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CHAPTER 2: COMMUNICATION SKILLS
OBJECTIVE
GENERAL OBJECTIVE
This topic provides knowledge and experience for the students in order to communicate effectively, including listening skills, presentation, public speaking, interviews and meetings.
LEARNING OUTCOME At the end of this chapter, student should be able to: Develop listening skills •
Identify the barriers of communication and listening skills
•
Practice communication procedures
•
Deliver complete and clear information
Display effective presentation Practice effective public speaking Demonstrate the competent personality during interviews Participate in meetings
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2.0 COMMUNICATION SKILLS Communication is the meaningful interaction with people in such a manner that the ideal thought is same and getting the feedback also. Communication is commonly defined as "the exchange of thoughts, ideas, feelings, information, opinions and knowledge". There are four important characteristics of communication: • It is a 2-way process. • Communication process happens between or among two or more parties. (Sender and Receiver) • Communication involves exchange of ideas, feelings, information, thoughts, and knowledge. • Communication involves mutuality of understanding between sender and receiver. Communication Process According to Charles and Ronald (1971) communication process can be divided into two categories which are one way communication and two way communication. 1) One way communication Is a process indicates a flow of information, facts, theory, from one person to another. Example: When I give a lecture I am talking to students. When I am the author of a book or radio announcer I am communicating to the reader or listener. An important characteristic of the one way communication is that reader or listener has or no opportunity to respond or react immediately and directly. It is a linear and limited because it occurs in a straight line from sender to receiver and serves to inform, persuade or command. SENDER ------- MESSAGE ---------- RECEIVER Figure 2.1: One Way Communication Process 2) Two way communication A two way communication indicates a flow of information, facts and theory, among and between two or more individuals. Example: Seminars conducted with graduates’ students under graduates in honor’s programs, small group discussions, and research projects involving academic colleagues.
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The important characteristics of two ways communication is that the sender of a message has a much greater opportunity to get immediate reactions and responses from his listener. Two-way communication always includes feedback from the receiver to the sender and lets the sender know the message has been received accurately.
SENDER R FEEDBACK MESSAGE
RECIEVER
Figure 2.2: Two Way Communication Process In two-way communication, communication is negotiated. Both sender and receiver listen to each other, gather information and are willing to make changes to work together in harmony. Their intent is to negotiate a mutually satisfactory situation. Identify Communication Effectiveness Establishing and developing effective communication is important in order to be heard and change your environment according to your own thoughts. No one will guess what you want or what you think if you don’t tell them, and nothing is going to change if you do not propose a change. Pablo Golub (2006) suggests seven ways/tips that will help you to succeed in communicating effectively with others. a. Have self-worth Self-worth is analogous to self-confidence. The better you feel about yourself (i.e. the more you think you’re worth), the more confident you’re going to be. With self-worth, you can get what you want out of every conversation. Without self-worth you’ll be stuck in small-talk. In order to get what you want out of a conversation, you must give the other person a chance to believe that you’re worthy of their time and effort. b. Get interested in other people People have two stations which other people can listen to, WIFM (what’s in it for me) and WIFO (what’s in it for others). WIFM is boring for people to listen to. Most people are interested in themselves. People want to be flattered, and you can do this by letting the other person talk about him or herself, by changing the channel to WIFO. By changing the channel to WIFO, you have just led the person to feeling good about them. Sinceyou were the one who made them feel good about themselves, 3
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they will be indebted to you and will want to pay you back by helping you out with what you wanted them to do for you. c. Open up a person’s heart You can do these five different ways: i. Ask open-ended questions that really get the other person talking a lot. How was your day/weekend/week? What are your hobbies? What do you think of this town? If there is one wish you could wish for, what would it be? The last one might really get them thinking. Don’t limit yourself to just talking about the weather. Ask questions that make them think, that they would be interested in answering, as they feel good about themselves sharing their life with someone. In this case, you! Warning: Don’t just shoot many questions in a row without sharing a little bit about yourself. Doing this may make them feel uncomfortable, as they think you’re like a police officer or detective trying to solve a crime. ii. Compliment them! However, be specific; don’t just say you look nice. That doesn’t mean anything, but if you say, “you have a beautiful dress, it really compliments your skin color,” then you have a genuine compliment. iii. Ask a person’s name when you first meet them and remember it. From then on, address them by their name at all times. iv. Smile, you can never smile too much. v. Have a good sense of humor. d. Listen at least two times more than you talk You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Therefore, you should listen twice as much as you speak. To show that you’re listening effectively, you must ask follow-up questions. A follow-up question shows the other person that you’re listening, and perhaps equally important extends the length of the conversation in a good way. For example, somebody tells you they love to hike. Ask, why do you like to hike? What is it like to hike? I was interested in hiking; could you give me some basic advice on hiking? By showing you listen, and by extending the conversation, you really open up a person’s heart. e. Diversify yourself Learn about sports, dancing, even television shows, etc. This gives you subjects to talk about, as well as chances to meet new people. You get the chance to meet new people, plus the chance to diversify yourself, as well. It also gives you status, essential for getting the most out of any conversation. For people are more attracted to somebody who is diversified, and has a lot to talk about. Being diversified is an important commodity for anyone to have.
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f. Understand that your worth never changes You are worth a lot more than a million dollars. In fact, your worth is immeasurable. Therefore, there is no such thing as ‘rejection’ as you’re always worth the same no matter what. Nobody can reject you because nobody can change your worth. Moreover, don’t be afraid of something (rejection) that doesn’t exist. Take risks, ask for what you want, and eventually you will get what you want. g. Follow the step-ladder to success Imagine wanting to become the heavyweight champion of the world. First you have to beat, the lowerranked fighters, then the contenders, and then finally rise up to face the champ. In order to face the champ you have to take those three steps in the order stated in the previous sentence. According to the author of article Communicating Effectively (2008), in order to communicate effectively, they are eight rule to be complied. a. Organization - The first step is to know what message you want the listener to receive. Systematically organize your thoughts so that your message will be clear and easy to understand. Unorganized thoughts can lead to misunderstandings and confuse the listener. If you don't know what message you want to convey, how can you expect the recipient of the message to know what you are trying to convey? b. Planning - Important conversations should be planned ahead of time. Think of several scenarios with different reactions and plan where you will go with each reaction. Think about the person with whom you will be communicating, taking into consideration that person's personality and behavior. Prepare a solution for each reaction so that you know beforehand how you will respond. c. Body Language - Non-verbal signals are a large part of the communication factor. Your facial expressions and gestures will play a role in determining the response that you will receive. Your body language must match your words for your communication to be clear. Sending mixed signals isone of the most frequent causes of miscommunication. d. Simple and Concise - The goal is to convey a certain message that creates a response. Keep your key points simple and easy to understand. If you state your point in a clear and concise manner without repeating yourself, your message will be easier for the recipient to understand. e. Respond - Often times, it is hard to separate facts from feelings. You should always respond to the person you are communicating with rather than reacting to the person emotionally. Be sure to clearly answer any questions or concerns that the person may have, and again - keep it simple. f. Common Ground - Try to find a common ground with the person you are communicating with. Don't place your focus on differences of opinion, but work together to find a common ground that all parties can be comfortable with. g. Stay Positive - Staying positive will decrease the chance that the person you are communicating with
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will react to you rather than respond. Negative statements more often elicit a negative reaction. Positive statements will more often elicit a positive response. h. Listen - The goal of effective communication is for all parties involved to come to an understanding about the topic of the conversation. It is very important that you listen to what the other person has to say and address any concerns that either of you may have. Many times, whether the person likes a change or not, they are more willing to make the change if they feel that the person communicating with them actually listens to their point of view. Shayams (2011) outline three guidelines in order to communicate effectively: a. Communicating through speech i. Be articulate. It is important to speak clearly, so that the message comes across in a way that every listener can understand. Articulate talk is talk that gets remembered because people instantly understand what it is that you are saying. It means uttering your words distinctly, preferring simpler words over more complex ones, and speaking at a level guaranteed to be heard but without coming across as too loud, overly excited, or disengaged. Avoid mumbling. Sound out the words clearly and openly, with the intent to have them heard without error. If mumbling is a defensive habit that you have fallen into out of fear of communicating, practice your message at home in front of the mirror. Discuss what you want to communicate with those you feel comfortable around first, to better develop the message in your own mind. Both the practice and the development of your words for the messaging will build your confidence. ii. Listen actively. Communication is a two-way street and requires you to listen as well as talk. Remember that while you are talking, you are not learning. In listening, you will be able to gauge how much of your message is getting through to your listeners and whether or not it is being received correctly or is being misinterpreted. It can be helpful to ask listeners to rephrase some of what you have said in their own words if they appear to be returning confused or mistaken views to you. iii. Be vocally interesting. A monotone is not pleasing to the ear. A good communicator will use "vocal color" to enhance the communication. Norma Michael recommends raising the pitch and volume of your voice when you transition from one topic or point to another, and to increase your volume and slow down your voice whenever you are raising a special point or summing up.[2] She also recommends speaking briskly but pausing to emphasize keywords when you are requesting action.
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b. Organizing your communication i. Be clear from the outset as to the purpose of what you wish to convey. For example, your purpose could be to inform others, to obtain information, or to initiate action. You need to know in advance what you expect from your communication. ii. Organize and clarify ideas in your mind before you attempt to communicate them. If you are feeling passionate about a topic, you may become garbled if you haven't already thought of some key points to stick to when communicating it. A good rule of thumb is to choose three main points and keep your communication focused on those. That way, if the topic wanders off course, you will be able to return to one or more of these three key points without feeling flustered. iii. Stay on topic. Once you start addressing your three main points, make sure all facts, stories, allusions, etc., add to the conversation or debate. If you have already thought through the issues and the essence of the ideas that you wish to put across, it is likely that some pertinent phrases will stick in your mind. Do not be afraid to use these to underline your points. Even very confident and well- known speakers re-use their key lines again and again for major effect. iv. Recognize people. Sure, you don't necessarily know the people in your audience or that new friend in your group, but they're nodding along with you and looking knowingly at you all the same. This means that they are connecting with you. So reward them with your acknowledgment.
c. Communicating through body language i. Use facial expressions consciously. Aim to reflect passion and generate empathy with the listener by using soft, gentle, and aware facial expressions. Avoid negative facial expressions, such as frowns or raised eyebrows. What is or isn't negative is dependent on the context, including cultural context, so be guided by your situation. Be alert for unexpected behavior that suggests you're cross-culturally colliding, such as a clenched fist, a slouched posture, or even silence. ii. Communicate eye to eye. Eye contact establishes rapport, helps to convince that you're trustworthy, and displays interest. During a conversation or presentation, it is important to look into the other person's eyes if possible and maintain contact for a reasonable amount of time. iii. Use breathing and pauses to your advantage. There is power in pausing. Siimon Reynolds says that pausing causes an audience to lean in and listen, their interest piqued; it helps you to emphasize your points, allowing the listener time to digest what has been said; it helps to make your communication come across as more compelling, and it makes your speech easier to listen to. iv. Use hand gestures carefully. Be conscious of what your hands are saying as you speak: Hand gestures can be divided into open gestures (positive responses) or closed/concealed gestures (negative responses). Some hand gestures can be very effective in highlighting your 7
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points (open gestures), while others can be distracting or even offensive to some listeners, and can lead to the conversation or listening being closed down (closed gestures). v. Keep a check on other body language signals. Watch for wandering eyes, hands picking at fluff on your clothing, and constant sniffling. These small gestures add up and are all guaranteed to dampen the effectiveness of your message, and will result in your ceasing to engage your listeners. Barriers of Communication An effective communication barrier is one of the problems faced by many organizations. Many social psychologists opine that there is 50% to 70% loss of meaning while conveying the messages from a sender to a receiver. They estimate there are four basic places where communication could be interpreted wrongly. A few barriers of effective communication in an organization are given below. Physical Barriers - One of the major barriers of communication in a workplace is the physical barrier. A physical barrier in an organization includes large working areas that are physically separated from others. Other distractions that could cause a physical barrier in an organization are the environment, background noise. Language - Inability to converse in a language that is known by both the sender and receiver is the greatest barrier to effective communication. When a person uses inappropriate words while conversing or writing, it could lead to misunderstanding between the sender and a receiver. Emotions - Your emotions could be a barrier to communication if you are engrossed in your emotions for some reason. In such cases, you tend to have trouble listening to others or understanding the message conveyed to you. A few of the emotional interferences include hostility, anger, resentfulness and fear.
Lack of Subject Knowledge - If a person who sends a message lacks subject knowledge then he may not be able to convey his message clearly. The receiver could misunderstand his message, and this could lead to a barrier to effective communication. Stress - One of the major communication barriers faced by employees in most of the organization is stress. When a person is under immense stress, he may find it difficult to understand the message, leading to communication distortion. At the time of stress, our psychological frame of mind depends on our beliefs, experiences, goals and values. Thus, we fail to realize the essence of communication.
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Make detailed notes orderly Notes are simply a summary of information which will help trigger your memory, about a subject, at a later date. Suggestions for taking and make detailed notes are as follows: Develop a standard method of taking including abbreviation and symbols; Write in your own words except quotation; Use color or distinctively mark ideas and concepts the lecturer emphasizes; Put your name, date and page number on your notes; Make your notes legible – but remember that neatness does not increase learning; If you can afford it take notes on one side of the page. It is easily to see exactly what you have of you spread out the pages and extra comments can be made on the reverse side; Be discriminating and selective, picking key concepts, principles facts. Do not write everything down.
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2.1 Listening Skills 2.1.1 Communication and Listening Skills Barriers 2.1.1.1 Listen Effectively Listening Barriers Are you a good listener? Why/ why not? What are the obstacles that stand in the way of effective listening? In order to listen and communicate effectively, we should watch out for the following listening Barriers: DEFENSIVENESS
ENVIRONMENTAL DISTRUCTION
CRITICAL EVALUATION OF THE SPEAKER
INFORMATION OVERLOAD
LISTENING BARRIERS
ASSUMPTIONS
a. Environmental Distractions These include cell phones, music players, TV, portable gaming consoles and others. Whenever possible, put yourself in a good environmental position for more effective listening. b. Defensiveness Defending is a primal response to feeling attacked, threatened, misunderstood or disrespected. This will normally results in never-ending argument, protest, denial and blaming. Don’t view comments and criticisms as personal attack. c. Assumptions Human mind can process a lot of information especially in between conversation while the other party is still talking; we have the tendency to interrupt because we assume that we already know what the other is telling us. Always keep an open mind for effective listening and for effective learning. d. Information overload Too much stimulation or information can make it very difficult to listen with full attention. Try to focus on the relevant information, and the central points that are being conveyed.
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e. Critical evaluation of the speaker Do not be distracted by critical evaluations of the speaker. Focus on what they are saying – the message - rather than the messenger.
2.1.1.2 One way and Two way Communication Communication can travel in two directions : one way and two way • •
Serve to inform, persuade or command people Eg. Radio and tv programs, public announcements (airport, train/bus stations, stores). Speeches and lecturer as well as telephones customer service recordings
• One Way----Two way
Listener gives feedback to the speaker and lets him/her know that the message has been receiver accurately
Listening Strategies
Identify the listening goal • to obtain pecific Information
Outline predictable Sequences • who-what-when-where (news stories)
• to understand the message
• who-flight numberarriving/ departing-gate number (airport announcements)
• to decide whether to continue listening
• "for [function], press [number]" (telephone recordings)
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Identify the key words/phrases to listen for
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2.1.1.3 Communication Effectiveness Good communication starts with listening. Do you agree? Why/ why not? What makes a good speaker ‘good’ in that sense? Listening is as equally important as speaking. These two skills are closely intertwined as each is critical to the other in a communication. What do you think would happen to a group of good speakers (bad listeners instead) when they gathered for a discuss to establish effective communication? Why/ why not? How to be an Effective Listener? While there are many tips around for establishing effective listening skills, choose only the one that works best for you: Put yourself in the speaker’s place
Review frequently what the speaker has said
Tips on how to be an Effective listener
Find at least one major application or conclusion from every message you hear
Constantly ask yourself positive questions about what the speaker is saying
Figure 2.4 : Establishing Effective Listening Skills Questions to ask yourself while listening Tips on 1. What is he saying; what does it really mean? 2. How does that relate to what he said before? 3. Where is he going; what’s the point he’s trying to make? 4. How is that helpful; how can I use this? 5. Does this make any sense? 6. Am I getting the whole story? 7. How does this relate to what I already know? 8. Is he leaving anything out? 9. How does this relate to what I already know? 12
Listen as though you are going to be required to present the same message to a different audience later
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2.1.2 Communication Procedures 2.1.2.1 Oral Communication, Information transfer is a common practice in real life communication. The information gathered from listening could thus be translated into both oral and written forms as well as in the form of graphics. Listen & speak • Goal: To transfer the information gathered from listening to the third party verbally • Eg. Talking about a radio announcement with friends etc Listen & write • Goal: To transfer the information gathered from listening to the third party in written form • Eg. Checking off items in a list, taking down lecture notes etc Listen & draw • Goal: To transfer the information gathered from listening to the third party with the help of diagrams/pictures • Eg. Drawing a route on a map etc
2.1.2.2 Communicate Accurtely, Clearly And Appropriately to the Situation. Listening skills are hard to develop because listening is a far more active process than simply hearing the words that someone says to you. Listening certainly involves hearing but also involves the participation of the listener in the conversation. By participating, the listener is : • • • •
Hearing the words Attempting to understand the meaning Providing feedback Seeking clarification
Response Techniques Listening is an interaction between the speaker and the listener. Thus, failing to give appropriate response to the speaker might hinder the real communication. The table below thus outlines some response techniques that could be used by the listener in order to communicate effectively with the speaker.
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Table 2.1 : Response Techniques Technique Clarifications
Neutrality
Purpose Using a question to understang exactly what the speaker means in general or by a particular phrase. An expression that encourages more information without leading the person.
Expansion
Building on key word or phrase to get additional information.
Repetation
Repeating your quesyion if you did not get a satisfactory answer the first time.
Clarifying inconsisyencies
Admitting that you do not understand and a clarification is needed.
Comfirming feeling
Demonstrating that you have some understanding of how they feel by feeding their apparent feelings back to them.
summarising
Summing up what has been said far and seeking verification that this is an accurate summary.
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Example “ A person who is not part of the ‘in’ group can’t expect recognition” “what do you mean by ‘in’ group?” “It sounded good at the time” “Uh-huh” “It didn’t turn out that way though” “Oh?” “I was beginning to feel that my job might be phased out” “Uh-huh. What made you feel that?” “Which of your qualifications contributed To your promotion?” “Well, you see the old supervisor retired so the job was open” “I see, but which of your qualifications contributed to your promotion?” “That being the case, I decided to look for another job” “I’m sorry, I seem to be confused. I thought you left that job to finish your management training. What gave me that impression?” “I didn’t get any credit for the new system even though it was my idea and I worked over 1,000 hours on it” “You feel your creativity and willingness To work long hours are not appreciated?” “So basically it was my project all the way” “It was your idea, you sold it to management, and then worked out all the details, including implementation. Right?”
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2.1.3 Complete and Clear Information 2.1.3.1 Detailed Notes Orderly To take good notes, there is no need to copy down every single word from what you have heard. Be alert and attentive to the main points and use only key words or short phrases. Follow the steps below: Have a clear purpose
Recognize main ideas
Select what is relevant
Have a system for recording information that works for you Figure 2.7 : Detailed Notes Orderly
Note- taking Strategies •
Using consistent symbols & abbreviations
•
Listening for structural cues (signpost/transition words, introduction, body and summary stages)
•
Use organization the ntg concepts maps/diagrams (if applicable)
•
Listening for phonological cues (voice change in volume, speed, emotion)
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How to Organize the Notes?
1. When the main points & details are long phrases & sentences Main point Detail Detail Detail
2. When details are symbols, statistics, single words or very short phrases Main point Detail Further detail
3. When the speaker tends to backtrack and give specific details on the points mentioned earlier
4. When details precede the main point
Further detail Main point
Detail
detail
Detail Detail Detail
Main point
Detail Detail Detail
Main point
Further detail
Detail
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