TICKLE PARTY! (SITCOM): "SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE A DESTINY’S CHILD" (SEASON 6, EPISODE 8 [6.08]) by RHC Templeton XII and Brandon VO Full House is over, but it’s not quite time for Boy Meets World. So, what time is it?! It’s 8:30 on T...G...I...F! IT’S...TIME...FOR... TITLE: TICKLE PARTY! VO Tickle Party! was filmed in front of a live studio audience. INT - PANCAKE HOUSE TICKLE PARTY (ADRIAN, RYAN, ERIC, STEVE, PAULA and PAUL) and KELLY ROWLAND are at a pancake house. DESTINY is the waiter. KELLY ROWLAND Excuse me, Destiny - or should I say......Dad? TICKLE PARTY snickers. SFX: ***LAUGH TRACK*** DESTINY Yes, Kelly Rowland - member of international super-group, Destiny’s Child. SFX: ***LAUGH TRACK*** KELLY Where is the bathroom? DESTINY Make a right and then a left. KELLY Thank you. KELLY exits. DESTINY (shout-whisper) Guys! Did you really spend all of our petty cash on one night out

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DESTINY with Kelly Rowland so she could call me her Dad?! TICKLE PARTY (feigning ignorance) "What?" "Que?" ""Je suis la jeune fille?" SFX: ***LAUGH TRACK*** DESTINY: Very funny joke, guys. Kelly Rowland is Destiny’s...Child. SFX: ***LAUGH TRACK*** DESTINY You know how much I hate reference-based humor! TICKLE PARTY looks around at each other, stifling giggles. Since they can’t hold it in anymore, they celebrate -Tickle Party-style. TICKLE PARTY (to the beat of "Laffy Taffy") Shake that Tickle Party/That Tickle Party, ohhhh/ Shake that Tickle Party, that Tickle Party, oooooo! SFX: ***ROSANNE BAR LAUGH-TRACK*** DESTINY Guys! Stop it! Do you wanna get me fired?! BEAT. ERIC Everyone. Destiny’s right. Let’s pipe down. For Destiny. TICKLE PARTY unsheathes and then clinks swords. TICKLE PARTY For Destiny. SFX: CROWD: ***Awwww*** ("Good Italian, that Mangin...") DESTINY Thank you, Eric. Now, what would you guys like? Adrian?

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KELLY ROWLAND comes back. ADRIAN Oh, Kelly’s our guest. Kelly should go first. KELLY Oh, thanks Addy. Lemme see. Are the chocolate pancakes good? DESTINY Our crowd favorite, yes. KELLY Great, so I’ll get that, and ummm, can you... KELLY looks around at the rest of TICKLE PARTY who, while trying to be casual, are vigorously nodding their heads. A MIC drops down to her. KELLY (sings) PAY MY BILLS? CAN YOU PAY MY AUTOMO-BILLS? CAN YOU PAY MY TELEPHONE BILLS? KELLY AND TICKLE PARTY I DON’T THINK YOU DO/ SO YOU AND ME ARE THROUGH! KELLY drops MIC and exits. BEAT. DESTINY Guys -SFX: 15 second APPLAUSE BREAK ("WOOOO!" "LOVE YOU KELLY!" "FREE MUMIA!!!") DESTINY Ok, now, we c-TICKLE PARTY: (celebrating) Shake that Tickle Party, that Tickle Party Ohhh! SFX: ***ROSANNE BARR LAUGH TRACK***

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DESTINY GOSH DARN IT TICKLE PARTY! MANAGER JANE LYNCH (Jane Lynch) enters. MANAGER Manager Jane Lynch here. Folks SFX: 1 MIN SECOND STANDING OVATION BREAK ("SUE SYLVESTER!" "BEST IN SHOW!" "FREE MUMIA!") MANAGER Folks, are we having a problem over here? DESTINY No, mam. They were...just excited over over our, uh, Grand Slam of options. MANAGER Well, good. We appreciate your and Ms. Rowland’s patronage, folks. (whispers in Destiny’s ear with clear sexual tension in inexplicably offensive Irish accent) I’ve gort abourt farteen cc’s of plortlet-rich blard engorgin’ me lordy-nards, Dorstiny Michelle Williams Riviera. MANAGER slaps DESTINY on the toosh, and exits. SFX:

Sexy "OoooOOOOooo!" DESTINY (looking into camera) What? A boy can’t have fun? RYAN Uhhh, Destiny, who ARE you talking to? DESTINY Our beautiful, Stamford studio audience.

CAMERA PAN to STUDIO AUDIENCE. They applaud super-genuinely, not like the audience on America’s Funniest Home Videos -CORPORATE ZIONISTIC-SPONSORED REPTILIAN DRONES!!!! KELLY ROWLAND rushes into the studio audience, crying.

5. SFX: ***SHOCKED SILENCE*** DESTINY Kelly Rowland, what’s wrong? KELLY My boyfriend... broke up with me! SFX: ***GASP!*** RYAN Kelly, your boyfriend in this Fields medal-winning fictional TV show... CLOSE-UP: "BEAUTIFUL MIND’S" JOHN NASH gives the finger. RYAN ...or your real-life boyfriend? KELLY (reading off cue cards) My actual, real-life boyfriend... SFX: ***DOUBLE GASP*** ("THIS MUST BE REAL!") KELLY Omar Gooding. SFX: ***RISERS COLLAPSING ON ACCOUNT OF PEOPLE FAINTING*** ("MEDIC!") ADRIAN You might not have that Wild and Crazy Kid...(waiting for delayed, rolling laugh)... SFX: ***DELAYED. ROLLING LAUGH***("OH OBSCURE NICKELODEON REFERENCE! NOSTALGIA!") ADRIAN ...anymore. But -PAUL and PAULA place hands on KELLY’s shoulders. PAULA AND PAUL But you got us. KELLY I know. But Omar and me would go to the best trips and galas, and -STEVE places hand on KELLY’S face.

6. STEVE Hey, you know what’s better than a gala? KELLY What? ERIC places butt on KELLY’s breast plate. ERIC A party.... MANAGER JANE LYNCH enters on roller skates and in a dominatrix outfit. MANAGER And what’s better than a party? KELLY Um, a... TICKLE PARTY!!!! Awww. You guys!!! SFX: ***CRYING-INDUCED DRY-HEAVING TRACK*** TICKLE PARTY goes in for a group-hug around KELLY ROWLAND. They motion to DESTINY. DESTINY Oh, I don’t know, guys... MANAGER JANE LYNCH lassos DESTINY into the group hug. SFX: "OOooooOOOoooOOO!" ("REVERSE GENDER SEXUAL HARRASMENT IS AMUSING AND MAKES UP FOR ALL THE REAL DISCRIMINATION THAT PLAGUES WOMEN IN THE WORKPLACE EVERYDAY!!!!") KELLY (in group hug) Hey, Adrian. Now that I’m single we should have a girl’s night out. ADRIAN Yeah? Like what? KELLY Hit it, DJ! MUSIC: "ALL THE SINGLE LADIES" BEYONCÉ, MICHELLE WILLIAMS, and OTHER MEMBERS OF DESTINY’S CHILD enter the studio audience singing and dancing. TICKLE PARTY joins along.

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DESTINY (shaking fist, a la Mr. Wilson in "Dennis the Menace") TICKLE PARRRRTTYYY! CREDITS ROLL BEHIND CREDITS: CAST performs "All the Single Ladies" with Destiny’s Child. Takes their bows, retrieves roses. Beautiful Mind’s John Nash blindsides Ryan with a fire extinguisher. VO Next week on a very special Tickle Party... CUT TO: ERIC is talking to TICKLE PARTY on a prison phone. ERIC (holding back tears) I’m being audited...by the Houston Astros... TICKLE PARTY places hands on security glass. FADE OUT