PFLAG

A JOINT PUBLICATION OF THE AKRON AND CLEVELAND CHAPTERS

OCTOBER 2013

this issue

New PFLAG Medina chapter Local residents are hoping to form a PFLAG chapter in Medina. The first meeting is planned for Monday, Oct. 28 at 7:00 p.m. at Unity (Church), 787 Lafayette Rd. This is in the group of conference centers at Williams on the Lake. Unity meets in the rear of the 4th building. All are welcome. For questions, contact Sandy Varndell at 330-241 -1281 or svarndell@zoom internet.net.

HRC news

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GLSEN news

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Coming events 3-5 Mature LGBTQ service fair

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Opinion

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Coming Out Day—celebrate Oct. 11 and beyond By Jeanette Nemcek, PFLAG Cleveland vice president October 11 is National Coming Out Day. Coming Out Day is a day celebrating individuals who publicly identify as bisexual, gay, lesbian, or transgender. This year will be the 26th anniversary of the first observance of Coming Out Day. This internationally celebrated event originated in 1987, when half a million people participated in the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. It resulted in the founding of a number of LGBT organizations. Rob Eichberg, a founder of the personal growth workshop, The Experience, and Jean O’Leary, then head of National Gay Rights Advocates came up with the idea of a national day to celebrate coming out and chose the anniversary of the march on Washington to mark it. My own story related to Coming Out Day is not the usual one heard at PFLAG meetings. But it is not exclusive. My daughter Anne came out during her last year of veterinary school. She chose to write a letter to me that she enclosed

in Betty DeGeneres’ book, Love, Ellen. She timed so it would arrive the day before I was leaving for a week-long pilgrimage to Ghost Ranch, NM with a group from my church. She had the foresight to know I would need the group support. You see, during her 3rd year of vet school I asked if a friend of hers was more than a friend after being around them. She said yes, then no. I realize now that she was trying to sort things out for herself, and was being honest. The last decision I knew of was no, until I received the letter. I had no indication of her being lesbian growing up, so this was a total surprise. After the week of processing this at Ghost Ranch, I attended my first PFLAG meeting. As time went on, Anne ended the relationship she was in and met a new man in her life. I learned he was transgender. How do I label (Continued on page 2)

Sponsored registrations for PFLAG Convention There’s still time to register for the PFLAG National Convention, and PFLAG Cleveland will sponsor two registrations ($300 each).

Washington, D.C. October 24-27

Our nation’s capital provides the backdrop for PFLAG’s National Lobby Day, as we meet with members of Congress to elevate issues of LGBT importance. Then, the National Convention will offer workshops, networking, and dynamic presentations on cutting-edge topics to provide the framework your chapter needs to

help move equality forward.

If you are interested in being sponsored by PFLAG Cleveland, please contact chapter president Sharon Groh-Wargo at 440-915-3235 or [email protected]. Register now at https://community.pflag.org/ convention/registration. More information on the convention, including discounted hotel reservation information, can be found at http:// community.pflag.org/convention.

HRC News Canvassing for ENDA Our Mission PFLAG promotes the health and well-being of gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons, their families and friends through SUPPORT to cope with an adverse society; EDUCATION to enlighten an illinformed public; and ADVOCACY to end discrimination and to secure equal civil rights. PFLAG provides opportunity for dialogue about sexual orientation and gender identity and acts to create a society that is healthy and respectful of human diversity.

AKRON CHAPTER PO Box 5471 Akron, OH 44334 P F L AG A K RO N . O RG [email protected]

INFO & HELPLINE: 330-342-5825 Executive Board President-Kim Mosyjowski; VP-Bill Libby; Secretary-Joe Gardner; Treasurer-Sue Magilavy; At LargeChris Goldthorpe, Bob and Valerie Hempel, David Horowitz, Marie Libby, Ed and Audrey Kancler, Joe Mosyjowski, Bob Menapace

Committee Chairs Membership-Chuck Magilavy, Publicity -Marie Libby; Library-David Greene; Hospitality-Rada Jenkins; NewsletterAudrey Kancler

CLEVELAND CHAPTER 615 Prospect St. Berea, OH 44017 P F L AG C LE V E LA N D . O RG

[email protected]

INFOLINE: 216-556-1701 Executive Board President-Sharon Groh-Wargo; VP-Jeanette Nemcek; Treasurer-Art Thomson; Secretary-Marianne Buccini; At Large-Alan Cohen, Bill Franklin, Craig Hoffman, Brian Javor; Jr. Member-Savannah Elise Shermon; Newsletter-Pat Brandt; SnacksRebecca and Carl Schultz; Technology-Corey Glaze, Quentin Jamieson and Dan Symons

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HRC is proud to be a leading partner in the bipartisan Americans for Workplace Opportunity campaign, working to pass the federal Employment Non -Discrimination Act (ENDA) through the U.S. Senate this fall. We are on the ground right now in Ohio urging voters to take action on this critical legislation. A vote is expected in the Senate before the end of the year and we need your help now! Join HRC in canvassing Ohio for ENDA (see right).

Coming Out Day (Continued from page 1) that relationship? What I have come to know is that there is no label I could put on my daughter. She loves people she is attracted to because of who they are, not their sexual orientation. The name for this I learned at my sharing at a PFLAG meeting is pansexual, “hearts not parts.” After a time that relationship also ended, which was very difficult for all of us. Anne is an amazing woman who loves life. I admire her inquiry and desire to live life to the fullest. She is one of the happiest people I know. I continue to hold her loosely, to love her deeply and accept the life she chooses to live. National Coming Out Day continues to promote a safe world for LGBTQ individuals to live truthfully and openly. Some will choose this day to come out to friends and family as a landmark starting point. How you choose to celebrate the day is up to you, but decide. You could choose to wear pride symbols such as the rainbow flag or pink triangles. You might acknowledge the day by talking with someone new about your own story. The impact of people sharing one-on-one can be life changing, both for the person sharing the story as a true expression of self and for the person listening. The inspiration in listening may not be readily evident, but it happens. It is obvious from stories that lives are changed in the PFLAG support meetings. Sharing your own experience will help to change your world. With the Gay Games coming to the greater Cleveland and Akron areas next summer, this would be a prime opportunity to create a new ally, or many, to bring awareness of not only the event, but to the extraordinary lives of people who participate. So celebrate Coming Out Day. Just don’t limit it to one day.

Volunteer to work the phone banks or canvas doorto-door at locations throughout Ohio, including Akron and Cleveland. To register, visit https:// secure3.convio.net/hrc/site/SSurvey?JServSessionI dr004=37hx9bxbo2.app341a&ACTION_REQUIRE D=URI_ACTION_USER_REQUESTS&SURVEY_I D=30602.

Biden to address national meeting The HRC national meeting and dinner will take place in Washington, DC on October 3-5. HRC just announced that Vice President Joe Biden will deliver the keynote address at the sold-out 17th annual National Dinner. The vice president is a true champion of equality and HRC is honored to have him join our community in celebration of a year of unprecedented progress. The national meeting is preceded by a National Lobby Day. Local HRC members will be visiting all the offices of Ohio’s congressional leaders. Sen. Sherrod Brown always makes himself available with open arms. Akron PFLAGers Jane and Bob Daroff, as well as their sons Rob and Brian, will be on hand for all the events of the weekend.

GLSEN Ally Week Visible allies are priceless Ally Week (October 21-25) is an opportunity for students to identify and connect with the people who lift them up and never let them down. Visible allies are critical for LGBT students, especially if they are dealing with anti-LGBT issues at school. Allies can sometimes stand up and support change in ways LGBT students cannot. Being an ally is about standing shoulder-to-shoulder with LGBT students against anti-LGBT language, bullying and harassment in our schools. Visit GLSEN.org for more information or to register your school event. Click through the Ally Pledge and find ideas on how to identify the allies in your life or how to be a better ally.

Y O U ALW AY S H AV E A HO M E AT PFL AG

Summa LGBT resource group Summa Health Systems now offers an employee group called APLUS to help promote an equal environment, educate the system

Cuyahoga Valley train trip for LGBT seniors The LGBT Center of Greater Cleveland invites LGBT seniors to take a lovely trip via the Cuyahoga Valley National Park Scenic Railroad on Saturday, Oct. 19.

We will board the train at 9:00 a.m. and enjoy the 40-minute ride to Peninsula Station. There you will find shops, attractions and some terrific restaurants for lunch.

The morning begins early (8:15 a.m.) when we will meet at the Rockside Rd. Station, 7900 Old Rockside Rd., Independence. Tickets may be purchased at the station for $18 per person.

The train boards for the return trip at 11:25 a.m. (arriving back at Rockside Rd. Station at 12:05 p.m.). However, if you wish to stay in Peninsula a little longer and return later in the

and employees, serve as a resource for employees,

day, you may do so. Tickets are good for any round trip and train schedules are available at Rockside Station.

and provide better support

We hope you will join us for an exciting day of fun and socializing with fellow LGBT seniors.

tients and families.

For more information, contact Gary at GSupinski@LGBT cleveland.org.

and care to LGBTQ pa-

On National Coming Out Day (Oct. 11), the group will host a series of educational events at both Akron

Tulibaluganda: A Snarky Gay Jew's Journey Through Rural Uganda A one-night only benefit performance of this partcomical, part-insightful, part-heartbreaking and completely eye-opening travelogue by Dr. Ken Schneck is being held at the Capital Theater, 1390 W. 65th St., Cleveland, on Wednesday, Oct. 23. Dr. Schneck is an Associate Professor of Education at Baldwin Wallace University and is the host

of “This Show is So Gay”, an award-winning, nationally syndicated radio show. All proceeds will be split between the LGBT Center of Greater Cleveland and AIDS LifeCycle. Tickets ($10) can be purchased at http:// www.clevelandcinemas.com/moviedetails.asp? id=4823 or at the door the night of the event.

City and St. Thomas hospitals from 11:00 a.m.-1:00 p.m. Akron PFLAG will be represented by Kim and Joe Mosyjowski at a resource table. For more info contact Stephanie Carter at [email protected]

Street safety course With the unfortunate events that have been occurring in Cleveland and the decorum of National Coming Out Day, the LGBT Community Center of Greater Cleveland is collaborating with the Buckeye Region Anti-Violence Organization (BRAVO) on Friday, Oct. 11 from 5:30-8:00 p.m. to address hate crimes against the LGBT community.

or 330-375-6312. BRAVO Executive Director Gloria McCauley will speak, followed by a brief instruction on basic street safety taught by instructors from BRAVO. Event will take place at the LGBT Community Center, 6600 Detroit Ave., Cleveland and is limited to 25 participants. RSVP is required. For more information, visit bravo-ohio.org. RSVP with Cindy Yu at 216-651-5428 x.19 or [email protected].

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Open the Door to Equality rally

Akron Teen Pride Our Teen Pride hike and hot dog roast was a success despite the weather. About 25 adults, teens and children enjoyed a brief respite from the rain and a 3-mile hike at Summit County’s Nature Realm Park. At the hot dog roast at the home of Connie and Steve Wagner, the teens did what teens do so well—talked, ate, made some music, and socialized.

Join the 5th annual rally for equality on Sunday, Oct. 13 at the Gazebo on the Square

A GLSEN rep provided information about the Jump Start program, and several youth signed up to increase their leadership skills and helps GSAs get off the ground at their schools. The Teen Pride Network also held its kick-off meeting and has 15 adult volunteers from the three founding organizations signed up for future events.

in downtown Wooster (corner of Liberty and Market streets). “Telling Our Stories” will feature the combined choirs of UUFWC and Westminster Presbyterian Church. Music begins at 3:45 p.m. with speakers from 4:00-5:00 p.m. Guest speakers include PFLAG National President Rabbi David Horowitz and Equality Ohio Executive Director Elyzabeth Holford. The event is sponsored by Ohioans for Marriage Equality, PFLAG Wooster, Westminster Presbyterian Church and the Unitarian Universalist Social Action Committee.

Brown/Schultz lecture 2013 CSU memorial lecture One of the most interesting couples in Northeast Ohio will share the stage to talk civil liberties. Join U.S. Senator Sherrod Brown and Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Connie Schultz as they share their insights and observations on the current state of civil liberties in Ohio and across the country at the Student Center Ballroom at Cleveland State University on Sunday, Oct. 13 at 2:00 p.m. This event is the 2013 Ed Likover Memorial Lecture sponsored by the ACLU of Ohio. It is free and open to the public. To register call 216-472-2200 or visit https://salsa3.salsalabs. com/o/50277/p/salsa/event/common/public/? event_KEY=72463. The CSU Student Center is located at 2121 Euclid Avenue between 21st and 22nd streets. Free Valet Parking is available in CSU lot 22 (below the Student Center and accessible from 22nd street). From the parking garage, take the elevator up to the 3rd level.

Halloween dance The amazing DJ Joey Marfy, who kept the crowd jumping at Pride Prom, returns for our Halloween bash on Saturday, Oct. 19 from 7:00-11:00 p.m. at Unitarian Universalist Church of Akron, 3300 Moorewood Rd. Join us for a fun evening of dancing, dancing and more...dancing! Costumes welcome. Light refreshments. Cost is $5 at the door.

Teen Pride mission statement The Teen Pride Network is the collaborative project between PFLAG Akron, CANAPI and the UUCA. Our mission is to provide safe activities and places for those teens in the greater Akron area who are suffering from a sense of isolation and a negative or hostile environment in their schools, families or smaller communities. We aim to provide safe places and positive, encouraging activities to give them opportunities to meet other LGBTQ teens, allies and caring adults. We are working to dispel the potentially deadly sense of isolation from which many area LGBTQ teens suffer. We recognize that mane schools, churches and families are not supportive or are hostile, and that these teens are in a high-risk group for suicide, self-harm, homelessness and/or drug/alcohol abuse. By providing safe, engaging, healthy, supervised activities which allow them to meet and interact with other gay teens and allies, they will build a supportive network of their peers and of caring adults and save lives.

Break the Silence luncheon with Meredith Baxter Actress Meredith Baxter of “Family Ties” fame will be the keynote speaker at the 20th annual Domestic Violence & Child Advocacy Center’s luncheon on Thursday, Oct. 24 at the Key Center, Downtown Marriott, 127 Public Square. VIP reception includes Q&A with Baxter. Tickets are $75/$150 VIP. Use the promo code LGBT2013 and DVCAC will donate $20 to the LGBT Community Center of Greater Cleveland. For more information or tickets, visit DVCAC.org.

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W HEN Y O U NO LO NG ER N EED PFL AG , T HAT ’ S W HEN PFL AG N EED S Y O U

Jason & deMarco musical 10-year anniversary tour Pop singing duo and reallife partners, Jason & deMarco, will include Cleveland on their 10-year

Mature LGBTQ services fair / Gen Silent movie Services Fair Akron PFLAG is pleased to be part of the Mature LGBTQ Services Fair sponsored by Jewish Family Services’ Senior LGBTQ Outreach Committee. On Monday, Oct. 28 at the Akron Public Library’s main branch beginning at 5:00 p.m., PFLAG and many more organizations which offer assistance to mature (45+) LGBTQ community members or their caregivers will have resource tables and offer information on counseling, support, housing, spiritual, medical, legal and recreational needs. This event is open to the public and is free of charge.

Mature LGBTQ Services Fair is FREE and open to the public. Gen Silent movie At 6:30 the movie Gen Silent will be shown in the Library’s auditorium. “Gen Silent is the critically-acclaimed documentary from filmmaker Stu Maddux (Bob and Jack's 52-Year Adventure, Trip to Hell and Back) that asks six LGBT seniors if they will hide their friends, their spouses—their entire lives in order to survive in the care system. Their surprising decisions are captured through intimate access to their

anniversary tour, “Joy in the Journey: Celebrating

day-to-day lives over the course of a year. It puts a face on what experts in the film call an epidemic: gay, lesbian, and bisexual or transgender older people so afraid of discrimination by caregivers or bullying by other seniors that many simply go back into the closet.

Diversity.”

Unlike any film before, Gen Silent startlingly discovers how oppression in the years before Stonewall now affects older lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people with fear and isolation.

p.m. The event is free—a

A brief panel discussion will be held after the movie to answer questions and discuss issues of aging for LGBTQ citizens.

Franklin Circle Christian Church, 1688 Fulton Rd., will host the concert on Thursday, Oct. 24 at 7:00

love offering will be taken. The international duo is traveling through 21 cities in 30 days accompanied by Jason’s parents and the family’s newest additions, 2 -year-old twin sons Mason

LGBTQ death café—It’s not what you think eFuneral is bringing transparency to the ageold funeral industry and helping LGBTQ individuals make informed end-of-life decisions. The Cleveland-based Internet company is hosting a death café at the Franklin Circle Christian Church, 1688 Fulton Rd., Cleveland on Tuesday, Oct. 29 from 7:00-9:00 p.m.

social attitudes and discrimination,” said Mike Belsito, co-founder of eFuneral. “Our hope is that by sparking the conversation, individuals can overcome their fears and feel more confident in their ability to plan for an end-of-life and death with dignity and respect,” said Chelsea Gumucio, eFuneral Liaison Social Worker.

and Noah. Their most recent album is SAFE. Visit their website at jasonanddemarco.com.

This will be eFuneral’s fourth death café. The first one attracted more than two dozen people The café is free and will be facilitated by hosof all ages and backgrounds. pice social worker Beth Shapiro and Pastor “Through many personal conversations with Allen Harris. Please visit the eFuneral Facecaregivers and those facing end-of-life, we’ve book page (facebook.com/eFuneral/events) to come to realize that when it comes to death let the planners know you will attend. To learn and dying, the LGBTQ community faces a more about eFuneral, visit eFuneral.com. number of specific issues, including negative

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Tom Nobbe and GG9 By Ed Kancler, Akron PFLAG board member

PFLAG CHAPTER MEETINGS Akron 3rd Thursdays - 7:00 pm North Springfield Presbyterian Church 671 N. Canton Rd.

Cleveland 2nd Tuesdays - 7:30 pm Trinity Episcopal Church 2230 Euclid Ave,, 44115

Elyria/Lorain 3rd Mondays - 7:00 pm First Congregational Ch. 4th and Lorain

NEW! Medina Monday, Oct. 28 - 7:00 pm Unity Church 787 Lafayette Rd./Williams on the Lake (4th bldg.)

Wooster 2nd Thursdays - 7:30 pm Universalist Fellowship 3186 Burbank Rd.

Audrey and I met Tom Nobbe as part of a tour group in Israel two and a half years ago. What an interesting fellow, we thought. Who could have guessed that two and a half years later we would know Tom as executive director of Gay Games 9? There are occasions when somehow there is the right person in the right place at the right time. From what we see, GG9 has that person in Tom. Tom Nobbe He began his stint early in 2011 in a part-time capacity and became full-time executive director in July of that year. One of his first undertakings was to expand the GG9 board from around 7 members to a much more diverse 22-member board today. In fact, the GG9 board is the most diverse in the history of the Gay Games.

Northeast Ohio is the smallest region to ever be awarded the Games, so from the get-go Tom saw the need for strong collaboration within the LGBT community, between the LGBT and the broader community, and between Cleveland and Akron, if Northeast Ohio was going to put on the best Games ever. How is he accomplishing this vision of collaboration? By utilizing his skills as a person who gets people to collaborate and agree to join together. This is an ongoing effort which Tom is committed to until—and even after—the Games have concluded next August. Tom’s personality and his background in education, business and health, as well as being an athlete himself (swimming, among other sports), are all factors which have helped to make it happen. Likewise, being born and raised in Cleveland has not hurt either. He is a graduate of

St. Ignatius and John Carroll University and has a master’s degree from Michigan State University. All of that and he is active in the community—a founder of the AIDS Task Force of Cleveland, an early organizer of HRC in Cleveland, former chair of the Episcopal Diocese Commission on Ministry, past board member of Judson Retirement Community, and past president of the National Association of Business Press Editors. The list could go on. Tom Nobbe is a leader and a passionate person. His current passions are GG9, to say nothing of his family—his brothers and sisters, mother and father (ages 95 and 94!) and, of course, his partner of 34 years, David Ward. The right man, in the right place, at the right time.

Youngstown 2nd Tuesdays - 6:30 pm St. John’s Episcopal Ch. 323 Wick Ave.

Thank you to Consolidated Not every PFLAG chapter can produce a full-color newsletter like this one! We sincerely appreciate the generous contribution of the Lanci family and Consolidated Graphics Group for making this possible.

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One voice can change the world In October, PFLAG members from across the country will gather in Washington, DC, to attend the National Convention, One Voice Can Change the World: Honor the Legacy. As our staff puts on the finishing touches, we hope you will consider attending this year.

empowering experience.

Even with this year’s Supreme Court successes, there is still much work to be done on Capitol Hill, our Lobby Day on Oct. 24 is the perfect time to make your voice heard. Whether it is your first time lobbying or you are a seasoned expert, lobbying on the Hill is always an

“We’ve got a more diverse, comprehensive and skillbuilding set of workshop offerings than we’ve ever been able to offer before,” says JeanMarie Navetta, PFLAG National’s Director of Equality & Diversity Partnerships.

The convention kicks into high gear on Oct. 25. Prepare to hear from powerful national speakers and participate in high-impact chapter-driven and coalition-led workshops.

You will also have plenty of

networking time which will allow you to learn from the best teachers—each other. There is always more to learn and new connections to be made. Register today (see front page). We look forward to seeing you there!