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GENE THE GENIE REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF PHILLIPS AND BAKER, LLC Shawn Von der Hellen September 24, 2011 EXT. BASEMENT - DAY SOLOMAN walks alone through the forest and stumbles on some branches. On hi sway down, his hand accidentally brushes a long buried genie lamp. GENE THE GENIE appears. GENE THE GENIE You have awakened the great and powerful Gene the Genie. SOLOMAN What the...? Are you for real? GENE THE GENIE Gene the Genie is a registered trademark of the private equity firm Phillips and Baker, LLC. SOLOMAN Do I get like wishes or something? GENE THE GENIE You get two wishes. Can I...?

SOLOMAN

GENE THE GENIE (interrupting) No. Only two. SOLOMAN Why only two, I thought the standard was three? GENE THE GENIE Sure, back when genies we were owned by the public we would give you three. But recently we’ve been getting bought up by Wall Street predators. SOLOMAN But don’t you just give stuff away? How is there any money in that?

2. GENE THE GENIE I don’t know. I don’t know, when they bought us out they said they used the Facebook slash Twitter valuation method. SOLOMAN Okay, well, I’ll take an infinite bank account. GENE THE GENIE Sorry, Section 132, Rule 419-a of the Phillips and Baker, LLC handbook states no monetary gifts. SOLOMAN What?! That’s a rip off. Okay, want every beautiful girl I ever see to offer to fuck me. GENE THE GENIE Yeah, we can only grant tangible things. P and B have leased our whimsical powers with a Chinese manufacturing conglomerate. I can be your wing man for like an hour. SOLOMAN Would that count as a wish? GENE THE GENIE Yes, but it’s a great icebreaker. SOLOMAN Well, can I get a pizza? GENE THE GENIE How about a recommendation? your lost, I could give you directions.

If

SOLOMAN No, I live about 200 yards behind me. GENE THE GENIE Oh. Well, would you like to here the most popular selections? SOLOMAN Kay. But this is really starting to bum me out.

3. GENE THE GENIE Number one: Tips on how to make a perfect pot roast. Number two: Tips on how to make chicken a la king. And number three: How to tell when that chicken is done. SOLOMAN looks confused. GENE THE GENIE (CONT’D) Well, P and B also owns food.com. SOLOMAN Never mind. I’m just gonna go back inside and forget this happened. GENE THE GENIE Sir, would you like to fill out a customer satisfactory survey? You could win a $20 Bed, Bath, and Beyond gift certificate? Blackout.