Help The Homeless INT. OFFICE - MORNING DANNY, 34, works in his cubicle. employee, peeks his head over.
DAMIAN, 78, a homeless
DAMIAN Yo, white boy. WHITE BOY! DANNY I'm Danny and once again, I'm not white. I'm black, just like you. DAMIAN I'm SORRY! Anyway, I need help with my computer. DANNY OK, I'll-DAMIAN I'll suck yo' dick if you help me. DANNY FUCK! You don't need to do that! Once again, you are no longer living on the streets. You are part of a program to get the homeless jobs as programmers at startups. DAMIAN You don't gotta tell me twice, I know that. Coding's going really good, man. DANNY Great. DAMIAN (thinks) Got some smokes? DANNY NO. DAMIAN Want your dick sucked for free? NO!
DANNY Lemme see your workstation.
DAMIAN Aw, HELL yeah!
2. Danny goes to Damian's cubicle. It is FILTHY: newspapers and trash everywhere. Danny rolls his eyes as he steps over trash and goes to Damian's computer. DANNY Well, here's the problem. (holds up keyboard) Your keyboard is covered in peanut butter. DAMIAN I gotta save that shit! on the run!
In case I'm
DANNY There are jars for that. DAMIAN Fuck you and your jars! DANNY (freaking out) And stop cursing all the time! Jeez, you're not on the street anymore! You have a job! You don't have to live in filth. You don't even have to be around filth! Put stuff in your garbage can! And someone else will take that away from you so you can be clean! And stop saving all those soda cans and plastic bottles for extra dollars! You are making $60K a year now! DAMIAN (crying) Yo, it's not for spare change! I'm saving them because y'all don't recycle them around here. Y'all got ergonomic keyboards but no recycle program. What's up? Oh.
Yeah.
DANNY I don't know...
DAMIAN Watch it, white boy! I've never been this disrespected. Not even when I ate all that poop. DANNY I'm sorry--
3. DAMIAN It's... it's OK. I'll clean up around here. I get freaked out by all this kindness you know? DANNY Look, anything I can do to make you more comfortable, let me, man. Thanks.
DAMIAN Suck my dick?
DANNY Will it really help....? Beat.
Danny gets on his knees. DANNY (CONT'D) All right, let's go. END
Want your dick sucked for free? DANNY. NO! Lemme see your workstation. DAMIAN. Aw, HELL yeah! Whoops! There was a problem loading this page. Retrying ...
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