a twisted version of feminism that disempowered people while pretending to help them. If I had to hear that woman’s shrill voice on the TV one more time, so fucking help me. I could hardly avoid it though, which was even more depressing. Every newspaper and media outlet ran stories about the American elections day and night. Everywhere you went it was all people talked about. Meganetworld was on high alert and I could see the paranoia in the faces of every Top Manager I passed whenever I entered the building. I had been trying to go there as little as possible but some days it was unavoidable. The Manager now wanted me to discover if The Tribe was planning to sabotage the owner’s wife’s campaign. I could have laughed in his face when he asked me if I’d had seen any plans or heard any talk about what he termed “Terrorist Activism”. He had no idea that The Tribe didn’t waste their energy fighting the status quo. They created alternative systems that helped The Tribe first and foremost. If they felt these could help the rest of society, they made them open source. Their motto was: If society really wants it, it will embrace it.

119

THE TRIBE

I thought about explaining this to him but I knew it wouldn’t compute. He couldn’t wrap his head around the idea that a group of people might genuinely be coming together out of a sense of community and support, and that gaining more money, and ultimately more power to control wasn’t a part of it. In his world those were the only things that motivated people. I guess I couldn’t blame him. I’d shared his cynicism as I entered the first few dimensions, and it was hardly as though I’d been filling his head with positive stories about how incredible I was beginning to find spending time with The Tribe. I’d been surprised by how quickly I’d come to feel at home during my internship. Sure the weekend had made an impact on me, but I hadn’t really believed The Tribe could be so different. I’d figured Jerome was a good salesman and The Tribe was a bunch of well-meaning but naively idealistic misfits. It wasn’t until the first month of my internship was over that I had fully accepted there was way more to them than that. I was spending more and more time in VDR and learning the different Knowledge Fields. It was like being in a parallel universe. I was beginning to look forward to getting up each day and showing up to my internship, excited to discover what I’d learn next. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt like that. School had bored me shitless, and besides, with my parents always drunk or stoned or at each other’s throats they hardly noticed when I didn’t bother to go in. None of my teachers seemed to care either. I was just another problem kid, a girl from one of those kinds of families. The kinds of families that made you invisible. The social side of The Tribe still bothered me. I tried to keep as much distance as possible from the other Geschwister. The meeting in the park with the skinny, hot chick called Paula had bothered me more than I liked to admit. She had looked at me with this bright, searching gaze, and when she smiled for a second I felt as though she could see right into my thoughts. The Architect had worried I was jealous and had been charming as he reassured me. I let him do it, if it made him happy to think I was jealous then fine. I wasn’t the jealous type, I reminded myself. Maybe a little too often. The meeting had reinforced my decision to spend as little time as I could with the other Geschwister. However this was getting increasingly difficult, especially because of the Architect. Some days I didn’t know what to think 120

HOWARD ROARK

about our developing relationship. After we’d agreed to meet for coffee I’d sat staring at our text message exchange for a long time. I’d been so nervous before we met that I changed outfits three times. I even put on makeup for god’s sake. Just a little. I told myself that the coffee was just another way to get close to him, find out more information for The Manager, but the moment we met I knew I had to give up any pretence of it being just “business”. We met with increasing frequency, until the day arrived where I realised that he had become a daily fact of my life. It felt as natural to wake up and send him a text as it did to have my breakfast and brush my teeth. The times I spent with him had gotten to the point where I felt as though I was a different person. With him I was Taya - Geschwister and lover. When we laughed together, or he held me and we talked excitedly about all we were learning in The Tribe, it was easy to forget Agent Goby and all she represented. Scarily easy. Coming back from that Universe to Meganetworld and The Manager was like switching from heaven to hell. Each meeting I had with him was like plunging back into a cold reality, one which I was growing to despise. I’d never liked Meganetworld and I certainly had no love for The Manager and his arrogant, self-important bullshit. But now? Now the sight of the Meganet building filled me with dread and a panicky sensation. I knew some of it was guilt. That I was lying. To the Tribe, the Architect, the Manager, hell maybe even to myself as well. I shook my head, trying to fight down the anxiety. ‘I’ve got this under control,’ I said firmly to myself. So, I was keeping a few things from The Manager. So what? I wasn’t hiding the information he was requesting. The Tribe truly weren’t planning a sabotage. As for The Architect? Well, that was...different. I was different. I felt more myself when I was with him. Sometimes I even wished I could tell him my real name. But for now, Taya would have to do. ‘Agent Goby has nothing to do with him, with us,’ I said, willing myself to believe it. Just then my phone beeped and I saw it was a text from The Architect, a short and happy message hoping I was having a nice day. I tapped out a reply and added a couple of kisses, smiling as I remembered our last date. ‘Totally under control,’ I breathed, and hit “send”. 121

THE TRIBE

TRANSPARENCY If I had thought my internship was inspiring so far, it was nothing on how I felt when I learnt about the Government Field. When it came to Governance, transparency was the fundamental aim. Every Geschwister had the right to vote, and it was not voluntary, it was an obligation. If you were part of The Tribe you had to be active in the decisions that affected everyone. One Representative was elected for each Knowledge Field. The Tribe called the representative Metis. In Greek Mythology a Metis was a goddess of wisdom and deep thought. The Metis from all the Fields would come together once a month to discuss the matters of The Tribe. In January of each year, the Geschwister from each Knowledge Field would elect their Metis. Then the 15 Metis would work together for 6 months under the Leadership of the previous Captain. In June they would propose three candidates from their midst for the post of Captain. The whole Tribe would then vote for the Captain they wanted to lead them until the following year. A Captain or a Metis could be voted in for as many terms as the Geschwister were happy with. There were no restrictions. Practically speaking, this meant every Geschwister in The Tribe was obliged to vote twice a year. Since Voting was all online, it was easy to do so. The Metis then worked on the day-to-day business governing The Tribe. Most of the services in The Tribe were online and automated. The coders of the Technology Field had developed an Artificial Intelligence which eliminated the need for unfriendly and arrogant bureaucrats like in the Sick Society. Every meeting of the Metis took place online and could be attended by any Geschwister who wanted to. Their decisions were also made online. I was curious as to how disputes were settled in The Tribe and the solution was, in my view, ingenious. If there was a dispute between two Geschwister or between two groups, a secret Jury was gathered. This jury was convened 122

HOWARD ROARK

not by a human but by a computer algorithm. The algorithm would randomly choose 15 Geschwister and ensure that each Geschwister got a chance to be in the jury. Each jury member selected would receive an invitation to an anonymous forum where all the information was available about the dispute. The members of the chosen Jury could discuss the matter online and ask questions completely anonymously in this Forum. Then they would vote anonymously on the decision. This guaranteed total neutrality for disputes. The algorithm was coded smartly so that it made sure the chosen jury had no direct relation to the disputing parties. It was able to do this because The Tribe had small Social Networks. It had its own version of Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and eBay in the Society Knowledge Field. This was the brilliance of The Tribe. It took the technologies the Sick Society had developed and used them for a better cause. These technologies were for the benefit of the people using them and not for the benefit of the bank balance of the founder and his investors. The Finance Field was the next in my Internship pilgrimage, and it also blew my mind. It was a top priority for The Tribe to be as economically independent as possible from the Sick Society. The Tribe had its own Digital Currency. Like Government services, the Crypto Currency was based on Blockchain technology. This made every financial transaction inside The Tribe transparent and difficult to hack. Artificial Intelligence also played an important role. It kept track of the economic development of the tribe and constantly gave recommendations on which Field needed help. The Metis, led by the Captain, would then shift resources to the Field that needed support. The Tribe had a taxation system but they didn’t call it Tax they call it a Communi. The concept was very simple. 10% of whatever was earned inside The Tribe was kept automatically for Tribe governance. There was no such thing as a Tax return or Taxation Ministry. There was no need for it, all the financial Transactions inside the Blockchain Technology could be transparently followed by anyone who wished to.

123

THE TRIBE

I thought of the Taxation system in Germany. I had to pay over 40% of my salary and not only that, I also had to hire a specialist to do my tax return because no one understood the taxation system. These specialists cost a lot of money to hire. On top of that the wealthier citizens paid hardly any tax at all because they were able to take advantage of complex loopholes to ensure they paid as little as possible. What it amounted to was not a taxation system but an exploitation system. The German Government had even added taxes such as the TV Tax, which citizens had to pay whether they owned a TV or not. It reminded me of Feudalism when the poor farmers were taxed for stupid things like windows. The bigger the window in your house the bigger the tax you had to pay. How could the people in our “democratic” society accept such exploitation? Why did the taxation system have to be so complicated that no one really understood it? What made me even more furious was I knew that if I were to ask the German Government what they were doing with the tax I was paying, I’d be told it was none of my business. But if I failed to file my taxes, or told them it was not their business what I did with the money I earned, I could easily expect a knock on the door from a policeman. How could we all live in such a system? It was a special kind of madness. The 10% Communi and the transparency The Tribe gave over financial matters was a welcome relief in comparison. Artificial Intelligence used by The Tribe also made sure competition was regulated properly. This took me to the next Knowledge Field: Business. If you wanted to open a business in VDR you first had to make sure you thoroughly researched what was already available and how good it was. The Tribe had a rating system for each business and the Geschwister were encouraged to use it. This would benefit the other Geschwister but also the business itself - to help them know how and where to improve their products and services. The rating was reset at the end of each year. If a business got bad ratings, this was their chance to improve and win good ratings.

124

HOWARD ROARK

But the real genius of the Artificial Intelligence was its ability to recommend a business to you that gave you the highest chance of success based on ratings and the data it collected. The AI knew where the higher demand was and where you had room for improvement. Of course, you weren’t obliged to follow the recommendation but it helped you understand your motivations about why you wanted to start that particular business in the first place. Each business had a profit cap. Any profits that were achieved beyond that cap went directly to Tribe Governance. The Metis, with the help of recommendations from AI, allocated that money to the fields that needed it. The profit cap also helped Tribe members to keep control of the sickness of Greed which everyone had to some extent. It made total sense to me. I’d learned that people who were genuinely happy in life had no need to consume products all the time just for the sake of having more. This didn’t mean that it was wrong to become involved in the things we ate, wore or used. I thought about my kitchen table and how I would tell people about its story. It was a huge piece of a tree trunk slice which I’d found in a dusty and forgotten corner of a warehouse in Western Australia. I’d spent days sanding it until the beautiful colour of the timber came out clearly. I would never trade that table for another one, especially not one which was mass-produced. That table had my sweat on it, it was a part of me. It made me think about how as humans we are all unique and we want unique things. Not a lot, sometimes maybe only one or two things, but each of those had a story behind them. One-size-fits-all products were only driven by profit and not the needs of people. They were sold by huge marketing machines, designed to brainwash people into buying poor quality items for large amounts of money. Or were made and sold so cheaply that the only way they could be produced was by mass exploitation of other humans. I thought about all the megastores where most people now bought the items they used each day. In my local area I could choose from perhaps six multinational companies who had a near total monopoly on goods and services. In The Tribe there might also be six people producing the items I wanted to buy but I would know each of them personally. I realised this kind of economic model might mean that there were people out there who were still selling the same amount of things rather 125

THE TRIBE

than one company. But the difference to me was stark. If I bought from my Geschwister and them from me, it was about more than a simple financial transaction. It was about give and take and building personal bonds. If I became greedy and tried to get products at a cheaper rate than they were worth, or tried to overcharge for my services, then my reward would be losing the love of my Tribe. It came down to what was more important. There was a cost to everything. Nobody could expect The Tribe to love and support them fairly if they were not willing to offer the same in return. Now I had begun to fully understand why such a small group of people could come up with such genius inventions. The secret of The Tribe´s success was not Competition but a Common Goal. A shared vision. The Tribe wasn’t driven by the mantra “Greed is Good,” but by the knowledge that Greed is Bad. They were rejecting the idea that competing was something to aspire to, and instead embraced the concept that having a common goal was what was truly worthwhile.

126

HOWARD ROARK

TRADE SECRETS The black Audi screeched to a halt at my feet. It had been waxed so that the paintwork gleamed and the rear windows were tinted to prevent anyone from seeing into it. I braced myself before slowly opening the door and sliding inside. The car was hazy with cigarette smoke and the acrid smell hit me like a sharp slap. I’d barely closed the door before the car sped off once more. I looked at The Manager with a raised eyebrow but he ignored me for the time being. The ashtray next to him was full of half-finished cigarettes. When the car stopped at a traffic light, he finally opened his mouth. ‘Last night the Police arrested your Subject.’ I felt my face freeze. The Architect was in prison? A loud scream pierced my mind. ‘On what charges?’ I said, wincing as I heard the tremble in my voice. ‘Of stealing trade secrets from Meganetworld.’ I took a deep breath, which was a terrible idea in the hazy, stale atmosphere. I coughed a couple of times and then tried to inject a note of casual surprise into my voice. ‘Oh, did he really?’ I felt a hot pearl of sweat run down the back of my neck. The Manager let out a short laugh. ‘Of course not. The Police found a laptop in his apartment full of files from us.’ The bastard gave a smug smile which displayed a film of spittle that had gathered right in the corner of his mouth. I resisted the urge to lean forward and slap him even though what he said didn’t come as a shock to me. Planting fake evidence was a standard tactic of Meganetworld UID, hell, I’d even done it myself in the past. Great time for a taste of my own medicine. The thought made me suddenly furious. ‘Why was I not informed about this before the arrest?’ ‘Since when do I ask your permission for what I do, Goby?’ He barked back loudly. My eyes met his in the rearview mirror and I got the impression of a snake carefully watching its prey. My mind was racing as I tried to figure out what all this meant. Had he seen me with the Architect and was now playing some kind of twisted game with me? I’d not been that careful lately when we had been out in public together, and had often been 127

THE TRIBE

openly affectionate with the Architect, holding his hand and even kissing him. Dread began to prickle my insides; I had to be careful with my response. ‘Of course you don’t need to ask my permission,’ I said. ‘Did they get any useful information out of him?’ ‘Not really. For some strange reason his lawyer was at the police station within half an hour of the arrest being made so we didn’t get much out of him then. The Tribe organization must have people inside the police. We have to be very careful.’ The Manager chuckled. ‘Mind you, it will be difficult for him to deny the evidence found in his apartment. That poor bastard will likely be locked away for at least 10 years.’ The dread intensified and the stuffy stale air of the car was suddenly too much. I opened the window and put my face out, letting the cold air smash against my cheeks. The Manager was laughing even more unpleasantly now. ‘Obviously this Frank has messed up your feelings Goby? Was he that good in bed?’ Oh God. Now I seriously wanted to puke. The old bastard was clearly enjoying thinking about me sexually and his fantasy crawled over my entire body like a cold snake. It travelled between my legs and up to my breasts, before squeezing around my neck so tightly that I felt like I could hardly breathe. Suddenly, a moment of clarity hit. ‘Did you say Frank?’ I leaned back into the car and pressed the button to close the window. ‘Yes. Don’t pretend you don't remember his name anymore.’ He shot me an angry look before pulling into a nearby car park. He put on the handbrake and then turned to me. ‘I swear to god Goby, if you play games with me, I will make sure you end up in a dark hole for the rest of your life.’ I felt wobbly, as though I’d just got off a wild rollercoaster ride. Just a few moments ago the Architect had been lost to me forever. Now with the sound of boring Frank’s name I could suddenly breathe again. Maybe later I’d start to feel bad for boring Frank; for pretending to fall for him and then for what Meganetworld were doing to him. But right now all I could feel was relief. ‘Are you listening to me?’ shouted The Manager. Shit. I knew I had to recover and fast. He was really wound up now and was narrowing his eyes suspiciously. 128

HOWARD ROARK

‘Yes Sir. Forgive me. It just came as a shock. So fast.’ The Manager kept on staring, and I knew I had to give him something. I lowered my eyes like I was ashamed. ‘Yes, maybe after sleeping with him I did get some feelings. I am very sorry.’ The Manager’s breathing began to slow down. ‘I guess the Honey Trap affected me more than I thought it would, Sir. Don’t worry, it won’t happen again.’ He searched my face for a moment before slowly nodding. ‘It's ok. These things can happen in the field. I’m sure you will be more careful next time.’ He sounded calm now. Seriously, what was going on with him? His moods were changing more rapidly as time went on and he was looking increasingly stressed. Guess this assignment was getting to a lot of us. ‘You have to understand what is at stake here, Goby. Billions of dollars. Meganetworld controls all innovations on this planet. They either buy inventors out or make them disappear. There simply cannot be competitive technologies out there that disrupt their profits. Even if those technologies help humanity. Anyone who tries is dealt with.’ He lit another cigarette. ‘Your subject was working on developing a battery for electric cars which would enable them to drive 2500 km with one charge.’ His voice started rising again. ‘One charge, Goby. Do you have any idea what that would mean? That invention alone could collapse the oil industry in a matter of months.’ He took another drag of his cigarette. ‘Of course, Meganetworld owns patents for batteries that go even further than 2500 km. But this one almost slipped through the cracks. Hell Meganetworld could have had these kinds of electric cars on the market years ago. Why haven’t they done that? Because they make billions with petrol and diesel driven cars. Billions, Goby.’ ‘But, the environment…’ It was out of my mouth before I realised what I was saying. A part of my mind was looking at myself curiously. The environment? Since when had I cared about that? The Tribe must be having more of an effect on me than I’d thought. The Manager looked at me as though I’d lost my mind. ‘What environment? You think my bosses give a shit about the environment? You think they give a shit about humans? All they care is their fucking money.’ Now he was shouting. Droplets of spit began to decorate 129

THE TRIBE

the steering wheel. He breathed heavily for a moment and then turned to me. ‘Get out of the car.’ I jumped out without saying a word. The car sped off. There was something really off with the old man, I’d never seen him lose it like that. Although the air outside was cold I felt fire lace my body. It was clear the corporation was slowly taking the first steps to crash The Tribe. I badly needed to see the Architect.

130

HOWARD ROARK

LIFELONG LEARNING The weeks were flying by and I couldn’t get enough. The Tribe had managed to create a small, healthy, human oriented economy with the help of the latest Internet technologies. I would buy everything I needed from my Geschwister. Sure, the Internet made it possible to buy whatever you needed online, but if my Geschwister had a shop nearby in the 1st Dimension I went there to shop. Why on earth would I give my money to an exploitation machine like Meganetworld? The technologies The Tribe used made it possible for small businesses to not only survive but thrive and create a good life together with your Geschwister. In the Technology Field for example I saw how 3D Printers were used to produce an array of items for daily use. I was shown how the VD phones and VD glasses were built. How the Gloves were made. All of it was on a small scale, based on the needs the AI identified. There was no need for huge factories with inhumane conditions. The Geschwister had their greed under control. There was no need to produce millions of the same things because you wanted to be a millionaire or a billionaire. If someone had that kind of greed the Geschwister would distance themselves. I was told of some cases where they had expelled some Geschwister for trying to exploit the system. In one particular case, a wealthy Geschwister had tried to expand his business by attempting to bribe Metis. The Tribe expelled him. After going back to the Sick Society he deeply regretted his actions and realised what he was missing in his life. It got so bad that he felt he could not enjoy life again and believed he had no way forward. So he donated all his wealth to a charity which belonged to one of the Geschwister and then took his life. The Geschwister were devastated and the sad event was a large part of why The Tribe gave expelled Geschwister a second chance to join the Tribe by having them go through the 5 Dimensions again. I thought about the Sick Society we lived in. How twisted it was to buy a painting for $120,000,000 but not be willing to give $10 to a dying beggar in 131

THE TRIBE

the street. How we could spend our lives envying people who had billions rather than focusing on the huge amount of people who didn’t have enough to eat. It made me sad. What a monstrous society I’d been living in. How could it have gone so far? Endless Growth was the “magic” phrase of the sick economical system of my sick society. I thought about how we humans do not grow endlessly. Trees do not grow endlessly. Animals do not grow endlessly. Planet earth does not grow at all. How stupid it all seemed. Growth just for the sake of growing, with no direction other than to have more. The Tribe understood that always wanting things to be bigger and bigger was terrible for our wellbeing. For our environment. It wasn’t natural. We needed a tribe to feel safe, to belong to, to be able to grow healthily. I remembered Jerome´s words about the meaning of the word Tribe in German. Stamm. The tree trunk. That’s what the Tribe was. A tree with big branches, green leaves and sweet fruits. People sat in its shade during the hot summer months. The birds built their nests in the branches and sang songs to nature. I was in love with The Tribe. My Tribe. The fifteen weeks of the Internship flew by. I’d never been surrounded by so many lovely, passionate people in my life. Nor had I ever felt so valued. The Tribe carefully observed each person’s talents and skills. In the Education Field I was told that every human being is born with talents. But the Sick Society school system ignores those talents. Because it is only an academic system, all practical talents are considered worthless. A good baker, car mechanic, farmer, or barber has no place in such a system. They are told they are of lower intelligence. Imagine This: You have a classroom full of different animals. A bird, an elephant, a crocodile, a monkey, a fish, a snake, a sheep etc. Now the teacher stands before the classroom and says to the animals: ‘Today dear students you are going to learn how to climb a tree. This is how it is done.’ And the teacher climbs the tree. It takes him a while because he is a human being, but he manages. ‘Now it’s your turn,’ says the teacher. Some seconds later the monkey is already on top of the tree and the teacher is impressed by how fast he climbed it. The bird comes and says, “I cannot climb like you but I can fly to the top.’ And the bird spreads his wings and flies to the top. 132

HOWARD ROARK

‘Sorry,’ says the teacher. ‘It doesn’t count. You have to climb it like I did. You are failed!’ Then the elephant comes and says. ‘I cannot climb the tree but I am strong enough that I can push it down and touch the top when it has fallen.’ ‘It does not count,’ says the teacher, ‘unless you climb like me. You are failed.’ The teacher fails the rest of the class - the fish, the crocodile, the snake, the sheep. The snake is angry and asks the teacher, ‘well, can you fly like the bird, can you swim like the fish, can you push down a tree like the elephant?’ ‘No,’ says the teacher. ‘I am not supposed to. I am only here to teach.’ I realised how absurd it was that kids are not allowed to use the Internet in school to answer questions when teachers use it all the time to prepare their lessons. But this was exactly how the school system worked in the Sick Society. By forcing kids with different talents to compete in tasks they have no desire or aptitude for. This was exactly why I loved the way The Tribe approached knowledge and learning. First you learned real knowledge, the kind you needed for life. Schools in The Tribe didn’t have subjects like Math, Physics, Chemistry and Geography. No. Instead the children learned about the 15 Knowledge Fields. Then, based on their talents and interests, they could freely choose which field to go more deeply into. I watched the kids and was struck by how happy they were, how eager to learn. I finished my internship feeling energised and inspired. A week after I had finished my Internship I received my final rating from The Gatekeepers of the Knowledge Fields. You could receive a maximum of five stars and four were needed before you could pass to the 4th Dimension. The rating was related to your engagement during each week. If you received a three or less on a Field then you were required to attend that Field for another week. This ensured that all of The Tribe Geschwister were fully engaged with the subject at each stage of their internship. If you had to repeat a week then the Gatekeepers worked with you to help identify how you could get more out of your time in that Field. I looked at my rating form and was excited to see I had been given enough stars to progress. I was now ready to enter the 4th Dimension.

133

THE TRIBE

But before moving on, I met with Paula again so I could show her my design for the 5th house. I’d been working on it in the evenings when I returned from my internship. She smiled as she looked through what I’d produced. ‘I think these drawings are spectacular,’ she said and I glowed with pride. Paula took the drawings with her and told me she would discuss them with Jerome. He would discuss it with the Metis and the Building Field Geschwister. I spent an anxious few days wondering whether my design would be approved of or not. Then I received a message from Jerome saying he wanted to meet.

134

HOWARD ROARK

A LEADER Jerome asked me to come for dinner at his house. He lived in a small house on the outskirts of Berlin with his wife and three kids. The dinner was delicious and the room was filled with the happy chatter of his kids and the adults as we shared ideas and told each other about what we had been doing lately. After dinner Jerome invited me into his small studio. ‘I wanted to talk a bit to you about your project,’ he said while pouring us both some whiskey. ‘I read your proposal and found it very interesting. So did the Building Field team. We’ve been thinking about a new 5th House for quite some time now. But the proposals we received just didn’t convince us so we put the idea to one side. Then you came along and stoked that fire again. I met with the Metis and had a long discussion about it.’ Jerome rubbed his face thoughtfully. ‘We have no doubt about your abilities as an architect. But this project requires a team to support you and since you have not been with us for long we aren’t sure about your leadership capabilities.’ I nodded in acceptance, trying not to let myself feel too disappointed. Jerome continued. ‘The team will be made of Geschwister who have been with us a lot longer than you, so we want to make sure they’re in good hands. They loved your idea and want to support you in making it happen. Of course they are not forced to join your project, they will do it voluntarily, but we care for one and another that is why I thought I should have this discussion with you. This is the second year that I have been elected Captain of The Tribe and I feel very honoured about it. It gives me a lot of satisfaction. But like with everything in life, there is also a price to it.’ Jerome regarded me over his glass. His words weren’t harsh but I could see he wanted me to listen carefully to what he had to say. I nodded my head to show him he had my full attention. 135

THE TRIBE

‘As a leader you are the one who needs to take the next step. In your case, you have this vision of the 5th House. No one knows what the end product will look like. You have done a lot of research and sketches and we like them, but in the end it will be the whole Tribe that will give you and your team the final opinion on your work. This means you will be the one who will have to always believe in your own idea, even when others are suddenly having doubts. It’s easy to have an idea and inspire others with it, but once you start making it happen, then it’s very common for people to start getting doubts about it, because they are suddenly faced with reality. Long working hours, problems which sometimes seem unsolvable. Conflicts with the other team members and so on. Unfortunately in such a situation our first natural human reaction is to start doubting the whole idea. It’s easy for a team member to fall into such a trap. This is when the leader has to step in and encourage the team members.’ ‘But who encourages the leader when he has doubts? Unfortunately no one. Being a leader is sometimes a solitary journey. It’s important you understand this. You have to find strength in yourself and in your idea. You have to make tough decisions. People don’t like to make decisions for a simple reason. If that decision is wrong, they will have to blame themselves and no one likes that. It’s easier to let someone else decide for you and if it goes wrong you can blame it on that person. This is why many people of the “Sick Society” are not politically active anymore but prefer to blame the politicians for everything.’ I could see what Jerome was saying. I knew it might not be easy to lead. He took another sip of his whiskey and said, ‘You know, we often confuse communities with Tribes. A community has no leaders, no vision and no rules. No one likes rules but they hold a tribe together. A community is like a pond of water after it’s rained. It fills up fast but then it stagnates and slowly evaporates. In contrast, Tribes are constantly in motion. Looking to improve things, to challenge the status quo, to accomplish, to prove to the world out there that they can do it together. You join a community only out of common interest. Because you want to get something out of it. But a tribe, you join out of passion. So 136

HOWARD ROARK

if you step up and become a leader, keep in mind, that if you make a wrong decision, and trust me you will, everyone will blame you for it.’ ‘Even in The Tribe?’ I said. ‘Yes, even in The Tribe. We are not perfect human beings here. Of course we have conflicts. Every day we face greed, envy, anger, laziness, selfishness and other human characteristics, although we choose our new Geschwister very carefully as you know. These traits don’t suddenly disappear overnight. But it’s how we solve those problems in The Tribe that makes the difference. So, if you are not willing to make tough decisions and take the blame for them, you will fail as a leader. Sometimes you will even be blamed for things that are not your fault.’ ‘What do you mean by that?” I said, beginning to feel anxious now. ‘If one of your team members does something wrong, people outside of your team will blame you and not him or her because it is your team and your idea. And it’s important that when this happens you don’t sell out your team member. You don’t point at him and say, “it was him, it was him.” Instead you become the protecting wall and take all the bullets. Of course you have to discipline team members who repeatedly make mistakes, but you do that inside of the team. You never expose them. Sometimes if a certain member does not want to learn from their mistake, you have to expel them from the team. Believe me, this is one of the hardest decisions a leader has to make. If you keep a member in a team who constantly makes mistakes and isn’t willing to reflect and learn from them, then slowly others will see that there’s no accountability for their work and they also will become irresponsible. On the other hand, if you expel a team member too fast - say after their first or second mistake, then the rest of the team will be scared to make any mistakes. They won’t have the courage to take risks and will settle for the status quo because it feels safer. So, as a leader your main priority is not to be loved but to do the right thing. To hold the team together and keep the spirit of your vision going. These days we often confuse Managers with Leaders. A Manager just manages a process. He does not lead, he does not inspire, and he does not take risks. He also barely listens to his team because his instructions come 137

THE TRIBE

from the top. As a good leader you should always listen to your team. Inform yourself well before making a decision and when you do make a decision make sure you explain to the team why you decided on A and not B. Pay attention to the needs of your team. Humans get tired and some might not be as strong as you are. So don’t overburden your team members with tasks they cannot carry. Never ask them to do things that you would not do yourself.’ Jerome smiled at me and I couldn’t help but be both fascinated by his words and increasingly apprehensive. No one had ever spoken to me about leadership like this before. Jerome went on. ‘When your idea becomes a success many people will look up to you. They will give you compliments and praise wherever you go. You will be invited places to speak about your success. And this is the time when most leaders meet their downfall. They suddenly think they alone deserve the success. They alone worked hard and believed in the idea so they must be something special. Then they start to think they are untouchable, undefeatable and slowly begin turning into despots. They think their team has an obligation to work harder than ever for them, but they become more selfish with their success. They start disrespecting people. Treating them badly. When their success begins to fade away they start becoming corrupt. Suddenly they try to manipulate their luck and their good team. They fire the good people they had because they don’t want to listen to honest advice. The other good people in their team resign on their own because they can’t take the negativity and seeing what’s become of the leader they once respected. Those kinds of leaders mostly end their success in disgrace. So watch out. As a leader all eyes will be on you. All the time. Do you really want this? You will be judged. You will be provoked. You will be ridiculed. Gandhi said: First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.’ Jerome sat back to see my reaction. I couldn’t help but feel a bit disheartened. ‘So what is the point of being a leader at all?’ I said. He smiled. ‘You might as well ask an Eagle what the point is of flying. Being a leader is in your DNA. You know you have it inside of you. It comes naturally to some of us. It’s a skill you were born with. But being a good leader? Now that’s something you have to learn. A good leader is humble. 138

HOWARD ROARK

He sees his position as a privilege given to him as a gift. Not as something he is entitled to. A good leader is also a good servant. If you become a good leader, you will receive a lot of love in return. It will enrich your life. It will open your horizon. It will energize you. When you see what can be achieved with good leadership, you will be inspired.’ Jerome smiled again. ‘Now what you need to decide is whether you want to learn or not.’

139

THE TRIBE

4TH DIMENSION Someone once said to me: you can’t buy experience because it only comes with time. Jerome’s words were still floating in my mind. Was I really ready to be a leader? I had to admit I felt nervous. But I also felt excited, and I was comforted by the fact that I was surrounded by honest people who would not hesitate to talk openly to me as soon as they noticed I was heading in the wrong direction. Jerome had said Metis needed some more time to decide. Time, time, time. I thought about how everything was related to that word. How long would I have to wait? How much time would it take for me to finish the project on time? Time felt like gravity, dictating everything in people’s lives. It didn’t escape my notice that my deep musings fitted perfectly with how I was experiencing The Tribe. I was entering the 4th dimension. I couldn’t begin to imagine how The Tribe would approach it. Had they invented a Time Machine? How could anyone possibly approach the concept of Time? The only good comparison to the absurdity of time I had was how things felt when I was with Taya. Although I was busy like crazy in VDR, first with my Internship and then as I began my own project, we still managed to meet in the 1st Dimension at least once a week. Yes, to my indescribable joy, two weeks after meeting with Jerome, I’d received the go ahead for the 5th House. We had met a couple of times in the 3rd Dimension but for some reason neither of us liked it, so we avoided it. I think our aversion was purely the fact that it felt simply wrong to meet in the 3rd Dimension when we lived in the same City and could meet anytime in the 1st Dimension. Hugging her in the 3rd Dimension would have been a paradox. Besides, meeting and holding Taya in my arms was always the highlight of my week. As exciting as life in The Tribe was, it still didn’t give me that special feeling I got when I was with her. When I was with her I felt complete. She filled a little gap in me that The Tribe could not fill. The Tribe gave me 90% and my connection with Taya gave me the other 10%. 140

HOWARD ROARK

And this is where time lost meaning. When I met Taya I would spend hours with her. Sometimes we would meet for breakfast and depart at midnight and on the way home I would feel like I had spent only a minute with her. The 20-minute train ride home would feel like a 20-hour journey to me because I would miss her so badly. So I was very well aware of the effect time has on our perception of reality. That was why I was a bit surprised that the move to the 4th Dimension was a lot less dramatic than I had expected. Later it made total sense to me why it was that way. I received a message in my Tribe digital mailbox that said: “Congratulations! You have been accepted into the 4th Dimension. Next time you enter VDR, you will see a red button on the right side. Push that button and the program will ask you to record a command to capture time. From that moment on when you say your personal Time Capture command in VDR, everything you see in there will be recorded into a movie file that only you have access to. Note: You should also record also a Stop Time Capture command. Please be careful! The Time Capture function is a very powerful tool but it can also affect your behaviour and your mental well-being in a negative way. We recommend you talk to other Geschwister about it before using it extensively. Enjoy the 4th Dimension! VD” ‘This is it?’ I thought. No Time Machine that teleports me to the Past or to the Future? The 4th Dimension is only a recording button? But then I thought a bit deeper. What exactly was time? Something invisible. Something you can’t see, smell, hear or touch, and yet it dictates all of our lives. You have to be at work at 7am. The flight is 2 hours and 45 minutes. You ran from A to B in 12 seconds. Cooked the egg in 5 minutes. You are too late. You are too early. You ran out of time. Time is gold. Don't waste my time. Give him time. Time was everywhere in our life. And yet nowhere to be seen. But if from this moment on I recorded everything I did and said in VDR then I was capturing that moment in time. It meant I was capturing my past moment by moment. ‘What was wrong with that?’ I thought. ‘Isn't that why people 141

THE TRIBE

invented cameras? To capture those moments? Isn't that why we invented Social Networks, to share those experiences with others?’ I was struggling to find something wrong with it, why the message warned it could be harmful. Then I gave up trying to figure it out and resolved to just try it and see what happened. So I entered VDR. The Program asked me to record The Time Capture command. It recommended that I didn’t use words like Record or Capture or phrases I used often in daily life because I could easily activate the function by accident. Although it would confirm I wanted to proceed before activating, that could become irritating. Additionally, it would be wise to have a Time Capture Command that was hard for anyone to guess, just in case someone hacked the system and tried to capture time on my behalf. So, my command had to act like a password, but one I could easily remember. I thought for a moment. Who was the person who was the best distorter of time for me? The answer was clear so I recorded the command for Time Capture: “Taya time on.” For stop Time Capture I said, “Taya time out.” I laughed after I’d recorded my commands and promised myself never to tell her. I didn't think she would have found it funny. It was time to capture Time. And what could be a better way of doing it than by capturing my time with Taya? I checked her profile. She was online. I thought about messaging her first but then it wouldn’t be a surprise so I decided to look for her. I knew her favorite place was the Technology Field. She loved to code. Taya was helping a team that worked on Augmented Reality developing holograms. I entered the room and I saw a bunch of laptops standing next to each other in the shape of a circle. I noticed hands were typing fast on each of them. In the middle was the hologram of a dinosaur. It kept rotating slowly in different directions. I pointed my index finger at different pairs of hands and to my relief one of them was Taya’s. ‘Are you guys building the next Jurassic Park?’ I joked. ‘Hey you, what are you doing here?’ Her sweet voice always made me want to kiss her whenever she spoke. I made my whole avatar visible. She hesitated for a few seconds and then made herself visible too. 142

HOWARD ROARK

‘I’m testing my Time Capture. I wanted you to be the first person I capture.’ She gave me her beautiful smile. ‘That is very sweet of you. I’m in the middle of something here. Are you free this evening?’ I wasn't. I had plenty of work to do on the 5th House but the thought of seeing her was too tempting. “Yes, I am. Let's do something.” It was a testament to how differently I saw the world these days. There was a time when I would never have allowed spending time with any person to interfere with my career and my ego. But Taya had managed to break through that wall. ‘Great, I’ll call you as soon as I’m finished here.’ Her avatar body disappeared and I saw how her hands continued to type on the laptop. That was it, I thought. One second later and it is already the past. The question is, were these moments worth storing? What value would they have for me in the future? Now that I could capture the past I was even more motivated to make the future as brilliant as possible. I started imagining how one day I would show my grandkids what a great life I had in VDR. Moment by moment. My design for the 5th House was almost fully developed and my team and I were slowly focusing on building it in VDR. I thought before we gave it its final touches I would show Paula a small scale-model. She was the one who had inspired me to start this project, after all. I arranged to meet her in the Circular City. I planned to walk with her from the edge to the center where the 5th House was going to be. Then she could imagine the effect it would have on the Geschwister when they approached it. She came in a driverless car. As she got out of the car I saw she was wearing a short white dress. Her brown hair looked almost red next to it and her brown and orange freckles were dancing across her face. She walked elegantly towards me and I noticed that her avatar was also was tall and slim, just like in the 1st Dimension. We greeted each other and started walking towards the center through the big green alley of the Circular City. ‘You look exactly like you do in real life Paula’ I said, in awe of her beauty as always. Paula smiled. ‘This is also real life, just another Dimension.’ True. I had to get used to the fact that there was no such a thing as Real Life and Not Real Life. It was all real life. When you are in a virtual world it’s not 143

THE TRIBE

as though you’d suddenly died and been reborn somewhere else. You are still in the same reality. You have the same body, the same mind, just in another dimension. What we thought of as real was also nothing more than your brain translating different signals from the body in different interpretations. Pain, smell, noise, taste, touch, hunger. If you removed the neurons from your brain that interpreted these signal’s translations, then it would be like it was in the virtual world. You could not tell the difference. Seeing my life in different Dimensions made it easier for me to understand and accept it. It would have been impossible for me to design the 5th House without going through those dimensions. ‘How are you Paula?’ I asked, since I hadn’t seen her for a while. In The Tribe, the phrase “How are you?” really meant, “How are you doing in your heart?” ‘I’m fantastic. I’ve undergone such a huge transformation since I joined the tribe. I had a lot of inner healing I had to deal with.’ I nodded. ‘What are you working on at the moment?’ ‘On a new form of Humanitarian Organisation. Built on the fundamentals of the 5 Dimensions of the Tribe.’ We talked for a while about our experiences working in the humanitarian sector. Then talk turned to the different Dimensions. I asked her what she thought about the 4th Dimension and the Capturing of Time. She was silent for a while, then she said, ‘As you know, before I found the Tribe, or rather, before The Tribe found me, I had inherited several hundred million from my family. When I was 18 I was asked to sign many documents in return for that inheritance. And of course at that age I didn’t really understand what that meant, and my parents never bothered to explain it to me.” She frowned and I saw sadness in her eyes. ‘My childhood was horrible. We lived in a castle with 36 rooms. My father was never there. My mother was mostly drinking or high on drugs. She knew her husband was with other women but she was so attached to the family wealth that she didn’t want to leave him. All day long if she was not drinking she was shopping. She hated me. When she was drunk she would tell me that. Imagine a 6-year old child who is constantly told, “You look like him. You remind me of him. You are not my child. I never wanted you. Get out of my sight”.’ 144

HOWARD ROARK

I put my hand on her arm. It hurt to hear what she had been through as a child. How any parent could say such things to an innocent child was beyond me. ‘I tried to reach out to my father when I grew older but he had no time and did not care. Plus he was with another woman every time I met him, and that made it even more difficult for me to feel close to him. The worst was the high society events I was forced to attend with my mother and father. I’d watch them putting on a show and pretending to be the happiest, best couple in the world. It was too much for me. All of it. The older I grew the more I hated them. By the time you met me I had gone through all the mental illnesses you can imagine. Suicide attempts. Schizophrenia. Anorexia. Alcohol addiction. Heroin addiction. Depression. Consumption addiction. I had tried all kinds of sexual perversions that only made me hate myself more. And what made it even worse was that I had experienced all of this in a level of society that most humans wish they belonged to. The high society is portrayed in the media like the summit of happiness. But I knew it was anything but happy. It was a dark, dark place. I thought all of this mental suffering was because of the huge amount of money my family had. I would travel to other places and see that people had a lot less, not even comparable with what we had, and they were a lot happier than my family. So I reasoned that if I legally stripped myself of the huge inheritance, I would be happy. I had, of course, forgotten all about the documents I had signed when I was 18. What I didn’t realise was that they had turned me into a bird without wings in a golden cage. At the age of 26 I started a whole legal process against my parents and against my heritage. This nasty legal battle only added to my misery. My parents were mad at me. It was such an insult to them and to the name of the family. I wanted them to be mad at me, I even started writing a blog about it, exposing them so the whole world would know. And it felt good, but only for a while…’ We had reached the second ring of the Circular City by now. I was thinking of telling her to look up to where the 5th House would be but I knew it wasn’t the right time. Instead, I listened quietly as Paula continued. 145

THE TRIBE

‘Then I met The Tribe. My tribe. I went to The Shack like you did. That night I stayed up after the other candidates had gone to sleep. There was only me and Jerome sat by the fire. I told him about my situation and all I had been through. Proudly, I told him about my legal battle for the heritage and my blog. How I was exposing my family to the world and was in my opinion impressing everybody by giving back to my family my heritage which my grandparents had left me. I was expecting him to say “well done Paula. You are so brave and so amazing”. Paula laughed. ‘But that was not what he told me. He said, “You know Paula, what I see is a little girl screaming for attention. The attention of her parents and the attention of everybody else. All your self-destruction was you trying to gain the attention and love you never received from your parents. No child should ever go through that, no matter how rich or poor a family is. Every kid deserves love and attention. But here you are now, 26 years of age, still screaming even though you have several hundred million in your pocket. Imagine if another girl was here, same age as you, who had the same childhood experience as you, except that her parents were poor, she didn't see them much because they had to work day and night to provide food on the table and pay the rent. And this girl works hard from morning till evening as a waitress so she can pay her rent and have food and even help her parents because they are too old to work. Who deserves my compassion? You or her? Have you ever worked in your life Paula? I don't think so? You told me you live in a 600sqm apartment in the middle of Berlin. 99% of people on this planet could not dream of living in such a place. Does it impress me that you are giving your heritage back to your parents who already have a lot more than they should? People who will probably spend it on more bullshit like they are already spending it on? No, it doesn’t impress me at all. Money is just a tool, Paula, nothing else. You were given a powerful tool and the chance to make good use out of it. Build something good for society and you will find in that journey people who love and appreciate you. Then you would earn my respect and everyone's respect. Even, perhaps, your parent´s respect.’

146

HOWARD ROARK

His words hit me like a slap in the face. When you are rich most people tell you what you want to hear. If someone tells you something you do not like, you just hire the next one. I stood up and went into the forest, crying my eyes out. I remember I cried all night till the sun came up. Then I walked back and took a taxi to Berlin without even saying goodbye to anyone. That was me, whenever I faced a bit of resistance I took off. Because I could afford it. And every time I did that it left me even emptier inside. It made me lonely. Back in Berlin I knew that this was my last chance. So I begged the friend who recommended me to talk to Jerome, and she did. This has been the first time in my life that I have committed to anything, and now you see the result. I have never been so happy. Even my parents have reached out to me and want to know what is going on. How can I be so happy and they are not? Because now I know exactly what to do with my money. Because it’s just how Jerome said it was - a means to an end. I know now I was given a lot because I can take a lot of responsibility. It was a big gift, and I have to share with others.’ By now we had reached the center of the Circular City. I just did not have the heart to interrupt her. To see Paula change so much gave me even more courage for my own transformation. I felt so lucky to have met her. We took the elevator in the glazed round shaped tower to the top. ‘So what does all of this have to do with Capturing Time?’ I asked. Paula regarded me with her beautiful, warm expression. ‘Let me ask you. If you captured the time you had on holiday with a girl you love, what good is that to you now?’ I thought for a moment. ‘Well, I can watch it again, and I guess I can feel good again for having had such a great time.’ ‘So you wasted, let's say, 5 hours of your time now by watching something which you cannot touch, smell, feel, taste. In those 5 hours you could have had great sex with your girlfriend who is now older and knows better how to make love. You could have cooked something marvelous with her that smelled and tasted better than ever before. You could have got to know her better, because of course we humans constantly change.’ Paula smiled at me. ‘The past is mostly a trap because we compare it with the present. There is no value in trying to re-live the past because you will never 147

THE TRIBE

be able to re-live it in the fullest of senses. If I had not learnt to live in the present, thanks to The Tribe, I would not be here with you now. I’d probably be dead or in a mental hospital. I’ve learned to live in the present with my eyes focused on the future.’ ‘So what’s the value of capturing the time then?’ I asked. ‘It’s a brilliant tool for experiments for example. As an architect you can record yourself when you enter a space and see how it feels and then record yourself when you have modified that space and see how that feels. There are a million other things I could think of. Capture the present only if you think you could build on it in the future. But not because you want to go back and re-live it. Because you can't. All you will be doing is watching an echo. No one can stop time from moving forward and no one till now can stop matter from decaying - which is the best visual indicator of time.’ After Paula departed I stood on alone on the tower, thinking about what she said. I remembered how my mother would constantly look at photos of her and my father when they were young and cry. It didn’t help her. I also remembered how often people fall into the trap of thinking that the past was better. Two years after I divorced my wife and things were not going so well for me, I suddenly started thinking how great my life with her had been. I looked at photos of when we were happy and started believing I was still in love with her. So I convinced both myself and then her to give it another try. Eight weeks later we were exactly at the same point we’d been two years previously. So I left. I remembered asking myself how on earth I could have deceived myself so badly in believing it all had been great. I had purposely erased all the things that I hated about her. My own mind had tricked me. Have you ever done that? Convinced yourself that the past was so much better when the present isn’t going so well? Ever spent so much time looking back you lost touch with who you were now, and made everything worse? Paula was right, Time Capture was a powerful tool, but it was just that - a tool. It would never replace the reality of the present.

148

HOWARD ROARK

THE EVIDENCE The wall around my heart that I’d so painstakingly built had crumbled to dust at the Architect’s feet. My emotions had defeated my mind; my careful selfdiscipline was shot to pieces. It had been months now and we had met every week. Each time I saw him it was like being around the only other person I’d ever known who spoke the same language as me and when I wasn’t with him I thought about him all the time. Our relationship was different to any other I’d ever had. For a start we still hadn’t had sex and he’d never tried to make a move. I knew it wasn’t the same as that Frank guy, who had simply been too nervous and clueless. The Architect’s and my relationship was just different. We spent time talking, experiencing one another, connecting. Sometimes I would hold his hand or lean in to kiss him. But that was as far as it went, and even though we’d never seen each other naked, I felt he had seen me more intimately than any other man. It was weird to begin with. My general experience with the men I dated was that they would maybe wait on the first date, but begin trying to fuck me on the second. If by the third date I didn’t reciprocate and end up in bed with them there was never a fourth. I was history to them. It was part of the “norms” of the Sick Society. You meet, you fuck, you move on to the next person. With the Architect I just didn’t feel that pressure at all. It was one more reason why I loved to hang out with him. The only pressure I felt was the anxiety that one day he might find out about my double life. If I thought about it too much I would begin to panic, knowing that he’d never forgive me for it, but as time went on that anxiety began to fade. I barely went into the Meganetworld building anymore, and I spent almost all my time on Tribe projects. So it was an unwelcome intrusion into my new schedule when The Manager demanded I meet him in the park. As he approached I noticed he looked even unhappier than the last time we’d met. He was walking slower than he usually did and he appeared to have forgotten the cigarette in his hand which was now just a long, teetering, stick 149

THE TRIBE

of ash. I wasn’t surprised. I’d had a quick info-finding session and seen that the pace of resignations at Meganetworld had stepped up. He was probably coming under serious pressure from Top Management. As usual, he didn’t bother to greet me. ‘Agent Goby, it’s time to bust this Tribe or whatever it is these anarchist idiots are doing.’ I bristled. The Geschwister were not anarchists or idiots, they were hard working, intelligent people, building a better future. The Manager continued. ‘Based on your information, our lawyers have come to the conclusion that it will be too difficult to legally shut them down. Technically they are not doing anything illegal. However, they are still considered a serious threat to Meganetworld.’ His breath was as disgusting as ever and up close his body smelled like rotting onions. The old man searched inside his jacket pocket for a moment before producing a memory stick. ‘Here, take this. There are hundreds of child porn films on it. We have used this tactic to intimidate politicians that refused to cooperate with us. With great effect I might add. You told me you know how to get access to their servers. Get this in there and we will deal with the rest.” The Manager straightened his back. “It’s time to put these sons of bitches behind bars. Who the fuck do they think they are to try and be independent from the rest of us?’ I took the memory stick on autopilot and he turned and began walking down the path. Without bothering to turn he said in a voice that sent a chill down my spine. ‘Don't disappoint me, Goby.’ I stood stock still, staring after him before turning on wobbly legs and making my way back the way I had come. I only got a few paces before I doubled over next to a tree, heaving onto the ground next to it. The memory stick felt like a lead weight that was stuck to my sweaty palms. Eventually the heaving subsided and I straightened up, trying to wipe what was left of my dinner from around my face. Far away, the park clock began to chime. I counted 11 chimes. 11pm. The park was deserted now, and the dark empty space was a perfect match for how I felt inside. I looked once more at the memory stick in my hand and then sank to the cold, hard asphalt, my body shaking with sobs.

150

HOWARD ROARK

5TH DIMENSION I had been working like mad on the 5th House for the last six weeks. Three other architects, five coders and two neuroscientists made up the core team. We were obsessed, sometimes working 16 hours a day. I’d barely even been able to see much of Taya, and I was filled with gratitude at how understanding she had been about it all. We’d managed to meet maybe once or twice a week in person. Each time we met we would stand with our arms around each other in a silent hug for at least a minute, as though it had been years since we had last seen each other. Sometimes Taya would visit me and my team in VDR and silently watch how we worked on the design of the 5th House. Our deadline was fast approaching. We were to present the complete design during the Geschwister Ceremony, an annual gathering where The Tribe officially welcomed the new Geschwister into their midst. For the Ceremony, I was told, all the Geschwister would come together in the 1st Dimension and organise a dinner in small groups of 5 to 20 people or sometimes even more in different locations. They would eat and drink together, then they would put on the VD Glasses and take part in the Ceremony in VDR. Afterwards they would take off the VD Glasses and return to the dinner until late into the night. Some of the groups, often those with younger Geschwister, would party all night. The Geschwister Ceremony was the biggest event of The Tribe and everyone looked forward to it all year. Although the Ceremony was a big deal, it wasn’t the only time we would get together socially. The Tribe encouraged the Geschwister to meet at least once a week with the other Geschwister of your Knowledge Field in the 1st Dimension. Those meetings were called Home Tribes and took place mostly in another Geschwister house. We changed the location every time we met. He or she would cook something for the Home Tribe. We all loved these evenings. Sometimes we would play games with each other or go on outings to the theatre, cinema or stadium. 151

THE TRIBE

Every Sunday all the Geschwister of The Tribe met in VDR in the existing old 5th House. A band would play music and we would sing together. Then one of the Geschwister would share something from their life or their project. It was amazing to sing and be together with all the Tribe. I was so proud. I knew when I needed them they would be there for me. Mostly the stories the Geschwister shared in front of everybody were how the Tribe had helped them in difficult situations they had encountered in the Sick Society. We’d all experienced intense unhappiness in different ways as members of it. Often the talk would turn to how empowering it felt to have a Tribe behind you. To be around people who truly have your back. Who will genuinely support you. Who you can experience the good times and the bad with, without having to worry about fighting each other to get to the ‘top.’ How would that feel? The Geschwister Ceremony loomed closer and I was startled to realise it was only three days away. I had planned to go together with my team but for some reason they had made plans with other Geschwister. They all invited me to go to their Home Tribe party but Taya asked me to spend the special evening with her so I declined. I’d met with her a week before the Ceremony and the moment I saw her approaching I knew something wasn’t right. When she saw me she broke into a run and jumped into my arms, squeezing me tight. When she finally let go I saw her beautiful face was covered in tears. ‘What´s wrong?’ I asked. She looked at me with large, sad eyes and a face which had turned into a breath-taking watercolor painting from where her eye makeup had streaked down her cheeks. ‘Nothing. Nothing,’ she said as she wiped her tears. ‘I just missed you so much, that’s all.’ My head was so full of the 5th House project that I didn’t focus on how out of character this was. We went for a long walk in the park and every now and then she would stop and hug me. It was only after the fourth or fifth time that tiny alarm bells began to ring in my mind. She had never done that before. Then she asked if we could celebrate the Geschwister Ceremony together at my place and that she would love to cook for me. Taya had never been to my place and I had never been to hers. I, of course, agreed. 152

HOWARD ROARK

After we had spent almost three hours together I told her that I really had to go and finish the 5th House. We hugged and she started crying again. I was beginning to feel more and more uneasy. I asked her what was wrong again but she said it was nothing, wiped her tears and then left. The sight of her tense shoulders as she left with her head bowed, pierced my heart like a needle. I was worried about her, but I didn’t want to push her. I felt like I had no choice but to get back to the team and once I did, I immersed myself in the project. The design process for the 5th house had been weighing heavily on me. When it came to consciousness and spirituality we split into two broad categories of thinking. One group believed that as human beings we are the God of our own reality. We create our own world in our mind. We determine our own destiny and everything that happens is down to chaos and chance. There was a time when I belonged to this group. But the older I got the more my opinion started to change. I had to admit that the other group also had a very convincing point. They believed that since most things on earth could be somehow explained with mathematics and laws of physics, chemistry and other sciences, then there must be a mastermind behind it all. A creator. A God. Even our own DNA had a code. Everything was somehow related to each other. Not to mention that a rock is made of the same atoms as the human body. The only difference is that the rock has no consciousness. I always associated the word God with religion, something I had grown to strongly dislike. I thought of the word Holy and looking at my life there was nothing holy about it. The biblical God intimidated me. But then I listened to the arguments from one of my architect colleagues and something removed the veil from my eyes. He reasoned: ‘In the beginning of the Bible it says: “God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female, he created them.’ The more I thought about it the more it felt like God was just another version, a more developed version, of a human being. It also meant that like human beings he wasn’t perfect. It certainly tied in with the biblical God that I was familiar with. That God was angry, petty, and jealous. He enacted revenge and punished and destroyed his own creations. But he was also 153

THE TRIBE

loving, a God who sacrificed his own son to save the people he had created. I asked my colleague, ‘Why would your God allow all this pain in the world?’ He answered, ‘Why do people still want to have kids even though everyone tells them how difficult it is to raise a child? Even though you can never know how they will turn out. They might become the most loving people in the world or the worst. And yet parents are still willing to take that risk, no matter what. How many stories are out there of parents who went through unimaginable pain to see their kids grow? They loved them, sacrificed for them and forgave them over and over again.’ I must admit I had never looked at it that way. If there was a God that had created us, it seemed to me that his character was very similar to ours. I liked the idea of The Imperfect Creator. At the end of the day this is what I was also as an architect. A creator. And I loved my creations. You will probably laugh at this, but I am fully convinced, God is a coder. How else would you explain the Bible verse: The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us? I laughed when I remembered what Elon Musk said about how we live in a Computer Generated reality. But the more I thought about it and the more I researched Quantum Mechanics, the more I started understanding that there is a lot of truth in this theory. Code is everywhere. And God is The Coder.

154

HOWARD ROARK

MY JOB The next few days passed in a haze of anxiety. My immediate thought had been to see the Architect. The moment we’d met I’d burst into tears and he kept asking what was wrong. Part of me hated that I couldn’t tell him, but another part of me resented his innocence and the way he tried to comfort me. In the end I’d simply asked him if he wanted to spend the night of the Ceremony together. That had been part of my plans and all I could do right then was to stick to them. I had to stick to all of the plan, I knew that. But it was tearing at me in a way no other mission ever had. I had to remember my training. I thought back to the 12 ruthless weeks I’d spent in a secret Meganetworld location in the Balkans, not long after The Manager had made me my job offer. Besides the tough survival training, we were taught how to kill if we had to defend ourselves. I’d enjoyed the training, even though I knew part of it was simply to turn us all into obedient weapons, who just acted as instructed and never questioned the mission. It had suited me at the time and I’d liked the detached, powerful feeling I’d carried with me ever since. The training had seemed like the solution to all my problems. Now I was wondering just how effective it had really been. Planting the child porn videos would be simple from a technical point of view. As a coder I had access to the Tribe servers and discovery of child porn on them would be enough to bring the whole of Europol down on them. No one on the planet was safe these days from fake evidence. Not even the N.S.A. Any system that involved human input or interaction was vulnerable, especially since hacking tools and operational secrets had begun to be made publicly available by different groups. So long as I was careful, I could easily complete the mission. But The Tribe wasn’t doing anything wrong. They weren’t like all the other missions, the ones that involved organisations that were as evil and greedy as Meganetworld. Those organisations were simply part of the battle for the 155

THE TRIBE

ultimate supremacy in exploiting the people. One evil empire trying to replace another evil empire. I never gave what I did on those missions a second thought. In the past, when I’d faked my way into these large companies, I’d found it easy to keep my distance from whoever I was infiltrating. I didn’t want to get to know them and they had no interest in befriending me. To me they were all soulless slaves who had lost their way in life. There was no joy in their faces, just a grim determination to make it as close to the top of the company as possible. But in The Tribe it was impossible not to build friendships. They’d invited me to so many events that I knew my usual methods wouldn’t work. Turning down every single invitation would have just aroused suspicion. Plus the Architect would have wondered why I was happy to hang out with him but not the other Geschwister. I’d begun accepting invitations, telling myself I could easily handle it. It had happened so gradually that I didn’t notice at first, but they had begun to feel like family. With The Tribe I began to understand just how empowering a healthy family environment could be. How was I supposed to know it would feel that way? My birth family was so dysfunctional, and even my anarchist family had been fucked up in its own way. We’d infiltrated and screwed with systems just for the sake of it. Just to destroy. After I’d got caught I decided that I was better off alone and that families were something that were best left behind you. The Tribe had slowly made me begin to see why in the past many people had been willing to sacrifice, even their lives, for their family and tribe. I shifted from foot to foot as I considered my options. The Manager had sent a terse message to tell me to get in touch as soon as I’d delivered the payload. I couldn’t keep him waiting much longer, I’d already stalled too long. The memory stick he had given me was still in the pocket of the jacket I’d worn that night and I’d come to loathe the feeling of that small oblong piece of plastic whenever my hand brushed against it. Such a small device, but with so much destructive potential. Once I’d uploaded the contents the wheels would be set in motion for Meganetworld to make their strike against the Tribe. It wouldn’t be completely straightforward to destroy them, since the Geschwister were spread all over the world. The first step would be to 156

HOWARD ROARK

confiscate their servers. The child porn accusation would make it very easy from a legal perspective. Once they had the servers they would have access to plenty of data in relation to the Geschwister. Meganetworld would celebrate it in the major media outlets they owned as a victory against an international pedophile ring. With this move they would earn the support of the public. Then they would go after each Geschwister, one by one if they had to. My hands were sweaty. All day I’d tried to concentrate and do some coding work but I couldn’t focus. I looked at the message from The Manager again. He was definitely suspicious, there was no doubt about it. Even though I’d mollified him somewhat with the lie about Frank at our last meeting, he was too experienced to completely buy that was all that was going on with me. Frank’s arrest told me, if I had any doubts before, that The Manager was perfectly capable of pulling this plan off without me if he wanted to. If I didn’t go through with it I’d be a burnt card forever, and this would be the last mission I ever did. It wasn’t a particularly painful thought. I was done lying to myself about how I felt about this life. Sure the money was great, but I was sick and tired of it all. But what would The Manager do to me if I failed him? He’d never come right out and said it, but he had implied plenty of times what happened to agents who pissed him off. Then there was Frank, looking at ten years in prison. If they were willing to do that to someone who had only been in their way, what would they do to someone who actively failed to complete a mission that was important to them? Someone with deeply sensitive information? I shuddered. Then I thought of the Architect. Could I ever forgive myself if he went to jail for something he hadn’t done? I paced back and forth, trying to sort through my emotions. Suddenly my phone beeped and I opened it to see a message from The Manager: Agent Goby. I am beginning to feel disappointed. My hands started to shake. An image of the Architect flickered across my mind. He was dedicated to his new Tribe, spending hours and hours on his project, putting all he had into it. But I hadn’t asked him to do that. I hadn’t sought him out and persuaded him to quit his job at Meganetworld and join the Tribe. He’d chosen his path and he was committing to it. Maybe that was 157

THE TRIBE

the lesson here. Like them or not, I still worked for Meganet and this was my job. It wasn’t personal. Maybe we’d just had shitty luck. Me with my past and him with being in the wrong time at the wrong place with the wrong people. I carefully put the memory stick back into my jacket pocket and straightened my shoulders. It was time to act, before it was too late.

158

HOWARD ROARK

BIG DAY It was 11pm and I decided to let my team go home. They’d worked hard for so many weeks now, putting in 14 to 16 hours a day, and they were exhausted. I couldn’t bring myself to go home when there were still just a final few touches to go, so I kept on working alone. Around midnight I remembered that I needed to run a program on one of the components of the 5th House. I made my way to the workshop where the coders did their work and entered through the Technology Gate. I smiled as I walked, realising it still gave me a thrill to be part of this work, even if I was bonetired. As I entered the workshop I saw a pair of hands across the room. I looked closer, and realised they were flicking quickly through some server devices. I hadn’t known anyone else was still here. Maybe one of my team had stayed behind and I’d not noticed. I was very tired. Curious, I pointed my index finger in the direction of the movement and clicked the middle button twice to reveal whose hands they were. Taya’s profile picture lit up the room. My confusion deepened. ‘Taya?’ I said, ‘what are you doing here?’ The hands froze. I’d clearly surprised her. Then the index finger moved towards me. I wondered why she hadn’t replied, before realising that perhaps she hadn’t recognised my voice. I waited until she had pressed the button and knew it was me. ‘Oh. You surprised me.’ she said after a few seconds. ‘I’ve never seen you in this room. Especially at this hour…’ I said, my voice trailing off uncertainly. ‘I, uh, I wanted to make you something for your project. A surprise.” She said. ‘Are you using Time Capture?’ I thought I detected a note of steel in her voice. ‘Yes,’ I said, ‘I always have Time Capture on when I work in VDR.’ Taya was silent for a moment. Then she said, ‘I have to go. I’m sorry that the surprise isn’t going to be a surprise anymore.’ 159

THE TRIBE

Without waiting for me to reply, she disappeared. I stared in confusion at the place where her hands had been for a few moments. She had seemed really startled to bump into me. But, I reasoned, I was still getting to know her. Perhaps she took surprise gifts very seriously. My head swam, I’d been so focused on the 5th House project I hadn’t eaten for hours. I rubbed my aching shoulders and noticed that the program I had been looking for was right in front of me. The coder on my team had made it easy to find. I grabbed the device and went back to my workshop, putting the encounter with Taya out of my mind. Just a little while longer and the 5th House would be finished. I had to focus. The day of the Geschwister Ceremony finally arrived. I spent the day making some final preparations with my team in the morning, and then spent the afternoon outside taking a long, leisurely walk. The weather in the 1st Dimension was beautiful; calm and clear with bright sunlight that lit up the foliage in the park. Taya arrived at my house two and half hours before the Ceremony, carrying two large bags of food. We hugged and I helped her unpack. I was glad to be able to put my arms around her. We hadn’t seen each other since the night in the workshop, although we’d exchanged a few messages. She’d seemed chatty and excited about the Ceremony in her messages, musing on how amazing it would be to experience it together. I watched her as she busied herself in the kitchen, noticing for the millionth time how her beautiful eyes made me feel as though I was floating. She caught me looking and grinned at me. I asked if she wanted help but she shook her head. ‘I want to treat you,’ she said. ‘You’ve been working so hard. Relax and get ready for the ceremony.’ I smiled back at her and turned my attention to the presentation I had prepared for The Tribe. Everyone was going to meet in the old 5th House. Then, while the bands were playing, my team would reveal the new 5th House. I loved this part of the evening’s plans. One of the positive things about building in the Virtual world was the ability to hide your building from everyone until it was finished. Then you could make it visible in the Circular City by asking the coders to switch off the Gravity around the area where the building would be placed. Doing that made the building simply slide into its location. Like magic, I thought, grinning to 160

HOWARD ROARK

myself, although I knew it had really been blood sweat and tears that had created our building. After an hour or so, incredible aromas started to fill my flat, making my mouth water. Finally, Taya came to get me and led me to where she had covered the table in food. I was a fan of Greek food and she had created a feast of vegetarian moussaka with several different salad dishes to accompany it. I thanked her and she put her arms around me, softly kissing the side of my head. Then I poured some wine and we sat down to eat. The food was delicious and we chatted happily as we shared the meal. It struck me how powerful it was to do something as simple as share a meal with someone you loved. Soon it was time for the Ceremony to begin, so we moved from the table to the couch and put our VD glasses on. The old 5th House was buzzing with people. All the year’s new Geschwister had been asked to wear white suits for the Ceremony so they could be easily identified. I looked at Taya and felt the breath leave my body. She was dressed in a classically cut white suit that she had teamed with long earrings and smoky eye makeup that gave her eyes an almost ethereal quality. She looked stunning. Seeing her like that was different, usually she dressed in simple, comfortable clothes. She noticed me looking at her and did a little twirl, then complimented me on my suit. I’d chosen a smart, simply cut suit and I had to admit I felt good in it. Something about the clean lines helped me to feel relaxed and focused. There were a huge amount of people mingling about and I lost count of the amount of people I had never met before who approached us and congratulated us on becoming full Tribe Geschwister. ‘Looking forward to meeting you in the first, VD brother, VD sister!’ they all said, and I told them I looked forward to meeting as many of them as possible in the 1st Dimension, too. When everyone greeted each other we held our hand out, with the index finger and thumb formed alongside a straight middle finger to make the Tribe sign. As we did we would say “VD brother...VD sister.” Nobody knew exactly who had come up with this first, but over time it had come to mean, “You are in my heart.” 161

THE TRIBE

Finally the first band came out and we sat down. I felt Taya´s hand grabbing mine and holding it tight. Although we both had VD gloves on, I could feel the heat her hand radiated. The first band played and we all sang along. Then the second band came on and we sang even louder. I sang with the rest but part of me was wondering how my team was doing putting up the new 5th House. I was nervous. What if something went wrong? I tried to relax. We’d all worked as hard as we could. Now I had to just trust that we’d done everything in our power to create a beautiful 5th House. I couldn’t have offered any more than I had. The second band finished and the Captain came onto the stage to a huge round of applause. I thought back to the first time I’d met him at The Shack. I rarely saw Jerome in VDR. He spent most of his time in the 1st Dimension, meeting Geschwister and listening to their issues or suggestions, asking about their projects and encouraging their work. Meeting him had had an incredible impact on me. I hoped one day I would learn to lead like he did. Jerome held his hand out and everyone went quiet. ‘Tribe’ he said with his deep voice, ’welcome to the Geschwister Ceremony.’ A huge cheer broke out. I felt goosebumps all over my body. ‘Let’s welcome the new Geschwister in our midst. Come to the stage guys, so we can see you.’ More applause and shouts of joy filled the hall and the band struck up marching music. We were being celebrated like stars. I looked across the room and saw at least 50 people walking in their white suits towards the stage. Taya tugged at my hand and we moved towards the stage. Then we were there with the others, blinking at the sight of thousands of faces all smiling and cheering. It was magical. Taya squeezed my hand lightly and then let it go. The cheering and the applause continued until the Captain waved at the crowd. Silence returned. ‘Tribe, I’m so happy to see so many new faces, as well as the familiar ones. Each one of you has worked hard and contributed to the strength of The Tribe, to the Love of the Tribe, to the Cause of The Tribe. Together we will build a new Society. A society where humanism is the foundation and technology is the wall that protects it. A society that holds that love for one another, not greed, is the highest virtue.’ Then he turned to the new Geschwister standing on the stage. 162

HOWARD ROARK

‘To our new Geschwister. May The Tribe be with you in good and bad times. Long live The Tribe! VD.’ A huge roar broke out. My VD glasses filled with tears. I took them off so I could wipe them and saw that back in the 1st Dimension Taya was doing the same. We hugged each other before putting the glasses back on. The Captain continued, ‘You know, thanks to politicians in the Sick Society, I think we all hate long speeches.’ Laughter rang out from the tribe members. ‘So, without delay let's move on to the Presentations.’ The new Geschwister went back to their seats, accompanied by loud applause. I settled back down with Taya as a film began playing on the large screens on the stage. A Team from the Entertainment Field had created the film which showed the new Geschwister during their Internship. The 4th Dimension Time Capture function had been skillfully used to create it. The team had cut highlights from the internship program, including funny moments. Laughter from the Tribe periodically broke out as we watched the new Geschwister, including myself, asking some stupid questions about the life in the Tribe. It was another example of the excellent quality of the work that came as a result of a Tribe where people did the work out of passion, not obligation. Then a short film followed that presented different projects the new Geschwister had initiated. Those were also accompanied by loud applause. After the presentation two other bands played some more music. Then our Captain came back on stage. ‘Tribe,’ he said, ‘a team from the Building Field has a surprise for us tonight. Let’s go outside together and they will show us.’ This was the moment. I could feel sweat beginning to run down the sides of my VD glasses and past my ears. I waited until everyone went outside before the square of the old 5th House. Then I signaled to my team that it was time to reveal the new 5th House. Suddenly a DNA double helix started wrapping itself around the round glass tower in the center of Circular City. It wound around the tower until it reached the top. This was part of the plan. We had convinced the coders not to make the building immediately visible but to make it slowly appear. A huge “Ooooooo” and then a cheer broke out from the Tribe. 163

THE TRIBE

Next, a large blue and purple-mirrored glass hemisphere started appearing on top of the glass and steel tower. The cheers grew louder. The double helix was a steel structure that supported the huge hemisphere on top. I had chosen the blue and purple mirror glass to symbolise the VD Glasses. Slowly The Tribe started moving towards the tower, chattering excitedly amongst themselves. They took the elevator to the top in big groups. The new 5th House had 360-degree seating around a large central stage. I was particularly pleased with this design concept. I’d tried to break out of the old systems that the previous 5th House as well as churches and other religious buildings had used, where people faced a stage at one end. In my design, the Tribe was all around you. To protect you. To listen to you. To love you from all sides. The access stairs cut diagonally across the hemisphere seating in four equal sections. The flat roof of the hemisphere was glazed so you could see the sky and natural light could flood the room. The new 5th House started filling up. I watched from beside the stage as everyone found a place to sit. Finally the last group of people arrived with Jerome. When everyone was seated he asked me to follow him to the stage. I looked around and couldn’t believe how happy and lucky I felt at this moment, seeing The Tribe settling into the new 5th House. ‘Tribe,’ said Jerome. ‘This young man and his team have worked hard for months to make this miracle happen. Let's give them a round of applause!’ The cheers and the noise of clapping hands filled the 5th House. ‘The acoustic is perfect’ I thought in my architect mind. He continued. ‘The Building Field team has another surprise for us.’ Everyone went silent. Jerome then turned to me, signaling I should come onto the stage. I realised that in both VDR and on the couch at home my knees were shaking. In a trembling voice I started speaking, ‘I would like to correct The Captain. It was a team from Building Field, Technology Field and Health Field.’ I wanted to continue, but the applause stopped me. I waited till it stopped then continued, ‘I would like to thank every member of my team from the bottom of my heart for making this happen. Without you it would have not been possible.’ There was more applause. My team members, who were sitting together, all smiled and waved at the rest of The Tribe. I clapped as well, feeling tears spring to my eyes. Every one of them had gone above and beyond to make the project happen. 164

HOWARD ROARK

Eventually the audience settled down again and I turned to the rest of the Tribe. ‘Above all, I would like to thank the Tribe for accepting me into their midst. Thank You! VD.’ I shouted out the last sentence. Applause and loud cheers filled the space again. I found my confidence rising and I knew it was time to reveal the rest of my design. ‘This space brings us together in the 5th Dimension. And it lifts our spirits when we are together. But then each of us goes home and we are on our own in our minds. The team and I wanted to address this. We brainstormed for weeks asking how we could take that experience of our own mind deeper. How could we go deeper than any of us have fathomed before when it comes to our consciousness? Well, this is what we came up with.’ I signaled to my team and the sky outside of the hemisphere and the space inside the 5th House went dark. I pointed to the middle of the stage and a hologram appeared on the surface showing a sphere with mirror glass in blue, green and white tones. It was supposed to look similar to planet Earth seen from space. I continued, ‘We named this object the Mind Star. When you enter the Mind Star you completely lose sense of dimensions. Inside of a sphere there is no up or down or sideways. It’s all exactly the same. It’s like your mind where thoughts and feelings have no dimensions. Inside your VD Glasses is a device which detects your brainwaves. The Geschwister who installed it knew that someday this device would be important but they hadn’t developed the software at that stage. I’m pleased to tell you that some weeks ago our talented developers finalised it. This software translates your brainwaves into text and images. So when you enter the Mind Star, you are able to read and see your thoughts on the wall of the sphere. As you know, we sometimes think words and sometimes imagine different scenes. Trust me, it is a mind-blowing experience to face your own mind. The team and I have experimented with it for a while now. It’s better than any psychedelic drug you ever tried.’ Laughter came from the room. ‘Why have we developed this? Well, you can only get to know yourself better if you take a step away from your mind and you look at it like another person does. The Mind Star will help you think more clearly than 165

THE TRIBE

ever before as you get to know yourself better. You can even capture those thoughts if you wish. You can gain a knowledge of yourself that up until now was simply not possible. Now you can take a step back and see if you are happy with the person you are. The Mind Star will be the mirror of your soul. The place where you will say your prayers to your Creator. The place where you can read the book of your life.’ The room was now completely silent as everyone took in what I was saying. ‘The device even captures your mood and translates it into an external radiating colour of the Mind Star. For example, if you are in the Mind Star and you are happy, as you can see, the Mind Star starts shining in a yellow-orange colour. If you are in a sad mood, that colour is a lot more faded and gives little radiation.’ The 5th House was still silent. ‘I guess the last question you have is how do you enter the Mind Star? All you need to do is walk up the stairs here until your head hits the flat glass. Then you will disappear into your Mind Star.’ There was absolutely no sound coming from the Tribe. Slowly, rows of tiny dimmed lights, like you would see in a cinema, lit up the stairs. There were a few more moments of silence and then I heard footsteps. I looked at the stairs and saw Jerome making his way carefully up them. As he reached the top of the stairs it was as though the entire 5th House held its breath. Then his head immersed in the glass, like it was an upside down pool of water. Suddenly a bright star appeared in the sky above us. An “Oooooo” sound came from the Tribe and then I saw the next Geschwister walking up the stairs. Another star appeared. Then another person went up, and another, each one lighting the sky with bright stars. Some shone with a warm glow and others flashed brilliant white light. The dark night sky began to lighten as more and more Geschwister left their seats and joined their stars to the sky. I could now make out more details of the seating in the 5th House which was slowly getting emptier and emptier as the stars lit up. I turned my head and took in the sky. It was now a patchwork of stars, thousands of them shining brightly above me. The seating was almost completely empty now. I scanned the room and behind me saw that everyone had left their seats except for one. It was Taya, gazing silently upwards. I walked towards her and held my hand out. 166

HOWARD ROARK

‘Just me and you now,’ I said. Then, on my couch in the 1st Dimension, I felt her move. ‘Taya, don't you want to be in the 5th Dimension?’ I whispered. Two soft hands touched my face and her avatar disappeared. Taya slowly removed the VD Glasses from my face. Her face was covered in tears. She held my face between her hands and leaned towards me, looking deeply into my eyes. ‘I love you. I love you so much,’ she said. Taya moved my face to hers and kissed me. It was a long kiss. When we broke apart, she traced one hand down the side of my cheek and then slowly began unbuttoning my shirt.

167

THE TRIBE

BACK TO REALITY I must have slept for hours. I desperately needed it after spending so many weeks sleeping for barely 6 hours a night. As I woke I stretched my arms out on the white sheets and smelled the fragrance of Taya´s perfume. I still had the sweet taste of her lips in my mouth. We had made love to each other for hours. All night we had fallen asleep, then woken an hour or two later and made love again. It went on like this until the sun had come up and finally we were so tired we fell into a deep sleep. The sun was shining brightly through the curtains and I leant over to my bedside table to check my watch. It was 2.38pm. I smiled, thinking about what a long time it had been since I’d slept into the afternoon. Then I turned to wake up Taya and realised she wasn’t in bed. I figured she was in the bathroom so I got up and went to the kitchen to grab some water. I took the glass of water back to the bedroom and as I scanned the room I noticed Taya’s clothes weren’t where we’d left them in a heap on the floor as we undressed, not bothering about where they fell. A strange feeling began to snake up my insides. I knocked on the bathroom door but there was no answer, and when I looked inside it was empty. I went back to the bedroom and then I noticed that on her bedside table there was a white piece of paper. On it I could make out Taya’s handwriting. I picked the note up and stared at the words: I will always love you my Architect. Taya. My hands started shaking. I went around the flat looking in every corner thinking maybe she was joking and hiding somewhere. Or maybe she just went to buy coffee, I told myself. But something told me otherwise. I grabbed my phone and dialled her number. Her phone was off. Then I logged into the VDR but she wasn’t online. I sat on the couch and tried to collect my thoughts. Maybe she had had an appointment she’d forgotten about. She didn’t want to wake me up so left in a hurry. I tried to tell myself there was no reason to worry and I was 168

HOWARD ROARK

overthinking it, but when I thought of the note it didn’t seem like a casual “see you later”. I rang her again but it went straight to her voicemail. I left a message asking her to call me. My stomach was beginning to knot, something didn’t feel right. But how can it not feel right? I asked myself. I knew my love for her felt right. A sudden sobering thought hit me. Maybe it hadn’t felt right to her? Maybe after our long night she had panicked and got cold feet. Maybe in the morning she felt we had gone too far, further than she wanted. I felt sick at the thought. It had felt natural between us, she had seemed to want it as much as me. So what did all this mean? I tried calling once more, before hanging up when I got the message tone. She was clearly avoiding me, but why? Was she done with me? Then why write “I will always love you?” Obviously that was a clear statement that she loved me. I replayed the evening for the thousandth time. Had I done something wrong? Hours passed and my anxiety began to turn to anger. How could she just leave like that and not explain? Why hadn’t she talked to me if something was wrong? By the time the evening began to draw in my panic and anger had turned to a deadened feeling. ‘You see. This is what happens when you fall in love. The moment you give them your heart they leave you. Broken glass. This is all you are now.’ And there it is. Nothing can protect you from pain and loss. Not even finding your purpose, your Tribe. Does that scare you?

169

THE TRIBE

THE CODE I tried to reach Taya every day for two weeks. I rang her countless times but her phone was always switched off. I went to the Technology Field Geschwister and asked them when she’d last entered the VDR. They told me it was the evening of the Geschwister Ceremony. I asked Geschwister in the Tribe if they had heard from her, or she had told them anything, but they had no idea where she was. I cried often, sitting on my couch and missing her horribly. How could she disappear just like that, without even saying goodbye? Then one day when I called I got only a long beeping noise, like her phone had been disconnected. That, more than anything, persuaded me that she wasn’t coming back. I was heartbroken. One evening while I was on the way home from a dinner with my Home Tribe, I was reading the news on my phone while on the train. An article caught my eye. “Is The Tribe a Potential Risk to our Democratic System?” I scrolled further. “An unidentified person who calls himself Satoshi Nakamoto has uploaded a PDF Document called ‘The Guide of The Tribe’ in several online forums. This same unidentified person has uploaded the code for an Online Application with 5 Levels that are called Dimensions and has made this code available for everyone. They have attached a very detailed document on how to install and use this Application. In the document is also an extensive description of the advantages of living your life in a tribe. After checking with different forums where the application was uploaded, we can confirm that to date it has been downloaded at least 50,000 times. In the code development platform called Github, thousands of coders are working together to make improvements and extend this open source application. 170

HOWARD ROARK

For those of you who do not know who Satoshi Nakamoto was, he was the founder of the cryptocurrency called Bitcoin. To this day no one knows who the person behind the name Satoshi Nakamoto was. There are voices that say Mr Nakamoto is back in action but coding experts doubt this version. We may never know, since the person using the name has effectively covered his tracks on the Internet through encryption. Whatever the truth is regarding Satoshi Nakamoto, it looks like whoever uploaded this information has given the coding community the foundation for the next big digital movement.“ I blinked several times, not able to believe my eyes. To make sure I understood it correctly I read it again. Suddenly I recalled that moment when I met Taya in the room of the coders. In that moment my heart knew the truth, but my mind didn’t want to accept it. I raced home. When I got there I searched through my Time Capture films. I found the file from that evening and replayed it several times. It was impossible for me to understand what she was doing, because I was no coder. With shaking hands, I forwarded the Time Capture to Jerome and four senior coders. About an hour passed before I received a message back from Jerome: Thank you for the message and the attachment. Now we know for sure it was Taya who stole the code. Long live The Tribe! VD I sank onto the couch and put my head into my hands. Waves of agony pulsed through me. Why had she done this? Why had she betrayed the Tribe this way? I couldn’t believe she had lied to everyone, had stolen information, exposed us. My mind spun with pain until I couldn’t stand it anymore and curled up in a ball, crying like a kid. Word went fast around the Tribe about who had stolen the code. The Geschwister knew that Taya and I were close to each other. Half an hour later Jerome came to comfort me. He took me in his arms and we cried together. The other Geschwister also arrived one after another. I was devastated but for the first time in my life I felt that I was not alone in my desperation. I was with my Tribe.

171

THE TRIBE

NEW BEGINNING I let myself into my cheap motel room, and fired up my laptop. There was another article about the source code, this one on my homepage. I smiled and put the article into an encrypted digital file with the others. Word was spreading. The online forums where I’d first uploaded the code were reporting a huge spike in traffic and references to “Satoshi Nakamoto” were becoming increasingly common. I had flirted with the idea of choosing a different name, maybe something the Architect would see and link to me, something to help him understand. But the risk of The Manager connecting it to me was too great. I wasn’t stupid enough to think The Manager wouldn’t figure out who had uploaded the source code, but I didn’t want him to think I was taunting him. The first couple of weeks were the worst. I’d sent The Manager a message to tell him I’d delivered the payload, then I’d turned off my phones and checked into the motel under an assumed name. It was on the edge of the city centre, close enough for me to keep tabs on how things were playing out so long as I was careful, but far enough from my old flat to minimise the risk of running into anyone I knew by accident. I knew it wouldn’t take long for The Manager to realise I hadn’t delivered his payload at all, but was now a burnt card. But I wanted to buy as much time as possible for the source code to start gaining traction. As the days passed I jumped at every noise, and woke several times in the night thinking I had heard the knock on my door that would signal the worst. When I’d left the Architect’s flat the morning after the Geschwister Ceremony I’d felt calm and clear. I knew what I had to do. But that was cold comfort alone in the motel room in the middle of the night. Finally, after a month or so had passed, I felt like I could breathe again. One morning I went out for my morning ritual of buying takeaway coffee and a croissant. When I got back to my motel room I noticed a piece of folded paper had been slid under the door. I picked it up with a shaking hand and 172

HOWARD ROARK

stared at the words printed on it in The Manager’s distinctive handwriting: I trust the organisation will never see or hear from you again. Take Care kid. You were my best. I nodded quietly, tears pricking my eyes. The Manager was an asshole but he wasn’t completely evil, and it must have cost him to let me go. I knew it was time to leave and spent the next day or two making sure I had prepared everything. Finally I was ready but I couldn’t resist taking a trip to see my Architect one last time. I’d only seen him twice since the night of the Geschwister Ceremony. Both times he’d been dressed in his usual casual jeans and shirt and walked slowly, carrying his rucksack that always held his sketchbook and laptop. This evening was no different. I watched him from behind large sunglasses as he rounded the street, heading for the park. A long wig and smart business clothes completed my look. Maybe if he’d looked really closely he would have recognised me, but he never glanced in my direction. He looked tired, I thought, but that look of devastation on his face, the one that had almost killed me the first two times, had softened slightly. Good. I was glad. I hoped in time he would be able to get over what I’d done. I’d thought about sending him a message to explain. But I didn’t want to risk The Manager’s wrath, or put the Architect through any more than he’d already been through. Still, it was hard. I desperately wanted to tell him everything, even my real name. But what did that matter now? What were names anyway? Just smoke and mirrors. I followed him as he went into the park and watched from afar as he turned to greet a man with a bright scarf and a cheerful face. I recognised that man as one of the Geschwister and was glad that he had them to be there for him. I missed the Tribe deeply and the knowledge that they must all hate me, and I was now a pariah, cut deep. I knew I deserved it for betraying them but it was still a huge loss. Would they have forgiven me if I’d gone to them and told them who I really was and what I’d done? Maybe in time. But if I’d betrayed The Manager by staying with the Tribe he’d have come after me and them with everything he had before the source code had had a chance to be released. This was the way it had to be, I’d known that when I made my decision. 173

THE TRIBE

The sun was beginning to set and I pulled my jacket collar closer around my neck. I glanced up and could just see the first stars beginning to shine in the inky sky. It reminded me of the magical night of the Geschwister ceremony. I’d never known such peace and happiness as I had that night with him. I remembered every moment, every kiss, every word we said. My bags were packed and waiting on the motel bed. I had bought a train ticket to a small town a few miles outside of Berlin that would be my first stop. I was taking the last train, one which wouldn’t be busy. I checked my watch. It was almost time to go. The Architect and his Geschwister seemed deep in conversation now. The Geschwister pointed up and the Architect glanced at the sky before nodding, a faint smile on his face. I reached into my pocket and traced the familiar shape nestled inside. In my rush to leave my flat the day after the Ceremony I’d got changed and then grabbed handfuls of clothes and shoved them into a rucksack. It had been another week or so before I’d come across the dark purple jacket I’d been wearing that night. When I put on the jacket I realised there was a small lump in the outer pocket. I reached inside and drew out a small marble sphere, decorated in the blues, greens and whites of Earth. Wrapped around it was a note that read: Whenever I am in my Mind Star, I will think of the love I have for you. He must have hidden it there as a surprise. I’d cried then. Long, wracking sobs that I thought would never stop. Across the park the Architect and his Geschwister finished their conversation. They hugged briefly and then the Geschwister turned and left the park. The Architect stayed on the bench, gazing up at the stars. For a moment it was all I could do not to run to him and jump into his arms. I would have given anything just to kiss him, hug him, tell him I loved him and that that much had been true, had been real. But I knew now was not the time. He was still looking at the stars. I looked up as well. Maybe we were even looking at the same one. ‘I love you, my architect,’ I said softly. ‘Maybe one day I can tell you all of it. My whole story.’ I felt for the sphere in my pocket again and gently hugged it. ‘Goodbye,’ I said. Then I turned and walked into the night. 174

HOWARD ROARK

CICADA 3301 The Geschwister stayed till after midnight the evening I found out about Taya’s betrayal. Then one after another they started leaving, hugging me close and telling me they were there if I needed them, until only Jerome was left. I told him he should go home. His family needed him. But before he went I had one last question. ‘Jerome, I feel uneasy. Now that the code is public, does it mean that the Tribe is vulnerable to attacks?’ He smiled. ‘The Tribe will always be vulnerable to attacks. No matter what. It’s made of human beings. What do you expect?’ The way he said it made me smile too and I loved him for his honesty. He continued, ‘But as far as the code is concerned, there’s no need to worry about it. Taya only released the code for the application, but not the true source code.’ My eyes went widened and I felt as though I had just woken up with a start. ‘What do you mean?’ Jerome smiled again. ‘I guess now would be an excellent time to tell you how The Tribe started?’ I nodded quickly. ‘My predecessor is a very lovely woman who decided to step down after serving for some years as the captain of the Tribe. She wanted to spend more time with her family, especially with her husband who had cancer. Her name is Emily and she’s a lovely person, I’ll introduce her to you one day. She is a mentor to me and a soulmate who I often consult about issues with The Tribe. Well, on January 4th 2012, Emily was approached online via an encrypted channel by a cyber group calling themselves “Cicada 3301”. The sender told her about an Internet application the group had created. According to them, they were nerds who didn’t like direct human interaction very much. Not the very sociable kind of people, they preferred cyberspace. The group was 175

THE TRIBE

looking for people who had leadership skills and a love for humanity to build tribes in the 1st Dimension and then develop further to the other dimensions. They felt that it was time humanity made use of this application, after seeing how society was deteriorating. The group had developed the application for their own use and they knew it could do good in the right hands outside of them. So Cicada 3301 installed everything for Emily online and she started inspiring people to come together. When other coders joined the Tribe, they built on top of the source code which is so deeply encrypted that no one can really crack it. What Taya made public is just the application code on top of the encrypted source code.’ My mind whirled. I had no background in computer programming, and a lot of what he’d just said didn’t make sense to me. Jerome noticed my confusion. ‘Since you are an architect you will understand it if I explain it this way. The source code is the soil where you want to build the house. As you know, there are different types of soil. Cicada 3301 has the “soil” and they also built the foundations for the house. What Taya made public was the rest of the building. Walls, windows, doors, etc. The foundation is called API which stands for Application Programming Interface in the coding world. Cicada 3301 is built it in such a way that it can be used for other “soil” types as well. I assume they knew that someday someone would probably steal it. That is why they made sure it could be used by others as well if that happened. It would have been impossible for Taya to get Cicada 3301’s source code unless they gave it to her personally and it’s highly unlikely that happened. None of us knows who the people are that are behind this group. I guess we will never know, but whoever they are, they are our unknown heroes. Our guardian angels. People who are not fighting for their own glory. You see, being a coder is a huge responsibility. The better you are the bigger the responsibility. Nowadays the fate of humanity depends on coders. They carry a huge moral weight. They are the architects of our future. So, don’t worry about The Tribe. We are safe. And you know why? Because we have our foundation in the first Dimension. Everything starts there. Even the coders of Cicada 3301 need food, clothes and shelter. Electricity, a computer, Internet connection. Everything starts with a human connection, 176

HOWARD ROARK

whatever we do in life is about people. As imperfect and annoying as they are, as we are, we can only survive through collaboration with each other.’ I was still not fully convinced. ‘Yes, but I still find it worrying to depend on a group of people who we have never met. Doesn’t it contradict the first principal of The Tribe?’ I said. Jerome put his hand on my shoulder. ‘I guess those coders also know that. And I guess they know they can’t fully trust themselves either. This is why they built the structure of the Tribe starting in the First Dimension. Life goes on, offline as well. We forget that the Internet is only about 25 years old. How did people live before? Everything began in the 1st Dimension.’ He pulled his wallet out from his jacket and took out a neatly folded letter from one of its pockets. ‘A few months after I became the Captain of the Tribe, I wanted to quit. I felt I could not take the responsibility. So I rang my father to tell him I was thinking of resigning as Captain. He told me to wait for three more days. Two days later I got this letter from him. This is a copy I keep on myself to read whenever I feel disheartened.’ He read: Dear Jerome, I get bouts of despair too, but as I get older I realize that the human race is exactly that, as a whole..... A race.... To where? Often the bottom or mediocrity. There are a minority of well-meaning people, but a lot who do not think and have to be led. Unfortunately very few leaders can make a difference to this “collective moron” called the human race. I think you should try very hard not to burn yourself out Jerome. Life is a marathon. You must realize that what we do has to take time, maybe a lifetime. Do what you can. You do not have to become one of the crazy consumers, but using your artistic and communication skills is a good way to try and influence cultural change. What drives all human problems is the selfish need to be wealthier than the next person, have more to eat and more stuff. When we were monkeys in the trees we probably stripped every tree of fruit while fighting each other for the scraps left over, before moving on, breeding more and so on. Not a lot has changed since then in our subconscious. But sometimes special people come along who look at the big picture and have developed a layer 177

THE TRIBE

of civilization that counters this primeval desire to consume and get more from a “limitless” earth. I have gotten to a point where I see the greed in so many small ways, but I just see it as a human trait, just like lions wanting another kill to survive. I think psychologically we still think like predators running around on the plains of Africa. People who do not think fall back to this consciousness as a default all the time, and therefore collectively it is almost impossible. It takes centuries to change and we do not have centuries. Some shining lights among us + brilliant technological advances often saves the day... For a while at least until the default (greed) way of thinking begins again. My suggest son, is to do what you think is right, be cool, play it your way. Take a break when you need it. Do not expect anything from your fellow man... You are bound to be disappointed. When something good happens then it is an unexpected reward. Above all keep your sense of humor! Being born is serious, dying is serious, but in between is a big joke. Best regards Garry

178

HOWARD ROARK

THE TRIBES The article about The Tribes was right. All over the Sick World new movements began to form, based on the Tribe Open Source Code. In time the code became a Virus that the corporations couldn’t contain or cure. Suddenly people started waking up and realising what they were missing. Taya had managed to describe the life of The Tribe in such an inspiring way that it caught the imagination of people all over the world. Most of the people who read her document believed it was just a fantasy of hers, but that didn’t stop them from wanting to join a tribe or start their own. People who had the drive to become leaders began coming forward and building their own tribes and the source code helped those tribes to be politically and economically independent. The Tribe Guide helped them understand what keeps a tribe together and each new tribe built on that knowledge in their own unique way. In the first year that Taya made the code available a hundreds of tribes were founded. The year after it was thousands. There was The Tribe of Vegans. The Tribe of Environmental Protectors. The Tribe of Doctors and Nurses. The Tribe of Humanitarian Workers. The Tribe of Fishermen. The Tribe of Disabled People. The Tribe of Quantum Mechanics Scientists. The Tribe of Writers - the list went on and on. These different Tribes began to exert a huge influence on the politics and economy of each country, as more and more people joined and rejected their Sick Society roles. Meganetworld was the first corporation to collapse after hundreds of thousands resigned voluntarily and the Tribes refused to buy its products. Other corporations followed. Like dominos they started collapsing one after another. The political system was the next to change. As the malignant power of the large corporations started to wane and people demanded fairer and more transparent policies, new waves of politicians started working for the interests of the general populous. The Tribe system 179

THE TRIBE

had proven that a country can be governed with a lot less bureaucracy in line with true democratic principles. Over time new types of governments started to form. These Governments embraced the ethos of the tribes and actively helped to facilitate the creation of more. Within a few years the way that the tribes transcended boundaries began to reshape the geopolitical landscape. The notion of belonging to a country started to slowly be replaced with belonging to a tribe - one that wasn’t dependent on where you were born or which culture you originally belonged to. The Tribe source code made it possible for the tribe members to be anywhere in the world and still connect with each other in VDR. People started to move past their prejudices for other races and cultures. For the first time in history a global economy and a global government seemed close to becoming a reality. Work began towards collectively solving global problems like Climate Change, Environmental Destruction, Poverty, Human Rights, Peace and Security. People began to believe in a vision of a whole world that could be united in one body, with the individual Tribes as its cells. The problem the VD Tribe faced was that as always when something becomes popular, it runs the risk of becoming too large and then losing its structure. VD was keenly aware of the risk of The Tribe becoming so large it began to move towards the same place that the corporations had previously taken within the Sick Society. The Tribe had a long discussion on the matter of growth after Taya made the code public. One idea that was suggested was only allowing a certain amount of people to be recommended each year. But that led to fears of stifling the organic growth of The Tribe. After all, it was the new people that kept The Tribe fresh and brought new ideas and enthusiasm. In the end they decided to keep the process for accepting new Geschwister demanding, so that The Tribe only grew in a slow and sustainable way. New people often gave up on the idea after the 1st Dimension because they weren’t ready for the demands of Tribe life. More dropped out through the internship. From the people who were recommended and began the initial 180

HOWARD ROARK

journey, only around 20% became Geschwister of VD Tribe. This in itself was a guarantee for further unity and natural growth of The Tribe. After I became a Geschwister I never saw Antonia, Logan or Gunther in The Tribe. They had either given up on the way or were not accepted. I hoped that in time they would find the Tribe that was right for them. A further idea was introduced to cope with the issue of growing too large. The Tribe sat a Geschwister cap, but in a very clever way. Once a certain threshold was met, the Tribe encouraged members to start another tribe. Older, experienced Geschwister moved out and started new Tribes which made space for new members to join and grow in the VD Tribe. Each year the cap number was adjusted to reflect economic and political needs and ensure The Tribe remained independent. If The Tribe became too small to be independent they raised the cap and if it was too high and ran the risk of making competition inside the Tribe unhealthy, then the cap was kept. Newly recommended members were asked to join the other Tribes, and the older members were encouraged to start a new Tribe. There were additional reasons for asking older and more experienced Geschwister to move on. It made sure others had a chance to grow and get more responsibility, and made sure that the knowledge and skills of the experienced Geschwister were passed into new tribes. This had the added benefit of eliminating the human factor that kept people tempted to try and hold onto eternal power, like in the Sick World. As time went by the pain of Taya’s betrayal lessened. I could never know for sure what led her to release the source code, but I could see the positive effect it had had on the world. The rest of the VD Tribe also accepted what she had done, and were grateful for the changes, although they still condemned the way she had done it. The world was changing and I looked forward to the day when I, too, would leave my VD Tribe and help to begin a new one. But before then I was happy to dedicate myself to my Geschwister and helping to heal the Sick Society we had been part of.

181

THE TRIBE

Sometimes I look back to the weeks after she had left, and the heartache at losing her and knowing she had released the code. Those weeks were so painful I hadn’t known how I would recover or if I could ever forgive her. But as the weeks turned into months I began to feel a shift inside of me. I judged Taya harshly when I found out what she had done, but she taught me to be very careful before judging another person’s actions and their motivations. I know now that in life you can never tell how things will turn out, so it’s wise not to be too quick to draw firm conclusions about a situation. Time, and life, go on. And what once seemed hopeless can sometimes be the seeds to something bigger and greater than you can possibly imagine. In the end, Taya acted with love in her heart. That much I know. And, because of that, something tells me that, one day, I will see her again.

182