Suggestions on Parenting Children Parenting is an important, lifelong job. Like any job, it can be both rewarding and demanding, often requiring new skills and tools. There is no such thing as a “perfect parent”, but there are many things we can do as parents to help our children grow and thrive. • Set clear expectations for behavior, chores and overall responsibilities. • Give your child responsibilities. Even young children can do small things like put away the silverware or their socks and underwear. This allows them to feel a sense of purpose and teaches them they are an important part of the family. • Be consistent after the expectation has been set. Maintain the consequences that you have given, even when it is difficult. • Help children be successful by clearly spelling out the expectations you have using lists or charts. Use a picture chart for children that cannot read yet. • Give positive attention for good behavior, but avoid negative attention for poor behavior. When your child is successful, praise them with a significant amount of energy. •

Limit how much you talk, but try to explain to your child what they did that was not OK. Children have a limited ability to understand and apply things in the future due to their brain development. Limit conversations about negative behavior to 13 words or less, with a clear consequence following the short explanation of what they did that was not acceptable.

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Say ‘yes’ to your children as much as you can. Our tendency is to say ‘no’ too often and our children begin to anticipate a ‘no’, so they do what they want and stop asking. They have increased compliance if we say ‘yes’ to things that are important to them. For example: Yes, you can have that snack. We often say ‘no’ simply because we want to feel in charge. If we allow children to have some say over things in their lives, they are likely to feel more positive and have improved behavior.

• Set a regular routine with a consistent bedtime, time for homework and quiet time before bed. • Limit the use of electronics, especially prior to bed. If you have a teenager, take the electronic at night so that they are not disrupted when sleeping. •

When giving your child directions get down to their level, make eye contact and use minimal words. Only ask children to do one or two things at one time to ensure they are successful. If necessary, make them a small list on a post-it note or dry erase board to help them remember.

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