Keep Plowing The Key to Successful Living in the Face of Setbacks and Surprises

Bob Salley

CrossBooks™ A Division of LifeWay 1663 Liberty Drive Bloomington, IN 47403 www.crossbooks.com Phone: 1-866-879-0502 © 2012 Bob Salley. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author. First published by CrossBooks 5/31/2012 ISBN: 978-1-4627-1628-9 (sc) ISBN: 978-1-4627-1627-2 (e) ISBN: 978-1-4627-1629-6 (hbk) Library of Congress Control Number: 2012906632 Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture quoted from The Holy Bible, King James Authorized Version. New York: Oxford Edition: 1987; King James Bible. Other Scripture references are from the following sources: The Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Ravi Zacharias quote taken from The Grand Weaver by Ravi Zacharias. Copyright © 2007 by Ravi Zacharias. Used by permission of Zondervan. www.zondervan.com Oswald Chambers’ quotes taken from My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers. © 1935 by Dodd Mead & Co., renewed © 1963 by the Oswald Chambers Publications Assn., Ltd., and are used by permission of Discovery House Publishers, Box 3566, Grand Rapids, MI 49501. All rights reserved. The Manna Fund PO Box 8847 Shreveport, LA 71108 Cover concept and photography by John B. Walker. Picture of Bob & Jan provided by WHRI. All photos and illustrations used by permission. Printed in the United States of America This book is printed on acid-free paper. Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only. Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock. Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily refl ect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

To the World Hunger Relief family, for the glory of God.

This is a special internet edition of “Keep Plowing” provided to World Hunger Relief, Inc.. The Manna Fund and the author give express written permission to both World Hunger Relief and you, the reader, to share this e-book with anyone. This means that you are free to email this e-book to your friends for no charge. You may not resell or reprint this publication or in any way charge a fee connected with the use of this publication. If you wish to make a contribution to The Manna Fund, click on the button below to print the donation form. Note: For best viewing and to accurately print the donation page, we recommend using Adobe Acrobat Reader®. If you don’t have this free software, click on the Adobe link to download at no cost.

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Before you start reading … Though you might have bought this book from a retail store, I don’t sell this book personally. I didn’t write it to make money for myself. In fact, we give this book away every chance we get. Why? I believe that God uses all kinds of ways to bring glory to Himself and is not restricted in the methods He chooses to fund ministries that matter to Him and accomplish His divine purposes. I wrote this book to provide funding for ministries like World Hunger Relief, Inc. Instead of setting a price and selling the book, I believe God has instructed me to give this book away and trust Him to move people to give to The Manna Fund, which in turn provides funding to worthy ministries like World Hunger Relief. As I write this note, The Manna Fund is helping build an endowment for World Hunger Relief that will perpetually provide operating costs long after the Lord calls me home. Let me be perfectly clear: not one dime of funds generated from this book will go into my pocket. God has provided for all of our financial needs through my real estate business. This frees us up to give even more, as the Lord provides so abundantly. I donated the rights to this book to The Manna Fund. So in reality, if you got this book for free, then The Manna Fund paid for it. I’m hoping that God will encourage you as you read my story and testimony. If this book is a blessing to you, I want you to do two things. 1. Use the donation form in the back of the book and send a check to support what God is doing through The Manna Fund to support ministries like World Hunger Relief. 2. Pass the book on to someone else whom you think would be encouraged by my story. May the Lord bless and keep you in perfect peace.

vii

Foreword

once heard a story about a father who was teaching a fourth-grade Bible class that happened to include his nine-year-old son. The lesson that Sunday was centered on the essence of being a Christian. After spending the majority of the class time in explaining the virtues of living a life that displayed the love of Christ, the father asked a question.

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“Why do you suppose people call me a Christian?” (Insert sound of crickets chirping.) Again, he queried the less-than-attentive group of boys. “Why do you suppose people call me a Christian?” (Insert sound of fewer crickets chirping.) Seeing that his dad’s chances of winning the Communicator of the Year award were slipping away, his son decided to help prime the conversation pump and piped up. “Well, maybe they don’t know you!” One thing I know for sure: Bob Salley is the real deal. If you know him, you know he is definitely a great example of a Christian. His faith in Jesus Christ is not some mental exercise with no outward evidence. Bob’s journey of life experiences gives more than abundant proof that God’s blessings and provisions are real to those who humble themselves and call upon His name.

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Life is full of running into setbacks and brick walls, but success is unavoidable if God is directing your path. My prayer is that as you read this book, you will be encouraged to find out that a life lived in submission to the will of God is a victorious life full of adventure and purpose! John B. Walker Worship Pastor

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Contents

Foreword . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ix Introduction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xiii Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22

The Crash. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 1 Beginnings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 College or Career? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11 Okinawa or Bust! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Stateside Again . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 24 Can It Get Any Colder? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 32 Two Became Three . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 38 Baylor Days. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 Green Acres . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51 Revival . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 59 World Hunger Relief . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 65 Gaining Altitude . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 76 Sacrificial Giving . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 94 Blessed by Influencers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 A House of Cards . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 104 Nothing Is Impossible with God! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 108 The Brotherhood . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 120 Our Family Grows . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 125 A Matter of the Heart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 134 God’s Restoration . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138 You Can Trust Him! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143 Making Music . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149 xi

Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30

Concerted Efforts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 156 Reflections on Renewal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161 The State of the Church . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 166 What If? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 171 Surrogate Gods . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 177 Christ in Me . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 182 It’s Complicated . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 186 Don’t Be Afraid of the Off Ramp! . . . . . . . . . . . . . 190

Epilogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 195

xii

Introduction

his book is my testimony about how God has worked in my life. It has been an incredible journey fi lled with mountains and valleys, twists and turns, and problems and solutions. It has been much like a roller coaster ride. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I have had successes and failures. I have flown with the eagles, and I have walked with the turkeys. Through it all, God has shown me a portion of His grand design and the part that He wanted me to play in it. He equipped me, gifted me, and guided me throughout this incredible adventure. At different times in my life, God has used me in many different ways. I can relate to the message of Fanny Crosby’s old hymn All the Way My Savior Leads Me.

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All the way my Savior leads me; what have I to ask beside? Can I doubt His tender mercy, who through life has been my guide? Heavenly peace, divinest comfort, here by faith in Him to dwell! For I know what-e’er befall me, Jesus doeth all things well. All the way my Savior leads me; cheers each winding path I tread, Gives me grace for every trial, feeds me with the living bread: Though my weary steps may falter, and my soul athirst may be, Gushing from the rock before me, lo! A spring of joy I see. All the way my Savior leads me; oh the fullness of his love! Perfect rest to me is promised in my Father’s house above; When my spirit, clothed immortal, wings its fl ight to realms of day, This my song through endless ages: Jesus led me all the way. xiii

My prayer is that this testimony of God’s practical grace in my life will point you to Jesus and may be of some help to you in your journey. When I was a child, my father always had a small place to farm. He called farming his “hobby.” I was always amazed that I had to be so deeply involved in his hobby. When I was out there plowing, I thought about that a great deal. Everyone else had tractors for their plowing, but my father thought there were some character-building advantages to walking behind a mule or a horse that was pulling a plow. I had plenty of opportunities to build my character. Sometimes, while I was plowing, I would wonder why Dad had me plowing. He was a preacher. He didn’t have to farm, and if he didn’t, I wouldn’t have to plow. I spent many hours brooding over that puzzling question. Occasionally, I would work up the courage to ask him, “Dad, why is it necessary for me to plow?” He would answer, “Keep plowing.” During many of life’s difficulties, I have wondered why my heavenly Father would give me such a large field to plow and such a small mule to plow it with. When I asked Him about it, He always seemed to answer, “Keep plowing, for I have planned a harvest.” When difficulties come into your life, and you wonder why you have to do all those distasteful things, I advise you to keep plowing, because God has planned a harvest. You will never see that harvest unless you … keep plowing! “Jesus replied, ‘No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the service in the kingdom of God’” (Luke 9:62 NIV). If we are going to be servants of God, we must be persistent. We must never give up. Paul said, “I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day” (2 Tim. 4:7 KJV). That day is approaching very quickly. Let us be like Paul and keep the faith, fi nish the course, and keep the faith. Back at the start, we could not even imagine what God had in store for us. “Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither hath entered into the xiv

heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love Him” (1 Cor. 2:9 KJV). How could we even conceive of the life that God had prepared for us? We dared not dream of such things. We still can’t imagine what God has in store for us. It is greater than our hearts can conceive or our minds can believe. How can we realize the things that God has prepared for us? By conceiving and believing, no matter how daunting the task, no matter how big the assignment, no matter how big the obstacle. Keep plowing! Remember, it’s God who is doing it through you. With that combination, you are unstoppable. In this book, I will attempt to tell our story, and I will attempt to relate some of what I have learned from the experience. You don’t have to agree with my conclusions, but you should at least consider them. Much of what I have learned was revealed by the Holy Spirit and confirmed by God’s Word. It would be difficult to move me from my position, because that is proven tried and true.

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C h apt er 1

The Crash

can’t believe this is happening to me,” I said when I realized that bankruptcy was imminent. I had been serving the Lord the best way I knew how. I had given hundreds of thousands of dollars to the Lord’s work. Jan and I had sung concerts all over the United States, paying all our own expenses and giving every penny of our honorariums and love offerings to help alleviate world hunger. What was happening? I didn’t understand. This went against everything that I had ever understood about God. Some people teach that if you serve the Lord, you never have any more problems. You just call on God and He, like a heavenly errand boy, runs out and brings you anything your heart can desire. The trick seems to be that you must have enough faith to believe that anything you name can be yours. I have even heard some say that you can bind God to give you what you want. That is counter to everything that the Bible teaches. I know that now, but at that time I was grasping at straws, and I hoped that I could ask God to deliver me and that He would do it if I had enough faith. “Give and it shall be given unto you, good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give unto your bosom. For with the same measure that you mete withal it shall be measured to you again” (Luke 6:38 KJV). It was obvious that I had given enough to qualify for that promise. I have heard people say, “You

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Bob Salley

can’t go broke giving” or “You can’t out-give God.” Everyone seemed to have an answer but me. I just didn’t know what was going on. This was the lowest point of our lives. It seemed as if we couldn’t go on any longer. It seemed as if everything was lost and we would never smile again. People who had had respect for us no longer did. We were embarrassed before the world. Our dreams were shattered. There was no hope to be found anywhere. In addition to our fi nancial woes, World Hunger Relief, Inc., an organization that Jan and I had founded and raised funds for, was going through some difficult times. I was the chairman of the board and had to deal with that. I was concerned that my financial problems might spill over into the ministry of World Hunger Relief. Jan and I had been some of the major benefactors of that organization as well as some of the leading fundraisers. It seemed appropriate to assume that our problems could possibly become their problems. We certainly didn’t want that to happen. I had been in the real estate business for many years. After beginning as a salesman, I later became a broker and then began investing in real estate. I bought and sold properties, developed tracts of land into subdivisions, built homes, and owned rental and commercial property. I never thought the real estate market would crash and leave me in the position that I found myself in. I kept looking for some kind of business deal that I could make that would change things. After all, I’d had problems before and had been able to work them out. No deals seemed to pan out no matter what I tried. I had always paid my bills and had a good reputation, yet here I was facing mounting unpaid bills with no money to pay them and no prospects. Lending institutions began foreclosing on my real estate holdings. Even my own home was threatened. Bill collectors were calling every day, demanding payment. I got to the point where I was afraid to answer my telephone. I had tried to be a positive thinker for many years, but it wasn’t working anymore. I had trouble sleeping at night. Worry was affecting everything I did. If only I could disappear and not have to face all these 2

Keep Plowing

problems or wake up and find out that it had all been a bad dream—but I couldn’t. Finally, on December 31, 1983, Jan and I had to fi le for personal bankruptcy. Until then, I thought bankruptcy was for those people who wanted to take advantage of others. It was for those who wanted to beat the system. It was then, and only then, that I began to realize that this was a law that had been passed to protect debtors from being completely overwhelmed. I had no other choice. We were in debt for millions, and our assets were being foreclosed on. During the real estate downturn, our properties had depreciated to the point of not having sufficient value to collateralize our loans. That left me with a great deal of unsecured debt, which I had no hope of ever paying. Some people urged me to start over in business. They said that in no time I could recover and be back on top again. As we now know, the real estate market did not begin to recover until the 1990s. It is easy to see now that such an effort would have been futile. God made it very clear that He wanted Jan and me to devote ourselves full time to the concert ministry. That would definitely mean that we could never pay back a large debt from love offerings. Where were we to go? What were we to do? We no longer had a home. Ours had been foreclosed on, even though it was our homestead, because we could no longer pay for a four-thousand-square-foot home on large acreage. The bubble had burst! We were being pulled in all directions at the same time. What brought us to this point?

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C h apt er 2

Beginnings

was born in Carlisle, Texas, on March 9, 1940. Carlisle, now known as Price, is in East Texas, right in the heart of the oil field. At the time of my birth, Carlisle was a boomtown. My father, John Cecil Salley, was a butcher in Dixon’s grocery store. He had come to Carlisle from Louisiana to get a job in the oil field and ended up with a job as a butcher. My mother, Edna Massey Salley, was a housewife. She had her teaching certificate in Louisiana but was not working at that time. My older brother, Allison, was a very talented musician. By the time he was six, he was quite proficient at the keyboard. My parents used to relate story of how Allison would drag a chair up to a window and pretend that he was playing the piano on the windowsill. He had an early call and knew all of his life what he wanted to do. Don’t you just hate those people who know what they want to

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Keep Plowing

do with their lives from the very beginning? I spent half my life trying to figure out what I was going to do when I grew up. My father felt the call of God to become a preacher before I could remember and was called to pastor a little church in Marthaville, Louisiana. We had to drive all the way down there from Carlisle on weekends after he had worked in the store all week. Dad accepted his first full-time pastorate at Old Palestine Baptist Church near Alto, Texas. He gave up a job making twenty-five dollars per week and accepted this church, which was to pay him only twentyfive dollars per month. My mother worried about how we would be able to make it on that, but we did. My dad took any kind of extra work he could get. He worked as a butcher, a carpenter, or anything else he could find. God was faithful in providing for our needs. On December 1, 1942, my brother, Jerry, was born. He was the first of us who had the privilege of being born in a hospital in Jacksonville, Texas, just up the road from Alto. From the beginning, Jerry was athletic. He excelled throughout his life in athletics. He was another one who knew his life’s direction early on. Since Daddy was now a preacher, he knew he should get more education. Even though he only had a ninth-grade education, he applied and was accepted at East Texas Baptist College in Marshall, Texas. We moved there, and Dad drove back to the church in Alto every weekend. Times were hard. Trying to go to college with a wife and three boys was tough for Dad. I got to experience early in life how God provides for His obedient children. Daddy and Mama were faithful to step out by faith, and God provided a way. He gave my mother a teaching job in Karnack, Texas. The school was only twelve miles or so from Marshall. We moved to Karnack and lived just across the football field from the school. We rented a house from Lady Bird Johnson’s father, Mr. T. J. Taylor. Dad drove back to Marshall every day to college. When Mother began teaching, Dad resigned from his church to devote himself full time to his studies. We really enjoyed living in Karnack. Jerry and I played on the football field while all the other kids in town were in school. We also 5

Bob Salley

explored the Methodist church’s yard next door. One day, I found a package of cigarettes lying in the bushes. I tried one, and it didn’t agree with me. I got my first case of tobacco sickness. Suffice it to say, I didn’t smoke any more for a long time. In the fall of 1946, I started to school and left Jerry to fend for himself. I liked recess and lunch, but aside from that there wasn’t much that appealed to me. In fact, I never liked school from the fi rst grade all the way through college. It was just something I had to do. I got my fi rst spanking in school from Mrs. Alcorn, my fi rst- and second-grade teacher. She had caught me eating paste. This was the fi rst of many spankings yet to come during my career as a scholar. They actually bordered on whippings. If it had not been for corporal punishment both in school and at home, I might have become an outlaw. With Mama teaching at the same school that I attended, I didn’t get away with much. Mama worked on her degree at the same time my father was in school. They both graduated in 1948. Mama had only finished two years of college before she and Daddy married. That was all that was required for a teaching certificate in Louisiana during those days. Since she was teaching in Texas, she had to fi nish her education. During the last year of Daddy’s schooling, he accepted the pastorate of Fairview Baptist Church in Marshall, Texas. We continued to live in Karnack and drove back and forth to the church. Fairview didn’t have a parsonage, so they rebuilt an old school building that was on their 6

Keep Plowing

property, converting it to a home for us. They jacked up the roof, cut about four feet off the top of the wall, and then lowered the roof onto the now eight-foot ceilings. I can well remember sitting on top of the wall with the roof structure four feet above my head with only the jacks holding it up. I wonder what would have happened if a strong wind had come along? The roof would probably have landed a mile away! We moved to Marshall in 1948, and I started the third grade at South Marshall Elementary. This city school was different from what I was used to. People there didn’t know what to think about me, and I didn’t know what to think about them either. In Karnack, we only had about eight students in my class. In the new school, I was in a class of over twenty-five. I was scared to death but adjusted in time. Allison had reached junior high school by that time, and I had to go to school all alone. That didn’t help matters much. In Karnack I just had to walk across the football field to get to school, but in Marshall I had to ride the bus. The first day, I was scared to death that I would get on the wrong bus and end up no telling where. I wasn’t sure if I would ever see my family again. One day, my teacher asked the children what kind of work their fathers did. I nearly panicked because I couldn’t think of anything that my father did. I knew that he raised a big garden and had chickens and cows, so I finally said he was a farmer. My teacher knew Daddy, so she asked, “What else?” I couldn’t think of anything as the class awaited my answer. What pressure! She finally said, “He’s a preacher.” I replied, “Oh yeah, that too!” I didn’t realize he got paid for preaching. I thought he did that only for fun. Later on in my life, I got the chance to find out firsthand what a preacher does. When I reached the fourth grade, Jerry started first grade at South Marshall Elementary, so I was no longer alone. We continued going to school there until I was halfway through the fi fth grade and Daddy accepted the pastorate of First Baptist Church in Pleasant Hill, Louisiana. This was the church where he had been saved as a boy, and this was his hometown. We moved into the parsonage right next to the church, and again we were the new kids in town. Pleasant Hill was a small town. We had about 250 students from 7

Bob Salley

the first through the twelfth grade. I found out that I was kin to many of those students, even though I didn’t know them. It didn’t take too long to adjust to this new setting. Allison didn’t accept the move quite as well as Jerry and I, because he was in the tenth grade and had formed strong relationships back in Marshall. He managed though. My spiritual life began to take on a little more meaning. I was getting older and began to understand more about Christianity. I had accepted Christ as my Savior when I was five years old. I know that is very young, but I had been around church all my life. I do not remember a lot about the experience except some of the older ladies of the church hugging me and crying. I guess it wasn’t a “Damascus Road experience,” but it was genuine. I was baptized in a stock pond. That was before we had a baptistery. Through most of my earlier years, I doubted my salvation many times. Why not? Evangelists were constantly coming to our church trying to get everyone saved over again. I spent a lot of time in prayer about it and finally realized that my experience was real and that nothing could take it away from me. The fi rst revival that we had in Pleasant Hill lasted two weeks. Daddy preached that revival, and there were so many people saved that he was nearly waterlogged by the time he fi nished because it took him so long to baptize them all. There were several other churches in the area where revival sprung up as a result of the revival in Pleasant Hill. I went to church every time the doors were open. What else do you do when your father is the pastor? In Vacation Bible School, I memorized Scripture that is still with me today. I went to VBS until I got my first job. Dad would not let me out of it, no matter what! Royal Ambassadors was also a big part of my life. Going to summer church camp always gave a spiritual boost. I was a very insecure young person. I didn’t have a lot of confidence in myself and wouldn’t try anything too difficult for fear of failure. Insecurity bothered me until I was an adult. In high school, I wanted to play basketball, but I didn’t have enough confidence to try out for 8

Keep Plowing

the team. I finally got up enough courage to do so when I was a senior and made the team, even though I never became a starter. Jerry really excelled at basketball. He was named All State for three years and, as a senior, was named Mr. Basketball for the whole state of Louisiana. It was quite an accomplishment, and I was very proud of him. Allison excelled in music. He was a very accomplished pianist and organist and won many competitions in that field. He later became a concert organist. He also served several churches as organist and choirmaster throughout his life. There I was, a middle child with my younger brother and my older brother both gaining accolades in their fields. I didn’t even have a field, much less accolades. I took piano lessons for nine years and learned to play only one song: Jesus Keep Me near the Cross. I always told people that I played a Jew’s harp until I got my tongue hung in it and quit. What a letdown, because I held high hopes of becoming an accomplished Jew’s harpist. ( Just kidding.) I didn’t see my future in music or athletics. I finally found out that I had a pretty good voice. My fi rst solo was It Took a Miracle. It took a miracle for me to sing that song. I was so scared I wasn’t sure if I would make it or not. I did, but the congregation heard only what bounced off the top of the pulpit, because I never looked up. I had my eyes on the music the whole time. Everyone thought it was great, so I gained more confidence immediately. There wasn’t much premium put on a musician by the kids in Pleasant Hill, unless he had a guitar. We were now in the ’50s and everybody had a guitar but me. Every time I sang, I tried just hard enough to make the adults happy but still look cool to the kids. I didn’t want them to think something was wrong with me. What a strain that was, trying to be different things to different people. Daddy heard me sing on one particular Sunday and was impressed to the point of telling me that God was calling me into church music. How could I argue with that? I thought that God spoke through my dad so I surrendered to full-time Christian service. It is difficult to determine what God’s will is for someone else’s life, but my dad 9

Bob Salley

thought he was right. I knew he didn’t want to do anything to hurt me, and I didn’t want to do anything to hurt him, so I made my commitment to follow Daddy’s interpretation of God’s will for my life by studying music in college.

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C h apt er 3

College or Career?

decided that since I was going into church music, I needed to go to a Christian school. Since my best friend from Pleasant Hill, Hayes Prothro, had gone to Baylor University in Waco, Texas the year before, I wanted to go there as well. I started in the fall semester of 1958, not knowing what it was all about. This was a total shock for me. Coming from a small school and a small town, I quickly found out that I was a small fish in a large pond. I was still a small fish, only the pond size had changed. Registration for my freshman year was a nightmare. I didn’t know what a major or a minor was. I just knew that I wanted to study music. This was before computers simplified registration, so I found myself in lines that I didn’t even know existed before. I would get to the front of a line only to find out it was the wrong line. I finally made it through all the lines and found myself a full-fledged student, with my slime cap and everything else that was pertinent for starting my education. I began to take on my own personality at college. I no longer was living in the shadow of someone else. I became more outgoing and tried to be everybody’s friend. I was becoming a larger fish. I spent a lot of time at the drive-in movies, sometimes seeing four to five movies in one night. That didn’t give me much time left over for such things as studying. I should have been ashamed of myself, because this was costing my parents dearly.

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Bob Salley

My major quickly changed to campusology. I didn’t learn much academically that first semester, but I had a great time. My grades were just good enough to keep me from being thrown out of school. The administration put me on scholastic probation and instantly I had a cloud over my head. I did better the second semester but still didn’t make the dean’s list. I began to question whether I wanted a career in church music. All I could do was sing. Everyone back home told me that I was better than Tennessee Ernie Ford. My voice teacher at Baylor didn’t know Tennessee Ernie and, frankly, was not too impressed with me either. He told me that I didn’t have the God-given talent to sing. That nearly killed any self-confidence that I had left. I could not believe that the only thing that I did well, I was not very good at! When I told my dad, he nearly blew his stack. He wanted to tell that professor what he thought of him, but he didn’t. The next year, however, I earned an A under that same voice teacher. He must have changed his mind or found out who Tennessee Ernie was. In fact, he called the dean of the music school in to listen to me. My teacher said, “I just can’t believe Bob’s progress!” Maybe he heard from my dad after all. I felt much better after the people of Pleasant Hill turned out to be right about me. They recognized talent when they saw it. I could do what I could do well. I still had a great deal of trouble with my negative self-image and tried to overcome it by acting like I was very self-confident. That seemed to be the thing to do. I became part-time music director at a church in Dime Box, Texas, while I was a sophomore. Dime Box was named after a dime box of snuff. It was close to Snook. That should shed some light on the geographical location of Dime Box. A friend of mine from Baylor, Mike Hargrove, was the pastor. We had to travel approximately one hundred miles to this church every Sunday. We only had the Sunday morning service each week, so it didn’t take up too much of my time. I was there one year and then became minister of music at First Baptist Church in Axtell, Texas, during my junior year at Baylor. This church was only ten miles outside Waco and travel was much easier 12

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for me. We had Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night services. During the summer breaks, I led music in several revivals. I liked that and began to think that evangelistic music might be the thing. I really wanted to have a concert ministry, but I did not know how to begin. My real desire was to be a recording artist and a rancher or farmer. I had been around cattle all my life and loved it. My preference for a career in agriculture was ruined by the call. Maybe I could combine the two but, who knows? I was thoroughly confused! I continued to attend college only because I didn’t know what else to do and I didn’t want to break my parents’ hearts by dropping out. They had sacrificed to send me to college. I wanted to join the air force, but my parents wouldn’t hear of it. I had interest in so many things that I couldn’t settle down to any one thing. I was trying to please God and my parents as well as the people of my hometown. I would have quit school, but I was afraid of what everyone would think. I was also afraid of what God might do to me if I abandoned the call. After the fall semester of my junior year, my father told me they did not have enough money to send me to college the next semester. Instead of being disappointed, I was thrilled. I was ready for some time off. Dad expected me to return to school in the fall of that year, after missing only the spring and summer semesters. College was still on his agenda for me. I got a job in a service station in Pleasant Hill and worked there several months. My responsibilities were to pump gas, fi x tires, wash cars, do oil and lube jobs, and do other tasks. That job was not one of my favorites, but I pressed on. The Dairy Delight was just across the street for the fi lling station so I got to visit with some of the kids in when they came to town. That made things more bearable. During that time off from school, I also worked in a sawmill for a while. My job was to stack cross ties. You talk about work. That was real work! It made me realize that was not a hidden career opportunity. Education looked a little better after working in the sawmill. I accepted every revival I could. I liked that work better than any I had ever done, but it still was not what I was searching for. Besides, 13

Bob Salley

I did not know how to stay busy enough to make a living at it. What would ministry mean for me? I didn’t want to be a pastor like my father. I was so afraid God would call me to preach, because my concept of God’s was that it would be the most distasteful thing I could imagine. Pastoring had all the earmarks! I once again thought about the possibility of entering the air force, but my parents talked me out of it again. It appeared as if I would go back to Baylor that next fall, which was in 1961. My brother, Jerry, graduated from high school that year and accepted a basketball scholarship to Northeast Louisiana State College in Monroe. I decided to go there instead of returning to Baylor. They also gave me a chance to try out for the football team. I had always wanted to play football, but our small school in Pleasant Hill didn’t have a team. I was big enough to play on the line so that is where they put me. I wanted to be a running back or a receiver because I wanted to carry the ball. That’s where the glory was. The line was ignored. There was no glory down in the pits. It is just a lot of hard work. I registered at Northeast in the fall of 1961 and began practicing with the football team. We had two-a-days for a week before school started. In case you don’t know what two-a-days are, they are two three-hour practice sessions each day. Stacking cross ties didn’t seem so bad after all. At least no one was trying to kill me at the sawmill. I made it through the preseason practices and the regular season began. Since I transferred from Baylor, I was not allowed to play on the team for one full year, according to NCAA regulations. That meant I would have to remain a tackling dummy until the next year. I had to do the same work as everybody else but got none of the glory. What a bummer that was. I became minister of music at Highland Park Baptist Church in Monroe and served there for several months while I was going to school and playing football. That really kept me busy. I liked the church and its people but still had trouble seeing myself as a full-time minister of music. I continued to study music, not knowing what I was going to do with my life. I was having a great deal of difficulty settling down to one thing. 14

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Nothing seemed to be quite right. I envied those people who came to college knowing exactly what they wanted to do and had defi nite goals in mind. As I said earlier, “Don’t you just hate people like that?” At church I had a friend named James Murphy who was also floundering. He and I began to talk about the possibility of dropping out of school and joining the air force. The more we talked about it, the better it sounded. We talked to the recruiter and the prospect sounded even better. Recruiters have a way of making the service sound a lot better than it really is. Of course, that is what they got paid to do. We took the battery of tests and qualified. Did you ever know anyone who didn’t qualify? Even so, we felt pretty good about ourselves. We were still in college but were not breaking any records studying. You might say that our minds were elsewhere. Any new prospect seemed to be better than the one we had. At age twenty-one, I felt I could make my own decisions. I spent a lot of time trying to persuade my parents that entering the service was the thing for me to do at that time. The day fi nally arrived. I left school in the middle of the semester, quit football, resigned my church, and joined the air force.

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C h apt er 4

Okinawa or Bust!

ames Murphy and I were sent to Shreveport for induction. Bright and early on Monday morning, November 19, 1961, we were put through some more tests, given a physical, and sworn in. We were now the property of Uncle Sam. What had I done? This was the first thing I had ever done that had the sense of permanence that this did. Later that evening, we flew on a relic of an airplane to San Antonio, Texas, stopping at almost every town in between. Like the late Grady Nutt used to say, “The pilot would taxi up to the terminal and yell out the window, ‘Give me another two dollars’ worth of regular.” We landed in San Antonio late that night and the TI (tactical instructor) was waiting for us, yelling with every breath. What a kind man to come out in the middle of the night to welcome us to military service. We were loaded on a bus and taken to the Lackland Air Force Base and given all kinds of instructions before the TI tucked us into bed. After what seemed like just a few minutes, the TI was yelling for us to get up. It was still dark, but I decided to accept his invitation and struggled out of bed. After all, he sounded sincere in his request. We were busy from that moment until late that night. We went through orientation, got our hair cut off, and were marched endlessly. We got enough shots to make us feel like pincushions! Somehow, this didn’t sound exactly like the recruiter had made it sound. In fact, recruiters

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were not very popular to new recruits in basic training. The next few weeks didn’t sound too inviting, but I knew, somehow, that I would still be there at the end. Things quickly took a turn for the better. The next day I was named dorm chief. I didn’t even know what that was, but I gladly accepted the position. I was put in charge of the “fl ight” while the TI was gone. That gave me some clout. For the first time in my life, I could boss people around, and get away with it. I will have to admit that I liked it. I gave orders, marched the troops, and did anything else that a substitute TI might do. I also escaped lots of work that everyone else had to do. I took to management like a duck to water. Why not? I had it made all the way through basic training. I even made the squadron basketball team. That kept me from even having to go through physical training with everyone else. While they were out there doing calisthenics, I was over at the gym playing basketball. To say that the other guys resented me would be an understatement. The extent of our religious training during basic training was marching to chapel every Sunday morning. The rest of the day was much like any other. I never strayed far away during that time, but I wasn’t all that close to the Lord either. I was lukewarm at best. Quiet time was at a premium. There was very little time to study the Bible and pray. After basic training ended, I was shipped to Wichita Falls, Texas, for technical school. James went to Keesler AFB, Mississippi, so we were separated and were never stationed together again. I had been selected as a refrigeration and air-conditioning specialist. I made my lowest grade in mechanics on my aptitude test when entering the service, and wouldn’t you know it? The air force sent me to school to learn to be a mechanic! They just needed people to fi ll a slot and my name came up. (That was before I understood the sovereignty of God.) We had to wait several weeks before we could start school, so we ended up pulling every kind of detail, especially KP. I was no longer in management at tech school. I had been somebody in basic training, and now I was a nobody again. What a putdown. I began to fi nd out more of what military service was all about. 17

Bob Salley

It was dead winter when I arrived in Wichita Falls, and the wind never stopped blowing. There was nothing but a barbed-wire fence between there and the North Pole, and three of the wires were down on it. Boy was it cold! I was miserable until spring arrived. Finally, we started our schooling and, sixteen weeks later, we graduated. I still did not feel like a refrigeration and air-conditioning specialist, but I wasn’t about to argue with the air force. I still wasn’t ready to work on anyone’s air conditioner or refrigerator yet. I got my orders and found my next duty station would be Naha Air Force Base in Okinawa. My parents were not too pleased. I would be away from them for eighteen months. I was given a leave before I shipped out, so I went home. I spent two weeks basking in the friendship of my old friends. I felt pretty important again. After all, how many other people from Pleasant Hill were going to Okinawa? After my leave, I had to report to Travis Air Force Base in California to embark for Okinawa. I rode a bus all the way from Shreveport, Louisiana, to San Francisco, California. I was never so tired of riding in my entire life. I arrived at Travis on Sunday, July 1, 1962, left for Okinawa by plane on July 2, and arrived at my destination on the evening of July 4, having never seen July 3. We crossed the international dateline and completely skipped the whole day.

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I traveled all the way to Okinawa on a four-engine, propellerdriven Super Constellation owned by Flying Tigers Airlines. Talk about slow! We were in the air for thirty hours. We spent two hours in Hawaii and one hour on Wake Island. By the time I arrived at my destination, my feet were so swollen that I could not put my shoes back on once I took them off. After traveling all the way from Shreveport to Okinawa on the modes of transportation that I had available to me, no wonder my feet were swollen. I felt like the man in the movie Around the World in Eighty Days. What a trip! The barracks were not air-conditioned and I had no fan. The temperature was in the nineties and the humidity hovered somewhere near what seemed to be 150 percent. I felt like I was underwater. Even though I had grown up in Louisiana, I had never experienced humidity such as that found on Okinawa. It was stifl ing! The first morning when I woke up, I realized I had sweated clear through the thin cotton mattress on my bed. I was also as sick as I could be. I was vomiting my head off and had diarrhea at the same time. I thought I would have to get better to die. I just knew they would ship me home because I would be unable to live there. That never happened, and I fi nally recovered and settled in. When I first arrived on Okinawa, I did not attend church often. I went to the base chapel now and then, but with temptation all around me it was hard to live a Christian life. I was a long way from home and was surrounded with people from all walks of life and with different value systems than mine. That made things even more difficult. One Sunday morning, I was in the base exchange, instead of in church, listening to religious music records. I heard Mahalia Jackson sing, and God spoke to my heart. All I could do was cry. He urged me to find a church home. I needed to be surrounded by Christian friends. I found that when you are surrounded by people who are living in sin, it is difficult not to become like them. I needed better surroundings! I heard about Central Baptist Church, an English-speaking church about fifteen miles from my base. That night, I boarded a bus and went to the evening service. What a refreshing experience that was! I met some of the finest people I had ever known. Most of them were 19

Bob Salley

military personnel or American civil servants. They were from all over the United States. I decided to join that church immediately. Never before had I been involved in a church like Central Baptist. It was full of dedicated and active Christians instead of nominal ones. The nominal ones dropped by the wayside when they were away from home and in surroundings like those found on Okinawa. The dedicated ones seem to gravitate toward each other. I felt at home again. In my new church, no one paid any attention to rank, origin, cultural standing, or other barriers. I thought of that church as being the nearest to a New Testament church that I had ever seen. We were involved very deeply in ministry and missions and stayed busy in church activity all the time. That gave me plenty to do in my spare time. We had a young people’s group like no other. We had something going on all the time. I invited my non-Christian friends to church. Some came, but they didn’t see the attraction. Why not? They didn’t have spiritual eyes to see with. They invited me to the Airman’s Club where they drank and danced. I felt like a pair of brown shoes with a tuxedo. I couldn’t see what was so inviting about that. One of my friends came to church with me and got saved. After getting a new heart, he didn’t see the attraction to his old ways any longer. Until then, my view of Christianity had been dogmatic and very legalistic. I had it all boiled down to a set of rules and regulations that were sort of simplistic. I needed the regimen of dogma to hold onto, like most people with a poor self-image. I had a form of religion, but denied the power thereof. I had a simple answer to every question. I found out later that I didn’t even know the questions. I had never had my beliefs challenged before. While I was a member of Central Baptist Church, my spiritual life began to change ever so slowly. I began to experience the power of God in ways that I had never known. I began to develop a relationship with God that was my own and not that of my family. During my stay on Okinawa, I still struggled with what I would do after I got out of the service. At first, I planned to go back to school, finish my degree, and go into church music as a career. After a while, I began to rationalize that since God had given me an interest in 20

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agriculture, I should begin farming and ranching. It was a dilemma! I wanted what God wanted, if I knew what that was, but I also wanted what I wanted. Knowing God’s will is sometimes difficult, especially when you may be unwilling to do it. The answer to God needs to be, “Yes. Now what is the question?” With that attitude, you will fi nd His will. I didn’t know that at the time. I thought I could win God over to my will. My poor self-image was a big problem to me. I discussed that with a friend, Les Snyder, and he recommended that I read Norman Vincent Peale’s book, The Power of Positive Thinking. I had heard of it but never read it. I went to the base library and could not find that book, but found The Amazing Result of Positive Thinking by the same author. I checked it out and simply devoured it. Putting those principles into practice was not easy for me, but, as a result of the effort, I began to develop a more positive self-image. I know now that when you let God make you into His image, you don’t have to worry about your self-image. It doesn’t matter anymore! I finally decided I would go into agriculture and forget about college when I got out of the service. To negate God’s call in my life, I rationalized that He must have never really called me … Besides, many churches need part-time music directors. I began to set my thoughts on farming and develop goals along that line. Maybe I had it figured out after all! While I was a member of Central Baptist Church, I was ordained as a deacon, the only single man afforded that privilege at the time. I formed some friendships there that have lasted to this very day. Jerry Shaw, a cowboy from Texas who was in the army at that time, became one of my best friends and remains so today. Merle and Barbara Mitchell, who now live in Atlanta, Georgia, are still close friends. Merle was an air force pilot and Barbara was the organist at our church. Les Snyder, who sang in a quartet with me, remains a friend today. I not only sang in the quartet but also directed the youth choir at Central Baptist. That gave me an outlet for my interest in music and allowed me to continue using my talent. I was asked to sing “specials” from time to time and led the music when the director was absent. That 21

Bob Salley

caused me to realize that I could use my musical abilities in whatever church I might belong to, without having a career in music. I began dating a girl from New York, Suzanne Langworthy, an American dependent schoolteacher, in the school system set up for children of military personnel. We had a lot of fun together, but our backgrounds were so different that we realized there was no future for us. We dated for as long as I was on Okinawa. She was the first girl I had ever been serious about. I had it made on Okinawa! I worked at the Air Defense Control Center as an air-conditioner operator. There was such sensitive equipment in that building, it had to be kept at the proper temperature in order to operate effectively. I worked three swing shifts (4:00 p.m. to 12:00 p.m.), three midnight shifts (12:00 p.m. to 8:00 a.m.), three day shifts (8:00 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.), and then had three days off. I could trade shifts with other operators anytime I wanted. I simply checked on the air-conditioning system once an hour. The rest of the time I could read, watch television, or sleep. It was the easiest job I had ever had. It was almost like being paid for doing nothing. It sure beat working at a sawmill or pumping gas! We had houseboys in the barracks to clean up after us, others to pull KP, and girls to wait tables in the chow hall. We had only two inspections during my time on Okinawa. I missed both of them because I had to work. I had a car and a motorcycle so was never at a loss for transportation. I was always loading up some of my friends and going sightseeing. There was much to see on Okinawa. The scenery was beautiful, like on most any Pacific Island. It was not much different from Hawaii except for tourism. The island was very small, but we explored most of it. We visited many historical sites as well. A major World War II battle had been fought there, so history was deeply embedded everywhere. There was an old, partially exploded Japanese gun emplacement right across the street from my barracks. The eighteen months I spent on Okinawa were some of the best in my life. I have fond memories of the people and experiences there. If I

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had not been taking myself so seriously during that time, I would have enjoyed it even more. I left Okinawa on December 19, 1963. On the return trip to the United States, I got to fly on a jet plane. That made the trip much faster. I was only in the air for thirteen hours with a one-hour stop in Japan and a two-hour stop in Alaska. I landed at Travis Air Force Base in California on December 19, just a couple of hours after I left Okinawa. I had gained back the day that I lost on the trip over. What a relief! From Travis I caught a bus to the San Francisco airport. Upon arrival there, I called my parents and asked them to meet me in Dallas. They were really surprised to hear that I was back. They weren’t sure when I was leaving Okinawa. They were on the road to Dallas in minutes. We had a wonderful reunion when I arrived. I had a thirty-day leave and spent it at home, basking in all the love and attention of my family and friends. It was really good to spend Christmas at home. This was the first time I had been home for Christmas since I joined the air force. Believe me: Christmas was much better at home than away. My new duty station was Biggs Air Force Base in El Paso, Texas. I had requested to be stationed in either Louisiana or Texas. Some of my friends on Okinawa were excited about me being stationed close to home. Little did they know that El Paso was over nine hundred miles from home. So much for getting my requested assignment. Oh well! After all, I did belong to Uncle Sam.

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C h apt er 5

Stateside Again

left Pleasant Hill on a snowy morning in January and spent several days in Midland, Texas, with my brother, Allison. I went on to Bledsoe, Texas, to see my cowboy friend, Jerry Shaw, who had left Okinawa about a month before I did. I finally arrived and reported in at Biggs Air Force Base in El Paso. They moved me into a transit barracks when I first arrived. It was an old World War II, open-bay facility that was drafty and uncomfortable, but I didn’t have to stay there but a few days. My permanent quarters had a room with only two roommates. It was the best housing provided for me since I had joined the service. My work was still in air-conditioning, but most of the buildings on base were cooled by evaporative coolers, which I had never seen before. All they did was put some humidity in the air, which cooled pretty well in West Texas. I had never seen such dry air. It nearly snapped. I shocked myself every time I touched anything metal. Unlike Okinawa, the humidity was usually around 10 to 15 percent. That caused my lips to stay chapped all the time and my hands to crack and bleed. After the high humidity of Okinawa, it took a while to get used to. I had never experienced a sandstorm before, but they were common occurrences in El Paso. As a child, I had seen dust in the air occasionally, but I had never seen where it came from. You couldn’t keep blowing sand from getting in your house. It would come in around the windows and doors as well as anywhere else you might have a crack. It would pit

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the windows on your car like they had been sandblasted and get in your brake linings. Sometimes, sand would blow so badly that you couldn’t see to drive. It was quite a change from what I had been accustomed to, but it didn’t take very long to adjust. I had wondered why I was in El Paso. It didn’t take too long to find out. God had a plan. I was about to learn more about the sovereignty of God. It still amazes me today. Shortly after my arrival, I became the minister of music at Ysleta Baptist Church in El Paso. I noticed a beautiful, redheaded girl singing in the choir. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. It didn’t take long for me to fi nd out that her name was Jan Burks, a junior at the University of Texas at El Paso. She sang beautifully and had been a summer missionary with her Baptist Student Union the summer before we met. I asked her for a date to a choir party, and she accepted. She had to break another date to go with me, but she did so. We had a great time so we started dating regularly. Our fi rst few dates revolved around church activities—revival services, choir practice, and such. Most of the time, we would drive around and sing. We harmonized well, so that settled that. It wasn’t long before we were serious about each other. Jan’s mother warned her, “You’d better watch that boy. He is serious!” Jan was taking twenty-one semester hours in college when we began dating. Even though we went out nearly every night, she still maintained a B average. That was the worst grade point average that she had during her college career. She graduated with a 3.45 overall GPA and was on the dean’s list of outstanding students. I had been on the dean’s list myself, but it wasn’t for outstanding scholarship, I can assure you! I was on his hit list. All my spare time was soon taken up by Jan. As soon as I got off work, I would rush and shower then head for her house. I would stay as late as I could every night. I know her parents must have gotten tired of me, but they were always gracious about it. Jan and her family were originally from Belton, Texas, but had moved to El Paso when she was a sophomore in high school. Her father, Jack, worked for Western Gas Company and also drove a city bus. He 25

Bob Salley

worked sixteen hours a day and didn’t have much time for anything else. Helen, Jan’s mother, was supervisor of food services in one of the elementary schools. Not only was she a great cook, but she was a great manager as well. Jan’s older brother, Jackie, was married to Bobbie, one of Jan’s best friends in high school. She in fact had introduced Jackie and Bobbie several years before. Jim, Jan’s younger brother, was still in elementary school. He was twelve years younger than she. Jim was always getting on my nerves because he was always hanging around when I wanted him to get lost. After only two months, I asked Jan to marry me, and after some deliberation she accepted. We were married two months later on July 27, 1964, at Ysleta Baptist Church.

My dad performed the ceremony with assistance from our pastor, Rev. L. C. Lange. The first time my family met Jan was at the wedding. I wanted to show her off to all my friends in Pleasant Hill, so believe it or not we spent our honeymoon at my parents’ house. We did make one 26

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detour to New Orleans but only long enough to drive down Bourbon Street and then we were on our way. Jan has never let me live down the fact that we went to my home on our honeymoon. Everyone in Pleasant Hill loved her. After a few days, we started back to El Paso in an old Dodge pickup that I traded my dad out of. I had been driving a new car but could no longer afford it with a new wife. That old pickup did not have air-conditioning so we nearly burned up traveling through West Texas with the windows rolled down to get what air was available. Oh well. We were young and in love. It wasn’t so bad. After all, love conquers all. We bought a small, four-room house with an FHA loan. We paid $5,750 for it and the payments were only fi fty-six dollars per month. I was so scared when I signed that note that I cried! We bought a whole house full of furniture for only four hundred dollars at a garage sale. We still have part of our old bedroom suite today. It must be a valuable antique by now. Jan had been working her way through school before I came along, but after we married she decided to retire and devote all her time to finishing her senior year. When we married, I got separate rations pay, which gave me a raise to two hundred dollars per month. Still, it quickly became obvious that we needed additional income. I did not want to take another part-time job, so I launched out into my business career. My product was manure and my service was hauling it to put on people’s yards. It didn’t take much capital. I had a pickup and a shovel, so my only capital requirement was the cost of the manure and gas for the pickup. I would quickly recapture my investment when I delivered the pungent stuff to a customer’s yard. I guess you could call me a manure specialist. In fact, some people still call me that. I really preferred being called a manure engineer. The accepted definition of business seems to be “find a need and meet it.” People in El Paso had a need for manure, and I fi lled that need! My business flourished. Charging only seven dollars to eight dollars per load, depending on the grade of the manure, I was soon making more money than the air force paid me. I began hiring some of the guys 27

Bob Salley

from the base to help me because I couldn’t handle it by myself. One of those guys told me one day, “You will be a millionaire by the age of forty.” He didn’t know how prophetic he was. I hope he didn’t think I would make that kind of money in the manure business. It wasn’t long before I branched out into the hay business. I bought a two-ton truck to haul hay on. I became a two-truck operation. I would buy a field of alfalfa hay, load it on my truck, and sell it to horse owners. Handling manure and hay kept me so busy that I hardly had time to rest. I would get up early, load a load of manure, then drive to the base and go to work. At lunchtime, I would deliver that load. Can you imagine me driving down the road with a load of manure blowing everywhere while I wolfed down my sandwich? That is a nice thought, isn’t it? After work, I would deliver manure or hay until dark. I decided to make my big truck into a flatbed dump so that I could use it to haul hay, manure, or dirt, which I had also branched out into. That would allow me to dump the manure and dirt without having to shovel it all off. I could just see what a time-saver that would be. I bought a dump body to put under my flat bed and hired Jan’s brother, Jackie, to help me install it on the truck. I paid him in manure. By the time we finished, I had a flatbed dump truck and he had manure up to the windows of his house. On the day of the inaugural use of my new dump truck, I was so proud. I was taking “one small step for man and one giant leap for mankind.” This would revolutionize the manure/hay/dirt business. I felt much like Bill Gates when he came up with his first personal computer. Surely, I was destined for fame and fortune, like Bill. What a day that was going to be! I hired a friend to help me that day because I had so many loads to make. I wasn’t sure I could get it all done even with a dump truck. After all, we still had to load it all up with shovels. (By that time I was a two-shovel operation.) We loaded the truck with top soil and drove to the home of our first customer. The time had finally arrived for the fi rst automated dump. We backed into position, put the dump into gear, and released the clutch. You can’t imagine my excitement as I saw that dump bed begin to rise. My heart was in my throat! The dump eased slowly 28

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upward, creaking as it went. Just when it reached the point where dirt began to trickle off, the dump mechanism broke. The bed full of top soil fell with a boom. It fell so hard that my friend’s head hit the top of the cab. My hopes were dashed! All that work and manure for nothing. To make things worse, we had to shovel all that dirt off by hand. I had never felt so low in all my life up to that time. But I did get the dump truck fi xed later and was able to use it in my business after all. Shortly after Jan and I married, I became part-time minister of music at First Baptist Church in Anthony, New Mexico. Now I was not only in business and in the air force, but I was also in the ministry. What to do with my spare time became a dilemma. We would drive thirty miles to the church on Sunday morning, spend the afternoon with a different family each week, and drive home after the Sunday night service. On Wednesday nights, we would drive up for the service and choir practice and back afterward. We enjoyed it, even though we didn’t have much time to do anything else. Jan had a Volkswagen with the controls on the wrong side. We would drive to church in it and people thought Jan was always driving. She was on the driver’s side. Just driving down the road, we would get a lot of double takes. Americans weren’t used to seeing the driver on the right side of the car. We had a lot of fun out of that car. I still planned to become a farmer and rancher after my air force hitch was up. Jan and I had discussed this many times, even before we were married. I also planned to serve as part-time minister of music wherever we might live. I was sure by then that God had not really called me into a full-time church music career. With that goal in mind, I no longer even considered the possibility of returning to college. After all, I had never liked school anyway! My early success in business caused me to develop a healthier self-image. I also read a lot of self-help books and materials every chance I got. This helped me in my everyday life, but there was still a longing in my heart for the reality of God. I remained very dogmatic in my approach to Christianity. I was trying to fit God into my image of Him, instead of letting Him make me into His image. That is a common mistake for legalistic Christians. I tried desperately to take 29

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control of my life and do it my way. I still tried to remain moral and ethical in everything I did, but it didn’t seem to be enough. Trying to unify all the different compartments of my life continued to prove very difficult! My effort to become successful brought on one more dilemma: what if I became wealthy? After all, I knew what the Bible said about a rich man. “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of Heaven.” How would that affect me? I could just see a long, thin, bloody camel after that process. I didn’t want to be long or bloody. Thin wouldn’t be so bad! I wanted to be a millionaire, but I thought it had to be against God’s will. If I set such a goal, I would have to consciously go against God’s will or justify it in my own mind. This was a problem that I dealt with for many years. I hadn’t realized that the Scripture went on to say, “With God, all things are possible.” Jan graduated from college in May 1965, an honor student with a major in sociology. I had to remain in service until November of that year. I felt our lives were on hold until I could finish my military obligation. I could hardly wait to get out so life could begin for us. We took a vacation to Colorado that summer and fell in love with the beauty of the mountains around Durango and Pagosa Springs. We decided to move there and begin ranching. What an adventure that would be! Jan put in an application at the department of welfare in Durango and was offered a job as a caseworker. She was to begin work on October 1, 1965. I applied for an early discharge. I was not notified of the approval until noon, September 24. By five o’clock that afternoon, I was a civilian. I was so happy that I could hardly believe it. We sold our house, dump truck, and two shovels, quit the manure and hay business, and moved to Colorado. I have always had a problem with those people who constantly say, “I am stuck in this town (or this job) and can never get out.” That is usually an excuse for doing nothing about their plight. After all, there is a road that leads in at least four directions from any town and at least that many from any job. Believe me: we never thought twice about being impulsive! I would hate to wake up an old man and 30

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be sorry for all the things I had not done. I never needed a bucket list because I have done everything that I ever wanted to. Most people don’t even begin to live life until it is too late. We were not going to let that happen to us!

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C h apt er 6

Can It Get Any Colder?

e loaded all our possessions on two trailers and headed for Durango, Colorado. When we arrived, it was late fall with beautiful colors and crisp mornings. There were even signs of early snow, a phenomenon we had not experienced too many times where we came from. I felt that I had a new lease on life. I always liked new beginnings with new challenges. Jan was also looking forward to what might lie ahead. It is a good thing that God provided me with such an understanding wife. Some women would not like such adventures as we have had over our lifetime. I have seen many men who did not reach their full potential because of the fears of their wives. I have also seen men who used their wives as an excuse for not fulfi lling their dreams. I thank God every day for a supportive wife. The move to Colorado was indeed challenging. We arrived with all our belongings and no place to live—a small inconvenience. We found a duplex that would fit our needs, but it wouldn’t be available for a few days. The Realtor introduced us to his daughter and son-in-law who invited us to stay with them on their ranch until our duplex became available. When the time came, they even helped us move. I helped them on the ranch during the time we stayed with them. By doing so, I more than earned our keep. Can you imagine them taking in total strangers? That’s what they did. What a blessing they were. Melvin and Wanda Cruse became some

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of our best friends. Walking by faith is amazing. You get to experience some incredible things and meet some incredible people. We found a small Baptist church in Durango and joined immediately. They took us in like long-lost relatives. Before long, we had more friends than you could imagine. This was very gratifying to Jan, as she had never been away from home and family. We didn’t have many close friends in El Paso because our lives revolved around her family. In Durango, all our spare time was taken up with friends and church activities. It was obvious that we were not able to start ranching immediately because we didn’t have the capital. My former business had provided us with a good living but did not generate the kind of money that was need to lease or buy land, cattle, and equipment for such a venture. I had never borrowed very much money, and since my net worth was inadequate the banks were not interested in loaning me enough money to go into ranching. I knew that we would have to work our way into such a venture. After all, Rome wasn’t built in a day. I looked for suitable work and found it driving a cattle truck. I had never driven a tractor-trailer rig loaded with cattle on winding mountain roads before, so I nearly found myself in over my head. But I learned quickly, even though the risks were great. It was a dangerous business that I found exhilarating. Winter came quickly to Colorado and driving those icy roads was harrowing at times. I didn’t recognize the danger as much then as I do now. I look back on those times and recognize that God was holding me in the palm of His hand. I think now of the many times I could have gone off a cliff, and I realize that He was there all the time. Work slowed in the snowy season, so I was forced to sit at home while Jan went off to work every day. I didn’t like that at all. I always believed the man was to be the breadwinner, so my ego couldn’t stand much of that. I began to look around for some work that would get me closer to my dream of being a rancher as well as provide us with a living. I found a job working on a ranch during the slow trucking season. 33

Bob Salley

This job also provided a house so we moved from our duplex to the ranch. The main problem with that house was inadequate heating. The only heat available was a coal stove in the living room, and since I had never used one of those we were cold all the time. If it had not been for our electric blanket, we would have frozen to death in those frigid temperatures. Each morning I would jump out of bed, quickly build a fi re in the stove, and run back to the warmth of the bed. After the house warmed up a little, Jan and I would get up and get ready for work. With only an electric heater to heat the bathroom, it was almost impossible to get it warm enough to take a bath. Believe me: we had to sponge off regularly, and when we were brave enough to take a tub bath it was a quick one! Even though the house was a disaster, we had fun living there. Our friends from town would come out and go sledding almost every night. We really had some good times. We got snowed in one day and neither us could get out of the driveway to go to work. Our phone was out so I had to walk in the snow to our neighbors’ house about a mile away and use their phone to call our bosses to tell them we couldn’t make it in. That was an experience we had never had before, therefore a new adventure to add to our repertoire of experiences. It was growing by leaps and bounds. Helen and Jim, Jan’s mother and brother, came to visit us for Christmas. While we were at work, Helen cleaned the ashes out of the stove. She had to make several trips to empty it. Ashes had really built up over the time we lived there. She had to chip the ice away from the coal and bring it in to build a fire. By the time we got home, she had such a fire going that the heat from the stovepipe had melted a hole in the ceiling. She was tired of being cold! She knew how to use that stove because of her past experience. She had never burned coal, but it wasn’t that different from wood or cow chips. She taught us a lot about using a coal stove! Even so, we were tired of living in that rattletrap of a house! 34

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I quit the ranch job because it was not getting us any closer to actually ranching, and besides, the man I worked for was hard to deal with. He treated me like a second-class citizen. That didn’t set well with me at all! We found a place closer to town and rented it. That was a much better place to live and was also on a better road, but it didn’t have a sledding hill. An acquaintance wanted me to drive a cattle truck for him and I did so. Even though he couldn’t keep me busy all the time, he did provide enough work to get by. This time I wasn’t gone as much as before. Most of my trips were short, but occasionally I was gone overnight. Some of my driving experiences put me in dangerous situations. I had to cross mountain passes that were narrow, steep, and curvy. If you lost your brakes, it would be all over. You would quickly build up speed and be unable to negotiate a curve and go off the mountain. It happened to people often. Some of the trucks I drove were not well maintained, so I had to use a great deal of caution. Imagine driving in those conditions, and add a solid sheet of ice. I have been over some of those mountains with it snowing so hard that you couldn’t see fi fty feet in front of you. Many times I had to put chains on the pulling wheels in order to keep from spinning out. I remember one trip when I was hauling cattle to Phoenix and bringing cottonseed meal back. The trip was relatively uneventful until I got back to within fi fty miles of Durango. I ran into a snowstorm on the mountain passes and did not have any chains with me. I was totally unprepared for what was ahead. I thought if I could get up enough speed for the next hill, I would be able to make it up without spinning out. You had to be sure not to let those wheels begin to spin the slightest bit or you would stop. It wasn’t long before I spun out on one of the grades. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I could go no farther. I began to spin the tires until they would break through the snow down to the pavement and I would inch forward. After doing that several times, I would clear out a path several yards long and then back down to where I started. That would give me enough distance to get a running start to carry me well 35

Bob Salley

beyond the path I had cleared before I spun out again. I did that over and over until I would eventually get to the top of the hill. It was slow going, and I was impatient. I wanted to get home and see Jan. On one hill, I started backing down to get a running start and I couldn’t stop. With the brakes locked, I was sliding backward. All I could do was try to keep the trailer from jackknifi ng or going off the cliff, which was approaching very quickly. No matter what I did, I couldn’t stop that truck. I was just opening the door to jump out when the truck stopped in a small snow bank on the very edge of the cliff. By the time I stopped, I was shaking all over. I got out of the truck to see what I could do next and discovered I could do nothing. Almost immediately a sand truck came by and stopped. The driver asked if he could help me. He said, “You are sitting very close to that cliff. I had better give you a tow to the top of this grade, otherwise you might topple over.” He hooked onto my truck and pulled me all the way to the top of the mountain. That guy must have been an angel disguised as a sand-truck driver. I know God had him where I needed him at the right time. Isn’t God’s sovereignty amazing! I determined that I would get that truck going so fast that I couldn’t possibly spin out again. I accelerated down that grade and got the speed up to about sixty miles per hour in order to attack the next hill. It worked! I cruised right up every hill before me, and since there were no long upward grades left before Durango, I thought I could make it without a mishap. I had to be sure that my speed at the top of any given hill was not so great that I would lose it on one of the curves. I knew the road very well, so was able to arrive in Durango safely. On one trip, while crossing an Indian reservation in New Mexico, I hit a cow. There was a free range and the cows grazed, without fences, right up to the roadway. They were used to traffic on those roads, so I wasn’t very concerned. As I was approaching a bridge, a cow ran right out in front of me. I couldn’t stop, so I hit her broadside, knocked her into the railing of the bridge. She bounced off the railing, back into my path, and then I ran right over the top of her. What a ride! I was able to maintain control of the truck until I could get it stopped. I got out to see what damage I had done. There was no apparent damage to 36

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the truck, but I couldn’t say the same for the cow! She was hamburger. Afraid of being thrown into an Indian jail for killing one of their cows, I got back in my truck and took off as quickly as possible. After passing Cuba, New Mexico, I threw a driveline out of the truck. Maybe it was damaged after all! I had to call my boss and have him come and get the truck fi xed so I could get home. Jan had some adventures of her own dealing with some of her clients at the welfare department. There were some hard lessons for her, in that she had never experienced dealing with the problems some of those people had. Some were of their own making and others were circumstances beyond their control. The constant stream of problems that she dealt with took a lot of wisdom and judgment on her part. It was not quite like what she had learned in school. She handled it quite well, but she did see some of the abuses of the welfare system that occur. It was difficult not to become hard and calloused. All during that winter, my work was spotty and it was difficult to make ends meet. Jan was bringing in most of the income, and I didn’t like that at all! Some people might like that arrangement, but not me! I found it difficult sitting at home for long periods of time. I like to have a project of some sort. I grew more and more restless. My goal, when we moved to Colorado, was to become a rancher. I was no closer to that goal than when we fi rst arrived. With so much time off, I began to rethink my goals. What did God want me to do and what did I want to do myself? Merging my will and God’s will was again a problem. One day, I decided to go back to El Paso and start over. I discussed it with Jan and we decided to make a trip there to see what opportunities we might find. I found a job with Peyton Packing Company as a truck driver. We decided that this was something that we should do, so we drove back to Durango, quit our jobs, and moved to El Paso. We had only lived in Durango for four months, but those were some of the most memorable times of our lives. Had the move to Colorado been impulsive? Maybe, but we wouldn’t take anything for the experience.

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C h apt er 7

Two Became Three

e rented a nice house in the Rio Grande Valley, about three miles from our first home. It was a quiet neighborhood close to shopping, church, and everything we wanted. Jan put in her application at the department of child welfare in El Paso and was hired as a caseworker. I began my work driving a truck for Peyton Packing Company. Another driver and I would take a trailer load of meat products to a location several hundred miles away and deliver to grocery stores. We delivered to large supermarkets, drive-in groceries, and country stores. At each place, we unloaded meat. Sometimes, it was in boxes; sometimes it was a forequarter or a hindquarter. It was messy and difficult work, but it paid the bills. Sometimes, a person has to do things he doesn’t like to do, in order to get to a place where he can do what he does like to do. That is just a part of life. These are transitional times. The truck-driving jobs were transitional times for me. I knew I wasn’t going to be a career truck driver. There is nothing wrong with driving trucks, but it wasn’t my life’s ambition. My experience in business whetted my appetite for being my own boss. I found it difficult working for someone else, no matter how nice the bosses were or what they paid. As I worked, I dreamed of ways that I could start my own business. I kept my eyes out for opportunities. I

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knew that I could always go back into the manure and hay business, but I wanted a new challenge and didn’t relish the idea of shoveling manure again! The desire to be successful and even wealthy continued to follow me. I wanted to do something significant. I wanted people to remember me, and the only way I knew to do that was with wealth and success. I was still wrestling with the concept of the camel and the needle’s eye. Many times, our wrong concepts of God affect us more than our right concepts. After Jan and I had been living in El Paso for a short time, we found out she was pregnant. We were ecstatic! I had always wanted to have several children, but we fi nally had agreed to have two. We wanted a boy and a girl. The boy was to be named Ted Alan and the girl Robin Annette. I could hardly wait to see which name would apply fi rst. Even though we had a baby on the way and Jan would quit work when he or she was born, I left a secure job to go into private business once again. I know that some people would say this was not a good time to start a business. I wasn’t afraid of the change or the challenge. You know what the Nike advertisement says: “Just Do It.” I found an old air force friend, Kelly Vance, who had stayed in El Paso, and we formed a partnership that we named Salley and Vance Painting Contractors. The name implies what kind of business it was. My job was to handle the business end and Kelly would see after the painting. I made contacts with the VA and FHA and began bidding on remodeling and painting their foreclosed homes. Some of these houses needed small repairs and others needed major repairs. Sometimes, we had to subcontract jobs that we could not handle, but we did most of the work ourselves. Sometimes, I did some of the labor myself, depending on how much work we had, but most of my time was taken up bidding new jobs, purchasing materials, and delivering them to the job site. We had plenty of work from the very beginning, and with little start-up costs we became profitable in short order. There was little danger we would get rich in this line of work, but we were making

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more money than we could working for someone else. We also liked being our own bosses. After several months, Kelly decided to move away from El Paso. I immediately bought him out and became sole proprietor of Salley and Vance Painting Contractors. I didn’t change the name because I was afraid that doing so might hurt the business. I enjoyed being on my own without a partner. It gave me freedom to make all the business decisions without having to check with anyone else. I will admit it was more difficult to operate without him to see after the work. Jan just kept getting bigger and bigger all the while. The doctor told us that she would deliver in September. October passed, and still no baby. Jan quit her job well before she was due, and we were all set. Every time she went to church, people would ask, “Haven’t you had that baby yet?” She would come home crying and saying, “Can’t they see I haven’t had that baby yet?” She quit going to church the last few weeks before the baby came. She was tired of answering the same old question. On Friday, November 12, 1966, Jan went to the doctor and he told her if she hadn’t gone into labor by Monday, they would induce her. By Monday, November 15, she still hadn’t gone into labor. I took her to the hospital and they began the procedure to induce labor. It was slow at first, but as the day wore on the pains grew more and more intense. Finally at 11:35 p.m., Ted Alan was born. I was a wreck, not to mention Jan. All day Helen, Jan’s mother, kept calling me and giving instructions. She didn’t have enough courage to come to the hospital. I told her, “If you don’t have enough guts to come down here yourself, stop giving me advice.” Ted had big hands, a big head, and was bald except for a long shock of sandy red hair on the very back of his head. He looked like Larry, one of the three stooges. He was red and as wrinkled as a saddle blanket, but he was beautiful to us. We were very proud parents. Helen came down to see Jan and Ted after everything was all right. What courage! I was still pretty put out with her. When we took this wonderful son home, we found out, to our dismay, that he didn’t sleep all night. Jan had a difficult delivery, so, in 40

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the early days, it became my responsibility to get up, feed him, and get him back to sleep. When he began to cry during the night, Jan would punch me and say, “The baby is crying.” She milked that malady for as long as she could. After she got better, she would get up and change his diaper, but it remained my job to feed him and rock him back to sleep. I would change a wet diaper, but when it came to a dirty one, well, that was a horse of a different color. I wanted to start his potty training as soon as possible. Before long, I was the only one who could get him to sleep. I would rock him and shake him, and soon his eyes would roll back in his head and I knew sleep wasn’t very far away so I would shake even harder. It worked. Some people said that I was going to addle his brain. I didn’t. He turned out way above normal. I had done very little with my musical gift after we moved to Colorado. I did sing in the choir and do the special music when asked, but beyond that, my gift lay rather dormant. In 1967, I recognized the fact that God was still speaking to me about using that gift in His service. I still didn’t know exactly what He wanted me to do, but I knew it was something. Jan and I discussed it and determined that we would make ourselves available to His will, whatever it might be. I still couldn’t think of any way to use that gift in ministry, other than in the local church. This was all preparation for what God was going to do. Making that kind of decision meant I would have to reconsider returning to college. I decided I was willing even to do that if that was what God wanted. I transferred all my credits to the University of Texas at El Paso and continued working on a music degree. UTEP didn’t have a church music program, so I majored in music education. During that school year, I carried a full load in college, sang in the choir, ran my business, and once again became minister of music at Ysleta Baptist church. That really kept me busy, but I did always like a challenge! I was not able to devote as much time to my painting contracting business as I had in the past, so my profits dropped considerably. That meant that Jan, to my dismay, had to return to work. There were no openings at the welfare department at that time, so she took a job as an elementary school teacher. She did not like teaching at all and she found 41

Bob Salley

it difficult to leave Ted at home with a babysitter. We hired a live-in maid who also watched Ted all during the day. That was not a good situation, but it was the best we could do at the time. It hurt me to see Jan so unhappy. I didn’t like the idea of her having to work, let alone having to do something she detested! It was hard on both of us, but by God’s grace we made it through that difficult year. My grades improved dramatically from my previous educational experience. Having a family gave me more purpose than before. I had grown up quite a bit as well. I drew an educational subsidy from the GI bill, which helped me pay for my school expenses. After a few months at UTEP, I realized I needed to return to Baylor and finish my degree. Jan and I prayed about it and decided that would be the right move. We decided that when I finished my spring semester, we would close the business, Jan would quit her teaching job, I would resign my position at church, and we would move lock, stock, and barrel to Waco, Texas. That is exactly what we did!

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C h apt er 8

Baylor Days

ere we were, embarking on yet another new adventure. I was somewhat reticent this time, but it seemed the right thing to do. I have always found that God provides a way when you are trying to do His will. Some people never experience that because they never get beyond their comfort zone. The move to Waco was way beyond our comfort zone, but we launched out by faith! I look back and realize that God had His hand on us all the time. Unlike in the move to Colorado, I went ahead of Jan and Ted to make preparation for moving. The first thing had to be to fi nd a job. I was hired as a car salesman with Marstaller Motors. They handled Lincoln and Mercury automobiles. I had never done much selling before and didn’t know how I would do. I didn’t set any sales records, but I managed to earn my keep. The second thing on my agenda was to find a place to live. I rented a large house with nine acres on Orchard Lane for one hundred dollars per month. Jan never got a chance to approve of that house before we moved in, and I didn’t know how she would like it. After Jan finished her school year and quit her teaching job, I went back to El Paso and moved her and Ted, along with all our belongings, to the house in Waco. She loved the place. There was plenty of space for everything. She enjoyed decorating the house on our limited budget. We had no air-conditioning, so we nearly burned up that summer. Getting used to the humidity again, after being in El Paso for so long,

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was a chore. The sheets seemed damp when we went to bed at night. We had an attic fan that worked efficiently but not effectively. Even though it would almost pull the covers off the bed, it pulled hot, humid air through the windows. I guess a little sweat never hurt anyone. By that time, Ted was a toddler. Jan and I bought him a puppy and they had a lot of fun out in the big yard. I guess that was when he began to love the country, like his mom and dad did. Jan tied a small cowbell on Ted so she could keep up with him. As long as she could hear the bell, she knew everything was all right. Let that bell quit ringing, and she would hunt him up immediately. Jan was, once again, a stay-athome mom, and she loved it! I didn’t stay in the automobile business very long. I was really looking for some kind of work that would allow me to go to school as well as provide for my family. I drove a dump truck for a while and I kept my eyes open for just what I needed. As fall approached and time to enter Baylor, I found work at A. O. Smith’s bomb plant. This, after all, was at the height of the Vietnam War. I worked the night shift, between midnight and 8:00 a.m. This would allow me to attend class during the day. It was a miracle that Baylor would take me back as a student when I had performed so badly the fi rst time around. Rejection never even crossed my mind. God provided, and they accepted me. After classes began in September, I would work all night, go home, take a bath, and head for Baylor. After classes I went home and tried to sleep for a while before going back to work. Every day was the same except for Saturdays and Sundays. On those days, I tried to study and rest. It was a grinding schedule and wore on me considerably. I began directing the youth choir at Columbus Avenue Baptist Church and also led the music in the early worship service. That made my schedule even tighter! I began wondering if I would be able to handle everything that I had on my plate. I found it increasingly more difficult to stay awake in class. The professors must have wondered what my problem was. Just when I thought I would collapse from my schedule, the strenuous physical labor at work, and very little sleep, we found out 44

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that the house we were renting had been sold out from under us. We were going to have to move. How could things get worse? Our attitudes became very negative, and our spirits were low. Maybe we had made a mistake after all. I began thinking about dropping out of school and forgetting about God’s call once and for all. One day, I found out that the dean of men’s office at Baylor needed a dormitory director at Brooks Hall. The man who started the year at that position had quit in the middle of a semester and left the university in a bad situation. I went home and told Jan I was going to apply for the position. She said, “We won’t get it. Nothing good ever happens to us.” That shows how depressed we were at the time. Jan has always been a very positive person, but she was worried. Everyone who held a dormitory director’s job, according to what I knew, was in graduate school. Would they consider someone who didn’t have his bachelor’s degree? I decided to apply anyway. After all, the answer is always no until you ask! I interviewed for the job with all of the positive attitude that I could muster. Could I handle the job? Of course! God really came through for us! I got the job. If I had ever seen a miracle, I saw one then. This was an impossible situation until God stepped in. The impossible is not a problem for God. Not only did He provide for our physical needs, but He also provided us with the assurance that we were in the right place doing the right thing. He validated us! It is great to be validated by God! He rewarded our faith—the faith that brought us to Waco. I don’t think we could have received that kind of validation from God if we had remained in El Paso. When God speaks, it is time to act! God has promised to be with us always, but that promise has conditions. We must be found faithful. We must abide or remain in Him. We must move at His command. When we do so, those conditions are met and we find ourselves in the place of blessing! We are in the position to be blessed. The new job provided a salary, an apartment in Brooks Hall, free meals in the dining hall, health insurance, and nine semester hours free of charge each semester. I was allowed to attend classes during work hours. I made my own schedule. I also received full faculty status, which 45

Bob Salley

allowed us to attend all Baylor functions free of charge. That meant all athletic events. All our problems were solved in one fell swoop! That was, by far, the most dramatic answer to prayer I had ever seen. I couldn’t believe our good fortune! I knew that God was real, His promises were true, and that He cared for us very much. We moved into the apartment and I began working with the students in the dormitory. I decided that I would run that place with an iron fist, requiring strict discipline. It didn’t take long to realize that I had my hands full. I couldn’t be everywhere at one time, even though I tried to be. They kept us up half the night with their pranks. They stayed up late and saw that we did too. One night, they all started yelling out the windows at one time. I ran outside and started yelling back at them, trying to quiet them down. Some were whistling and some were blowing horns or using any device to make noise. I ran into one room on the ground floor where a boy was blowing a large horn out the window. He didn’t know that I was standing right behind him as he continued to blow his horn. I spoke and he froze mid blow. What a sight! I asked, “Do you think that’s funny?” When he turned around to face me, his face was as white as a sheet. “No, sir!” he answered. I replied, “How would you like to blow that horn for Dean Dubois (the dean of men)?” He answered, “I don’t think I would like that.” I took his horn and had him report to my office the next day. Everyone finally quieted down and went to bed. The next day, the young man came to my office, as required, and I, after reprimanding him, gave him back his horn. I was very upset at the time, but as I look back on it, that was one of the funniest experiences of my life. One special trick the students loved to pull was throwing firecrackers down the stairwell. It was impossible to tell who did it unless you caught them in the act. It would echo loudly and ring throughout the building. Once in a while, they would set off smoke bombs or launch water balloons out the windows or down the stairwell. There was never a dull moment! They weren’t really doing anything worse than some of the stunts I pulled when I was a student. I saw an old classmate at homecoming and, when I told him about my job, he said, “I can’t believe that they 46

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would put you in charge of a dormitory when you were the only person I knew that could tear one down.” Oh well! “The chicken will always come home to roost.” “You reap what you sow.” Such quotations were appropriate at that time. I finally learned to deal with those things that were serious and ignore some of the pranks. That made it easier to coexist. A couple of times, I found marijuana in the dormitory. We caught one boy with some and he ended up being convicted of distribution. He was sentenced to prison. It still breaks my heart to think about that, but I couldn’t just ignore it! I was doing my job. Even though there were some difficult situations during my tenure as a dormitory director, they were some really good times. I saw many of those young men go on to be solid, productive people. Some are now doctors, lawyers, politicians, teachers, and military officers, and some are even pastor churches. It is gratifying to know that I may have played a small part in preparing them for life. Ted enjoyed living in the dormitory. He would ride his tricycle in the quadrangle and play with his friend, Steve, who was the son of our neighboring dorm director. Ted and the students got along well. Jan began working at the Veteran’s Administration regional office as contract representative. She worked part time, helping veterans who called in on the phone. It was a great job, and she enjoyed being a service to the veterans. The extra income helped stabilize our financial situation and provided security that we had not known in some time. Praise the Lord! About a year after we moved to Waco, Jan’s family left El Paso and moved there also. We enjoyed having them nearby. In fact, Jim, her younger brother, moved into Brooks Hall with us and started school even before his mother and dad completed their move to Waco. Jim had not been able to stand for Jan to be six hundred miles away during that first year we lived in Waco. She had always been like a second mother to him, instead of a sister. She was, after all, twelve years older than him and had essentially raised him. He was much happier in Waco with us than he had been in El Paso. Jan’s family lived in town while we were at Baylor but later moved 47

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out in the country to run a chicken farm with 125,000 chickens. They were kept busy, taking care of that many chickens. Jim was in high school by that time. He wasn’t very helpful on the farm. He, after all, had always been a city boy. He also had never been the outside type. Jan’s brother, Jackie, and his wife, Bobbie, remained in El Paso. We didn’t get to see them and their two children, Becky and Paul, very often, however we did visit them on rare occasions and they came to visit us from time to time. They eventually moved to Temple, Texas, only fifty miles from Waco. That allowed us to visit with them more often. I did much better in school while I was at Baylor. I had much more time to study and that made a difference. I maintained a B average. That was really good for me. I was never the scholar that Jan had been! I majored in music until I was a senior, when I suddenly realized that I couldn’t graduate without passing a piano proficiency test. I certainly was not proficient as a pianist and knew that I still wouldn’t be at graduation time. My one song, Jesus, Keep Me near the Cross wasn’t going to cut it with the music faculty. I was faced with a question: should I change my major? I was also faced with another question: how would my inability to graduate with a music degree affect a potential career in church music? I found myself wondering, once again, what God’s will was in this situation. I struggled with this dilemma for many years. When faced with a dilemma, people often question how that affects their concept of God’s will for their lives. This was one of those times for me. It would be much easier if God would just give us an outline of His will, then we could simply follow it. He doesn’t do it that way because there would be no need for faith. The Scripture says, “But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that cometh to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him” (Heb. 11:6 KJV). You won’t diligently seek Him if you have all the answers in advance! Many times, finding God’s will is a day-to-day quest. That has certainly been my experience! Sometimes, people set their own goals without considering God’s leadership and later fi nd themselves way out in left 48

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field. Returning from left field is not impossible, but difficult. I know because I have been there many times. As a result of this dilemma, I began to explore other career possibilities. One of those was college administration. I liked my work at Baylor and decided that I could minister in that capacity. I checked into the degree programs that would help me in that field, and decided to enter law school. I applied for the Baylor Law School, which offered a program that allowed an undergraduate who had the prerequisites for a bachelor’s degree, excluding a major, to be accepted. After completing one year in this program, the student could earn a bachelor’s degree with a major in law. In two more years, he could earn a juris doctorate. That sounded like just the ticket to me! I took the entrance examination, passed it, and was accepted to law school in the fall semester. Within a week of registration, I decided I didn’t want to be in school for another three years so changed my major to English instead. I have never regretted that decision! During that fi nal year in college, I took only literature courses. You can imagine how much reading I had to do. I had to study for several hours each day just to keep up. I could hardly wait to graduate. Knowing that work in college administration would require graduate school, I began rethinking my career choice once again. I always tried to talk God into anything I wanted to do. If I continued that process for long enough, I could make myself believe that my desires reflected God’s will for my life. It is really difficult to hear God when I was doing all the talking! I had to recognize my mistakes after I had made them instead of before or during. God allowed me to “bull with my own head,” as my father used to say. Waiting for God’s will required waiting, and that required patience. I wanted patience, but I wanted it immediately! We constantly ask God to fulfi ll the desires of our hearts when we really need to be seeking to fulfi ll the desires of His heart. We would find His direction a lot faster and a lot clearer if we did. Once again, I began telling the Lord that I wanted to be a farmer. This was a lifelong dream of mine. The possibility began to sound so good to me that I began making efforts to make that dream come true. 49

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I found 125 acres with a small, four-room house in Leroy, Texas, just outside Waco. I split the purchase into two transactions: eight-five acres and the house that I bought for $21,250 on a VA loan and the remaining forty acres that I bought on a Texas Veterans loan. I put none of my own money into the deal. That was my first encounter with creative financing. There were many more yet to come!

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Green Acres

e finally had a farm. How could we make a living on it? That was a horse of a different color. As I contemplated how to make farming pay, I decided to explore starting a dairy. It would not be feasible to build the necessary improvements on the home place, so I decided to see if I could lease a diary that was already built. It didn’t take long before I found a 120-acre dairy farm for lease. Never mind that it was eighteen miles away from the farm that we had purchased. It was fully equipped except for a milk tank. It had a parlor-milking barn, hay barn, calf barn, and a small house for a hired hand. I made arrangements to lease it, effective after my college graduation. I was a farmer, at last. As graduation grew near, we became very excited about the prospect of a new life on the farm. After trading a boat for an M Farmall tractor, I plowed the fields on the home place in preparation for planting them in Sudan grass. That crop would provide hay for my cows during the coming winter. I borrowed the disc plow that I used in plowing and also borrowed the grain drill that I used to plant the grass. So far, so good! We were still living at Baylor but anxious to move to the little house on the prairie. One day while I was working on the farm, Jan sent word that she was sick and I needed to get home immediately. I left my work and headed back to our apartment in Brooks Hall, where I found her

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doubled up with pain. I rushed her to the hospital, where they examined her and determined that she had a growth on one of her ovaries the size of a grapefruit. She was scheduled for immediate surgery. When it was over, they found that the growth was benign. There was no sign of cancer. What a relief! They left one ovary and the uterus, so having more children was still a possibility. Jan was only twenty-seven years old when this happened. We still wanted to have a girl, but our future was too uncertain at the time so we postponed that until we were better established. After all, there would still plenty of time later. We didn’t anticipate any problems by waiting for a while longer. During her recovery, Jan spent the days with her family out at the chicken farm. That worked for me. It wasn’t very far from our farm, so I could take my meals with them. Since Helen was such a good cook, I was very happy with that arrangement. After Jan was well again, she went back to work. Everything was back on track. Graduation time finally came. I received my degree in English with a minor in music. Even though I was a college graduate, I didn’t feel that much smarter. I had, however, been able to discipline myself to stay with it until I graduated. That was an accomplishment! That signified that I had finished something. I had never failed to provide for my family, but I had been a bit fl ighty at times! I’m glad Jan had patience. God truly blessed me when He gave her to me! I thought I was prepared for farming. After all, I had been around it all my life. I had milked a cow nearly every day of my life while I lived at home with my parents. Dad always had a place for us to farm even though he pastored a church full time. I had never tried to make a living farming, but I figured that if anyone else could do it, I could as well. We moved to Leroy when we left Baylor. I borrowed the money to buy a herd of Holstein cows. They are known for their heavy milk production. The cows were delivered one day in early June 1971. We milked them for the first time that evening. Jan and Ted were there to help, and my parents came from Louisiana for the occasion. We took pictures of everything as it happened. The cows were unfamiliar with the new surroundings, so we had some trouble getting some of them 52

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to go up the ramp into the barn. After all was said and done, the first milking went fairly smoothly. All was well! The next morning was a different story. I was alone and quickly realized that I had my hands full. Milking fifty cows by yourself is a chore when you know what is going on, but really difficult when you don’t have a clue. Some of the cows took readily to the ramp that led into the barn, but others had to be persuaded! I would milk most of the cows without having to go out and push the stragglers into the lane that led to the barn. With them, it was back and forth, back and forth. Eventually I finished and made the eighteen-mile trek back to the home place. I was proud! Being a farmer wasn’t so bad. It didn’t take many mornings of rising at 3:00 a.m. to realize what I had let myself in for. While driving to the dairy every morning, I found it very difficult to stay awake. It is only by God’s grace that I didn’t have an accident on the trip over. I never did! I managed to make it safely every morning. I had never been afraid of hard work but had little experience with fourteen- to sixteen-hour workdays, seven days a week. I would fi nish milking by 8:00 a.m., drive home, eat breakfast, and then bale hay all day. Each afternoon, at about 4:00 p.m., I would load my trailer full of hay, haul it to the dairy, unload and stack it, and then begin the afternoon milking. I would finish and make it back home between 7:00 and 8:00 p.m. That made a full day! After supper, it didn’t take long before I was ready for bed! Each day was the same, except Sunday. By that time, I was minister of music at Emmanuel Baptist Church in Waco. That made Sundays more complicated. I still had to handle both milkings but also had to direct the music at the morning and evening worship services as well. Sometimes, Jan and Ted would help me on Sunday. Even then, I would have to dress for church in the barn. I hope I didn’t carry the smell of the barn with me. No one ever complained, but you have to remember these were very nice people. They didn’t complain that much about anything. Jan continued to work part time at the VA even after we moved to the farm. That caused me, on many occasions, to have to see after Ted 53

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during the day. On days when I tried to take a nap, I would tell him not to get off the front porch. Even though Ted was only four years old, he would obey me and stay where he was supposed to. One day, while cutting hay, I allowed Ted to ride on the tractor with me. After a little while, I noticed him rubbing his eyes. I stopped the tractor and looked to see what the problem was. His eyes were badly swollen. That was the first time we recognized that he had hay fever like his mom. After he reached mowing age, he got out of a lot of work. After several months of working alone, I increased my herd to seventy-five cows and hired a man and his son to help with the milking. They did pretty well for a while, but before long, they became lazy and uncaring. The milk production went down as a result. A mastitis problem emerged and the overall health of the cows began to deteriorate, so I had to fire my hands. I found another man who was better, but he didn’t do the job like I did when I was handling all the milking. With that many cows, I couldn’t do all the work without help. I quickly learned that increased production does not always result in increased profit! This was a lesson that I have relearned several other times in my business career as well! Jan didn’t take to farm work very well at all. She tried, but the results were not always what I wanted. One day, I put her on the tractor to bale hay, but she had trouble staying on the windrow. She asked, “How do you expect me to drive this tractor while looking backwards?” If you know anything about farming, you know that you have to drive any piece of equipment looking back at the work you are doing. She could not master that, so I had to take over and do it myself. I took some calves over to the home place for Jan to feed, saving me some time at the dairy. She was feeding milk replacer in a bucket with a nipple on it. All went well for a while, but one morning, after dressing for work, she went out to feed the calves. They started fighting over the bucket and spilled milk all over her. She picked up the bucket, with what was left of the milk, and threw it right in the calves’ faces. She yelled, “Here, if you want it, take it!” and stomped back in the house. She had to take another bath and put on clean clothes before he could go to work. I found out, once again, that I didn’t marry a 54

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farmer’s wife. I took the calves back to the dairy and fed them myself after that episode. Sometimes, Jan helped me milk. One day, she was sweet-talking one of the cows. It upset the old girl so much that she kicked me. From that day on, that cow would kick her milker off every time I milked her. I finally had to sell her because I could no longer handle her. I asked Jan never to talk to one of my cows again. She obliged! As I stated earlier, I continued in the music ministry at Emmanuel Baptist Church. We also led the youth ministry and found that very fulfi lling. We always had something going for the young people at our home in the country. They would come out and go on hayrides, play volleyball, or involve themselves in some other activity. Even though we were busy in church work, my spiritual condition continued as it had been for several years. I seemed stagnant. There was no noticeable growth. The practicality of Christianity seemed to elude me. I was dogmatic about my beliefs and my theology was correct, but I was missing something. Was the power of God available to people today, or had Christianity evolved to the point of being simply a standard for behavior or a form of religion that denied the power thereof? Was heaven to be our only reward, or could we appropriate God’s promised blessings in this life as well? These, among other questions, continued to dog me. I was busy not doing the wrong things, but was I doing the right things? There had to be more than this. How did one find a dynamic spiritual life? I had read about such lives, but I had seen very few! Meanwhile, back at the ranch, things took a turn for the worse in the dairy business. The price of feed went up dramatically and caused what little profit there had been to disappear. If it had not been for Jan’s job, I don’t know what we would have done. I tried to find other ways to supplement our dwindling income. I sold encyclopedias for a while. Everyone should experience that at least once! I got my real estate license but never did anything with it at the time. One day, a friend who was a real estate broker asked me to handle farm and ranch sales for his company. After much encouragement from Jan, I decided to give it a try. I kept the dairy going and let the hired 55

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man run it while I began to work in real estate. Everyone told me it would take six months to get to the point of making a living as a real estate salesman. That wasn’t true for me. I needed to be successful immediately and worked very hard. My sales took off immediately and my commissions quickly followed. When you’re hungry, you work harder. I was hungry to be successful. I found that I was a natural! I didn’t even know how to write a contract when I started, but my broker said, “Don’t worry about that! Just get the sellers and the buyers together and I will write the contracts and do the closings.” That system worked well for both of us. It didn’t take me long to learn to write my own contracts and I was off and running! I was really excited. The work was fun and I was a success. I stayed on the phone nearly all the time. The dairy business just dragged along, but I was able to make enough money in real estate to pay my bills. To me, that was all that mattered at the time. One day, Jan decided to go to her doctor and ask if she could have another baby. We were finally ready for our little girl. He dropped a bombshell by telling her she needed a complete hysterectomy. After her examination, Jan tried to go back and fi nish her workday but was so upset that she had to come home early. Now we were faced with the reality of never having any more children. We could not understand, at the time, why this would happen to us. Maybe we shouldn’t have waited so long. Sometimes, we follow God like driving the farm equipment that I mentioned before. We see it best when we look behind us. Looking back is a good way to check our progress and to see what God has done for us in the past, but too much looking back can be destructive. Trying to relive past events is futile! The past is past and we cannot change a single thing about it. Paul said, “Forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3: 13–14 KJV). God has since shown us that this was best for us. God indeed knows best! Jan had the operation, and it was successful. While she was in the 56

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hospital, I would visit her and use her phone to make real estate deals. (That was way before cell phones.) She got very upset thinking that real estate was more important to me than her. I told her I would come by and see her without using her phone. Soon she was released from the hospital and her recovery was fast and complete. The dairy continued to lose money, but I continued making up the losses with my real estate earnings. By that time, Dad was ready to retire from the pastorate, so I asked him to move to Waco and run the dairy for me. He agreed, and soon he and Mother joined all of us in Waco. He kept the hired man for a while then let him go, leaving all the work on his shoulders. The dairy had gotten into such bad shape that he was unable to turn it around. Jan urged me to get out of the dairy business, no matter what the cost. She said, “You can make it up very quickly in real estate.” It sounded as if she had a point. Sometimes, in business, you have to know when to cut your losses. This was one of those times. We sold everything, including our house and land at Leroy, and bought a house in Hewitt, a suburb of Waco. It took only eighteen months to pay off our losses from the dairy. I was no longer a farmer. I came to believe that if a person can make profit from farming, he could become a millionaire doing anything else. It is extremely difficult to farm profitably. It is always too hot or too cold or too dry or too wet. It is never just right. I found that it was more profitable to sell farms than to operate them! Jan was able to quit her job and stay at home with Ted. That was very gratifying for me. I strongly believe in having a mother involved full time in raising children, if at all possible. My mother had to work, but home and children were her first priority! With both parents involved in pursuing their own careers, the children suffer! I know that doesn’t make me popular with some readers, but I can’t help that. You can trace our juvenile delinquency problems directly back to the time when both parents began working outside the home. You may not want to face that, but it is true! It is impossible to have two or more agendas in one family without damaging its unity. Everyone in a family must have unity in working toward common priorities. 57

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I continued to do well in real estate, but a problem arose with an absentee owner. The man who leased the land that I had listed told me to stay off the property. He said that I was not representing the seller very well. How could I sell land that I couldn’t get access to? The man gave me such a hard time about it that I was intimidated. I had never experienced such confrontation in my whole life. It hurt me very badly for someone to question my integrity. I decided to sell real estate part time and take a full-time job inspecting nursing homes with the Texas Department of Health. My territory was East Texas. That was far enough from home that I could not come home at night. I bought a camp house on Lake Cherokee, just outside Longview. That allowed me to take Jan and Ted with me each week. They stayed at the house while I worked in the nursing homes. We had a great time in Longview. My schedule was not very demanding, so our family got to spend a lot of quality time together. We would fish, work on the house or in the yard, and take long walks along the road in front of our lake house. Ted would ride his small bicycle along with us. He loved coasting down one long hill every day. He would take his feet off the pedals and literally fly down that hill with his legs sticking out on both sides. After my week’s work was done, we would return to our home in Hewitt for the weekend. I was still the minister of music at the church in Waco so my church duties continued. I still was not finding the spiritual fulfi llment that I needed. I continued to wrestle with the same questions that I had had in the past. Maybe people tire of the search and settle into mediocrity, but God wouldn’t let me do that. There had to be a better way! Because of his November birthday, Ted was nearly seven years old before he started to school. That presented another problem. I could no longer take my family to East Texas every week. I knew I wouldn’t last very long without seeing my wife and son every day. It seems that our lives are always been full of dilemmas. What next?

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Revival

ac Gorham, a real estate broker who specialized in farms and ranches, asked me to join his firm as a salesman. Since farms and ranches were also my specialty, that was right down my alley. This was, indeed, the right move! Mac and I really worked well together. He was able to help me with some closings, let me draw upon some of his listings, and give me valuable advice. I became successful immediately. I began turning up new listings and made some quick sales. It wasn’t long before the commissions were flowing, and I was back on track. I never looked back. I was so glad to be free of the dairy—I felt like a new man! It had been some time since I had felt such freedom. Jan studied for the real estate test and obtained her license too. She was very good at it. She listed two houses and sold them both very quickly. When she had earned enough money to buy a dining room suite, end tables, and headboard for our bed, she quit and became a full-time housewife and mother again. That is what we had always wanted, so we were both very content. She never worked outside the home again. Ted entered first grade at Midway Elementary in 1973. He made friends quickly and did well in school. Ted was much like his dad—he didn’t particularly like school. One day, he said to me, “Dad, if Adam had not eaten that apple, I wouldn’t have to go to school.” He reasoned that there would be no school in a perfect world. Even so, he adjusted well.

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I continued to do well, and the money kept coming in. I was doing so well that I decided to buy a new 1974 Cadillac. Jan said she had always wanted to wait to buy a luxury car, because once she got one she would have nothing to look forward to if we bought one now. Nevertheless, we enjoyed the new car as well as a lot of other things that our newfound wealth afforded us. We weren’t really wealthy, but we felt like it. After all, wealth is relative. If one person has more money than you, then he is wealthy in your eyes. There is no magic formula for determining wealth. There is no barrier that you break through to become wealthy. The mark keeps moving. That is why wealth is so deceiving. Jan’s mother and dad gave up on the chicken farm and moved right across the street from us in Hewitt. We really enjoyed that. Helen became supervisor of the Midway school cafeteria. She was great at it. By that time, Jim had graduated from high school and was working as a telephone operator. Jack retired. To go to Grandma’s house, all Ted had to do was cross the street. It was handy having them around. In 1974, our pastor and minister of youth and education began planning a lay renewal for our church. I had never heard of one of those, but I was told that laymen would come to our church and conduct a marathon of meetings beginning on Friday evening and continuing through Sunday morning. I did not know what to expect, but I was not interested in hearing a bunch of holier-than-thou types tell me some more things that I was doing wrong. Jan and I even agreed to keep one of them in our home. I was apprehensive about that! The day finally came for the lay renewal, and we gathered for supper at the church on Friday evening. All the team members were there. They didn’t seem much different from any of us, except they hugged each other a lot. They also said, “Praise the Lord!” all the time. I wasn’t sure about them. Maybe they were charismatic. The prospect of that didn’t exactly float my boat. As the evening began, several of the team members gave their testimonies, telling us what God had done in their lives recently. Everything seemed fresh and real to them. This was new to me. Christianity had almost always been a dogma to me, with little real 60

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application in everyday life. There had always been a set of rules to follow. I had tried to follow those rules as best I could. I knew I was a born-again Christian and my sins had been forgiven. I had assurance of heaven after death. I knew that Jesus was the only means of salvation, and I believed in salvation by grace through faith. I practiced Christian principles in my business and personal life. What was missing? Why didn’t I have the joy that these people seemed to have? These team members seemed to have that personal relationship with Christ that I longed for in my life. At first, I thought they were phonies, because I had met so many in my life. Believe me: I was an expert on phonies. I had seen their plastic smiles and their disapproving, judgmental looks. I decided to reserve my judgment for a while. I didn’t want to be hasty. We were divided into small groups, and the leader started asking questions that provoked thought and insight into our inner selves. At first, our answers were the stock ones, but little by little we began to trust each other enough to open up a little. We prayed about problems that emerged. We prayed specially, not just in general terms. When we gathered back into the auditorium, each group gave a report. The service lasted three hours, and I was not even tired. This was refreshing and new. I felt great! Maybe there was something to this thing called lay renewal after all. The team member that was leading music for the weekend, Jerry Brentham, was to go home with us. He was a real estate salesman from Belton, Texas. When we got home, we found that we had a lot in common. Jerry had been a high school coach before his real estate career. During that time, he invented an exercise machine that used hydraulic cylinders instead of weights. This machine would exercise muscles more effectively and safely than weight machines. He told us about marketing this new product out of his garage. His plans were to grow his business into a worldwide corporation that was dedicated to the Lord. It sounded like a harebrained idea to me. In the following years, Jerry did just exactly what he said he would do. His company grew into a huge corporation. Much of the earnings 61

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went to ministry. He later sold out and came away from the experience a wealthy man. He and his family became good friends to us. The next morning, we had coffees in the homes of our church members. After refreshments, the team members shared more of their experiences with God and led us to share more deeply of our own experiences. Many tears were shed at that meeting! How refreshing that was after having to always wear a mask at church. At noon, the men and women had separate lunches and we shared once again. Our inhibitions began to fall away. Barriers broke down and pent-up feelings were released. God was with us in great power. We all met together again on Saturday evening at the church. Some team members gave their testimonies, each sharing how the same God had dealt differently and uniquely with them, meeting them at their point of need. I began to realize that God might truly become real to me as well. This was much more personal to me than anything I had ever experienced. I had seen the movement of God many times before, but not at such an experiential level. Sunday morning brought more sharing and testimonies during the Sunday school and worship hours. A singing group had sung at each service during the weekend, and as I listened to them I knew that was what God was calling us to do. Could I have possibly found God’s will for my life? After the morning service and lunch, the team members left. We hated to see them go. We were all involved in the hugging now, and it didn’t seem strange at all. We met that night with only the church members and shared what the weekend had meant to us. This was the most spiritual meeting I had ever been in. People shared from their hearts as never before. The service lasted for several hours, but no one was tired. We all left renewed. Our church followed up the lay renewal weekend with small group meetings in homes. We met each week for several months. In our share group, I saw God answer specific prayer requests. We reported each week how God was working in our lives. We recorded prayer requests and answers so we could keep a record of them. For the first time in my life, it was real. I began to experience Christ as I never had before. 62

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I could hardly wait until the group meeting each week, to share with the others what God was doing in my life and to hear what He was doing in theirs. Our lives were forever altered. A vision began to emerge. A ministry began to develop. God began to speak to Jan and me about entering a concert ministry. We made the commitment to pursue such a ministry and resigned from our position at Emmanuel Baptist Church in Waco. We didn’t have a clue as to how begin! We had made the decision. Now what? I asked Jan if she felt the call to this ministry. She answered, “God called me to be your wife. If that means singing concerts, then so be it.” What a woman! She meant it too. She has been faithful to any ministry that God has called me to over the years. We decided to call some of the churches who were familiar with us and tell them of our decision. Several of those churches asked us to do concerts in their churches, but it wasn’t enough to keep us busy. During that time, I also served as interim music director in a couple of churches while we were getting our ministry off the ground. I finally quit serving as music director in churches and launched out, by faith, into the concert ministry. It was sink or swim. You can’t have a concert ministry and serve on staff at a church at the same time. Our schedule began to fi ll up little by little. Everywhere we went, they wanted to give us a love offering. It was nice of them, but we didn’t particularly need the money because our living was made in real estate. We thought and prayed about what we could do with the money from those concerts. I continued to sell real estate while we did the concerts on the weekend. I became a broker and left Mac Gorham to start my own business. In the process of studying the profit potential of property for my investment clients, I realized that I could do the same thing that I was encouraging them to do. If I could show them how to invest in real estate and turn a profit, I could do the same thing myself. In addition to my commission sales, I started buying property and selling it at a profit. The real estate business was perfect for our concert ministry. I could make my own schedule. The first few places I bought were ranches that had houses. I would 63

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immediately sell the house with a few acres and then sell the remainder of the land in parcels at a small profit. Most of my profit would come from the sale of the house. That worked well! The holding time on those deals was not very long, so my profits were not eaten up by interest. As time passed, I began buying larger tracts and developing them into five-acre plots. As I took more chances, my profits increased. As my interest in investing grew, I became less interested in commission sales. I had built a small sales force, so I began to let them have all the sales and I concentrated on investments. The salesmen eventually became more involved in selling my property than in listing and selling for the public. As I took on more developments, my debt load also increased. Some of these developments required improvements, such as roads and water lines. That increased my costs, so I had to get more for the tracts. That was not difficult, because people wanted to move to the country and have their own small ranchettes. Interest on loans became a larger factor in my business, but it was easily offset by sales. Things were going great!

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World Hunger Relief

ne Sunday morning while waiting for Jan to get ready for church, I was reading the book What Do You Say to a Hungry World? by Stanley Mooneyham. God spoke to me about giving the proceeds from our concert love offerings to the hungry people of the world. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I thought I would have to talk Jan into doing it. I prepared my speech in preparation for persuasion. When we got into the car, I began by asking, “Have you read any of that book about world hunger?” She immediately answered, “That’s what we ought to do with the proceeds from our concerts.” I could have shouted! God had spoken to her as well. We were so excited about this revelation that we could hardly wait to tell our friends. When we did, some of them looked at us like we were out of our minds. What could two people do about the growing problem of hunger in our world? We were a little discouraged by their response, but we still held

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the dream in our hearts and began trying to be obedient to the vision that God had given us. We started a nonprofit corporation and named it World Hunger Relief, Inc. We hired Dan Carroll to be the executive director of that new corporation. Dan’s parents had been foreign missionaries and he had grown up overseas. This gave him insight into this kind of ministry that we did not have. I served as president and Jan as secretary-treasurer. We asked several of our interested friends to serve on the board of directors. We were off and running in short order! We started giving all the money from the concerts to the world hunger ministry of the Southern Baptist Convention. We paid all our own travel expenses so that all the money could go to the project. The money started flowing as the donations grew. Churches were interested in giving to world hunger, so that made it easier to schedule concerts. That was one of Dan’s responsibilities and he was good at it. It wasn’t long before we were doing concerts almost every Sunday morning and evening at different churches. At that time in history, it seemed that hunger was on God’s agenda for His church. The churches responded well. We made contact with Dr. Gene Grubbs from the Foreign Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention and told him what we were doing. With their approval, I thought we would have more credibility with the churches of our denomination, allowing us to raise even more money to help alleviate world hunger. Since we were giving the proceeds of our concerts to the World Hunger Fund through the Foreign Mission Board and the Home Mission Board, I felt that it would be easy enough to get their blessing for our efforts. We made arrangements to meet Dr. Grubbs at the Dallas-Ft. Worth Airport to discuss our plans. Dan Carroll, Jan, and I attended the meeting. We explained our desire to continue to funnel all of our concert earnings through their organization and discussed how we might be able to increase our effectiveness in the effort. Every penny would be directed to them, since we were paying all our own travel and administrative expenses. 66

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The Foreign Mission Board had set up their World Hunger Relief and Disaster Response ministry to handle the unsolicited funds that were being sent to them by churches and individuals. Dr. Grubbs headed that ministry. During our meeting, he informed us that they were not allowed to actively raise any money and they could not approve of anyone who did. He told us, “I can’t do anything officially, but, unofficially, follow your dream!” We were crushed. We could not get approval to link our efforts with theirs. They would accept our money, but they would not approve of us using their name in any fundraising efforts. We, at the time, knew little about the denominational system and could not understand their rationale. Jan cried and I got mad. I told Dr. Grubbs, “We are going to do what God called us to do if it hairlips every cow in Texas!” Like a grain of sand in an oyster shell, my attitude caused me to be an irritation to them. Pearls are made like that. Many changes have been made in the Foreign Mission Board’s policies because of the irritation of many well-intentioned people. Our hearts were in the right place, but sometimes we may have been hard to deal with. The name of the Foreign Mission Board has been changed to the International Mission Board and the Home Mission Board has now become the North American Mission Board. They both now raise money for many of their efforts. We have, for many years, had a good relationship with them, as well as with other mission organizations. Even though we did not have their official approval, we continued, just as before, sending the concert offerings to them. They used the money very effectively but never gave legitimacy to our organization and efforts. When the churches saw that all their offerings went directly to the alleviation of world hunger, they gave generously. Our offerings continued to grow, and God blessed our efforts.

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By singing and speaking in churches, we also heightened awareness of the problem of hunger. Some churches started giving on a continuing basis. That made it difficult to track the dollar value of our work, but from time to time we would receive reports of continued fundraising activities of individual churches. That was very gratifying. We may never be able to quantify our fi nancial contribution to the cause. We at least knew that we were being obedient! The Home Mission Board was the first to recognize us as a valid ministry and gave us many opportunities across the country. Reid Hardin, who was the director of lay evangelism, is the Home Mission Board, regularly used us in his nationwide events. They also wrote articles about out ministry. It caught on, and our schedule became even busier. As I stated before, we paid all the expenses for World Hunger Relief from the earnings of our real estate business. This allowed us to donate 68

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all the donations to help in the alleviation of hunger. My business continued to grow. I had to rent larger offices to accommodate the additional sales people who were required, along with secretarial and ministry staff. Eventually, I bought an office building that was more than adequate for our needs. As we grew, the capital requirements of the business and ministry also grew. I began developing increasingly larger tracts of land. That required me to borrow a great deal more money than I had ever borrowed before. I was dealing with several banks and savings and loan companies. My borrowing capabilities grew along with my needs. I could walk into any one of several banks and borrow whatever I needed, sometimes with only my signature. I had come a long way since buying our first house. It was frightening but quite heady for me. I didn’t cry like I did when we bought our first house. At the end of 1976, Dan Carroll resigned as director of WHRI, so I hired William E. McGraw III to replace him. His wife, Sherry, was also hired to be my secretary. Bill had an amazing baritone voice and a degree in vocal performance. Jan and I studied voice under him to enhance our vocal capabilities. Bill had an amazing ability to communicate a concept to you with such clarity that it was not difficult to learn and duplicate. It was a perfect match for us. He did the work of executive director extremely well. He has since gone on to do well in opera performances all across the country. He has become a well-sought-after vocal coach as well. He was the best one I ever had and the only one that Jan ever had. We hired Lydia McCall as our pianist and added her and Bill to our concert ministry. The discipline of quartet work enhanced our ability to blend our voices together. The experience helped us. We were fortunate to have such wonderful musicians to help us develop into the concert artists that we became. Before Lydia came to us, Owen Griffi n and Sheila Green each spent one year as our pianists. We had a lot of fun traveling and working with each of these dear friends. God used all of them in a unique and wonderful way during their tenure with us. 69

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With four people traveling with us, we needed a bigger vehicle. I bought a bus from Central Texas Bus Lines and began to customize it for our use. We asked a friend, Ralph Briscoe, to help us. He and some of his friends took on the job, and before long we had a travel coach that had everything we needed. There was enough room for everyone to be comfortable. Jan and I had a private suite in the back along with a kitchen and bath. The bus had sleeping accommodations for everyone. We hired Gene Lunceford to drive for us. His parents, Dr. and Mrs. Travis Lunceford, remain dear friends today. We have taken many summer and winter vacations with Travis and Lyda. They loved to travel to our concerts whenever they had the time to do so. Travis is now retired from private medical practice in Memphis, Tennessee. Our quartet sang 135 concerts during 1978. That required a lot of travel for someone who was running a business as well. Sometimes, we wouldn’t get back from a trip until midnight or after on Sunday night and I would have to be in the office Monday morning. I thought that if I had an airplane, I could travel more quickly, leaving more time at home and for my business. It sounded like a good plan to me. 70

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I looked around and found a Twin Bonanza that had been customized. The interior was beautiful. It even had a recliner and couch in the back. It would carry seven passengers. I flew to Pontiac, Michigan, and bought it. Gene Lunceford, our bus driver, was also a pilot. Even though he wasn’t rated to fly a twin, it didn’t take long for him to get the necessary training. I sent him after the plane, along with his instructor, and before long we had it back in Waco. I was the proud owner of my own airplane. That was heady stuff for a preacher’s kid from Pleasant Hill, Louisiana, who had had no selfconfidence as a child. My self-confidence problems were not a factor in my life at that time. I thought I could do about anything. Those were happy days for me. I was so positive that I thought I could do no wrong in the business world. A friend told me I was such an optimist that if I was placed in front of a firing squad, I would think there was a 50/50 chance that all the bullets would miss me. I don’t know if I was that positive, but I surely had changed from the pessimistic young man I had been in earlier years. I began to believe that God wanted me to be rich and successful, with a minimum of problems. Maybe I wouldn’t have to be long, thin, and bloody after all. I was serving God the best way I knew how. The way things were going, I didn’t see any reason to doubt that philosophy. I don’t see how God put up with me. I was getting pretty big for my britches. I am grateful for God’s marvelous grace and his divine patience. I started a new subdivision in Robinson, a suburb of Waco. I saved five acres, with a beautiful wooded building site, for myself. Jan started drawing house plans for our dream home. We built a colonial-style house with large, white columns in front. It had a large den with a huge fireplace. We built a pond in the front yard for Ted to fish and swim in. It was exactly what we wanted. We sold our house in Hewitt and moved to our dream home in 1976. We bought two new Lincolns: a Town Car for Jan and a Mark V for me. I also bought a new pickup for a work vehicle. Talk about an ego. It embarrasses me to even think of it now. I had attained the American dream. I had come a long way from the manure business and the dairy business. 71

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Bill and Sherry McGraw decided they would go to Indiana so Bill could continue his vocal studies. Lydia McCall was planning to get married, so we lost our pianist, secretary, vocal coach, and singing partners all at the same time. Jan and I became a duet again and started using accompaniment tracks. It seemed a bit stiff at first, but we got used to them before long. We have continued to use tracks ever since. After all, they don’t get married, you don’t have to feed them, and they never get moody. Our expenses dropped considerably thereafter. I hired Lee Ellen Merritt to replace Bill as executive director for a short time, but before long, Jan and I decided to handle our own bookings. When Sherry left, I hired Margaret Kramer as my secretary. Sherry had been great in that position, but Margaret was just as good. Before long she had everything humming smoothly. I sometimes wondered if she needed me at all. That made my work easier and allowed me freedom to meet our travel demands with a minimum of concern about things at the office. I branched out into building houses on some of my properties in order to get a running start on new subdivisions. Building a few houses in a new subdivision was like priming the pump. New activity brought on buyers. I never liked building, but it seemed to be a good idea at the time. My interest remained in developing and selling the lots. Ted used to say, “Every time you buy a ranch, you turn it into a neighborhood.” He wanted me to keep the land as it was. There wouldn’t be much profit in that. I began buying rental houses and apartments as well as some houses to rehab and resale. My dad took responsibility for getting the properties remodeled and ready for occupancy. He and his crew kept busy all the time because I was making stacks of offers on houses. I didn’t get them all accepted, but I was able to buy my share of them. I used all kinds of creative financing techniques to take advantage of all the leverage I could. I thought they were unique to me but later found out that people were teaching some of the same techniques in real estate courses and charging big bucks for them. I guess it is true that there is nothing new under the sun. No one taught them to me. I developed 72

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them myself, from experience, however I never seriously considered training others to be my competitors. I figured if real estate investing was as profitable as those teachers advertised, they wouldn’t want to train their competitors either. Real estate was booming in Texas, so everything I bought turned out right. Some were more profitable than others, but almost everything worked. During that time, I could and did buy a ranch and resold it before I even closed on it. I never even had it in my name but deeded it directly from the seller to my buyer at closing. Sometimes, we had what is called double closings. That is when you buy a property in one closing and immediately sell it in another on the same day. Occasionally, I bought the property of one person who had to sell in order to buy another property that I had listed. I would take my commission in equity in the property that I bought. With fi rst and second mortgages readily available, it was not difficult to get 100 percent financing or more on any property. You had to be very careful not to borrow more than its potential value. There was nothing hidden or underhanded about any of my dealings. They were legal and acceptable borrowing practices. Some people used techniques that I wouldn’t go near because they were marginal at best. I would never mislead anyone to make a deal. There were plenty of good deals to be made. I made an offer on the ALICO building in downtown Waco. It was an historical office building that was built during the early twentieth century. It had been the tallest building west of the Mississippi River for many years. Anyone who has traveled through Waco has seen the large, red, neon sign on top of the building. I wanted to change the ALICO sign to read SALICO. What an ego! It never happened because the insurance company that owned the building didn’t accept my offer. Thank God! My expansion caused me to explore opportunities in other cities. The airplane came in handy for business as well as ministry. It was great to be able to fly to distant places, take care of business, and be home before night. Driving would have caused me to be on the road more than I wanted to be. 73

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We regularly had adventures while flying. One day, Gene was flying me to Shreveport, Louisiana when we developed an engine problem. We had to shut down the ailing engine and notify the tower in Longview, Texas, that we had a problem. They scrambled the fire trucks and had us make an emergency landing. The remaining engine, Gene’s expertise, and the grace of God allowed us to land safely. It was a hair-raising experience, but when I had to pay $9,500 to replace the engine, my hair really stood on end. On one night fl ight, while returning from a concert engagement, all our electrical power went out on the plane. None of our instruments were working, but we navigated our way to Waco by the lights of familiar cities. When we arrived, we could not contact the tower and we weren’t sure that our landing gear was down. Since it was so late, there was no air traffic in the area. We took a chance that our landing gear was down. It was. Another potential disaster was averted. The man in the tower recognized what was going on and sent us a green light, but we didn’t see it. We called him on the phone and told him what happened. I sold the plane shortly thereafter. While making plans to develop land for affordable housing in several towns in Texas, I hired William Thompson to handle the financing and Nelson Speed to be in charge of sales. They were both committed Christians. As we explored the possibilities, we were excited about the potential of the new venture. One day, we went to lay out our plans to a banker in Hamilton, Texas, and were surprised to fi nd that he wasn’t interested at all. We were disappointed, to say the least! We couldn’t imagine why. As we were talking on the return trip, William asked me, “If you could do anything you wanted, what would you do?” I answered, “Jan and I would sing concerts full time and continue raising funds for World Hunger Relief without having to worry about making a living.” The more we talked, the better the idea sounded. We pulled off on the shoulder of the road and prayed about it. When we finished, Nelson said, “I may be talking myself out of a job, but I think you should pursue that ministry.” I felt he was right. William was also very supportive. I committed myself to God, surrendering to the concert ministry, full time. 74

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My decision affected William and Nelson as well. Both of them went on to become real estate brokers. Nelson went on to become the president of the Waco Board of Realtors. William continued in the building and developing business until his untimely death in an automobile accident. I will never forget that time with them beside the road. I had a sense of direction. It was a turning point in my life, or should have been.

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Gaining Altitude

was walking on air when I got home that night and shared my decision with Jan and Ted. This was a total reversal from the direction we had been going. The decision took Jan by surprise. She wanted to know how I could make such an earth-shaking decision without consulting her. She has always been supportive of me, so after much prayer she agreed to go along with me on the decision. We wanted to continue giving all the money from the concerts to World Hunger Relief while paying our own expenses just as in the past. We didn’t know how we would be able to do that, given our situation. It appeared that we would have to liquidate many of our holdings and simplify our business. I began scaling down my business operations to the bare essentials. I kept Margaret as my secretary, but let everyone else go. I sold my office building but maintained a small office for Margaret. I moved my office home and began working from there. Scaling down a business was not easy. It was impossible to liquidate quickly because it was difficult to fi nd buyers for all the conglomerate of properties I had accumulated. I needed to be liquid and get my debts down to a manageable level. This was quite a chore. We would certainly need God’s help and leadership in getting to where we needed to be. Jan and I worked to take care of our bookings, arrangements, and publicity, but I had to spend a great deal of time with the business. We continued to pray for God’s guidance in this step of faith. One day, a

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Realtor called and wanted to show me a 125-acre tract of land in LacyLakeview just north of Waco. I was not really interested, because I was trying to scale down my business, not expand it. He insisted that I take a look at the place, so I rode over it with him. I fell in love with it. It had been the old Spring Lake Country Club, which had been closed for years. There were trees and small lakes all over it. Even the old swimming pool and clubhouse were still evident, even though the clubhouse had burned down. I didn’t want to expand my business, but it was evident that this place could be the answer to our prayers. I could develop it and live off the profits for a long time. I decided to buy it, so I negotiated a deal, got my development plan approved by the city, and began work. I made a plat map of the land, taking full advantage of the beautiful trees and lakes on the property. I tried to get as many lakefront lots as possible. The surveyor began his work, but before he could finish people began selecting their lots. Yes, Spring Lake was God’s answer. It became evident that the income from this place could take care of our financial needs and allow us to follow our dream. As the roads were laid out, people began swarming in to buy lots. They were driving me crazy. Cash began to flow in, and I became more liquid than I had ever been. Everything was going great. With the earnings from Spring Lake and the liquidation of my other holdings, I would never have to work again. I would just have to manage my assets. When it became common knowledge that we were scaling our business down, one man told me that I should reconsider. He said, “Your credibility comes from your position as a businessman and layman, not a full-time concert artist.” He was afraid the response would not be as good as it had been in the past. He was sincere in his assessment, and it sounded like good advice. If one subdivision was that good, how much better would several more be? It seemed that I could be much more effective in business and could give even more to World Hunger Relief. I was about to make a terrible mistake. Satan disguises his will to look so much like God’s that it seems like a better option. I fell for it, 77

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hook, line, and sinker. I began expanding my business again and stepped out of the place of the perfect blessings of God. It didn’t seem so at that time, but this was one of the worst decisions that I ever made. As I look back on it, I wonder where I would be today if I had followed God’s obvious will. I, in retrospect, can see the times that God has worked mightily in His provision for me, allowing me to follow an impossible dream. Spring Lake was indeed one of those provisions, and I was about to make a mess of it. I have since come to know that God’s way is not just the best way. It is the only way. Jan and I found a beautiful building site at Spring Lake for yet another dream home. It was on the banks of the largest lakes and had scattered live oak tree all across the seventeen acres that we selected. Jan again started drawing house plans. She included an apartment in the house for her mother and father. They could stay with Ted while we were out of town, and Jan’s mother would be responsible for most of the cooking and grocery shopping.

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About that same time, Carl Ryther, a missionary to Bangladesh, came back to the United States because of the illness of his son. He would never be able to return to the mission field. His specialty was agriculture, using appropriate technology for the Third World. I hooked up with him as soon as I could. I had always dreamed of WHRI being involved in that type of ministry, so I asked Carl for help. We decided to start a demonstration farm to train volunteers and missionaries in these agricultural methods. They would be invaluable to those who ministered on the mission field as they tried to help the hungry and share Christ. The demonstration farm began on the seventeen acres where we were building our new home. Carl began by buying over two hundred rabbits and an earthworm farm. He and Dad moved the rabbits to the farm. What a job! Dad was always spitting because he thought he had rabbit hair in his mouth. Not only did they move the rabbits, but Carl insisted on having all the manure under their cages. He said it was the most important part of the cycle that he was trying to set up. They hauled all the manure, with Dad griping all the while. They moved all the earthworms to put them under the cages. The earthworms would digest the droppings, turning them into worm castings. This would be placed into compost piles, which would be a growing medium for growbeds. Vegetables would be grown in the growbeds, their tops used as food for the rabbits. This completed the growbed cycle. The work setting up the demonstration farm was done by Carl, Dad, Ted, Carl’s children, and an assortment of volunteers. Carl worked the kids so hard that they would hide from him. They knew he would have a job for them to do. Avoiding Carl became a major enterprise for them. In August 1980, Jan’s dad died from bone cancer. It was a devastating loss for all of us. Jack had been a great help to us in the early stages setting up the farm. We would miss him terribly. He had always had a quick wit and had made me laugh at myself on many occasions. We built an office building on the farm and named it for Jack. It was difficult to 79

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adjust to life without him, but we had to go on. Jan’s mother, Helen, continued to live with us after Jack’s death.

As word spread about the farm, more people volunteered to help. Some even gave up their jobs and moved to Waco to live near the farm. They had to raise their own support if they were joining us full time. It was awesome for Jan and me to realize that people were following our dream with no visible means of support. Instead of allowing them to lean on the Lord for help, I thought I had to help take care of their needs. I founded a corporation called WHRE, Inc., which was designed to take the assets of the volunteers and invest them in real estate in the hope that there would be enough profits to provide for the volunteers’ financial needs. We built up a large net worth quickly, but cash flow was always a problem. It was a good thought but didn’t work out the way I had planned. When you attempt to be the provider for someone else, you quickly see your inadequacies. These people had to depend upon God and so did I. When God calls, He provides. The World Hunger Farm, as it came to be known, was now a reality. News of the farm spread quickly, and before long we had visitors coming regularly. One day, we had over two hundred women from the Baptist Women’s Missionary Union who visited the farm. They all 80

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came through our house because it served as office, visitors center, and sometimes dormitory as well. Children from church mission groups loved to visit. It was almost like a petting zoo to them. We not only had rabbits, but we had goats as well. They had been donated by the Texas River Ministry. Carl put everyone to work, young and old. Seldom did anyone escape without being given a project.

Jan’s mother cooked for us but didn’t realize that she would have to serve all who showed up. When we sat down at the table, there might be two of us or twelve—we never knew. She wanted to plan each meal, but people regularly showed up at mealtime unannounced. This frustrated her to no end. I finally told her they could eat what we were having, even if it was bologna sandwiches. She adjusted and always provided great meals. Maybe that is why so many people showed up at mealtime. 81

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Those were some great times. People were always in our home or visiting the farm. Many lived with us for various periods of time. We had plenty of room for them and it was fun having them around. There was no privacy but plenty of fun. Carl and Jean bought a lot and built a house just up the road from us. Our work was going well and we were one big happy family. We shared together, played together, and prayed together. Work groups came from churches, colleges, and even seminaries to help us. They built fences, dug growbeds, built compost piles, and did carpentry work or anything else Carl could think of that needed to be done.

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The goats were always going under, over, or through fences. Herding them became a major task. We built electric fences to keep them in, but they were deterred very little. They would crawl under the fence, bawling all the way as the shock hit them. Freedom was worth the pain and Jan’s tasty shrubs were always the fi rst things they would head for. Even though they were a lot of trouble, the goats were important. In a Third World country, they would provide milk as well as meat to the diet of hungry people. Carl tried to plan the breeding cycles of the goats so they would not all kid at the same time. He penned up all the nannies and separated them from the billies until he was ready to mate them. One day, while Carl was traveling in India, Jan went down to feed the goats. I told you before that she was not a farm girl. Somehow she got the nannies and billies together. You can imagine what happened next. Jan began chasing them, trying to separate them. She was yelling all the while, “Stop that!” but it did no good at all! Then she started yelling for me to make them stop. Carl couldn’t figure out why all those nannies began dropping their kids at the same time, and Jan was afraid to tell him the truth. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that someone had messed up. To say that we were busy would be an understatement. We were running the real estate business and the farm and were singing more concerts than ever before. It made for an interesting life. It was a constant struggle trying to keep all those balls in the air at the same time, but we were extremely happy. The publicity of the World Hunger Farm was spreading literally all over the world. Reporters from newspapers, magazines, and television came to the farm to interview us regularly. One day, a news team from a Dallas television station arrived in a helicopter and landed on the farm. That was an exciting day. As the news spread, we were inundated by invitations to have someone come and sing, speak, and show slides to their groups. We sang and spoke at meetings of Rotarians, Lions, Optimists, and many others. We sang at the statewide meeting of the Garden Club. We even spoke in classes at Baylor. 83

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All kinds of religious groups and churches invited someone from the farm to come and speak. We put together other singing groups to represent us, since Jan and I could not meet all the demands. We had several speakers who would fi ll some of the engagements as well. We would furnish them with the necessary information and a set of slides and turn them loose to tell our story. You can imagine how much travel was required of people from our organization. We used the bus as well as cars to get to where we needed to be. One day, a man offered to trade a Beechcraft Bonanza airplane for my equity in a house I owned. I thought I needed a plane, so I took him up on the offer. I decided that I didn’t want to own another plane that I couldn’t fly myself, so I began taking flying lesson, and before long I was piloting my own plane. We used it a lot, flying to concerts, business appointments, and meetings all across the country. David Campbell and his family joined the volunteer staff of WHRI, moving from Midland, Texas. David was a pilot, so he and I kept the plane in the air a great deal of the time. I decided to buy another plane so we could handle our transportation problems more effectively. I sold our bus and replaced it with a Cessna 310, a six-place, twin-engine plane. Both the Cessna and the Bonanza were very fast and efficient and met our needs very nicely, but they were really expensive. Flying your own plane is not an efficient way to travel. It is fast though. David flew the Cessna and I flew the Bonanza. We were always ferrying speaking and singing groups to different engagements. We also brought in visitors to see the farm. There were few times that one or both of the planes were not in use. Gene Boyd, another volunteer who was also a pilot, occasionally borrowed a Cessna 152. A businessman from Midland loaned us another six-place plane as well. We had our own air force. We kept the planes at Texas State Technical Institute. The facility was formerly Connally Air Force Base, so there was plenty of room. It in fact was one of the largest airports in Texas. There was a control tower that only operated during the day. At sunset, they turned off the runway lights and closed up. Many times we 84

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would come in after the tower was closed and have to land on a dark runway. It wasn’t as difficult as you might think, once you located the runway in the dark. World Hunger Relief began a project in Ferrier, Haiti, implementing a self-help agricultural system to train the nationals. Volunteers built a cook building, a dormitory, and a large bathhouse. They also dug and planted growbeds and built rabbit cages and fences for the goats. Leucaena trees were planted. Bees were donated by some Texas beekeepers. We started honey production in Waco and the Haitian farm as well. It was as close a duplicate to the Waco farm as we could make it but with more primitive surroundings. One of our projects in Haiti was to drill water wells with a small drilling reg. Pitcher pumps were placed on each well. These were the only source of clean water for the village of Ferrier. The Haitians had been drinking from the river, which was also used to water their animals, wash their clothes, and bathe in. We soon had wells scattered all over the village. They were a great improvement for the villagers. The Ferrier project has been maintained now for many years. There has even been a school built by volunteers. God has been glorified through it all. Many stories were written about the farm and our projects in Haiti and other countries. One writer, Celeste Pennington, named her piece, “The biggest little farm in Texas.” There is no telling how many times that story was reprinted. We heard from someone in Saudi Arabia, who had read it in the Christian Reader, a magazine that had subscribers all 85

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across the world. It was amazing that someone in Saudi Arabia read the article, because the government will not allow Christianity to be practiced in that country. That story, along with others, helped us immeasurably with publicity and fundraising. As news of the farm spread, our funds increased dramatically. All concerts and presentations yielded money to use in our ministry. We had unsolicited gifts that came in on a regular basis. One day, a woman came to the farm and told us that her father had died and left us a sizeable donation that she presented to us. Her father had seen one of our concert presentations and had immediately included us in his will. After the farm was established, the concert proceeds, unless otherwise designated, went to the projects of WHRI instead of the Foreign Mission Board. There were so many different denominations involved at that time that it was more appropriate to use the money in that fashion. Besides, it took all that we could raise to fund projects that were being started all over the world. People from places like Mexico, India, Bangladesh, Haiti, and several countries in Africa came to the Waco farm to learn the simple agricultural techniques that we used. They took that technology back to their countries and duplicated it there. Because of the many countries represented among our trainees, there is no way to know how widespread our influence became. We like to believe that it made a difference that continues even today. When we get to heaven, we will know! Whenever we trained people in farming, we also shared Christ with them. After all, that was our major objective. There are so many different ways of sharing the gospel and ministering in Christ’s name. We were only one. Wherever our farming techniques were used, we hoped there was a thriving Christian witness. There is no way for us to know. We do know, however, that we were fulfi lling the “great commission.”

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The environmental studies department at Baylor University was interested in our project. They found a unique way to be involved. They set up a prototype of a solar-powered still on our farm. It was used to distill alcohol to be used as an alternate energy source in underdeveloped countries. This fuel could be used for cooking as well as for meeting other energy needs. Using this type of fuel could give people an inexpensive option to replace other alternatives. The solar-powered still was the first of its kind in the world, so far as we know. We joked that we had the fi rst Baptist still, until one day in North Carolina a man informed us that plenty of Baptists had stills before us. I’m sure they did, but they had different purposes in mind. We had a good laugh about that. The still was added to our tour of the farm and provoked a great deal of interest. I was elected vice president of Texas Baptist Men for Agricultural Missions. This was just one of many of the areas of ministry performed by Texas Baptist Men. We set a goal to raise over a million dollars among Texas Baptists for World Hunger Relief. We reached and exceeded that goal in one year. It had never been done before but has been done many

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times since. Some of the money was sent to the Foreign Mission Board and some was used in our work in Waco. The Royal Ambassadors, a mission group of Baptist young men, adopted our project as a part of their study curriculum. They were able to earn a patch for their study and hands-on efforts to help alleviate hunger. The program was later adopted nationally. It humbles me to have played even a small part in teaching boys the facts about hunger in our world. In 1981, we moved the farm up the road to a more suitable location. We had more acreage there, which gave us more room to build the buildings and facilities that were needed by the farm. We had to rebuild goat pens, rabbit hutches, and other facilities on the new site. We even moved the office building. The farm remains at that location today. Jan and I sold the home that we had built at Spring Lake but continued to rent it until we could build another home in yet another subdivision that I had opened several miles away. It was more of a rural setting, so I platted this subdivision into five-acre tracts and above. We kept the choicest twenty acres for our new home. Our building site was covered with oak trees. It didn’t have a lake like the home at Spring Lake, but it made a nice place. This time, we did something that we had never done before, and never intend to do again. We bought a two-thousand-square-foot brick home in Waco, tore the brick off, and moved it to the new site. We added a second story to it, doubling the square footage to four thousand. We actually built a new home around an old one. There was nothing to indicate that any part of it was old. We intended to save money by doing it this way, but in the long run I could have built a new house from the ground up for the same money. It, however, did make a beautiful home. It was much quieter at our new location. We didn’t have a steady stream of visitors coming through our house like the one in Spring Lake. We did, however, provide housing for people from time to time. Jan’s mother moved with us and lived there until she remarried in 1982. 88

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Ted did not travel with us after Helen moved in with us. He was a teenager by that time and didn’t want to be away from home and friends. Helen watched after him while we were out of town. We also built a home for my parents just down the road from us. They helped out with Ted as well. We trusted Ted a great deal. He was a typical teenager, but he proved to be trustworthy. With grandparents all around, he couldn’t get away with much. Ted wanted to remain in Connally School District, so he drove to school every day. We bought him a new truck after we moved to the new location. Even though he was only fi fteen, he was able to get a hardship driver’s license. In Texas, regular driver’s licenses weren’t issued until age sixteen. He was able to get a transfer to remain at Connally. The new school district allowed him to do so without any trouble. I was given an opportunity to trade several real estate properties for farm equipment. An implement dealer in Waco sold out and had more stock than the new owner wanted so he traded the remainder to me. After that trade, I had more equipment than most implement dealers in Central Texas. I had tractors ranging in size from the smallest to the largest. Some had air-conditioned cabs and stereo radio and tape players. To say they were fully equipped would be an understatement! I had plows of all descriptions, some that would plow up to twenty-eight feet at the time. I had cotton wagons, hay rakes, and balers. I even had a self-propelled swather, which was used to cut and windrow hay. It was also airconditioned. I had made many trades before, but not of this magnitude. I hoped that this move would take a step toward liquidity. Farm equipment should be more liquid than real estate. It looked good on paper, but it didn’t work out quite like I wanted it to. We had a gigantic auction to sell off the equipment. People came from everywhere. There were plenty of buyers, but they didn’t want to pay as much as I thought the equipment was worth. We were in a recession and farmers were especially feeling the pinch. I sold most of the items but refused to take the price that some were being bid up to. 89

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As a result of the sale, I did reduce my inventory but still kept quite a bit of equipment. In time, I sold or traded the remainder for cattle and other items. During my career, I have traded for many things. Some of those trades worked out well and others not so well. In 1979 and 1980 I made more money than I had ever made in my life, but found out, to my dismay, that the tax burden was enormous. I had to borrow so much money to pay taxes that I was left in a weakened financial state. You would think that when you have large profits, you should have plenty of money to pay taxes, but it doesn’t always work that way. You have to plow those profits back into new investments and that makes you cash poor at times. The tax burden and the farm equipment trade left me very cash poor. I still had plenty of assets to borrow against, so I wasn’t too worried. The World Hunger Farm was at its peak, and things seemed to be going well. The volunteer’s morale was good, and visitors continued to pour in from all over the world. Donations were at an all-time high, but so were expenditures. As more and more people came to the farm for extended stays, it became almost impossible to house them all. We became keenly aware of the need for a dormitory to house trainees. We put out the word that we needed donations and volunteers to help us build a dormitory. One day, I was speaking to the camp managers of the Baptist encampments throughout the state of Texas, where I voiced our need for a dormitory. When I had finished, Jim Angel, the manager of Camp Copas in Denton, Texas, got up and told the crowd that they needed to help us with this project. He immediately pledged to donate some insulated steel panels to build the walls of the dormitory. Others joined in and donated building materials as well. William Thompson, a friend and board member from Belton, Texas, gave us an old warehouse to tear down for materials. Volunteers helped tear down the warehouse and move the materials to the farm. The slab was poured. Gene Boyd drew the plans and helped with the construction. One volunteer was very faithful, pulling all the nails out of the old lumber. Under the guidance of Ed Brentham, a fulltime WHRI volunteer from North Carolina, trusses were built and the 90

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framing began. Work progressed quickly, but we ran out of money just when we were ready to put the tin roof on. While we were waiting to fi nish the dormitory, a tornado came over the farm. It didn’t touch down, but it did twist the building and leave it leaning badly to one side. We didn’t know what to do.

There we were with a partially built building that looked like it needed to be torn down. Jimmy Davis, a full-time volunteer from Atlanta, Texas, said, “I think we can put come-alongs on the north side and winch it back into place.” We were not sure it would work but were willing to do anything to keep from having to tear it down and start over. Jimmy and several volunteers went to work on it, and before long it was right back in place and perfectly square. They braced it up well and finished construction with no further hitches. God provided the money to complete the project. It stands today as a testimony to the mercy of God and the Spirit of some hardheaded people who would not give up. It really was a miracle. We started a project to get people to donate cattle to help raise funds for the farm. The plan was to have a herd that we could readily sell from when we needed money. The idea caught on. Cameron Byler, a camp manager from Zepher Baptist Encampment, and Fred Johnson, a rancher from George West, Texas, collected cattle from their area and 91

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transported them to the farm in Waco. You can’t imagine the feeling of elation when we saw that first load of cattle arrive. We rented pasture and put the cattle on it. Another group from First Baptist Church in Colmesneil, Texas, donated a trailer load of cattle. Others from all over the state gave us top-quality breeding stock for our herd. People really caught the vision for the cattle project. Before long, we had a sizeable herd. When the need arose, we would load up some calves and take them to the sale barn. They funded more than one project. When it was time to round up the cattle, we would recruit all the volunteers who were at the farm at the time. We were on horseback, on foot, and in trucks. I used a motorcycle. It was always funny to see that conglomeration of people helping work cattle. We always got the job done. Another fundraising venture that we were involved in was a hay project. We contracted to cut the hay off the airport at Texas State Technical Institute. It was formerly James Connally Air Force Base. There were over eight hundred acres around the runways. It became a full-time job from spring until late fall. A crew worked from daylight until dark six days a week unless it rained. While we were working near the active runway, we had to watch for air traffic. Several airlines used that airport for practice for its pilots. One day, I was cutting close to the runway when I happened to look up and see a Boeing 747 headed right for me. I was about to bail off that tractor and start running when the pilot veered over at the last minute and made a perfect touch-and-go. He must have been practicing instrument approaches and was slightly to the side of the runway when he looked at the runway and made a correction. I thought he was lining up on me instead of the center line. Crossing the runway was a task. We had to wait for the tower controller to flash a light at us as a signal to cross. Sometimes, we were too impatient to wait for the signal and would look both ways then speed across the runway on the tractor. That did not set too well with the controllers! They didn’t want a plane crashing into a tractor during their shift. 92

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We always made a lot of hay and had plenty to sell in the winter. If we had a good hay crop, so did everyone else and the price was cheap, but if it was dry, the price was high because of the shortage. This was good for us, because no matter what the weather, we had plenty of hay. We accepted donations of every kind. Some of the donations included a car, a pickup, fabric, garage sale items, engines, a donkey named George, and everything else that you can imagine. We turned most of it into cash and used the money for our projects. Once we had a huge garage sale to get rid of some items. We decided it was not worth all the work, especially since it rained the day the sale was held. All these different fundraising ventures attracted a lot of interest. Some people were as interested in those efforts as they were in the actual mission projects. When people caught a vision for something practical that they would be involved in, they would get excited. Most people may not be cut out to travel overseas to a mission point and minister, but they could see a place of involvement in fundraising projects. If they couldn’t give money, they would give time, sale items, or such. These were practical for them as well as us. I believe very strongly that if you give people enough varied options for ministry, they will find one that suits them.

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Sacrificial Giving

ur concerts stirred a great deal of interest in the problem of world hunger. People usually responded well to our programs, at times giving large love offerings to help. The offerings seemed to grow as awareness about the problem of hunger increased. The large offerings were few and far between.

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On one occasion, Charles Stinson, a pastor from Forest, Virginia, asked us to come to sing for the Strawberry Association’s fundraiser 94

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for the Foreign Mission Board’s world hunger project. The meeting was on Saturday night at First Baptist Church, Bedford, Virginia. We sang and shared our testimony, highlighting the need to respond to the desperate hunger problem in the world. Their offering, which they had collected from their thirty-three small churches, was over thirteen thousand dollars! We were totally amazed! The next morning, we sang at Charles’s church, North Bedford Baptist Church, and collected a very generous offering in one service. Charles had thoroughly prepared his people and the association for the world hunger emphasis. When pastors prepared their people and encouraged them, they always strongly supported World Hunger Relief. Sometimes, pastors fear that a good love offering would mean less money for the ministry of the local church. We found the opposite to be true. If a church is mission-minded and is prompted by the pastor to give to mission causes, the people will support their own church as well. Some pastors would refuse to have a concert simply because they had “given too many special offerings already.” As someone wisely said, “No one has to protect a person’s pocketbook, because they do a good job of that all by themselves.” We had some memorable experiences during that time! One night, we were singing at First Baptist Church in Chilton, Texas. As I was sharing about the hunger project, a Mexican man got up from the back row and came all the way down to the front of the church. I was not sure what was happening. When he reached the front, he handed me a folded up bill and returned to his seat. I unfolded it and saw that it was one hundred dollars. I told the people what he had given and they were amazed, as was I. When we took the offering, that small congregation gave over four hundred dollars. When the service was over, I asked the pastor about the man. He was from Mexico, visiting his sister. He could barely speak English and could ill afford to spare one hundred dollars. I know the man could not understand everything I said, but the Holy Spirit is not limited by our language differences. That was proven at Pentecost. This man gave out of love as the Spirit of God spoke to him. Some people in the congregation thought I had planted that man in 95

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that service to get a better offering. I was amazed when I heard about that. Some people will be skeptics no matter what. We all got a good laugh out of it and went on. We had an experience in that same church on another occasion. After we finished the program and were loading our sound equipment, a young couple came up to me carrying a coffee can. They told me that our presentation had moved them so much that they had gone home and retrieved this can full of coins to give to the hungry. They told me that they worked at a turkey-processing plant in Marlin, Texas, but were presently out of work. They had saved up a little money to live on until their work resumed. They said that God had impressed them to give half of all they had saved to help feed hungry people. I wanted to tell them that God didn’t mean for them to give out of their poverty, but I couldn’t. God did mean for us to give from our poverty. After all, He is the great provider. I was flabbergasted. When we got home and counted the coins, the total was twentyfour dollars. They had forty-eight dollars to their name, and they gave half of it to God. That was the most generous gift that we ever received. Even though many people gave much more money, none ever gave such a large percentage of what they had. It was the story of the widow’s mite all over again. I don’t know what happened to that couple after we left, but I can assure you of one thing: God provided for their needs. If we could only learn to give with that kind of faith, there is no telling the blessings we would receive from the “giver of all good and perfect gifts.” Most people give from their own insufficiency instead of from God’s abundance. They are likely to say, “I just can’t afford to give.” That attitude shows their lack of faith. We have even seen some pastors who did not have enough faith to believe the principles of living in God’s abundance. It is one thing to preach it and yet another to live it. Some churches don’t even give a tithe of their own income to missions. How can a pastor teach his people to tithe when he won’t even lead their church to tithe? The size of the church had little to do with the size of the offering. Sometimes, a large church would give a meager offering and a small 96

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church would surprise us with a tremendous offering. We never knew what to expect. There were times when we would go into a church and prejudge what kind of offering they might give and be completely surprised. There were times when we would travel a long way and not even receive enough offering to cover expenses. No matter! We were paying all expenses and even a meager offering still went to help with the hunger problem. There were times when we could have given the amount of the expenses to WHRI and not travel to the church because the offering was so small. That would not have been smart because you can’t discount what impact the presentation would have on people later. Some people from churches that did not give a good offering at the time of the presentation became permanent givers. You never know the impact that the Holy Spirit will have on the hearts of people you speak to. There is no effective way to gauge your effectiveness. That has to be left up to the Lord. Occasionally, our son Ted would be so touched by the Spirit of God during one of our presentations that he would give every penny he had in his savings. He had such a soft heart, and we really appreciated his unselfishness. Many times, a child can lead us, because the motive is pure and the gift is sacrificial. We didn’t try to discourage him in that attitude, because we knew it would serve him well when he became an adult. God expects every Christian to be a giver! It doesn’t matter how poor or how rich he or she is. Giving opens opportunities to receive blessings that are not available to those who will not give. Those blessings will manifest themselves here on earth as well as in heaven. Giving is the key that opens the door to God’s economy. Luke 6:38 says, “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give unto your bosom. For with the some measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” God’s blessings don’t always come back in money. This has been one of the most misused concepts that I have ever seen. You can hardly watch Christian television or listen to Christian radio without hearing 97

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someone say that God will return more money to you than you can ever give. They use phrases like, “You can’t out-give God.” God can and does give more money to us than we can ever give to Him, in many cases. There are other factors involved in how God blesses His people. I get tired of trite statements that can mislead people. God has so many ways to bless people that we can never understand. When we take time to count our blessings, we see how good God is! You cannot put God in a box and bind Him to do something that you want Him to do. That is the concept that some Christians use in dealing with giving. I wish there was some way that we could have tracked the amount of money that went to world hunger causes as a result of our concert ministry, but there is not. We do know that it was at least several million dollars, when you take into consideration residual gifts. When we get to heaven we will know, but then it won’t matter anyway. We feel proud of how God used us in the concert ministry. The real value will be expressed in souls that were brought into the kingdom of God. There is no way to know that.

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Blessed by Influencers

uring the time of our concert ministry, we were blessed to meet some well-known people. Some were very interested in our ministry and helped us a great deal. Cynthia Clawson and her husband, Ragan Courtney, heard about our work and immediately joined in our efforts to raise money for world hunger. Cynthia joined us in nineteen concerts during 1983. We all had a great time singing concerts together in Texas, Idaho, Washington, Oregon, and North Carolina. As a result of our time together, we became great friends. Ragan and Cynthia invited us to attend the Gospel Music Association’s annual meeting in Nashville, Tennessee. We stayed in their home during that week. They hosted a luncheon in their home to introduce us to others in the gospel music industry who might want to be involved in our ministry. We met the Cruise family, Mark Lowery, and Ron Harris.

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They were all interested in the story of the World Hunger Farm and its work. Ragan was in charge of a meeting of all the gospel music artists at GMA week. He allowed us to share our story with them. Sandy Patti, Jamie Owens-Collins, The Imperials, Rusty Goodman, and Doug Oldham were only a few of those who were interested in our ministry. Some even committed to explore ways that they could join us in fundraising. We never could get a handle on how to use all those artists in our efforts, but it was gratifying to have them show an interest. We did use several artists in fundraising concerts at First Baptist Church in Houston, Texas, and at Southern Methodist University. Gordon Jenson, Bob Bailey, Cynthia Clawson, Ken Medema, and June Hunt joined us in those efforts. June is the daughter of H. L. Hunt, who was one of the richest men in the world when he died. Her brothers are Bunker Hunt, a Dallas businessman, and Lamar Hunt, who owned the Kansas City Chiefs. Ken Medema did twelve concerts with us during 1983. He is one of the most talented musicians that I have ever seen. Even though he is blind, he plays the piano and sings like few other people on earth. He writes all his own music, some songs that are well known across the world. Many times he will write a new song right out of his head as he performs it. I have never seen that done by anyone. I guess you would call that extemporaneous song writing. I have seen people who were gifted at speaking off the cuff, but I have never seen anyone but Ken write and perform songs off the cuff. One year, when the Southern Baptist Convention was held in New Orleans, we were invited to sing at a world hunger fundraising concert at the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary. It was organized by Seeds Magazine and the proceeds went to the Foreign Mission Board world hunger projects. Grady Nutt was the master of ceremonies of the event. He was a regular member of the cast of Hee Haw. Cynthia Clawson, along with other artists joined us in that effort. We had a great time and were privileged to be a part of that concert.

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We were invited by Dr. Jimmy Allen, pastor of First Baptist Church in San Antonio, to join with Senator Mark Hatfield in a presentation at the San Antonio church. It was held during the regular Sunday morning worship service. We provided the special music and the senator spoke. We had lunch with Mark, Jimmy, and their wives and stayed over for the evening service as well. We were joined by one of the former members of the group Earth, Wind, & Fire. I don’t remember his name, but he was a new Christian and had a good testimony. Dr. Jimmy Allen, at the time of this concert, also served as president of the Southern Baptist Convention. He also served as spiritual advisor for President Jimmy Carter during his presidency. Jim Irwin, Apollo 15 astronaut who walked on the moon, did several fundraising events with us. When I was a child, I never believed anyone would walk on the moon, even though people predicted it would happen. It was hard for me to imagine that would ever happen, let alone that I would personally know one of the men who did it. How many times do you get to meet someone who traveled to the moon? You never know what opportunities God may give you. 101

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Jim was a very interesting person. I would sit spellbound listening to him share his experiences during space travel. It is one thing to read about such escapades, but yet another to actually hear the man who lived them. Jim stayed in our home on two different occasions. Ted was quite impressed. Jim has now gone on to be with the Lord. He was a great Christian and witness for Christ during his time on earth. Owen Cooper, a Baptist layman from Yazoo City, Mississippi, was an inspiration to us from the first moment we met him. He heard about our ministry at the 1978 World Hunger Convocation at Ridgecrest Baptist Assembly. When we got home from that event, Owen called us and invited us to his home in Yazoo City. He wanted to discuss some ways that we could cooperate with his group in trying to help the hungry. When we arrived at his home, he had invited several of his friends to hear us sing and share about our ministry. He told us about Agricultural Missions Foundation, where he served as president. Their work was very similar to that of the World Hunger Farm. We worked with them in several efforts after our meeting. We became good friends with Owen and Beth, his wife. Owen was the founder and president of Mississippi Chemical Company. You may remember that Jerry Clower got his start in show business while he was a salesman for that company. We got to meet Jerry on several different occasions. One day, after we sang in his church, he came up to Jan and said, “Darling, if I could sing like that, I would stop people on the street and make them listen to me!” Owen Cooper was the friend of several presidents of the United States. Jimmy Carter was especially close to him. Carter spent the night in Owen’s home, and on one of our visits I slept in the same bed that Carter had slept in earlier. The room had black-out shades on the windows for President Carter’s protection. They made the room so dark that we couldn’t even tell when it was morning. Owen had to wake us up because we slept so late. Owen and Beth worked tirelessly for lay involvement in missions. Owen was the last layman to serve as president of the Southern Baptist Convention. When he died, everyone felt a great sense of loss and deep 102

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gratitude for having known this dedicated man. I miss him a lot even today. Just this morning, I was thinking of him, in fact. We also met Mr. and Mrs. L. D. Hancock, founders of Hancock Fabric Outlet. Jan had spent a lot of money in their stores even before we met the Hancocks. She has contributed a great deal to their wealth. The Hancocks were involved in world hunger and development projects through their own organization, Global Outreach. They work in many parts of the world. L. D. has for many years been generous contributor and tireless worker in missions. On one occasion, we were on the same program with Stuart Cathey, the founder of Chick-fi l-A. We sang and gave a mission presentation and he gave his testimony. It is amazing what he had accomplished in business considering his humble beginnings. He truly loves the Lord and shares his blessings with others. The people we have met in our travels, both famous and not so famous, have been the highlight of our ministry. We have friends all over the United States who welcome us into their homes for a one-night stay or more, if necessary. What a blessing they have been to us. When we needed anything, they were always ready to lend a helping hand. They have bailed us out of trouble on many occasions. We met many of these dear friends at lay renewal conferences in Toccoa, Georgia. Time and space will not allow me to mention them all, but suffice it to say they rejoiced with us in the high times and they wept with us in the low times. These people are true Christians in word and indeed. If all our local churches were fi lled with these kinds of people, we could accomplish anything by God’s grace and in His power. They truly practice what they preach.

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C h a p t e r 15

A House of Cards

n 1979 we had the best business year that we had ever experienced up to that time. We made more money that year than I had ever dreamed of. I had grown tired of trying to make business decisions based upon what the tax consequences might be. I decided to make all the profit I could in 1979 and pay whatever the tax burden might be. Sales soared and our cash flow was great. That was the result of God having given us Spring Lake, which I mentioned before. By the end of the year, I discovered that the amount I owed in taxes was staggering. I didn’t have the money to pay the taxes so had to borrow money on my holdings. That did not help my equity position a bit, but I was still in pretty good shape on paper. My expansion plans went into high gear. I was confident that if I expanded my business, my profits would be much greater and I would have more money to give to our ministry. This was the expansion that I mentioned in an earlier chapter as the biggest mistake of my life. I had listened to bad advice but was still unaware of the dangers that lay ahead. Interest rates had gotten into double digits by 1980 and they began to affect my sales negatively. The signs did not look good, but I persisted in the hope that the interest escalation would only be temporary. I had seen business downturns before, so I wasn’t very worried. Another good year was 1980. In 1981, I was in the profit column

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again. In fact, I did pretty well that year. It wasn’t long before I was brimming with confidence once again. It looked like things were shaping up quite nicely. I made plans to construct new homes on small acreage instead of only selling lots. I had built several houses before, but not on the scale that I was about to embark on. Everyone seemed to want affordable houses on small acreage. Even though the interest rates were high, I thought they would soon come down and I would be ready for a new bull real estate market. Actually, my plans were about the same as they had been when I committed to a full-time ministry. I hired Jan’s brother, Jack, to head up the building projects. He hired a couple of old friends from El Paso to help him. I shared my visions of grandeur with them and soon we were off and running. We began building in the Waco area fi rst but quickly expanded into new subdivisions in Buffalo, Tyler, and Longview, Texas. I had more going then than at any time since I had been in business. We were still looking for more new areas to develop. I began exploring possibilities in Waxahachie, Dallas, and Fort Worth. I never was quite able to get anything going in those areas. Even so, we had enough going in other places to keep us hopping. The interest alone on borrowed money was sucking all the air out of our profits, especially since sales were not progressing as quickly as I had planned. My confidence level was still high. I felt that it was just a matter of time and we would be soaring. Like all the other real estate developers, we had to start borrowing more against our equities to continue to operate. I had to spend more and more time at the banks, shoring up first one deal and then the other. This concerned me, but I still wasn’t overly worried. I had been in bad situations before and they had turned out all right. I expected the same thing again. I continued to give large sums of money to World Hunger Relief and to our church, even though I was losing money in business. I was absolutely sure that God would come through at the last minute and bail me out. The Bible says, “Give and it shall be given unto you, good measure, 105

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pressed down, shaken together and running over” (Luke 6:38). I was believing fully that God would give more back than I was giving. I truly wanted to fund World Hunger Relief with whatever was needed for its survival and ministry. When you misinterpret Luke 6:38, you can fool yourself into believing that you can make a deal with God. We know that we can’t bargain with God, but we continuously attempt to do so. If you aren’t careful, you may think that you can persuade God to do it your way because you are giving generously. By the end of 1983, my house of cards began to crumble. I had several hundred acres of developed land and thirty homes built that I could not sell. The market had almost completely died. I had borrowed all I could, and cash flow was at a standstill. My creditors were beginning to put pressure on me for payment, but I was not able to respond. I would not give up. I just kept on holding on. It was difficult to face creditors and tell them that we couldn’t pay them. The squeaky wheel got the grease. Whoever yelled the loudest got the most attention. We had to use whatever cash we could scrape up to stave off the creditors for as long as we could. The phone was constantly ringing. Almost every call was from an irate creditor breathing threats. The only break we got was late at night, after the phone stopped ringing. It was hard to sleep during that time. Going to bed with that kind of weight on you doesn’t tend to encourage rest. Jan and I cried a lot, and prayed a lot. Bankruptcy was not an option at first. I had always disdained it as a way to avoid responsibility. I did not want to avoid my responsibility to my creditors. I wanted to turn the situation around and pay everyone off. I had never failed to pay anyone in my life. Just the thought of it almost caused me to wretch. By late fall, however, I realized that I had no other option. Much of my property had already been repossessed, and I had only a few assets to offset the millions of dollars of debt. On December 31, 1983, I had to fi le personal bankruptcy. My world had fallen apart. The unthinkable had happened. Those people who had heralded me as a success were now looking at me as 106

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an abject failure. The pain was so bad; I did not think I could bear it at times. Jan and I were crushed and heartbroken. To top everything off, my dear mother died in September of that same year. Someone said, “You can relate to Job.” I replied, “I could teach Job a lot.” I didn’t think that anyone had ever suffered like I was suffering. I wanted to stay at home all the time. I feared going out into public, because I might be put into an embarrassing situation. We had to sing concerts, but when we got home I would hibernate. Many of our friends disappeared. Rich people have many friends until they lose their wealth and their friends disappear like fog at dawn. People don’t want to associate with those who are broke. There must be a fear that poverty is contagious. I don’t know. Everyone seemed to have an answer but me. If you will just do this or that, you can turn it around. They were very simplistic. It was not easy to deal with my situation with simplistic answers. Some people who didn’t even know the questions were offering answers. I had done the same thing myself many times before. I thought I had all the answers, but I was wondering if I knew the questions. One friend said to me, “You must have done something really bad to have God deal with you in this way.” He meant well, but it didn’t help much. Even Job, who suffered more than anyone we know of, didn’t understand why. It is not unusual to ask why. That is the normal response. Job’s friends all thought they had the answer, but they obviously didn’t. We all have the tendency to simplify answers to questions that are much too complex to understand. I have, for many years now dealt with the questions, “Why me Lord? What did I do that was so terrible that I had to suffer like this?” I am not the only one to ask these kinds of questions. Many people have had to suffer much more than I have. Even so, I still have questions. It is difficult to think about this tragedy without it causing pain. Even as I write this, it still hurts immensely.

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Nothing Is Impossible with God!

ven before we fi led bankruptcy, I knew God wanted us in the concert ministry full time. We had been given an opportunity before, and I had blown it. What heartaches we could avoid if we only followed God’s leadership without running off in all directions. This time, we would not afford to make the same mistake that we had made before. We decided we would follow through on that commitment and not look back. We didn’t know how we were going to make a living in the full-time concert ministry when we were giving all the money from the concerts to World Hunger Relief. After we fi led bankruptcy, we had no source of income whatsoever for several months. It was amazing how God provided during that time. It was difficult to understand where the money came from, but somehow we didn’t starve. We could no longer make our house payments, but until the bankruptcy was final we were able to remain in the house. Without any payments, our expenses were minimal. One day, I got a letter from Pioneer Savings and Loan that informed me I had a savings account that had been dormant for several years. If I did not claim it, they would be forced to give it to the state. That astonished me, because I knew of no savings accounts that had not been depleted. I asked my ex-secretary if she could find a record of the account, and she could not. I went to Pioneer and withdrew over $2,400 from that mysterious account. To this day, I do not know who opened

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that savings account! Was it a miracle? I know it was. How else could you explain such an occurrence? Coincidence? Happenstance? Luck? I decided to go to every bank and savings institutions I had ever dealt with and ask them if I had a savings account with them. Believe it or not, I found two more. They were smaller than the first, but a welcome blessing from God. Miracles repeated? Absolutely! God had to make me a pauper in order to show me that I had always been a pauper. I couldn’t do anything about my plight. I was totally helpless. For the first time in my life, I had to look to God as the source of everything. I had always been able to work out some kind of deal, but not now. I always thought I could control my surroundings. What a joke. I had been playacting. What a blessed place to be—out of control. Try placing everything in your life in His control and see if you agree. Our wants decreased dramatically. It is amazing the things we found that we could do without. We found that things didn’t matter so much. We began to look to God for our every need, praying for everything. He responded to our prayers. I would like to tell you that He just heaped resources on us, but He didn’t. He gave us just what we needed and nothing more. We learned the difference between wants and needs! After several months, we had to reconsider our commitment to do concerts for free. We had to take some of the love offerings to live on. This was a difficult and traumatic experience. We fought the inevitability of that decision for months before we finally had to give in. It was better than living without income, but not by much. Even so, we continued sharing some of our love offerings with World Hunger Relief for a while. Money was constantly in short supply. Eventually, we had to give up our world hunger concerts and concentrate on a regular concert ministry. Ted responded positively during this traumatic time. He began working for his own spending money and did not expect as much from us. It was difficult for a seventeen-year-old boy, but he took it in stride. We were proud of him. He learned more responsibility in the process and that’s always a good thing. 109

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We all had to adjust our thinking. We had to learn to be receivers as well as givers. It is much more difficult to be a gracious receiver than it is to be a giver. There is no room for pride in being a receiver. I will never forget the time Fred and Gloria Roach, good friends from Dallas, gave us money to help buy another car to replace the one we lost in bankruptcy. Many of the friends we had made during our travels stuck with us. They were supportive of us during the difficult times. That is the way Christians are supposed to do. These people remain, even today, special to us. One day, when we felt extremely depressed, Cynthia Clawson sent us a card that said, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint” (Isa. 40:31 KJV). You won’t believe how we needed that assurance. I don’t guess she ever knew how much that card meant to us. Jan framed it and hung it on the wall to remind us of God’s goodness. We knew that it wouldn’t be long before we had to vacate our house, but we didn’t know what to do. We continued to pray about it earnestly. We explored every possible alternative. Where would we move to after we were evicted from our house? When we buried my mother in Louisiana, I began to feel my roots drawing me back home. I began exploring the possibility of moving back to Louisiana. I desperately needed some people to love and accept me. Jan didn’t want to leave Texas and live in a place so far from home. I persisted, because Pleasant Hill was sounding better to me all the time. I could not escape that feeling. When you are in trouble, there is no place like home. In my search, I found a house located about four miles from Pleasant Hill. It was on a dirt road, surrounded by dense woods on three sides, with a hay meadow out front. Two ponds were nearby. The house sat on eight acres and was very remote. It was a five-year-old brick house with three thousand square feet. There were four bedrooms, three baths, office, dining room, large den with a fi replace, and a two-car garage. It was more than I had ever dreamed we might own again. It was priced at only $65,000 and fi nancing was available, even though 110

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I was in the midst of bankruptcy. You talk about a blessing from God. It was as if He had come down and physically handed us a gift from heaven. Nothing is impossible with God! Jan liked the house and the beautiful setting, but at fi rst she was worried about being so far from neighbors. There were only two neighbors within two miles. Finally, we both agreed that God wanted us to move there. When I took Ted to see it, he almost shouted, “Let’s buy it!” When we started to make an offer, we found out that someone else had already written a contract on it. Ted was really deflated at first, but after thinking about it for a moment he said, “We are going to get that house. Satan is trying to scare us.” He was right because in a few days the Realtor called and told us that the other deal had fallen through and the house was ours if we wanted it. We made a deal, got the financing, and were soon proud homeowners again. Can you imagine being able to buy a house and get 100 percent financing only months after bankruptcy? Miracle or luck? What do you think? I know! We moved there in March of 1984 and settled in quickly. It was almost like going to heaven to me. I no longer had to endure the disapproving stares that I had come to know so well in Waco. Instead, the people of Pleasant Hill welcomed us with open arms. I was home again. It took Jan some time to adjust. She missed her family and Texas. Until then, she wasn’t sure there was life outside Texas. She also was still hurting from the pain of what we had endured in the last couple of years. She later admitted that she had been bitter at God for allowing us to experience such heartbreak. One day, she fell on her face and asked God to forgive her for the bitterness. After that, she felt much better and soon adjusted to our new home. We would take long walks in the woods with our dogs and cats. It was really a refreshing time. Simple things meant more to us than ever before. We were finally smelling the roses, and boy did they smell great. Ted started to school, and from the first day he was accepted by the kids. He should have been because he was kin to half of them, even though he didn’t know them yet. It was hard to find girls to date because he might be related to them! He brought friends home with him the 111

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first day. He had always been a people person anyway. He enjoyed going to basketball games, riding, and roping. He got involved in Civil War reenactments of the Battle of Pleasant Hill and enjoyed it thoroughly. Some of my most pleasant memories were made while we lived in Pleasant Hill. As I think back on it, I am still amazed at the way God provided such a wonderful place for us. He knew we needed a quiet place to heal all the hurt we had suffered in the bankruptcy, and we were resting there in His gentle hands. Money was constantly tight. As usual, I tried to seize control and make some deals that would give us extra income. I found it hard to leave my fate completely in the hands of the Lord. I was really trying, but I was so used to planning my own future that it was difficult to learn how to abide. I found that I could get financing for some rental properties. It seemed logical for me to purchase them. I knew the business, and all the figures seemed to work. I rationalized that owning rental property would not take time from our concert ministry, so I plunged into real estate investing once again. I purchased four rental houses, and at first everything worked fine. The economy slowed to a crawl because of the oil crunch in Louisiana, so it became difficult to keep the house occupied. I had to cut the rent drastically to less than half of what I had been getting. Cash flow was again a big problem. When was I ever going to learn to trust God implicitly? God wasn’t finished with us in real estate, as you will see later. This was just bad timing. God was doing a new thing in us and we had to learn to trust. It became even more difficult to live off love offerings, now that “When people are going I had all those house payments through the fire, they want to make with little rental income to talk to someone who coming in. I tried selling insurance to make ends meet. still smells like smoke.” Nothing I tried worked. If only I had listened to God, once again. Hardheadedness had always run in my family, and I was no exception. I think of the old hymn What a Friend We Have in Jesus where it says, 112

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“Oh what peace we often forfeit. Oh what needless pain we bear.” I, once again, was forfeiting peace and bearing pain. We continued our concert ministry and revival music ministry. One night in Marietta, Georgia, God led me to share my testimony about what we had been through. I told Jan beforehand what I was planning to do and she replied, “They don’t want to hear that. Please don’t do that. It is too embarrassing.” I too was reticent about sharing our problems with total strangers. God, however, would not relent. I felt compelled to share it with that congregation. Even while I was sharing our testimony, I couldn’t believe I was doing it. I was so embarrassed. After the concert, people told me they could relate to such problems because they had problems of their own. They appreciated my honesty. I began sharing the testimony everywhere we went. It was amazing how God used it. I found out that when people are going through the fire, they want to talk to someone who still smells like smoke. They don’t need someone who has all the answers but hasn’t been there. Several months passed before Jan could add her testimony, but God impressed her to do so at the end of a revival at First Baptist Church in Greenville, Mississippi. Everyone cried along with her as she shared. It was a freeing and healing experience for her. After that, she was able to tell how the bankruptcy affected her personally. People’s responses were unbelievable. They became more open with us than ever before. They shared what they had been through and were going through, and we were blessed by knowing others whom God had led through the valleys of life. In May of 1985, Ted graduated from high school. He didn’t want to go to college, so he just stayed around Pleasant Hill and worked odd jobs for several months. One day, he talked to an air force recruiter, and before long he joined up. After doing so, several of his friends joined different branches of the service as well. Maybe he should have been a recruiter himself. The day he left for basic training was a sad day indeed. An era had come to an end. It was difficult to adjust to life without our son at home. I wrote a song about the experience. I called it Light in the 113

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Trees. We recorded it on an album and also used it in concert. I’ll tell you more about that later. Ted went to basic training in San Antonio, Texas, and did his technical school at the same base. He was training to be a law enforcement specialist. After all his training, he was assigned to his permanent duty station at Bergstrom Air Force Base in Austin, Texas. This was only one hundred miles from where he had grown up in Waco. He was only five hours away from us in Pleasant Hill. We visited often. That made it easier to give him up. We continued to struggle with cash flow problems, so I decided I would try selling real estate once again. I still had my broker’s license in Texas, so that was the place I needed to work. William Thompson, a good friend from Belton, wanted me to join him and sell commercial properties. He was willing to take me on a part-time basis, with the concerts having priority over real estate. He also furnished us an apartment in Belton to use while we were there working. We went home to Louisiana whenever we could. It seemed we were always on the road between the two places in Belton and Pleasant Hill. I hated to leave our peaceful home in the woods and travel to Texas each week. It just broke my heart. Real estate was as dead in Texas as it was in Louisiana. I couldn’t seem to get anything to work. I had painted myself into this corner and I didn’t know what to do. No matter how hard I tried, nothing seemed to go the way I planned. Deals that I used to be able to put together easily would fall apart right and left. I had several large deals 114

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that looked like they would work, yielding large commissions, but they did not come to pass. After six months of chasing my tail, I spent much time in prayer about what I should do. The answer was the same that it had been for several years. We were to stay in the full-time concert ministry, with no sidelines. Jan and I agreed to give up everything else and concentrate on the concert ministry. We did not know what we were going to do about cash flow, but we knew we were going to follow God’s will, regardless of the circumstances. We moved everything back to Pleasant Hill and devoted all our time and energy to the concert ministry. If we had only done that in the first place, instead of buying those rental houses, we could have avoided all the money problems that we were facing, once again. That experience has taught me to follow God no matter where He leads, no matter what it costs, and no matter if it makes sense to others or not. If I had done that in 1978, when God first called us into fulltime ministry, I probably would never have gone bankrupt. I couldn’t go back and do it over again, so I had to go on and let God take care of the past.

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We began knowing more peace than we had ever known before. Circumstances did not change, but we did. The way we looked at circumstances changed as well. I let my broker’s license lapse, so I would not be tempted to make the same mistake again. We burned the bridge behind us. We had more personal time after I quit trying to do at least two things at once. I had nearly always had several things going at the same time. Jan and I began enjoying long walks in the woods and bird watching. Jan had feeders all around, and we had lots of cardinals and other birds to enjoy. We took time to marvel over all God’s creation. This quiet, peaceful existence allowed us some healing time to overcome our hurts and gave us a better understanding of what had happened to us. I began to spend more time in Bible study and prayer. I learned to listen to God, and I could hear Him speak to my heart. I had never taken the time to “be still and know” that He is God. I began to learn more about faith and the application of it in everyday life. Christianity became more practical to me than ever before. These were wonderful times, except for the fi nancial strain. I kept praying that God would sell those rental houses for us so we could get back to basics. I couldn’t get renters into the houses at any price. One day, a man asked me if we would sell our home in the country. He had built the house and wanted to move back into it. I saw that as a partial answer to our dilemma, so we decided to trade it for his house in Pleasant Hill. It was not what we really wanted, but it was a step in the right direction. It would reduce our mortgage payment. We really had no other choice but to sell. I determined to trust God, no matter what. I didn’t understand, but I held on to Him during the difficult times that we were facing. During this time, we experienced God’s provision in miraculous ways. We needed a van to travel in. We were driving an old Mustang hatchback to our concerts. It barely had room to put the sound equipment in. We began to pray specifically for a van. I knew that God could manufacture a van and put it in our driveway. I didn’t care what kind of van or how old it was, just as long as it would serve our needs. 116

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One day, Jan was looking in the paper and found a 1980 Ford work van for $695. It was in Many, only a few miles away. We went to see it. It looked terrible, but we tried it out anyhow. It was so loud that we could hardly hear each other talk. Jan asked, “What do you think?” I yelled over the noise, “The engine sounds good!” The front wheels were shaking badly and the ride was pretty rough. This van only had two seats in it and the back was empty. It was indeed a work truck. It had 120,000 miles on it. It had seen better days. When we got back to the car lot, Jan asked the owner if it would make a good travel van. His face showed his predicament. He answered, “It will make a better work van.” I offered him $650 and he took it. We bought it and began the project of restoring it. We bought new tires and that made all the difference. The tire shake was gone and it ran as smooth as silk. Boy, were we happy. We had it painted tan and blue and began to work on the inside. We insulated the walls and ceiling and Jan upholstered the whole thing. I built a fold-down bed in the back and left room for our sound equipment behind it. It looked amazing. Most people thought we had a new van. We were prouder of it than we had been our Lincolns, Cadillacs, bus, and airplanes. We drove that old van until it had 450,000 miles on it. We had the engine overhauled a couple of times, but it was fairly inexpensive to maintain. The tires that we had bought lasted over 80,000 miles before we replaced them. That van was like the shoes of the children of Israel. It would not wear out. I would recommend that if you ever have need of a van that you ask God for one. He has good ones. Miracle or luck? What do you think? I know! One day in late fall, I got a call from Calvin Cantrell, the associate evangelism director for the Louisiana Baptist Convention. He asked if we could do the music for a lay renewal weekend in Indianola, Mississippi. I told him we couldn’t afford to go because we had concerts on that weekend and couldn’t afford to give up a paying event to do a free one. He said, “I’ll ask them to pay you.” I answered, “We are already scheduled for that Sunday morning.” He asked, “Who is it with.” I told him it was Billy Burkett. He said, “I know Billy. Call 117

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him and tell him to reschedule.” I called him and Billy graciously rescheduled another date. I called Calvin back and told him that we had rescheduled. He said, “I called the pastor in Indianola and he said they would pay you to come.” When we arrived in Indianola, they treated us royally. It was amazing how they responded to our testimony. They gave us five hundred dollars, a king’s ransom to us at the time. We sold more albums there than ever before. We were elated. On the following Monday morning, Calvin called and said, “You have a love offering coming from Indianola. The pastor just called and told me that someone stood up in the Sunday night service and said, ‘We need to give the Salleys a love offering.’” The pastor told the members that if anyone wanted to make an offering to us, bring it by the church office. We really needed however much the offering might be. About a week later, we got a check in the mail for over two thousand dollars. In the same PO Box there was a bill from the IRS for approximately the same amount. We got the bill and the money to pay it in the same box. Is God good or what? Miracle or coincidence? What do you think? I know! God was teaching us how to trust Him. If we will place what faith we have in Him, He will teach us how to trust. That doesn’t always mean that He gives us everything that we want because our wants are selfish. Soon it became obvious that, unless God intervened, we were going to lose the rental houses as well as the home in Pleasant Hill. We were powerless to prevent it. Our income just would not cover our expenses. Even in the midst of this financial storm, we were at peace. We knew, no matter what the outward circumstances were, success in life means following God’s will. I had to adjust my thinking and realize that God’s Word is reality. Circumstances can be manipulated by Satan, making them appear real. This was a very difficult adjustment to make. I began to pray that God would show me who He really was, regardless of what others said about Him. I asked Him to reveal himself to me at all costs. He began doing so. We are still on this journey together. He is faithful, and I must remain faithful to seek Him. When 118

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storms assail you, God doesn’t always calm the storm but keeps us safe in them. Eventually we weather them. I had to face the fact that God’s deliverance does not always come in the way I expect or on my time schedule. These five years of struggle were preparing us for something. What was it? God was teaching us some incredible lessons. We were learning to be persistent. We were also learning that He was the Source, and regardless of the turmoil around us, we could abide in Him and find the peace that passes all understanding. Most people would pay any amount of money for that peace. One Sunday night in June 1988, we were coming back from the Houston, Texas, where we had done two concerts that day, when God spoke to me. He didn’t speak audibly but with a very strong impression. It was so clear that I felt like I was on holy ground. The message was that He was going to use us among Southern Baptists and that He was going to restore us financially. I didn’t know what to make of all that. When we got home I told Jan about the experience and we went to bed. The next morning Larry Cox, a friend of mine from the Brotherhood Commission of the Southern Baptist Convention, called to book us to do an event for the National Fellowship of Baptist Men. He was the director of that organization, which was a part of the Brotherhood Commission. After we worked out the date, he said, “Did you know that I am leaving this position and going to work for Mississippi College?” I said, “No, I didn’t know.” He said that the leaders at the Brotherhood Commission had been asking him to recommend someone to replace him but he had not felt any leadership from God to do so until now. Then he asked, “Would you be interested?” I said, “No, I don’t think so.” After I hung up and talked to Jan, we realized that may be what the episode had been about the night before. We began to pray about it but the answer seemed clear to us. I called Larry back and told him we would be willing to discuss it further. His boss, Douglas Beggs, called and talked to me about it. He was a friend that I had known in Texas. They offered me a job as the director of the National Fellowship of Baptist Men. Another miracle? 119

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The Brotherhood

e accepted the job and moved to Memphis in July 1988. As we were searching for a place to live, Jan and Lyda Lunceford were driving around looking in Olive Branch, Mississippi, a suburb of Memphis. Jan saw a house on wooded acreage and said to Lyda, “Why can’t we get a place like that?” Later she was looking in the paper and found a house for rent in Olive Branch. She went to look at it, and lo and behold, it was the same house. We rented it immediately and moved in. It was just what we needed. It was kind of like living in the country, but it wasn’t very remote. We were grateful for God’s provision once again. Miracle or coincidence? For the first time in years, I was on salary and received a regular paycheck. The financial recovery that God had told me about had begun. It didn’t happen overnight because we had too much fi nancial baggage from Waco and Pleasant Hill. We were allowed to continue our concert ministry representing the National Fellowship of Baptist Men. This was an organization that recruited volunteers to serve on short time mission assignments through the Foreign and Home Mission Boards. We were able to take the message through our concerts. It was a natural match. We traveled with the expenses being paid by the Brotherhood Commission. This job required lots of travel. I was constantly going all over the country for meetings and concerts. Almost everywhere I went, people

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wanted Jan to come with me and sing. Most of my fellow workers had to travel without their wives and I got to take mine with me. What a deal. Jan thrived with a steady income coming in, but I struggled because I was not a very institutional person. I had nearly always been selfemployed and didn’t have to answer to anyone but God and Jan. Now I had bosses. I didn’t set the agenda. I had office duties and endless meetings. Every day I would come home and Jan would ask me if I had quit today. The answer was always the same. “Not yet.” I had made it another day. I knew that God had called us to this position. That knowledge kept me there. I wanted to be where He wanted me to be more than I wanted to do my own thing. I was very grateful for the opportunity, but the transition was very difficult. The travel helped a lot, because it kept me out of the grind of office duties. I was used to officing out of my pickup. I usually had an office but didn’t spend much time in it. At the Brotherhood Commission, I had great secretaries who remain friends until this day. Jenny Huls was my first secretary. She was a jewel. She took care of everything while I was on the road. After a couple of years, Jenny moved to another position in the building and I had to hire a new secretary. I hired a young lady named Jane White. She had been living in New York but wanted to relocate to the South. She was great. Not only was she a good secretary but she was also a singer and performer and understood our ministry completely. It was a perfect match. She remains a friend until this day. The National Fellowship of Baptist Men was an organization designed to involve people in affinity groups that would unite them with others of similar interests in a team of people who could be used individually and collectively in mission efforts worldwide. We had fellowships for agriculture, veterinary medicine, education, sports, performing arts, health professions, the legal field, and construction, as well as several other fields. There were fourteen in all. 121

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We tried to network nationally through all the state conventions, encouraging individual states and locals to organize into corresponding affinity groups. Our job was cut out for us. It was the same kind of organization that politicians try to organize. You can imagine how much travel was involved. Since our fellowships were coeducational, we decided to change the name to National Fellowship of Baptists in Missions, which was a more appropriate name. It was difficult to get women to understand that they were invited to join us if we kept the old name. It was difficult enough just being attached to the Brotherhood Commission. Jan and I were just about to get our fi nancial feet under us when in 1990 the Internal Revenue Service continued to harass us to pay taxes from as far back as 1979. By then our tax bill had grown to over $90,000! It was obvious that we would never be able to pay such a bill. One woman from the IRS called me to try to collect the taxes. When I told her of our plight, she said, “Why don’t you fi le bankruptcy?” I told her that we already had done so in 1983, and besides, everyone knows that bankruptcy won’t wipe out federal taxes. She said, “It will if they are over ten years old.” I told her I would check into it. I contacted an attorney about fi ling bankruptcy again to wipe out those taxes and he said, “You can’t wipe out federal taxes with bankruptcy.” I told him what the IRS lady had said. He did some research and found out that you could. It had been over seven years since we had fi led bankruptcy and the taxes were over ten years old. We were qualified to do so in all facets of the case. We prayed about it and determined that it was our only option. Here we go again. It was the same thing all over again. This was not an easy decision for us. We fi led bankruptcy yet again in December 1990. Even after we fi led, the IRS continued to hound us even though we legally owed them nothing. Almost every person who contacted us didn’t know that our tax bill had been discharged. It’s amazing that the right hand didn’t know what the left hand was doing at the IRS. Eventually they left us alone. Ever since we had gone to Memphis, Jan and I had hoped to buy 122

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some land in the country and build a house. We had been looking for land all over north Mississippi. We finally found eighty acres in Strayhorn, just outside Senatobia. Can you imagine the gall of someone who has just gone through bankruptcy a second time asking for a loan to buy eighty acres and build a house? You would think that a banker would laugh you out of his office. That is leaving God out of the equation. I had a banker friend in Olive Branch whom I approached about the prospect and he loaned me the full amount necessary to buy the land and build the house. Not one dime out of pocket. Miracle or good fortune? Maybe it was my good looks. Maybe Jan’s but not mine. We bought the land fi rst and then sold off forty acres and built a house on the remainder. We were really in the country again. I had to drive sixty miles to work, but it was freeway nearly all the way. It took some of my coworkers an hour to get to work from where they lived, and that’s about what it took me. We loved it there. We had the privacy that we loved. You couldn’t even see the house from the road. We were surrounded by trees and beautiful scenery along with the wildlife, especially the coyotes that we heard every night. We joined Strayhorn Baptist Church and made a lot of new friends. We weren’t able to be there much because we traveled so much, but our friendships were solid. We had a lot of fun with them. There wasn’t much to do in Strayhorn, but we managed to visit regularly in friends’ homes as well as host them in ours. While we lived in Mississippi, we didn’t get to see Ted much. He was stationed in Austin and we didn’t get out that way much. He finished his hitch and was discharged from the air force in 1990. He stayed on in Austin to live and work, but he didn’t have any career skills so struggled financially. One day as I was talking to him on the phone, I told him he needed to go to college. After some persuasion, he decided that he would come and live with us in Mississippi and start to school at Northwest Mississippi Junior College in Senatobia. He did well for about a year, but he missed Texas. He decided to go to Tarleton State University in Stephenville, Texas, for his sophomore 123

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year. He majored in business. God came through again and saw him through to graduation with no fi nancial help from us whatsoever. I continued to long to be in Louisiana again. The feeling just wouldn’t go away no matter what I did. It was obvious that I wasn’t going to make a career out of denominational service. I made it until 1993 when we sold our home and moved to Shreveport. God had been gracious to us there. He had used us among Southern Baptists just the way He had said over four and one half years earlier. He had also begun to restore us fi nancially, just the way He had said. Our work there had come to an end. We resigned and moved to Louisiana. We moved back by faith just as we had done several times before. What we would do from there remained to be seen. We knew we would continue the concert ministry and watch for what opportunities God would provide.

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Our Family Grows

e rented a house in Shreveport while we were looking for a place to buy. We also bought ten acres in town with the intention of building on it. They were asking $20,000 but I offered them $10,000. Jan said, “They will never take that,” but they did. One day while we walking around on the land, Jan said, “I don’t think I can live like this. It is so noisy.” Even though this land was at the end of a street and was very private, you could hear the traffic all around. We were close to an industrial district and you could hear the sounds of industry all around. We weren’t far from General Motors and a railroad track, which added to the noise. We wanted the quiet of the real country. We sold the place for a tidy profit, which added to our war chest. We not only continued to look for a place to live but business opportunities as well. When one is walking by faith, what is one supposed to do? Look for supernatural activity. We finally found just the right place in Marthaville, my mother’s hometown. We were once again among my friends and relatives. The place was perfect. It was a four-bedroom, two-bath house. It also had two half baths as well and two fireplaces. It sat on fourteen acres of some of the most beautiful land you have ever seen. It had a huge shop and another thousand-square-foot office building as well. It was fenced and

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cross-fenced and had a large pond as well as part of another pond that we shared with a neighbor. It was on a gravel road that was hardly traveled at all. If we heard a car coming, it was very likely coming to our house or was lost. We were so far out that we had to go toward town to go hunting. It was perfectly quiet. You could hear the wings of birds flying by. You could see the stars very clearly because there were no competing lights. God had given us another miracle less than three years after bankruptcy. Once again I went into business for myself. We had made enough profit on the sale of our house and the land in Shreveport to give us a nice nest egg. We began investing in real estate again. We found that there was a great need for housing in Natchitoches, about thirty miles away from where we lived. The bankers were very happy to loan the money needed to begin building. We bought a lot in the Shamard Heights subdivision and began a spec house. Jan drew the plan, as always. It was really nice and roomy. The house sold immediately and I traded the contract on it for thirteen more lots in the subdivision along with some cash. We began another house immediately. We quickly sold the second house and once again traded that contract for seven more lots in Shamard along with some more cash. We eventually built eight houses in Shamard and several others in Natchitoches and some on Toledo Bend Lake near Many, Louisiana. We sold the remaining lots to builders and individuals. We had several good years in building houses. God had reestablished us in business. When Ted graduated from college, he decided to join me in business. We were elated over the prospect of having him near us again. What else could a person ask for? A wife? While he was in school, he met a wonderful Christian girl from Burleson, Texas, and fell in love with her. They met at the Baptist Student Union. It was a perfect match. This was the girl that we had been praying for ever since Ted was a child. The goodness of God continues to astound me, even after all we have experienced. Nothing is too hard for him! 126

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We remodeled the office building on our place and turned it into a nice little house for Ted and Christy. It was perfect for a beginning home. They were as snug as a bug in a rug. We got to see them every day. We all joined First Baptist Church in Marthaville. It was like coming home to a place where we had never been before. We had sung in that church in the past but had never been members. It was the nearest thing to a family that we had ever found in a church. You wouldn’t think that a small place like that would offer so many social opportunities, but it did. Ted and Christy will tell you to this day that they never had so many friends and so much fun before or since. We feel the same. Jan and I continued with our concert ministry as artists in residence with the North American Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention. That is a long title but a much simpler job than the one I had at the Brotherhood Commission. We were unpaid volunteers and didn’t have to go to meetings. What a relief. We handled our own schedule and pretty well did whatever we wanted. Free at last! We continued on the concert trail until 1997 and fi nally gave it up. We felt like God was finished with that ministry. All of our years 127

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of travel had worn us out. Jan wanted to be at home after years of travel. She got her wish. I still liked to travel but was tired of setting up equipment and the overall grind of going from one venue to another. We could now devote full time to business once again. We were able to get involved unconditionally in the local church again after many years of dropping by occasionally. We sang a lot, taught Sunday school, and did whatever else needed to be done. Jan was always involved in some construction or decorating project at the church. A woman from Michigan, Janet Norman, moved to Marthaville and began a community choir. We took on music projects that you wouldn’t think a small town would attempt. The choir grew to about fifty members and did amazingly well considering that very few could even read music. The members were from numerous churches of different denominations. We were very ecumenical in our makeup but never had any problems along that line. It seems to me that the church should be like that in a perfect world. We became quite sought after in the area. We would do a Fourth of July program and a Christmas program as well. The production was complete with music and drama. When we put on a program, the house was packed beyond capacity. We had so many people in the audience that our cooling systems were strained just to keep up—especially in July. It was a huge undertaking, but it was done well. We were unified in a unique way. God used Janet in an unusual way. After several years Janet died and even though we attempted to continue the choir, it was never the same again. We finally disbanded. What a memorable experience. My dad’s family began having reunions at our house at Thanksgiving every year. The first year we had sixty-two people and were able to accommodate them all. They came from as far away as California, Washington, and Georgia. We had a ball. Several of them stayed with us for about a week. We continued that tradition for several years. Our home was truly a retreat for us and a lot of other people when they needed one. 128

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We had a big dock on our pond from which we fed the fish. They would come up when we called. It was amazing to see. They would boil around and churn up the water to get at that fish food. Jan even named some of them. It wasn’t hard to catch them, but we seldom fished. Some of our friends and relatives would come and fish. We told them they could catch all they wanted but we weren’t going to help them clean them, and we didn’t. One day, Ted decided that he would go to Shreveport and talk to a Realtor about making some offers on rental properties. I went along just for the ride, but when we got there I recognized the opportunity that Shreveport offered. We both started buying rental properties in the area. Ted and I didn’t partner in the rental properties. We each did our own thing. We built our own inventory of properties and managed them separately. Any property that we acquired was for sale if the price was right. Our inventory rose and fell with the market. Our cash flow was not dependent solely upon the market because rentals were always good. Eventually the state passed a law that all builders had to be licensed to build in Louisiana. I didn’t want to become licensed because of the cost pertaining to the process, so I hired licensed builders and continued to build houses. The profits were greatly reduced by having to pay a separate builder to do what we could do just as well. I decided to give up building and concentrate on the Shreveport investments. The risk was too great for the reward. God had provided for us in Shreveport before He closed the door in Natchitoches. Before long, Ted and Christy got homesick for Texas and decided to move to Burleson, where Christy’s family was. Ted got a job as a builder for a home building company. He worked at that for some time, but just like his dad he had trouble adjusting to working for someone else. It wasn’t long before he began to build and sell swings and rocking chairs out of cypress. Over time he built up a pretty good business. Ted and Christy had to come to Louisiana to get lumber so we saw

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them pretty often. He continued to buy and sell rental properties in Shreveport as well, even though they lived in Texas. Our first grandchild was born while they lived in Burleson. It was a boy and they named him Clayton Alan. What a boy! Of course, he was the cutest that ever was born. We were and still are proud grandparents. Ted and Christy eventually moved to Canton where they would be closer to the market at First Monday Trade Days, a famous market for just about anything. I’m told they even sell fleas. Ted and Christy bought some acreage there and built a shop to build his rockers in. They were planning to build a house but never got around to it because God intervened. One day, Ted called me and told me that he thought God was calling him into the ministry. We were elated. We discussed the possibility of him going to seminary. There was an extension of New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary in Shreveport, so they decided to move back to Louisiana and begin work on a master’s degree. Jan and I had bought a house in Shreveport to stay in during the week while we worked, but on the weekend we went home to Marthaville. Ted, Christy, and Clayton moved into our big house and we took Jim’s apartment for our weekend visits. That worked out well. Ted had a shop to build his rockers and swings in. He drove back and forth once a week to classes in Shreveport with occasional trips to New Orleans for seminars. When Jan’s younger brother Jim was about to retire, he had no place to go so we invited him to come and live on our place in Marthaville. We built him an apartment in the end of our shop. It really turned out nice. He loved it. It had a great view of the pond. Now we had two apartments as well as the main house. Jim lived there for only a short time before we found out that he had a terminal illness. It wasn’t long before he succumbed to the illness and we were left alone with all those living quarters and memories. Our place had been a retreat for him in his last days as well as a starting place for Ted and Christy. 130

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One day, Ted and Christy had Clayton to announce to us that he was going to be a big brother. What a blessing! We were going to be grandparents again. What could be better? My quiver was getting fuller, not with children but with grandchildren. It wasn’t long before Ted was offered the pastorate of Friendship Baptist Church in Many. The church had a parsonage for them to live in so they vacated our house and moved onto the church field. It was a perfect situation for them. Ted quit building rockers and concentrated on pastoring, studying, and real estate. The people loved them and would do anything for them. We sold our house in Shreveport and came back home. I hadn’t settled into city living any better than I had in the past. It was good to be home again. I still had to go to Shreveport a couple of times a week and we did the rest of our business by phone. It wasn’t long before our new grandchild was born, another boy. They named him John Parker. We called him Parker. Again he was the cutest around. There were none like him. The people in Ted and Christy’s church nearly took those kids away from them. They were always coming to get them and take them somewhere. Babysitters were not a problem for them. Clayton started calling both me and Ted “Daddy.” One day, I said maybe I could be Big Daddy. That started it, and I remain Big Daddy to both of the boys. They only lived a few miles through the country so we got to see them all the time. They would come over for Sunday lunch almost every week. We got to babysit the boys regularly as well. How great is our God?

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Our pastor resigned in 2000 and the church asked me to be the interim pastor. Before too long, they asked me to stay on as pastor. After all those years of fearing that God would call me to preach, He did. I had served in many positions in ministry, but preaching three times a week was a new challenge. I had spoken all over the country but had never preached. It was an entirely different thing. God used me in spite of myself. God blessed us. We baptized a lot of people and became the largest per capita mission giving church in our association. It was one of the most rewarding times that I had ever spent, but it was the hardest job that I ever had. People cannot understand the burdens that a pastor carries until they become one. It’s your job! You have to be available twenty-four hours a day. 132

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I continued in business in Shreveport, but most of my time was given to my church. Our business continued to flourish. We built up to where we had about fifty properties. After Jack Tarrance died, we hired a new Realtor, Chris Holloway, and a property manager, Emily Mitchell. They both remain with me today and are valued additions to our team. After Ted graduated from seminary, they went back to Burleson again. They planned to start a new church. Boy, did I hate to see them leave and take our grandchildren away from us. They felt it was God’s will and so they moved. Starting a new church is tough in the best of situations. They started out like gangbusters but before long Satan started trouble among the membership and literally killed the ministry. It broke Ted and Christy’s hearts. They had such high hopes and they were dashed. Ted began building houses in Weatherford, Texas, and built up quite a business there. His houses sold well and he was sought after to build some custom houses as well. He could draw great house plans just like Jan and he had the experience of real estate business as well. He could finish a house faster than anyone I had ever seen. When other builders were half finished with their houses, Ted was putting the finishing touches on his.

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A Matter of the Heart

n the summer of 2002, I experienced some chest pains but refused to go to the doctor to have it checked out. I said, “I will wait until my next checkup and tell the doctor about it and see what he says.” Even though I didn’t have any more episodes, I casually mentioned it to my doctor at the VA at the next visit. He said, “We had better check that out,” so he scheduled an appointment with the cardiologist clinic. They did a stress test and said that things looked okay, but there was just enough evidence that they needed to do further tests. Something just wasn’t quite right. They scheduled a battery of tests but nothing was definitive. They finally scheduled a heart cath, and after it was finished the doctor came into the recovery room and announced, “You have at least three blockages, and your best hope for survival is to have heart surgery as soon as possible.” What a shock! For the first time in my life I had serious health issues. That nearly knocked Jan and me for a loop. We had some serious decisions to make. We decided to go ahead with the surgery. In January 2003, they sent me to the VA hospital in Little Rock, Arkansas, where they did quadruple bypass surgery on me. This was a difficult time. Entering the operating room without knowing if I would come out again was disconcerting, but I can’t say that I was afraid because God always give us the strength to go through whatever we face.

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I came through okay, and the surgeon said that things went as expected. I looked like death warmed over and felt about the same. After several days, they sent me home with an appointment to be back for a checkup in two weeks. I was as weak as pond water. I could not seem to get my strength back. Something was still wrong. I just couldn’t bounce back. When I returned for the checkup, they found that my heart was out of rhythm. The top chamber was beating at a different rate than the bottom chamber. This required me to go back to the Shreveport VA hospital for another procedure. They had to shock my heart in an attempt to get it back in rhythm. Before they could do this, they put me on Coumadin to get my blood thin enough to keep from having a blood clot break loose. They prescribed a level that they thought would be appropriate. After a couple of weeks, I got to feeling so bad one night that Jan had to rush me to the hospital. I thought I would die any moment. I didn’t know if I was going to make it or not. When we got to the hospital, they put me through several tests and found that my blood had gotten so thin that I was in danger of bleeding out if I had any cut or even a bruise. They wanted to keep me in the hospital, but they didn’t have a bed. The doctor told me that I could go home, but I was not to even get out of my recliner until my blood thickened. He said that I should not shave or do anything that might cause me to bleed. They took me off the Coumadin until further notice. After a couple of weeks, they assigned me to a Coumadin clinic where I had to report for a blood test every few days. They lowered my dosage and watched me like a hawk. After several weeks, they got my blood like they wanted it and brought me in to shock my heart back into rhythm. They tried to do it medicinally, but it didn’t work, so they had to put me to sleep and shock my heart. They had to repeat the procedure four times before they finally got it right. The procedure burned the skin on my chest and back so badly that it looked like someone had put a hot iron on me. 135

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After several days in the hospital, they sent me home and prescribed Plavix and aspirin, along with several other medications. After several weeks, I began having terrible headaches. One day, I was sitting in the swing on the back porch and a felt a numbness start in the toes on my right foot. It was like a band about six inches wide that crept up my leg and up the entire right side of my body. I couldn’t imagine what was happening. The attack went away about as fast as it had come on. About thirty minutes later, it happened again. This time I realized that I had temporarily lost the use of the right side of my body. That got my attention! I told Jan I had to go to the hospital. Again we made a flying trip with the numbness attacks continuing every few minutes. They immediately put me into intensive care and began doing all kinds of tests. I was back and forth between ICU and a private room for several days. They determined that my blood was too thin, causing a bleed on the left side of my brain. That was bringing on these TIAs, or mini strokes. They took me off Plavix and left me on the aspirin only as a blood thinner. After several days, the attacks finally went away. There wasn’t any permanent damage, but my right side was weak for a while. I had to learn to write all over again. I couldn’t get my hand to do what I wanted it to. I practiced until I fi nally got back to normal. I continued to carry on my duties as pastor throughout all this, except for the times I was in the hospital. It was tough, but I kept at it. I would preach from a stool. Anytime I got excited, the people would fear for my safety. They thought I might die behind the pulpit. About five months after my surgery, I started having heart problems again. Again I was rushed to the hospital and put in ICU. They did all the same tests and found that all the grafts that they had put in during surgery were blocked again. They sent me by ambulance back to Little Rock to decide if they had to do bypass surgery again. After several weeks in the hospital, they determined that the only thing they could do was put in one stint and put me on medication that should keep me functioning. When I finally got back home, I still had problems from time to time. I began to wonder if I had made a mistake by having surgery in the first place. In 2004 I finally realized that I had to give up my church. It was 136

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too much for me. I continued in the real estate business, which was not as demanding as pastoring. We bought a house in Shreveport and sold our house in Marthaville. I still miss our place there, but I realize that I need to be closer to the hospital than I was in Marthaville. I continued to have heart problems for three years. I had to carry nitroglycerin with me everywhere I went. I still do, even though I am doing much better now. Ted and I began to talk about the possibility of coming to Weatherford and joining him in the building business. I decided that we would give it a try, but I wanted to be on my own instead of partnering. I became an investor and hired him to build for me. Our profit only came when we sold a house. He built a home for us and we moved to Weatherford but kept our place in Shreveport as well. We didn’t settle in out there even though we were closer to family. We still knew we should be in Shreveport. We maintained our rental business there all that time. After building ten spec houses in Weatherford and Granbury, we sold our home and moved back to Shreveport. We had problems getting rid of the last four houses, but we finally did after losing money on them. We built us a new home on five acres in Keithville, Louisiana, a suburb of Shreveport, where we live today. It is like being in the country but close to town. We can be at Wal-Mart in five minutes. I guess that is important. I still miss Marthaville, but I realize this is where we need to be. By the time we got back to Shreveport from Weatherford, we had sold off most of our rental houses. We only had about eighteen left. We began to rebuild our business here. We started buying rental houses again. We didn’t sell any of them for several years and eventually built up to where we had about one hundred. We began lease-purchasing many of the houses and found a great deal of interest in that program. This gives people the opportunity to build equity in their houses rather than continuing to pay rent. As lease-purchasers, they have to do their own maintenance. Some do a good job at it and some don’t. Those who don’t can’t seem to shake the renter mentality.

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God’s Restoration

ack in 1985, Jan and I had to give up our work with World Hunger Relief, Inc. and had minimal contact with it for years. That was one of the hardest things that we had ever had to do. It was almost like giving up a child. We had founded it and nourished it until we could no longer do so. It continued to minister around the world. It had its ups and downs, but as time went along it flourished.

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He was the one whose vision was realized in the World Hunger Farm. Jan and I had founded the organization but the agricultural part of it didn’t come into being until Carl joined us. Even after Carl’s death, the leaders continued to build upon his dream. Jan and I learned that WHRI didn’t really need us. It belonged to God. We had been privileged to be a part of His work in founding and nourishing this organization, but we had no ownership of it whatsoever. Neither did Carl. In 2005 I called the World Hunger Farm and said to the lady who answered, “This is Bob Salley. You probably don’t know me, but my wife, Jan, and I were the founders of WHRI. We would like to come by and visit the farm.” She got Neil Miller, the executive director on the phone. He knew who we were, but he said, “I heard you had died.” I said, “Not yet.” At that time I wasn’t sure I wasn’t about to. I was still having trouble with my heart and it was touch and go. We set a date to visit the farm.

When we arrived for our appointment, there was a reporter and a cameraman from the Waco News Tribune. They followed us around all over the farm, interviewing us and snapping photos. In a few days, there was an article on the front page of the paper about our return to the farm. We totally weren’t expecting that. 139

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Because of my health issues, I had difficulty doing all the walking that was required to tour the farm. I had to sit down and rest a great deal. I made it but was worn out from the experience. Even so, it was exhilarating. It was a great visit. We got to reconnect with Jean Ryther and relive some of the high moments of our ministry together at the farm. We were highly impressed with the progress the organization had made since our last contact. It had grown considerably and was training more interns than ever before. The leadership was more organized than we had ever been in the early days. They had their mission well defi ned and were following a plan that God had given them. As a result of that visit, God laid WHRI on our hearts again. We realized that He was bringing us full circle to help with funding for them again. In subsequent days, we worked with the leadership to determine what their greatest needs were. We decided that we needed to start an endowment to help cover the administrative costs of WHRI. We set it up and began making donations to it. Others have contributed to it as well. Over the years, the endowment has grown but is still woefully short of our goal. I felt like we had a cause again. God hadn’t given up on us. We still had a purpose. We continued to pray about how God wanted to fund the endowment. I began to dream about a way that we could contribute through our real estate company. What evolved is amazing. We put all our properties in a company that we named New Song Investments, LLC. Why not? God had given us a new song and a new purpose. We had practically “hung our harps on the willow tree” because we felt like we were in a strange land. Now we had a new dream and a new fervor. I feel that God used this new mission to help heal me. After several years of touch and go, I am healthier than I have been in years. New Song Investments has grown tremendously. Even though we were making donations from the profits, we still didn’t have a comprehensive plan for funding the endowment. Slowly it began to emerge. God brought it about little by little. We have now started a new nonprofit organization that was set up for perpetual giving to missions and ministry projects. We named it The Manna Fund. 140

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Our goal is to donate rental properties to The Manna Fund, which generates income for the projects. The first project of The Manna Fund is the endowment at World Hunger Relief. When this endowment is funded, God will send other projects. It is all working out according to His schedule. God has provided the fi nancing for these projects through local banks. He has put together one of the best teams that I have ever seen. John Walker is the general manager of New Song Investments as well as the Manna Fund. Our property manager is Emily Mitchell with Shreveport Bossier Real Estate, which is owned by Brad Barre. Brandon Mitchell, Emily’s husband, oversees our construction and maintenance. Brett Johnson helps us in acquisitions. Gail Kirkpatrick at United Title is helping us with our title work. Matt Sawrie, Greg Doyal, Rick Holland, David Booker, Tom Martin, Shane Blythe, Patony Morrow, Greg Lott, Patrick Hemmings, and Larry Little, along with others, are helping with our banking needs. Heath Crager is our CPA. There are too many others to mention. God is great. He can do all things. All things are possible with Him. Nothing is too hard for him. We are now exploring the possibility of a new recording project with Charles F. Brown, a longtime friend and highly acclaimed arranger and producer from Dallas. This will be our first in over twenty years. We are planning to offer all our recordings, old and new, to help with our fundraising efforts. God has indeed given us a new song. During our ministry, we have released seven albums and I did one comedy album featuring some of my foolishness. Charlie Brown arranged and or produced part or all of four of the music albums. Earlier I talked about God promising to restore us financially. He has done so and then some. We are doing more profitable business with income-producing properties than we ever did with speculative ones. God has been faithful to do what He said He would do—yet another miracle from a miracle-working God! God has not only restored us financially, He has restored us emotionally. He has restored my health. He may be restoring our music ministry as well. We had “hung our harps on a willow tree,” but are considering taking them down and “singing the songs of Zion” once 141

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again. God may be bringing back the music. Where He takes all this is totally up to Him. We are available if He wants us. I don’t have to be a mover and shaker in this effort. I’d rather watch Him move and shake. He does it much better than I do, and He never gets tired.

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You Can Trust Him!

fter I resigned as pastor of Marthaville, First Baptist, we joined Summer Grove Baptist Church in Shreveport. I thought we would be used in various ways in our church as well as in others. I thought we would be called upon to preach or sing in churches from time to time, but we got very few opportunities. It was a very difficult time for me. I had always been involved in some sort of ministry since I was a teenager. Now we had nothing to do. I chomped at the bits to have a place of ministry. (All the while God was building another one and I didn’t even know it.) It was obvious that I couldn’t pastor a church. My health wouldn’t allow for that. I thought that surely there was something that I could do. I was called upon to substitute teach on occasion, but by and large it seemed that our ministry was over. We basically quit singing except on rare occasions. Any time we visited Marthaville, we would sing but seldom anywhere else. Even though I was seeking God’s will with all my heart, it didn’t seem that I was fi nding anything. This went on for over five years. During that time, God redefined my relationship with Him. I knew in my heart that God still had something for us to do, but I had to learn to “be still and know that He is God.” During this time of inactivity, God taught me more about trust. I believed that He had something that He was going to use us for. He gave

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us some direction by getting us hooked up with the people at World Hunger Relief. God’s will usually unfolds a little at the time. Watch how things play out and do the next thing. I have learned that if I do the thing that is before me, then that is enough. The next thing after that will emerge when God is ready. Sometimes, God has to slow us down or even cease our activity in order to get our attention. I grew more during this time than I had ever grown in all my life. These were times of reflection. I learned how to listen to the Holy Spirit. I’m telling you, my friends, I didn’t know how to hear Him. He taught me how. Before that time, I didn’t know much about the Holy Spirit. I had been afraid of Him. I was afraid of what He might make me do. The Spirit didn’t come just for the charismatics. He came for the entire church of Jesus Christ. I now recognize the Spirit’s work in the body of Christ. Sometimes, people act as if the Spirit’s part is a minor one in the Trinity. Nothing could be farther from the truth. God sent the Spirit on the day of Pentecost and He has never left. The church no longer had to access God through a priest. Each of us can come into the very presence of God through the Spirit. Some preachers preach and pray for God the Spirit to visit us. Songwriters write songs imploring the Spirit to visit us. That is bad theology. He doesn’t come and go at our request. The Spirit came once and He has never left us and never will. He is always available to us. He is closer than a brother. You can’t go anywhere that He isn’t there. How can you hear the Holy Spirit when you don’t even know where He is and how to access Him? Oh, we know mentally that He is supposed to live in our hearts, but practically we think He comes and goes according to our behavior. Before Pentecost, God spoke through angels, visions, priests, and prophets. After Pentecost, He spoke, and continues to speak, to us through the Spirit. Imagine that—we have access to God anytime of the day or night. We can talk to Him any time every day. That’s why Christ died—to give us direct access to God and restore our relationship to Him and make it just like the relationship that Adam and Eve had with Him. Not only did He create us, but he communes with us as well. Henry Blackaby in his book Experiencing God points out that 144

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God speaks by the Spirit through the Bible, prayer, the church, and circumstances. If we don’t study the Bible, if we don’t pray, if we don’t worship with the church, then God has to speak to us through circumstances. Sometimes, those circumstances can be very difficult. Many of my circumstances have been extremely difficult. You have read of some of them. Those circumstances have driven me to seek God in every way that He speaks. I want to hear Him. It has become my main goal in life to hear God. Most people never experience God personally. Some say they never hear God speak. They think that the power of God and the miracles of God were for a different dispensation. Hebrews 13:8 says, “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and forever.” His power is available to us just as it was available to the Bible characters. Have you experienced a miracle lately? Why not? I experience them regularly. Have you heard God speak lately? Why not? I hear Him speak all the time. I have related quite a few miracles in this book. Each of them happened just the way I wrote about, only greater. I couldn’t relate all the miracles that we have experienced in one book, but I would like to relate a few more. I remember a trip to the conference center at Ridgecrest, North Carolina. Jan and I had gone there to be a part of a World Hunger Convocation. After the conference was over, we had only one and a half days to be in Bryan, Texas. We drove to Chattanooga, Tennessee after the conference finished that night. We pulled over and slept until morning and drove on to Birmingham, Alabama. We stopped for fuel and I saw that the water pump on the bus was leaking badly. Water was just pouring out of it. I fi lled it up with water, Jan and I prayed that God would get us to Bryan on time, and we started out. I continuously watched the temperature gauge to make sure that the bus wasn’t overheating. Every three or four hours we had to stop and put water in the radiator, but we kept on barreling along toward Bryan. What else could we do? By the time we got to Alto, Texas, it was late the next night. We pulled over in a roadside park and slept until morning. When we woke up, I drove into town to fi ll the radiator 145

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up again. I opened the cap, put the hose in, and turned on the water. Water started to flow back out of an already full radiator. I looked down and the water pump had quit leaking. We went on to Bryan and made it in plenty of time. That water pump never leaked again. It was still working fine when we sold the bus. Miracle or not? Decide for yourself. I know it was! One day, I was relating this story to a Jewish doctor who was a friend of mine. When I finished, he said, “Salley, you beat anything that I have ever seen. With all the problems in the world, and you waste a miracle on a water pump.” I really got a good laugh out of his response. We were doing concerts in Mississippi one Sunday. The morning concert was in Jackson and the night concert was in Philadelphia, Mississippi. After lunch we went back to check out of our motel. When we pulled up to park in front of our room, the radiator on our van literally burst. Water was running everywhere. What were we going to do? We asked God to help us and began looking in the Yellow Pages to find someone who could help us. Since it was Sunday, there were no shops open. We found an AutoZone only a block from our motel. I called it and asked the clerk if it had a radiator for our van and it had one in stock. I picked it up and Jan and I began to take the old radiator out and put in the new one. We had never done anything like that before and had very few tools. Would you believe that we fi nished, took a quick bath, and still made it in time to do the concert? Jan makes it a habit to pray that God will send an angel with a tool belt and grease under his fingernails along with us wherever we go. He does! We have traveled millions of miles and God has gotten us to every location, whether driving or flying. We have had mechanical problems, but we never missed a concert as a result. Just recently Jan and I were traveling with some friends in our motor home to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. Between Meridian, Mississippi, and Tuscaloosa, Alabama, the engine light started blinking. Shortly thereafter, the engine just shut down. We couldn’t imagine what had 146

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happened. The oil pressure was good. The engine wasn’t overheating. There were no signs of mechanical problems whatsoever. After coasting to a stop on the side of the freeway, I started the engine and continued on a few miles and it happened again. We coasted to a stop again, restarted the engine, and continued on. This same thing continued to happen every few miles until we got to Tuscaloosa. We stopped to refuel and then started on again. The problem persisted with the engine shutting down every couple of miles. I asked everyone to pray along with me that God would get us to Birmingham where our eight passengers had confirmed hotel reservations for the night. After we prayed, we had no more problems. The engine ran fi ne all the way to the hotel in Birmingham without a hitch. After we unloaded our passengers and started on to the shopping center, where Jan and planned to park for the night, the engine stopped again. We restarted it and went the few remaining blocks to our destination. The next morning we picked up our passengers and discussed what we needed to do. While we were discussing the matter, Jan was looking through our motor home information packet when she discovered a twenty-four-hour repair number for Freightliner motor homes. After calling the number and describing our situation, the technician said, “I think I can tell you how to fi x it yourselves.” He told us to open the plastic holding tank above the radiator and check what the coolant level was. He told us that there was a sensor in that tank that would shut the engine off if the level was below a certain point. That was the problem. We added coolant, started the engine, and continued our trip with no more difficulty. When we thought about what had happened, we realized that we had experienced something supernatural. There was no explainable reason why that engine continued to run all the way to Birmingham except by divine intervention. We had done nothing to alleviate the problem. The angel with the tool belt and grease under his fingernails had shown up yet again. God has miraculously provided for us time after time when it was impossible for us. He educated me supernaturally. He has delivered us 147

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time after time supernaturally. He has allowed us to buy houses when it was humanly impossible. He has fed us and clothed us supernaturally. “My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19). He does! You can trust Him. You can let all your weight down on him. Have you experienced any supernatural activity lately? Try walking with God! He will do what He said He would do. Pray constantly and watch for supernatural activity. Keep you spiritual eyes and ears open. You may find that many of the happenings in your life have been miracles and you didn’t even notice them. God’s supernatural activity was not reserved for the salvation experience. It goes with us always. It never ceases. If I were to ask you to relate to me a supernatural experience in your life, could you think of anything other than salvation? When people are asked to share their testimonies they nearly always relate their salvation experience. I’m not minimizing salvation at all. It is a miracle of miracles, but it is only the beginning of our relationship with God. When the supernatural experience of salvation happens, things change completely. We are privileged to walk and talk with God and experience supernatural activity all the days of our lives. Look around you and see it for yourself.

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Making Music

said earlier in the book that I always wanted to farm or ranch and make records. I got to farm for a while and lost my shirt, but that led me into the real estate business. God also allowed us to record several albums over the years of our ministry. (You can tell how far behind the times I am when I say that we made records. I know that it is all on CD or whatever the next thing may be.) In January 1976, we recorded our first album in Benson Sound Studios in Oklahoma City. We selected ten prerecorded sound tracts and added our vocals to them. We only had a four-hour session in the studio and had to finish within that time limit. We had never been in a studio and were very intimidated by the prospect. The night before we were to record, Jan had a sore throat and could hardly talk. We prayed, believing that God had opened the door for us to record. The next morning, we went to the studio prepared to record. Jan sang beautifully. We selected songs that were popular at the time: The King Is Coming, I Could Never Out-love the Lord, and the title song, If That Isn’t Love, along with several others. Some people love that album more than any other that we ever did. As I listen to it today, I realize that we were rank amateurs but we are proud of the effort. With a good producer, we would have done much better. I listen too critically so I hear every bobble, but it’s too late to change them. It was the summer of 1978 when we made our second album. This time, we decided to do the entire project from the ground up. We hired

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Charlie Brown to be our producer and arranger. Charlie was, and still is, one of the best-known songwriters, arrangers, and producers in the business. He wrote Part the Waters, Reach out and Touch, and others. He has recorded in studios all over the world, even with the London symphony. What really set him apart from others was that he had been a friend for years. He would probably tell you that his greatest accomplishment was working with us. (Ha!) Charlie wrote all the arrangements, hired studio musicians, and produced the sessions at Summit-Burnett Sound Studios in Dallas. We had never experienced the making of an album from the beginning. All we had was a selection of songs and he took it from there. The first session included the piano, guitar, bass, and drums—a basic rhythm section. We went into the studio and sang the songs on a “scratch track” while the musicians played. I had never seen anything like that in my life. Those musicians had never seen the arrangements, but they played as if they had practiced for weeks. I had never seen studio musicians before, so I did not realize they did this all the time. They are required to immediately play anything put in front of them. Recording sessions are very expensive and time is of the essence. If there was going to be any hold up, it would come from us and not them. These musicians were some of the best in the business. We selected the favorite songs of some of our family and friends and named the album By Special Request. It included my arrangement of Amazing Grace, Victory in Jesus, Until Then, and Without Him, along with several other selections. Charlie was very easy to work with in the studio. He was able to get the best from us without pressing us. He had the ability to tell you that you stunk without hurting your feelings. What a gift. He used more studio time on this project than we had on our first album. After the rhythm session, we brought in the string section. Charlie wrote and conducted the sessions each time. The tracks were great. We lived with them and practiced for several days so we could feel comfortable with them before doing the vocal session. We added background vocals for Sail On and then sang the master vocals. It took over three hours on that one song. That was the hardest work that 150

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either of us had ever done. Even working in a sawmill wasn’t as hard as that. Jan said, “I began to think I couldn’t sing at all.” By the time we finished that song, I wondered if I shouldn’t have stayed at the sawmill. Jan was pretty discouraged that day, but the next day we went back into the studio and finished in two four-hour sessions. Charlie supervised the final mix of the album, and then we sent the masters off to be duplicated. We spent a lot of time and money on the artwork and photography for the cover and album back. This made the project very expensive, but we were proud of the product when we finished. Our next recording project came in 1981. We needed a new album, so again we got in touch with Charlie. We recorded the tracks in several different sessions during the next few months. We used the same musicians again, but we recorded the tracts at Goodnight Studio and January Sound in Dallas. By the time we did our vocal session, we were very familiar with the tracks and were used to being in the studio. This made recording much easier on us. The pressure was on to be at our best, but it wasn’t like the first and second projects. We named the album Let Them Know after one of the songs on it. Some of the other selections were I’ll Fly Away, Precious Memories, Someone to Care, and It Wouldn’t Be Enough.

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I had always loved to entertain people with comedy routines, so I decided to make a comedy album of some of my jokes. In 1982 I recorded a comedy session in January Sound in Dallas. We did it with a live audience of our friends and relatives. We had a great time. The audience was very responsive, laughing at the proper time, even though some of them had heard some of the jokes before. I named the album Believe ’em or Not. I began doing a few comedy dates, and the sales of that album were good. We offered them along with our music at our concerts as well. For years we have heard reports of people who are still laughing at the country humor. A concert artist should release an album every year to eighteen months. We desperately needed a new album by 1983, but that was the year of our financial upheaval. There was no way we could consider a new album. The dilemma continued through 1984 and 1985. Since we depended strongly on record sales to help make ends meet, the lack of a new product was a real liability. Record sales are essential for the concert artist, and when repeat concerts are done in a particular venue, the lack of a new release hurts sales. As I sought a way to make a new album, God led me to an old friend, William Thompson. I told him of our dilemma and he loaned the money for us make a new recording. We struggled to pay the loan back, but we did it. We approached Charlie Brown again and began work on our new album: Together. When Jan and I were going through some of our toughest times, God sent a track of a wonderful song: Together. It became our favorite and our theme song. We sang it at every concert. Charlie did a new arrangement of the song for us. He also created an arrangement More than Wonderful for us. Both of these were recorded in Bill Gaither’s studio in Indiana. When we first heard the tracks, we loved them. We added some of our other favorite songs to complete the album. It was our best effort to date. The vocals were recorded at Rainbow Studios in Dallas. The equipment in that studio gave us a sound that we had never been able 152

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to get before. Even though that equipment is now antiquated, it was the best at the time. The addition of the new album enhanced our record sales dramatically and contributed greatly to our finances. By the spring of 1988, we found ourselves, once again, in dire need of a new album. We found out about Christian World Studios in Oklahoma City. They had a great selection of prerecorded tracks and offered more for the money than any other place. We decided to record using some of their tracks. A track album is much less expensive than doing custom tracks. We made our selections and set a date to do the vocals. We hired Charlie to come and produce. We had become accustomed to his face in the studio. We had recorded one album without him and we weren’t happy with the result. We were able to complete our vocals in two three-hour sessions. After a few hours of mixing, we had our master tape. We sent it off for duplication, and soon we had the finished album. We had presold enough albums to begin the project. Sales took care of the rest. We named the album after the title song: Turn Your Heart toward Home. Other songs on the album were O’ Glorious Love, Gentle Hands, Broken and Spilled Out, and People Need the Lord. We contacted former record buyers and they bought many of them right away. After writing Light in the Trees, I continued writing other tunes. I talked with the manager of Christian World Studios and found that I could record my own tunes in its studio using its musicians for a prearranged price. I decided to go for it. In February 1989, I went to the studio with my own music and began the process of doing a new album. We did the tracks in February but didn’t do our vocals until April. Presales of the new album paid for most of the project. We named the album Light in the Trees after the title song. As I mentioned earlier, I wrote this song while dealing with Ted’s leaving home. It was therapy for a broken heart. Ted would go to town in Pleasant Hill every night to have fun with his friends. I couldn’t sleep until he got home. When he drove up the long driveway, I could see the light from his pickup in the trees outside our bedroom window. He 153

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would always come into our bedroom and talk awhile before going to bed. I missed that terribly after he left home. As I wrote the song, I cried a lot. When we first sang it for Ted, we all cried a lot. It goes like this: When my son was just a youth and evening came around He would take his truck and drive each night to see the lights of town. He would stay awhile and have some fun then turn for home once more. I’d see his light in the trees that grow just outside my door. Oh I can’t see your light anymore. Now you’re gone and live your life your way. Oh for those days when I could see your light, just as before, In the trees that grow so tall outside my door. When we wander from God’s home to live our lives our way, We spend ourselves in mad pursuit of dreams in work and play. We get busy in our chase that takes us, oh, so far away Where we can’t see our Father’s face, and we can’t hear Him say: Please, won’t you hear His call once more? Come on home and live your life God’s way. Give Him your days so He can see your light, just as before, In the trees that grow so tall outside His door.

Every time we sang that song in concert, people would cry because they could relate to the situation. We sang it in one concert and a whole family got up and left. I asked the pastor of the church about it and he told me that they had recently lost a son in an accident. Imagine how it breaks God’s heart when His children wander away. We released one more album of original music in 1991 and named it Heart Songs. We called it that because someone remarked that I wrote songs that touched the heart. When we made our fi rst two albums, they were on LPs and eight tracks. The next five were on cassettes. Now we have remastered 154

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them all and put them on CDs. We are considering offering all these recordings on CD very soon. My comedy tape will be offered as well. All these recordings, along with the new project that I mentioned earlier, and this book will be offered as a fundraising project for The Manna Fund.

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Concerted Efforts

od used us in this ministry for many years. He took us to places and used us in ways we could not have imagined. What began in Waco and the surrounding area took us to thousands of venues all across the United States and into several foreign countries as well. We sang from Boston, Massachusetts, to Seattle, Washington, and from the border of Canada to the border of Mexico. We sang in churches mostly but also had opportunities to sing in state and national meetings. We did events in encampments, auditoriums, performance halls of all descriptions, civic centers, auditoriums, hotel banquet rooms, gymnasiums, and even in the mall under the Pentagon. We sang and spoke in colleges and universities of all sizes from the tiny Blue Mountain College in Mississippi to the massive University of Texas. We performed at Baylor, Hardin Simmons, Howard Payne, Wayland Baptist, East Texas Baptist, and SMU—all Christian schools in Texas. We sang and spoke at other Texas schools, such as Texas A&M, East Texas State, Sam Houston State, Stephen F. Austin, and some junior colleges as well. We performed at Mississippi College, Ole Miss, Auburn, University of Iowa, Oregon State, and Hannibal Lagrange College to mention a few. We performed on outside stages when the weather allowed. They were the hardest to provide good sound for. In Oregon we sang

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from a gazebo in a driving rainstorm. We got our speakers so wet in Rhode Island that we nearly ruined them. I was afraid we would get electrocuted, but God kept us safe. One of our most memorable experiences was when we sang in a drive-in movie in Colorado. That was wild! The audience listened to us on those little speakers that they put in their car windows. When we finished a song, they would honk their horns and flash their lights. I guess that was the same as applause. No one ever told us different. We even sang at a water park with people running around in their bathing trunks and bikinis. Where I grew up, that would have been highly unacceptable. Wherever we performed, we sang the same Christian music. We gave the same testimonies. We never left out any of it. We were late for performances only twice. One time we thought the service was as 7:00 p.m. when it really started at 6:00 p.m. Another time we forgot about a time-zone difference between a morning and an evening concert. We sang both events, but we set up our equipment while they were doing congregational singing. We never missed but one concert, but we made a valiant attempt even then. We went to the church and set up our equipment even though I had a stomach virus. I was throwing up in the bus before the concert but was determined to do it anyway. Just as the crowd was gathering, I ran up the aisle, out the door, and threw up on the grass in the churchyard. People were all around. I fi nally admitted that I couldn’t do it and we tore down our equipment and left. The pastor was very nice about it. They even took a love offering and sent it to us. Weather never stopped us. We traveled through snowstorms, sleet, hail, and thunderstorms. We got stuck in a snowstorm in St. Louis once and had to spend the night. We were in Peoria, Illinois, one Sunday morning and night. It started snowing that afternoon, but we went on to the church where we were to perform that night. We had a fairly decent crowd in spite of snow piling up outside. During the concert, the power went out. We didn’t know what to do except to continue. You couldn’t see your hand in front of your face. People began to stir around, getting out candles. It wasn’t supposed to be a candlelight service but 157

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it ended up that way. Jan’s mother Helen was with us on that trip. She begged all afternoon for us to stay overnight, but I refused. Jan fi nally told her that she might as well hush. I had made up my mind and there was no changing it. We made it home safely. One Sunday night after doing some concerts in northeast Louisiana, we were driving back to Memphis when we ran into one of the worst thunderstorms that we had ever been in. The wind was so strong you could hardly hold the van in the road and it was raining so hard you couldn’t see if you were even on the road. I normally don’t stop for weather because if you keep going you will eventually run out of it. I stopped that night, turned around in the middle of the road, and went back to a little country store that we had seen and pulled up right in front of it to get out of the wind. The owners of the store lived next door. They stepped out on the carport and yelled to ask us what we were doing. We told them we were waiting out the storm. They invited us into their house. We gratefully accepted the invitation and waited with them. After the storm blew through, we found a motel and spent the night before going on to Memphis. We were in a church in Van, Texas, one Sunday night. During the concert, the wind began to blow like everything. Ominous clouds were swirling around. Between songs, a deacon got up and announced that a tornado had been spotted in the area. He asked if the people wanted to continue or dismiss and get to a place of safety. They decided to continue, so we did. We gave them the whole load. We didn’t get blown away after all. A snowstorm delayed me in the airport at Richmond, Virginia, one time. After hours of deicing, the plane took off anyway with me on board. I made it to Atlanta safely but missed my connecting fl ight so I had to take a later one. On one occasion when we were flying our own airplane, we got stuck in Raleigh, North Carolina. When you are flying a private plane, you had better pay attention to the weather. There are lots of crashes caused by flying into bad weather. We got out the next day but had to land occasionally to let the ceiling lift enough to take off again. We finally made it home. 158

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The same thing happened in Beeville, Texas. We had to wait until Tuesday for the weather to get better. We finally took off but were forced down in Gonzales, Texas. We landed just in front of a terrible thunderstorm and finally got the plane tied down before it blew away. We had to rent a car and drive home. We sent a pilot back after the plane later that week. We got to experience a lot of unfamiliar situations in our concert ministry. We stayed in the Bronx, New York, for about a week. We stayed in a mission house where the sounds of the city were a departure from the quiet of the country, which we were used to. All hours of the day and night, it was a constant din of sirens, horns blasting, and the overall drone of traffic. One church that we sang in was right in the heart of the city. Guards had to be posted over the parking lots to keep people from breaking into cars. If a car stopped in one place for very long, it would literally be stripped. We saw one car that was doubleparked and had been stripped right in the middle of the street. In the Bronx, all the banks, post offices, and even fast food restaurants had bulletproof glass between the customers and employees. We experienced similar situations in Brooklyn and also in the inner city of Baltimore. For us, those places were almost like livingg on another planet. We stayed for a week in Manhattan as well as Hoboken, It was somewhat New Jersey. It was obvious to disconcerting to perform everyone that we weren’t from under those circumstances, around there. especially after I followed We got to sing in First Haitian a hula dancer. Baptist Church in Boston, Massachusetts, one Sunday morning. We had done an earlier concert in another church and arrived at the Haitian church after the service had started. We set up our equipment while the service was proceeding. When we were ready, they gave us all the time we needed and told us to go back to the pastor’s office. They continued the service for some time after we had finished. Since many members of the congregation didn’t speak English, the service was conducted in Creole. Even though many of the people 159

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didn’t understand us, they understood the Spirit as He spoke to their hearts. They gave a tremendous love offering for World Hunger. They bought more records than almost any place we had ever been. Haitians understand a great deal about hunger in Haiti from experience. Only days after the last big earthquake in San Francisco we got the opportunity to sing for volunteers who had been ministering to the devastated victims. They were physically and emotionally drained from their experiences and the things they had seen. It was a moving experience for us all. We were scheduled to go to Hawaii for several engagements. Jan didn’t want to fly that far, so I went by myself. After singing and speaking in several churches, I got to perform in a floating worship service on a tour boat. I had to stand straddle legged to keep from falling over while I sang. The waves were doing a number on us. That was an experience. People would run from one side of the boat to the other to see the dolphins. It was somewhat disconcerting to perform under those circumstances, especially after I followed a hula dancer. I drove all over the island taking pictures with a borrowed camera. When I got back to my hotel, I found that there was no fi lm in the camera. I didn’t get one single picture. I still have some of them in my mind, however. One weekend, Ken Medema was doing a concert tour with us in Texas. On Sunday night, we finished up at First Baptist Church in Woodway, a suburb of Waco. As we were driving to the concert, Jan was talking to Ken about how much she loved his song Lead the Way. She said, “I want to sing that tonight.” Ken said, “Oh, let me play it for you.” She said, “Okay.” While she was singing the song, accompanied by Ken, he started singing a descant in the background. Jan was totally surprised. She didn’t know he was going to do that. It was a supernatural moment. Jan was just carried along as she sang. At the last chorus, her emotions got the best of her. She broke down and was unable to finish. The congregation joined in and sang the last few phrases themselves. It was unbelievable. After the concert, Ken was astonished that they knew his music well enough to sing it. What a moment!

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Reflections on Renewal

e have lived a full and exciting life thus far. It has been quite a ride. What have we learned as a result of our experiences? In some of the subsequent chapters, I will try to share some conclusions that have come about by revelation of the Holy Spirit and personal experience. We have not come to these conclusions by speculation or assumption but by experiencing God fi rsthand. We have proven these conclusions over and over. If you don’t experience God, you can’t know Him. A transition began in my Christian life after the lay renewal of 1974. At that time, a desire was born within me to see the reality of God. I was no longer satisfied with a religion that had no power. I wanted to see God as He is. The transition has been very slow. It has come through the process of sanctification. It is ongoing and will not be completed until I see Jesus. He is making me into His image. That has been His plan all along. Christianity is not a religion; it is a relationship with the living God. Religion is based on discipline and performance. All religions are seeking God through their own efforts to keep a set of rules and live a disciplined lifestyle. It is impossible to reach God that way. Even the effort is a complete failure. “There is none righteous, no, not one: there is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone

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out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one” (Rom. 3:10–12 KJV). The only righteousness that anyone can have is that which has been imputed to them by Christ. It is His, not ours. If we could attain our own righteousness, then Christ died in vain. Redemption comes before morality, not the other way around. When you are redeemed, morality will follow. You can’t be supernaturally redeemed without being changed. Redemption will affect every aspect of your life. Salvation is not dependent upon Christ and our morality. It is in Christ alone that we receive salvation. That salvation can only be obtained by the Holy Spirit’s leading us to Christ. The invitation comes through Him alone. We come to Christ as slaves to sin, but He sets us free from the power of sin and gives us the right to become the children of God. We trade our fi lth and degradation for His righteousness. What a deal. For much of my life, I doubted my salvation. I don’t anymore. My doubts were based upon my poor performance. If any part of our salvation was based upon performance, we would all fall woefully short. I knew that I had no capability to earn salvation or redemption. That knowledge helped me to realize that salvation is by grace alone. When you realize that, your doubts will go away. Several years ago, I heard four shocking statements by James MaLife is not an audition honey, a writer and lecturer that have for God’s approval. helped me a great deal. Understanding began to dawn on me. When I started doubting, I would repeat them over and over. Maybe they will help you too. (1) Because of propitiation, I am deeply loved of God. (2) Because of justification, I am fully pleasing to God. (3) Because of reconciliation, I am totally accepted by God. (4) Because of regeneration, I am absolutely perfect like God.

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Imagine that I am loved by God, I am pleasing to God, I am accepted by God, and I am perfect like God. Bold statements, huh? I am all these things because of the grace of God. I don’t have to compete for grace. I don’t earn it with a disciplined lifestyle. It isn’t granted to me because of my great performance. My performance stunk and still does. I have the righteousness of Christ. It was imputed to me. I don’t have to jump through hoops and do a juggling act in order to get God’s attention. I don’t have to perform well for God to look my way. Life is not an audition for God’s approval. It is not like some great cosmic talent contest where we compete for a relationship with God, which includes His presence, His power, His blessings, and ultimately an all-expense paid trip to heaven. Salvation is by grace and that alone. “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life” (Titus 3:5–7 NKJV). Distortions of these age-old truths that have been perpetrated upon the church are dangerous and even deadly, because people can miss heaven by embracing them. Those who perpetrated and perpetuate these distortions are false prophets. Don’t listen to them. They will enslave you but the “truth shall make you free.” After I settled the issue of salvation by grace, which gave me a relationship with God through Jesus Christ, then I began to discipline myself out of gratitude. Because I have been supernaturally made new, I desire to do the things God wants me to do and not do the things that He doesn’t want me to do. A disciplined lifestyle came because I have been saved, not in order to be saved. My behavior still falls short, but I am forgiven when I confess my sin. He is always “faithful and just to forgive me my sin and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). In my early Christian life, I experienced a great deal of legalism. As if the Mosaic laws weren’t enough, we had to add some of our own. 163

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There was a rule for almost everything. Each denomination had its own set of rules. Some overlapped and some didn’t. We Baptists were as bad about that as any, and still are by the way. You could get dizzy trying to determine who had the best set of rules. Many people opted for the easiest. There is no use in enumerating these rules. They were well known. Some of them remain today. Some have fallen by the wayside and others have replaced them. They come and go according to the culture of the day. It seemed that the people who were considered to be the best Christians were those who followed those rules the best. I tried to be as good at it as I possibly could, but it was never good enough. I kept messing up. Just when I felt I had almost made it, I would fail again. It was one step forward and two steps back. I became afraid to take a step in any direction for fear that it was the wrong direction. When someone commits to do his dead-level best, it still isn’t enough. Our best won’t get us any closer to God. It just makes for more frustration. It is by grace alone that we are justified. “I do not set aside the grace of God; for if righteousness comes through the law, then Christ died in vain” (Gal. 2:21 NKJV). I do not belittle the grace of God. I do not make light of the grace of God. I do not underestimate or sell short the grace of God. His righteousness was imputed to me by His grace and not by good behavior—not even my rigorous discipline. It almost seemed that salvation came by grace through faith plus the ability to keep the laws of God and some of our own as well. How many people have been affected negatively by that kind of practice? We wouldn’t ever admit that we were legalists, but we surely practiced it. Many in the church still do. We Baptists said that we believed in eternal security, but we were always telling people that they would go to hell if they didn’t toe the line. The slightest infraction of these rules was a sure sign that we were lost. Since we couldn’t lose our salvation, almost any deviation from our rules was a sign that we never were saved in the first place. We still use that one a lot. 164

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Can you imagine how many people had problems with doubts? I was one. Every time an evangelist would come by and tell us something that led us to believe that we never had been saved, we would rush to the altar, repent, and be baptized again. I was baptized three times myself, and I was really trying to do good. Very few people made it through without several of those experiences. Some just gave up in frustration. To this day, some of them don’t know if they are saved or not. They can only hope so. I don’t have to hope so because I know so. Doubt is an absolute waste of time! “Let God be true, and every man a liar” (Rom. 3:4 KJV). Believe God, not man. Getting saved seemed like a palsied person trying to thread a needle. The needle kept moving. God finally settled the salvation issue for me once and for all. If God’s Word is true, and it is, then I was dependent upon the grace of God alone for my salvation. The Holy Spirit sought me out and convicted me of my sin. He showed me Jesus, the only true way to salvation. I received Him and He set me free once and for all. Hallelujah! He offers the same opportunity to any who would receive Him. We learned to equate salvation to walking down the aisle. Some believe that you can’t be saved without walking the aisle. The open, public invitation we offer is a good method that has been used effectively, but it should not be interpreted as the act of salvation. Salvation comes when a person receives Christ under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, no matter where that happens. If walking the aisle saved anybody, Christ died in vain. Walking down the aisle can be very effective as a method to unite with the church and to announce someone’s intention to be baptized, but it remains only a method. Some of our methods have been more canonized than the Scriptures. Any addition to or subtraction from the Scripture is dangerous and highly misleading.

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The State of the Church

any churches have become very institutionalized. They seem to be more interested in the institutional church than Christ who instituted the church. People are misled into believing that if they unite with a particular church they will be “Christians.” It doesn’t matter how you become a member just as long as you do. They can join the church. They can be baptized as infants in the church and they become lifelong members with no further action or interest whatsoever. You can ask members if they are a Christian and they will say, “I belong to such and such a church.” Does that qualify them for the kingdom? Not at all. Church membership is not synonymous with salvation. Baptists, Methodists, Episcopalians, Pentecostals, and other groups are not Christians, but Christians are Baptists, Methodists, Episcopalians, Pentecostals, and other groups. Now before you get angry and throw this book against the wall, think about what I have just said. We are Christians first, and then we are whatever denomination we have chosen. You can belong to any church and still not be a Christian. If you are a Christian, you should unite with one of these groups, but be sure it preaches the unadulterated Bible and not some watered-down philosophy. Don’t believe everything you hear. If it isn’t based on God’s truth, it isn’t truth. The institutional church seems to be primarily interested in its own existence. It seeks primarily to perpetuate itself and pay homage

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to itself instead of the living God. It seeks to evangelize people to become converts to itself by whatever means it deems necessary. More and more, heretical teachings are being embraced by its leadership and followers. A personal relationship with God is being preempted by corporate worship. Some feel that if they show up for corporate worship, they don’t have to bother with personal devotion and Bible study. Worship is primarily private. It can and will be corporate at times as well, but not exclusively. Many churches have become very worldly. They accept almost any kind of behavior. They stand for nothing and fall for anything. The church is to become separate from the world. The church is built by and upon Christ. It cannot be built by the world’s organizational practices and political prowess. Sadly too many people have a passion for the church of God but not for the God of the church. Many churches try to grow through projects, programs, the latest music, slick advertising, and all kinds of promotions. The real church of Jesus Christ can only be built by the power of God demonstrated through the Holy Spirit. Jesus says “Without Me you can do nothing” ( John 15:5). What part of “nothing” do they not understand? These churches have no power whatsoever. I don’t care how many they have in attendance, how big their budget is, or how nice their building is. We are the tabernacle of God. We are the dwelling place of God, not the church plant. The kingdom of God is within us. No measure that is used to gauge the success of a church can substitute for the measure of the true spiritual depth of its membership and staff. The true measure of a church is whether it is walking with God and experiencing Him and His power regularly. Many pastors motivate their people to greater service by guilt. It is one of the most powerful tools in their toolboxes. Real servants are motivated by love—the love of Christ and the love for Christ. “For the love of Christ constraineth us” (2 Cor. 5:14a KJV). We are led by God to join Him in work that He is already doing, not developing our own work for Him. God’s work cannot be controlled by man. God’s call is to individual Christians more than corporate entities. Many church leaders 167

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want to initiate, organize, and manage the work of the church. The work of the church is to equip the saints for the work of the Lord. The church of Jesus Christ is alive. It is exciting. It is powerful. It marches into the world by faith. Miracles will be everyday occurrences. The church will not be shy. It will be bold in its love and service. It will make a real difference in the world. It will not be overly wrapped up in its facilities. Those facilities will be burned up, but the work of the Spirit through Christians will never be burned up. I have grown very weary of religious activity. It amounts to nothing. It makes Christianity just like any other religion: works based. Religion has no power. It has no ability to change anyone. You can be as religious as you want to be and still be without Christ. Satan loves religion. He thrives on it. The world embraces religion but not Christianity. The world will never have a void of religion, but what kind of religion? Where there is an absence of truth, people will manufacture their own concepts of truth. Do you see any of that going on around you? Salvation is a supernatural phenomenon. When it occurs, people are changed completely. They have a desire to know God, be obedient to Him, and avoid sin. They are endued with God’s power to do greater things than even Christ did ( John 14:12–14). The Holy Spirit will be leading Christians “into all truth” (John 16:13). Christians are given the privilege and ability to communicate with God directly, any time of the day or night. They are no longer dependent upon their own power to abide by laws and rules. They are given the very nature of God. They have the “mind of Christ.” They are given the right to become the “sons of God” ( John 1:12). Wow! Imagine what would happen if Christians were to believe that what they believe is really real. Would they ever be the same again? Would the church ever be the same again? Would the world ever be the same again? It is easy to confuse our own hopes and dreams with God’s call. Don’t! You have read about what happened to me when I did that. Make sure of your call. Find out what God’s sovereign will is. What does He intend to perform? What is His agenda? Not yours. Let Him instill His plan in you instead of attempting to instill your plan in Him. 168

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Throughout my life, I struggled with God’s call. I have repeatedly written about the struggle between secular work and the call to “special service.” I have finally come to realize that all work can be special service. No follower of Christ does secular work. We all have a divine calling. Your call is not your work for God but His work in you and through you. You may do God’s work in the marketplace or pastor a church. It’s all God’s work. He will work through you wherever you are. Since we are all priests, there should be no separation between clergy and laity. Owen Cooper, whom I mentioned earlier, used to say, “Call me fellow laborer, yokefellow, or anything that you want to, but don’t call me a layman.” That term implies that you are a novice at Christianity. Where did these distinctions come from? They didn’t come from God. The only position that needs to be elevated is that of Christ. You cannot successfully live in this world without Christ. You may gain fame and even fortune, but you will still be unsuccessful. Solomon was the richest and most famous man in all the world and he came to the conclusion that it all meant nothing. The book of Ecclesiastes is full of frustration over everything that he had tried on earth, in vain. He discovered that “all is vanity.” If you aren’t sure that you have a relationship with Christ, why don’t you give Him a chance? There was a man in my hometown to whom my dad had witnessed for years. He still would not yield. One day, Daddy said, “I dare you to come to church Sunday morning and when the invitation is offered, I dare you to walk down the aisle. When you get to the altar, if God has not done anything for you, just shake my hand and go on back to your seat. I will never bother you again.” I will never forget that morning. The man was sitting on the back row. He sat through the whole service, and when the invitation was offered, he walked down the aisle and committed his life to Christ. He was saved, sealed, and faithful until the day he died. There was nothing magical about walking the aisle, as I have said before. It simply showed his willingness to give Christ a try. He was never sorry. He wasn’t saved by walking the aisle. He was saved when he finally gave his will over to God by accepting His invitation. Christ did the rest. 169

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I dare you to try God. The most successful thing that you will ever do is to yield your will to His and give Him a chance. You will be a winner for having done so. Elevate Him and He will put you where He designed for you to go. You can make that decision wherever you are, even as you read this book. The invitation has been offered to you specifically. If you feel a tugging at your heart, that’s the Holy Spirit speaking. As He leads you, simply repent of your sin and invite Christ to come into your heart and give you a new life. “That is you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved” (Rom. 10:9). When you make this decision, go to the pastor of a Bible-believing church and tell him what you have done and that you want to follow Christ in baptism. Something supernatural has happened in your life and changes will be evident. Follow the Holy Spirit’s leadership for the rest of your life.

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What If?

hat if God is serious about all His promises? Satan says He was only fooling. He told Adam and Eve that God really didn’t mean they would surely die if they disobeyed Him, but they did and so did everyone else since then. If you really believed that God meant that He would supply all your needs from “His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19), would it make a difference in your fi nancial situation? Would it make a difference in your career or your work schedule? Would it make a difference in your desire for things? Imagine Him being your source instead of you. What a relief that would be. If you really believed that God meant that if you gave then He would give more in return, do you think you would ever hesitate to give? “Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there might be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it” (Mal. 3:10 KJV). If you don’t trust God enough to tithe, then you won’t trust Him in anything else. You’re not fooling Him. “Give and it will be given to you: good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over will be put into your bosom. For with the same measure you use, it will be measured back to you” (Luke 6:38 NKJV). What kind of measure are you using? Would you like to try a new measure?

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If you really believed that God meant that He would never leave you nor forsake you (Heb. 13:5), would you constantly be begging Him to come to where you are? Modern songs are constantly begging God to come, visit us, and stay with us. They ask God to send the Holy Spirit to us in power. He already came and He has never left, and the only way that He comes is in power. If you know Christ, the Holy Spirit is in you and He will never leave. If you really believed that, would you ever think that He had forsaken you? God doesn’t come and go. He stays. You can’t go anywhere without His presence. “Where can I go from your Spirit? Or where can I flee from your presence?” (Ps. 139:7 NKJV). Read the remainder of that psalm. Pray for God to give you understanding of His Word. If you really believed that God meant that you were not to worry about anything but pray about everything and His peace would be constantly with you, do you think that you would worry and never fi nd peace? He doesn’t withhold His peace. “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be known unto God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:6 NKJV). That is the formula for peace. If you really believed that God meant it when He said that if you prayed in faith that He would give you whatever you asked for, would it make a difference in your prayer life? Would it make a difference in your faith? “And whatever things you shall ask in prayer, believing, you will receive it” (Matt. 21:22 NKJV). Our prayers should not be asking God to fulfi ll our desires. We should be seeking to fulfi ll His desires instead. If you really believed that God meant it when He said that whosoever will may come, would you have any doubt that meant you? Why should anyone feel excluded? “And it shall come to pass, that whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved” (Acts 2:21 KJV). Also see John 3:16 and Rev. 22:17. If you really believed that He would come in and dine with you and you with Him, would you ever come to the conclusion that God doesn’t commune with you? “Behold I stand at the door and knock. If 172

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anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him and dine with him, and he with me” (Rev. 3:20 NKJV). Would you be able to hear Him speak if you really believed that His “sheep hear his voice”? ( John 10:27). “My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” When the Holy Spirit came, we were given the ability to communicate with God in a way that was beyond any that had been given up until that time. The lines of communication with God were forever opened to anyone who will call upon Him. The Holy Spirit gives us direct access to God Himself. That privilege is just as real today as it was in the early church. Why don’t most people access God through the Spirit any more than they do? Unbelief? God will never say anything to us that is different from what the Bible says. That’s where false prophets come from. They are always getting a “new revelation” that doesn’t match Scripture. God’s will and His communication will always be consistent with Scripture. If you really believed “And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand” ( John 10:28 KJV), would you ever doubt your salvation? If He is able to save, is He able to keep? Absolutely! How would you like to have a salvation that you couldn’t count on when the going got rough? Satan is always asking you, “Did God really say?” (Gen. 3:1). He is trying to get you to doubt, and if you doubt you are not going to receive anything from God. “But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” ( James 1:6–8 NKJV). Who are you going to believe, Satan or God? Satan plants doubts, but God gives faith, and applied faith brings trust. You can know absolute assurance. What if God really means everything He said? What if all His promises are true? Would that make a difference in the way you live? It has made a huge difference to me. There is nothing that I desire more than to experience God as He is. I have, in part, but I want to experience more. I fail some. I worry some. I doubt some. But I am 173

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learning to trust. When you consistently place your faith in God and His promises, you begin to trust Him. He is trustworthy! What if a godly life was the only life that worked effectively? It is! What if the Christian life was practical? It is! We can throw conventional wisdom out the window and implement the truths of the Bible. They will give us whatever we need. Don’t qualify God’s Word; live it! Don’t question God’s Word; prove it for yourself! It will always prove out. You can hang your hat on it! You can hang your life on it! “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight” (Prov. 3:5–6 NIV). The King James Version says, “He will direct thy path.” I like that. How would you like for Him to direct your path? He will! I want my life to be a living laboratory in which the claims of the Bible are tested, tried, and proven to be true. That’s what Romans 12:1– 2 admonishes us to do. “I beseech ye therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable, to God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” Let your life prove the will of God to a world that has no center. Let your life radiate truth to a world that has no truth. Many Christians, even leaders, are satisfied to know about God, but few desire to know him. That is like having a mechanic who can tell you everything about a car. He knows every detail. He knows the reasons behind the details, but he has never taken the car out for a spin. He doesn’t know if it really will take him where he wants to go because he has never driven it. So it is with people who are satisfied to know about God instead of proving Him. God invites us to prove him. What if miracles regularly occurred in the lives of Christians? What if we were to share the miracles in our meetings that have occurred in each of our lives? What if we began to expect miracles? What if we expected prayers to be answered? What if we prayed in confident faith? Why not? That is what the Bible teaches. “But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God 174

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must believe that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him” (Heb. 11:6 NKJV). Many people, even Christians, have a tendency to be skeptical. Are you? They believe accepted science over the truth of God’s Word. They accept theory over Scripture. It’s fine for them to have a form of religion as long as they don’t get too serious about it. This is not make-believe. It is the real world … a world that God spoke into existence. Don’t you think He knows how it works? Don’t you realize that He gave all the resources that are needed to sustain life until the end of time? Do you think that what He made was inadequate? Many scientists believe that our natural resources are limited. If we ran out of resources, then God would not be able to “supply our need,” would He? How can anyone believe in a God who has unlimited resources and also believe that His creation doesn’t. You can’t have it both ways. Are you going to believe God or conventional wisdom? Conventional wisdom changes but God doesn’t. It wasn’t long ago when we were led to believe that the United States had to depend upon foreign oil because we didn’t have enough of our own. Now we find out that we have more natural gas than any place on earth. And with new drilling methods, we now have access to enough domestic oil to provide our needs for years, without any foreign oil whatsoever. The problem is that ecologists have enough political clout to deny us access to our own natural resources. Experts say we are destroying our planet. How can man destroy what God made? Do you really think that God would make something so fragile? It takes quite an ego to think that man can alter what God has planned and made. I love to go back to the country where I grew up. When I do so, I see that some of the old home places where people lived and farmed are hard to find anymore. You can’t even tell that there was ever anyone there, except for a few bricks or maybe some flowers that people planted. There are more trees in that area than there were one hundred years ago. God restores the earth. He replenishes the earth. Satan wants you to think that God’s creation is flawed. If he can get you to believe that, he can get you to believe anything else as well. 175

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He wants you to think that God is limited. He wants you to think that God is weak and inadequate. If you believe that, you will begin to look elsewhere for a god of your own making. Any god other than Jehovah is Satan. “Choose you this day whom you will serve.” As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord (Josh. 24:15). Do I really believe that God is sufficient in any situation? You betcha! Do I really believe that God is able to keep what I have committed unto Him? You betcha! Why? “I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day” (2 Tim. 1:12 KJV). I know Him! I experience Him every day like the old hymn In the Garden” says. And He walks with me, and He talks with Me, And He tells me I am His own. And the joy we share as we tarry there None other has ever known.

I feel His presence all over me even as I write these words. I stand on the truth of the chorus of the old hymn My Faith Has Found a Resting Place. I need no other argument, I need no other plea. It is enough that Jesus died and that He died for me.

It is finished! That’s enough! It’s real! I have the peace to prove it.

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Surrogate Gods

hat do you think the term surrogate gods means? I had never heard this term before, but it seems appropriate so I’m going to use it. I had been a surrogate god and had had surrogate gods before I knew what one was. Maybe you will fi nd out that you have been one or had one also when you find out what one is. If you haven’t been one, you have surely had many. A surrogate god means a substitute God. Have you ever substituted something for God? If so, that became your god. It might be material possessions. It might be pleasure. It might be friends or family. It might be church activity. It might even be you. Anything that you put ahead of God is your god. What are you more interested in than God? What have you substituted for private prayer, Bible study, and devotion to God? Anything that stands between a person and an intimate relationship with God becomes their god. “Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: thou shalt not bow down, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me” (Ex. 20:3–5). That means gods of any kind. God says that He is jealous and will not tolerate any exceptions. You can’t serve God and something else … anything else.

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Even churches can have surrogate gods. Buildings, programs, activities, finances, money, and even church attendance can become surrogate gods. Even pastors can be surrogate gods. I have seen people who almost worshiped a pastor. Does your church have surrogate gods? Think about it before you answer. You can become a surrogate god to other people. How? By standing between them and God. There is a fi ne line between serving people in the name of God and becoming a surrogate god. If God is trying to deal with someone through circumstances and you try to deflect those circumstances away from them, you are getting between them and God. God can and does use us to help people, but if you step over the line and try to become their provider and protector, they begin to look at you as such. They begin to depend upon you to the point that they leave God out of the equation. It is hard for God to deal with them because you are serving as a buffer. God may have to move you out of the way or let you suffer the same consequences that the person is suffering. There have been occasions when I attempted to help someone who was Changing your an addict to drugs or alcohol. Without circumstances will boundaries, that can become a nightmare. not change your It takes some tough love. You have to set some boundaries. People will take the heart, but changing path of least resistance. I have had this your heart will happen on many occasions. definitely change I have tried to provide employment your circumstances. for people who won’t work. It never works out the way you want it to. They begin to show up late, take off early, miss work, or be unproductive on the job. If you keep them on too long, they can ruin you. You have to use discretion. If an employee makes an employer money, he or she will always have a job. Are we offering a hand up or a hand out in our ministries? Ultimately, everyone is responsible for himself or herself. The best service that we can render is to assist growth. You cannot grow for someone else. If 178

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government aid worked that way, we wouldn’t have spent trillions of dollars and done no good at all. Recipients have become dependent upon government; taking away the incentive that would help to lift them out of poverty. Instead it has locked them into poverty. Has the government become a surrogate god to people? Government people have and still continue to try every day. The government is not the source of blessing. God is! The government’s coffers have reached its limit. God’s coffers never will. My old friend Carl Ryther, who is now gone to glory, used to tell us that we could never give anything to the people in the countries where WHRI was working. He had learned from many years in Bangladesh that if you did, they would become dependent upon you. They must do something to earn what was provided for them. He would give them the opportunity to work, no matter how simple the task, and would pay them in food or whatever else they needed. I know that seems harsh, but it is real. People need the Lord, not some poor imitation god. I have experienced this truth on many occasions. I have gone too far and have even enabled people to continue to practice the same behavior that caused their problem in the first place. If you try to be someone’s source, you can run out of resources. But God never will. You can actually restrict the blessings that God has intended for the people you are trying to help. Changing your circumstances will not change your heart, but changing your heart will definitely change your circumstances. We need to remember that when we attempt to change our own circumstances, or those of others, through our own devices and our own efforts, we only make things worse. Remember that God works through our circumstances. Any circumstance in our lives is more valuable to us than the resolution of that circumstance. When it is no longer valuable to us, God will resolve it. People need to struggle in order to grow. “In this world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” ( John 16:33 KJV). “And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience; 179

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and experience hope” (Rom. 5:3–4 KJV). Where there is no difficulty, there is no growth. Where there are no obstacles, there is no hope. In order for people to grow into mature and productive Christians, they are going to have to experience difficulties. You cannot create a hothouse for people. That creates an artificial environment for them instead of the environment that God has planned for them to grow in. One of the best examples of this is evidenced in my attempts to help my son Ted. Most of the time, I only got in the way. I tried to shield him and his family from the harsh realities of life. God finally confronted me about this issue. He reminded me that even though He used Jan and me to give Ted life, I could not sustain that life. Only God can and does that. Tell me, is that not trying to be a surrogate god? I am trying my best to avoid being a surrogate god to anyone else. In the process of sanctification (setting aside), God works the kinks out of people. Believe me: I have had a lot of kinks worked out and there will be more as long as I live in this world … and for you too. God polishes us through circumstances. He teaches us. He is working out His promises in us. He grows us up into Himself. He takes away the impurities with the refi ning fi re. He is making us into His image. For each of us, He has a unique plan that is greater than we can even imagine. We must let Him do His work in us as well as in others. Let go and let God. Being made into Christ’s image is not an easy process. God is not an old meanie who just likes to punish people and take away all their fun. He loves us and wants us to have abundant life. “I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly” ( John 10:10 KJV). Whatever happens to us Christians is for our good and His glory. “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose” (Rom. 8:28 KJV). You can’t avoid the sanctification process and you can’t help someone else avoid it either. God has no grandchildren. He only has children. Each person has to deal with God directly. You cannot be their surrogate. You cannot be their priest. Whether they respond or 180

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not is not your responsibility. You cannot make decisions for someone else. Ultimately, they answer directly to God. Should we use these truths to avoid helping anyone? Of course not! God is reconciling the world unto himself (2 Cor. 5:19). He has given us the ministry of reconciliation. God is at work and He has invited us to join him in it. He hasn’t invited us to do it for him. We can’t! Remember John 15:5? How much can we do without Him? Nothing! When God invites us to join Him, we need to stay in touch with Him so that we don’t take off on our own. He doesn’t give assignments and leave us to do it on our own. He works with us and through us. We have to be so sensitive to Him that we know when to get up and whoa. We need to know when to gee and haw. We need to know every turn that He makes. Will He communicate those kinds of details to us? Absolutely! He may not be in a hurry, but His timing is perfect. Some assignments may be lifetime assignments. Have you ever been a surrogate god to people? To your children? To other relatives? To employees? To friends? I have been a surrogate god to people in all the categories that I mention. Take some time to reevaluate your life and see if you are doing so even now. If you are, it would be wise to change the way you deal with those people. Ask God to help you avoid doing so in the future. Be sensitive to the work that He is performing in your life and the lives of others as well.

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Christ in Me

t is really none of my business what God chooses to do with me, through me, or in me. That sounds like a bold statement, doesn’t it? When you hide your life in Christ, you have no legal claim on it anymore. You can’t usurp God’s power over you. Oswald Chambers, in his book My Utmost for His Highest, says, “When once we realize that through the salvation of Jesus Christ we are made perfectly fit for God, we shall understand why Jesus Christ is so ruthless in His demands. He demands absolute rectitude from His servants, because He has put in them the very nature of God.” “What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Cor. 6:19–20 KJV). I gave my life to Christ. I have no claim on it any longer. I have taken my hands off my life. I have found out that He can take me anywhere and do anything, as long as I give Him full control and willingly go where He leads. Does it sound unfair to be asked to give up all control of your own life? When you walk with Jesus, that is what you must do. I’d rather have Him be in control of my life than me. I’ve tried to control my own life, and you can see the result from my roller-coaster testimony. God can and has done so much more with me than I could ever hope to do with myself. Left to my own devices, I would be helpless and hopeless,

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and so would you. If you haven’t hidden your life in Christ, you are helpless and hopeless. You just don’t know it yet. “I am crucified with Christ, nevertheless I live—yet not I but Christ liveth in me. And the life that I now live, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Gal. 2:20 KJV). Notice how this verse says that we live by the faith of the Son of God. What does that mean? To me, it means that I live by faith in the faith of the Son of God. Does Christ have faith? How much faith? Infinite faith. If I have faith in His faith, then my faith grows exponentially. Christ is the object of my faith. My faith, though small, is in the faith of Christ, which is measureless and strong. We belong to a supernatural God. You can’t walk with a supernatural God in a natural way. If you are walking with God, you will see miracles and supernatural happenings. You can’t avoid them because they are everywhere. You will see the impossible done in and through you. Sarah Young, in her devotional book Jesus Calling, says, “When you depend on Me ( Jesus) continually, your whole perspective changes. You see miracles happening all around, while others see only natural occurrences and coincidences.” Are you seeing miracles? Are you seeing God do the impossible in you? Are you walking with God? I feel much like the flea who was riding on an elephant who was effortlessly pushing over trees in the forest. The trees were no match for the elephant. After seeing what was happening, the flea remarked to another flea, “Boy! Did you see what we just did?” That’s the way it is when we are walking with God. It is not possible to walk with a loving God and know no love, because love will surround you. It is not possible to walk with an omnipotent God and see no power, because power is all around Him. I told you earlier what God is doing in my business, The Manna Fund and World Hunger Relief. Now I will tell you the secret behind it all. If you are amazed, I can only point you to God. What He’s done for me, He will do for others. I recognize that what God is doing in me is impossible for me. It is way beyond me. It is as unlikely as walking on water; nevertheless I do it. Yet not I, but Christ does it in me. Every step is an impossible one, 183

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yet I do it anyway. If I were to take my eyes off Him, I would sink, just like Peter. Walking on water ain’t no big deal when you keep your eyes on Jesus. Even writing this book is impossible for me, but I do it anyway—yet not I but Christ who does it through me. I tried all my life to do something for God but was never successful. When I let Him do something in me and then through me, things changed. When I began to abide in Him, He began to move in ways that I never could. He took me to places I would have never been able to go. He gave me opportunities that I would have never had. He is my source, my course, and my force. He is my banker, my accountant, and my manager. He is in charge of acquisitions and sales. He is the chairman of the board. He opens and closes all the doors that I walk through. He keeps the dream alive. He has faith in the process. Why would I not have faith in His faith? He protects me from the evil one. He fights my battles for me. He overcomes all obstacles. He deals with all circumstances. He is in complete control of everything that happens to me and He purposes everything for my good and His glory. Why would I ever want to take control of a process like that? I couldn’t make it for even a moment. That would be like turning the controls of a 747 airplane over to a two-year-old child. I move at His command. He doesn’t move at mine. I am trying to have no agenda of my own but seek only His agenda, which He only reveals to me as we go. I try to do every day what He tells me to do. He has provided my team to carry out His edicts. He has surrounded me with the absolute best person in every position. When the need arises for additional team members, He will bring them. For me to take credit for any of this would be preposterous. You see what happened when I was in charge. I found that to realize God’s purpose in your life, you have to assume a lot. When God gives you a vision, assume that He is going to fulfi ll that vision. Assume that He intends to finish the good work of the divine call He placed within you. Assume that He really meant every word that He spoke in the Scripture. You can rely on every promise. You have to have some gall to accomplish God’s purpose for you. 184

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Ask God for anything that you need, and watch for supernatural activity. Don’t ever assume that any door is closed or any situation is impossible. With God there are no impossibilities. I have seen Him come through in ways that would seem impossible to man. I have walked through doors and taken advantage of opportunities that would have been closed if I had not had gall enough to ask. Every time I deviate from His plan, I get in trouble. I will abide in Him and I will have faith in His faith that He will abide in me. Whom shall I fear? Of whom shall I be afraid? Praise the Lord, Oh my soul; all my inmost being, praise His Holy Name. Praise the Lord, Oh my soul, and forget not all His benefits— Who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, Who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagles (Ps. 103:1–5).

How would you like to be in a relationship with a God who does that? You can. Give up and let Jesus take over. God will use you in a way that is way beyond your ability to conceive or believe.

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It’s Complicated

ife is what happens when the sovereignty of God meets the free will of man. That makes life complicated. On the one hand, you have the sovereign will of God, and on the other hand you have the free moral choice of man. Without that God-given choice, men would be puppets. Puppets can’t love. They can’t respond in any emotional way at all. The very nature of God wants men and women to obey Him. He wants them to abide in Him and Him in them. The very sin nature of man leads him to fight constant battles with himself. On one hand, he wants to do right but he constantly does wrong. What’s new about that? Even Paul the apostle had the same problem. “For I know that in me dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do” (Rom. 7:18–19 KJV). We all understand that plight, don’t we? In Oswald Chamber’s book My Utmost for His Highest, he says, “We have to maintain our soul open to the fact of God’s creative purpose, and not muddle it with our own intentions. If we do, God will have to crush our intentions on one side however much it may hurt.” Our will must never take precedence over His will, no matter what the circumstances are. We can either break our own wills or be willing to let Him do it. Our wills must be broken because they always lead us to disaster.

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God made the perfect environment before He made man and woman. He had a perfect relationship with them. He only gave them one commandment, and that was to not eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Upon Satan’s temptation, Eve ate of it and gave it to Adam and he ate too. Ever since they did so, life has been a battle between man’s will and God’s will. God has a perfect plan for us, and yet we devise our own plan, which is clearly inferior. As you can see from my experiences, I have wavered between these two wills: God and mine. I have found when I did God’s will, He granted me success, but when I did my own will I got into trouble. These experiences have created within me a deep desire to not deviate from God’s plan. The best thing to do is trust God explicitly and simply do the next thing. My favorite movie is Forrest Gump. Forrest was simple minded but he always did the next thing, whatever it was. The result was that he excelled at everything that he did. Life was simple for him. It would be a lot simpler for us if we would simply take advantage of the next opportunity that God gave us. It would save a lot of wear and tear. I relate to Forrest when he was sharing his experience of running for over three years back and forth across the country. He said, “When I got hungry, I ate. When I got sleepy, I slept. When I had to go do youknow-what, I went.” He ran because he had compunction to do so. He simply did the next thing. For most of my life, I tried to take some self-help techniques and merge them with the leadership of God. It never worked. We must abandon our will to God’s and do the next thing. We don’t need to be setting goals and attempting to reach them, because they will usually take you out of the way that God has designed for you. If you are out of His will, your continued effort to raise yourself will only end in frustration. Even if it helps you to make more money, you fi nd that it is meaningless. God did not put us in this world to lift ourselves by our own bootstraps. He called us to know Him and follow Him wherever He goes. Ravi Zacharias said in his book The Grand Weaver, “The purpose of prayer and God’s call in your life is not to make you number one in 187

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the world’s eyes, but to make Him number one in your life.” We need only to seek to lift Him up. He will lift us up if He chooses. If not, that’s all right too. God, in His sovereign will, gives us desires to do certain things. After we confirm that desire as coming from Him, the next thing is to simply do it, no matter what it is. No matter how impossible it seems, no matter what the obstacles are, no matter what people think, do it anyway. No one ever wins in a fight against God. He is always right. As I have said many times, “God’s way is not the best way, it is the only way.” For those who will obey God’s will, He makes incredible promises that He is bound by His very nature to keep. God cannot lie! Incredible forces will be set into motion to assist you. Supernatural power is unleashed. Angels will minister to you. The greatest thing of all is that you will hear God say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” Won’t that be incredible? “If any man will come after Me, let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me” (Matt. 16:24). Oswald Chambers, in his book My Utmost for His Highest, says, The surrender here is of my self to Jesus, my self with His rest at the heart of it. “If you would be My disciple, give your right to yourself to Me.” Then the remainder of the life is nothing but the manifestation of this surrender. When once the surrender has taken place we never need “suppose” anything. We do not need to care what our circumstances are, Jesus is amply sufficient.

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose. For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the fi rstborn among many brethren” (Rom. 8:28–29 KJV). Everything that God predestined, He fi rst foreknew. He calls all people to salvation but He, in His omniscience, knows who will and won’t respond to that call. To those whom He foreknows, He calls. He could just have let your free will determine 188

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who would be saved and who wouldn’t. He could have just predestined indiscriminately those He wanted to save. These verses clearly show how His divine foreknowledge and His sovereignty meet with the free will of man. God’s clear invitation to a person who is led by the Spirit to come to Christ, joined with the acceptance of that invitation by the will of the invitee, always results in salvation. “Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified” (Rom. 8:30 KJV ). Do you see the progression here? He foreknew. He predestined. He called. He justified. He glorified. If you were predestined according to His foreknowledge, then you were not only justified and glorified but you were called. If you are justified, you are called according to God’s perfect will. He has given you the exact DNA, circumstances, experiences, and opportunities that are necessary for you to fulfi ll His purpose for you. Don’t despise any of these things. They were designed specifically for you. Does that make you feel special? It does me. Had I known some of these things when I was younger, life might have been different. But I couldn’t know these things earlier. I wasn’t ready to know them yet. I had to follow the circuitous route that I have followed in order to have this knowledge revealed to me by the Spirit. I had to learn them experientially. Some people say that if you walk with Jesus you will be shielded from problems. That is not true. Even Jesus had His time in the desert. He was tempted in every way that we are, yet without sin. He ended up going to the cross. Suffering is a part of life on this earth. There are tribulations for all of us. No one escapes. “Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world” ( John 16:33). He gives us peace in the midst of the storm.

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Don’t Be Afraid of the Off Ramp!

nd as it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many. To those who eagerly wait for Him He will appear a second time, apart from sin, for salvation” (Heb. 9:27–28 NKJV). Any freeway has an on ramp and an off ramp. There is a time to get on the freeway and a time to get off. Life is like that. “To everything there is a season, a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die”

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(Eccl. 3:1–2a KJV). You cannot hide from it. You cannot run from it. It is a reality. How do you handle that reality? Every person is appointed to death. It is as natural as being born. For every life, there is a beginning and an end. There was a time when that thought really scared me. I didn’t want to think of death at all. I would lie awake at night worrying about the eventual death of my mother and dad, my brothers and extended family. Now I am an old man. I have lost most of my family and many of my friends. Without exception, that time came for every one of them. I don’t fear my own death any longer because I know it is inevitable. It is none of my business when God chooses to call me home. I do not name the date or the circumstances of my death. I cannot add one day to the lifespan that God has chosen for me. That is totally in His realm. I have nothing to say about it, and that’s completely fine with me. I don’t feel out of control because I was never in my control but in His. What a great place to be. I can only control where I choose for my body to be buried, and that is Marthaville. Jan or Ted could change even that, but I’m sure they won’t. The main reason I don’t fear death is because of a promise made by God Himself. I embrace that promise. I received His Promised One many years ago. Now I eagerly wait for Him to appear a second time. If He comes first, I won’t suffer death, but if He tarries, I will die. Either way, I will still see him, apart from sin, and greet that fi nal salvation. I will be like Him. “Beloved, now we are the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when He shall appear, we shall be like Him; for we shall see Him as He is” (1 John 3:2 KJV). Why should I fear that great homecoming? My salvation will finally be complete. I will see all those who died before me, and I will rejoice with them forever. There will be a banquet table set before me unlike any that I ever have seen. We will surround the throne of God. We will rest in the arms of Jesus. We will be complete—lacking nothing. The last verse of old song When We All Get to Heaven describes the picture.

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Onward to the prize before us! Soon His beauty we’ll behold; Soon the pearly gates will open; We shall tread the streets of gold. When we all get to heaven, What a day of rejoicing that will be! When we all see Jesus, We’ll sing and shout the victory!

If you know Christ you don’t have to fear death. “ H e n c e f o r t h there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the Righteous Judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love His appearing” (2 Tim. 4:8 KJV). God’s promise wasn’t for me only but to “all who love His appearing.” Are you looking forward to that day? If you fear death, you should ask yourself, “Why?” Are you sure of your destination? Every person is going to spend eternity somewhere— heaven or hell. There are no other alternatives. The Bible clearly teaches us that we can know where we are going when we die. If you settle that issue, then fear should diminish. It’s natural to be somewhat apprehensive about the unknown. Since we don’t know exactly what heaven is going to be like, it is normal to have some apprehension, but terror should not be a part of a Christian’s life. You know how it is when you are going someplace where you have never been. The anticipation is exhilarating, but there remains a nagging fear of the unfamiliar. You try to imagine what it is going to be like, and that always causes some discomfort. That is what it is like to approach death. You can’t see beyond the grave except through faith. Let that faith sustain you. If you aren’t sure of your salvation, then you need to consider the risk of remaining in that state. If you wake up and find yourself in hell, it isn’t God’s fault. He gave His Son to rescue you from even the slightest possibility of that eventuality. Jesus died to purchase your salvation and to give you His righteousness. You have to totally ignore Christ in order to go to hell. He sent the Holy Spirit to offer you an 192

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invitation to the party. The RSVP is your responsibility. He will not force you to come. After you accept His invitation, you can stand before God with absolute assurance of that salvation. Why haven’t you availed yourself of that assurance? Is it your ignorance of the truth? Is it some false hope of another alternative that you are holding on to? Do you hope to wait until later on in life? Any of these excuses won’t be valid if your assigned time of departure comes before you settle the issue. You don’t have to go out into eternity without Christ. Don’t! People will buy insurance to protect themselves against all kinds of risks but will ignore the greatest risk they will ever face. The risk isn’t worth it. There is but one way to ensure yourself after death, and that is faith in Jesus Christ. “Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me’” ( John 14:6 NKJV). Jesus said it, and that settles it. There is no other valid argument. No philosophy, theology, or premise can change the fact that the God of the universe has spoken on this issue. The ball is in your court. What are you going to do with it? Jesus is coming soon, but your death may be coming even sooner. “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar; the elements will be destroyed by fire, and the earth and everything in it will be laid bare” (2 Peter 3:8–10 NIV). What is meant by “everyone”? Does that include you? There is no doubt that you were included. You don’t have to struggle with questions of tomorrow. You don’t have to live your life in fear of death or the second coming. If you are in Christ, it won’t matter which comes first. You are ready either way.

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would like to report to you that I now understand all that has happened to us, but I can’t. I still have unanswered questions, but not so many as I had while we were going through the fire. Without these hard times, I would never have learned to trust God as much as I do now. They were essential to my learning process. I can’t understand all these things because I don’t have the vantage point of God. I know that when I see Jesus, I will understand fully, but I’m not sure it will even matter to me then. If I had not been able to turn the results over to God, I would have lost my mind. It was especially difficult for me because I am an excessive-compulsive preacher’s kid who has always tried to fi x everyone’s problems. I take after my mother. She always tried to be a peacemaker. She could have been a good secretary of state. She could have negotiated peace in the Middle East within a month. I learned that there are things that I have to entrust to God. They are out of my control but not out of His. I do not fully understand all the implications of our struggle. Many times we never knew where our next meal was coming from. It always came. God gently provided for us while still letting me make mistakes. Life lessons are not learned easily and quickly. They take time. I have learned that God shapes us through the experiences of our lives. Those experiences were designed to build us up, not tear us down. Things grow better in the valley than they do on the mountain. It takes some fertilizer for us to grow. Even though I do not understand it all, I do know with assurance that there is a divine destiny in all this

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and that God knows exactly what He is doing. Have you ever been in the valley? Just wait. You will be. Walking in the valley is a lot easier when you know that God is with you. When you realize that there is a purpose that is working for your good, it’s easier to hold on until morning comes. Trust is the operative word. I would never have learned to trust if it hadn’t been for the valleys. The Twenty-Third Psalm is particularly helpful during the long night of the soul. I recently read an elaborated version of this passage, which is applicable here. The author is unknown. The Lord is my shepherd—that’s relationship! I shall not be in want—that’s supply! He makes me lie down in green pastures—that’s rest! He leads me beside quiet waters—that’s refreshment! He restores my soul—that’s healing! He guides me in the paths of righteousness—that’s guidance! For His name’s sake—that’s purpose! Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death—that’s testing! I will fear no evil—that’s protection! For you are with me—-that’s faithfulness! Your rod and the staff, they comfort me—that’s discipline! You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies—that’s hope! You anoint my head with oil—that’s consecration! My cup overflows—that’s abundance! Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life—that’s blessing! And I will dwell in the house of the Lord—that’s security! Forever—that’s eternity!

In order for us to get to where God is taking us, we have to go through the valley. It’s the only route. The less cooperative we are, the longer it takes. Isn’t that what happened with the children of Israel? They wouldn’t have had to stay in the desert for forty years if they had obeyed God and taken the Promised Land when He told them to. Through it all, I have learned that righteous living pays dividends. 196

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It pays to stick with the stuff. The book of Proverbs is full of these promises. It really works. Don’t get discouraged. “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not” (Gal. 6:9 KJV). “Jesus replied, ‘No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God’” (Luke 9:62 NIV). Many times I have felt like quitting, but God would not let me. He urges me, “Keep plowing, because I have planned a harvest.” My encouragement to you is to rest in Him and keep plowing no matter how large the field and no matter how many roots are in the path to trip you up. Keep plowing! God has planned a harvest. We never grow too old to be of use to God. We never grow too tired or disabled. God will use us every day of our lives. No matter what our circumstances are, we are called to show them Jesus. Several years ago I wrote a song that will express what I am trying to say. Show Them Jesus When their lives are full of pain, show them Jesus. When they murmur and complain, show them Jesus. When they curse Him and reject, and they show Him no respect, Let His light from you reflect. Show them Jesus. When you see their wicked ways, show them Jesus. When their lives are in decay, show them Jesus. When they think their hope is gone and they always feel alone, When they lie awake till dawn, Show them Jesus. When you see the “least of these,” show them Jesus. As their sorrows increase, show them Jesus. When the world from them withholds all its silver and its gold, When they’re weak and growing old, Show them Jesus. 197

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Chorus Show them Jesus, Show them Jesus. He can change their lives and make them whole again. He can free their lives from sin, and can make them pure within. Let’s obey His will and then— Show them Jesus.

How do you do that? “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matt. 5:16 KJV). Let Him shine through you. Take advantage of every opportunity that God gives to share Christ with people. Make it a lifestyle, more than something that you do. I find opportunities everywhere. I have had them on the side of the road, at home, at work, in the pasture, at the restaurant, in the store, or wherever I go. The Holy Spirit just gives me these divine appointments. One day, I was driving back from Pleasant Hill, my hometown, when I stopped at a remote civil war cemetery about three miles north of town. I hadn’t been there in years so I decided I would walk around and look at some of the graves. While I was exploring, a truck with Texas license plates drove up and a man got out. Seldom does anyone go by that cemetery. What were the chances that someone would do so at that exact time? We got to talking, and I got to share my faith with him. We talked for a while and I gave him a devotional book by Sarah Young entitled, Jesus Calling. He thanked me for it and I drove on. I don’t know what the result of that encounter was and may never know. It doesn’t matter. I was obedient to make the most of the heavenly appointment that I know that to be. The Holy Spirit will use that any way that He wants to. Don’t be afraid. God will empower you in your witness. You may feel that you don’t know enough about the Bible to share. You do know what Christ has done for you. Share that. People can’t argue with that kind of witness. As you walk with the Lord, He will give you a story to tell and opportunities to tell it. Fear is from Satan, not from God. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (Tim. 1:7 KJV). 198

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You can’t lose. You aren’t responsible for whether people respond to your witness. You don’t have to persuade them. That’s the work of the Holy Spirit. He leads people into truth. You don’t. Your witness will be absolutely unique. It is based upon a different set of circumstances and experiences than anybody else. God sends just the right witness to just the right person at just the right time. They all play a part. God uses them. Don’t ever deny yourself the blessing of being a part of the enterprise of God, which is the greatest enterprise in history—that of reconciling the world unto Himself. Wow! What a privilege.

Persist until Jesus comes. In the country vernacular,

Keep plowing! Care to share what this book has meant to you? Email the author at [email protected]

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