Table of Contents
Copyright Information and Disclaimer This book is copyright 2012 with all rights reserved. It is illegal to copy, distribute, or create derivative works from this book in whole or in part or to contribute to the copying, distribution, or creating of derivative works of this book… this isn’t professional, legal or personal advice… it’s our opinions and intended for your personal entertainment only. You are solely responsible for any actions you take and we’re not responsible for anything you decide to do in your life. Before you read any page beyond this one, you agree to the following: “©2012, All Rights Reserved. You do not have permission to copy, distribute, sell, or create derivative works from this book or our website without permission from A New Mode, Inc. through express written permission from the authors, Eric Charles and Sabrina Alexis. By reading any of the contents of this book beyond this page, you agree to the following: You understand that the information contained on this page and in this book is an opinion, and it should be used for personal entertainment purposes only. You are responsible for your own behavior, and none of this book is to be considered legal or personal advice.” Now let’s move on to the fun stuff…
Prologue ............................................................................ 1 Introduction ...................................................................... 4 CHAPTER 1: The Mindset And Behaviors That Kill A Relationship .................................................................... 16 WHAT MEN CONSIDER NEEDY BEHAVIOR ........................................................................ 16 HOW NEEDINESS RUINS A RELATIONSHIP........................................................................ 21 HOW TO PREVENT NEEDINESS (AND BE THE WOMAN MEN CAN’T RESIST) ………….. 25 HOW TO REDEEM YOURSELF FROM NEEDY BEHAVIOR ................................................ 32
CHAPTER 2: When Seemingly Good Connection/ Relationship Goes Bad ..................................................... 38 WHY DIDN’T HE TEXT BACK? ............................................................................................... 38 WHY DIDN’T HE VANISH? ..................................................................................................... 45 WHEN A GUY ACTS DISTANT AND WITHDRAWS............................................................... 53
CHAPTER 3: When You Don’t Know How He Feels About You .................................................................................. 64 HOW TO KNOW IF A GUY LIKES YOU .................................................................................. 64 HOW TO KNOW IF HE LOVES YOU ....................................................................................... 69 HOW TO KNOW IF HE’S PLAYING YOU AND/OR JUST WANTS SEX …………………………. 73
CHAPTER 4: When A Guy Won’t Put A Label (Or A Ring) On It ...................................................................................... 81 WHEN A GUY WON’T CALL YOU HIS GIRLFRIEND............................................................ 82 WHEN HE WON’T COMMIT ON FACEBOOK ........................................................................ 93 WHEN HE ISN’T PROPOSING ................................................................................................ 95
CHAPTER 5: Dealing With A Guy With Baggage ............. 103 DEALING WITH A GUY WHO LOST HIS JOB ..................................................................... 103 DATING A GUY ON THE REBOUND .................................................................................... 107 DATING A GUY WITH “EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE” ............................................................... 113 WHEN TO WALK AWAY ......................................................................................................... 119
CHAPTER 6: How To Get Him To Treat You Better And Value You More ............................................................. 122 A LITTLE APPRECATION GOES A LONG WAY ................................................................... 122 BE THE PRIZE AND HE WILL DO WHATEVER HE CAN TO WIN YOU OVER ……………. 128
BONUS FOOTAGE .......................................................... 135 Final Thoughts ............................................................... 136
FREE CHAPTER INTRO From Sabrina Once upon a time, long before A New Mode even existed, I was just like you - an amazing woman with plenty to offer who just couldn’t seem to get the love I wanted. I wanted to have an amazing relationship with an amazing guy, a guy who loved and appreciated me for exactly who I was, but it just never panned out. It wasn’t that I couldn’t get a man; it was that I couldn’t seem to make it stick. And even when I did find myself in a relationship, I always felt like I was at the mercy of the guy, like the relationship was a ticking time bomb and the slightest movement on my part would set it off and send him running for cover. I could never really enjoy my relationships because I was crippled by the fear of everything coming apart. The real kicker for me was when the guy who I considered to be the love of my life left me for someone else. Not only that, this new girl managed to turn him into the guy I always wanted him to be. With me he was distant and confusing, giving me no comfort or security in the relationship. Even though he was with me, I never felt like I had him. I felt like he was always just beyond my grasp and could slip away at any moment. With her, he was Mr. loving and affectionate. He became official with her in a matter of weeks, he posted album after album of the two of them on Facebook. With me it took six months to get him to admit we were in an actual relationship, and being official on Facebook was totally out of the question. At the time it made zero sense to me. I was so good to him, so loving, so kind, why wasn’t he that kind of guy when he was with me? Why
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wasn’t I worthy of his love in the same way she was? Was she better than me? Prettier? Smarter?
The answer is no. The answer is something I didn’t discover until much later. The problem wasn’t that I was unworthy of him, the problem was I didn’t know I was worthy of having an amazing relationship. Instead, I accepted whatever scraps he was willing to give, and as a result, all I got were scraps. This guy wasn’t the only one who broke my heart, there were others who dented it along the way. Time after time I just felt so helpless and confused. I just wanted to understand what I was doing wrong and how I could attain a happy relationship with a guy I could just be myself around. I felt so lost and alone, two of the worst feelings there are in this life. I would buy books on relationships and read any article I could get my hands on, but the answers I was desperately seeking were never found. What I didn't realize at the time was one fundamental secret about how men operate, an understanding that put an end to my confusion by making me realize that men really aren’t so complicated. From there, relationships became easy, fun, and effortless. Once I spread the gospel onto my friends and watched as their relationships completely transformed as well. My years of heartache instilled an overwhelming desire to create a resource where women could get answers to all their dating dilemmas. And not just any answers—real, honest, no-nonsense answers that cut straight to the heart of the matter. I teamed up with dating coach Eric Charles in 2008 to launch A New Mode and within a few short months our readership exploded on account of our relationship content.
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In time, we decided that blog articles wouldn’t be enough to help our readers get the relationships they were seeking….we needed to get it all down in a book so they could really learn the system inside out. And this is how “He’s Not That Complicated: How to Crack a Man’s Romantic Code to Get the Relationship you Want” was born. With this book, our mission was to break down the most common relationship issues and identify why they happen and how to avoid them. When you understand how men operate and what a relationship looks like from a male’s perspective, you will know exactly how to get the relationship you’ve always wanted. Without further adieu, I hope you enjoy this free chapter from the book.
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CHAPTER 2: When a Seemingly Good Connection/Relationship Goes Bad “Before you fall in love, make sure there is someone there to catch you.” – Anonymous The most common types of questions boil down to amateur detective work on why a guy didn’t do what the girl wanted him to do. The questions take on different forms, but ultimately the pattern is this: A girl likes a guy... he shows some kind of signal that he might like her... a courtship of sorts ensues and things seem to be going great, but then… he starts to withdraw. As soon as this happens, the poor girl becomes overwhelmed with self-doubt and confusion about the guy and might start chasing him and hunting him down to get some answers…which causes him to withdraw even further. The ultimate question comes down to this: "I thought he liked me, what happened?" We get flooded with e-mails about how some guy didn’t text back or didn’t call or didn’t set his Facebook status to say “In a relationship.” The majority of these issues could be resolved by doing one simple thing: backing off. When you take a few steps backward, it gives him the space to move a few steps forward and put forth a little more effort to win you over. Keep going and you’ll see what we mean.
WHY DIDN’T HE TEXT BACK? Using a guy’s text message habits as a litmus test for your relationship status seems to be the norm these days (even though it’s completely and utterly arbitrary, but we’ll get to that later).
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If a guy doesn’t text a girl back it’s usually for one of the following reasons: 1. He’s not that into her 2. He’s busy 3. She’s being needy and he doesn’t want to deal with it 4. He didn’t have his phone nearby 5. He’s hanging out with another girl First and foremost, do not try to fix the behavior with why didn’t yous (Why didn’t you call? Why didn’t you tell me you might be late? Why didn’t you text back sooner?), nothing along those lines! You might think you’re drawing a line in the sand, but he sees it as something else entirely: neediness. Here are a few tips to help you keep a clear head and an objective perspective if you find yourself in this sort of situation: Examine the Circumstance We live in an ADD culture and when a guy doesn’t text back immediately, it’s most likely because he’s busy. Guys tend to be single-minded in what they’re doing and tend to focus on meeting one objective at a time. If a guy is busy, the last thing he wants is to be interrupted over and over again with text messages and the burden of having to respond right away. Usually, what started out as something innocent (him being busy) turns into unnecessary drama (you overreacting and seeing it as a sign that the relationship is in trouble). Before you get all riled up about his texting habits and what it means, examine the circumstances. If he disappears when you're in the middle of making plans and things start to get complicated (you say you’re busy this day, he’s busy on that day, you’re free after eight, he can only do before seven), then he probably got distracted
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somewhere along the way and is directing his attention elsewhere. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to see you; he was probably in the middle of something else and planned on getting back to you when he could focus and didn’t feel the need to text further at that exact moment since you guys were going around in circles anyway. He may also go silent if you’re having one of those texting-but-nottalking-about-anything conversations (How are you?...Good, you?...Good, work is stressing me out…Same, today has been nonstop…Same here…). Guys are very goal-oriented and oftentimes they’ll just get distracted and not feel the need to text further unless it’s for a specific purpose. Men are not women, shocking right? While most women can effectively juggle a minimum of five things at a time, men have enough trouble focusing on one thing at a time. Just because texting while you’re in the middle of a million other things comes easily to you doesn’t mean it’s the same for him. Women are naturally good at multi-tasking; most men are not. Remember this and cut him some slack when he takes longer than you would to respond. We can never really know what’s going on in someone else’s head. When it comes to this whole texting issue (and by the way, most guys have no idea how crazy this whole texting/calling regularly thing is for girls, none!), trying to get to the why is an exercise in futility. A much more effective use of your time is to focus on how you react to the situation. The Best Reaction Is No Reaction When you stop reacting to things automatically, you gain awareness of the situation. You will stop getting lost in emotions that don’t help you and will gain a clearer perspective on the best way to respond (if the situation even warrants a response). When you are unreactive, you get to choose the best move. When you are able to see things
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from a more objective standpoint, you’ll realize that him not texting you back promptly isn’t that big of a deal. Rather than getting consumed with fury when he takes a while to respond, just shift your focus and do something else. And whatever you do, don’t wait on him. People tend to see how much they can get away with. If you’re always available to a guy, he’ll treat you like an option rather than a priority. If you are selectively available and only act as accommodating as he is to you, you will get the respect and “good behavior” you’re looking for. This isn’t just a guy thing, it’s a human thing – we value only what we have to work for. Or, put differently, we value the things that aren’t guaranteed or freely available to us unless we earn them. When trying to figure out the appropriate response to certain situations, it’s helpful to think about the way you interact with your friends. If you text one of your friends asking what she’s up to that night and don’t hear back from her for a few hours, do you go into panic mode and assume she no longer cares about you? Do you analyze the last text you sent her, searching for hidden clues to tell you what you did wrong? Do you feel angry and throw your hands up with an exasperated I just don’t get it!? Probably not. Chances are you don’t even notice how long she takes to answer your text. And if you do, you probably assume she’s busy or doesn’t have her phone handy. Wouldn’t life be so much easier if you could respond in the same calm and collected manner when a guy you like takes a while to text back? Well then there you go! The choice is up to you.
Remember, this doesn’t make you a pushover or a doormat. It makes you a confident woman who doesn’t need a guy to text her every five minutes in order to know he really cares about her.
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Assume He Likes You If you assume he likes you, you remove the fear and the anxiety that stems from this whole “why didn’t he text me back?” conundrum. He likes you. You know he does (or at least, you’re doing a good job convincing yourself he does!), so what is there to worry about? People who assume other people like them are more likable. The same is true for people who assume others don’t like them: if you believe you are unlikable, people will be more likely to dislike you. Sure, it may seem a little delusional to force yourself into believing the other person feels the way you want them to feel, but the truth is that we do it all the time anyway. The trouble is most people automatically assume the worst and look for signs that point to the outcome they don’t want. If you’re going to make any assumptions, you may as well go with the one that serves you instead of one that guarantees failure. Be Complete One of the best things you can do is make sure that you have a full and enjoyable life. When your life is meaningful and full of friends, fun, and fulfillment, you won’t fall into the trap of obsessing when that next text is going to come or if he called or not; you’ll be too busy enjoying the rest of your life. If you are smothering a guy with needing him to reassure you and text you back constantly, you will drive him away. The right move in this situation is to back off, keep your life filled with fun and exciting options, and give him space to put in the effort and pursue you. This isn’t being manipulative – guys actually like to pursue women (to a point) and they appreciate having the space to do so.
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What It Looks Like Marissa and Luke had been seeing each other for a few months and while things were going well, Marissa was growing increasingly frustrated by Luke’s texting habits. Luke would often go MIA when they were in the middle of making plans and while she often accommodated his flakiness, she was getting sick of telling her friends, “Oh, I can’t commit to anything this weekend because I might have plans with Luke, still waiting to hear back…” She called him out on it a few times and while he would apologize for “leaving her hanging,” the problem persisted. Luke was simply a bad texter, some people are just born that way. He didn’t mean to do it; he wasn’t intentionally trying to piss her off; he just didn’t have any sort of substantial motivation to change this ingrained behavior. By waiting around for him to respond and being so accommodating to his schedule, Marissa was perpetuating the very problem she was so steadfastly fighting against. Eventually, Marissa decided enough was enough. One week she made tentative plans with Luke to do something that coming Saturday. True to form, he didn’t finalize anything and simply stopped texting after they decided “maybe we’ll do something on Saturday.” Marissa knew if she pressed him to make a definite plan he would just give her vague answers (“I may have to work, I’ll let you know,” “My friend might be coming to town, not sure yet, I’ll keep you posted”), so when he didn’t lock down something by the end of the week, she made other plans. That Saturday, Luke texted her at around 5 p.m. asking what time they were meeting and was stunned when she said she couldn’t see him because she made plans with her girlfriends. “What do you mean you have other plans? We were supposed to do something tonight.”
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“Well you said you might be free, but we never decided on anything concrete, so I assumed it was a no go. So sorry for the mix up, have a fun night!” Luke stayed home that night twiddling his thumbs and torturing himself with thoughts of how many guys were hitting on his girl at that exact moment. From then on, he never left her hanging and was sure to make definite plans in advance. When He Goes from Texting A Lot…to Nothing There are some situations where a guy is a horrible texter from the start (like Luke), and other cases where his texting habits slowly disintegrate over time. In the beginning, he’s a texting machine. After a month or two, not so much. He’ll text here and there, but nowhere near his texting glory days. The problem is not that you are doing something inherently wrong to cause him to text less frequently. The problem is that it’s not sustainable. Texting constantly is—to put it bluntly—a pain in the rear for most guys. In the beginning of a relationship, it’s natural for the guy to try to win you over and to do whatever he can to keep your attention on him. And what better way to insert himself into your mind than by texting you throughout the day? Once things are a bit more established, he may not feel the need to do this anymore. Also, it’s not a realistic, sustainable habit to be constantly texting little messages all day. Guys, lovable as they can be, usually like to use the phone to make a plan and that’s it. They don’t like chitchat if it’s not towards a purpose; it’s just not how they’re wired. A big mistake many women make is assuming the guy no longer feels as strongly for her because he texts less frequently. Texting isn’t
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a barometer for the relationship. The time you spend together, and how meaningful and enjoyable it is, counts much more than the amount of time that has elapsed since his last text. Instead of counting the texts and analyzing the emoticons, put your focus on creating a life that is fulfilling outside of the relationship and a connection that is meaningful within the relationship.
WHY DID HE VANISH? Now this is a frustrating situation if ever there was one. You’re seeing a guy, you think things are rolling right along splendidly, and then suddenly he’s gone, vanished without a trace. You consider for a moment if he might be dead or in a coma, but you notice there has been activity on his Facebook page, so that’s not it. He has just suddenly and abruptly decided he no longer wants to see you and you’re left trying to figure out why. At the end of the day, you don’t know why and there is no way you’ll be able to know for sure. And frankly, it would be a waste of time to try and play detective. There’s no benefit to putting yourself through that agony. It really doesn’t matter why he vanished or what, if anything, broke the camel’s back. The bigger issue here is your emotional state. You’re confused, you’re worried, you’re upset. You’re racking your brain trying to pinpoint the moment it all went wrong. You examine all the possibilities. Is it something I said? Something I did? Something I didn’t do? These emotions are all understandable when someone you care about disappears. The Most Likely Reason… While every situation is different, these disappearing acts usually occur because the guy feels trapped or freaked out by the relationship and finds it easier to just remove himself entirely instead
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of looking you in the face and telling you why he doesn’t want to be with you (does anyone, guy or girl, ever really want to have that conversation? Yes it’s the more dignified approach, but it’s also the more torturous!). This sort of thing doesn’t usually boil down to one particular thing you said or did. It’s probably rooted in an overall vibe that you’re conveying, and that vibe would be none other than our dear friend neediness. If you are absolutely positive that you did not send out any “needy” signals and you were as cool and confident as can be, then he probably has a wife and kids somewhere, or maybe he did lapse into a coma. It’s always one of those three. Guys aren’t anti-relationship. A guy will happily hop into a relationship with a woman who brings out the best in him and makes him feel great about who he is and what he has to offer. If you communicate, even in the slightest way, that a relationship with him is going to be some kind of life preserver or crutch for your emotional stability, he will definitely not want to pursue a relationship with you. His reasoning will most likely be that he’s got enough problems of his own to deal with and the last thing he needs is to take on someone else’s. The best thing you can do is work on yourself and focus on becoming the best version of you. Be the kind of girl that no man would ever dream of leaving without an explanation, or leaving period. When a Guy Vanishes After a Great First Date While not quite as tormenting as when a guy you’ve been seeing pulls a vanishing act, a guy disappearing after an amazing first date is equally puzzling and can do a number on your self-esteem. There are a few possible reasons why a guy might fade into the abyss after a seemingly wonderful first date. Either he wasn’t that into
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you and was just being polite throughout the date, was primarily trying to get laid and decided not to push it any further when you didn’t put out that night, or he didn’t think you were that into him. Possibility #1: He’s not that into you For whatever reason, he may just not be into you. Sometimes the chemistry just isn’t there, it happens. There is also a possibility that you came across as alarmingly eager. Interest and enthusiasm are not the same as over-eagerness. If he feels that you’re unjustifiably eager, he may want to get out of the situation as quickly as possible. On a first date, a guy can usually piece together whether dating you is going to be more of a liability than a good thing for him. He asks about yourself, he gets a sense of how much you enjoy your life and what you do to fill your time. If you pretty much don’t enjoy anything (you don’t really like your friends anymore, you don’t like your job, you don’t like your lifestyle), then he is most likely going to avoid dating you because he doesn’t want to be the guy who has to perk you up. On the other end of the spectrum, talking endlessly about how great your life is reeks of the same emotional baggage. Bragging conveys that you have something to prove and that you’re trying to impress him. You don’t have to tell him about how many guys hit on you when you go out, or how your ex is still so obsessed with you, or how you are the most important person at your job, or how you have the coolest life anyone can imagine. If you carry yourself with confidence, he will assume these things all on his own and then he will be the one trying to win you over. When you make a strong case for your awesomeness, all he’ll see is your insecurities and no guy wants to deal with that. Next time you find yourself asserting your “greatness,” take a step back and remember this phrase: A rich man doesn’t need to tell you he’s rich.
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Suggestion: A useful concept to keep in mind is the self-fulfilling prophecy — that which we believe (or fear) tends to come true when it is focused on earnestly. This concept can have a positive or negative effect on a person’s life, depending on whether they habitually focus on positive outcomes or negative outcomes. If you go into a date full of fear of rejection, you are setting yourself up to get rejected. If you go in with confidence, truly believing this guy will be powerless against your charm and endless virtues, then you pretty much guarantee a second date before you even start the first one. Possibility #2: He doesn’t think you’re into him Guys can be somewhat uneasy when they first meet a woman. It varies from guy to guy (and also depends on how many women he’s dated), but sometimes it takes a bright blinking neon sign in order for a guy to know that a woman likes him. As guys get more experienced with women, they generally know that their best bet is to assume the woman is interested in them and act accordingly (respectfully, of course). However, not all guys come from this place of internal validation and they may look to the woman for signs that indicate she’s attracted. If she is guarded, playing hard-to-get, or just not a very expressive type of person, he may interpret her behavior as meaning she’s not feeling him. Here are a few things that a woman might do unconsciously during a date that signal to a guy she’s not interested: -Texting or talking on the phone during a date. (If you genuinely have to and you’re apologetic, that’s fine. Otherwise, red flag.) -Not smiling. -Not really participating in the conversation. He talks and you respond with something minimal in an indifferent tone. -Actively showing disinterest in talking to him – paying attention to
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other things happening in the room, checking the time, checking for the waiter to hurry up and bring the bill. Confusing Situation Decoded You go on a date with a guy who not only seemed really interested, but actually said, “I’m really into you”…and never hear from him again (or worse, receive an e-mail from him apologizing and saying he didn’t feel a “spark”). You feel utterly confused by this, especially since he poured it on so thick, telling you how beautiful/amazing /smart/incredible/fabulous you are and even ending the date with a passionate kiss. No spark?! The most likely explanation here is that during the date, the guy, for whatever reason, decided that you weren’t the kind of girl he could see himself with. However, he still finds you sexy and his feelings of attraction may overpower the logical side of his brain, hence the sweet nothings. To put it bluntly, he'd be up for having sex with you, but not into having a boyfriend-girlfriend type of relationship with you (which is what he believes you want). This scenario is one of the main reasons women are warned so heavily against sleeping with a guy on the first date. If you sleep with this kind of guy, he’ll never call again and if you don’t sleep with him, he’ll also (most likely) never call again. The moral of the story? Ignore the kisses and compliments and hone in on the actual person. Cheat Sheet On a first date, it’s always best to show interest without seeming over eager. If it sounds confusing, here are some quick tips to get it right: Do: Listen to him, make eye contact, keep your phone tucked away (and if you must check it, do so when you take a bathroom break), ask questions, smile, laugh when he says something funny (or something he thinks is funny), find subtle ways to touch him.
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Don’t: Hang on every single word like a love struck Romeo, agree with everything he says even if you don’t actually agree, brag about yourself, complain about your life, talk about your exes, ask when you’re going to see him again, ask him what he’s looking for relationship-wise, be too aggressive, throw yourself at him. When A Guy Vanishes Before A Great First Date You meet a guy—maybe it’s at a bar, a coffee shop, bookstore, wherever, and it just clicks. You talk about hanging out sometime, swap digits, he says he’ll call…and he never does. Now you’re really flippin’ confused. How can he dump you before taking you out on one stinkin’ date? This premature vanishing act can occur for a million reasons. You never really know with strangers; he might be married with kids or a serial killer on the loose. He may have chickened out or maybe he forgot about you (this is usually the case if you met at a dark bar during the wee hours). You can never really know with absolute certainty why a guy never called, but we can give you helpful pointers to up your odds and help you become more call-able. The best way to pique a man’s interest is to be confident, open, friendly, and able to hold your own in a conversation. Talk to him like you already know him (as opposed to awkward, interview-like, stilted bar conversation). This establishes a connection and comfort level and reduces the risk of him chickening out on making the phone call. Here are a few more handy pointers: 1. Have him picture you hanging out together This is a great psychological trick. When you’re talking to a guy that you’re digging, try to maneuver the conversation toward things you two could do together. Most importantly, get him to picture doing
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whatever this thing is together with you. It doesn’t matter what it is— cooking, grocery shopping, rock climbing, playing Wii Tennis. If he is able to picture the two of you having fun hanging out in the future, it is much more likely to happen. Having someone picture hanging out with you in the future and having fun makes them feel comfortable with the idea, like it’s already happened. Remember, don’t force things along (unless you’re incredibly skillful in conversation), just work it in naturally and gently. 2. Don’t be afraid to be challenging and/or tease him a bit Most men would agree that the women who make the biggest impression are the ones who challenge them in some way. Sometimes they’re challenging by teasing a bit. Sometimes they’re challenging by not going along with everything he’s saying. Sometimes they’re challenging by calling him out on his B.S. When a woman is challenging, in addition to being interesting and fun, it’s an irresistible combination. Being challenging without any other qualities, however, is just plain annoying. When you can mix in a little bit of challenge in addition to your normal charming disposition, you’ll find that a little push goes a long way. A lot of women misinterpret this to mean being difficult, bitchy, or contrarian. That is not what we recommend. The simple trick here is to act like a complete equal who can expand and deepen his experience of life because you don't just go along with everything he says and everything he does. If you do agree with him or want to go along with him on something, by all means do! It would be silly to put up static against what you do want. Don’t be afraid to voice your true feelings and true opinions for fear that the guy will reject you. In reality, this kind of honesty will only deepen your relationship with him (and his respect and attraction towards you).
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3. Enjoy the conversation for what it is Girls who have experienced this sort of disappearing act many times before may end up developing a complex around it, telling themselves things like, “All the guys I actually like never call me back” or, “Guys never call me, what am I doing to scare them away?” This automatically poisons their interactions with men because they will be coming from a place of fear and, you guessed it, neediness. If you go into a conversation fearing that a guy won’t do something that you want him to do, you are bringing neediness into the interaction. That is, you need him to act a certain way otherwise you’ll feel worried/upset/sad/insecure. Neediness is one of those vibes that just repels people, even if it doesn’t manifest in an outwardly obvious way. Neediness from a guy is just as repulsive to a girl as neediness from a girl is to a guy. Think about the guys who go out of their way to impress you before they even really know you. Does this make you feel special? Probably not, it probably creeps you out. So what’s the solution? Enjoy the conversation for what it is. Put your best self forward and if you like him, try to set the stage for a date. 4. Assume he’s going to call No matter what, assume he’s going to call from the start of the interaction and stick to that assumption! Don’t try to get him to give you this assurance by saying something desperate like, “Are you sure you’re gonna call? You promise? You pinky promise?" And don’t think you’re being stealthy by hiding your desperation under a cloak of flirtation with something like, “I bet you always hit on girls and say you’ll call you sneaky little stud you.” No matter how you phrase it, if you try to get some sort of
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guarantee that he’s going to call, you’re telling him that you’re insecure and don’t think you’re good enough for him to call. If you don’t think that about yourself, why should he? 5. Let it be Once you’ve done all that… that’s it. Women set the stage for future heartache (and a whopping headache) when they analyze and obsess over the details. If you don’t hear from him and you did everything we mentioned above, then there were extenuating circumstances that had nothing to do with you (the wife, the kids, the cops on his tail). Your only option at this point is to take a step back and swallow a giant chill pill. Maybe do some yoga, practice meditating, hang out with friends, any distraction is good because the thinking and obsessing will only cause more problems down the road.
WHEN A GUY ACTS DISTANT AND WITHDRAWS Before a guy vanishes, there is often a period of withdrawal. Only he doesn’t seem to experience any withdrawal symptoms. No those are reserved for you (nausea, stomach pains, anxiety, sweaty palms, insomnia). Yes, as he withdraws, you go further into withdrawal. You are a junkie and he is slowly weaning you off the drug known on the streets as Him. This is a critical time when the fate of your relationship is almost entirely under your control. When a guy pulls back, the curtains open, the spotlight is on and it’s shining right down on you. How you react tells him exactly who you are and what kind of girl you will be in a relationship. It might not be true, but it feels pretty darn true to him so he’ll back off, more and more.
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The way you react to him pulling away speaks volumes and is the deciding vote in whether or not this relationship will survive. You are down to your final question and your lifelines have all been used up. Are you sure you want to choose that reaction? Now to be clear, we do not advocate intentionally manipulating your behavior for the sole purpose of getting the guy, that’s just neediness all dressed up. No, if you’re going to survive this inevitable relationship hurdle, you need to genuinely be in the right place emotionally. When a guy starts to pull away, a lot of women hit the rewind button in their minds and think back to a happier time—the beginning. He liked me so much at first, I don’t get it! He told me I was beautiful, that he had never ever met anyone like me, that I was the most magnificent creature to ever walk the earth. Why is he doing this?! Why???!!! We’re gonna get to all of that, but first let’s talk about the things guys say in the beginning of a relationship because this really seems to trip up most women. “But he was so sweet in the beginning, was it a lie?” When a guy says things like, “I’ve never liked a girl so much so soon,” or texts you saying he misses you when you barely know each other, he is not making a declaration of everlasting, undying love for you. He is just saying that at that moment, he feels good about you. However, all emotions are subject to change. Statements like this should be enjoyed, but taken with a grain of salt and not treated as milestones or markers of the quality of your relationship. Not in the beginning, at least. The things a guy says in the early stages of a relationship are also often rooted in his own insecurity. That may be hard to believe, but it’s true. He doesn’t know whether or not you actually like him or if
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you are attracted to him, so he may throw things out there just to see how you respond and to get a read on the relationship potential. Everyone wants to be liked; it’s a great feeling for both guys and girls. However, it’s important to keep in mind that all that mushy stuff he piles on in the beginning is primarily his way of hooking you in and seeing where you stand, not necessarily his way of expressing his feelings. It’s not that he doesn’t feel anything for you or that he won’t feel anything for you, but at this early phase, it’s all just poetry. It will be real when both of you are convinced that you like each other and you are both able to drop your guards and get to know each other on a more real and personal level, one that doesn’t involve reading the proverbial signs. When he feels that there is a real connection between the two of you, when he knows that you like him back and you both enjoy your time together, that is when things will take on a more meaningful shape. When the Sweet Talk Stops He’s being all sweet and it’s working, you start to really like him… and then there’s a palpable shift. This is usually the point where the guy realizes that you really like him, he has you, and he doesn’t have to worry whether or not he could lose you anymore. Things are probably starting to get comfortable—you make plans regularly, you’re in contact more frequently, and a relationship seems just around the corner. While you might start getting really excited by this prospect, this particular guy has probably gotten freaked out. At this point, he’s afraid everything he said in the beginning led you to believe that you guys are a couple. As a reaction to this fear, he may start acting out to show you that this is not the case. He cancels plans, he goes MIA
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for days at a time, he acts distant when you guys do speak or hang out. You feel overwhelmed by confusion and yearn for things to go back to the way they were. At the root of it, the same sense of insecurity that made him obsessed with finding out if you like him is now scaring him into thinking that you’re going to take his freedom away. This is a guy thing; he might be completely faithful to you in every way, but he still wants to feel like he can do whatever he wants. What may seem like a sudden loss of interest is really just his way of holding onto his freedom. It doesn’t mean he’s not into you anymore; the reason he’ll send those sweet texts from time to time is to make sure you know he’s still interested. His behavior is really his way of trying to slow things down. The way you respond determines whether they ever pick back up. The Freak Out Phase The Freak Out Phase usually occurs after a relationship hits some sort of milestone. This can be something substantial, like becoming “official,” or something subtle, like a sense that the relationship is deepening. As soon as this happens, an alarm bell may go off in a man’s mind, scaring him into thinking that he’s about to lose his freedom and independence. As a reaction, he may withdraw a bit. The way you respond during this time is critical. If you start getting on his case (Why didn’t you call? Where have you been? Why are you being so shady?), he will start to feel trapped and suffocated and will pull away even more. If you keep badgering him, he will no longer see you as a prize he needs to win over, he will see you as a desperate and clingy pest. When you take his actions personally and assume he’s withdrawing because of something you said or did, you will start acting all needy and insecure, suffocating the guy with your fears and
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concerns. When this happens, his mind goes, SEE!! I told you you're losing your freedom! Look at how she's all on top of you now! Not giving you even an ounce of space or freedom for yourself! Run Forrest, run! When a guy asks for space, this is what usually happens: 1. Guy, for whatever reason, feels emotionally unbalanced. This could stem from feeling pressured, fear of commitment, or any number of reasons, but something is causing him to feel a little “freaked.” 2. Guy feels he needs to handle his issue and thinks that having girl around will make it much harder for him to figure things out. 3. Guy tells girl he needs space. 4. Girl gives him space, but then starts thinking about what she could have done wrong and tries to figure out what sparked this sudden need for space. 5. Girl’s thinking quickly becomes coated with tremendous insecurity, fear of abandonment, jealousy, a feeling that she screwed up somehow, or that she wasn’t good enough. 6. Girl works herself into such an emotional wreck that she can’t help herself from contacting the guy, hoping to receive reassurance or validation while trying to force things to go back to the way they were pre-freak-out. 7. Guy feels pressured and interrupted, which makes him more emotionally unstable and makes it harder to handle his issues. 8. Guy pulls back further, girl sees this as further confirmation that everything she was fearing is true.
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9. Cycle continues, repeat steps 7, 8 and 9 indefinitely. A guy can withdraw for any number of reasons and it isn’t a phenomenon exclusive to the early stages of a relationship. Guys may also take a step back when they feel that something is wrong in the relationship and they want to get a handle on how they feel about it on their own. What they don’t want is someone hounding them to explain their feelings and actions, especially since they’re not clear on these things themselves. Or maybe there’s nothing going on upstairs and he’s just testing the waters before he emotionally invests himself further… The Testing Phase What many people refer to as the “Testing Phase” is actually more like “the guy showing his true self to see how you will react phase.” Realistically, a guy isn’t always going to act the way he did in the very beginning. In the beginning, he’s trying to win you over. He calls you every day, he takes you out to nice places, and when he’s with you his focus is fully on you. However, this can’t go on forever. There will be times when he can’t constantly check in and eventually, he’s going to have to devote energy and effort to areas in his life outside of you. What may feel like a test or a withdrawal is often just him being his normal self. The way you respond is vital if you want the relationship to live to see another day. If you instantly pounce on him when he takes a while to text back, he may see it as a taste of worse things to come, of more constant questions, of more demands he has to fulfill, and he will head for the hills. If you freak out when he turns his head to look at a pretty girl or if he has a conversation with a female other than you, he’ll see you as insecure (and a little crazy) and there is nothing that turns a man off faster than that (actually neediness can, but neediness and insecurity go hand in hand).
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The best way for a guy to determine if he wants to be with a particular woman is to see how she reacts when she doesn’t get what she wants. Think about it, it’s easy to be with a woman when she’s happy and when you’re doing everything she wants. But that’s not always possible; every man knows that sooner or later the woman is going to be unhappy with something he says or does. For a man, it’s better to know how she’ll react to these things before he gets in too deep. When a guy “tests” you, he’s really looking to see how secure you are and how well you can handle yourself and your emotions. If you lose control, you will confirm his preconceived notion that all women are crazy and too emotional. Keep your cool and handle yourself with dignity and he will think he has finally found the diamond in the rough. At last! A woman who will let me breathe! I’m hanging onto this one and never letting go! It may seem childish or unfair, but before you rage against the whole system, remember that women also have their way of testing men. We may complain about it, but when you get to the heart of it, testing is a good thing. Testing is how we protect ourselves from long-term heartache and eventual heartbreak. If a girl is too insecure to handle having to wait for a text or her guy glancing over at another woman, then she's really not ready for a long-term relationship anyway, plain and simple. An Important Clarification on Testing Many women hear about men "testing" women in relationship and get this idea that men are intentionally doing and saying things to test a woman's response. This is not the case. Men don’t seek out ways to cause drama and promote game playing. A man's ideal world is a world with no drama and no problems.
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The reality is that men are just going along being themselves and when a girl reacts with drama and turmoil, they notice it. Men can't help but take note and remember these things. Guys are typically pretty understanding; they understand that everyone has the occasional bad day. But when they see a pattern of drama, neediness, or insecurity, it becomes a huge red flag. This is all picked up subconsciously; it's not that men are intentionally testing women, it's just that men can't help but pick up on, and remember, bad reactions. The Post-Coital Test The way you behave after you sleep with a guy for the first time is the biggest “test” of all, so if you want this relationship to work, you best not screw it up! After you sleep with a guy, he will often assume that you’re going to get attached and want to be his girlfriend, like, yesterday. It's a powerful stereotype that isn't going anywhere anytime soon, sorry. Again, it comes down to being cool, collected, and confident. Do not start having visions of the future; stop planning those couples vacations in your mind; stop thinking of all the fun things you and your new boyfriend are gonna do. Why stop? Because he's not your boyfriend yet! If you guys are official before you seal the deal in the biblical sense, then just move along at the same pace as before. Don’t assume everything is different now because in his mind it isn’t, he’s just so terrified that it is in your mind. After you sleep with a guy for the first time, he turns into a teeny tiny mouse; even the slightest most minute thing can send him scurrying off to vanish into the nearest hiding place until it’s safe to come out. Remember, play it cool. Act as if everything is the same and do not press him for any sort of reassurance. If he backs off, do not freak
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out. He did not use you, he wasn’t only looking to get laid, he isn’t backing off because he no longer cares. Pulling back a bit might not even be a conscious decision on his part, it may be a manifestation of society’s notion that all women turn into clingy crazies after they do the deed and he might unconsciously be trying to see if it’s true. Keep your cool and he will know you’re a keeper. Just to clarify, a relationship certainly can deepen after sex, especially if you wait until you’ve established a solid connection with your partner. It really varies from one couple to the next, but for all intents and purposes, it’s best to not over-dramatize things and keep moving along at the same pace. If there has been a real shift in the dynamic of the relationship, you will both feel it and the level of commitment and intimacy will intensify organically. The Proof is in the Science A study conducted on a college campus to understand gender preferences when it comes to dating versus casual hookups can better elucidate how men and women typically react after getting physical. Overall, researchers found that men and women prefer traditional dating over random hookups and both genders were in accord on the benefits and risks of dating and hooking up. However, there were some notable differences: Women more than men seem to want a relationship. Women fear, both in dating and hooking up, that they will become emotionally attached to a partner who is not interested in them. Men more than women seem to value independence. Men fear that even in hooking-up relationships, which are supposed to be free of commitments, a woman might seek to establish a relationship.
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Fun Fact: The fears men have about women wanting a relationship right away aren’t fully unwarranted. There are biological reasons why women become more emotionally attached to their lovers than men do. Studies conducted to better understand romantic attachment discovered that orgasms cause both oxytocin and vasopressin to be released from the hypothalamus (the part of the brain that is responsible for pleasure and mating). Although the two neuropeptides associated with continued attachment are secreted in both men and women, oxytocin and vasopressin have a stronger influence on women. What this means is women, much more than men, will get that warm and fuzzy feeling and feel a deep connection to their partner as a result. If you notice your feelings for him have suddenly changed while in a state of postcoital bliss, remember that this “connection” you feel is just an illusion, or rather, the crafty work of some feel-good hormones! How to Get Through the Tests and Freak Outs Surviving the “Freak Out” or “Testing” phases is pretty simple: just play it cool. Guys want to keep the drama in their lives to a minimum. When a girl starts making a guy’s life more uncomfortable, less fun, less enjoyable than before, he’ll try to get away from her as quickly as possible. You don’t want to be the crazy lady he’s running away from, you want to be the awesome girl he can’t stop himself from moving closer to, and you can be! There is nothing more appealing than a confident, happy, selffulfilled woman. Ask any guy and he’ll agree that this sort of a woman is the ultimate dream girl. Unfortunately, such a woman can be very hard to find. This is why it is so unbelievably important to find happiness within yourself before you jump into a relationship. If a guy knows that you don’t need him in order to be happy, he won’t be
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afraid that being with you will mark the end of his days as a free man. If he sees that you have your own life and enjoy doing your own thing, he’ll know that you won’t cause a fuss if he does the same. Remember, a guy is only as invested in you as the effort he puts into the relationship. If he’s not putting forth effort, he’s not investing in the relationship. So don’t try to push him to do anything – live your life and give him the space to come to you. If he does, great, he’s further invested. If he doesn’t, well as they say, there are plenty more fish in the sea. Either way, that’s much better than pushing on him, him pulling away, and you smothering the life out of the relationship. The results can be pretty astounding. If you just back off a bit and let it be, he will suddenly go from mixed-signal-sending-jerk to knight in shining armor. If you don’t believe us, give it a try.
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FREE CHAPTER OUTRO From Sabrina Like what you just read? Well there’s plenty more where that came from, five more chapters to be exact, plus an entertaining introduction, bonus footage, and some final thoughts that will help you move on from the relationship woes of your past and into a better and brighter future, one where you can easily and effortlessly get the love you’ve always wanted. The reason you subscribed to our mailing list and read this free chapter is because you want to understand men and have a happy, fulfilling, amazing relationship with a man who respects and appreciates everything about you. And you want to do it by being yourself, not turning yourself into some stereotypical version of what you think men want. The remaining chapters of the book delve deep into the following areas: - The kinds of behaviors that push men away…. And what draws them in and makes them never want to leave your side. - How to know beyond a shadow of a doubt if a guy likes or loves you - The real reason men are resistant to commitment and marriage (forget what you've been told, it's not what you think!) - How to get him to be more attentive and romantic….and how to do it in a way that makes him want to give you everything and be the best partner possible - What mean really want from a relationship (it’s not the same thing that women want) - How to reach him deeply, even if he's withdrawing, acting distant, or you think it's too late
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- Why guys keep you waiting by the phone…and how to guarantee he calls or texts promptly - ….and pretty much everything you’ve ever wanted to know about men and relationships. If you read our entire book, you can have that and more. You can be the woman who gets the amazing guy and keeps him captivated and you can do it by being yourself. Our goal in writing this book was two-fold: - We wanted to help you understand how men think so you can be done with the days of banging your head against the table and analyzing what he said and what it means - We wanted you to get what you deserve- a loving, mutually fulfilling relationship with a man who adores you. With our articles, we’ve given you bite-sized pieces to build a better relationship. With the book, we’ve put all the pieces into place and map out a full picture of what you need to know and what you need to do to get the relationship you want, ASAP! The best part? It really isn’t that complicated to have these things. Once you know how men operate, you’ll understand exactly where you’ve gone wrong in the past and will know how to be the kind of woman who gets and keeps the guy, without any stress, worry, fear, or endless hours of analyzing his behavior with your girlfriends. If you read the full book, you will have complete clarity over your current relationship issues as well as past relationships that left you devastated and thoroughly confused. You will also gain confidence in yourself, you will learn to see what it is you have to offer and how to use those assets to their fullest potential so you can get everything you’ve ever wanted out of life, not to mention, out of your relationships.
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But don’t just listen to me. Here are reviews from girls who have read the book: Reader Reviews: Just finished your book, loved it and felt it was worth every penny and more....to the ANM audience that hasn't purchased this yet, I highly recommend it! There's a lot of info that has been broken down in easy to read format with cheat sheets for go-to reference. If you're like me, you won't be able to put this down from start to finish. Now I feel like I have a better focus and more clearly defined purpose into the type of relationship I've always wanted to have.....I knew the two of you wouldn't disappoint. – Joanne Just wanted to congratulate you guys on this great book. There were a lot of "Oh my god! This was exactly what I did!" and "Dear god, I wish I had known all of this sooner!" moments. Like your articles on ANM, this book is very VERY helpful. I've learned a lot and I am certain I'll be able to apply everything I've learned from you guys in my next relationship. Thank you guys. You both rock! – Ika Koeck So finally I read your book and I have to say it is brilliant and to the point. I read it in one sitting because I couldn't put it down. You systematically addressed all the most crucial issues and laid it out clearly and concisely. I hope there will be another in the future! – Dolores Reading this book has changed my life. No joke! It was eye-opening in so many ways. I was able to pinpoint exactly where things have gone wrong in all my past relationships. At times it made me feel foolish because I realized I was making the same mistakes over and over. However, I finally have answers. I don’t have that “what happened?!” feelings anymore. I know I’ll be rereading this again and again.
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– Brittany Put simply … thank you! This book has been enlightening and most importantly explains why people think or react in a certain way. The ‘final thoughts’ page perfectly sums up how I feel … ready to close the past and excited to look to the future with a whole new, far less complicated, outlook. – Donna I love how this book is different from many relationship books out there, it does give you the knowledge and understanding, not just some clichés and bitchy advice. Unlike others it does not teach you to play some kind of role, manipulate, or change yourself completely to get what you want. It teaches you to understand men and maybe even more importantly, yourself. I would say one just needs an open mind, happy attitude, and this book to find the love they want. – Lana I bought the book last night and I could not put it down. I seriously read the whole thing in one sitting!! I loved it, this is probably the best advice I have ever read from a dating book. You have certainly opened my eyes to a few things and gave me a reminder of my self worth. Thank you!!!!! This book is going to help so many people! – Heather
All right, enough talk, time to take some action and get the results you want! The full book can be purchased here http://www.anewmode.com/hes-not-that-complicated-book/ And once you finish it, please e-mail us with your feedback. We work very hard to give our readers exactly what they want, so don’t be shy!
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Table of Contents What is the Venus Factor............................................................................................................................4 Your New Venus Family........................................................................................................................9 Balance................................................................................................................................................12 Gender Differences In Metabolism..........................................................................................................14 Size Difference....................................................................................................................................14 Body Composition...............................................................................................................................15 Leptin...................................................................................................................................................18 Nutrition Science......................................................................................................................................24 Eat-Up Days vs Cheat Days................................................................................................................24 Disinhibited Eating – 'Good Food' vs 'Bad Food' Thinking Must Go.................................................27 Hot Button Foods................................................................................................................................30 What Should I eat?..............................................................................................................................31 Soy.......................................................................................................................................................31 Sugar....................................................................................................................................................31 Artificial Sweeteners...........................................................................................................................32 Beverages............................................................................................................................................33 Carbohydrates AKA "Carbs" - 4 calories per gram.............................................................................35 Fats - 9 calories per gram....................................................................................................................36 Protein - 4 calories per gram...............................................................................................................37 Meal Timing and Meal Frequency......................................................................................................38 Ego Depletion......................................................................................................................................40 A special note about coffee..................................................................................................................42 Calories.................................................................................................................................................... 44 Deficit vs Maintenance........................................................................................................................44 Metabolic Rates...................................................................................................................................46 Tapering Up Calories...........................................................................................................................49 Weight vs Shape.......................................................................................................................................51 Thinner Isn’t the Only Answer............................................................................................................53 What Determines Your Shape?............................................................................................................54 2
The Golden Proportion........................................................................................................................57 The Venus Index Measurements.............................................................................................................. 59 Ideal Waist (Height-to-Waist Ratio)....................................................................................................60 Waist-to-Hip Ratio (WHR)..................................................................................................................63 Shoulder-to-Waist Ratio......................................................................................................................65 How to Take Your Measurements.......................................................................................................67 Venus Index Measurement Example Guide........................................................................................68 Metabolic Flexibility & Adaptability..................................................................................................71 12-Week Undulating Metabolic Override Program.................................................................................72 Weeks 1-2 : 5 & 1 Protocol.................................................................................................................72 Weeks 3-4 : Undulation #1 - High Fat 2&1 protocol..........................................................................72 Weeks 5-6 : 5 & 1 Protocol.................................................................................................................73 Weeks 7-8 : Undulation #2 - High Protein 2&1 Protocol...................................................................73 Weeks 9-10 : 5 & 1 Protocol...............................................................................................................73 Weeks 11-12 : Undulation #3 High Carb 2&1 Protocol......................................................................74 The Venus Factor Virtual Nutritionist...................................................................................................... 76 Using The Venus Factor Virtual Nutritionist.......................................................................................76 Inputs...................................................................................................................................................77 Outputs................................................................................................................................................78 Supplements ............................................................................................................................................81 References................................................................................................................................................84
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What is the Venus Factor The Venus Factor is a complete weight loss and body re-shaping system. The components that make up the entire system are as follows: 1. Main diet and weight loss manual (this document). 2. The 12-week workout system - this includes a library of instructional exercise videos and complete 12-week workout system that can be done at home or in a gym. 3. The Venus Factor Virtual Nutritionist - this is a software app that calculates your specific calorie and protein requirements for weight loss specific to your body measurements. 4. The Venus Community - A private online community exclusive for Venus Factor members only. You can meet and learn from other Venus members, start your own personal blog within the community, or just browse other members' blogs and forum for information. Your level of involvement is your choice. 5. The Venus Index Podcast - Where you can listen to other Venus members tell their weight loss success stories. Every year we host 3 transformation contests and I interview all the winners to get the real inside story on how they used the Venus Factor system to fit their life and challenges to achieve their weight loss and body shape goals.
Theoretically you can lose all unwanted weight using only the dietary tools you will find here. In other words, if you never want to workout you don't really have to. However I rarely recommend this approach as your results will be both accelerated and optimized with the addition of physical activity. This is why we've included the 12-week Venus Factor workout system for you. Getting in shape, or rather, changing the size and shape of your body is a two part process.
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Part 1 is weight loss and fat removal. This part is almost entirely dictated by your nutrition and diet. You can lose all the weight and fat that you want if you have the right dietary approach. This system provides that dietary approach not only to lose the fat but also to keep it off. This second point about 'keeping it off' cannot be stressed enough. Many different diet programs can cause temporary weight loss. However the methods of most diets is to 'crash' you into the weight loss, putting your hormonal, psychological, and physical systems out of balance which leads to a stalling of weight loss and eventual rebound weight gain. This weight regain pushes your system even further out of balance. We've studied this problem and developed a solution that allows for weight loss without crashing and most importantly without the rebound weight gain. This system should be the last one you ever need as it's designed to produce as close to permanent weight loss as possible.
Part 2 is body and muscle shaping and toning. You have a unique body structure and shape that is largely determined by two factors: i) the location and amount of fat you have on your body ii) the shape and size of your muscles
And, while it is true that much of your natural shape comes from your genetics much of the way you store fat and build muscle is within your control. We've already discussed that the diet portion of this system will be used to remove the fat off of your body (nutrition and diet component). The second part of this system is how you can change the shape of your body by changing the shape and tone of your muscles (workout component). Some people will remove the fat from their body and be perfectly happy with the natural shape and tone of their muscles and will not want to, or need to do any exercising for muscle tone or shape. In my experience this is less common as most women want to work on certain areas of their body.
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The look and shape of your body is entirely within your control to change as you wish. You can take fat off where you want, and you can shape and tone any muscles you want. For example many of our past successful Venus's have lost all the body fat they wanted to lose, and then turned their focus to working on specific muscles to complement their new leaner form. Many found that they wanted to work on building their butt, and our program provides the tools to do this. Others find that once they lost their weight they needed to work on their shoulders and arms citing that they already had strong firm legs but needed their upper body to come into balance. Others still wanted a whole body workout that provides balance, shape and muscle tone to their entire figure. All cases can easily be done with this program. Overall the Venus Factor system is designed to be the simplest approach possible to achieving fat loss while also providing a workout program for developing and shaping muscle in a manner that is specific to a woman's body. A major consideration that went into the production of this program was practicality. In other words, this program had to also fit within a busy modern life. I fully believe you can have the body you want without having to sacrifice your social life to get it. After all, what would be the point of getting into great shape if you can never reap the social benefits of that new shape!? Too many trainers and fitness coaches teach their clients to treat their diet and workout like a 'second job'. Are you kidding me?! I don't even want a 'first job' let alone a second one! The vast majority of women who want to lose weight simply do not have 6 to 8 extra hours a day to dedicate to this endeavour. Heck, for most people even carving out 1 hour takes some rearranging and schedule juggling.
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My view of the Venus Factor is this: The Venus Factor System is the essential diet and fitness tools you need to get the body you want, while still being able to enjoy your life to its fullest. My goal with this program is to simplify the process rather than overcomplicate it. No doubt if you tried other diet or workout programs you already have many different diet and fitness 'rules' floating around in your head that you will not see come up in this program. In fact one of your first challenges will be accepting how simple this program really is. And I can assure you it's pretty simple. At this time it's worth making a distinction between 'simple' and 'easy'. This program just like any other diet or fitness program will have some challenges for you, some won't necessarily feel 'easy' but they will be 'simple'. For example, a push up is a 'simple' movement, but it may not necessarily feel 'easy' the first time you try it. Likewise eating a bit less sugar or fat is a 'simple' concept, but it may not feel 'easy' in the moment. So to be clear I've made this as 'simple' as possible, but sometimes it won't necessarily feel 'easy'.
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Beth Hill – The Venus Mindset I do want to offer a huge thank you to YOU! It was discovering YOU through MFP that led me to the Venus Index and I haven't looked back. You have created such a beautiful transformation and I am simply in awe of you! My 12 weeks ends today and I am so thrilled with the changes that have occurred in my life - physically, emotionally, and spiritually! As a tall woman, my biggest fear was always becoming big and tall. It has now happened twice in the recent years and it feels absolutely horrible. At this point in my life, I truly don't see it ever happening again. I have no reservations and am committed to going forward! Beth Hill
Like everyone else, I have tried it all and struggled to make anything work
long term. VI is the answer I have been looking for. It's not prepackaged. It's not a pharmaceutical secret. It's not a list of rules. It's not a temporary fix. It's not a fraud preying on human weakness for financial gain. It is the ease of eating the foods I choose to eat on a smaller scale and simply challenging my muscles more and more. It is not eating when I'm not hungry and budgeting my calories for when I do want to eat. It is not fitness for the physically fit - it is fitness to create fitness. It is a personal commitment with no strings attached.
The biggest surprise for me has been my spiritual and emotional transformation. I am experiencing and enjoying an unfamiliar joy - I can only describe it as being "high on life!" I am not sad, angry, grumpy or tired anymore. My self-esteem, motivation, and optimism have been recharged. I am Beth again and that feels really good. I truly feel that the best years of my life are ahead of me. The added benefit of connecting with and developing friendships with so many likeminded women on VI has been an added bonus and such a blessing. You led me to an amazing place Roberta and, because of that YOU will always be a part of my story. Thanks so much! You are loved! Beth
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Your New Venus Family I'm writing this part to make sure you're going into this program with open honest eyes about what it is and what you can expect from it. You can have it all, you can lose all the weight and fat you've ever hoped for and you can change the look and shape of your body however you wish. And one of the best ways to get started is to talk to the Venus's in the community. You can talk to many of our previous Venus transformation contest winners in the community and learn exactly how they did it. They'll be more than happy to share. You can also listen to their podcast interviews and absorb all of their insight and wisdom of how they managed to overcome their own personal struggles along the way to getting their Venus body. Everyone will have their own personal path to follow and I guarantee there is a Venus who has already done it that can help you with your personal challenges. Venus members are always willing to help, many of the previous successful Venus's will take new Venus's under their wing and coach them through the process. Some form tight bonds with a few others and create txt messaging accountability friendships. Others find local Venus's in their area and actually meet each other in person to chat about the process, go for walks together and even workout together. I've personally travelled to meet up with different Venus's and we've organized meet ups in various locations (Las Vegas being a crowd favorite) and there is always another meet up around the corner. In short, there is a wealth of experience, information, support, and friendship waiting for you in the Venus community, all you need to do is introduce yourself and join the discussion. If you're not a 'forum user' then you can just poke around and read for awhile, no need to start chatting if you're not 100% comfortable at first. The women of the Venus community are your new partners and team that will support you throughout the process of getting to your weight loss and fitness goals. Many have built lasting friendships that have transcended the community and turned into real life friendships. The community is waiting with open arms for you whenever you're ready to be a part of it. And to be clear, this is a secure community that is only available to active Venus Factor members, nobody else can read or access it.
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Podcast Interviews As I mentioned already, most of our past Venus transformation success stories have done a podcast interview with me to reveal exactly how they achieved their weight loss and body shaping goals. There is priceless information in each of these interviews and you can listen to them all for free just by visiting our blog at www.venusindex.com You can also find the podcast on itunes or whatever podcast aggregator you use by searching for 'venusindex'.
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Roberta Saum - The Venus Mindset To me the Venus Mindset is a lifestyle that is about taking ownership and responsibility for my own health. It is a belief that I can be healthy, lean, fit, muscular, and athletic within a mostly sedentary society that contains an overabundance of food. The odds of achieving this are against us in our society so it takes a strong and aggressive mindset to achieve this level of fitness and keep it. It is a lifelong mindset. You need to be an outlier and do things differently from everyone else. The Venus Ideal goals were mostly part of the weight loss phase and gave me the weight range and shoulder and waist circumference to shoot for. Having a realistic and tangible goal was a key for staying on track and knowing I was headed in the
Roberta Saum
right direction. It’s time to forget about what my scale weight is. It’s time to not worry about what my waist measurement is. It’s time to enjoy the new me and the new clothes that still fit. It’s time to enjoy being physically active and participate more in enjoying life. It’s time to listen to what everyone in my family and society is telling me, “Wow you have an amazing physique and are so fit and healthy. How did you do that?” I’m learning to enjoy life a little more. This is something I can do for the rest of my life. It’s my new life. It’s the Venus life.
Roberta Saum
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Balance This program is also about balance, both internally and externally. We fully expect you to have a balanced life between career/school, family, friendships, relationships, hobbies and getting the body you want. It's not an either/or situation. You should not, and will not have to put your life on hold to change your body. Any program that teaches you this sort of extreme action is doing something (and likely many) things wrong.
Internal & External Balance The concept of balance starts with internal balance of your body from a metabolic and hormonal level, extending to a balance of your bodyfat levels and muscle, to a balance of your upper body and lower body proportions. I want you to get away from extreme thinking in black and white terms. There is too much of this sort of thinking in diet and fitness and it leads to significant stress over the process and I believe this stress is the root of the failure that most women experience from dieting. You'll find that I leave out many diet and fitness industry 'rules' about eating because I've learned they're simply not necessary and add stress to a process that is already stressful enough. What is left in this program are the essentials, just the tools that you need to succeed. In the following section you'll learn about the major gender differences in metabolism and body composition, and why the Venus Factor is designed for women specifically. You'll see that when the systems of your body are out of balance it leads to difficulty losing weight. From there I'll explain how the program works to correct any imbalance and put you back in an optimal state to both lose your unwanted bodyfat and keep it off.
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Res from the UK As a 30 year old working mother I do not have time to waste. I do not have room in my head or my schedule for a hundred complicated diet and fitness mantras with which to punish myself on a 24/7 basis. At this point you may well say, “Then you can forget about getting a better body. THAT’S a job in of itself!” Hey, I’m a modern woman and we like to ‘have it all’ right? Luckily with Venus this
Res from the UK
becomes a realistic possibility.
I joined Venus in January 2013. In 4 short months, I have achieved my best look since pre-pregnancy, all whilst holding down two clinical placements and finishing my graduate studies with a First. How did I do it? *Clears throat* easily. Yes, truly. I worked out no more than 3 times a week, I did zero cardio. In truth I hung out like the Venus de Milo herself spending weekends in Paris, Rome and London, sampling all the delicious fare these places have to offer. In short I lived my life. The diet travels. For me the Venus Mindset is one of true adaptability. The Venus solutions become a part of your life, they don’t take over. Venus is not a one trick pony. I may be high maintenance but the diet and programs are not. There was no fuss, no nightly planning, and no ‘falling off’ the diet. There was really no diet in the traditional sense to fall off of. A Venus is adult enough to make her own food choices and mature enough to hold responsibility for them. A Venus doesn’t sit home sipping water and eating steamed veggies on a Saturday night. She’s out on the town at the best restaurants, in the best dress, enjoying herself. The Venus lifestyle is one of commitment. But one that is joyfully made given the overwhelming physical returns. For just a little consistency you get a lot of progress. The flexibility of the lifestyle makes it easy to side-step all the old diet blocks of more restrictive and complicated diet and training regimes. Res from the UK
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Gender Differences In Metabolism Men and women are different, this should be obvious at first glance. However, many people never stop to consider that the things that make men and women different on the outside, come from the inside.
Size Difference There are some rather obvious differences in men and women from a metabolic standpoint. The first is that men in general have more lean body mass than women and as a result men can eat more calories than women while still maintaining a leaner body. I've often been out for dinner and noted that the serving sizes of food at a typical restaurant seem to be 'calibrated' for men. In other words, the portion served fits fine for me, but seems to always be too much for a woman who might be dining with me. It's a bit unfair that I can simply eat what is served while she will have to leave some on the plate if she is concerned at all about managing her calorie intake. The alternative would be a world of portion sizes 'calibrated' for women where she could eat what is served and be perfectly satisfied without having to leave any food on her plate and I would have to order double the amount to be satisfied. It's a matter of perspective, but the latter case would be much more effective for weight loss as it's much easier to simply eat what is served to you compared to exerting the willpower to leave food on your plate. Ok that is enough about the general size difference of men and women. The next big difference is how testosterone and estrogen affect our bodies.
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Body Composition Estrogen is what makes you a woman and testosterone is what makes me a man. Women and men alike have a normal healthy and important circulating level of both of these hormones. Your estrogen levels are much higher than the small amount a man would have, and likewise a man's testosterone level is much higher than your normal health levels. Gender differences in estrogen and testosterone levels are what dictate the difference we see in the normal healthy ranges of body composition between men and women. The normal body composition range for men is between 10%-20% bodyfat and for women is 20%30%. Critically low bodyfat for men is approximately 3%, whereas for women critical low is approx 13% (as indicated by the appearance of potentially dangerous metabolic abnormalities). Clearly there is a difference in the general normal body composition of men vs women. A man can be at or below 10% bodyfat and look healthy and lean. A women achieving this level of bodyfat would actually look abnormal, sickly, and if enough muscle mass is on her body she will look overly masculine. In my experience working with many different women I've found that a lower bodyfat limit of approximately 16% - 18% is as low as most women will ever want to go and still maintain a feminine look. Anything below 20% is considered 'athletic/elite' for women. To contrast this with men, a bodyfat % of approx 8-10% would be necessary for a man to be viewed as athletic/elite. These body composition differences are due to the effect testosterone and estrogen have on our ability to store and burn fat. This is totally normal and no reason for concern, it's simply why you are shaped like a woman and I am not. The take home message is not to compare your bodyfat percentage to that of a man (if you're thinking in terms of bodyfat at all). Your target healthy range is between 20%-30%. Most of our Venus transformation contest winners arrive at their best figure anywhere between 18%-22%. Your specific best/happiest/healthiest look will 15
be unique to you. We cannot predict with certainty what your bodyfat % will be when you arrive at the look you are happiest with, but my guess is it will be somewhere close this range of 18-22%. This is important: The goal is not 0% bodyfat, nor is it to reach a predetermined level of bodyfat because you think this is the number you should have. The goal is to create a body you love and are proud of. Mostly likely this will end up somewhere around the range of 18-22% bodyfat. Let's do a brief summary of the gender differences we've talked about so far. 1. We know that you have more estrogen and less testosterone than men. It's what makes you a woman, and it also determines what your lower healthy bodyfat range will be. 2. You generally have less lean body mass than a man and therefore do not burn as many calories on a daily basis 3. Because of point 1 and 2 men can generally eat more calories than women and maintain a somewhat leaner body
The next most important gender difference when it comes to fat loss is with the hormone leptin.
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Lisa Barban Etwell – The Venus Mindset The Venus Mindset and what it means to me. If I were to put the Venus mindset into one word it would be EMPOWERMENT. Cutting out the static is critical in being a successful Venus. Having the knowledge that calories are king for fat loss/maintenance and that lifting heavy things builds shape is like owning a huge set of ear plugs protecting our ears and minds from the constant noise, myths, confusion and untruths being fed to us through the media and diet/fitness communities. Another form of empowerment is the right to choose. You get to decide whether you want your current shape or the shape of your choice. How? By lifting heavy things. Lisa Barban Etwell
You get to decide whether you want your current body fat levels or ones that are less/more. How? By deciding how many calories you eat.
Bottom line - YOU get to decide - and when you take the control and power of your own body back from those that hijack your goals - that is power. That is freedom. So.. what is the Venus mindset? Empowerment. Choice. Freedom. That doesn't mean it's easy. But it does mean that you ultimately have all the power in the world to make ANYTHING happen.
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Leptin Leptin is a signalling molecule that is released from your fat cells that is typically described as the master hormone regulating fat loss, due to the fact that is more or less released in proportion to the amount of fat you have on your body. The more fat, the more leptin (Owecki M. et al. 2010). This however leaves out all of the other roles it plays, and it can actually be seen as a master signalling hormone that is involved in the regulation and signalling of bone density, metabolic rate, fat mass, cognition and memory, inflammation, taste and sweetness perception, insulin sensitivity, and even the pathogenesis of skin tags (Moran CN et al. 2011, de Boer TN et al. 2012, Horio N et al. 2010, El Safoury et al. 2010) As you can see, leptin plays a significant role in many different systems of your body, and it's especially important to fat loss and overall appetite regulation. Leptin is produced and released by bodyfat and one of its many duties is to signal your brain to the amount of fat on your body. It is also released in response to eating and tells your brain how much food you've just ingested. It also responds to exercise intensity and duration, as well as the amount of chronic inflammation in your body (Suzukawa M et al. 2011). In other words, any typical diet intervention and/or exercise routine will stimulate a response in leptin. Since you have at least twice as much leptin as a man, your specific diet approach needs to be nuanced and designed to work for you as a woman. This doesn't mean you need to eat some wacky exotic food, it just means a different style of nutrition and exercise (if you choose to exercise) should be followed to maximize your results. You have roughly twice as much leptin circulating in your system as a typical man does. Since leptin is a major metabolic signalling molecule you might think that means you should burn twice as many calories as a man. But that isn't the case. Typically when there is more of a hormone circulating in the blood that means it is required to be at that level for some reason, or that the other systems of the body are 'resistant' to that hormone. In the case of leptin it seems that women are somewhat naturally resistant to leptin compared to men. Resistance may seem like a harsh word, so instead think of it as it 18
takes a little more leptin to do its job in a woman’s body compared to in a man’s body. And, this difference is increased with higher bodyfat levels. This is partly why it's difficult for women to start and stay consistent on a diet long enough to get the results they really want. It's also why severe low calorie and very strict dieting (AKA “Crash dieting”) doesn't work for women but might actually be more useful for men. In two research studies done by Nicklas et al. in 1997 it was shown that leptin falls almost twice as much in women compared to men. This means that women experience higher leptin highs, lower leptin lows when attempting to diet. Men don't have these same dramatic swings in leptin as men have lower natural circulating leptin levels, and when men go on a calorie restrictive diet they don't get as much of a decrease in leptin. In other words, a man's metabolism won't crash on a severely calorie restricted diet as easily as it could in women. It also means men won't experience the same feelings of hunger and cravings for carbohydrates during a weight loss program. This might sound familiar to you if you’ve ever attempted to diet alongside a male counterpart and noticed how much easier of a time he seemed to have with it. The two main differences between men and women when it comes to leptin are: 1. Men seem to have a higher natural sensitivity to leptin and therefore lower natural circulating blood levels 2. When men go on a very low calorie restrictive diet they experience less of a drop in leptin and as such their metabolism doesn't crash as easily and they don't get as severe cravings for carbs
To put it another way, women have higher natural leptin, and experience much more dramatic drops in leptin when dieting. So your highs are higher and your lows are lower. Kinda like being on a roller coaster with your metabolism and hunger and cravings throughout the dieting process. Does this sound familiar from the last time you attempted a restrictive diet?! Recall that one of the main focuses of the Venus Factor program is balance. And in the case of leptin men have an easier go of it with balancing leptin while dieting. This is why so many diets that have been written or created and tested on and by men never really work out so well for women. Men can simply push through a low calorie diet with brute force without experiencing large drops or swings in
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leptin that cause cravings and metabolic disturbances. An effective diet program for women must be designed to limit these dramatic swings in leptin in order to allow you to successfully complete your weight loss program and arrive at your ideal weight. In order to eliminate these swings in leptin and avoid creating massive food and carb cravings and metabolic disturbances you can do two things: 1. Increase your sensitivity to leptin 2. Use food itself to restore leptin levels so they never drop too far
Leptin Sensitivity There are 4 things you can do to increase your leptin sensitivity: 1. Get more sleep 2. Follow a well designed exercise program 3. Use a supplement designed to increase leptin sensitivity 4. Fasting
Leptin and Sleep As with many processes of the body, a lack of quality and consistent sleep can mess it up, and leptin is no different. Research shows that a lack of sleep can lead to leptin resistance (Charles LE. et al. 2011) . A very simple but effective strategy for increasing leptin sensitivity to ensure that you're getting enough quality sleep. Many people discount the importance of sleep for a healthy body but it cannot be stressed enough. Good quality consistent sleep is going to make everything work better and feel better, and that includes your leptin sensitivity. If you're not getting enough sleep, or not getting good sleep you should definitely put a plan in place to improve your sleep quality.
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Leptin and Exercise Just as sleep seems to have an effect on all systems of your body, so does exercise. Research also shows that a consistent exercise program will improve leptin sensitivity (Guerra B. et al. 2011). This doesn't mean you need to be lifting big weights like a bodybuilder. Even low intensity non-resistant training exercise will do it. The bottom line is that exercise is an effective tool for improving leptin sensitivity. If you're not getting enough exercise (or any at all) then you're missing out on some major fat burning benefits. This of course is why I've given you the Venus Factor workouts that go with the diet program.
Leptin Sensitizing Herbs Until recently there have never been any supplements that work directly with leptin. Drug companies thought that dosing people directly with leptin would be a cure for obesity (as it is in mice) but unfortunately that doesn't happen in people. As it turns out, having too much leptin isn't the answer. Improving your sensitivity to the leptin you already have, however, is very powerful for producing a fat burning effect. There have been a few herbs discovered that can do this and you can find one very useful supplement that can directly increase your leptin sensitivity. This will be one of your most useful diet supplement tools for achieving your fat loss goals. Until these supplement companies started focusing on leptin most supplements were focused on getting you wired with no regard to leptin sensitivity. This is a very male way of thinking and I'll admit that even in my past career developing weight loss supplements I never considered that there may be gender differences between men and women and a reason why women might not want to take the same fat burner supplements that men do. Now there is a very good option for you that provides a natural, smooth-feeling energy boost but also works on improving leptin sensitivity directly. This is a taylor-made option for women that I highly recommend you take advantage of. I know if there were something this targeted for men I would definitely be using it. You can learn more about these specific herbs at the end of this manual in the supplement section. Leptin and Fasting
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Periods of short term fasting can help improve leptin sensitivity and reduce bodyfat stores. This doesn't mean you need to go an entire day without eating but rather practice something I call strategic meal skipping. You'll find that many of our past Venus transformation success stories incorporated some form of fasting into their program with great success. Each of these four strategies can go a long way for improving your leptin sensitivity which will reduce your feelings of cravings as well as improve your metabolic functioning throughout the dieting process. Let's face it, dieting is hard enough, and I recommend you use every tool you can to get an advantage and make the process easier. The next strategy is unique to the Venus Factor and is part of the metabolic override protocol, and that is your strategic 'eat up' days, which are not to be confused with 'cheat' days.
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Liss Graham - Venus Mindset At the age of 28 and after 2 kids, I was finally able to achieve the Venus body that I had wanted all my life. My body is better looking and more functional today than it was when I was 17. I credit it all to Venus for teaching me how to change my life, not just diet or workout.
When I started my transformation, I was so unhappy. I knew at the time I did not like the way that I looked, but had no idea how it affected everything that I said and did. There was a black cloud hanging over my outlook and emotions. The body that I dreamed of eluded me even though I beat my brains out 5 days a week at the gym and counted calories. I would get to average and backslide- a never-ending weight roller coaster since the 3rd Liss Graham
grade. It was incredibly frustrating. No diet or workout ever taught me a LIFESTYLE like VI has accomplished. I learned
how to just live while keeping up my new amazing body- and not just for 12 weeks or 21 days. As a whole, my life has improved and climbed to heights that I would have never dreamed of before my transformation. I was promoted at my job shortly after reaching my ideal Venus metrics. The gym asked me to teach a Venus workout class which has been very fulfilling in helping other women achieve their body goals. This has led to guest authoring articles on the Venus website and even creating a blog of my own to help others. It is also worth mentioning that shopping is enjoyable when you look pretty great in everything that you try on too! People treat me differently, especially men. The compliments flow almost daily from strangers and friends alike. After maintaining for almost 6 months, even the most aloof friends and family are finally asking what my secret is. They WANT to know how I did it and keep my body. Men say out loud that they wish their wives would work out with me. Women say out loud that they wish they had my body. The Venus Factor has not only transformed my outside, but my inside, too, which I never expected. I feel like there is no unattainable achievement or goal now- I know that my mind or body will not hold me back. If I can dream it, I can do it. Thanks, Venus.
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Nutrition Science Eat-Up Days vs Cheat Days I want to make a distinction right away about 'cheat' days vs our 'eat up' days. From what I understand, a cheat day has been promoted to be a day where you eat massively excessive calories well above your metabolic needs for the day. This has become a bit of a ritual for fitness competitors and bodybuilders who follow severely restrictive diets then let it all loose on their 'cheat' day. I find this to be an unhealthy practice for multiple reasons. First, we can all overeat enough on a given cheat day to undo weeks of dieting. This is clearly just taking a big step backwards. Second, I dislike the use of the word 'cheat' because it implies you're doing something wrong or dishonest. Dieting and managing food is already psychologically stressful enough, there is no reason to add in things that make you feel like you're doing something wrong on purpose. To be clear, there is no way to lose bodyfat without creating a calorie deficit. This should not be news to you. In other words, if you burn 1800 calories today you need to consume less than 1800 calories in order to force your body to burn up some of your bodyfat in order to make up the difference. This is a fundamental law of energy balance and fat loss and it does not change. When men follow a severely calorie restricted diet they don't have as severe of a drop in leptin and therefore their metabolic rate seems to remain stable throughout the process. Women on the other hand cannot simply hit it hard, and go super low on calories for as long as they can stand it. Your leptin levels will fall dramatically leading to metabolic changes that could slow the fat burning process, as well as leaving you ravenously hungry and craving carbs. So in your case you must add in strategic 'eat up' days to prevent these dramatic drops in leptin and to avoid the carb cravings that will come. Most men can push for weeks without having an eat up day, but through our research and working with (and listening to) 100's of women we've found that women need to have strategic 'eat up' days much more frequently than men. This means you're only going to be in a 24
deficit for short stretches of time, then eating up to maintenance to restore normal leptin functioning and avoid any chance of a crash, cravings or a rebound. Throughout the program you will find that your 'eat up' days can come as frequently as every 3 days stretching to every 5th or 6th day. The point is that you'll never go an entire week eating in a deficit and you'll always be able to bring your calories back up to maintenance to reset your system.
'Eating Up' Means Eating at Maintenance Your daily calorie burn is what we call 'maintenance'. When we say 'maintenance' we are referring to the amount of calories you burn and eating up to this same amount of calories such that you don't gain or lose weight but rather you 'maintain' your weight and maintain your metabolism. For example if you burn 1800 calories today, and you eat 1800 calories today you are eating up to maintenance. This is what an 'eat up' day is in this program - Eating up to the total amount of calories you burned in a given day. This is in contrast to a 'cheat' day where you're instructed to eat significantly above maintenance, in some cases 1000's of calories above maintenance. In my experience having full out 'cheat' days just leads to a string of days of binge eating that sets you spiralling backwards both physically and psychologically. And this is because of a phenomenon called “disinhibited eating”.
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Naomi C – The Venus Mindset Being a Venus for me is about focusing on being the “fittest” and “shapeliest” that my body can be. I don’t focus on losing weight, I keep track of it but only to know it, like knowing my height. When it comes to the Venus body it is all about inches and how I feel and look in my clothing and in a bikini.
Living the Venus lifestyle for me is not about denying myself what I enjoy eating but finding balance in my diet by eating what I like within my chosen calories and macros. Knowing your number and staying within it sounds so hard at the beginning of the Venus journey but I came to realize quite quickly how freeing it is to know exactly how much I can eat and still achieve my goals. I look at my body as a very complex and beautiful system that needs nourishment and encouragement to flourish at its optimum potential. Food, like money, has no power of its own only what I give it. I choose to give food the power to create my best body.
“Clean eating and heavy lifting” is what I strive for every week. The workouts are set out in such an easy to read and learn format with videos Naomi C
to show proper form. These workouts are the core of what I feel makes Venus and Adonis unique, I lift as heavy as I can for all the exercises and
when I am done I know that my body is evolving into its best shape.
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Disinhibited Eating – 'Good Food' vs 'Bad Food' Thinking Must Go Disinhibited eating comes from the belief that there are 'good' foods you should always be eating and 'bad' foods you should never eat. I don't believe in good vs bad foods and I think that all foods have their place even in a weight loss program. Research shows us a psychological phenomenon that happens when a person who believes they have eaten a forbidden or 'bad' food. They go into a state of 'disinhibited eating' where one step over the forbidden lines leads to an all out feeding frenzy (Lemmens SG Et al. 2010, Stirling and Yeomans. 2004). You might have experienced this at some point when you've been dieting or 'watching' what you eat in the past. The scenario goes something like this. You're on a diet, and you've been 'good' for almost an entire week, only eating 'healthy' foods like salads, veggies, some fruit, lean protein sources but no grains, no sweets, no processed or 'junk' foods. Then one day you're out with some friends and instead of opting for a salad you indulge and join everyone for a slice of pizza. Well now that you've crossed the line into forbidden food territory all bets are off, and that one slice of pizza turns into five slices AND a quart of ice cream for dessert afterwards AND chocolate. After that first slice of pizza your inner voice is saying, “Well you've done it now, that pizza was in the forbidden bad food zone and now that you've crossed the line there is no looking back for today...today is lost so might as well go all out and eat the rest of the pizza AND the ice cream AND the chocolate and we'll get back on track tomorrow.” If this sounds familiar to you then you've experienced disinhibited eating. But the only way to experience an all-out eating frenzy is by having the belief in your mind that there are in fact good vs bad foods. I want you to work on eliminating this belief in good vs bad food and instead to view food from a standpoint of total calories. It is the total calories that you consume that will determine your weight loss success and it really doesn't matter where those calories come from as long as you're hitting your calorie targets for your personal weight loss goal.
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Keep in mind that for a short while when your goal is weight loss, calories are really all that matter. You've got the rest of your life to determine what exact foods you'd like to have as a part of your diet. And I firmly believe you should allow yourself to eat any and all foods you desire. This even includes some of the foods that most people would call 'bad' or 'junk food'. Don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting you can survive entirely on potato chips, ice cream and chocolate (although I'd love to try!!!) but it means that all of these foods can and should have their place in a balanced diet, as well as even within your weight loss program itself. Did you notice the word 'balance' show up again? That is because this program is about balance, which also includes a balance of foods ranging from all forms of vegetables, leafy greens, all forms of fruits, grains of any kind, dairy, meat, poultry, fish and seafood, and yes, even processed foods, fast food, candy and whatever people would call 'junk' food. All of it can be part of a successful weight loss program if you do it intelligently, and that is exactly what you'll be doing with the Venus Factor program. Allowing you to freely choose which foods will fit into your diet program is essential to removing the problems that come with the all-or-nothing black-white mindset of 'good' vs 'bad' foods. From now on you need to work on letting go of any belief that there are strictly good or bad foods and instead think of food you enjoy eating vs foods you'd rather not eat. I'm sure you'll end up with a list of foods that come from all categories. I've yet to meet someone who only likes to eat cake and cookies (mmm, I'd also like to try that too!).
Bottom line All foods are ok to eat, some just need to be in limited amounts or less frequently than others, but certainly every week you can have a bit of everything. This goes a long way to keeping your sanity and enjoyment and satisfaction with the process of losing weight and appreciating your body and your food along the way.
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Susan Doyle - Venus Mindset I have followed the Venus program and still incorporate the exercises into my regular workouts. I would recommend the program to anyone with the understanding that like any new practice, there is still a component of it that you are solely responsible for – ‘the mindset’ - that pulls it altogether.
The Venus mindset is not only following the exercise plan and eating healthy, it is making yourself accountable for your body, Susan Doyle
your mind and your health. While having the pleasure to know
the creator and work with him one on one, I can attribute that the amount of professionalism, knowledge and research that went into structuring this program was for the sole purpose of creating a better workout and health regime for us. As a 30 something female, I could have just taken the book and went with it.
However, the mindset that you bring to the program is one that will inevitably determine your success. A true Venus athlete is one that has a mindset of determination, self-respect and appreciation for her true-self, flaws and all. Like most ladies, you don’t often start a new workout feeling this way, but rather the opposite. By utilizing the Venus program, it provides you with exercises that not only strengthen your muscles but in turn allows you to strengthen your mind. You’ll be proud of your successes and what your body can do. You’ll build on thinking positively about yourself as well as truly understand the importance of controlling your health. Since starting with Venus over 3 years ago, it has taken this whole time for me to finally feel the way I do now. The Venus mindset is one of positive thinking, success and self-admiration. A mindset that once you get there, there is no turning back!
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Hot Button Foods With that said, you likely have a few foods that don't work well with your body and you'd do well to limit your exposure, but in general I would never label a food as good or bad. Also it's impossible for me to know what foods are your best foods and which ones are your troublemakers. For many people peanut butter is their hot button food – meaning one bite leads to the whole jar! If this is your hot button food then maybe you need to limit your exposure to peanut butter. For other people it might be potato chips, or pasta, or ice cream. The point is I don't know, but you do. Whatever your hot button food is you certainly already know what it is and you can take steps to limit your exposure to this particular food. And I'm not talking about all foods that are tasty here. Your hot button food is that one food that seems to control you instead of you controlling it. For example my hot button food is chicken wings. If I eat 1 I'll eat 30. But peanut butter is of no interest to me. Likewise I can have a small amount of ice cream without craving any more, but put even just one chicken wing in front of me and I'll be looking for more. You need to identify the one hot button food that gets the best of you and give your self a limited exposure to this one food. You can still have it, just make sure you keep the exposure to once every week or two. As you can see I'm not a fan of labelling any food as 'good' or 'bad' for the reasons stated above. I also don't consider any specific time of day as better or worse for eating, which brings us to the next major point of this system. And that is the answer to the following question: What should I eat?
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Recipes
Recipe Guide This is a book of common recipes that you will likely recognize but done as lower calorie options. There are options for breakfast, lunch, dinner, appetizers and desserts. Eating for weight loss can be enjoyable and very tasty with just a few key substitutions. You might notice some dishes that you’re familiar with by name, but you may not have thought to make them in the way we have laid out here. Each recipe is meant to create the same taste and experience as the ‘regular’ version but with less total calories. This is a big key to eating meals that are satisfying and feel like ‘yours’ while still losing weight. The goal of this manual is to give you lots options for cooking all kinds of different meals that you are already familiar with and like but with less total calories. And we’ve also tossed in some new ones that you might not have seen before (because variety and learning something new is never a bad thing). Eating realistic, flavorful and satisfying meals during your weight loss is a big key to getting the weight off while enjoying the process. Finally, once you reach your goal weight you can always use the recipes in this guide to maintain your new weight. In many cases these new recipes are simply how I make many of these meals and I’m just as happy eating them as the ‘old’ higher calorie versions I used to make. A little attention to detail when you’re cooking will go a long way to make weight loss fast, easy sustainable and enjoyable. Let’s get cooking! 4
Recipe Contents
Breakfast ............................................................................................. 10 Bagel and Lox ................................................................................. 11 Breakfast Burrito ............................................................................. 12 Breakfast Crepes . ............................................................................ 13 Bran Muffins . ................................................................................. 15 Breakfast Strata ............................................................................... 16 Coffeecake ...................................................................................... 17 Eggs Benedict . ................................................................................ 18 Easy Hollandaise Sauce.................................................................... 19 French Toast . .................................................................................. 20 Pancakes ......................................................................................... 22 Southern-Style Biscuits and Gravy .................................................. 24 Gravy .............................................................................................. 25 Easy Breakfast Scramble .................................................................. 26 Sweet Potato Hash .......................................................................... 27 Egg White Scramble (No Carbs) ..................................................... 28 Pancakes 2 ...................................................................................... 29 Cheese and Veg Omelette ............................................................... 30 French Toast 2 . ............................................................................... 31 Waffles ............................................................................................ 32 Lunches . ............................................................................................. 33 Chicken Tikka Masala . ................................................................... 34 Vegetable Curry .............................................................................. 35 Nova Scotia Donairs ....................................................................... 36 Fish and Chips ................................................................................ 38 Hamburgers and French Fries ......................................................... 39 5
Hot Dogs and Baked Beans . ........................................................... 40 Veggie Pizza .................................................................................... 42 Poutine ........................................................................................... 43 Tacos . ............................................................................................. 44 Wrap . ............................................................................................. 45 Avocado Club Sandwich ................................................................. 47 Tuna Salad ...................................................................................... 48 Vegetarian “Egg” Salad .................................................................... 49 Hearts of Palm Salad ....................................................................... 50 Fruit Salad ...................................................................................... 51 Eggplant Parmesan . ........................................................................ 52 Moo Shu Chicken & Veggies .......................................................... 53 Curry Chickpea Stew ...................................................................... 54 Pulled BBQ Chicken ...................................................................... 55 Cajun Shrimp Bowl ........................................................................ 56 Easy Whole Wheat Spanakopizza .................................................... 57 Fish Tacos ....................................................................................... 58 Creamy Chicken & Mushrooms ..................................................... 59 Healthy Greek Style Salad for Two .................................................. 60 Lamb Curry Vegetables (No Carbs) . ............................................... 61 Tomato & Garbanzo Bean Soup ..................................................... 62 Baked Chicken Pesto with Peas ....................................................... 63 Basil Pesto Topper or Dip . .............................................................. 64 Tuscan Tuna Salad . ......................................................................... 65 Roasted Butternut Squash Soup ...................................................... 66 Mushroom Risotto . ........................................................................ 67 Chicken Fried Rice ......................................................................... 68 Bacon Tomato Pizza ........................................................................ 69 Salmon Pasta with “Cream” Sauce . ................................................. 71 6
Ribs with “Fried” Vegetables ........................................................... 72 Beef Stew ........................................................................................ 74 Dinners ............................................................................................... 75 Bangers and Mash ........................................................................... 76 Barbecue Pork with Cole Slaw.......................................................... 77 Chicken Pot Pie .............................................................................. 79 Fried Chicken ................................................................................. 81 Lasagna ........................................................................................... 83 Macaroni and Cheese ...................................................................... 85 Meatloaf and Mashed Potatoes ........................................................ 86 Paella .............................................................................................. 88 Shepherd’s Pie ................................................................................. 90 Spaghetti Bolognese ........................................................................ 91 Easy Chicken Cordon Bleu ............................................................. 92 Baked Lemon Trout ........................................................................ 93 Smoked Salmon Quiche . ................................................................ 94 Easy Spaghetti Dinner . .................................................................. 95 Dinner by the Sea ........................................................................... 96 Desserts ............................................................................................... 97 Baklava ........................................................................................... 98 Bread Pudding ................................................................................100 Chocolate Chip Cookies .................................................................102 Crispy Rice Treats ...........................................................................103 Fudge Brownies . .............................................................................104 Vanilla Ice Cream . ..........................................................................105 Nanaimo Bars .................................................................................106 New York-Style Cheesecake . ...........................................................108 Riced Pudding ................................................................................110 7
Strawberry Shortcake ......................................................................111 Apple Confit Delight.......................................................................113 Chocolate Roll Cake .......................................................................114 Apple Crumble ...............................................................................115 Angel’s Food Cake . .........................................................................116 Appetizers ...........................................................................................117 Spinach Dip ....................................................................................118 Nachos . ..........................................................................................119 Boston Bib Salad . ...........................................................................120 Snacks .................................................................................................121 Pancetta-Wrapped Scallops . ............................................................122 Buffalo Wings .................................................................................123 Bleu Cheese Dip .............................................................................125 Caramel Popcorn and Peanuts . .......................................................126 Hummus ........................................................................................127 Nachos . ..........................................................................................128 Nuts and Bolts ................................................................................129 Trail Mix .........................................................................................130 Potato Skins ....................................................................................131 Spinach Dip ....................................................................................132 TexMex Cheese Dip ........................................................................133 Ripe Bananas (Mashed) . .................................................................134 Apple Carrot Muffins ......................................................................135 Mocha Biscotti . ..............................................................................136 Special Ocassion .................................................................................137 Classic Green Bean Casserole ..........................................................138 Cream of Mushroom Soup . ............................................................139
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Deviled Eggs ...................................................................................140 Fondue.............................................................................................141 Holiday Eggless Nog .......................................................................143 Honey-Baked Ham .........................................................................144 Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding . .................................................146 Prawn Cocktail (“Shrimp Cocktail”) ..............................................148 Super Bowl Chili . ...........................................................................150 Drinks and Smoothies ........................................................................151 Orange Cream Smoothie ................................................................152 Amaretto Smoothie .........................................................................153 Mocha Smoothie . ...........................................................................154 Banana-Berry Smoothie ..................................................................155
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Breakfast Breakfast
Breakfast
Bagel and Lox Calories per serving:
110
Serving size:
1 recipe
Total calories per recipe: 110 Servings:
1
Ingredients:
• ½ of a low-calorie “light” bagel • 1 tablespoon non-fat or fat-free cream cheese, softened to room temperature • 1 ounce lox (thinly sliced cured fillet of salmon) • 1 slice fresh red tomato • 1 thin slice fresh purple onion • 1 tablespoon pickled capers • 1 pinch ground black pepper
Instructions: Toast the bagel half. Transfer to serving dish. Spread the cream cheese on the bagel. Top with lox, then tomato, then onion. Garnish with capers and pepper.
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Breakfast
Breakfast Burrito Calories per serving:
185
Serving size:
1 burrito
Total calories per recipe: 185 Servings:
1
Ingredients: • • • • •
1 (2.5 ounce) low-carb “wrap” (low-calorie flour tortilla) 1 large egg ¼ teaspoon black pepper 1 pinch raw salt 1 tablespoon fresh spring onion or scallion with green tops, thinly sliced • 1 tablespoon fresh jalapeno or other fresh hot pepper, seeded and chopped • 2 tablespoons shredded fat-free cheddar cheese • 2 tablespoons tomato-based salsa or picante sauce
Instructions: Place the wrap or tortilla on a microwave-safe serving dish. Microwave for 30 seconds or until hot. In frying pan over medium heat, scramble egg with salt and pepper. Spoon the cooked egg onto the hot wrap or tortilla. Top with onion, pepper, cheese and salsa or picante sauce. Fold the wrap or tortilla around the filling.
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Breakfast
Breakfast Crepes Calories per serving:
30 (excluding optional toppings)
Serving size:
2 crepes
Total calories per recipe: 600 Servings:
10
To make 20 Low-Calorie Breakfast Crepes, gather the following ingredients: • 1 large egg ¾ cup all-purpose • ¾ cup water • 2 tablespoons melted butter melted 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract • ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon ½ teaspoon aluminum-free baking powder • 1 pinch of raw salt
Instructions: Place all ingredients into an electric blender. Process for 10-20 seconds or until batter is very smooth. Add a bit of extra water if necessary. Meanwhile, on stovetop, heat crepe pan over medium heat. This amount of batter will yield 20 crepes (six-inches in diameter).
Optional toppings: • ½ cup fresh strawberries, sliced (23 calories) • ½ cup fresh blueberries (41 calories) • ½ cup fresh loganberries, stewed with 2 tablespoons maple sugar (75 calories)
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Breakfast
• • • •
1 tablespoon “all-fruit” jam, any variety (40 calories) 2 tablespoons zero-calorie sugar-free syrup, any variety (0 calories) ¼ whipped dairy cream in aerosol can (30 calories) 1 tablespoon confectioners powdered sugar (31 calories)
14
Breakfast
Bran Muffins Calories per serving:
110
Serving size:
1 muffin
Total calories per recipe: 1320 Servings:
12
Ingredients: • • • • • • • • • •
1 tablespoon butter or coconut oil 1 cup cake flour 1 cup wheat bran 1/2 cup whole-wheat flour 2 tablespoons agave nectar or honey 2 teaspoons aluminum-free baking soda 2 teaspoon each: cinnamon and nutmeg ½ teaspoon raw salt 2 large eggs 1/2 cup each: water, buttermilk, unsweetened applesauce
Instructions: Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees. Oil a 12-count muffin tin with 1 tablespoon butter or coconut oil. In a large mixing bowl, stir together the cake flour, wheat bran, whole-wheat flour, stevia, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, water, buttermilk and applesauce. Fold the wet mixture into the dry mixture, stirring just until thoroughly blended (add a bit more water if the resulting batter is too dry). Divide the batter equally into the muffin tin. Bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes or until done.
15
Breakfast
Breakfast Strata Calories per serving:
285
Serving size:
1/6 recipe
Total calories per recipe: 1710 Servings:
6
Ingredients: • 1 tablespoon bacon drippings • 4 cups, stale bread or leftover toast, cut into bits (various kinds of stale bread or leftover toast work well in this recipe) • 6 slices of cooked bacon, crumbled (or ½ cup cooked ham, chopped) • 1 cup grated non-fat or fat-free cheddar cheese • 6 large eggs • ¾ cup water • 1 teaspoon each: dry mustard, hot pepper sauce • ½ teaspoon each: black pepper, raw salt
Instructions: Oil a casserole dish with the bacon drippings. Spread half the bread or toast over the bottom the dish. Top with bacon and cheese. In a mixing bowl, whisk together the eggs, water, mustard, pepper sauce, pepper and salt. Pour this egg mixture evenly over the bread, bacon and cheese in the dish. Top with the remaining 2 cups of bread or toast. Cover, and refrigerate at least 1 hour or overnight. To cook, pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. Remove cover from dish. Cook at 350 degrees for 90 minutes, or until the eggs are set. If the top is browning too quickly, tent with foil.
16
Breakfast
Coffeecake Calories per serving:
195
Serving size:
¼ recipe
Total calories per recipe: 780 Servings:
4
Ingredients: • • • • • • • • • •
1 tablespoon butter or coconut oil 1 cup all-purpose flour Stevia equivalent to ¾ cup sugar 2 teaspoons aluminum-free baking powder ½ teaspoon salt 2 egg whites ¼ cup unsweetened applesauce ¼ cup water 4 tablespoons brown sugar 2 teaspoons cinnamon
Instructions: Pre-heat oven to 375 degrees. Oil a 9-inch square baking dish with the butter or coconut oil. In mixing bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. In a separate bowl, whisk together the egg whites, applesauce and water. Add the wet mixture to the dry mixture, stirring until just blended. Spoon batter into the prepared baking dish. Top with brown sugar and cinnamon. Bake at 375 degrees for 20-25 minutes or until done.
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Breakfast
Eggs Benedict Calories per serving:
300
Serving size:
1 recipe (including sauce)
Total calories per recipe: 300 Servings:
1
Ingredients: • ½ of an English muffin or crumpet, toasted • 1 ounce lean ham or pancetta • 1 egg, poached Easy Low-Calorie Hollandaise sauce (see recipe, below) • 2 tablespoons chopped truffles
Instructions: Arrange the toasted muffin or crumpet half on a serving dish. Top with ham, then the poached egg. Spoon Easy Low-Calorie Hollandaise Sauce over. Garnish with chopped truffles.
Note: For Low-Calorie Eggs Florentine (250 calories per serving) omit ham. Instead, use ¼ cup cooked or canned, chopped spinach (drain the spinach, and then press with paper towels to absorb most of the cooking or canning liquid).
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Breakfast
Easy Hollandaise Sauce Calories per serving:
97
Serving size:
1 recipe
Total calories per recipe: 97 Servings:
1
Ingredients: • • • • •
1 egg yolk 1 teaspoon lemon juice ¼ teaspoon Dijon mustard 1 pinch of raw salt 1 teaspoon butter, melted
Instructions: Place egg yolk, lemon juice, mustard and salt into an electric blender. Process for 5-10 seconds or until the mixture is smooth. With the blender still running, slowly add the melted butter. Immediately spoon the resulting mixture atop the assembled Eggs Benedict or Eggs Florentine, and top with truffles.
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Breakfast
French Toast Calories per serving:
300 (excluding optional toppings)
Serving size:
1 piece
Total calories per recipe: 300 Servings:
1
Ingredients: • • • • • •
1 large egg 1 tablespoon water 1 teaspoon pure cane sugar (or equivalent amount of stevia) ½ teaspoon pure vanilla extract ¼ teaspoon pure almond extract 1 slice stale bread, sliced 1 inch thick (a hearty artisan white bread, French or Italian, will work best for this recipe) • ½ teaspoon ground cardamom • Pinch of raw salt • 1 teaspoon cold-pressed coconut oil
Instructions: Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees. In mixing bowl, whisk together the egg, water, sugar or stevia, vanilla extract and almond extract. Add the bread, soak for 2 minutes, then flip and soak for 2 more minutes or until all of the egg mixture is absorbed into the bread. Oil an oven-safe dish with 1 teaspoon coconut oil. Transfer the egg-soaked bread to the dish. Sprinkle the bread with cardamom and a pinch of raw salt. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown.
20
Breakfast
Optional toppings: • 1 tablespoon confectioner’s powdered sugar (31 calories) • 2 tablespoons zero-calorie sugar-free maple syrup (0 calories) • 2 tablespoons pure maple syrup (50 calories)
21
Breakfast
Pancakes Calories per serving:
100 (excluding optional toppings)
Serving size:
2 pancakes
Total calories per recipe: 1200 Servings:
6
To make 12 Low-Calorie Pancakes, you will need: • • • • • • • • • • •
1 tablespoon cold-pressed coconut oil 1 cup cake flour + ¾ cup all-purpose flour 2 tablespoons pure cane sugar 2 teaspoons aluminum-free baking powder 1 teaspoon aluminum-free baking soda ½ teaspoon raw salt 2 eggs 2 cups water 2 tablespoons melted butter 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
Instructions: Over medium heat, pre-heat a cast-iron griddle, spreading a tablespoon of coconut oil to thoroughly coat the surface of the griddle. In a mixing bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. In a separate bowl, whisk together the eggs, water, melted butter, lemon juice and vanilla extract. Add wet mixture to dry mixture, stirring until just blended (do not over-mix; the batter should have several small lumps). Pour pancake batter onto hot griddle to make 12 pancakes. Cook for 1 minute or until the edges appear dry and some of the bubbles appearing in the batter have begun to pop. Flip each pancake once, and cook for another minute, or until a light golden brown on both sides. 22
Breakfast
Optional toppings: • • • •
1 teaspoon sweet butter (30 calories) 2 tablespoons pure maple syrup (50 calories) 2 tablespoons zero-calorie sugar-free maple syrup (0 calories) 1 tablespoon “all-fruit” jam, any variety (40 calories)
23
Breakfast
Southern-Style Biscuits and Gravy Calories per serving:
200 (including gravy)
Serving size:
1 biscuit + 1 portion gravy
Total calories per recipe: 2400 Servings:
12
To make 1 dozen Low-Calorie Southern-Style Biscuits, gather the following ingredients: • 2 cups self-rising flour, chilled • 4 tablespoons salted butter, chopped into small bits, then frozen • 1 cup (8 ounces) warm water
Instructions: Pre-heat oven to 400 degrees. In a mixing bowl, use your fingertips to work the frozen butter into the flour. The resulting texture should resemble coarse cornmeal. Using a fork, stir the warm water into the flour mixture, until a dough begins to form. Scoop the dough onto a lightly-floured surface. Knead lightly until the dough just holds together; do not over-mix. With a sharp knife cut the dough into 12 equal portions. With your hands shape each portion into a biscuit. Place the biscuits onto a lightly-floured baking sheet or Pyrex pie plate. Bake at 400 degrees for 10-15 minutes or until risen and nicely browned. Each biscuit = 100 calories. To serve, transfer to individual plates, and top each biscuit with 1 portion of Low-Calorie Gravy.
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Breakfast
Gravy Calories per serving:
92
Serving size:
1/12 recipe
Total calories per recipe: 1100 Servings:
12
Ingredients: • • • •
8 tablespoons bacon drippings 8 tablespoons all-purpose flour 1 teaspoon each: black pepper, raw salt 4 cups water
Instructions: In a skillet or saucepan over medium heat, stir together the bacon drippings, flour, pepper and salt. Cook, stirring constantly with a spatula to scrape the bottom of the skillet, until the mixture is sizzling and just beginning to brown nicely. Slowly add the water, stirring constantly and continuing to scrap the bottom of the pan. Continue cooking for 10-15 minutes, until the gravy is bubbling and beginning to thicken nicely. (If it’s too thick, add a bit of hot water.)
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Breakfast
Easy Breakfast Scramble Calories per serving:
118
Serving size:
1/4 recipe
Total calories per recipe: 472 Servings:
4
Ingredients: • • • • • • •
1/2 cup red onion, diced 1 tomato, seeded and diced 4 eggs 4 egg whites 1 tbsp. dill, fresh (taste more like dill than the dried stuff) Salt & pepper 1 tsp. olive oil
Instructions: Cook onion in olive oil over medium-high heat for about 4 minutes. Add the diced tomato and cook another minute or 2. Place onion and tomato mixture in a bowl and set aside. Beat together eggs and whites, add in salt and pepper as needed. Cook egg mixture over medium-low heat, stirring frequently until the eggs are just about set and no longer runny. Drain any additional liquids from the onion and tomato bowl and stir into egg mixture. Toss with dill and get your day off to a great start.
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Breakfast
Sweet Potato Hash Calories per serving:
131
Serving size:
1/4 recipe
Total calories per recipe: 524 Servings:
4
Ingredients: • • • • • • • •
1 red onion, cubed 2 sweet potatoes, peeled and cubed 1/4 tsp. kosher salt 1 tsp. fresh black pepper 2 garlic cloves, finely chopped 1 tsp. thyme, chopped 1/3 cup Black Forest Ham, diced 1 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil
Instructions: Heat oil over medium-high heat and cook onion about 3-4 minutes until browned. Stir occasionally. Lower heat to medium and add in sweet potatoes. Cook 8 minutes or until potatoes reach desired tenderness, then stir in ham, garlic and thyme.
Note: Add a scrambled egg or fruit salad to this to prevent those latemorning sugar cravings!
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Breakfast
Egg White Scramble (No Carbs) Calories per serving:
200.5
Serving size:
1 recipe
Total calories per recipe: 200.5 Servings:
1
Ingredients: • • • • • • •
2 egg whites 1/2 cup spinach pepper 1 slice gruyere cheese, chopped 1 garlic clove, grated 1 tsp. red pepper flakes 1 tbsp. olive oil
Instructions: Add pepper and garlic to egg whites and mix. In skillet over medium heat add egg whites and garlic mixture to the skillet and cook for 2 minutes. Add in spinach and cook until slightly wilted, 1 minute. Add cheese and cook until done, 1 minute. Sprinkle with red pepper flakes and enjoy!
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Breakfast
Pancakes 2 Calories per serving:
207
Serving size:
1/4 recipe
Total calories per recipe: 828 Servings:
4
Ingredients: • • • • • • • • •
3 medium eggs (whites only) 1 cup flour 1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp sweetener 1 tsp cinnamon 1/2 cup skim milk 2 tsp vegetable oil 1/2 cup low calorie syrup 1 cup blueberries
Instructions: Combine egg, egg whites, and milk and beat briefly. Stir in cheese and vegetables and pour mixture into a lightly oiled pan on medium heat. Gently push in edges and let sit for 1-2 minutes, then fold in half and continue cooking for 2-3 minutes. Having one whole egg adds flavour to the omelette and the extra whites give it volume. Try using stronger cheeses (blue, aged, etc.) because you don’t need as much of them to get a nice flavour throughout. Salt and pepper to taste!
29
Breakfast
Cheese and Veg Omelette Calories per serving:
230
Serving size:
1 recipe
Total calories per recipe: 230 Servings:
1
Ingredients: • • • • • • •
1 medium egg (whole) 2 medium egg (whites) 1/4 cup skim milk 2 tbsp shredded parmesan 1/2 tomato (chopped) 1/4 cup spinach (chopped) 1 tsp vegetable oil
Instructions: Combine egg, egg whites, and milk and beat briefly. Stir in cheese and vegetables and pour mixture into a lightly oiled pan on medium heat. Gently push in edges and let sit for 1-2 minutes, then fold in half and continue cooking for 2-3 minutes. Having one whole egg adds flavour to the omelette and the extra whites give it volume. Try using stronger cheeses (blue, aged, etc.) because you don’t need as much of them to get a nice flavour throughout. Salt and pepper to taste!
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Breakfast
French Toast 2 Calories per serving:
274.5
Serving size:
1/2 recipe
Total calories per recipe: 549 Servings:
2
Ingredients: • • • • • • •
4 slices low calorie (thin-sliced) bread 3 egg whites 3 tbsp skim milk 1 tsp vanilla 1 tsp vegetable oil 1 cup low calorie whipped topping 1 cup sliced strawberries
Instructions: Mix and gently beat milk, egg whites, vanilla, vegetable oil, and season with cinammon. Next, soak slices of bread in the egg mixture, turning to coat both sides. Cook slices one minute a side on a medium heat nonstick frying pan and serve with whipped topping and sliced strawberries! Flavouring with cinnamon and vanilla can add sweetness without having to add sugar.
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Breakfast
Waffles Calories per serving:
274.5
Serving size:
1/2 recipe
Total calories per recipe: 549 Servings:
2
Ingredients: • • • • • • • •
3 medium eggs (whites only) 1 cup flour 1 tsp baking powder 1 tsp sweetener 1/2 cup skim milk 2 tsp vegetable oil 1/2 cup low calorie syrup 1 cup blueberries
Instructions: This waffle recipe has all the same ingredients as the pancake recipe. My recommendation is to beat the egg whites until they are stiff before folding them into the flour mixture to give a nice crispy outside to the waffles. To add extra protein to your waffles or pancakes, substitute the flour for vanilla protein powder, which has the same amount of calories but a lot more protein!
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