On Halakhah #8: The Halakhot of Sex and Halakhic Genres David Zvi Kalman - [email protected] 1. Kalonymus ben Kalonymus of Arles (d. 1328), Even Bohan (quoted in Greenberg, Wrestling with God and Men, pp. 118-20): Oh, but had the artisan who made me

And when I was ready and the time was right, an

created me instead—a fair woman.

excellent youth would be my fortune.

Today I would be wise and insightful.

He would love me, place me on a pedestal, dress me in

We would weave, my friends and I,

jewels of gold,

and in the moonlight spin our yarn,

earrings, bracelets, necklaces.

and tell our stories to one another,

And on the appointed day,

from dusk till midnight.

in the season of joy when brides are wed, for seven days would the boy increase my delight and

We’d tell of the events of our day, silly things,

gladness.

matters of no consequence. But also I would grow very wise from the spinning,

Were I hungry, he would feed me well-kneaded bread.

and I would say, “Happy is she who knows how to work

Were I am thirsty, he would quench me with light and

with combed

dark wine.

flax and weave it into fine white linen.”

He would not chastise nor harshly treat me, and my [sexual] pleasure he would not diminish.

And at times, in the way of women,

Every Sabbath, and each new moon,

I would lie down on the kitchen floor,

his head he would rest upon my breast.

between the ovens, turn the coals, and taste the

The three husbandly duties he would fulfill,

different dishes. On holidays I would put on my best

rations, raiment, and regular intimacy.

jewelry.

And three wifely duties would I also fulfill,

I would beat on the drum

[watching for menstrual] blood, [Sabbath candle]

and my clapping hands would ring.

lights, and bread.

:‫ מסכת מגילה ז‬.2

‫אמר רבא מיחייב איניש לבסומי בפוריא עד דלא ידע בין ארור המן לברוך מרדכי רבה ורבי זירא עבדו סעודת פורים‬ ‫בהדי הדדי איבסום קם רבה שחטיה לרבי זירא למחר בעי רחמי ואחייה לשנה אמר ליה ניתי מר ונעביד סעודת פורים‬ ‫בהדי הדדי אמר ליה לא בכל שעתא ושעתא מתרחיש ניסא‬ 2. Babylonian Talmud, Megillah 7b Raba said: It is the duty of a man to mellow himself [with wine] on Purim until he cannot tell the difference between cursed be Haman’ and ‘blessed be Mordecai’. -1-

Rabbah and R. Zera joined together in a Purim feast. They became mellow, and Rabbah arose and cut R. Zera's throat. On the next day he prayed on his behalf and revived him. Next year he said, Will your honour come and we will have the Purim feast together. He replied: A miracle does not take place on every occasion 3. Ḥafetz Ḥayyim (R’ Yisrael Meir Kagan, d. 1933, Belarus), introduction, p. 15 (trans. in Benjamin Brown, “From Principles to Rules and from Musar to Halakhah: The Hafetz Hayim's Rulings on Libel and Gossip,” Diné Israel 25 (2008), pp. 171–256. And I entreat the agreeable reader that if he finds something that does not appear to him at first glance to be a requirement of law, but rather a stringency, or an expansion or abbreviation of language, he should not be quick to judge it to be in error until he has studied well the Be’er Mayim Hayim and all of the rules that are essential to this law. For, if he is lacking one component rule of this law, he will not completely understand the law. For I have truly studied in depth each and every paragraph in this book (in consultation with col- leagues who are preeminent Torah scholars), and I have done a thorough search so that it does not contradict any talmudic source. On a number of occasions, I spent days investigating one matter, until I clarified the true law, with God’s help. The reader who will heed these words and study well all of the legal rules will rightly see that every word in this book was written with legal precision.

‫ שיר השירים פרק ד‬.4 ‫ ב ִשׁנַּ יִ ְך כְּ ֵﬠ ֶדר‬.‫ ֶשׁגָּ לְ שׁוּ ֵמ ַהר גִּ לְ ﬠָ ד‬,‫ ִמ ַבּ ַﬠד לְ צַ ָמּ ֵתְך; ַשׂ ְﬠ ֵרְך כְּ ﬠֵ ֶדר ָהﬠִ זִּ ים‬,‫ﬠֵ ינַ יִ ְך יוֹנִ ים‬--‫ ִהנָּ ְך יָ ָפה‬,‫א ִהנָּ ְך יָ ָפה ַרﬠְ יָ ִתי‬ ‫וּמ ְד ָבּ ֵרְך נָ אוֶ ה; כְּ ֶפלַ ח‬ ִ ,‫תוֹתיִ ְך‬ ַ ‫ ג כְּ חוּט ַה ָשּׁנִ י ִשׂ ְפ‬.‫ ֵאין ָבּ ֶהם‬,‫ וְ ַשׁכֻּ לָ ה‬,‫ ַמ ְת ִאימוֹת‬,‫ ֶשׁכֻּ לָּ ם‬:‫ ָה ַר ְחצָ ה‬-‫ ֶשׁﬠָ לוּ ִמן‬,‫ַה ְקּצוּבוֹת‬ ‫ ה ְשׁנֵ י‬.‫ כֹּל ִשׁלְ ֵטי ַהגִּ בּ ִֹרים‬,‫ ָבּנוּי לְ ַתלְ ִפּיּוֹת; ֶאלֶ ף ַה ָמּגֵ ן ָתּלוּי ﬠָ לָ יו‬,‫ארְך‬ ֵ ָ‫ ד כְּ ִמגְ ַדּל ָדּוִ יד צַ וּ‬.‫ ִמ ַבּ ַﬠד לְ צַ ָמּ ֵתְך‬,‫ָה ִרמּוֹן ַר ָקּ ֵתְך‬ ‫גִּ ְב ַﬠת‬-‫ וְ ֶאל‬,‫ ַהר ַהמּוֹר‬-‫ ֵאלֶ ְך לִ י ֶאל‬--‫ וְ נָ סוּ ַהצְּ לָ לִ ים‬,‫פוּח ַהיּוֹם‬ ַ ָ‫ ו ﬠַ ד ֶשׁיּ‬.‫שּׁוֹשׁנִּ ים‬ ַ ‫ ַבּ‬,‫ ָהרוֹﬠִ ים‬,‫אוֹמי צְ ִביָּ ה‬ ֵ ‫ ְתּ‬,‫ָשׁ ַדיִ ְך כִּ ְשׁנֵ י ﬠֳ ָפ ִרים‬ .‫ וּמוּם ֵאין ָבְּך‬,‫ ז כֻּ לָּ ְך יָ ָפה ַרﬠְ יָ ִתי‬.‫ַהלְּ בוֹנָ ה‬ 4. Song of Songs 4:1-6 1 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thine eyes are as doves behind thy veil; thy hair is as a flock of goats, that trail down from mount Gilead. 2 Thy teeth are like a flock of ewes all shaped alike, which are come up from the washing; whereof all are paired, and none faileth among them. 3 Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy mouth is comely; thy temples are like a pomegranate split open behind thy veil. 4 Thy neck is like the tower of David builded with turrets, whereon there hang a thousand shields, all the armour of the mighty men. 5 Thy two breasts are like two fawns that are twins of a gazelle, which feed among the lilies. 6 Until the day breathe, and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the mountain of myrrh, and to the hill of frankincense.

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‫ב‬:‫ משנה כתובות א‬.5 ...‫ מפני שהוא מתייחד עימה‬,‫אינו יכול לטעון טענת בתולים‬--‫האוכל אצל חמיו ביהודה שלא בעדים‬ 5. Mishna Ketubbot 1:2 In Judaea, one who dine at his [future] father-in-law’s houes without witnesses cannot later claim that his wife was not a virgin, because he has secluded himself with her.

‫ תלמוד בבלי מסכת יבמות דף לז עמוד ב‬.6 ‫ וכן היא שבאו עליה אנשים‬,‫ הרי שבא על נשים הרבה ואין יודע על איזהו מהן בא‬:‫ ר' אליעזר בן יעקב אומר‬,‫דתניא‬ ,‫ ונתמלא כל העולם כולו ממזרין‬,‫ נמצא אב נושא את בתו ואח נושא את אחותו‬,‫הרבה ואינה יודעת מאיזה מהן קבלה‬ ‫ לא‬:‫ יתר על כן אמר ר' אליעזר בן יעקב‬.‫ זו מה היא‬:‫ הכי קאמר‬,‫ ורבא? אמר לך‬.‫ אומלאה הארץ זמה‬:‫ועל זה נאמר‬ ?‫ איני‬.‫ ונמצא אח נושא את אחותו‬,‫ שמא יזדווגו זה לזה‬,‫ישא אדם אשה במדינה זו וילך וישא אשה במדינה אחרת‬ ‫ מאן הויא‬:‫ ]מכריז[ ואמר‬,‫ מאן הויא ליומא? ורב נחמן כי איקלע לשכנציב‬:‫ ]מכריז[ ואמר‬,‫והא רב כי איקלע לדרדשיר‬ .‫ דפקיע שמייהו‬,‫ליומא? שאני רבנן‬ 6. Babylonian Talmud, Yevamot 37b R. Eliezer b. Jacob said, 'Behold, when a man has intercourse with many women and does not know with which particular woman he had intercourse, and, similarly, when a woman with whom many men had intercourse does not know to which particular man her conception is due, the consequences are that a father will be marrying his daughter and a brother his sister, and the whole world will be filled with bastards, and concerning this it was said, And the land became full of lewdness'. And Raba? — He can answer you: It is this that was meant, 'What might be the result'? More than that was said by R. Eliezer b. Jacob: A man shall not marry a wife in one country and then proceed to marry one in another country, since [their children] might marry one another and the result might be that a brother would marry his sister. But, surely, this could not be [the accepted ruling], for Rab, whenever he happened to visit Dardeshir, used to announce, 'Who would be mine for the day'! So also R, Nahman, whenever he happened to visit Shekunzib, used to announce, 'Who would be mine for the day'! — The Rabbis came under a special category since they are well known.

‫ תלמוד בבלי מסכת ברכות דף סב עמוד א‬.7 ‫ למדתי שאין‬:‫ ולמדתי ממנו שלשה דברים‬,‫ פעם אחת נכנסתי אחר רבי יהושע לבית הכסא‬:‫ אמר רבי עקיבא‬,‫תניא‬ ‫ ולמדתי שאין נפרעין מעומד אלא מיושב ולמדתי שאין מקנחין בימין אלא‬,‫נפנין מזרח ומערב אלא צפון ודרום‬ :‫ בן עזאי אומר‬,‫ תניא‬.‫ תורה היא וללמוד אני צריך‬:‫ אמר ליה‬- !‫ עד כאן העזת פנים ברבך‬:‫ אמר ליה בן עזאי‬.‫בשמאל‬ ‫ למדתי שאין נפנין מזרח ומערב אלא‬:‫ ולמדתי ממנו שלשה דברים‬,‫פעם אחת נכנסתי אחר רבי עקיבא לבית הכסא‬ :‫ אמר לו רבי יהודה‬.‫ ולמדתי שאין מקנחין בימין אלא בשמאל‬,‫ ולמדתי שאין נפרעין מעומד אלא מיושב‬,‫צפון ודרום‬ ‫ שמעיה דשח‬.‫ גנא תותיה פורייה דרב‬,‫ רב כהנא על‬.‫ תורה היא וללמוד אני צריך‬:‫ אמר לו‬- !‫עד כאן העזת פניך ברבך‬ -3-

‫ דלאו ארח‬,‫ הכא את? פוק‬,‫ כהנא‬:‫ דמי פומיה דאבא כדלא שריף תבשילא! אמר לו‬:‫ אמר ליה‬,‫ושחק ועשה צרכיו‬ .‫ תורה היא וללמוד אני צריך‬:‫ אמר לו‬.‫ארעא‬ 7. Babylonian Talmud, Berakhot 62a It has been taught: R. Akiba said: Once I went in after R. Joshua to a privy, and I learnt from him three things. I learnt that one does not sit east and west but north and south; I learnt that one evacuates not standing but sitting; and I learnt that it is proper to wipe with the left hand and not with the right. Said Ben Azzai to him: Did you dare to take such liberties with your master? He replied: It was a matter of Torah, and I required to learn. It has been taught: Ben 'Azzai said: Once I went in after R. Akiba to a privy, and I learnt from him three things. I learnt that one does not evacuate east and west but north and south. I also learnt that one evacuates sitting and not standing. I also learnt it is proper to wipe with the left hand and not with the right. Said R. Judah to him: Did you dare to take such liberties with your master? — He replied: It was a matter of Torah, and I required to learn. R. Kahana once went in and hid under Rab's bed. He heard him chatting [with his wife] and joking and doing what he required. He said to him: One would think that Abba's mouth had never sipped the dish before! He said to him: Kahana, are you here? Go out, because it is rude. He replied: It is a matter of Torah, and I require to learn.

‫ תלמוד בבלי מסכת סוכה דף נב עמוד א‬.8 ‫ נקדים וניזיל‬:‫ דאביי שמעיה לההוא גברא דקאמר לההיא אתתא‬,‫ כי הא‬.‫ ובתלמידי חכמים יותר מכולם‬:‫אמר אביי‬ ‫ כי הוו פרשי מהדדי שמעינהו דקא‬.‫ אזל בתרייהו תלתא פרסי באגמא‬.‫ איזיל אפרשינהו מאיסורא‬:‫ אמר‬.‫באורחא‬ ‫ תלא‬,‫ אזל‬.‫ לא הוה מצי לאוקומיה נפשיה‬- ‫ אי מאן דסני לי הוה‬:‫ אמר אביי‬.‫ אורחין רחיקא וצוותין בסימא‬:‫אמרי‬ .‫ כל הגדול מחבירו יצרו גדול הימנו‬:‫ תנא ליה‬,‫ אתא ההוא סבא‬.‫ ומצטער‬,‫נפשיה בעיבורא דדשא‬ 8. Babylonian Talmud, Sukkah 52a Our Rabbis taught: ‘But I will remove far off from you the hidden one’, refers to the Evil Inclination which is constantly hidden in the heart of man; and will drive him into a land barren and desolate means, to a place where there are no men for him to attack; with his face toward the eastern sea, [implies] that he set his eyes against the First Temple and destroyed it and slew the scholars who were therein; and his hinder part toward the western sea [implies] that he set his eyes against the Second Temple and destroyed it and slew the scholars who were therein. That his foulness may come up and his ill-savour may come up [means] that he leaves the other nations in peace and attacks only Israel. Because he hath done great things. Abaye explained, Against scholars more than against anyone; as was the case when Abaye heard a certain man saying to a woman, ‘Let us arise betimes and go on our way’. ‘I will’, said Abaye, ‘follow them in order to keep them away from transgression’ and he followed them for three parasangs across the meadows. When they parted company he heard them say, ‘Our company is pleasant, the way is long’. ‘If it were I’, said Abaye, ‘I could not have restrained myself’, and so went and leaned in deep anguish against a doorpost, when a certain old man36 came up to him and taught him: The greater the man, the greater his Evil Inclination.

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‫א‬:‫ משנה נידה ב‬.9 ‫כל היד המרבה לבדוק בנשים משובחת ובאנשים תקצץ‬ 9. Mishnah Niddah 2:1 Every hand that makes frequent examination is in the case of women praiseworthy,1 but in the case of men it ought to be cut off. :‫ מסכת נידה יד‬.10

‫אמר רב המקשה עצמו לדעת יהא בנדוי ולימא אסור דקמגרי יצה"ר אנפשיה ורבי אמי אמר נקרא עבריין שכך‬ <‫אומנתו של יצר הרע היום אומר לו עשה כך ולמחר אומר לו עשה כך ולמחר אומר לו לך עבוד >עבודת כוכבים‬ ‫}עבודה זרה{ והולך ועובד‬ ‫איכא דאמרי אמר רבי אמי כל המביא עצמו לידי הרהור אין מכניסין אותו במחיצתו של הקב"ה כתיב הכא )בראשית‬ ‫לח( וירע בעיני ה' וכתיב התם )תהילים ה( כי לא אל חפץ רשע אתה לא יגורך רע‬ ‫ואמר ר' אלעזר מאי דכתיב )ישעיהו א( ידיכם דמים מלאו אלו המנאפים‬ ‫ביד תנא דבי רבי ישמעאל )שמות כ( לא תנאף לא תהא בך ניאוף בין ביד בין ברגל‬ 10. Babylonian Talmud, Niddah 13b Rab stated: 'A man who wilfully causes erection should be placed under the ban'. But why did he not say, 'This is forbidden'? Because the man merely incites his evil inclination against himself. R. Ammi, however, stated: He is called a renegade, because such is the art of the evil inclination: Today it incites man to do one wrong thing, and tomorrow it incites him to worship idols and he proceeds to worship them. There are others who read: R. Ammi stated, He who excites himself by lustful thoughts will not be allowed to enter the division of the Holy One, blessed be He. For here it is written, Was evil in the sight of the Lord, and elsewhere it is written, For Thou art not a God that hath pleasure in wickedness; evil shall not sojourn with Thee. R. Eleazar stated: Who are referred to in the Scriptural text, Your hands are full of blood? Those that commit masturbation with their hands. It was taught at the school of R. Ishmael, Thou shalt not commit adultery implies, Thou shalt not practise masturbation either with hand or with foot.

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