FORD WOODS INVITATIONAL TENNIS LEAGUE – 2012

Since 1973 – YEAR 40!

Week 8 – 7/5/12 http://sites.google.com/site/fordwoodstennis/

NOTES: Wimbledon 2012 MEN Semi-Finals: #1 N. Djokovic vs. #3 R. Federer #4 A. Murray vs. #5 J. Tsonga WOMEN Finals: #3 A. Radwanska (Poland) vs. #6 Serena Williams

Week 7 results:

WIMBLEDON DIVISION WIMBLEDON

W

L

Dave Lincoln Mark Messer Steve Nycek Jamal Bakkar

7 4 2 0

0 3 4 6

Lincoln

Messer

S. Nycek

Bakkar

W W L L L

L L L

L

L L

W W W W W W L W W W W W L L L

(Hot Rod) Lincoln over (Nasty) Nycek 6-3, 6-0 – This is a simple explanation as to what happened with Nycek. Before the match he gave a urine sample and it had an olive in it. He wasn’t in much of a condition to play but decided to play anyways. He probably would have had better luck nailing jello to a true courtside. Again the mystery for anybody in the league in trying to find (and exploit) and weakness that the Hot Rod might have. That might like trying to figure out that if moths are attracted to light then why do they sleep all day? But he (like everyone else) will look for the right angle in which to beat – which of course starts with the TRY angle. (Flash) Messer over (Hammer) Bakker 6-0, 6-4 – It was diagnosed earlier in the day that Flash Messer is actually tempermental – 90% temper and 10% mental (he might want to dispute that) but he was

able to push both character traits aside in this thorough beatdown of the Hammer. He recently got into an argument with his ex-wife about religion. He thought that he was God and she didn’t believe him. He sure played as if he had some kind of almightly power and although this guy might be getting a bit older, a lot of times it doesn’t show. He isn’t really 55 plus, he is really $54.95 plus shipping and handling.

FOREST HILLS DIVISION FOREST HILLS

W

L

John Vargo Mike Occhipinti Steve Sliper Paul Plante

5 5 2 2

2 2 5 5

Vargo L L L

W L W

Sliper

Plante

Occhipinti

W W L W W L

W L W L W W W W W L L L L W L L

(Vicious) Vargo over (Octopus) Occhipinti 6-1, 6-3 – The safest place during an earthquake might be a stationary store might also be the safest place to take cover when the new and improved Vargo hits the court. Both players had this match circled on their respective calendars as the winner was likely to capture the 1st half crown for the Forest Hills Division. But who saw this coming? In this ass whipping the the only difference between champ and chump is “U” and as his name indicates Occhipinti has a hankering for vowels. He shouldn’t feel too bad even though early on he knew his days were numbered like those of a calendar. (Picturesque) Plante over (Magic) Sliper 6-1, 6-3 -- Plante continues on this normal MO – start the season slow, double up on the 10W-40 and by midseason we see the Plante bloom. Early in the season this guy just seems to big for his britches but as the season wears on it is clear that he just buys bigger britches. Even Popeye didn’t eat his spinach until he really had to. Magic spent most of the match imitating a sign that he saw recently in a clothing store --Come inside and have a FIT. He tried to have a brainstorm during the match but the best he could do was a slight drizzle.

DAVIS DIVISION DAVIS

W

L

Mark Weiss Brian Nycek Kirk Ellis Nick Stasevich

5 3 2 1

1 2 4 4

Weiss L L W

Stasevich

Ellis

B. Nycek

L W W W W W W W L W L W L W L L L L L

(Candyman) Weiss over (Super) Stasevich 6-2, 3-6, 10-7 -- This was the second time that these road warriors met under 100 degree index at Schoolcraft College Memorial stadium. And, much like the first time, these guys were nearly tripping over their respective tongues (and this was just in warmups). This meltdown lasted nearly 2 and ½ hours and both players needed to spatulaed to their cars. If this thing would have gone three sets there might have been 2 less players in the Davis Division. (Not So) Nycek over (Doc) Ellis 4-6, 3-3 retired—Ellis knew that he was in trouble early on in the 2nd set when he doing battle with the heat and Not So. He was like the midget that overdosed on Viagra – he was a little stiff afterward --- but all the wrong places. He was trying to put the fun is dysfunctional and that might have been the only success that he had. It was clear that Ellis had misplaced his dictionary since he seemed to be at a loss for words. But then again for him it was “Welcome to Shit Creek – Sorry, Pal, we’re out of paddles”.

UPCOMING SCHEDULE July 5, 2012 (Week 8) Plante Weiss

5:00 vs. vs.

Occhipinti Ellis

Vargo Stasevich Messer Bakkar

6:15 vs. vs. vs. vs.

Sliper B. Nycek S. Nycek Lincoln

July 12, 2012 (Week 9) Occhipinti B. Nycek

5:00 vs. vs.

Bakkar Sliper Ellis

5:00 vs. vs. vs.

Sliper Weiss

Stasevich Plante S. Nycek Lincoln

6:15 vs. vs. vs. vs.

Ellis Vargo Bakkar Messer

July 19, 2012 (Week 10) Messer Plante B. Nycek

Lincoln Weiss Vargo

6:15 vs. vs. vs.

S. Nycek Stasevich Occhipinti

** -- First person listed is the home player and is responsible for bringing a new can of tennis balls and will have the option of serving first