Reflective Essay (1,000-1500 words) MYSELF AND I

Past The first time to study and approached the design school, i still can remember that i have no interesting at all in graphic design when i still in semester one. ​Anyhow i was excited that i realized that graphic design is my  passion which will bring fun for me, at the same time I was really stressed out and emptiness that i couldn’t do it  nicely. Luckily, I found my self falling in love with drawing which lead me to gain a lot of knowledge, inspiration,  happiness and found my diversion ​After this condition, i realized that i’ve to hardworking, set a goal and try my best to achieve it till i get the good result at the end. It was a big challenge that i put a lot of afford, a lot of passion, a lot of pain, a lot of failure and pay attention to pursue a dream to satisfy myself and get a good result in studies. Basically, i have half year working experience. I’ve looking for a job after complete my diploma session. During the moment, the first job i’ve worked at printing company which is a terrible company and bring a lot of bad memories to me. It was a terrible day that i keep doing my job and complete all the work that manager ask us to finish it. I was so panic to rushing my work and the client suddenly come in to ask me to print out the work. As though expecting things to turn wrong, i did something wrong to print out the client’s work. My colleague help me to hide this matter and print it again to client, it’s a bad lesson that i experience and scold by the manger. This is not my first time to make this failure, the first time i scold by colleague and misunderstanding what he needs. He scold me with face to face and i received another scolding for being misunderstand. The colleague gave me a terrific scolding, but i was in no mood to argue. I just wanted to complete the work. After this condition, So i tossed and turned which made me fearful. It was so high pressure the people that make me stressful to work over there and it cause i often make mistake. In second month i started lost interest and waited impatiently to work till three month and make decision to quit this job. There are office politic is a heavy issue happened in the company. The staff who always look down me and never give me a chance to change. In the case of a competitive company, be a good guys will always look down and ignore by someone. This is a reason at the end that i consider and make decision to quit this company. After two week, i prepare myself and try to sent the email and request a job through internet. There’re someone call me to ask me for interview, after the interview i get enrolled from the company. The company which is has bad environment, bad facilities and two bad leader, i have no idea why i will be there worked around three month. I​ made a few friends who was so friendly and youthful. Also,​ I do expect to work there as long as possible. As  for myself, the moment i felt depression, helpless and loneliness. I have discovered that if i give up my wants,  hopes, expectations and looking forward to things as much as possible. Unfortunately, the facts always is  cruelty. It’s been a long time that my family encourage me to further study and get the degree of studies in  university. One of most courageous decision i did for request study in taylor’s university. Finally, i receive the  request notice from this university.    Present  As i grew up as i started realized that except experience, knowledge is quite important to a designer which can improve our communication skills, technical skills and improve clarity of thought. I took the opportunity to keep study in graphic design with my previous design knowledge. ​My hometown in Negeri Sembilan, it’s a old village  that my parent over there. I have four sister, I am youngest of siblings. Currently I am twenty-two year old boy  who lives in a condominium with my sister in a city called kuchai lama. ​You might think it's easy being the  youngest but trust me it's not.​ Being the youngest and only men has left me to be independent. I always feel like  i don't need help and cope with my own problems myself. I was passionate to look forward art and design  which made me feel satisfaction and living with dream. As a men, i​ am types of people who have wild ambition to achieve the goal. I believe that it always lonely when you decide to start toward success road. As for myself, the moment i felt depression, helpless and loneliness. I have discovered that if i give up my wants,  hopes, expectations and looking forward to things as much as possible. But i didn’t give up because of this  status. Sometimes, I was confusing to make decision and afraid to choose a wrong way. ​The real issue is that I 

have an overall ​fear​ of making the “​wrong​” decisions in my life​.​ ​In fact, I felt anxious to complete every design  assignment. depressed. I was afraid that I couldn’t do as well as good. With my little thought, I attempt to turn  loneliness into motivation for self comfort. ​ I learn from frustrating experiences that things often happen according to how i want it. It help me to reduce or avoid more frustrations wherever i am. The end of the holidays approaches. It is a mixture of gladness and sadness i feel as the beginning of another school term nears. I got to do most of the things i had planned to do, like hiking, jogging, watch video at home, visiting friends and workout. It is important for us to keep fit so that i am not burdened by weakness and disease, it also make me felt confidently as well. I started to keep fit by bodybuilding and play calisthenics. All of these builds up my stamina thus enabling to enhance my work performance while in class. All of us know how design students so busy and have no enough sleep to finish the assignment. It cause i have no more time to keep workout every week. Now i am being so lazy and impatience to complete my assignment within dateline.The main disadvantage that i can realized that we have no enough time to relax and enjoy myself. Being a students is fun, there is no doubt about it. However, i rather to complete my education and get a full time by the way. At least i don’t have to consider too much on making satisfactory progress toward a degree. Overall I don’t have to motivate and push myself to come out the idea to finish my studies with upset. So i wonder i have to rush my assignment before the dateline. I just work hard and try to complete my assignment at home even during weekend. As far as i concerned, i find that hardworking is necessary for me. I shall give some reason. I find the way to pay attention in class when lecturer is teaching. the number of assignment cut short had increased and continues to rise. The sound come my inner world ‘I cannot tahan anymore’. Future As you can see, i have a major of fear of failure, and i won’t let it go with me. I have a specific goal and always appear in my mind. I love to learn new ideas and i have bright plans for my future​. S ​ ome weekends i did go anywhere. I just stay at home and doing my work. I try to develop my technical skill and thought and explore more on design how inspiration. University is my first step to achieve my dream. I would find the right direction, focus the efforts, use my time and resources productively and increase the chance of achieving what i want in life. And then, i would not hesitate seeing myself pursuing a career in advertising company which is make me joyful to involve myself to work, i believe that i can learn a lot of experience, knowledge during the company. What I look forward a chance to work in a good company which is high- growth companies and provide fundamental benefit of space exploration.​ I​ hope i can led a hand in finding new, more effective ways to create many design for client. Wish to see my design work around the world, i planned to start my own design business after i get more experience from full time work. ​I have a dream which is become a famous designer and make a lot of money, immigrants from asia to australia and live with my family. After few year, I expect myself to be perfect and involved to investment to make more assets. Hopefully by the time i get a big house, i’ll have a wife and can start a family. Anyhow i feel better now after having some idea of what i can do in future.